xushi

you always knew juyeon to be a quiet and sweet boyfriend, so it was expected that you would see the same kind of persona when you both got to know each other better.

and by ‘better’ you mean better.

tonight wasn’t just an ordinary date between you both. he often took you out to dinner and/or went to go see a movie with you—he was a bit old school when it came to choosing date spots—although tonight wasn’t just special because of where he took you this time, that was for sure.

“i never thought the stars would be so bright tonight,” you mumbled behind your palm, as you had your elbow rested on the car door.

“mhm,” you heard juyeon hum from the other side. “the shine makes you look even more pretty.”

you blushed lightly, glancing down at the sparkles on your dress, remembering back on the evening you spend with him.

today was your one year anniversary.

he took you out to celebrate the day but as night fell, you both found yourselves secluded away from other buildings in juyeon’s car, staring at the stars out the open windows. the low music, bright moonlight, and piney smell was enough to set the mood since the moment he pulled over.

he looked over at you, your eyes still focused out your window. he didn’t need to look at your face to tell that you were flustered.

the way you fiddled your thumbs together and shifted your legs in the seat explained how you were feeling within a heartbeat.

you didn’t say anything and neither did he, causing you to glance over in his direction.

his tie was loose and his hair ruffed up in the best way possible, you could see the sparkles of your dress reflecting in his eyes and the way the moonlight shined in though his window, onto his fair skin.

he’s perfect.

suddenly, you felt a hand reach out for your knee, rubbing his thumb on your lower thigh. another spring of heat flushing over you but this time to places other than your cheeks.

“y/n,” he calls your name, you’re barely listening. “hm?” you hum in small desperation. “can i…” he trailed off as he slowly leans closer to you. he didn’t finish his sentence, but agreed regardless how far tonight went.

you were okay with it all, on such a perfect night.

he closed the gap between your lips, letting you melt into the kiss with passionate time as his thumb inches up further and into small circles.

his tongue was hot against yours, the both of you pulling away every few seconds to catch you breath.

you didn’t look up from his lips until you heard him chuckle lightly, spiking your curiosity.

“you already look so fucked out,” he smiled though his heat-pouring words. his free hand, that was caressing the back of your neck, moved his thumb over your bottom lip and onto the flat of your tongue. you looked up into his eyes, closing your mouth on his finger. “so pretty,” he tugged his bottom lip in between his teeth, you could tell he was having a hard time holding himself back.

you couldn’t blame him.

“let’s move this to the back, hm?”

you nodded.

after the both of you settled into the backseat, he ordered you to get into his lap, guiding your legs over his hips. “good girl,” you could feel his fingers crawling up your thigh again as the other placed itself largely on your waist. you gripped his shoulders, fighting a peep out until his tongue swiped across your nape. you squirmed, “that tickles!” you whined with a smile, he only giggled. “whoops,” he murmured before attaching his tongue to your neck again, only this time, sucking and licking the sensitive skin.

you failed to keep a noise out of you, your fingers gripping onto the black fabric of his thin t-shirt.

you could feel every inch of his slender body through the shirt as if it wasn’t there, but you knew it was, and that bothered you.

you tugged at the buttons on his shirt, throwing the piece somewhere in the car before your fingers trailed all the way down his chest, prompting his own to scurry up the waist of your dress and over your head. his eyes scanned over your half naked body as if it was the first time he had seen it ever before.

“what is it?” you asked softly, the tips of your fingers brushing the hairs on the back of his neck. “you’re so perfect,” he mumbled.

he was very heavy on the praising, tonight.

“so perfect,” his hands traced over your sides, feeling the curve in his palms shape perfectly. “every inch of you,” you arched your back instinctively causing your hips to roll back onto his.

a groan filled the car from the both of you.

“y/n,” he sighed out as you tried to roll your hips again, his arms wrapping around your waist for steadiness. “i can feel how wet you are,” you moaned.

his voice was low and his hands felt big on your body, making you feel small against him.

it was great.

“y/n, i can’t wait any longer,” he whined. “can i fuck you here, pretty baby?” he rubbed his thumb over the wetness gathering through your panties. you couldn’t help but moan back. “please do,” you helped him out of his black slacks and his underwear, starting on yours next.

pecking at your lips as he unclipped your bra, letting it fall somewhere onto the car floor, his big hands back to caressing your soft skin. he purposely teased your panties off, hooking his fingers around the sides but not pulling them off as quick as you wanted him to. but you didn’t complain, as you were too focused on his tongue rolling around your nubs and trying to rip open the condom packet he handed you moments before.

he let out a small sigh as you rolled the small rubber onto him, rubbing more circles onto your waist as if to contain himself from losing control.

you could tell how much he wanted this part of the night to come sooner.

although you had done it with juyeon a good handful of times now, it was still surprising to you how different this side of him was. especially this night, you weren’t used to him being this… expressive.

you liked it.

you liked it when he praised you for doing nothing but looking pretty, you liked it when he kissed your neck while he prepared you with his long slender fingers, and you most definitely liked it when he sank you down onto him, feeling the slightest burn in the stretch but not enough to pull away from him.

the both of you moaned into each others bodies.

“i’ve waited for this for so long,” he whispered into your neck, his hot breath tickling you. “juyo… we did it last week,” you reminded him, your fingers back to work on his black strands. “this isn’t the same,” he replied back, your breath was caught short when he suddenly started moving. although, at a much slower pace than he usually started with.

“i’m not just fucking you, y/n,” he leaned his head back a bit, your hands cupping the back of his neck.

“i want to make love to you.”

as corny as his words sounded, you could feel the heat rushing from your cheeks to your core, he sighed at the sudden tightness.

that was one way to let him know that you loved him.

“quit teasing me,” you softly spoke before closing the gap between your lips, his hands guiding your hips at a steady pace. “i do it because i know you like it,” he murmured into your lips, a soft moan escaping you in response.

you weren’t sure if it was because you were easy to read but juyeon had always been good at finding out your weakness.

it was a blessing and a curse—but more of a blessing.

before you knew it, juyeon had you turned on your hands and knees, your palms sweaty against the car door creating steamy hand prints against the cold windows. hopefully that won’t leave handprints tomorrow. “holy shit, you’re perfect for me,” he bit his lip as his hands rested on your ass, the sight of you bent over for him while in the back of his car being more erotic than he had imagined. “fuck…” he groaned out as he entered you from behind, pushing through your hot and soft walls.

the feeling, along with the image of you, it was too much.

he swore he wouldn’t bust this fast but you were making it more and more difficult for him as the night went on.

you gripped onto the door, unable to hold back your moans as he thrusted sloppily into you. at this point, the low music was heavily overpowered by both of your voices and wet skin-to-skin slapping. his fingers digged into your hips so hard that you would be surprised if they didn’t leave marks by the end of the night, his breath was hot against your back, planting wet kisses down your spine until he couldn’t anymore.

“juyeon…” you breathlessly called to him, propping yourself up more to get a good look at him behind you. “i know, me too,” he sighed, his lips crashing onto yours, one hand cupping your cheek as the two of you chased your high.

you were the first to go, a long moan escaping past your lips and onto your boyfriends tongue, following a low groan afterwards from him. he kept thrusting into you as he rode out his orgasm, you squirmed in sensitivity.

waiting a moment to catch your breath, he slowly pulled himself out of you, a small whine coming from you at the loss of his warmth.

despite just cumming, you ached to be filled up again.

“what?” he noticed your longing stare. “you want to go again?” he chuckled, pulling the condom off of his still aching cock.

once was never enough for him.

“you know me so well,” you hummed seductively, leaning in for a peck on his lips.

“this is our anniversary, after all,” he smirked into your lips before pulling away with a lustful look.

“grab another condom.”

the sweet part of the night was over, now it was time for the real fun.

There were three basic rules when it came to working for Choi Seungcheol:

1. Be on time.

2. Be efficient.

3. Maintain professional boundaries.

The rules were simple enough, but you quickly learned that there was nothing simple about them. Seungcheol was nothing if not a strict man. He demanded excellence, and anyone who didn’t live up to his rigorous standards ended up fired. Any person who managed to keep their job for a month could keep a job anywhere. At least, that’s what his entire staff seemed to think.

They weren’t exactly wrong. His standards were impossibly high, and he left little to no room for any error. It’s the very reason why Seungcheol had gone through five nannies before you, each worse than the last, according to him.

Because of this daunting fact, you’ve been very careful to never fall bellow his expectations. All the meticulous routines you made for yourself became like second nature within the first month, and it’s what kept your job secure for the last four years.

In all that time you had managed to follow the rules, but that didn’t mean it was easy. Especially since you came to absolutely adore the six-year-old boy that you were hired to take care of. Choi Taehyun was the cutest and most endearing kid you’d ever met. As soon as you met him, he had wedged his way into your heart and secured a permanent place for himself there.

The overt fondness you felt proved to be dangerous because from the very beginning, Seungcheol was adamant that you never overstep your duties as a nanny. It was his way of saying you’re not his mother so never try to act like you are. According to Josh (his assistant and the person who helped you get the job), your boss only acted this way because he still hadn't fully overcame his wife’s death. You could understand his pain which is why you were always careful not to do anything that could be seen as crossing the line.

But now, as you’re looking at Taehyun’s tear-filled eyes, all the professionalism you’ve had so far just seems to evaporate from your body. His bottom lip is trembling as he tries his hardest to muffle the whimpers and sobs at the edge of his throat. A concerned frown tugs your lips down when you go to gently wipe his fallen tears.

“Tae, what’s wrong?” You ask, feeling like someone is squeezing your heart painfully.

“Daddy’s not going to watch my play.”

The aforementioned play was something Taehyun and his entire class had been working on for about a month. He was extremely excited about it because he was assigned one of the main roles.

“It’s not fair.” Taehyun cries softly, clinging to your hands that were gently wiping his cheeks. “All my friends’ mommies and daddies are gonna watch.”

The discomfort in your chest grows as tears continue to spill from his eyes. All you can do is hug the little boy close to you in an effort to comfort him. He buries his wet face into your shoulder, clinging on to you like he never wants to let you go.

“I’m sorry, baby. You know your daddy would watch you if he could. I know he’s just as sad as you are that he can’t be there.” You rub gentles circles on his back, desperate to stop his tears from flowing.

Then, you say something you know your boss would definitely not approve of. “I know it’s not the same, but if you want, I can come watch you instead.”

Taehyun’s whimpers turn into soft sniffles as he pulls back to look at you. His eyes are still filled with tears, but now a hopeful look has taken over his gaze. “Really? You’ll come watch me?”

You realize that what you’re doing is literally bulldozing through the boundaries you’ve stayed within so far, but you would do just about anything for Choi Taehyun. There was no way you could let him be sad for another moment. So, you disregard the foreboding feeling in your gut and smile at the young boy.

“Of course I will.”

“Promise?” He’s looking at you with his huge doe eyes, pinky stuck out at you, wearing the most hopeful expression you’ve ever seen.

As Taehyun wraps his arms around you in joy, you contemplate whether or not it’s smart of you to let your emotions dictate your actions this way.

Meanwhile, your boss feels like he’s losing his mind.

As the CEO of a major conglomerate, he’s always been a level-headed, professional man. There isn’t a single thing that could make him lose his composure or make him get out of character.

This, however, doesn’t seem to apply whenever it involves his sweet, caring nanny.

Ever since you came into his life, things had changed drastically for him. You had unknowingly brightened his life in a way that he never thought was possible after his wife’s passing. Years hadn’t healed the pain, but for some reason your presence and actions had done what time couldn’t.

Seungcheol doesn’t realize the extent of his feelings until his personal assistant casually mentions that he was in the midst of arranging a date between you and the head of marketing, Jeon Wonwoo. A feeling that could only be described as rabid jealousy lights up in the pit of his stomach and expands up into his chest as Josh unwittingly goes on about how his subordinate is exactly your type.

“I don’t think that would be appropriate.” Seungcheol cuts in when Joshua says you agreed to go on this date after seeing a picture of Wonwoo. “When things don’t work out between them, it’ll bring tension into the office. The last thing I want is for either of them to feel uncomfortable.”

The way his boss said when and not if doesn’t go unnoticed.

Also, Seungcheol’s logic is seriously flawed. They both know it. In all the time you’ve worked as the CEO’s nanny, never once had you came to see him while he was working. You were annoyingly good at keeping boundaries and never overstepping. It never bothered him before, but now that he keeps thinking about it, it’s starting to.

Josh doesn’t comment on what’s blatantly obvious, mostly because he feels stupid for not realizing it sooner. It’s also clear that his boss is only barely coming to terms with his own feelings. Instead of rubbing salt in the wound, Josh is quick to assure Seungcheol that he won’t go forward with the setup before bringing his attention to his next schedule.

If only that would’ve helped him get his mind off of you.

Seungcheol is distracted during his meetings. These very large feelings are at the forefront of his mind, and they don’t fade in the slightest even as the day goes on. He starts to go over every time you’ve smiled at him in that sweet way you do. His heart jumps whenever he thinks back to those memories.

He can’t help but feel like an idiot for being so blind to his own feelings.

Things don’t feel the same when he goes home. When he finds you helping his son with his homework, all these feelings hit him at once. It’s almost funny how he never noticed the burning feeling in his chest. You’re so sweet and attentive and entirely focused on Taehyun that you don’t notice his presence. A tender smile takes over his face.

Briefly, Seungcheol thinks he wouldn’t mind coming home and seeing this lovely sight every day.

He only snaps out of his daydreams when you raise your head and stand up to greet him with a kind smile. “Mr. Choi. You’re back early.”

Seungcheol, he wants to say. Call me Seungcheol.

“Dad!”

He’s quickly distracted when he feels a small body collide with his legs. Seungcheol’s heart swells with affection as he bends down to pick up his son. Taehyun giggles happily as he wraps his small arms around his father’s neck.

Being so endeared by the sight of your boss hugging his son and peppering his little face with kisses isn’t anything new. It’s so cute that you can feel a goofy smile slowly form on your face. In the back of your mind, you know exactly why this overt fondness is clinging to your heart. But in this moment in time, you’re not willing to unpack the inappropriate feelings you have for your boss

Seungcheol doesn’t make it easy, though. For some reason he insists on helping you prepare dinner. He’s strangely eager, and you can’t really reject his offer to help. It’s both exciting and nerve-wracking to spend time with your sexy boss like this since he usually only talks to you about Taehyun.

You can’t take your eyes off Seungcheol as he rolls up his sleeves and puts on a spare apron. It’s unfair that he looks as good as he does, and you can barely keep your calm when he starts to wash the vegetables you bought in the morning. His actions feel so domestic and so sweet that you have to try your hardest to act like you’re not enjoying it as much as you are.

“I hope Taehyun didn’t wear you out too much.” Your boss says as you start to chop the freshly washed vegetables. “He’s had a lot of energy lately.”

“That’s normal for boys his age.” You say kindly. “And Taehyun’s very well-behaved, especially compared to kids his own age. You’ve raised him well, Mr. Choi.”

Seungcheol beams at the compliment, embracing the fluttering he feels in his torso and chest. Briefly, he thinks that you don’t give yourself enough credit. After all, you’ve helped raise his son more than anyone.

“In that case, I hope you can join us for dinner.”

His invitation shouldn’t make you feel the way it does. You swallow thickly, chopping movements slowing as you contemplate your answer. It’s not like you’ve never had dinner with the a father-son duo, but it was always on the insistence of Taehyun. But now that Seungcheol was the one asking, you didn’t know what to do.

Up until now, you had been very careful to not overstep the boundaries your boss had set in place by your boss, and you couldn’t understand why the same man who hated when people didn’t remain professional and respect his boundaries was asking you to do just that. Given that your big fat crush is extremely hard to hide, you’re sure that putting some distance between you two is the right thing to do.

But with the way Seungcheol’s shining eyes are imploringly staring at you, it’s hard to think of a reason to reject his invitation.

“Mr. Choi.” You say nervously as you two begin to set up the dinner table. “I... I have something to tell you.”

His gaze is intent, and you try to remain as calm as possible. “Since you won’t be able to attend Taehyun’s play, I’m going to watch him instead.”

“You?”

Your boss’s expression is unreadable, and you can’t tell what he’s thinking. Still, you soldier on and try to pretend you’re not as intimidated as you are.

“Yes. It’s something that’s important to me, and I hope you don’t mind me being there for him.”

If Seungcheol had any doubts about his feelings, he definitely didn’t now. To think that you would care so much about his son warms his heart and further cements what he already knew about you. He gives you a smile, heart bursting with affection. “I don’t mind at all. I’m glad you’ll be able to be there to watch my son.”

Honestly, Josh had managed to rework his schedule so he could see the play and surprise Taehyun, but surprising the both of you was good too.

Somehow, you manage to conceal the shock you feel. You didn’t think he would agree so easily, let alone be pleased with the idea. Instead of questioning it any further, you only thank the skies that he didn’t react angrily.

It’s hard to pretend that eating together doesn’t fill you with a copious amount of joy. Listening to Taehyun tell you all about how he can count higher than his best friend while you and Seungcheol praise him makes you feel like you’re part of their family. Maybe it’s wrong or even delusional, but you can’t help wanting to have this dynamic with them indefinitely.

“You’re leaving already?”

Taehyun is looking up at you with his large doe eyes, and you can’t help but break down a little on the inside at the disappointment they hold.

“I’ll be back tom—”

“Stay.” Seungcheol says, walking towards you. “I could really use your help putting this little monster to sleep.”

Ignoring the blatant domesticity of reading Taehyun a bedtime story together is near impossible. It gets even worse when your boss insists you stay until his son falls asleep. You almost feel like you’ve been dropped in an alternate universe when you’re ready to leave and your boss stops you again.

“Let me take you home.” Seungcheol says as you’re gathering your things. “Please.”

It’s not fair that he can seem so cute while saying this to you, and despite your better judgement, you say yes all while knowing that it’s not going to help you squash the onslaught of emotions in your chest.

Something was up with your boss.

You’re not sure why he was acting like he had gotten body snatched, but truthfully, you can’t say that you hate it. Having breakfast and dinner with him and Taehyun was something you loved more than you let show. This warm, mushy feeling always wrapped itself around you and clung on to you every time it happened despite it having become part of your routine.

The change is significant, and you can tell you’re not the only one who’s noticed. Josh had made a few teasing remarks, but never blatantly said what you knew he was thinking. (He was the first to know about your not-so-little crush on your boss so it wasn’t really surprising.) Of course, Taehyun had also noticed, although he was much more vocal about it.

“Dad, you always smile so big when all us eat together.”

The blush that dusts your boss’s cheeks is absolutely adorable, and you can barely keep a straight face when Seungcheol clears his throat to answer his son. “That’s because it makes me happy.”

It’s not fair that he can say something like that so casually and like it doesn’t literally make your entire heart pulse with affection. Somehow, you manage to keep all your feelings tampered down so they don’t show.

And for the most part it works. Until the day of Taehyun’s play, that is.

Seungcheol had assured you that supporting his son in his stead was definitely not crossing the line, but it was near impossible from feeling like that’s exactly what you were doing. It doesn’t help that you feel so out of place among the parents, either. To be fair, none of them were paying you any attention. You were just too in your head.

After fighting with your inexplicable anxiousness, you decided to just silently go to the auditorium without being noticed. This plan would’ve gone well if an unfamiliar voice hadn’t loudly called out your full government name, drawing the attention of many of the gathered parents. A woman who you recognized to be the principal’s wife approaches you with a tight-lipped smile.

Mrs. Ren looks you up and down, the condescending smile on her face widening impossibly. “I didn’t realize you were going to be here.”

Her attitude didn’t surprise you since many of the other moms had commented about her being very attracted to your boss. Apparently she had staked this weird claim on him despite being married, and no one dared to go against her because of who she was. Clearly, she didn’t like that you were overstepping the duties of a typical nanny.

Not that you cared, but having so many eyes on you was unsettling.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” You challenged, not daring to back down. “Taehyun is family, after all.”

You don’t miss the quiet gasps or the angry widening of Mrs. Ren’s eyes. Honestly, you had no idea why you blurted that out even though that’s how you really felt about the cute little boy you took care of.

“So, it’s true?” The woman behind her exclaimed in shock. “You’re really going to marry Seungcheol?”

Woah. Wait. What?

You can feel your eyes get big as this unknown woman goes on about how she knew her husband hadn’t lied to her. There was no time to fully process her words because Mrs. Ren practically had steam coming out of her ears as she sneered at you.

“You?” The principal's wife screeched. “You’re engaged to Choi Seungcheol?”

It’s almost funny how unreasonably angry you know she’s gotten, but you’re too thrown off by the entire situation to laugh. You decide to clear up this absurd claim before it can go any further.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”

You cut yourself off when a strong hand is gently placed on your waist. The warmth of a muscular body pressed against your side has you looking over to see none other than your hot boss, and you have to stop yourself from flinching because he looks absolutely livid. His presence makes you feel relieved and mortified all at the same time which leaves you feeling confused. But damn, does that mean glare look attractive on him.

“I didn’t expect this reaction from you, Mrs. Ren.” His cold tone sends shivers down your spine. “Are you not happy that I’ve finally decided to settle down again?”

The entire situation feels like a bizarre dream, and you can only be sure it’s not because of the very real heat coming from Seungcheol’s hand (which is still firmly on your waist). You can barely fathom the fact that Choi Seungcheol is actually lying about being engaged to you to help you save face, and you don’t know if you’re more embarrassed or charmed at this point.

“Tha-That’s not it!” She splutters, red in the face. “I was just surprised because I didn’t know you were dating again in the first place!”

It’s a lame excuse, one that doesn’t seem to satisfy your boss. “I’m sure that was it. There’s no way you would bear any ill will toward my family, right?”

You feel like you might actually swoon at his words. To hear him refer to you as his family makes an unmistakable warmth spread through your body. Sure, he was only doing it to help you, but still. The intention alone was enough to make your heart race.

The face Mrs. Ren makes looks like she’s seconds away from bursting with anger and mortification. How she manages to answer Seungcheol calmly is beyond you. “Of course not.”

“Good.”

His hand falls from your waist and grabs your own. It takes all your willpower to not melt into a puddle of mush as he starts to guide you away from the prying eyes. You let him drag you along, mind too full of rampant thoughts to really process what just happened.

“Seungcheol!” A voice calls. “Wait!”

You both stop, turning to see the woman from before. She gives your boss a devious smirk as she stops in front of you two, seemingly pleased.

