My Secret Wonderland

So I just had a dream where my boyfriend and I were underwater on some old ship I think. No scuba gear. I think we were just looking around when we looked up and there was this big shark swimming above. I am so scared of sharks. So he grabbed me and we layed on this old bed and were trying to think of what to do. Cause we could hold our breath forever. I was I think starting to freak out. We kept an eye on the shark and at one point I think it went away and we climbed these stairs, that I don't think were there before and got out. I remember thinking or somehow saying "is this real? Guess we'll find out." I feel like this dream ment something but I don't know what. If anyone is good with dream interpretation could you tell me what this dream means?

I'm scared my overthinking is gonna push my bf away or something. I've been letting it mess with my mood and I think he can sometimes tell. But he just has no idea why. Cause I haven't really talked to him about my overthinking. I know I should but I just don't know how. I hate this.

Wish snapchat didn't exist. Though I guess if it isn't snap it would be something else.

I hate wondering if my boyfriend is talking to someone else or maybe even just sending pics or just something. When he has been such a good boyfriend. Never had a guy treat me the way he does. We spend so much time together. So I don't know why I overthink. I hate it. I don't want to feel this way. Not with him. I know I should talk to him let him know I'm overthinking, but I just don't know how or what to say. I'm just scared of losing him. I don't want to be scared anymore.

So been seeing this guy, one of my coworkers, for almost 2 months. Things have gone a bit fast. Became official after a couple weeks. Said "I love you" after about a month. He had been engaged till maybe July. I had no part on their breaking up. I hardly had much interaction with him till we started talking in October. But I have had a crush on him since he started working where I work a year ago. Things have been great. Compared to other guys I've talked to he's the best. Actually takes me out on dates. I've met family and a friend. And with him I hardly overthink. I mean I still would but it wouldn't get to me. I'd just push those thoughts away. But then a couple weeks ago a coworker told my other coworker that his ex wanted to get back with him but he said no. And now I've been wondering if they're still talking. They're still friends on fb. We aren't even friends on fb. Said he's Taki a break from it yet still gets on, he shows me posts and stuff, but had it to where you can't send him a friend request. And now I'm wondering if maybe he's talking to one of his friends. He has a lot of friends that are girls. I don't know if I should be worried or not but now I'm overthinking. And I hate it. I know I should ask or bring this stuff up but I'm too scared to. Think I should just enjoy this. Even if I end up getting hurt later. Ugh I don't know.

Someone tell me not to text him. Been 5 days since I last talked to him. And 3 days since I last texted him. Ughhh I hate this.

Just need to do some ranting so here goes. I've always said I would never date anyone younger than me. Well anyone younger than one or 2 years. So someone 6 years younger liked me on fb dating. It took me a while to decide whether or not to like them back. And I had ended up deciding to like them back. Turns our we had so much in common and I was really starting to like them even though we hadn't met yet. Well it's been like 2 days since they've texted me and I am just so scared that they ghosted me. Like wtf. He seemed like he was really into me and we were on the same level. Matching each others energy. And then boom nothing. And it hurts cause we had so much in common, almost like we were the same person and now nothing? Like wtf!?! Why???? He said in his profile he was looking for something meaningful. And I thought maybe this would head that way. I knew I shouldn't have liked him back I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached butnI fucking did and now I've gotten ghosted AGAIN!!! LIKE WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!?!! AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY???? WHAT THE DAMN FUCK!?!?!?!?!

Why can't the ones I want ever want me back? I mean I know I hardly know this guy, even though we've been talking for a month. And I probably only like him this much because I'm attracted to him. But like it's just also how I feel around him. I'm usually so nervous or like idk but with him I'm not. I mean I still feel a little nervous but not like how it's been with other guys. When we first met I was more excited than nervous. Yet the previous guy, when we were going to meet I was extremely nervous. My heart was like beating so fast. I hate that feeling. But when I went to meet this guy it wasn't like that. At all. Which is weird to me. And now I know he probably isn't the one but I want him to be the one right now. But idk if he is even still interested in me. Or like what happened but things are weird now. Haven't seen him in 6 days. And I miss him. Not sure I've ever missed a guy like this. Ughhhh this sucks. I hate it.

When the guy you started talking to online turns out to be cuter than you thought! And has a great smile, which I can sometimes be a sucker for! I hope he really is a good guy. 🤞

Just finished School Spirits and OMG!!! I was so right about that guy! But I sooo did not see that coming!! There best be a second season!!!