“Aren’t you two a match made in heaven.” She says, grin getting bigger with every word. “Keeping this little affair a secret. When Jeonghan told me about it, I didn’t believe it since I haven’t seen you two together, but with the way you looked swooped in like Prince Charming—”

As she trails off with a swoon, you realize that she’s Yoon Minji, wife of your boss’s lifelong friend and business associate. Your mind is so muddled that you barely catch her invite you both to dinner before leaving to go find a seat.

After she leaves, Seungcheol keeps guiding you to the auditorium without saying a word. The silence is painful, but you’re forced to endure it since you don’t know what to say. Thanking him for helping you would be a good start, but then you don’t know if you’d be able to hold yourself back from asking why the wife of his best friend thought you two were engaged to be married.

“Y/N.” Seungcheol says your name softly as you two stop just outside the doors that lead to the auditorium. “Once again, I want to thank you for coming. I know it’s going to mean a lot to Taehyun that you came to watch him.”

The way you look at him with your pretty eyes makes Seungcheol want to kiss you senseless. His heart is beating fiercely in his chest, and he wonders how he could’ve never noticed these intense feelings before. The smile you give him is blinding, and he wishes that look would remain on your face forever.

“I’m happy to be here, and I know that it’s going to mean the world to Tae that you were able to make it.”

Seungcheol swallows thickly. “Also, I’m sorry about what happened back there. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable with what I said.”

His gaze is so tender that you feel your breath hitch. You’re heart is beating like it’s about to jump out and jump right into Seungcheol’s hands. Unsurprisingly, that’s where it feels like it’s been for the past year. You’re snapped out of your intrusive thoughts when you realize that you’re still holding hands. Neither of you make a move to let go.

“You didn’t.” You’re quick to assure him. “I’m actually really grateful that you helped me. I hope I didn’t inconvenience you.”

“Never.”

His smile is so pretty it makes you want to do unspeakable things to him, and you have to remind yourself of where you’re at and who you are. That reminder does little to squash the fire burning fiercely in your chest, though. Especially when Seungcheol guides you inside the auditorium, hand still wrapped around yours.

Seungcheol didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when he was about to enter the kitchen, your phone was on the counter and on speaker. It was inevitable that he heard his assistant’s voice as he spoke to you. He might’ve given you the privacy you deserved had he not caught what you two were talking about.

“How have you still not found something?” Josh’s concerned voice booms through the phone. “Your lease literally ends in two weeks.”

Originally, you had planned to move into a nice apartment building not too far from your job, but that fell through when you found out the prices had gone up significantly in the last month. It’s not like you were underpaid or anything (Seungcheol was very generous and the benefits were nothing short of impressive), but living there would mean spending more than half of your check on just rent alone. And as generous as your boss was, you know you could never bring yourself to ask for a raise.

“Everything I’ve looked at is either in a sketchy neighborhood or looks like it’ll need serious repairs.” You sigh as you start wiping down the stove. “I’m starting to think I should’ve never rejected Mr. Choi’s offer of being a live-in nanny.”

“Just tell him you changed your mind.” Josh says like it wouldn’t be a big deal. “He might give you the best room in the employee house. You know the one with the balcony!”

You disregard his teasing tone and scowl. “There’s no way I’m going to backtrack now. Do you know how humiliated I’ll be when he tells me no? I’ll have to quit right then and there!”

Even though you can’t see your friend, you can easily picture him rolling his eyes. “What do you plan on doing then?”

You pout at the phone. “Can’t I just live with you and Junhui? Your place is so nice.”

“You’ll have to stay in the living room, and you won’t have anywhere to put your things.”

Seungcheol sees your shoulders slump, and he has to stop himself from walking into the kitchen and taking you into his arms. He can only watch helplessly as you sigh quietly before responding in a voice that sounds too dejected for his liking.

“Maybe I’ll just move back in with my parents.”

This might’ve made Seungcheol feel better had his assistant not cut in with the obvious flaws in your plan. “Won’t the commute be too much, though? You can’t do that every day. Not with how early and late you have to work.”

There’s a pause, and then the next words that come out of Josh’s mouth make Seungcheol feel like someone punched him in the stomach.

“Unless you’re planning on resigning.”

Your silence makes the feeling in his stomach worsen, and your response doesn’t make him feel all that better. “Well, no, but... I don’t know. Maybe I’ll have to.”

Seungcheol slowly backs away, heart thumping irregularly in his chest. The thought of you quitting and no longer being in his life is more devastating than he could’ve imagined. It torments him and leaves him feeling cold.

For the rest of the evening, he can’t get his mind off the conversation he heard or how it leaves him feeling.

Even as he lays in his bed in the middle of the night, he can’t stop thinking about it. He goes over the situation over and over in his head until he finally decides that he can’t give you up, selfish as his reasons may be. All Seungcheol has to do is make sure his son won’t have an issue with what he’s planning to do.

“Taehyun.” He says softly as he’s tucks his son into bed alone for the first time in months. “You like Y/N, don’t you?”

The way the little boy vigorously nods his head makes his heart warm. “Yeah! She’s nice and pretty and I like when she calls me Tae!”

Seungcheol swallows, feeling more nervous than ever. “Then... how would you feel about her being around more often?”

Taehyun blinks slowly, weary eyes looking at his dad questioningly. As always, his son is silently asking to explain and get to the point. It’s hard to suppress a smile when he does things that remind Seungcheol how similar they are.

“What I mean is... would you like it if Y/N came to live here with us?”

It’s a relief when his son springs up, eyes shining with unadulterated excitement. “Y/N is going to live with us?” His happiness is evident. “Really?”

Seungcheol smiles tenderly, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

“I have to ask her first, but if she says yes, then she’ll come stay with us—as long as that’s something you want.”

“I do want it!” Taehyun says, bouncing on his knees. “Then we can all live together like a family!”

Yes, Seungcheol thinks as he affectionately caresses his son’s face. Like a family.

The next morning, you’re surprised to see your boss still hasn’t left for work even when you’re ready to take Taehyun to school. It’s even more surprising when he suggests you all go together. You can’t deny the request since Taehyun is all too happy to have you both take him to school.

It’s hard to ignore the stares you’re getting as you and Seungcheol walk Taehyun into the school. He’s holding both your hands, happily swinging them and talking animatedly. Funnily enough, the young boy manages to make the nerves you feel disappear with his infectious smile. You can easily disregard the gawking and whispers after seeing how happy your boss’s son is.

Seungcheol also doesn’t seem to mind the attention you two are attracting. He acts like his impassive self even as he’s driving you back to the mansion. The entire time he’s really just thinking of the best way to ask you to live with him and his son. Even though he knows you most likely won't say no, he still feels nervous.

“Y/N.” He says as he pulls into his long driveway. “Before you go, I have a request.”

You feel nervous, but manage to plaster a smile on your face. “Yes, sir?”

Seungcheol feels as if his heart jumped up into his throat. “Well, you see... my schedule is going to change drastically these next few months. I’m going to be working earlier and coming home much later. There are also be times where I’ll have to leave the city for business for extended periods of time.”

You’re not saying anything, and he knows he has to get to the point quickly.

“I was going to request that you come live with Taehyun and I during this time. It’ll be more convenient for everyone this way. I hope you’ll consider it.”

At this moment, your boss looks so earnest that you aren’t sure how to adequately express the influx of emotions you’re suddenly feeling. It all feels like a dream to you that you begin to wonder if his words are actually real. Either way, the warmth seeping into your bones pushes you to give the handsome man in front of you an answer.

“Yes, of course I will.”

Every time you wake up and find yourself in a luxurious room, you feel like you’ve been dropped in the middle of a blissful dream. Weeks have gone by, but it still feels unreal. Unlike your expectations, your boss moved you into the main house and gave you the room right across from his. It was hard to not let your fantasizing mind wander despite knowing he had done it out of convenience and nothing else.

Your life continues to be stuck in a routine until Taehyun goes to visit his grandparents. It’s strange without him around, and unsurprisingly, you begin to miss him after the first day. Your boss insists that you can take the week off and have it for yourself, but you still have no desire to actually do anything.

Seungcheol notices your listless attitude and feels determined to change it.

“Tonight?”

“You don’t want to?”

The way Seungcheol is looking like a pouty puppy is not good for your heart. Although you really don’t feel like going to dinner with Minji and Jeonghan, you can’t say no to the adorably hot man in front of you.

“No, it’s not that, I just—” You’re flustered, but don’t want him to think you don’t want to go with him. “They still think we’re engaged, right?”

You almost regret asking because Seungcheol’s hopeful look slowly fades away and is replaced by poorly concealed dejection. “Yeah. Sorry. I still haven’t cleared things up. We don’t have to go if that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t mind.” You tell him truthfully. “I just didn’t want it to seem like I was crossing the line.”

Seungcheol has to physically restrain himself from falling to his knees and telling you that you’re the only person who’s allowed to cross the line with him. Instead he manages to smile at you like he’s not physically dying inside. “You’re not.”

As you’re walking in to what seems to be like one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, you’re glad you spend a good fifteen minutes deciding on the perfect thing to wear. Seungcheol had seemed to like it, at least. His eyes were practically sparkling when he’d seen you.

It’s hard to ignore this intense pressure you feel when you sit down at the table. Minji and Jeonghan greet you amicably like you’re one of their old friends, but you know it’s only because they think you’re engaged to Seungcheol which you most definitely are not.

Luckily, the conversation flows naturally and smoothly until Jeonghan asks a question that leaves you without a single thing to say.

“I need to know the story of how you two fell in love because this man is not one who crosses the line with his employees.”

You’d like to know the same thing yourself. Not that Seungcheol was actually in love with you or had actually done that much to push past these rules he had set, but he’d done more than you ever believed him capable of doing.

“I can’t really remember how it happened.” Seungcheol says honestly. “After a while, I found myself excited to go home and see her. Every time she smiled at me, I felt like my heart was going to explode. When she went home, I missed her even though I knew she was coming back. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t picture my life without her in it.”

You’re staring. You know you are, but you can’t help it. He sounds so sincere with those shimmering eyes of his, and you feel like your own heart is on the verge of exploding. Even though it’s all an act, you start to feel those familiar butterflies invade your stomach and chest.

“Oh my god!” Minji squeals, slapping her husband’s arm repeatedly. “How cute is that? I swear you guys make me want a love like yours.”

As Jeonghan lets out an offended noise and starts to list off all the romantic and extravagant things he’s done in order to show Minji his love, you can only laugh along and pretend like your boss’s words didn’t affect you as much as they did.

When you get back home, your heart is still unable to let go of those sweet words. Even as you walk up to your room with Seungcheol still by your side, you can’t let them go despite knowing he didn’t mean them.

Now that it’s time to say goodnight, you feel strange parting ways even though he’ll literally be in the room across from yours. “I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for inviting me.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. I was kind of worried you weren’t going to.”

You always had a good time when you were with him, not that you would dare to say that out loud.

“You really surprised me, Mr Choi. I had no idea you were such a good actor.”

You had expected him to laugh, but instead he only looks at you with a somber gaze. “I told you to call me Seungcheol.”

His voice comes out so authoritative that it makes your insides clench, and his lidded gaze makes your heart leap up into your throat. You manage to find your voice even though it comes out a bit weak. “But we’re not pretending anymore...”

His gaze sharpens. “I’ve never pretended to love you.”

His words hang in the air, and they shock you so much that they make you unconsciously give into his request from before. “Seungcheol.” You say breathlessly.

The way his name rolls off your tongue makes his heart stutter, and he briefly thinks he could listen to you say his name forever. Both your eyes are burning fiercely with this emotion that has been blatant to all those around you. Except this time you can both see it.

You’re not sure who makes the first move, but suddenly his mouth is covering yours, tongue licking along your bottom lip. The feeling is electric, and you throw all your inhibitions to the wind as you pull Seungcheol closer.

Your heart is pounding fiercely as you two stumble into his room, pulling off the the clothes you’re wearing, touching each other desperately as if you think this moment might end at any moment. It won’t though, and you become conscious of that fact as you’re laying on the softest sheets you’ve ever felt, completely naked.

Seungcheol is gazing at you with so much affection and want that it makes you feel like he plans to eat you up. He kisses along your inner thighs, gently licking and biting at your soft skin. His warm hands caress the outside of your thighs, gently digging his fingers into the soft skin.

“So pretty.”

You can feel your breath hitch in anticipation as his hands smooth down your inner thighs until he’s pressing two fingers against your aching clit. It’s dizzying the way Seungcheol rubs it in gentle circles that have you squirming and gasping in pleasure. His heated gaze flickers between your face and your dripping cunt, not wanting to miss the sight of you falling apart under him.

“Look at how wet you are, sweetheart. All for me.”

His voice has a possessive edge to it as he grinds down on the bed, hard cock rubbing uselessly against the sheets. The pleasure is minimal, and Seungcheol has to hold back a whine at the lack of relief.

“Please.” You mewl, shifting your hips up slightly.

Seungcheol keeps his dark eyes on you to make sure you’re watching him. He presses a soft kiss to your pulsing clit, and he has to groan when he sees you clench around nothing. The featherlight touch has you feeling so desperate and lightheaded that you’re unable to stop the wanton mewl that tumbles past your lips. “Seungcheol.”

Your voice is so needy and sweet that Seungcheol lets out a moan of his own before he dips his head between your thighs. The moan you let out is loud as he starts to suck and lick at your aching bud. His movements are smooth and gentle somehow, and it’s not long before you feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten.

Seungcheol is groaning and panting into your cunt as he laps up every bit of your juices. He’s eating you out like a starved man, and you love every second of it. The way he grabs your thighs and pulls your wet cunt closer to his mouth makes your head swim. One of your hands finds his hair while the other trails up your body to cup your tit. You pull and pinch at the taut nipple with a loud moan of Seungcheol’s name.

The sweet moans you’re letting out as Seungcheol spreads your slick all over your cunt makes his cock throb in anticipation. He wonders what you’ll sound like when he finally has his dick inside you. Your grip on his hair tightens when he circles his tongue on your puffy bud. The cute whines falling from your lips become louder as his he continues to fuck you with his tongue.

“So sweet.” Seungcheol groans against your dripping cunt. “Sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Your pussy clenches around his tongue so tightly that it almost feels like it could be pulled off his mouth. But your moans and mewls coax him to keep going, loving the way you’re starting to blubber incoherently. “Fuh-Fuck! Feels so good...”

The way you take an awkward pause makes Seungcheol lift his head questioningly. Your whine of protest has his leaking cock throbbing almost painfully. “What is it?”

Your face feels hot, and you’re so lost in your pleasure that it pushes you to tell him the truth. “Can... Can I call you daddy?”

Seungcheol smashes his hot face back into your cunt, cock aching painfully. “Call me whatever you want, sweetheart. I’m all yours.”

His tongue and lips are massaging your swollen clit, and all you can do is throw your head back and arch your back to grind your hot cunt harder onto his mouth. It almost feels like too much, but strangely also like not enough at the same time.

“O-Oh, fuck! Daddy!”

The loud cry you let out as you squirt all over Seungcheol’s face makes him let out a guttural moan of his own. His entire chin and mouth is covered with your sweet juices, and he continues to lap it up like you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted—which you are.

Seungcheol sits up, licking his lips until he can’t taste you anymore. His grin is devious but also so hot. He’s gently caressing your still-quivering thighs, and you feel like you can faint from how much you’re enjoying it.

Then, your eyes drift down to his huge cock. It’s possibly the biggest one you've ever seen, and also the prettiest. You lick your own lips before looking back up at at his face. The way he’s looking at you with his dark eyes has you clenching around nothing.

“You’re okay to keep going?”

God, he’s so fucking sweet that you just want to fuck him until he can’t talk. You nod desperately, opening your legs wider.

“Fuck me, daddy.”

Your mouth drops open in a quiet moan when you feel Seungcheol’s thick cock push into your cunt with a lewd, wet sound. His large hands smooth down your thighs, squeezing and caressing so tenderly that it has your pussy clenching down on his throbbing dick. He swoops down to swallow your moan, lips messily colliding with yours.

His thrusts are so deep and slow that all you can do is gasp into his mouth. The fat tip of his cock is hitting your sweet spot so sharply that you have to buck your hips up to meet his movements. Seungcheol starts to trail his lips along your jaw and neck, gently nipping and kissing at the soft skin. The lewd squelch coming from your pussy is driving him insane. His entire cock is coated with your juices, and he’s never feel better than he does now.

“Fuck, angel. Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well.” His voice is dizzying, and all you can do is cry out in pleasure.

Seungcheol leans back, just watching you writhe under him. You’re so pretty as you fuck yourself on his cock, squeezing him until it feels almost hard to move. His hand slowly trails down between your bodies, and you let out a loud moan of his name when he starts to roll your puffy clit with his long fingers.

White cream coats his entire length, leaving a milky ring at the base of his cock. You wetly gasp out his name, your nails digging into his forearms, but Seungcheol is relentless. He’s like a hungry beast as he pounds into your gushing hole and all you can do is desperately try to meet his thrusts.

“Fuck, look how you’re soaking daddy’s cock, baby. Making such a mess.” He groans, feeling your slick dripping down to his heavy balls.

You can only moan loudly for him to keep fucking you, already drunk on the feeling of his thick cock splitting you open. Seungcheol spits on your throbbing cunt, mixing in with your juices that are coating his dick. His bulbous tip is slamming against the spongy spot that has you seeing stars, forcing more slick out of you with every harsh thrust.

The coil in the pit of your stomach is close to snapping, and your mouth drops open as your thighs begin to tremble again.

“Fuh-Fuck, daddy! Love your big dick!”

His tantalizing smirk is so hot to you, and it makes you clench down on his cock and release another stream of slick. Seungcheol moans, eager to feel you cream on his cock like he’s dreamed of countless times. It just takes him angling his hips just right for his wish to come true.

Your toes curl in pleasure, a loud moan of his name tearing from your throats as a rush of wetness escapes you. Of course, Seungcheol keeps pounding you, roughly fucking you through one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Cream all over my cock.” His voice rasps, thick with lust and adoration.

A thick white ring is at the base of his cock, slowly smearing down to his heavy sack. The sight is driving Seungcheol wild, almost as wild as the sight of your glistening folds stretching around him. “Give me another one, baby. I know you can.”

“Fuck, please.” Your cry. “Fill me up with your cum, daddy!”

It’s like something inside Seungcheol snaps when he hears your pleas. In an abrupt movement, he presses your legs to your chest and starts to pound into your hot cunt. Your tight walls are sucking him in like they’re also begging to be painted with his seed.

“You want my cum, angel?” Seungcheol coos, gently caressing your soft legs as he slams his cock into your sweet spot, balls slapping against your ass with every thrust. “Want me to fill you up until you’re carrying my baby, give Taehyun a little sibling?”

“Please!” You mewl when you feel his cock throb inside you. “Want to make you a daddy again. Stuff me full of your cum!”

Your voice is breathless and a little whiny, and Seungcheol feels like you’re making him lose his mind. “Fuck, baby. I’ll give it to you then. I’ll fill you up until I’m all you can feel.”

You continue to beg him for his cum, telling him how much you need it in your cunt. The more he fucks you, the less you can form actual words. Every fantasy you’ve had feels so dull compared to the real thing. All the times you’ve gotten off to the image of him fucking you or had wet dreams about him were absolutely obscene and filthy. Somehow, the reality was much better.

A rush of euphoria overwhelms you when you feel Seungcheol spills his cum directly against your cervix. You wrap your legs around him to make sure his cum goes as deep as possible. His hot load fills you up, painting every inch of your sensitive walls as he slowly rolls his hips into you.

You yank him down for a messy kiss, so desperate and needy for him that you don’t care about anything else. “Don’t stop, daddy.”

Seungcheol fucks his cum into you, wanting to mark you from the inside out now that he has you. He can feel your mixed releases slowly seep out of you, and he carnally thinks he’s going have to fill you up again so he can be sure he’s bred you properly.

Your hot cunt is throbbing almost painfully, bordering on that delicious burn of being overstimulated. But you’re still hungry for more. So when he releases you from the press he had you in, you roll over and stick your ass out at him. You look back, satisfied when you see his dark eyes are on your sloppy pussy that’s dripping with his cum.

“Keep fucking me, daddy. Want more of your cum.”

That’s all it takes for Seungcheol to plunge back into your tight cunt, pounding into you like a savage beast. His leaking tip slams into your spongy spot repeatedly, making you cry out in absolute ecstasy. His big balls are slapping against your sensitive nub, adding to the mind-blurring pleasure you’re feeling.

“Fuck, Y/N. Your little cunt is still so fucking tight after being stretched open and bred.” Seungcheol growls, hands squeezing and slapping your ass as it bounces against his pelvis. “Creaming and dripping all over this cock, making a mess again.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he keeps fucking you with feral precision. “Fuck, daddy! So good!”

Seungcheol can feel your hot cunt clamping down on him again, and he lets out a deep moan. “Come for me again, baby. Show daddy just how good he’s making you feel.”

You can only mewl and whine, too list in the pleasure his big cock is providing you. Seungcheol’s thrusts become impossibly rougher and sharper. It feels like he’s rearranging your guts with how he’s pulling your pliant body to meet the snapping of his hips.

“Daddy!” You squeal in shock when he flips you on your side before hooking one of your legs over his shoulder and continues to fuck you mercilessly.

This new angle stretches your sore cunt more while exposing it to the cool air. You can only imagine how filthy you look down there, but Seungcheol seems to love it. All the pleasure your feelings is driving you insane, and you can only feel an insane amount of pleasure taking over your mind.

“Come inside me, daddy!” You moan wantonly, desperate to feel his hot cum fill you up again.

His soaked cock throbs inside you, eager to release inside your tight pussy. “Want me to? You that desperate to be a mommy, baby?”

When you nod desperately, he focuses on making you come again so he can give you what you both want. Seungcheol gives you one sharp thrust before he leans back slightly to watch you squirt and cover his lower half in your release. Your body gently convulses as quiet mewls pour from your mouth.

“You’re so fucking hot, sweetheart.” Seungcheol groans as he keeps fucking into your hot cunt. “Can’t get enough of you.”

He keeps slamming in and out of your wet pussy desperately, eager for his own release. Seungcheol comes with a yell of your name, spilling his hot cum deep inside you and pumping you full. His cum spurts along your sore walls until it feels like there’s no room for more of it. It seeps out around his cock, leaking down to your ass and his heavy balls.

Seungcheol doesn’t slow down. The oversensitivity you’re both feeling makes him more ravenous. He obsessed with the sight of you trembling on his cock, caught between begging for a break and pleading for more. He fucks his cum into you, desperate to make it go as deep as possible.

Wet noises seep into your foggy mind, playing dully in the background to your muddles thoughts of sex and Seungcheol. He’s successfully fucked you stupid, and you’ve never felt better than you did now. Your cunt is filled to the brim, his seed coating your every inch of your core. At some point, his thrusts slowed into thorough grinds, sticky strings of arousal and cum connecting your most intimate parts.

Seungcheol doesn’t pull out. Instead he collapses next to you and tugs you closer. He shoves his face in your collarbone, inhaling your scent as he feels raw cock throb inside you.

You hug him closer to you, gently caressing his hair. It’s a peaceful silence that fills the room, and you were close to drifting off to sleep until a thought occurs to you.

“Can I ask you something?”

Seungcheol nuzzles deeper into you, pressing a wet kiss on your soft skin. “Anything.”

“Why did Jeonghan think we were engaged in the first place?” You wonder, thinking it would be fine to ask this much since you have his cock and cum inside you.

There’s a pregnant pause until Seungcheol pulls back and looks at you with a slight pout. “That idiot wanted to set you up with his cousin. I had no other choice but to tell him you were already mine.”

You actually laugh, not believing this was the same man who told you to never overstep the boundaries he had. His pout is still there, and you lean in to kiss it right off his face. It’s languid and gentle, and leaves you feeling dizzy.

“Fine, but I still expect an actual ring.”

Seungcheol hugs you tighter, wondering if it’s too soon to show you the little black box he has in his nightstand.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo @dokwiyomie

You stuck your tongue out at him and shooed him away. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along. 

“Hey!” you cried. “Don’t take me with you! The flirting won’t have any effect on her if she thinks we’re together!” 

“Everyone thinks we’re together,” Jeno muttered and got in line behind an old man. “She checked me out when we entered the cafe, saw you arm-in-arm with me and gave you the dirtiest look to ever exist.” 

You snorted. “Liar. You might be an eye candy but you do not command such a high level of attention.”   

“I’m telling the truth!” he argued. “I would know because I was checking out the drink she placed on the counter. I was trying to figure out what the person’s order might have been to get something so incredibly delicious-looking. I saw her out of the corner of my eye.” 

“Oh.” You frowned and took a step forward when the line moved ahead. “That’s unfortunate. Should we go to another cafe and try our hand at getting something free there?” 

“How about you stop being such a cheap skate for once?”

Slapping his shoulder hard, you grumbled, “I have to bear the weight of my goddamn rent alone while you share yours with three others! I need to cut down on certain things, asshole.” 

“My offer to move in with you next semester still stands.” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m a really good housemate; ask the others.” 

“You live with boys. The disgusting things you do don’t bother them because they do them too.” 

He closed his mouth and thought about it for a second. Then, “Touché.” 

You rolled your eyes, but before you could make another snarky comment, a pleasant voice interrupted, “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” 

Jeno averted his gaze to the girl standing behind the counter and let a lazy smile take form on his lips. You raised a brow and watched in amusement. 

“Hey there. Can I get a Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino with 1 pump caramel syrup, 1 pump hazelnut syrup, and 1 pump toffee-nut syrup? Java chips too, please.” 

The girl—Lia, according to her name tag—looked surprised to see him blatantly flirting with you right beside him. Maybe he was right about every stranger assuming the two of you to be together, though you couldn’t fathom why. “O—okay.”

“What do you want, friend?” Jeno stressed the last word. Refraining to roll your eyes a second time, you said, 

“Iced coffee without milk. Could you add some sugar to the brew? I prefer my drinks to be sweet.” 

“Of course,” she said and nodded once, unfazed even after learning of Jeno’s status as an eligible bachelor. 

Snorting under your breath, you whispered to him, “Lia doesn’t give a fuck. You’re lacking.” 

He scoffed and nudged you away. “No, I’m not,” he whisper-snapped. “Get out of here. You’re killing my vibe.” 

You deadpanned and gave him a don’t-bullshit-me look but retreated to your booth nonetheless. The last thing you heard Lia ask was: “Anything else?” 

You’d only been sitting and scrolling through your phone for a few minutes before a hand slapped a receipt on the table in front of you. 

Glancing up, you inquired, “What?” 

“Read the order.” 

Dropping your gaze to the piece of paper again, you picked it up. An appreciative frown tugged at your lips as Jeno slid into his seat. “You managed to get us a free muffin and a free bagel?”

“Don’t ever question my talents again,” he ordered and leaned back. Resting his arm on the cushion behind him and placing his ankle on his knee, his attitude was nothing short of a king’s. “I won’t tolerate any further slander.” 

“Uh-huh,” you muttered, utterly unimpressed. Though you admit, a smile threatened to break out on your face and you had to bite your lip to keep it from escaping. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. All you did was stare at him, and when he realised you wouldn’t budge, he did an extremely horrible and high-pitched imitation of you that should have deserved jail. “Thank you sooooooo much, Jeno! If it weren’t for your flirting skills, I wouldn’t have anything to eat. You’re my one and only saviour, and I don’t know what I would have done without—”

“Order for Jeno!” Lia hollered. 

Said-boy flinched and clutched his heart with his hand. “What the… That was quick.” Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to you, the tips of his ears red and his face flushed. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. Venmo me the bill amount.” 

You snickered and watched him get up. However, before he could move out of earshot, you called his name. “Thank you for your service.” 

Jeno glanced at you over his shoulder and did nothing but observe you for a moment. Then, a lopsided grin took form on his lips and he mock saluted. 

“You’re welcome.” 

02. gives good boy advice

“What are you doing here?” 

Pushing past you, Jeno strolled into your living room and plopped down on your sofa. “Is that any way to greet your best friend?” 

You rolled your eyes and closed the front door. Sitting down beside him, you placed your laptop on your lap again and resumed going through your notes. “I’m being serious. Were we supposed to hang out today? Because I cannot. I still have three finals left.” 

“No, we didn’t have any plans today,” he said, peering over your shoulder to check what subject you were studying. It was Economics. Horrible memories from the previous semester resurfaced and he shuddered before continuing, “Your text said you wanted to talk about something important?” 

You paused and glanced at him. “So you came over?” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Jeno frowned. “I thought it would be better to talk in person.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Eyes widening, you grabbed his wrist and forced him back to his original position. “That’s not what I meant! I do want to talk to you but—it’s weird. I don’t feel like dealing with whatever has happened right now and I’m getting second thoughts about asking you for advice.” 

Concern seeped into Jeno’s face. “Woah, are you okay? You don’t have to explain anything right now. Just tell me one thing: do I need to beat anyone up? I’ve got a few gym buddies who are ripped.”

You huffed a laugh and placed your laptop on the coffee table. Crossing your legs, you turned to face him. Upon watching you get comfortable, your best friend rolled his shoulders back and did the same thing. 

“Before I say anything, I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me. Or call me an idiot.” 

“I won’t,” he answered immediately, though he wondered what issue warranted you to require his word. 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “YangYang asked me out a few days ago. I’ve always liked him, but not in a way that’s not platonic. I fucked up and instead of rejecting him right there, I asked him for some time to think it over and kinda led him to believe that I would say yes.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “How?” 

“I told him he’s my type,” you mumbled, cringing at the memories that came rushing back. 

“What?!” he exclaimed. “How the hell did you manage to do that?” 

“I don’t know!” you whined and buried your face in your hands. “He came up to me when I was in the library and asked if we could talk! I didn’t know he was going to drop such a bomb on me so I said yes. Then he started talking about how he’s always cherished our friendship and how he’s so glad to have me.

“I started suspecting where his train of thought was headed when he added a but to his sentence. He said he’s liked me for a while now and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. I was flabbergasted once he was done! I’ve always viewed him as a good friend and I didn’t want to just turn his heart down!”

“So you told him he was your type?” Jeno asked incredulously. “I know I promised to not call you an idiot but you’re really fucking stupid, Y/N! It’s going to be hella awkward when the group meets up!” 

You groaned and closed your eyes shut, letting yourself fall on your back. “That’s not even the worst part.” 

Jeno grabbed your wrists and hauled you back up. His face was barely a few inches away from yours when he ordered, “Explain.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I told YangYang that he was cute and my type but I wasn’t in a position to think about going out with anyone with still two weeks of finals left to get through. I thought he would drop it but he asked me if I would think about his confession after our exams and I felt terrible telling him the truth. So I said I would. Yeji called me last night and said she set me up on a blind date with this guy in her class. You know how fast word spreads here. YangYang is going to know I dangled him on strings only to go on a date with someone else!” 

“You’re going on a blind date? With whom?” 

You flicked Jeno’s forehead. “That’s not the issue!” 

“Well, I want to know!” he sputtered and slapped your hand away. 

“I don’t know! Frankly, I don’t care either. I made a bet with Yeji and I lost. Now I have to spend an evening with a random guy I don’t even want to seek a romantic relationship with.” 

Your best friend sighed in frustration. “This might be one of your biggest fuck-ups till now.”

“I know,” you said quietly and dropped your gaze to your lap in shame. 

“You’ll have to apologise to YangYang and tell him the truth. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this.” 

“I know.” 

“Hey,” Jeno said softly. You glanced at him to see he’d gotten up and was holding his out for you. “Come here.” 

You rose to your feet and let him envelop you in his comforting embrace. Burying your face in his chest, you whispered, “I never wanted to hurt YangYang. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.” 

“You won’t as long as you come clean and explain everything. Don’t insult him further by giving him more half-truths. Guys would rather know what’s the real deal than be lied to and find out from someone else. Not only is it hurtful, but it’s a huge blow to the ego.”  

Your lips curled in a small smile and you leaned back a little to look at his face. “Is this about your mom lying to you about the tooth fairy?” 

“Damn right it is,” he grumbled. “I gave an entire speech about her being my favourite person in the whole world. That’s not something you recover from easily.”

“It’s been 15 years.”

“It’ll take me another 15 to come to terms with the fact that I used to rip my loose teeth out and place them under my pillow when I needed money urgently.” 

You laughed and pulled yourself out of his arms. “I can’t believe I’m taking guy advice from you.” 

“Why?” Jeno exclaimed. “I’m a guy too! Plus, I always give good advice!” 

You giggled and plopped down on the sofa again. “I know. But you’re also Jeno. I’ve never thought of you as just a guy.” 

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” 

“How about you sit your ass down and help me study now that you’re here? I made flash cards.” 

Snatching the stack from your hand, Jeno teased, “Oh, how would you survive without me?”

“I don’t have to wonder about that shit.” You grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

He laughed. “And thank fuck for that.” 

03. hugs always make you feel safe thanks to all the beef underneath

You were going to drag Jeno to the seventh circle of Hell. 

You couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping with him when you had a huge exam the next day. You hadn’t studied shit and were one “have you prepared for tomorrow’s final?” away from a mental breakdown. 

It didn’t help that Yeji had called you in the middle of the night to clear a doubt she had from a chapter you didn’t even know had been covered.

You’d been panicking ever since and it felt like you were going to get a heart attack at any moment.  

“Doritos or Lays?” 

“Kick to the nuts or knuckles to the jaw?” 

Your best friend tore his gaze from the rack of chips and eyed you warily. “I said I’ll help you study tonight.” 

“You don’t understand, Jeno!” you exclaimed and ran a hand through your messy hair, pacing in the supermarket aisle impatiently. “I’m going to fail! Fail!”  

Groaning, Jeno grabbed your arm and forced you to face him. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, enunciating each word as he reiterated, “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to pull an all-nighter in the library, but we need to be stocked up on food before we do that.” 

You sighed painfully. It burned your eyes to just focus on anything—how the hell were you supposed to stay awake for another day and write a three-hour-long exam after that? 

“You could have come here without dragging me with you,” you muttered. “I could have been studying at home instead of wasting precious time.”

Jeno frowned. “Any more time in front of your laptop and you would have gone insane, Y/N. Your eyes are completely red.” 

“Oh, that’s not because of the screen time. I cried before you came to check on me.” 

Huffing a small laugh that bordered on exasperation, amusement and worry, Jeno threw a few packets of Doritos in the shopping cart before slinging an arm around your neck. You let him pull you against him and wrapped your arms around his waist as the two of you began walking. 

“Well, you needed to get out anyway. I don’t remember the last time I saw you leave your apartment.” 

“I stepped outside yesterday to play with the neighbour’s cat,” you said defensively. 

“Not good enough,” Jeno popped. “We’re going to go get a massage once we’re done shopping.” 

You stopped in your tracks and peeled yourself away from him. “The final is in twenty-eight hours!” you yelled, staring at him incredulously. “Are you fucking stupid?!” 

“So you have plenty of time to de-stress before you start studying again!” he chirped, paying no heed to your concerns nor the people who had heard your outburst and were giving you odd looks. “Trust me, I went for a massage before my final and I was so relaxed. It helped me to focus too.” 

“Jeno,” you uttered his name with barely contained impatience. “I don’t have time. I need to cover a lot of shit before I go and sit in the fucking examination hall.” 

“And I said I’ll help!” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated. Pushing the shopping cart forward again, he studied the shelves and continued, “You always do this, Y/N. You freak out before a test and act like the world is ending only for you to do super well.”

“Well—” you began, stumbling after him— “that’s just my coping mechanism! The more worried I am, the better I do. But I’m screwed for real this time!” 

“No,” Jeno popped, placing a 2-litre bottle of Sprite in the cart. “I’m not listening to you this time. Especially not after you stayed awake for three days straight for your midterm.” 

You sighed again. There was no arguing with your best friend. “How long is this massage of yours going to take?” 

“We’ll be back at your place in two hours max,” he reassured you, patting your head. You swatted his hand away and gave him a dirty look. “I think we have everything we need to make it through today and tomorrow.” 

“Why do we need such a big bottle of Sprite?” 

“Party at my place this weekend. There’s a discount so I’m buying in advance.”

You frowned. “Shouldn’t you be stocking up on booze?”

“The guys said I have an alcohol addiction,” Jeno said, getting in line at the billing counter. “Which is, like, totally untrue but you know I never back down from a challenge. I’m going to prove them wrong by staying sober for two weeks.”

“Sure,” you snorted. “You’ll just find lame loopholes or cheat when no one’s looking.”

A sly grin took form on Jeno’s lips. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and drawled, “I know what you do when no one’s looking.”

“Really?” You feigned a gasp. “You know I sneak over to your house and steal your food when you’re not there?”

His smile dropped immediately. “Wait, what? That’s you? Not Hyuck?”

“The food thief is me but the one stealing your sheet masks is Hyuck,” you admitted.

“He steals my masks?! The ones I buy are expensive as fuck!” Jeno exclaimed, betrayal seeping into his features. His hands fell to his side and his eyes turned distant. “I can’t believe he’s been gaslighting me into thinking I do an extra round of skincare when I’m drunk.”

You giggled and pushed the shopping cart forward once the person in front of you was done. Placing the contents on the billing counter for the cashier to scan, you revealed, “Hyuck saw me raiding your pantry when you were at the gym. He used that as leverage against me for weeks before I saw him stealing your sheet masks and was able to finally strike a deal—he turns a blind eye to my robberies and I turn a blind eye to his.”

“Why’d you team up with him?” Jeno pouted. “I thought we were best friends.”

You laughed incredulously. “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on? Not the part where Hyuck and I used your stuff without asking?”

“Well, yeah, I’m pissed you used my shit. But I guess I’m just a little more bothered that you guys teamed up,” Jeno said and shrugged, fetching his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Because, you know, coming together to make people suffer has always been our thing.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by how he was beating around the bush. “Are you saying you wanna team up with me to get back at Hyuck?”

Jeno grinned. “I’m gonna screw over that motherfucker so bad. You get off the hook, though, because you’re cute and I need your help.”

“You’re impossible.” You huffed and shook your head. Taking the bag of groceries, you said to him, “Text me my share and I’ll Venmo the money to you.”

“You could buy me an ice cream instead.”

“No,” you denied immediately. “We’re not wasting time on ice cream. Massage and then straight home so I can pick up my study material and we can leave for the library.”

Thankfully, Jeno didn’t protest. He drove you to your apartment complex and waited for you while you packed your bag. Then, the two of you were off to the massage place.

An hour later, you were done and forced to admit that the massage had indeed helped you. It felt like all the stress had left your body. Thinking about the final didn’t make you want to cry anymore and things were actually looking up now that you were rested.

You were able to retain the knowledge better and it was easier to understand the concepts. Jeno quizzed you and provided you with an endless supply of coffee throughout the night.

Right before lunch the next day, however, the panic resurfaced as you were revising your syllabus for the last time before your final at 3. You couldn’t seem to remember anything you had studied the previous night. 

You could feel another breakdown coming, but before you could hyperventilate, Jeno scooped you up in his arms.

You hadn’t even realised when he’d come back from picking up your food. One minute, you were trying to control your breath and the next, your face was buried in his hard chest.

You held onto his shirt as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and he rocked you from side to side.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “You’re gonna ace the final like you always do. You were able to answer all the quiz questions, so keep in mind that you are prepared. The pre-exam anxiety is just clouding your thoughts. Everything’s gonna come back to you when you sit down to write, alright?”

Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and bit down on your lip to keep a sob from escaping. Jeno’s presence kept acting like a tether for you. It always had.

Maybe he was right about the final. Maybe he wasn’t. But at that moment, engulfed in his warm, safe embrace, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 !

01. having to deal with a narcissistic asshole. 

It was an especially sweltering day. 

You were being baked inside-out despite wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, your hair tied in a messy high bun. Adding to your torment was your broken A/C. You’d requested your landlord to fix it several times but your efforts were to no avail. 

You would have kept bothering him incessantly and gotten the job done if you weren’t so intimidated by him already. 

Sighing, you eyed your bathroom. A cold shower sounded like an amazing idea. Jeno wasn’t supposed to come over to watch the movie for a while anyway. 

Deciding to cool yourself and get rid of the sweat sticking to your body, you entered the tiny bathroom. A high-pitched squeal left your mouth the moment you turned the shower knob and the cold water hit your skin. 

“Fuck,” you cursed and flinched, turning the knob the other way immediately. Your shitty apartment didn’t even have a valve to adjust the temperature—the water was either mildly hot or ice cold. Showering in summer was always a big problem.

“God, I don’t wanna keep doing this,” you mumbled to yourself and stepped into your room again. 

There was this… thing you’d been doing ever since you moved into this apartment. Whenever it was hot, you’d work out so you’d get more sweaty. That way, when you showered under the ice-cold water, it didn’t feel as unbearable. 

It was weird and there probably was no science behind it, but you didn’t care as long as it worked. 

So, you rolled out your yoga mat on the floor and began warming up. 

Within no time, your skin was glistening with sweat and your hair was damp. You were struggling to complete the last push-up of your final rep when someone knocked on your door, causing you to lose your focus. Your arms gave out beneath you, and you collapsed to the ground. 

“Woah, it’s boiling in here,” Jeno pointed out intelligently. “And you look like you’re one move away from dying. God, I can’t even breathe Why the fuck are you working out with the windows closed? Are you stupid?” 

Groaning, you rolled on your back and watched your best friend as he moved to the windows and threw them open. “Hey!” you protested weakly and raised a trembling arm in a pathetic attempt to stop him. “I’m trying to do something!”

Jeno raised an eyebrow at you and grabbed your hand, hauling you up effortlessly. “Oh, yeah? Pray tell.” 

You crashed into his chest and rebounded, but he tightened his hold on you. His palm hovered over your back in case you lost your balance. Steadying yourself, you glared at him and snapped, “No. You’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I won’t!” Jeno laughed, his eyes crinkling. 

“Stop, you’re doing it already!” 

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. I really do wanna know what you were doing.” 

You eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to slip up and start laughing again. But Jeno’s face remained mildly curious. Satisfied, you explained, “Well, because I was feeling hot, I decided to take a shower. The water here is very cold, though, so I decided to work out in a closed room because that would make me even hotter. If I get in the shower now, it wouldn’t feel as cold because my body temperature has already increased, and the water would be sort of neutralised.” 

A beat of silence passed. And then, “I know I said I wouldn’t make fun of you—”

“Then stop talking.”

“But did you not realise you could have mixed the hot and cold water in a bucket?” Jeno continued, clearly still talking. “Or, I don’t know, come over to my place to shower?” 

“You live with three other men.” You deadpanned. “I was not going to shower in your apartment with Jaemin, Renjun and Hyuck there. Also, I don’t have a big enough bucket, so I will be buying one today,” you added, muttering the last bit. 

Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, Y/N, I would have kicked the guys out.” 

“What makes you think they would have listened to you?” you asked amusedly.

“Okay, true,” he agreed. “They would have listened to you, though. If there’s anyone who’s bossy enough to get them out of the house on a hot Sunday afternoon, it’s you.” 

“Are you calling me bossy?” 

“Are you going to shower now?” he deflected. “You stink.”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed and slapped his shoulder hard, but laughed nonetheless. Moving away from him, you kicked him off your yoga mat and said, “You opened the windows and interrupted my workout, so I don’t feel as hot anymore. I think I’m gonna exercise a little more so I don’t die of hypothermia in the shower. You can take my laptop and choose a movie till then if you want.”

“How about I work out with you?” Jeno suggested. “We can have our gym bros moment.” 

“I don’t wanna have a gym bros moment with you.”

“Why?” he whined. 

Flicking his forehead, you said, “Because I know you’re gonna turn this into a competition, and I’m not in the mood.” 

“Scared?”

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I’m tired from all the working out I did before you came, and I’m not going against you when you have that advantage over me.” 

“That still means you’re scared. Pussy.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you got into the position for a plank. “Get out if you’re going to keep being annoying and not contribute shit to our gym bros moment.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Jeno replied smugly. You practically heard the grin in his voice when he said that. 

You closed your eyes and laboured your breathing as you felt your abdomen begin to burn almost immediately. “Had to, or I knew you’d keep irritating me.” 

Opening your lids, you turned your neck to see if he was doing the exercise with you. 

Your arms gave out the moment you saw Jeno shirtless, his bulging biceps on full display.

“Damn, you lost quicker than I thought,” he commented. 

“Why are you naked?!” you demanded in a shrill voice. 

Still in position, Jeno only glanced at you like you were out of your mind. “I was wearing a hoodie, Y/N. Did you expect me to do a plank in that furnace?” 

“Yeah!” you exclaimed. To your dismay, your eyes kept drifting to his well-defined muscles no matter how much you tried to focus on his face. 

To make things worse, Jeno noticed. And smirked. “Stop complaining if you’re enjoying the view so much. It’s okay to admit you have a hot best friend.”

Flustered, you scrambled to your feet and looked at the ceiling. God, you felt like a stupid middle schooler. It was insane how much of an effect Jeno was having on you. What was weirder was that your mind was drifting to places it had never been before. At least where your best friend was concerned. 

“Narcissus has nothing on you,” you muttered under your breath, and tried to gather your bearings. 

“Besides,” Jeno continued, having not heard you. “I do send you pictures sometimes. I don’t know why you’re acting like you’ve never seen me like this.” 

“Your phone’s camera is fucked, Jeno,” you grumbled. “The photos you texted me didn’t capture half of what’s actually there.”

No matter what you hadn’t seen, you’d felt whenever you hugged each other. It didn’t take away your surprise upon seeing the 2440p quality visual though. 

“Is that disappointment I hear?” he taunted. 

“No!” you exclaimed and finally looked at him again. At the sight of his working muscles, you muttered, “Can we stop now? You won.”

“Ah!” Jeno dragged the word as if he had just stumbled upon a revelation. “You want me to stand up so you can get a better view of my abs? Got it.” 

Your eyes widened, and before you could deny his ridiculous accusations, he was towering over you. Wiggling his eyebrows, he gestured towards himself and flexed dramatically. 

“You’re an idiot,” you huffed, unable to help yourself. 

“Yeah? Then I guess an idiot just managed to fluster the shit out of you.” Jeno smiled and ruffled your hair. Bending, he picked up his discarded hoodie and shrugged it back on. “I’ll go and get you a bathing bucket from the supermarket around the corner. Don’t freeze yourself to death.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I won’t.” 

“Also, do you remember the shirt I forgot here all those months ago after I got wet in the rain? Can you find it so I can change into it when I’m back?” He frowned and looked at himself. “I’ll eventually toast myself if I watch the movie in my hoodie.”

“Sure, but you’re stupid for wearing warm clothes in summer,” you commented.  

Jeno gave you a dirty look. “Sorry for assuming your A/C was in working condition. Besides, you always want to cuddle when we watch movies, so I figured you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing a hoodie.” 

Your cheeks warmed at that, your heart stumbling a beat. What was wrong with you? You’d always known Jeno was caring and went out of his way to do nice things for you.

Typically, you’d have felt grateful for how thoughtful he was being. 

Now, though, you felt that and… something else that you didn’t really want to acknowledge. 

“Whatever,” you said instead, trying to sound dismissive. Pushing him out of your room, you continued, “I’ll find it. Just hurry up with the bucket.” 

A few minutes after Jeno was gone, a notification popped up on your phone. 

[jeno]: clearer picture that i clicked on jaemin’s phone for your viewing pleasure :”) 

You blinked in confusion and opened the photo that was attached below, your eyes widening the moment you saw it. It was a zoomed-in gym mirror selfie of Jeno wearing nothing but sweatpants and shoes, his muscular abdomen on full display. 

[you]: did you crop jaemin? 

[jeno]: ???? [jeno]: wdym……. [you]: the photo’s dimensions are weird [jeno]: oh [jeno]: what the fuck [you]: LMFAOOO [jeno]: STOP I DIDN’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT HIM INSTEAD OF ME I’VE GOT A BETTER BODY ANYWAY AND I’M GONNA BUY A NEW PHONE SO I CAN SEND YOU CLEARER PICS WITHOUT HAVING TO CROP THAT FUCKER OUT 

You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling too wide. Right before you were about to type a reply, you received another text from your best friend. 

[jeno]: so are you gonna tell me what you think [you]: FINE you’re hot. [you]: happy?  [jeno]: euphoric

Finally laughing out loud, you shook your head. 

Narcissus had nothing on Jeno indeed.

02. female friends ask you to be their wingwoman 

You didn’t think you’d ever accompanied Jeno to a party without having someone ask you to set them up with him. 

“Please,” Yoo Jimin begged for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Yeji said he was single!” 

Sighing, you mentally cursed Yeji for inviting Jimin to Jeno’s party. “He is, but I’m not setting you up with him.” 

“Why?” Jimin demanded rather aggressively, making you wonder what it would take for her to quit nagging you. “Do you like him or something?” 

It took a concerning amount of effort for you to refrain from rolling your eyes. “I do not.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” 

“I don’t know, Jimin!” you finally burst and gestured at your surroundings. “Maybe I’m not too keen on helping you out because you followed me into the washroom and cornered me! Maybe I feel used because you’ve never shown much interest in me even though I’ve tried striking up a conversation with you several times before!”  

Jimin’s features softened, and she looked away. “You’re right,” she muttered, guilt and shame evident in her voice. “I’m sorry for jumping on you like that.” 

You immediately felt bad for snapping at her. Pursing your lips, you tried to cheer her up. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need me to set you up with him anyway. I know we haven’t hung out much, but based on what I’ve heard about you from Yeji, you’re smart, funny and social. You have no reason to be nervous while approaching Jeno.” 

For some reason, you regretted encouraging Jimin to pursue your best friend. A gaping hole formed in your heart, and you wished she would go for someone else instead. 

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jimin smiled gratefully. “I know I’ve been a shitty person, but could you give me another chance? I’d really like to get to know you more.” 

And just like that, the hollowness in your chest was gone. You gave her a genuine smile of your own and said, “I gotta pee right now, but does lunch tomorrow work for you?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot where we were.” Rubbing the nape of her neck sheepishly, she replied, “Lunch works. I’ll text you tonight so we can talk about it.” 

The two of you exchanged your goodbyes, and then she was gone. A few minutes later, you exited the washroom as well and headed back to the party. 

“I missed you,” a voice slurred in your ear. Arms circled around your waist, and a face buried itself into the crook of your neck. 

You laughed. “You failed the challenge, Jeno.” 

“Where were you?” he demanded in an almost whiny tone. “It’s your fault! I wouldn’t have lost at beer pong if you’d been playing with me.” 

Patting Jeno’s back in consolation, you replied, “I’m sorry you have zero self-control and commit to things you know you won’t be able to do.” 

Jeno peeled himself away from you and pouted. “You’re mean.”

“Thanks. Let’s get wasted together,” you said, but then added upon looking at his already tipsy condition, “Or I can get wasted, and your ass can keep me company.”  

“Don’t you think one of us should be sober?” Jeno asked as you pulled him along.

“I’m not gonna hold back from drinking!” you exclaimed. “Let me remind you that you were supposed to be the sober one today and make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I’m blaming you if I get naked in the yard.” 

Thanks to the music that was gradually getting louder as you approached the main party area, you didn’t hear your best friend’s response. You tightened your grip on his hand when the crowd thickened. Wading your way through the dancing throng, you finally reached the table lined with alcohol and food. 

You chose a bottle of Romanov and popped it open, drinking straight from it. You’d barely taken a few gulps when Jeno snatched it from you and put it to his own mouth. 

Throwing him a dirty look, you picked up another bottle for yourself. “Do you wanna dance?”

“I wanna throw up.” 

“Suit yourself.” You shrugged and aimed for the dance floor. A smile crept on your face upon seeing Jaemin; you were not in the mood to dance alone. 

“Y/N!” he hollered when he noticed you. Stumbling towards you, he pulled you in a quick embrace. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

“Finals!” you answered. Jaemin nodded in understanding and ran a hand through his hair, taking a swig from his beer. “Do you wanna dance?” 

You grinned. “You know I do.” 

The next few hours were a complete blur. The bottle in your hand was replaced by more one after the other, and when Jaemin deemed you’d had enough to drink, he gave you a red solo cup filled with water instead. 

It felt good to finally unwind after the horrible few weeks you’d had. There was no academic stress weighing down on you anymore, and though you were low on sleep, you didn’t want to stop partying. 

You just wished you and Jeno had gotten wasted together. While you were having fun with Jaemin, partying with Jeno was a different experience entirely. 

Right as you were about to take a sip from your cup, you felt an arm being thrown around your neck. The touch was so familiar that you recognised who it was immediately. 

“I missed you!” you exclaimed. Jeno looked down at you with a grin on his face, a pair of black party glasses sitting on his nose. His hair was damp and fell over his forehead. Maybe it was the liquor in your system, but you could have sworn he never looked better. “Let’s dance.”

“Dance?” Jeno laughed. “Haven’t you been doing that for the past two hours? Don’t your feet hurt?” 

Frowning, you glanced at your legs. “They do!” you exclaimed, and looked back at him again, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes, you mumbled, “But I still want to dance.”

“How about we go on the roof instead? The stars look pretty tonight,” your best friend suggested, trying his best not to laugh at you. “I didn’t drink at all after you left me. I’m sober enough to take care of you now.” 

Your eyes lit up at that. “Wow, that’s such a good idea! You’re so smart, Jeno. I love you.”  

Jeno’s lips finally twitched up in a smile. “I love you too, silly.” 

Plucking the solo cup out of your hand, he offered you an arm. You looped yours through it with a soft thank you and leaned on him as he led you upstairs. 

The two of you entered his dark room, and Jeno shut the door behind him. Only when the loud music was muffled did you realise your head was throbbing.  

He unhooked your arms gently and grabbed a warm blanket off his bed. Throwing open his window, he jumped out on the flat roof and looked at you expectantly. 

You staggered behind Jeno and took the hand he was holding out for you. His other hand hovered over your waist as you climbed on the sill. 

Thanks to the alcohol in your system, your balance was non-existent, and your legs turned to jelly the moment they made contact with the roof. Fortunately, your best friend was there to catch you.

You bumped into Jeno’s chest instead of falling to the ground. He wrapped his arms around you and steadied you, laughing a little at your antics. 

“God, how much did you drink?” you heard him wonder to himself. You mumbled an incoherent response and leaned against the outside wall of his room, watching him lay the spread on the floor. 

The two of you usually climbed the ladder that led to the slanting roof at the very top of the house, but you reckoned the boy in front of you didn’t want to risk taking you up there when you were so wasted. 

Jeno sat down on the blanket once he was done and peeked at you over his shoulder, patting the space beside him. “Come on.” 

Pushing yourself off the siding, you stumbled to him, tripping over your feet a bit. You were able to keep your balance, though, and a moment later, you found yourself lying on the blanket next to him.

Your shoulders brushed against each other, the warmth from his body seeping into you. It was summer, but the night air was still chilly, especially now that you were on the roof. You were thankful for the protection Jeno offered against the mild cold. 

The music was blaring once again now that you were outside, and there were no barriers to deafen it, but the volume barely bothered you. Your eyes were on the stars, trying to identify the constellations.

“I see Orion right there,” Jeno said, pointing at the sky. You followed his finger, and sure enough, there it was. “And there’s Ursa Minor.” He moved his hand after noting that you had recognised Orion. 

“I don’t see it,” you muttered, blinking heavily to clear your sight. 

“Can you see Polaris?” he asked, glancing at you for a moment. 

You raised your hand and pointed it at a random star that was nowhere near the one Jeno was referring to. “There.” 

Jeno snorted. “You could spot Orion, but you can’t identify the brightest star in the sky?” Without waiting for a response, your best friend grabbed your arm and directed it to the right star. “That is Polaris.” 

“Woah.” You gaped and lowered your arm. “It’s so shiny.” 

Jeno laughed again upon hearing the child-like wonder in your voice. You stargazed often and always challenged each other to see who could identify the most constellations in a minute. He knew the night sky was familiar to you, but seeing you like this reminded Jeno of the first time he brought you to his roof and introduced you to his favourite hobby. 

“Do you want it?” he teased. 

Eyes widening, you turned your neck to look at him, your faces so close you could count his lashes. “Really?” 

“Really,” he said and pinched your cheek, unable to help himself. “I’ll get it for you.” 

A wide smile immediately broke across your lips, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you!” you squealed. 

Jeno chuckled, a little surprised that you had practically climbed on top of him, and part of him was caged under you now. He didn’t mind the sudden intimacy. It had always been his love language; any sort of physical contact with you—be it comparing hand sizes or carrying you on his back—warmed his heart. 

Patting your head, he asked, “You want me to show you the rest of Ursa Minor?” 

“Yes.” You nodded into the crook of his neck and peeled yourself away from him, but your head still rested where his shoulder met his arm. 

Brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on your face, he averted his gaze to the sky. “Polaris is the tail of The Little Dipper. Now we move towards the left. See the star that’s above the brightest? That’s Delta. Epsilon is above Delta too, but the distance between them is not as much as the distance between the first two. Zeta is below—” 

You tuned Jeno out. He was still showing you the stars that made up the constellations, far too invested to notice that you were no longer paying attention to what he was saying and were looking at something much more beautiful instead. 

You’d always known your best friend was attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice his striking features—they were sharp with a certain softness around the edges. His face always stood out in crowds and demanded people’s undivided attention. 

Rightfully so, you thought to yourself as you admired his perfectly straight nose and the shape of his soft lips, diverting your gaze to his eyes. You’d always thought they were his best features. They were warm and open and felt like home. It deserves to be appreciated. 

“Pherka, Eta, Kochab and Zeta form a—”

“You’re prettier.”

Jeno glanced at you, your faces mere inches away and those beautiful eyes peering into yours with slight confusion. “What?”

“You said the stars looked pretty tonight,” you whispered. “I think you’re prettier.” You paused for a moment, as if rethinking your words. Then, “I think you’re the prettiest person in the world.”

A fond smile crept on your best friend’s face, and maybe it was because your ear was in the vicinity of his heart, but you could have sworn you heard it thumping loudly against his ribcage. Lightly bumping his forehead against yours, Jeno whispered back, 

“I think you’re the prettiest person in the world too.” 

03. it’s very easy to fall for them, especially when they’re always so sweet and caring

The first thing you felt upon regaining your consciousness was pain. 

Your skull was splitting apart, the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the closed curtains rendering you blind. Nausea was beginning to set in, but your body was so weak that you weren’t sure you could make it to the toilet in time. 

You should have never drunk so much. Not only had you not taken any proper rest after working yourself to exhaustion during your finals, but had also danced to the point you couldn’t move your legs. Heck, you couldn’t even remember much of the party. You recalled leaving Jeno behind to party with Jaemin, but everything after that was a huge blank slate. 

The toilet was far away, but you could try reaching the dustbin near the study table instead of just throwing up on the carpet. Groaning, you tried to push yourself up. When that didn’t work, you put all strength in your abdomen and threw yourself off the bed. 

A shockwave of agony passing through your body rendered you immobile on the ground. You moaned in pain and curled in on yourself, covering your mouth with a hand upon tasting bile on your tongue. 

The door was thrown open, and a worried Jeno gaped at you lying on his room’s hard floor motionlessly. “What the fuck?” 

“Dustbin,” you croaked with much difficulty, tears springing to your eyes. They hurt so much you wanted to rip them out. 

Your best friend moved into action immediately. “I kept the dustbin right beside the bed in case you got sick, you blind twat truck. Along with painkillers and water on the table.”  

You found it in yourself to glare at the boy, but he ignored you. Placing the waste basket in front of you, he helped you up. You gripped the rim as he gathered your hair in his hand and held it up to avoid it getting in the way of your vomit. 

Right before you emptied the toxins in your body, you managed to say to him, “How capable do I look to you right now, you stupid toe-licking grinch man?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes and rubbed your back with his other hand, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once your heaving stopped, you took the tissue he was holding out for you and wiped your mouth. You felt much better after throwing up but you were still so tired. 

“Come on.”

You swatted Jeno’s hand away and rested your back on his bed, tucking your legs under your chin. “Too much effort,” you muttered and closed your eyes, willing the headache to go away.

“I was going to carry you to the bed, Y/N,” he said in exasperation. 

“I just need a moment,” you whispered almost incoherently, wishing he would stop asking you questions when you had no energy to answer. “A moment and an Aspirin.” 

There was some shuffling, and then you felt a hand brushing your matted hair out of your face. “Here.”

You peeled your lids open to see Jeno crouched in front of you with water and the painkiller you had asked for. Taking it from his hand, you popped it into your mouth and gulped down some water. 

For a few moments, you tried to regulate your breathing and calm yourself down. Jeno could tell you were gathering the willpower and strength to climb back on his bed. He wanted to help, but you clearly didn’t want it. So, he just watched you silently struggle.

He should have been with you last night; he hated that he wasn’t when he had promised to be the sober half. As far as Jeno was concerned, Jaemin was going to get an earful about keeping tabs on how much his friends drank. Never in the two years of friendship had he seen you with such a huge hangover. 

“Fuck,” he heard you curse under your breath. You moaned in pain as you pushed yourself up on trembling arms and fell on his mattress. Sighing, Jeno tucked you in and pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“Sleep well,” he said and made his way to the door. “I’ll wake you up for lunch. Renjun is making grilled sandwiches.” 

Your eyes flew open again. Fuck. You were supposed to meet Jimin. 

“Jeno, wait,” you blurted, and he stopped in his tracks. “I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I don’t think I can make it. Can you cover for me?” 

Your best friend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Which friend?” 

“Jimin.” 

“I thought she ghosted you.” He frowned. “Now you’re meeting her for lunch?” 

“No, you are meeting her for lunch. I don’t wanna be rude and cancel at the last minute. What if she already left?”

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Well, what if she turned down other offers because of the plans we made?” 

“She left an hour ago with Mark after passing out on the couch in Hyuck’s room last night. I doubt she’s had the time to turn down any other offers. Actually, I think she’ll be glad you cancelled. She looked pretty hungover when she left.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” you whined, wincing when the throbbing in your head responded to the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. “I’m only asking you for a small favour.” 

“I’m not being difficult,” Jeno defended himself and took a few steps towards you. “I’m trying to tell you that you may be overthinking this. Let me send her a text from your phone asking for a reschedule, and we can have some homemade lunch with the guys.” 

Sighing heavily, you averted your gaze from his and stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna blow this. I think she’s really cool and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m good friends with everyone in our social circle except her. It’s awkward.” 

Jeno’s eyes softened at that. “Y/N, you’re not blowing anything. Rescheduling lunch because you both partied till you collapsed is not going to take away any points. Trust me.” 

Your best friend was right. You were overthinking this, but you didn’t exactly blame yourself. All your efforts to befriend Jimin had been futile till now. You didn’t want to do anything that could mess up the friendship that had begun to bloom last night. 

“Fine,” you finally relented. “Shoot her a text from my phone. I think it’s in my clothes bag—” you paused, your eyes widening. Lifting Jeno’s duvet in panic, you looked down at yourself. “Who changed my clothes?” 

“Ningning did!” Jeno answered quickly, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. He couldn’t understand why he was freaking out—nothing happened. 

You exhaled in relief, trying to get rid of the alien tingling feeling spreading throughout your body. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, my phone’s in my clothes bag.” 

Jeno busied himself, rummaging through your backpack that was on his bedside table. What you didn’t know, however, was that it was just a front for him to calm himself down. “Got it.” He waved the phone at you. “What’s your pin?”

“Your birthday.”

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, and a seed of warmth sprouted in his chest. A dizzying sense of affection for you washed over him, drenching him in happiness from head to toe. “Really?” 

You nodded and closed your eyes. Turning on your side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position, you buried yourself deeper under his sheets. Yawning, you mumbled, “Day-Month-Year with leading zeros.” 

“My password is your birthday too,” he said quietly after sending Jimin the text. “A lot of them are. It’s the easiest set of numbers to remember.”

You didn’t respond. Jeno didn’t mind. He knew you’d already fallen asleep. Keeping your phone on the table, he smiled sadly and stared at your resting figure in longing. “Everything about you is so easy to remember.”

Jeno closed the door behind him as he left, none the wiser about the fact that you were still awake and had heard everything he’d said, your heart beating so fast that you thought it was going to leap out of your chest. 

Your best friend left, completely unaware of the fact that you were now entertaining the possibility of being in love with him. 

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 !

01. the green-eyed monster you resent makes an appearance more than you’d like

You genuinely couldn’t believe your friend group and their seemingly never-ending social battery. 

One would think that after a long night of partying, a person would stay at home the next day and take some much-needed rest. Your friends, however, thought it was a good idea to meet up for dinner and decide what to do over the weekend. 

You didn’t bother to remind them of the wonderful invention that was group chats. 

“We should drive up to the beach,” Mark suggested, flipping through the menu. “Summer just started, so I don’t think there will be a lot of people.” 

All of you were seated in a round booth at the back of a diner Chenle said he frequented. You weren’t going to lie; you could see why. The setting was very homey, and the cushioning of the sofa was very cosy—you were almost sure you were going to fall asleep even before your food arrived. 

Ningning, who was sitting beside Mark, peeked over his shoulder to see what was listed. Minjeong said, “That’s stupid. The start of summer is exactly when beaches get overcrowded. Most don’t get to visit the ocean during the year, so they make a beeline for the beach as soon as break begins.”  

“True,” you heard Jeno say. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the cushion behind you. You resisted the urge to lean in. Taking a sip of his water, he continued, “Besides, we’re already going to Jeju Island for a week next month. I don’t think we should drive three hours to go to the beach right now.” 

“What about karaoke?” Jimin piped up. She was sitting on the other side of Minjeong, opposite from Chenle, who was on the other side of the table. 

“We don’t need an entire weekend for just karaoke,” Chenle pointed out. “We could do it whenever we want.”

“Well, what about—” 

“Hey, can I take your order?” a female voice that was a combination of annoyed, upbeat, friendly and polite interrupted Minjeong. The girl looked a little flustered at being cut off, but she cleared her throat and mumbled a small yeah, just give us a minute.

The waitress did not move, so all of you awkwardly picked up the menu cards and began flipping through them. 

“The usual for me, Yuna,” Chenle said, smiling up at her. To diffuse the sudden tension created in the air, he began making small talk with her as she waited. 

“What are you eating?” Jeno asked. He was closer to you now, his eyes scanning the contents of the menu card in your hand over your shoulder. 

You shrugged. “I don’t think I’m eating anything. I’m not very hungry.” 

Jeno’s eyebrows creased, and he glanced at your face in worry. “You haven’t had anything since lunch. At least drink something.” 

“It’s fine.” You dismissed him with a wave of your hand and pushed the card in his direction so he could order whatever he wanted. “I won’t be able to finish anything by myself and I don’t wanna waste food.” 

“How about we share?” he insisted. “You eat however much you want, and I’ll finish the rest. Don’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.” 

An internal battle began. While Jeno’s suggestion was sensible, you knew he didn’t like to share his food with anyone. You remembered a time when he had refused to go on a second date with a girl because she kept nibbling on his meal. You didn’t want him to do something he hated just for your sake. 

“Really, it’s fine,” you repeated. “You go ahead and—”

“Hey, Y/N,” Yeji called, making you divert your attention to her. “You wanna share a triple-decker chicken sandwich? Chenle said this place is famous all over town for that dish.” 

You had to admit, a triple-decker chicken sandwich did sound tasty. But you’d just turned down Jeno, so you didn’t wanna say yes to Yeji. Shaking your head, you once again said, “I’m not hungry.”

“Why aren’t you hungry?” Mark frowned, overhearing your conversation. The rest of your friend group looked at you in concern. Ningning asked, “Are you okay?” 

You groaned. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to everyone why you didn’t have an appetite. “I’m okay. I’m just not hungry because I had a lot for lunch.”

“That’s a lie,” Jeno commented unhelpfully, and you smacked his shoulder hard in retaliation. He winced, rubbing the area of attack. “Hey!” 

“Shut up!” you exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, you said to everyone with as little annoyance in your voice as you could, “Please just order what you want. I still feel a little weird after last night’s party, and I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” Before anyone could reply, you added, “I’m going to the restroom. Be right back.” 

Yeji looked a little stunned, but she got up from her seat and let you leave the booth when you requested her to move. Locking yourself in one of the stalls, you clutched your stomach and curled in on yourself, closing your eyes. 

Your period cramps were especially painful this time. Maybe it was because of last night’s exertion, but your cycle was early too. Your stomach was in too many knots for you to even think about eating anything. 

The washroom’s door opened, and you heard soft footsteps trudging towards you. Knocking on the only occupied stall’s door, a female voice asked, “Is everything okay, Y/N?” 

“Yeah,” you croaked, feeling tears burning your eyes. “Everything’s fine, Jimin. I just have period cramps, that’s all.” 

“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “I have painkillers. Do you want them?” 

Exhaling through your mouth, you wiped your moist cheeks and stepped out of the stall. “Sure.”

Jimin smiled at you reassuringly and handed you a wet wipe, looping her arm through yours. “Don’t worry. I got you.”

Your heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. You’d wanted to connect with her for so long, and it finally felt like you were getting somewhere this time. Maybe you were being overemotional due to your fluctuating hormones, but you wanted to pull her into a hug.

“Oh, also,” you started a little sheepishly, “I wanted to apologise in person about cancelling on you earlier today. I drank and partied more than I should have. I thought about sending Jeno to cover for me, but he pointed out that it would have been awkward for you to see him when you were expecting me.”

“Woah, wait!” she gaped and took a step away from you. The shock on her face surprised you for a moment, but the feeling didn’t last long. “You’re kidding me! You should have kept insisting, Y/N! A lunch date would have been the perfect way for us to get closer!”

“I don’t think he would have considered the lunch a date because he was just a stand-in for me,” you said awkwardly, and threw the used wipe in the dustbin. 

Jimin waved you away as you walked out of the restroom and back to your booth. “I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an official date, but it would have given me the opportunity to ask him out on a real one.”

“Right.”  

You hated the way you sounded. You hated the way your stomach churned, and your mood dropped. You hated that someone was pursuing Jeno. You hated that you were being forced to play Cupid, all thanks to your strong refusal to admit your feelings and the friendship you wanted to build with the girl next to you. 

“Oh, my God!” Jimin exclaimed, too immersed in her own fantasies to have noticed the change in your tone and demeanour. “I can make up for the missed opportunity by sitting next to him right now! You wouldn’t mind, would you?” 

You did mind. The idea of her making a move on your best friend made you want to dig a hole and cry. God, you were being so pathetic. This was completely unlike you, and you despised the way you were acting. You had to pull yourself together immediately. 

Besides, it wasn’t like you were ever going to explore these newfound feelings you had for Jeno. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship. Forcing an encouraging smile on your face, you said, “Um, sure! That’s a really good idea.”

“Took you guys long enough,” Chenle commented once you returned. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you have any other places to be?” 

“I mean I was worried.” He rolled his eyes. “We ordered food while you were gone. You sure you don’t want anything, Y/N?” 

“Yep,” you said, popping the last letter. “Scoot over and make space for us.” 

Yeji got up again and stood to the side as Jimin, and you slid into the booth. “The two of you better not make me get up again. I’m not budging even if you need to take a big dump.” 

“Sorry,” you muttered, smiling at her sheepishly. Making yourself comfortable, you grabbed your glass of water and dipped a straw in it, idly sipping the liquid. 

Jeno’s gaze caught yours from behind Jimin’s back. He pointed at her with a frown on his face and mouthed, “Why is she sitting beside me?” 

You waved him away and turned your attention to the rest of your friends. “Please tell me you guys finally decided what we’re doing over the weekend.”

“We did,” Mark piped up. “We’re thinking of going to an amusement park and then a water park.”

Jimin frowned. “Won’t those places be crowded as well?” 

“We just need to accept that most destinations will be. Everyone’s on break, so it doesn’t matter where we go. There will be people everywhere.” 

You agreed with Minjeong. “Amusement park it is. Can we hit the bars at night?”

“It won’t be much of a trip if we don’t.” Ningning grinned. “You sure you want to go clubbing so soon though? You were completely wasted when Jeno called me to his room and made me change your clothes last night.”

Mark snickered. “Are you scared of changing your own girlfriend’s clothes, Jeno?”  

Silence. No one spoke. 

NingNing was staring at Mark incredulously, and Yeji seemed to be suffering through an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment. Chenle pretended to flip through the menu while Minjeong grabbed her phone and scrolled through the apps on her home screen in an attempt to look busy. 

Jimin whirled to face you so fast that you wondered how her neck hadn’t snapped. You couldn’t even dare to look at Jeno to see what reaction Mark’s words had evoked out of him. 

Laughing awkwardly, you asked, “Who said we’re dating?” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Mark scoffed in disbelief. “You guys are so bad at keeping your relationship private. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you.” 

“Is that true?” Jeno asked, but no one present at the table dared to meet his gaze. “Do all of you think there’s something going on between Y/N and me?” 

“I mean….” Chenle began, dragging the word out. “You both are very close. People who claim to be just friends don’t cross the boundaries you two step all over everyday. But we’ve never seen you kiss either, so we’re not sure if you’re dating secretly or…” 

“You guys are crazy,” you interrupted. “Stop speculating about our relationship. It’s weird.” Turning to face a very betrayed-looking Jimin, you enunciated, “Jeno and I are just friends. That’s all there is to us.”

“Yeah,” Jeno added, glancing at you. “Y/N and I will only ever be friends. There’s no way I would date her. I don’t find her attractive in a romantic way.” 

Feeling a knot form in your heart and anger bubble in the pit of your stomach, you snapped, “Same. Jeno’s not even my type. I wouldn’t get together with him if we were the only people left on Earth.” 

Your friends exchanged knowing glances, and poor Jimin, who was stuck sitting between Jeno and you, made an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Okay, guys. We get it.” 

“I’m not sure you do,” Jeno hissed, staring all your friends down. “I can see your damn faces. The only way you’re going to believe I’m not into Y/N is if I prove it to you by going out with someone else.” 

Minjeong began, “That’s not—” 

“No, he’s right,” you fumed. Under the table, your hand curled into a fist. “The only way you guys are going to get this stupid image of Jeno and me being together romantically is if we date other people.” 

“The two of you are overreacting!” Yeji exclaimed. “There’s no need to get so defensive! We were wrong for assuming, and Mark was an idiot for opening his fat mouth. I’m sure you both would have told us if there was something. We’re all sorry.” 

There was a chorus of agreement on the table. Everyone genuinely seemed to be apologetic—except Mark, who was glaring at Yeji and looked mad for being called an idiot. His eyes met yours, and a sheepish smile took form on his lips. 

You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, but your heart was still in knots. There was a certain hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You felt sick and anxious. 

Did Jeno really have to say all those hurtful things just to convince your friends about your platonic relationship? He didn’t need to sound so offended and make your mutual denial a competition. 

Sure, you were the one who had declared there would never be anything more than just friendship between Jeno and you, but he didn’t have to cross the line by saying you weren’t appealing to him. 

Besides, you’d said what you’d said for Jimin. You didn’t actually mean the words that left your mouth. Considering the emotions you’d been feeling recently, it would be a lie to claim you didn’t hope for a different sort of future with Jeno. 

It didn’t matter anyway. A romantic relationship between the two of you wasn’t practical. Your best friend had never so much as hinted at wanting something more. 

In a twisted way, you were glad he said those wounding things. You needed to be pulled back to reality.

“Hey, Jeno,” you heard Jimin say once the food arrived and everyone started eating. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch and watch a movie sometime this week?” 

Bile rose to your throat. You hoped to God he would say no. You didn’t care if you were being a shitty person; you didn’t think you could take any more of this torture. 

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Your eyes were trained on your glass of water, but you didn’t need to look at him to know he was surprised. As much as you hated eavesdroppers, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to learn where this conversation was going. 

“I am.” Jimin chuckled nervously.

Jeno didn’t reply immediately. The rest of your friends were engaged in their own discussions with the people sitting next to them. The table wasn’t silent by any means, but the only things you could hear were Jimin waiting for his answer with bated breath and the pounding of your heart in your chest. 

Then, “I would be honoured.”

Oh, you were most definitely going to throw up.

02. you fall for them

You hadn’t talked to Jeno ever since dinner with your group.

He hadn’t reached out to you, and you hadn’t tried to contact him either. You’d received a text from Jimin the next day about the specifics of her date with Jeno. They were supposed to meet up for lunch at a restaurant near your college campus and then go out to watch some sappy rom-com. 

He didn’t even care for rom-coms. You’d begged him to watch one with you countless times and he’d always turned you down. Part of you wondered if he knew Jimin was updating you about everything and he was purposely pulling this shit to get back at you. 

But you dismissed the notion immediately. No way were you so dense and self-centred. Maybe Jeno genuinely was into Jimin. 

Your phone began ringing, and you rolled over on your bed, blindly searching for it on your bedside table. God, you hated being woken up in the middle of your afternoon naps. It almost always guaranteed a headache. 

“Hello,” you said groggily, your throat raw and dry. “Who is this?” 

“Oh! Did I wake you up?” It was Jimin. She sounded upbeat. Your heart sank. “I’m so sorry!” 

Pushing yourself up, you rubbed the gunk out of your eyes and made your way to the window. The darkness made you bump into the corner of your study table, and you bit down on your lip to keep a yelp from escaping. Hobbling, you threw the curtains open and said, “No worries. My alarm was just about to ring. How was the date?” 

Laughter bubbled from the other end of the phone line. “It was cool! He is a really good guy. No wonder everyone is head over heels for him. He opened the door for me, didn’t let me spend any money even though I asked him out, was an excellent listener, called me pretty and beautiful, and drove me back home. Oh, God, and the eye-contact? It made him a hundred times sexier.” 

Seems legit, you thought to yourself. Jeno had always been a gentleman. The other girls you’d set him up with had pretty much given you the same feedback. Part of you felt relieved that this date hadn’t been any different than the others he’d been on. 

Except the rom-com part, of course. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why he would agree to something he hated. 

“Ah, I’m happy for you, Jimin!” you exclaimed, trying your best to mean what you said. Your own words tasted like ash on your tongue. “Are you guys going on a second date?” 

“I’m not sure, to be honest. He said he had a great time with me, but when I tried to ask him out again, he just hugged me. That took me by surprise, and I kinda just forgot.” She laughed. “I know good dates usually end with a kiss, but the fact that he didn’t go for one didn’t bother me.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. Sitting on the ledge of your window, you asked, “That sounds nice. Do you think you’ll try asking him again?”

The last thing you expected her to say was no. And the way she said it… she didn’t sound sad or upset or disappointed. She sounded like herself. She sounded the way one would when they talked about the weather. 

It confused you. Didn’t Jimin just say the date was really good? She sounded so happy and delighted. Why was she backing out now?

“I—I don’t get it,” you sputtered. “I thought you were into him. I thought you had a great time today. Why aren’t you going to ask him out again? Did something else happen—?”

“Calm down.” She chuckled. “Nothing happened.” 

“Huh? Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing happened,” she repeated. “That’s the problem. I like Jeno. He’s attractive, funny and caring. He’s everything a girl would want in a guy. But there was no spark between us. I had a great time with him, but hanging out today didn’t feel any different than usual. It felt like I was hanging out with a good friend, not with a potential romantic interest.

“I was looking forward to exploring what I felt for him. Turns out, it was just physical attraction. It also turns out that he wasn’t into me at all. If it wasn’t obvious the night we all went out for dinner, it was glaringly clear today. I think part of the reason he said yes was that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” she added. “The other—major—part was that he’s in love with someone else, and I would rather die than be a homewrecker.”    

“Oh,” you said again. You didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she mean Jeno is in love with someone else? You didn’t dare focus on the last part of what she’d said. You didn’t dare hope that the person she was referring to was you. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else easily. You’re a delight. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”

Jimin laughed again. “If you weren’t in love with Jeno too, Y/N, I would have thought you were into me.” 

It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Forcing yourself to laugh, you croaked, “Whatever do you mean?” 

Saying that was a mistake. You should not have asked her to elaborate. She was going to make you come to terms with your feelings, and all the time and effort you’d spent denying and trying to get rid of them was going to go down the drain. 

Before she could speak, you made a static sound with your mouth. Then, you pretended that the connection was really bad. “Wha—hear—you. Try—back. Hell—?” 

You hung up before Jimin could call you out on your bullshit. A moment later, you saw a text pop up. 

[jimin]: that was soooo unsubtle  [y/n]: idk what ur talking ab!!!!!!! [jimin]: sure [jimin]: also a tiny heads up [jimin]: i told jeno to stop being a pussy and an asshole so he’s on his way 2 ur place now [y/n]: WHAT THE FUCK [jimin]: i’m going 2 pretend u said thank u [jimin]: don’t forget ab our dinner date tmrw [jimin]: have fun <3 

It was crazy how the bell rang almost immediately after you read the last text. You wondered if the timing was planned and that Jimin had told Jeno to wait till she gave him the go-ahead. 

You trudged to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.

“Hey,” Jeno mumbled with a small smile. His hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it several times. “Can I come in?” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nodded and moved out of the way to make space for him to step inside. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and stood awkwardly. 

“You can sit,” you said, feeling the corners of your lips curl up in amusement. 

He sighed and wove his fingers through his strands again. “Not before I apologise for my behaviour. I was completely out of line that day,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.” 

“So you don’t think I’m unattractive?” 

You meant to tease him, but the next thing you knew, he was standing toe-to-toe with you, a desperate and guilt-ridden expression adorning his face. “God, no. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I only said that because… because I knew it would hurt you.” 

Jeno was standing too close to you. You could barely breathe, much less think. But that didn’t stop you from asking, “Why would you want to hurt me?” 

He didn’t answer for what felt like an entire minute. He only kept staring at you, an internal battle raging inside him. Then, he let loose a breath of frustration and moved away. He refused to look at you, and your patience kept slipping with each moment that passed. 

Right when you thought it would snap, Jeno spoke up, “It hurt me when you said you and I would only ever be friends. I know how stupid it sounds, but it really did. For years, I’d been pining after you and hoping that maybe we could be something more in the future. I felt like an idiot when I realised wouldn’t ever view me in that light. 

“You got so defensive when Chenle said all our friends were suspicious of us being in a secret relationship. I couldn’t help but wonder if you felt disgusted at the idea of us being together. I got angry at myself for being naive and said those horrible things without even realising.” 

You didn’t know what to say. This was the second time you’d been rendered speechless in the past thirty minutes. It was one revelation after the other; you were having a hard time keeping up.

“You—you like me?” you stuttered. 

Jeno laughed humourlessly and looked you dead in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

You took a step back. “No, no, no, no—”

“Yes,” he pressed. “I’m sorry that I do. I know this changes everything, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just—”

“Why would you go out with Jimin if you… if you love me?” you whispered. 

“Partly to see your reaction and partly in an attempt to get over you,” he admitted. “It didn’t work. I just—I just couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was with her. I felt so guilty for saying such terrible things because I couldn’t deal with my emotions and come to terms with reality. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me back—”

“That’s not what I’m apologising for,” you interrupted and walked towards him until your abdomens were touching. “I’m apologising for not seeing it sooner. I’m apologising for encouraging Jimin to ask you out even though it killed me. I’m apologising for denying my feelings time and time again. I’m apologising for saying we would only ever be friends. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be platonic.” 

Jeno was barely breathing. “What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I love you too, Lee Jeno,” you mumbled and stood on your toes, cupping cheeks with your palms. “I’m saying I want you to kiss me.” 

The words didn’t register immediately, but his lips were on yours the moment they did. 

Jeno’s arm snaked around your waist, and he pulled you closer. His hand grabbed your neck from behind, and he tilted his neck to the side, deepening the kiss. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. All you could feel was him. Your nerve-endings were short-circuiting, and pure adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You didn’t think you’d ever been as satisfied and euphoric as you were right now.

Jeno’s lips slotted with yours perfectly. You smiled to yourself upon realising he tasted like chocolates. Your best friend always ate a piece before any event he deemed to be very important. He claimed they gave him good luck. 

Letting go of one of his cheeks, you grabbed the round collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth harder against his. The nights you’d spent wondering how kissing him would feel and then hating yourself immediately for having such thoughts amounted to this. 

You didn’t want to hold back. 

But you had to ask him a question. It didn’t matter how stupid or ridiculous it was; you wanted to know the answer. So, you broke the kiss and inquired with your body still tangled with his, “Why the hell did you agree to watch a rom-com with Jimin?” 

“Really?” he asked exasperatedly. “You wanna talk Jimin while we’re making out?” 

“I wanna know why you watched a rom-com with her when I’ve been begging you to watch one with me for so long,” you corrected. 

Jeno was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to tell you. You raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he started, blowing out a breath. “She told me you set her up with me, and it pissed me off even more. I knew she’d tell you all about our date, so I suggested we watch a rom-com. I knew you’d be riled up once you realised.” 

You snorted. Who knew? You weren’t actually being a self-centred narcissist when you suspected the same. “You’re an idiot. I was already riled up you were going out with her.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he teased. “Why’d you encourage her in the first place then?”

“Honestly, at first, I thought I could use you to further my friendship with her,” you admitted. Jeno scoffed in disbelief. “Yeah, I know. That was kinda shitty of me. But when I realised I was falling for you, I pushed her to pursue you in an attempt to convince myself I was not into you. That obviously backfired and did the very opposite. I was horribly miserable. I wanted to shoot myself everytime I heard her gush about you.” 

He smirked. “She gushed about me?” 

“Oh, get over yourself.” You shoved his shoulder playfully. “How’d you end up here after your date? Jimin texted me that you were coming.”

“Tough, but I’ll try.” He laughed. “She was probably able to tell how disinterested I was. After the date when I dropped her home and hugged her instead of kissing her, she just confronted me and asked if I was in love with you. Then told me to not bother answering because it was obvious. She said she didn’t want to get in the middle of us and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t come here to make amends immediately.” 

You grinned. “Oh, the things I would have done to witness that scene.” 

“It was scary.” Jeno frowned. “She hit my shoulder really hard when I said I was in love with you and called me an idiot for going out with her. I think she was angry at herself too for being oblivious to our situationship. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.” 

“Jimin actually said she had a great time with you. She told me it was nice.”

“Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. 

You placed a chaste kiss on Jeno’s mouth. “Hmm, I wonder how good the best date you’ve ever been on would be then.” 

He chased your lips and kissed you back deeply. Caressing your cheekbone with stars twinkling in his eyes, Jeno said, “I guess we’ll know when I take you out.”

“No way, are you officially asking me out on a date, Lee Jeno?” you asked, and let out a fake gasp. 

“Damn right I am,” he declared. “I don’t want the amusement park trip with our friends to be our first day out as a couple. Do you wanna grab some food tomorrow afternoon? We can go to the trampoline park before that.” 

You smiled softly. “That sounds wonderful. But,” you added. “No more flirting with restaurant staff for free food, or I’ll go ballistic on you.” 

Jeno laughed, and you thought it was the most beuatiful sound you had ever heard. His chest rumbled with the force of it, his eyes creasing to look like small crescent moons. Slipping his hand into yours, he squeezed once. 

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.” 

ANOTHER AUTHOR’S NOTE | THANK U FOR READING TILL THE END WHAT ??? loads of hugs and kisses :’)) also i know i said this before but posting after a rlly long time has lowkey made me anxious LOLL i think i could have done better with the fic esp the end bc it’s a little rushed. honestly speaking i am ready to move on to my next wip and i don’t wanna spend more time rewriting this one :(( i still love this piece though and i would definitely love to hear your thoughts amigos!! stay healthy and hydrated <33

thank you to mira for coming in clutch and helping me out with the plot when i was stuck + giving me her honest opinion! thank you to dori too for reading parts of this fic and giving me her opinion as well! i love you both :D

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“Y/N…” Mark’s voice is slightly strained as he grips your waist tighter, head falling back onto the couch. You’ve been sitting in his lap, with your thighs on either side of him, for at least half an hour now — first just hugging him, then kissing his jaw as he played with your hair, and now moving onto something more fun. Namely wriggling around in his lap under the disguise of having to readjust yourself. 

“Mmm?” you hum absentmindedly, letting your lips fan over his neck. He shivers and you smile to yourself at the goosebumps forming on his skin. 

He opens his mouth to say something, but you kiss him instead, swallowing up the moan he lets out when you not-so-subtly roll your hips against his. You and him have gone this far multiple times – made out and rubbed against each other until your panties are ruined and his cock is painfully hard – but you’ve never done anything past that. But with the way he’s growing hard from underneath you, you think that maybe today is the day. 

You pull away from the kiss to bury your face in his neck and palm him through his jeans. He groans at that, hips bucking up involuntarily. The sound causes more wetness to pool between your legs and you rub against him – at least until you hear him say your name again, this time more seriously. You look up at his face, his lip pulled between his teeth and the slight panic in his eyes. 

“Donghyuck and Renjun…” he finally says, tapping his fingers against your thigh. “They’re coming home soon.”

You tilt your head to the side, brows furrowing. “I know.” 

“No, like, seriously, they’ll be here soon.” 

Mark’s shaky voice catches you off guard, because he seems genuinely stressed. His cheeks are flushed, and he’s gripping your thighs like his life depends on it. A big contrast to the way his hard cock is poking your thigh. 

“You said they’re coming eight,” you pout down on him, fiddling with the drawstrings of his sweatpants. “It’s only seven.” 

“Yeah, but like, sometimes they come earlier and I don’t want them to see us like this, ’cause, you know–”

“Alright,” You raise an eyebrow at the way he swallows hard, eyes looking everywhere but at you, but listen to him nevertheless. “Okay.”

He sighs in what sounds like relief as you climb off his lap and plop onto the couch by his side. It’s weird, how he’s acting, you think, but if he’s really just scared of being caught then you suppose it won’t kill you to wait a little longer to have him. You’ve already waited four months, after all. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks, a spark of guilt in his eyes. You nod, cuddling into his side with a soft smile. 

“Sure.”

Still, his bobbing thigh makes you wonder whether there’s something more to this whole thing than he lets on. 

—

The second time you try fucking Mark Lee is a week later. 

It’s not like you’re obsessed or anything, but the makeout sessions that keep getting longer and longer are driving you absolutely insane, and so it’s only natural that when you come home to find him sprawled out on the couch, looking so irresistible, you really want him to fuck you. Even if he’s all sweaty from the dance practice he attended earlier. Or maybe especially if he’s sweaty from that practice. 

“Hey,” you greet him upon entering the living room. “Did you just get back?”

He looks up at you, corners of his eyes creasing as he grins. His eyes seem a little tired, but they light up in excitement nevertheless. “Yeah, they let me off earlier today.”

“That’s nice,” you say. “You always come home so tired. You should rest more.”

“And you should come cuddle me, I’m cold.” 

You smile at his grabby hands, taking off your coat to go join him on the couch. His hair is littered with sweat, so there’s no way he’s actually cold, but you enjoy the feeling of his arms wrapping around your middle as he pulls you close, so you let it slide. Especially since you’ve been dying to see him all day, too. 

He nuzzles into your neck when you thread your fingers through his hair, a soft sigh meeting the skin of your throat as he leans into your touch. You like being this close to him — one of his thighs between your legs and his hands resting on your waist, playing with the hem of your shirt. Unsure of whether or not to slip under the fabric and touch your bare skin. You wish he’d do that, but he’s shy — always has been — and so you wait patiently, gently massaging his scalp with your fingers. 

“I missed you today,” he sighs as you tug at his hair softly. “I always miss you.” 

“I missed you, too, Markie.” 

He smiles and presses his lips against your neck in a featherlight kiss that forms goosebumps on your skin. You don’t pull away, and so he kisses you again — this time fully resting his mouth on your skin, tongue swiping over it and teeth scraping against it. It makes your eyes flutter shut, head instinctively leaning back to grant him better access. 

He takes his time and you let him, feeling pressure build up in your lower stomach as you wonder whether this will result in him dragging you to the bedroom. You hope it will, and so does the throb forming between your legs. 

Mark leaves a trail of kisses down your neck, hands slowly making their way under your shirt, causing you to smile. Subconsciously, you lift your hips off the couch so your clothed pussy can rub against the slowly growing bulge in his pants, and a small whine escapes past your lips. Mark groans at that, the sound turning into a soft moan when you tug at his hair. Breathing heavily, he ruts against you, fingers digging into the flesh on your hips. 

“Mark…” you moan into his ear. 

The way he bites down on your shoulder to muffle the noises coming out of his mouth makes you smile hazily. This is it, you think, there’s no way he’ll walk away without getting his dick wet now. You know him well enough to understand just from the way he’s breathing onto your neck that he’s about to completely lose control. 

And you want him to. So badly that you rub your soaked panties over his thigh to get some friction and urge him back into action. 

And it works for a while — his moans mixed with yours as he grabs at your thighs and rubs against you frantically. You meet him halfway, strengthening the groans leaving his mouth. It feels good, so good you swear you could’ve cum from just this, but you want him – all of him – and so you halt your needy movements so you can bring your hands to the waistband of his pants. 

But before you can even do anything, Mark’s hand grabs your wrist, making you look up in surprise. 

“You know what, I actually have an assignment I need to finish.”

You blink once, then twice, and a couple more times until you register his words. “What?

“I just remembered, sorry.” He looks to the left, nibbling on his bottom lip. You can tell he’s lying, but why? You furrow your brows, but Mark still looks somewhere else than your face, like he’s afraid to meet your gaze. “It’s due tomorrow, so I really should finish it.”

He finally looks at you, hesitation in his eyes as he untangles himself from you and rises up from his seat. The bulge in his pants is still more than obvious, hair a mess, and eyes wide. Still, he runs a hand through the locks to fix them a little and clears his throat, as if to signalize he’s about to leave. 

“But what about…” you trail off, eyes moving down to look at his dick poking through his sweats and then trailing back up again. “Don’t you want me to help you out?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just… Take care of it myself.”

“Are you sure?” 

He gulps, nodding, and you let him leave with a small smile sent his way, even though you’re confused and aroused to no end. 

Once he’s gone to his room, you fall back onto the couch, sighing. None of this makes any sense. He’s obviously horny, and the two of you have been dating for months already, showing intimacy in so many ways. So why is he so hesitant when it comes to fucking you? 

Is he insecure? No way. You’ve showered with him and there’s absolutely nothing about him he should be ashamed of. If anything, he should be dying to show off ever since you told him you think his cock is big. 

It’s obvious he wants this just as much as you do, so what the fuck is going on? 

—

Twenty three hours and seventeen minutes later, you decide it’s time to finally get to the bottom of this. 

It’s Saturday, and only a few hours ago Renjun and Hyuck went on some sort of trip together, announcing they’ll be away the whole weekend. Which grants you an amazing opportunity to talk to Mark. (And preferably fuck him, too, but that comes second. That’s what you repeat in your head as you walk into his room, finding him sprawled out on the bed. Looking really fuckable, you think, but that’s just a simple observation). 

“Renjun and Hyuck just left,” you tell him, closing the door behind you as you walk over to the bed. 

He grins, putting his arm around you and pulling you close. “Finally.”

You have to say you agree — though you’re not so sure whether the reasons for your contentments are the same. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter when you lie your head on Mark’s shoulder and he puts on one of those romance movies you once told him you wanted to watch. He smells like he’s fresh out the shower and his arms are warm around your waist, fingers circling the skin on your hip slowly. 

The movie is good, and soon, you forget all about your plans of talking to Mark. To your defense, he is really distracting. With his soft laugh that resonates through the room whenever something funny comes up on the screen, and his intoxicating scent, it’s easy to lose all sense of reality. You cuddle into his side and your fingers tap against his thigh — first to the tune of the movie, later just because you like feeling his skin under your fingertips. 

It’s not before your fingers mindlessly squeeze his thigh when you jump at some point during the movie that Mark gives a sign of discomfort, groaning quietly.

“You okay?” you ask immediately, worried.

He nods. “Yeah, just a little stale from practice.” 

You frown. When is this boy not overworked? Biting your lip, you rise from your spot on the bed, earning a confused look from Mark. You don’t say anything, just climb to sit on your knees behind him and place your hands on his shoulders. He turns his head to look at you, lips adorably pressed out in a pout. 

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you a massage. Just relax.”

He is, in fact, very tense, so it takes you some time to figure out where to press to relieve him of the tension, but once you do, he leans into your touch, groaning in satisfaction. You smile a little to yourself when he turns his head back to the TV, letting you do yours. It’s not like you’re a professional or anything, but the soft groans and whines he lets out when you dig your fingers into his muscles make you believe you might actually be pretty good at this. 

“Does it feel good?” 

Mark hums in agreement, and in return, you press a little harder on his shoulders. He groans and throws his head back to rest on your chest, something turning in your stomach when you feel his weight on your tits. Suddenly you’re very aware of him and his presence, and maybe it translates to your movements, because it has Mark turning around to face you. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” you tell him truthfully. “You look really handsome today.”

“Only today?”

You roll your eyes as he pulls you into his lap, pouting. 

“Always,” you admit finally, giving him a short kiss.

Or, at least it’s supposed to be a short kiss, but Mark decides to grab your cheeks and pull you flush against him. His lips are soft against your own, his warm tongue slipping inside your mouth when you open it to let out a small moan. He smiles into the kiss, hands caressing your waist, and so do you.

You try your best to ignore the slowly growing bulge in his pants when you reposition yourself in his lap, you really do, but when you move your leg just a little and he moans into your mouth, you can’t. And so you pull away from the kiss, heart thumping in your chest at the sight of his lips swollen and cheeks warm. 

“You know, I was thinking,” you draw small circles on his shoulder. “Since Hyuck and Renjun are away and we have the apartment to ourselves…”

You trail off, a little embarrassed, and watch his face intently. His gaze drops down to your body resting on his — first your legs, bare where your shorts have slid up, then up to your cleavage where it rests for a little longer than usual. 

He clears his throat. “Uh, actually, I have this paper–”

It doesn’t sound convincing at all, and so you cut him off.

“Mark.” you say and he responds with a small yeah? that has you sighing. “We need to talk about this.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but decides against it, instead resting his head against the headboard on his bed, looking up at you in defeat. 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” 

You wonder whether you should get off his lap, but his hands don’t move from their spot on your waist, so you stay. Your fingers rest on his shoulders, just barely grazing his neck as you look at him.

“Why are you acting like this?” you ask, a little hesitantly. Maybe you shouldn’t be bringing this up? But from the way Mark’s urging you to continue talking with his gaze, you decide it’s better to just spit it out. “Do you not… Do you not wanna sleep with me?”

His expression changes momentarily — brows furrowing and mouth falling open. 

“What? No! I mean, yes,” he groans at the way he’s stumbling over his words, one of his hands leaving your skin so he can rub the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, I want to fuck you.”

Your breath catches in your throat at his words. It’s not like Mark’s a saint or anything, but you’ve never heard him saying something like that so directly. Something stirs up in your stomach and stays there no matter how much you wish it’d disappear. And you do wish it would dissappear because right now you’re supposed to be having a serious conversation with Mark, not getting turned on by him saying he wants to fuck you. 

“Jesus christ, that sounded so bad,” Mark groans and you giggle. 

“I don’t think it did,” you tell him, purposefully leaving out the part about his words having an embarrassingly strong effect on you. “But if that’s not the problem, then what is?” 

“It’s just like,” he sighs, looking for the right words, and his hands squeeze your waist a little tighter. 

You wish he wouldn’t be so focused on what he’s about to say, because in that concentration, he pays no attention to his own fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt, lifting it up an inch or two so he can touch your bare skin. Which again is making you lose focus. 

Thankfully, he brings you back to reality five seconds later as he clears his throat, looking to the side. 

“I just… You’re so perfect and hot and I’m scared that if I do fuck you, I’m gonna like, fucking lose it. And just screw everything up.”

You stay silent for a moment, gazing down on him as his fingers move higher up your shirt. You’re not sure whether he’s doing it on purpose or not, but it’s distracting nevertheless. 

“So what you’re saying is…” you furrow your brows. “You’re scared that you’ll shoot your load too quickly?”

“When you put it like that, it sounds embarrassing,” Mark groans, burying his head in the crook of your neck. His breath tickles your skin and you giggle softly, leaning into his touch. “But yes.”

You breathe out in something resembling relief. Thank god this is it. You were so worried something serious was going on, all the while he was stressing about cumming too fast. Why he’d even think you care about that, you don’t know. It’s so ridiculous you start laughing, earning yourself a slap on the thigh by Mark. 

“What are you laughing at?”

“You,” you poke his reddening cheeks. “You seriously think I care about how long you last?”

He thinks for a while, then tries, “Yeah?”

You shake your head with a smile. 

“Well, I don’t. It’s kind of mean to deprive me of seeing your dick just because of that, don’t you think?” 

You watch as heat flows to Mark’s cheeks, his hands grabbing your thighs tightly. “I-it is?”

“Mhm,” you lean forward to press your lips against his neck ever so slightly. “Very mean.” 

Mark feels himself twitch in his pants and he hopes to god you don’t feel it from where you’re seated in his lap. Maybe it’s a stupid wish, because he doubts anything can go unnoticed when two people are at such a close proximity, but he decides to ignore it, instead pulling you even closer, hands pushing your shorts up to reveal your upper thighs. He bites his lip, squeezing your legs so you rub against him when he rolls his hips into yours. 

“I guess I’ll have to make it up to you, then,” his voice is hoarse in your ear and you clench around nothing, walls fluttering in excitement. 

You nod eagerly and he smiles, hands finding their way to your waist again so he can pull your shirt over your head. The rest of your clothes quickly follow, leaving you completely naked in his lap, goosebumps forming on your skin as his eyes rake over your body. 

He tongues his cheek subconsciously, hands sliding up your body painfully slowly — first running over your thighs, then hips and stomach, until they reach your tits. You hold back a moan when he runs his thumb over your nipple before pinching it softly, watching as your legs rub together at the sensation. Desperately, you push your chest out against his hand, letting out a satisfied sigh when he wraps his hand around your breast, squeezing it. 

“Fuck, Mark,” you say as one of his hands push down on your hips, pressing your leaking pussy down on his clothed cock. “Please do something.”

“So needy,” he muses, and you whimper when he grabs your waist and lies you down on the bed so your back is pressed against the mattress. 

He’s still fully clothed, you realize, but you don’t really get to do anything about it before he ruts his hips against you, his sweats rubbing against your cunt and spreading your arousal across it. You hear him groan softly, and then you feel his finger graze your clit ever so slightly, making your whole body jolt in surprise. He chuckles, spreading your legs and watching as your breath turns uneven when he rubs your clit and runs his fingers through your folds leisurely. 

“So fucking wet,” he clicks his tongue. “Is it all for me, baby?”

“Yes, just for you,” you breathe out, bucking your hips up into his hand. “Please touch me, Markie, please.”

He groans, and has to close his eyes not to cum right then and there, from the sight of you sprawled out on the bed, begging him for more. This is going to be a lot harder than he thought. But he’s got something to prove, and to do that, he can’t exactly cum in his pants. So he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again.

You buck your hips again, and this time, he listens to you, starting to rub his finger against your clit. He smiles, using his other hands to play with your tits, squeezing them as he pleases. You feel so vulnerable, so on display, but the way he’s playing with you only serves to intensify the throb between your legs. A small whimper leaves your mouth when he moves his fingers from your clit to slip inside of you with ease, your walls stretching around them. 

“Feel nice?” he asks, and you only nod, spreading your legs wider. 

He pushes his fingers in and out of you like it’s something he’s done a million times before, lewd sounds of his movements filling the room. You can only try to muffle your moans and fail miserably, letting whimpers of his name leave your mouth. 

Mark must like that, because not even a moment later, he’s leaning down between your legs and using the hands that were fondling with your tits to hold you down against the mattress. You almost feel like crying when his tongue touches your clit, his digits rubbing all the right places inside of you. He sucks and licks your pussy, fingers curling to hit that one spot that makes you grab at his hair and tug. 

Your reaction only makes him groan into your pussy, the vibrations making your legs try to close around his head. But he keeps them wide open, sucking on your clit, repeatedly hitting the right spots. 

“Yeah? You like this?” he pulls away to ask you after a particularly loud moan of his name. 

“Y-yes,” you whimper out, tears pricking your eyes at how he’s no longer touching you. “Don’t stop, Markie, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he mumbles into your cunt before diving back in, finding the spot that makes your toes curl immediately. 

The tension in your lower stomach is building up, the whimpers that leave your lips sounding more and more broken. Mark senses you’re close from the way your hips stutter in their way to buck up into his face, and adds a third finger to fill you up. You clench around him as the knot inside you comes untied, your legs shaking as he licks and sucks on your sensitive clit, fucking you through the orgasm with his fingers deep in your pussy.

You can only whimper as you come down from your high, tears streaming down your cheeks when Mark licks off all your arousal. Smile on his face and cock poking through his sweats, he sits up and takes you into his arms, letting you climb onto his lap again.

“Was it good, baby?” he asks you when you’re seated, like he doesn’t see the way your thighs are shaking. 

“Yes,” you tell him and press your lips against his. 

He kisses you back right away, pulling you flush against his chest. You can taste yourself on his tongue, but you don’t really mind, instead focusing on keeping him as close as possible. Your hips roll into his on their own, your cunt throbbing in need for him again the moment you feel his hard cock pressed against you. He sighs into your mouth at the slight relief, and you slide your hand down to palm him through his sweats.

You’re both content with that for a while — making out with your hand pressing against his cock. But after a while, when the throb between your legs is starting to become unbearable, you pull away from the kiss to untie his sweatpants and slide them down along with his boxers to pool down by his ankles. He exhales at that, cock standing proudly against his stomach when you wrap your hand around it. 

“Can I…” you look at him, squeezing your fingers around him so hips buck upwards and he lets out a soft moan. “Can I ride you?”

His mouth falls slightly open, but he closes it again as fast as he can gather his thoughts. It’s admittedly a little hard with your hand wrapped around his cock, but he manages to look a little less flustered and gather the courage to press the palm of his hand to your clit. 

“Baby wants to ride my cock?”

You can only manage a mewl and a nod of your head, but thankfully Mark doesn’t ask for a verbal response. He lifts your hips a little, positioning the tip of his cock at your entrance and you whine at him when he spends too much time coating his dick with your slick. He only smiles apologetically at you, squeezing your hip as he pushes you down on his cock.

He’s only halfway in when you grip his shoulders, whimpering.

“You okay?” he asks worriedly, stopping to check on you.

“S-so big…”

You feel him twitch from where he’s halfway buried in your cunt, and it makes your walls flutter around him. It’s good, but you need more, and so you wiggle your hips, try to readjust yourself to fit all of him inside. Mark’s patient with you, hands busy fiddling with your tits, fingertips ghosting over your nipples and eyelids heavy. 

You have to bite your lip to muffle the cry threatening to escape your mouth when you finally sink down on his cock fully. He’s big — so big it makes your head spin, pussy clenching around him and your nails digging into his arms. 

“Fuck,” Mark groans, leaning his head against the headboard. “I’m so in love with you, you know that?”

“I’m in love with you, too,” you giggle, but your laughter turns into a moan when Mark thrusts up into your cunt without warning.

He looks at you expectantly and so you tighten your grip on his shoulders, lifting your hips before sinking down on him again. It feels so good, and so you do it again and again, until you’re bouncing on his cock with your tits in his face. He starts pressing kisses against your nipples, and it only spurs you on further, your thighs lifting you off of him then letting you slam your hips against his. 

You feel so full, fucking yourself on his cock like this, and soon all you can do is push your chest out against his lips and moan his name. God, you’re glad Renjun and Donghyuck aren’t here, because you wouldn’t have been able to keep quiet even if you wanted with the way Mark’s dick is hitting all the right spots with every bounce of your hips. 

But even if you love how it feels, your legs were already shaking after your first orgasm, and now that you feel your second one approaching, the burn in your thighs is much more apparent. You try your best, you really do, but no matter how hungry you are for his cock, you’re forced to slow down when your thighs threaten to give out from underneath you. 

“Come on, you wanted to ride me, right?” Mark coos at your whines, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Where did your eagerness go, baby?”

“But I’m tired, Markie,” you whimper, feeling so upset you almost want to cry. “Please. Need your cock.” 

And who is he to deny you what you want when you’re asking so nicely? 

You outright scream his name when he grabs your hips and rolls them into his own. He starts off slow, but even when he’s careful, his cock reaches places deep inside you and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head from the fullness. Mark doesn’t seem to mind, though, his dick twitching inside of you when he makes the mistake of looking at your fucked out expression. Proving to you that he can last long is being pushed further and further to the back of his mind, though, because with how well you’re taking him, he doesn’t think he can hold up much longer. 

“Markie,” your head falls to the crook of his neck when he starts thrusting into you from below, your cries muffled by his skin. “Feels so good, Markie.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

His thrusts are deep and calculated, and you swear you can feel him in your stomach at some point. It’s so good you wish he’d never stop, but the coil in your stomach is tightening, a sense of rapture approaching, and so all you can do is cling onto him for dear life as he fucks you on his cock. He’s close too, twitching inside of you while he brings his fingers to rub sloppy circles on your puffy clit. 

Desperate to reach your high, you start bouncing up and down again, your slick forming a ring of white around the base of his cock as your cunt clenches around him repeatedly. 

You cum first, with his fingers on your clit and his lips sucking marks into your neck, your whole body shaking as he fucks you through it only reach his high a few seconds later. He groans against your throat, a soft whine of your name, and then he’s shooting his cum deep inside of you as his hands tremble around your waist.

It takes a moment for both of you to regain your steady breathing, and when you do, Mark pulls out of you and helps you lie down on the mattress. You pull him in for a hug, which he reciprocates, wrapping his arms around you, allowing you to bathe in his scent. 

For a while, you just lie there quietly, wrapped up in each other’s limbs. It’s comfortable, just like it always is with Mark. 

“You were wrong,” you say finally, breaking the silence. 

He furrows his brows, looking down on you. “Wrong about what?”

“About not lasting long enough,” you poke his chest. “I’m pretty sure it was long enough if my whole body is sore.”

You see Mark’s cheeks tint pink for a moment before he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, hiding. 

“Aw, are you shy?” you laugh and he pulls away to send you a stern look. 

“Shut up, Y/N.”

And then he pulls you in for a kiss. 

After the awkward encounter back at the cafe, you went back to work and tried to pretend it never happened. Rubbing your eye with the palm of your hand, you don’t get a good look at whoever joined in the elevator when it stopped midway to your designated floor. Too caught up in the oddly comforting feeling of rubbing the stress and sleepiness from your eye, you lean back with both eyes closed. “Didn’t get enough sleep?” You recognize the voice, humming as you let out a yawn.

“Why didn’t you take a nap on break?” You roll your head toward the voice, opening your eyes to see Jaehyun giving you a knowing look. “I had lunch away from the office and I’m honestly starting to regret it.” The ding of the elevator signals you to get off on your floor. Jaehyun follows behind, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What happened, did you try some weird new restaurant again because if you spend the next 30 minutes away from the desk again I’m gonna shred your computer.”

You furrow your brows, whipping around on your heels to point a finger into his chest. “It’s not my fault, okay, last time I tried that cheap fusion food truck and it gave me food poisoning.” Shuttering, you try to block out the memory of the last time you went away from the office for lunch which cost you a bill from the hospital and toiletries to keep you at bay. “Plus this wasn’t anything that happened with the food, this guy..I don’t know it was weird and I just wanna forget about it.”

“Suit yourself, but don’t be calling for me when your stomach starts to churn.” He says, walking away from you to enter the main office area. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you slip between the crowded area till you get to your own desk. Plopping down in your seat, your eyes immediately look at the brightly colored sticky note left by your senior editor. Snatching it from the base of your computer, you groan while crumbling it in your hand. “Someone’s sour today I see.”

“Maybe if Kim Jungwoo didn’t leave cryptic messages at my desk when I’m not there instead of telling me when I’m actually in the office then I wouldn’t want to bash his pretty face in.” Karina smiles at you, leaning against your desk as she watches you throw away the note into a bin. “Do I even want to know what that was all about?” You roll your head towards her, shaking your head before refocusing on the emails you missed. “Gotcha, speaking of pretty faces, Jae told me you met a boy at lunch.”

“How did he tell you that when we literally just got in?”

“He has a big mouth for such a quiet man.” Nodding along, you start to click through emails, sorting through which ones are important and which ones can be pushed back till you get home. “So.”

“So?” Karina smiled at you, leaning towards you as she wiggled her finger. “Don’t play dumb y/n, tell me about the boy!” Rolling your eyes, you shrug her off and go back to what you were doing before. “Uh uh, don’t do that, tell me pretty please? I mean when’s the last time you had a boy to talk about since your douchebag of an ex.” Fighting back a frown, Karina notices how stiff you get and gently rubs your arm. “I’m sorry, I know it’s still fresh.”

With a heavy sigh, you turn your chair towards her. “That’s the thing, it’s been two years and I still can’t seem to get over him or even mention him.” She continues rubbing your arm, knowing all too well how messy your breakup with your ex was. “I really can’t say much about him though, the guy I mean.” She nods, letting you know she’s listening. “He’s cute, I’ll give him that, kinda baby faced in a mature way if that makes sense and he seems almost childlike with the guys he was with but in the moment he was more desperate than anything.”

She smiles, playing with the ends of your hair. “Sounds like you like him.” You give her a twisted look, shaking your head at the thoughts you could only imagine that were starting to play out in her head. “No, uh uh no ma’am, don’t give me that look I literally just met him.” She props herself up on your desk, swinging her legs as her smile widens at your sudden defensiveness on the subject. “Karina, I promise you, he literally came up to me and pretended like we were dating! What kind of guy does that?”

Raising her eyebrows, she leans back on her palms. “Only the desperate boys who wanna slip your skirt d-“ The sound of a loud clearing of the throat caught both of your attentions. Looking at who was standing in the entryway to your small desk space, you see a very unimpressed Taeyong. “I’m not gonna ask what you two are giggling about,” he throws his hands up, wiggling his fingers with one while the other shakes around a manila envelope in the other, “But this is for you sent directly from Doyoung.” With a fake smile, you take the envelope that he ever so kindly handed over, snickering as he left off back to whatever he had found before.

“I hate to see what you did in your past life, karma is a bitch to you.” When your face deadpans, Karina throws her head back in a fit of laughter. You slap at her legs with the envelope, whining as she finds humor in your torture. “I don’t get why Doyoung always sends me the most complicated stuff, like I’m not the only person on the floor.” Putting emphasis on his name, you make a mental note to not get such a nice gift like you do each year for Christmas exchange. And if you’re wondering, yes you do get him a separate gift every year because you simply can. I mean, who wouldn’t, it’s Doyoung.

“Maybe because you’re one of the best editors on the floor.” Smiling, you lean back in your chair while tossing the envelope beside your keyboard. “You always know what to say to me.” Hopping off your desk, Karina flattens out the front of her pants before placing both hands on her hips. “Yeah yeah, work your magic and I’ll see you later.” You wave her off, facing your laptop with no intent on working on the pile of stuff in front of you.

After many excruciating hours sitting in your chair, you read the time and quickly gather your things to head home. You catch a cab to your tiny apartment, dragging yourself up the stairs in hopes you’ll actually make it to your bed before the mental exhaustion takes its toll. Reaching the top of the stairs, you see the door across from yours wide open. “I guess they found someone to fill the room.” You mutter to yourself, slinging your purse over your arm that doesn’t seem to stop sliding down.

As you’re putting your keys into your door, you hear scuffling behind you. “Oh hey neighbor.” Turning around, you meet eyes with the person you literally thought you’d never see again. “Oh, it’s you.” Haechan seemed taken aback, offended to his core when he gasped as he held his chest. “Nice to see you again, too.” If this was your final straw, your 13th reason, you’d probably let the world swallow you hole right on your doorstep and not bat an eye, but knowing Jungwoo he’d still find a way to drag you back to work in the morning.

“Sorry, I’m just too tired and honestly don’t even want to have this conversation.”

“What conversation are we not having?” You can’t tell if he’s genuinely confused and doesn’t recognize you, which only hurts a little, or if he’s just that pretty and that dumb. Maybe a combination of both to soothe your ego a little. “Y’know what- never mind, goodnight, neighbor.” You finally turn the key, unlocking your door and slipping into your lonely apartment. Dropping the bag by the door, you toss your shoes off and convince yourself a hot shower would wash this day away.

And it does, for the most part. Maybe it’s because you shampooed your hair and you feel ten times more clean or maybe it’s because hot water seems to cure every bad mood you had before you got into the shower. Now, you’re hungry and all you want is something warm and to snuggle with your cat till your dreadful alarm takes you away from your sleep. You’re in the kitchen, drying your hair with a towel when you hear a knock at your door. And another and another.

Your only guess as to who it could be was Karina, maybe she and her boyfriend got into a fight again and she wanted to blow off some steam at your place. You go to open the door, being met with a very sheepish looking Haechan who can tell your mood dropped a little at his presence. “What.”

“Okay, firstly ouch, is that any way how you treat a neighbor? I mean I just moved in tod-“

“I’m giving you five more seconds to tell me what you want or I’m shutting the dam-“

“Okay okay fine, uh, can I maybe, possibly just sorta hang out?” Maybe Karina was right, maybe this was your punishment for whatever fucked up thing you did in your past life and now you have to endlessly suffer as if you’re made of steal. Well news flash universe, you’re not, now lay off. “You’re kidding, right?” When his eyes drop down to his hands that he was anxiously rubbing together, you let out a sigh before stepping aside.

He looked up, his eyes almost bright as he looks into yours. “Come in before I change my mind.” Once he stepped inside, you expected him to sit quietly on your couch and do whatever he thought he was gonna do when he got in, but you were far from that reality. The quiet, almost shy, boy who you just so happened to meet twice in one day completely came out of his shell and is now sitting across from you on your floor while sharing a separate bowl of soup.

“So why did you name your cat peanut?” The pet in question, or conversation, came from the hallway and walked around rubbing his body against various things in your living room. “Because my brother is allergic to peanuts and peanut hated him so it seemed fitting.” He smiles, content with your answer as she moves his spoon around in the bowl. “You’re a bad host, you know?” With a mouth full of soup, you chew the contents with furrowed brows. He came to your door, invaded your space, is eating your soup and dares to call you a bad host?

“Excuse me, but you’re the one who came up to me at the cafe and practically forced me into going along with your story!” He scoffs, setting his bowl down in his lap while pointing his spoon at you. “You’re the one who went along with it, look where that got you.” You narrow your eyes, trying to weigh your options on what’s the best way to commit homicide. “Wait-what—why are you even in here again?”

“Well, see now that’s a good question.” His sudden change in demeanor was weird. He suddenly seemed nervous, shifting in his spot as he avoided your gaze. “I actually, uh, have something to propose. Well, more like ask a question if you will, it’s really interchangeable honestly.”

He mirrors you, watching you with hopeful eyes as you start shaking your head. “Oh no, uh uh, don’t even say it.” He hurries behind you, pouting as he watches you set your near empty bowl in the sink. “I didn’t even say anything yet.” You turn around, holding your arms out to prevent him getting any closer. “No, but I know what you’re gonna ask and I’m not—no!” Haechan tries to speak, being interrupted when you shh him. You walk past him when he puts his bowl besides yours, speed walking down your hallway to your room.

“Y/n, don’t leave me in here alone.” God he sounded so whiny, it’s kinda cute if you’re honest, but that’s more of a random thought than a compliment for now. “Wait- how did you know my name?” Turning on your heel, the two of you stop midway in your hallway. “The landlord told me, he said if I ever needed anything to ask my neighbor and I currently am in need!” You turn back, trying to block him out as you enter your room and desperately climb into your bed.

Haechan stands at the entrance of your room, pouting when you reach for your laptop beside your bed. “Do you know how insane this is, I mean we just met today and then you just so happened to move in across from me and now you’re in my apartment, practically in my room,” you take in a deep breath, laughing it out as you open the device in your lap, “and I already feel like I know what you’re gonna ask me and it’s so fucking insane.”

Haechan doesn’t say anything, looking at you with an awkward smile. If you knew him, you’d think he was enjoying this, but that’s the thing is that you didn’t know him. “I know this is crazy and you might try to call the cops, but just hear me out.” You scrunch your nose, staring at him from across the room with crossed arms. “Remember the guys I was with earlier right, they’ve kinda been on me about being in a relationship and in a panic, I saw you and yeah the rest you pretty much know.”

“Do you know how pathetic that sounds, to use a random stranger as a decoy for your love, or lack of, life.” He looks taken aback, almost hurt at your brutal honesty and it leaves a slightly bad taste in your mouth. “Look, I’m sorry for that and almost as sorry as the situation your friends put you in.” He shrugs, running his hands through his hair as he opts to sit against your doorframe. There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles between the two of you, both not entirely sure what to say next and not sure on what to even begin to say to make it better.

You stare at the unopened files on your screen, mentally weighing your options and trying to decide whether to kick him out and potentially file a restraining order or to give him a chance, both seem like they’ll end up in flames honestly. “Look, I’ve seen way too many drama shows and I have a feeling on how this is supposed to go—it may be because I’m sleep deprived or how sad you’re looking right now, but I’ll think about it.”

His face lit up, hope filling his eyes with a certain kind of sparkle that made you feel worse if you’re being honest. “I knew it was a good decision to move here, I just knew it.” He mumbled to himself, smiling as he got up from your floor and brushed himself off. “I’ve got work to do, but we’ll talk tomorrow..I guess?” Nodding, Haechan gave you a salute which made you laugh before turning on his heels and disappearing into the darkness of your hallway. You let out a breath, a breath you didn’t know you were holding and lean against your pillows trying to figure out what you just signed up for.

Just as you start clicking on files, Haechan comes running back to your door. “You should probably lock the door.”

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Pushing your laptop aside, you get up from your bed and follow behind him.

The days following your very awkward and yet unclear agreement, you would only see Haechan in the hallway when one of you was leaving as the other was just getting in. That talk you were supposed to have, yeah that never actually happened due to your sudden pileup of work that occupied your time. Just have you been all week, you were currently sitting on your couch with your laptop occupying the space on your lap as you wait for your takeout order. You’re about three-fourths of the way done with what you’re working on when you hear a knock at your door.

Setting the device aside, you get up and go to answer it with your wallet in hand. When you open the door, much to your surprise, you see a very awkward Haechan holding your bags of takeout. “You sure do order a lot of food for one person.” Raising one brow, you reflect the smile he was giving you. “And who said I didn’t have company over?” You step aside, letting him come in and he does just so. After making his way towards your couch, he sets the bags down on the table in the center. You stop to think as you close the door how comfortable he seems when he barely knows you and has only been in your apartment one other time.

“If you did, I probably would’ve heard because, you know, the whole being neighbors thing.”

“Oh so you’re stalking me now?” He rolls his eyes at your comment, plopping down at the end of your couch. “You wish you got that much attention, don’t you.” You grab the nearest thing, good thing for him that it was a pillow, and throw it across the couch—directly hitting him in the head.

“Now that’s enough for a restraining order!”

“Please, if you didn’t wanna be near me then why’d you come to my door?” Haechan got silent, looking down at his hands while you sat back in your spot and started unpacking the food. “That got real deep real fast.” The sound of his chuckle made you smile, making sure to lay out the food across the table for the both of you. Silently, he leaned forward and started to fill up his bowl with toppings of his choice. Both of you started munching down, occasionally setting your food aside to continue your work. “What are you working on?” He asked, leaning into your side to peak over your shoulder.

“Our contract for this unrequited love.”

“Haha, very funny.” Haechan’s sarcastic tone and expression to match made you snicker as you finished up on your report and sent it off to Jungwoo for review. “Just some final notes for an article.” He nods, seeming content with your answer. “That’s not a bad idea though.” When you turn towards him, confusion evident on your face, Haechan then elaborates. “I mean the contract or at least some rules to this,” he motioned his hand between the two of you, “because I can’t tell if you can tell, but I’m desperate as hell.”

“Brownie points for rhyming.”

If you could see whatever went through his head when you said that, you probably would’ve enjoyed it just as much as seeing him throw his head into his hands. “Okay, in all seriousness how are we supposed to do this—I mean we don’t know one another and I’m not very sure I can trust a guy who still plays Michael Jackson till three am.”

Throwing his hands up, Haechan looked both offended and taken aback by your sudden forwardness. ”Firstly, don’t talk about the king like that, he’s a classic and everyone should be blasting his music the way I do, secondly I get where you’re coming from.”

Over the next two hours, the two of you talked about yourselves to help one another get more of an insight of your personalities, laugh at poorly made jokes and eat your way through cheap takeout food. After all that, you two moved on to why he approached you and the reason behind his need for a girlfriend. “So you’re telling me that the tall one,”

“Johnny.”

“Right, Johnny, is getting married and he kept pressuring you get a date for the wedding and instead of telling him you didn’t have one you made up a girl who doesn’t exist and when the one with blue hair,”

“Mark.”

“Yes, Mark, pointed me out as your imaginary girlfriend, you had no other choice, but to approach me and hope I’d play along?”

Haechan took a deep breath, cringing at the way you broke down his story which honestly made it sound worse. “Yeah, pretty much and did I mention they went to meet you before the wedding?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him with your mouth agape. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“If I was, would I seriously be sitting on your couch right now?”

He had a point, he could honestly be doing anything in the world, probably playing some video game, but like anything other than staring at you like you’re his only hope. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you or something like a, I dunno, normal person would have.” Haechan falls forward dramatically, grabbing both of your hands and squeezes them as he muffles what you assume is happy screams into your couch cushion.

The sudden move shouldn’t have made your heart jump a little, but it did and you’re not entirely sure why. For now, you’re blaming it on the fact that he’s insanely cute and the greasy food as you feeling a little beside yourself. “Your godsend, truly from heaven itself.” You pull your hands from his grasp, trying to hide the fact that your face feels like it’s on fire. “Yeah yeah, let me go before I reconsider this whole thing.”

“Let me at least take you on the first date before you try to back out—which by the way, will be next weekend at the actual wedding.”

You know that spit-take scene in movies where a person literally spits their drink everywhere because of the shocking news they just received, well that was you when he said that. Only this time it wasn’t in slow motion and wasn’t nearly as awesome, instead you choked halfway through spitting it out and it came back up and out your nose as you tried to save yourself from choking.

Haechan, disgusted you just spit all over him and also worried to see you nearly come to your end, gets up from the couch and searches your apartment for a towel to clean you and him up. When he comes back, you had slipped away to the bathroom to not only hide your embarrassment, but to clean yourself up and change your shirt. After what seemed like enough time to hope he had left, you went back into your living room to see Haechan sitting on the floor and using your couch as a back rest.

“Are you okay because that was—well that was tragic to put it kindly.”

“Can we not mention that, like ever for the rest of our lives would be good.” Sitting across from him, you fold your arms on top of the table, trying to avoid his gaze as you look anywhere but directly at him. He nods, understanding how overwhelmed you just be with all that he’s asking. You can tell by his stance how grateful he is for you and you use that to settle your nerves a bit. After all, maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe all of Karina’s talk about the universe and good karma might actually pull through.

“I’m sorry for roping you into all of this.” When you finally meet his eyes, you could see the sadness that lingered in them as he hung his head. “I don’t want you to think I do this for fun or I’m creepy or anything—I feel really bad for bringing you into something you didn’t ask for.”

Your chest felt heavy as you watched him slump against your couch. The last few interactions with Haechan made you feel like you’ve known him your entire life and seeing him so down had you feeling hurt.

“If you don’t want to do this, tell me please because I just- I don’t want you to go along with this because you feel bad for me.”

“I do feel bad for you, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” When he lifted his head, you could see the smile spread across his lips. “I see this as a an opportunity.”

“To what exactly?” When he leaned in, you did the same. He looked so familiar in this moment, so relaxed and almost kissable. But that’s the last thing you need to be thinking about when his face is damn near touching yours. “Two words: free food.” Watching Haechan gasp, you laugh as he raises his eyebrows at you. “Who said I’m going to pay for your food?”

Shrugging, you look down at your wrist and start to tap it with your finger. “Oh look at that, seems like you’ll have to find another girl who will help you, guess you might as well go ho-“

Haechan jumped up from his seat, moving around the table to grab your wrist. “No no, that’s okay—free food you said, that includes travel rights too?” You almost hate to say it, but this boy was making moves that damn near took your breath away. It sounds almost sad to be so swooned over a boy you hardly know, but there was something about him that just made you feel so at home. Maybe it was the way he laughs at every bad joke you tell or maybe it’s the way he’s way too touchy for your liking and yet you don’t seem to mind it.

Maybe it’s the way his lips are so plump and every time he pouts, you just wanna grab his face and kiss him till you’re out of breath. Maybe it’s the way his hand always feels warm to the touch and you could only imagine how you’d feel with his arms around you.

“Earth to y/n?” The snapping of Haechan’s fingers pulled you from your thoughts, blinking at him as if he was just apart of your imagination this whole time. “What’s going on up there that’s got you so spaced out?”

“Nothing, just thinking about what I’m gonna wear to the wedding.” Haechan looked at you a little longer, his eyes scanning your face to which you assume he’s trying to find something in your eyes. He seems to have bought it, backing away from you to create more personal space for you while he goes back to sit across from you. “Good point, we might just have to go shopping around this weekend to find a dress—oh and don’t forget one for the wedding so that makes two.”

“With what money, exactly? I mean I’m not broke, but I’m not paid enough to buy two dresses I’ll probably only wear once.”

He rolls his eyes at you, pulling his phone from his pocket when it starts vibrating. He doesn’t answer, instead he swipes right on the caller id and brings the device to his ear. From what you can hear from the person on the other side of the phone, you felt like he probably had something important to do. You start to get up, picking up the towels that he used to clean up the couch with. When you left to drop them off in the dirty basket, you return to find your door cracked and Haechan to be missing. Assuming he had went back to his apartment, you start to go and close the door before it swings. Haechan comes in, being followed behind by a guy you don’t recognize.

“Donghyuck, that’s breaking bro-code and you know it.” You’re a little confused as to why Haechan was called by another name, but you stay silent and watched the blonde haired boy cross his arms at Haechan. “I told you Yangyang, I’m not going to give you the girl at my jobs number—she already told me she filed a restraining order.”

Yangyang, the blonde haired guy you assume, pouts as he gets down on his knees with hands intertwined. “Pretty please, it doesn’t even have to be her, it can be someone else, I just need someone man—I’m lonely!”

You watch the dramatic scene unfold in your living room, getting a weird sense of deja vu. After clearing your throat to try and prevent yourself from coughing, both boys look at you with confusion in their eyes. “Are you the fake girlfriend?”

“I guess?” The question threw you off when Haechan’s friend said it so bluntly. “Stop asking questions and go to my apartment.” Haechan picked his friend up from the ground, shooing him out of yours and to the one across the hall. When Yangyang was now in his apartment, Haechan turned to you with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry for what you had to witness.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had weirder experiences than that if I’m being honest.”

He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around the floor. “So, I uh, I gotta get back to him or else he’ll probably destroy my apartment.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Your offer had his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as you followed him from your door to his. Right before he went inside, he turned around and, to your surprise, gave you a hug. You took him in, wrapping your arms around his as you two held each other for what felt like forever. “Goodnight, Haechan.” You whispered as he pulled away, smiling at him. “Donghyuck.”

When you looked at him confused, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “My name is donghyuck, but my friends typically call me Haechan.”

“So we’re not friends?” He shook his head, smiling so fondly at you that you weren’t sure what was real or fake at this point. “Only my special friends can call me Donghyuck.”

That night, his words echoed in your head as you laid in bed staring at your ceiling. You seem quite delusional for falling for someone who you barely know, but boy oh boy does he have you on the edge and you’re ready to give it all just to fall into him. You grab your phone from off your bed, scrolling through your messages till you find Karina’s name.

y/n: baby boo u awake?

naevis baevis: no ew go to sleep

y/n: I think I like him

naevis baevis: GIRL WHATT THE HELL DID I MISS??

y/n: i don’t know I’m IDK he’s got me feelin wheezy

naevis baevis: so he’s got you having diarrhea??

y/n: NO BITCH WHAT??

naevis baevis: tell me tomorrow at work I’m too tired for you and your pneumonia

As Karina swiveled her chair around, you sat on top of her desk while picking at the chipped polish on your nails. “So what’s his friend look like?” You look over at her with a deadpan expression as she wiggles her phone in her hand for you to see. “That’s the least important part of the story and instead of being a good friend you wanna ask about the random guy who practically begged for bitches on my living room floor?” She nods, continuing to wiggle her phone at you until you snatch it from her hand and type in his name.

“That’s all I get?” She frowns, scrolling through the pulled up suggested accounts with the same name. “Look, I only know his name was Yangyang and you better hope I spelt that right.” She looks focused as she continues to scroll through, clicking on an account and holding it up for you to approve—to which you did. “He’s kinda cute.” She coos, looking through his instagram feed while leaning back in her chair. “Karina.” You whine, nudging her leg with your foot as she giggles at her phone. She looks up from her phone, mirroring your pout as she sets the device down and folds her hands together. “Look, I don’t see anything wrong with it, he’s offering to pay for your dresses and he’s incredibly hot from what I saw on his friends page so I say it’s a win-win.”

“How do you know he’s incredibly hot based off his friends page?”

“Duh, you’ve described this man to me so many times I’ve practically seen him through your eyes at this point.” She had a point, ever since Haechan walked into your life, all you seem to do is talk about him and how he makes your stomach is filled with butterflies. “So when’s the wedding again?” You snap out from your thoughts, staring at her with shock. “Huh?”

“His friends wedding, when is it?” For some reason when she first asked the question, you thought she was talking about you and Haechan and that alone had your face turning a slight shade of pink. “Girl please don’t tell me you thought I was talking about your man.” You rolled your eyes, sliding yourself off her desk and pulled down the rolled up pieces of fabric of your pants. “He’s not my man.” She gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t buy your bullshit and swivels her chair back around to her computer. “Tell that to lover boy next time you see him.”

You ignore her last comment and head back to your desk, confused to see a note left by your keyboard. When you pick it up, you read that Xiaojun had eaten your lunch by accident and apologized via sticky note. Crumbling it in your hand, you plop down into your chair in defeat. You throw the sticky note in the trash and start to open up files on your computer when you hear the phone on your desktop ring. Answering, you continue to click open files with the phone to your ear. “Y/n’s office.”

“Hey y/n, it’s winter down at the front desk, this guy is asking for you if you’re not busy.” You check the time on your computer, shrugging as you pin a couple important things before closing off the rest. “Sure, I’ll come down.” After you hang up the phone, you let Jaehyun know you’re going to lunch in which he replies he hopes you get a stomach bug. One of these days you’re gonna poison his food you think—playfully of course.

After a quick elevator ride down, you enter the main lobby of your building and wave at Winter who was standing behind the front desk. She returns the wave with a smile and points over at Haechan who was sitting on a bench by the front doors. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers and his phone. “Um, are you stalking me because if you are then this won’t work, I draw the line at being creepy.” Your voice caught Haechan’s attention, closing off his phone and tucking it into his jacket pocket as he gets up and heads towards you. “No I’m not stalking you, I asked the landlord for your number and where you worked and surprisingly he told me in a heartbeat.”

You make the mental note to stop sharing personal information with your landlord before focusing in on the flowers in his hand. Haechan’s eyes follow yours, looking down at the flowers before handing them over to you. “I thought since I’m your fake boyfriend, I might as well be a good one for compensation on having to deal with the shit show you got sucked into.” You smile at the flowers, looking up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, for the flowers I mean.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to hide his smile. “So, you’re not busy are you, because I totally showed up unannounced, but I figured it was better to do that then text you and you block my number”.

“No, I’m on lunch right now and you chose the best option on that.” He nods, linking his arm with yours and immediately starts walking towards the exit. “Excuse me, but where exactly are we going and why the hell did you feel the need to skip with your steps?” He smiled and if you’re honest, his smile brightened up the entire atmosphere around you. “We’re going dress shopping, duh, oh and to get lunch because I’m a good boyfriend like that.”

You didn’t have time to protest before the two of you were off into the city. He gave you the choice for lunch, picking a taco stand near some shops because you felt guilty for him paying for everything. He would not let you bring out your wallet and even threatened to throw it out the window if you tried to spend your money. The gesture was sweet, but his seriousness made you tuck it safety away in your pocket.

Once you found a dress shop you were comfortable entering, you both entered and looked around before one of the staff took you away while the other walked Haechan around and helped him pick out dresses for you to try on. Once he found a couple different options, you tried them on and the both of you settled on your favorite pick for the first dress that you’d wear to the ceremony. Since the reception was going to be later in the night, Haechan opted for a different dress that was more covering so that you wouldn’t be so cold. When you came out in the second dress that he himself specifically picked, you almost felt too nervous to meet his gaze.

When he turned around from talking to a staff member, he visibly froze when his eyes met with yours. Panic starts to rush through your veins as you pull and fluff the dress in hopes that you don’t look like a total fool. “So, how does it look?” Haechan didn’t say anything for almost two minutes, staring at you with his mouth open. You snap your fingers at him, face turning read as the staff members smile lovingly at you both. “Sorry, I uh, wow.” You look at him dumbfounded, turning around to go back and change out of the dress. Just before you close the curtain, you could feel the warmth from his fingers wrap around your wrist and turn you around. “Breathtaking, to answer your question, you look absolutely breathtaking.”

“I meant the dress.” You mumble as you try to avoid his gaze. “The dress is just a piece of fabric, it’s the person wearing it that gives it such glow.” You couldn’t think straight, your mind going to mush with the lack of space between you and Haechan, the sudden smell of his cologne taking over your senses and his blown-out pupils making you feel almost dizzy. You nod, swallowing thickly as you pull yourself from his grasp and rush into the changing area. Embarrassing is what you’d call that, way too embarrassing to talk about and way too embarrassing to not forget. You opt to pretend it didn’t happen and get dressed. When you hang the dresses on the outer rack, you realize the dress Haechan picked didn’t have any coverage on the shoulders and by time you had gotten dressed, you saw him at the register.

“Where’s the dresses?” You ask, meeting him by his side when he gets his receipt from the cashier. “They’re bagging them up now, why?”

“The second one didn’t have sleeves, you wanted sleeves so I don’t get cold, no?” To see the smile on his face made you confused, there wasn’t anything particular that was funny nor did you say anything for him to be smiling like he just found a million dollars. “I only want you by my side in that dress, the rest doesn’t matter.” You snicker, shoving him as one of the staff members calls his name. He walks over, getting both dresses in their boxes and some simple instructions on how to take care of them in washing. “You two are a beautiful couple.” The cashier’s voice caught you off guard, waving your hands as you shake your head.

“No, you’re mistaken, we’re not together.” Her eyes flicker between you and Haechan, smiling as she looks away embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought because of the way you two look at one another.” You were just about to ask her what she meant by that when Haechan came back. “Ready to go?” You nodded, following him out the store and back to his car where you two drove in silence back to your job.

He bid you a goodbye and told you he’d keep the dresses till you came by to get them. You promised him you’d be by after work and went back into the building with the biggest smile on your face. With the flowers in one hand, you scanned your ID badge when you entered the building and saw a bunch of weird states from your coworkers. You wouldn’t necessarily call the weird, but they were all smiling at you so sickly that you felt as if you were about to get pranked.

The ride up the elevator was also weird, a bunch of people kept giggling and smiling at you when asking about your flowers and it was starting to make you uncomfortable. As you got off on your floor, you walk down to get to your desk when someone grabs you and drags you into a janitor’s closet. You nearly scream when being jerked to the side until you see Karina with a shit-eating grin on her face. Now that you know you weren’t about to be chopped up into little pieces, you steady yourself and take deep breaths to catch your breath. “You’re fucking insane.”

Staring at her in shock, you slap her thigh to which she winces. “Me, insane? You just drug me into a closet like a psycho maniac and for what?” She giggles into her hand, leaning forward as she sniffs your flowers. “So he brought you fucking flowers girl? We were just talking about him and he shows up with a bouquet and a ring?”

You roll your eyes at her emphasis on a ring. “What ring, we literally—wait firstly who told you he brought me flowers?” She then proceeds to explain how Winter saw you and Haechan and then told Ningning who then told Wendy who then told Taeyong who then told Jaehyun who then told literally everyone. You make another mental note to hunt Jaehyun down and ruin his chance at having kids. “So spill the tea, c’mon, don’t be shy and tell me about your date.”

“It wasn’t a date, he took me to lunch which he wouldn’t let me pay for I might add, he brought me dresses for the wedding he coerced me to be his date for and then drove me back.” She holds her hand over her mouth as she stares at you with a smile. “So he took you on a date.” You then slap her thigh again as she giggles and an unfamiliar smell catches your attention. “What’s that smell?” She looks at you, considering what smell you could be talking about. You lean in, getting a good look at her to realize her hair had been messed with, her lips slightly swollen and her shirt was buttoned wrongly.

You give her a grin as she sees you connect the dots and immediately opens the door. “Oh no, come back and do spill the tea miss Karina!” She covers her ears, trying to block you out as you follow behind her and start pointing out the differences of her appearance from before you last saw her.

Later that night, you kept your promise to go over to Haechan’s, but only after you had taken a very much needed shower did you do so. When you knocked on his door, you could hear the music that was being played stop and a bit of shuffling before the door opened. You expected to see Haechan, but to your surprise you saw someone you weren’t exactly familiar with. The guy who was giving you a weird look was his honestly kind of cute in an intimidating way, but you stopped yourself from thinking that any further than you already did. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna stare at me?”

Embarrassed, you avert your eyes from his and try to think of something to say. You don’t know why you feel so under pressure, maybe it was the lack of expression in his face or the fact that he was practically your height, but made you feel small. “Renjun, was that the pizza guy?” You could hear Haechan from inside the apartment, his voice bringing a smile to your lips. Just as you’re about to go back into your apartment and give up on getting your dresses, Haechan comes beside to the boy you assume is Renjun and sees your visible uncomfortableness. “Y/n, hi- oh shit I forgot to give you your dresses, didn’t I?”

“No, no actually I was supposed to come get them, but that’s okay I’m just gonna uhm I’m gonna go home.” Backing away from the door, you signal to your apartment entrance behind you as you see Haechan pout. “Wait, why don’t you come inside and hang out with us?” Haechan, who slipped through the space between Renjun and the wall, made his way to you in hopes to stop you from leaving. Your eyes flicker between Renjun and Haechan, feeling almost guilty for wanting to remove yourself from this awkward situation. “Hyuck, I’m just across the hall, go have time with your friend.”

Haechan’s face softened at the nickname, nodding when his hand brushed against yours. He clears his throat as he steps back towards his apartment, waving at you goodnight as you go back in to snuggle up to your cat. Haechan re-entered his apartment, ignoring the look on Renjun’s face as he plops down on his couch. “What was that and why was that so weird?” Haechan shot a look over at Renjun when his friend started to mirror the look.

“What, I mean from what I just saw from you two, y’all have some weird tension that needs to be solved.”

“Nah, you just scared her away by being that ugly.”

Renjun sarcastically laughs at Haechan’s poorly made joke, flipping up his middle finger at his friend. “I have you know that women find me dangerously attractive.” Haechan snickers, trying to prevent himself from laughing too hard. “Is that what your mom tells you at night?” The last part is what lead Haechan to run for his life around his apartment as Renjun brought various objects for use of a weapon against his friend. Finally after the two made a truce, Haechan decides to text you after remembering how he never did give you his number.

You were a little surprised to get a text when you weren’t expecting one, especially at the hour that it came in. You had been on the phone with Karina while she filled you in on the reason for her shirt being undone and messed up earlier that day. “I literally don’t know what came over me, but I messaged the guy and he ended up being around and we just pounced.”

You laugh, clicking on the message app. “I can’t believe you nearly gave it all to Yangyang.” She laughs, wiping the tears that were in the corners of her eyes from all the giggling you two have been doing. “Me either! I mean I know he’s cute, but damn his lips are magic.” You hesitate to open the unknown message, afraid it could bad someone trying to scam you out of whatever you got and to be honest it wasn’t much, but you knew you wouldn’t let them have your cat peanut.

unknown: hey

y/n: uhm hello?

unknown: I miss u

y/n: I will literally block you

unknown: ITS ME ITS HAECHAN

y/n: ohh hi hyuck

You decide change his contact name and save his number.

boy next door aka hyuck: wyd :p

y/n: blocking you bc that was cringe

boy next door aka hyuck: you want me so bad oo 😵‍💫

y/n: don’t you wish I did 😏

boy next door aka hyuck: yes

y/n: I’m telling my fbi agent

boy next door aka hyuck: tell them I said i just wanted to text you so you’ll have my number

boy next door aka hyuck: and to apologize for Renjun earlier but goodnight for now

y/n: goodnight hyuck

boy next door aka hyuck: goodnight y/n

The rest of the week and a half that played out before the wedding only added more fuel to the fire in your heart that burned for Haechan. He would send you songs throughout the day at random times to which you started adding to a playlist anytime you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He would leave things at your doorstep or drop stuff off at your job for you to get on your lunch break. He occasionally would come over or you’d be invited over and the two of you would spend the night laughing at poorly made moves, singing old Michael Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, which is how you realized that he was literally gifted the voice of an angel, and play board games after the two of you had one too many drinks.

Each time you two were alone and it was late, it always seemed that you were avoiding the inevitable. You could always stop yourself from leaning in and stealing a kiss from his plump and precious lips, but that never stopped your mind from thinking about it. The tension that Renjun mentioned before seemed to only get thicker the more you spent time with him, making it harder to see the line between this all being fake and what was genuinely real.

The morning of the wedding to be specific was when you could clearly tell that the dynamic of your relationship had shifted and there wasn’t much room to turn back now. That alone terrified you because you weren’t sure if you had been the only one feeling the way you felt. You had changed into your dress and made sure to apply minimal makeup to keep yourself from looking like a burnt out clown by the end of the night. Thankfully for you, the dress was comfortable and the venue where the ceremony was being held wasn’t too far.

“Are you nervous?” Your question came unexpected to Haechan, turning his head to give you a quick glance over as he continued his drive to the ceremony venue. “Why should I be, I’m not the one getting married.” He smiled thinking about his friend and the future he was creating from this day forward. Haechan was genuinely excited to see Johnny become a dad and do all the things he knew he was fit for. It wasn’t like Haechan was scared for that part of his future, he did look forward to being married and settling down with his partner, but he never thought he’d actually get that far in life to do so.

“Dunno, just thought I’d ask.” You lean against the window, propped up on your elbow as you watch the buildings pass by. Haechan reached over, grabbing your free hand and intertwined his fingers within yours. A lot of the time he would do this and each time it felt so comforting that silence would take over and all that could be heard was the music that was being washed out by the beating of your heart for him.

You must’ve zoned out because by the time you tuned back in, Haechan was parking the car at the front of the building and waiting for you to realize you had arrived. You got out the car, instantly smelling the salty ocean air beige meeting him around the front of the car and bring your hands up to straighten his bow tie. He smiles down at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as you brush off his tuxedo and fiddle with his hair. You give him a puzzled look, watching as he shook his head and mumbled something along the lines about ‘that was cute’.

The two of you entered the building, you turn to glance back at the beach that looked so relaxing before linking your arm with his. A few people come up to Haechan and you, introducing themselves and complementing the two of you as a couple. You stayed quiet for most of the time, not exactly knowing what to say and Haechan didn’t seem that interested in the people as well. You spot someone familiar, well he’s not exactly familiar, but you had seen him before. The boy with blue hair makes his way over, you choose to step aside and watch as he hugs Haechan as the two smile and pat one another on the back.

“Dude it’s been so long, what’s going on?” After hugging Haechan, the boy you try to remember that is Mark, straightens out his tux, but never falters his smile. “I‘be been busy with work and oh- I want you to meet someone.” To be honest, you weren’t really paying attention when Haechan started walking over to you. His warm hand lifted yours and the sweet look in his eyes made your cheeks feel warm. “This is my girlfriend y/n, y/n this is my best friend Mark.”

You go in to shake his hand, surprised when he pulled you into a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you, y/n, lover boy over here has literally been talking nonstop about you.” You smile, watching as Haechan mouths to you that he’s going to find your seats. After mark pulls back, the two of you chat a little by the same area, occasionally looking around for Haechan to find him talking to who you assume is his friends. “You know, you’re really good for him.” Marks words had you almost taken aback, turning your head to see him smiling. “At first, I was pretty hesitant because when he told me he had a girlfriend I didn’t believe him, but I’ve seen how happy he’s been and I can’t wait for us to meet again like this, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.”

“Meet like this again?” Mark look slightly embarrassed that you didn’t catch on, but he was being called by his date for the evening so he started to make his way off.

After the ceremony was over, everyone started to move towards the venue for the rest of the evening to conclude. A lot of people were left in tears, yourself included, by the vows exchanged between Johnny and his now wife.

When the two of you enter the venue, an overwhelming feeling washes over you and makes you grip his hand a little tighter. Haechan seems to notice, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he guides you through the crowd of people who grouped around the entrance. Once he finds quieter space to pull you two, you were too spaced out to realize how close he had gotten. Both of his hands were on your shoulders, rubbing softly on the exposed skin to calm you.

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, I’m right here y/n.” His voice brings you in from your thoughts, focusing on in the look in his eyes and how soft his features are in this moment. With a little nod, you let him know you’re with him and he smiles as you pull one of his hands from your shoulder and intertwine your fingers. He takes this opportunity to lead you towards your table where some of his friends you met earlier were seated. You immediately spot Karina and Yangyang at the mini bar just further down from the table and gave Yangyang a wave as he spots you and Haechan.

Haechan’s hand finds its way into the small of your back, immediately getting your attention as you turn your head towards him. “I’m gonna go get us something to drink.” He says, just loud enough to be heard over the music. You nod, standing behind your chair as you look over to the stage. Johnny walks up with the widest smile you’ve seen him sport since he kissed his bride and taps on the microphone a couple times. “Can I have everyone’s attention? Hello, everyone look up here.” Everyone goes quiet and the musics volume is lowered as Johnny looks over at the crowd. “I want to thank everyone coming out to celebrate me and my lovely wife coming together, this first dance will go out to all the new and older couples that are here, please join us in this dance to celebrate love that’s everlasting.”

Just as Johnny raises his glass, Haechan comes back and hands you your drink. You smiled as you took the glass from him and took a sip as the crowd raised theirs with Johnny. Just as Johnny gets off the stage, couples all start to make their way to the dance floor as Johnny gets to his wife and meets her in the middle. “We should go dance.” Surprised, you set your glass down and give Haechan a puzzled look. “Dance? But I don’t know how to dance and this is a couples dance.” He doesn’t take no for an answer, grabbing your hand and pulling you to follow him. “We are a couple.” You can’t exactly tell if he’s still going along with the fake dating charade for his friends or if the light in his eyes was genuine.

It doesn’t take much for you to give in, especially when the most romantic song Dandelions starts to play. Once he found a moveable spot on the floor, his hands circle around to your back and pull you in close. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you try not to make too much eye contact with him inches away from your face. “You’re so beautiful, y/n.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, trying to hide your face from him as you clear your throat. “Likewise, hyuck.”

“Just likewise?” When you turned your head to face his, he seemed a lot closer than you remembered and for some reason that terrified you and relaxed you at the same time. “I mean you are beautiful, very handsome and whatnot.” He laughs and the sound goes straight to your heart. You knew before you gotten to this point that falling for him would be so easy and so hard, but never did you expect for it to be this gentle. “I’m glad you think so, that alone gives me enough confidence to do what I’ve been dying to do.” You tilt your head at his sudden confession, watching as he leaned in and rested his head against yours.

You didn’t know what to do or even what to say, instead you opted to stay quiet and continue to hold him as the two of you danced. Somewhere between the end of Dandelions and the beginning of Golden Hour, your head was now resting against his chest and the two of you were lost in your own world. Haechan brought his hand up to your chin, gently lifting your head up. You blink at him, caught up in the music and the moment, not realizing what was about to happen nor did you want it to stop.

Haechan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him further in. Your brain turned into mush and your body felt like it was on fire as the two of you were caught up in a slow and almost loving kiss on the dance floor. Haechan was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as he catches his breath. You continued to sway with him, moving back and forth as you build up the courage to ask the question you’ve been dying for an answer to. “Will you be my girlfriend, like a real one this time?” Pulling back, you smile at Haechan who looks almost panicked.

“Because if not that’s okay too- like you don’t have to we can totally forg—“ You cut him off by pulling him back in for a kiss. He smiles against your lips, giving your hip a playful squeeze. Once the two of you pull back from one another’s lips, Haechan smiles which turns into a soft string of laughs. “What’s so funny, it’s not exactly polite to laugh after kissing a girl you know.” He tries to explain, failing to when he continues laughing. “Aren’t you glad you got a free trial?” You give him a puzzled look, watching as he steps back from you and spins around on his heel. “Free trial wedding style.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the way he poorly described your fake relationship from the beginning, but he had a point. You look back and now thank the universe for bringing him into your life and can’t wait to see what it’ll be like from here on out. Who knows, maybe the next wedding you’ll be at will be yours.

the tip of your finger danced around his skin. drawing circles on his bare chest, grazing over his flesh ever so slightly. you placed your palm flat against his heart, you were not surprised at the speed it was beating. both of you very much aware of the love you held for the other.

and your hearts never lie.

and your hearts never lie.

“i read something earlier,” you replaced your palm with your head, tucking it nicely above his chest.

“yeah?” he hummed, his unusual deep and breathy voice vibrating from his body to send dusty ripples down your spine. “what was it about?”

his plump lips gravitated habitually to the top of your head. your hair slightly tickling his stubbled-chin that he hasn’t shaved for a while. he breathed in, your smell intoxicating him, his brain was full of you and every part of his body, from head to toe, was in love with you.

your response was a kiss on the spot where your ear was witnessing a symphony conducted by his heartbeats. you were his favorite song and he looked down at you with stars dancing in his eyes.

his entire body hummed with prickling goosebumps as you gently swayed your lips all over his chest. his breath hitched inside his throat when you ever so slightly teased a kiss over his nipple.

he was enchanted by the way you made him feel. and he enjoyed your sudden possessive demeanor.

you trailed your kisses up his torso, pecking his collarbones and working your way up his neck. your body moved on its own as you straddled him, lips still hot on his skin. on instinct, his hands attached to your waist. manly and slender fingers dancing across the naked skin of your waist until they nuzzled themselves into your hips.

he sighed against your temple as you placed loving kisses on his neck and smiled when he let out the tiniest whine that only you could enkindle in the loudest settings and quietest corners. and he burned in satisfaction.

you pulled away, watching him gently reach out after you. his beautiful neck, jaw and cheek on full display. all pretty and littered with moles you created constellations with inside the galaxies that your eyes held.

“you must’ve been very loved in your past life, and i’m jealous because it wasn’t me who gave you all these beautiful moles,” you pouted, your pointy finger tracing over the moles of his cheek, making out the shape of the constellation you loved so much.

“beauty marks are where your past lover kissed you the most. they sure loved your cheeks, jaw and neck,” you whispered as you kissed over his moles.

haechan laughed way out loud at your cuteness, thumbs swirling over your skin. his hands traveled up your back, settling on your head and pulling back you gently.

“where did this come from, all of a sudden?” he giggled up at you, eyes crinkling. you were sitting so beautifully on top of his body as he was leaning on the soft pillows behind him.

he wanted to engrave this moment in his heart forever.

“i’m so jealous of your past lover,” you curled your hands on his chest, head down and back slightly arched.

“you’re acting as if i just didn’t give you one of the best, most toe-curling orgasms ever, sweetheart. why are you jealous of my past lover and where did this thought even come from?” haechan was seriously so confused but amused at what you were blabbering about.

“i read it online,” you admitted, shrugging.

he wondered if you had even come down from your high. he sat up straight, holding your face with both hands until your lips pouted and he placed multiple kisses on top.

“baby,” first kiss.

“my baby,” second kiss.

“i’m all yours,” third kiss.

“there’s no such thing as a past lover,” fourth kiss.

“and even if there was,” fifth kiss.

“i can assure you that i love you,” sixth kiss.

“one,” seventh kiss.

“thousand,” eighth kiss.

“times,” ninth kiss.

“more than them,” tenth kiss.

“i love you so much, and i’ll love you as long as the stars keep shining in the night skies,” he flipped you over, snuggling you underneath his warm body. he planted multiple kisses down your cheeks and neck, setting up goosebumps to burn on your skin.

“i’ll forever be yours, forever and for a whole lifetime,” he reassured, smiling down at you and brushing his nose against yours.

“then let me kiss you,” you traced his moles again. you’ve always been obsessed with them but this time you couldn’t control your feelings with him. “let me kiss all the places you have moles on your body.”

“can’t turn down an offer like that, i’m all yours baby.”

a/n : this drabble basically wrote itself, RIP. reader is me, i’m so whipped for haechan☹️💘 feedback is appreciated, let me know what you think of this 🫶🏼