#jeno

The dim lighting from the nearby lamp post didn’t shroud his grim expression. From your view, his side profile looks sharper than the soft ones you've gotten used to. Instead of the anticipated looks from him whenever he sees you, he's looking straight ahead, at the mountains beyond, to maybe clear his head before you arrive. Occasionally, he glances but the closer you approach, the more you feel the heated glares he’d been throwing at your way, amplifying your nerves the closer you are to him. 

"For a second, I thought you wouldn’t show up."

The accusation made you pause. Jeno's voice lacks any other emotion other than the sardonic smile he wears after. He looks away afterwards, timing to drop those words as soon as you're on earshot but he occasionally glances at you until he deems the ground you're walking on is fully safe. Even when he’s annoyed, his habit of making sure you’re okay never fails to deliver.

"Jen, I would never stand you up." Your response came out soft, a bit sluggish, the trace of sleepiness still following you. His blatant insinuation didn't even dissuade you, stepping closer to him to appeal your point. He hasn't looked at you yet so now you're hesitating, the instinct to touch his shoulder halted by his indifference.

But this allowed you to check him out.

He looks great as always, the tight white shirt hugging his big frame, the belt strap around his strong bicep—

Wait.

“Recognized something?”

Your ex boyfriend's question jolted you fully awake. He's eyeing you now like a hawk, looking smug as he focuses on your nervous stance. The surprise on your probing eyes were evident as you're putting together why his fit is familiar.

You only remember one person who wore the same top he did. One of the guys you were “seeing” in the last few months had that on at the last house party you went to. 

Heeseung.

But how did he know?

"What, are you stalking me now?"

You slightly berate yourself for sounding defensive. You shouldn’t even feel any guilt at all but here you are trying to mask the slight guilt bubbling up inside your heart at his question. You’re single and certainly you didn’t owe your ex-boyfriend any sort of explanation. 

Jeno's just testing you and you fell right into his trap. He's aware that you couldn’t hide your facial expressions well, choosing to confront you before you can touch him. You don't know why the simple question is affecting you this much. Probably because he's aware that you're having flings and he's making you feel like you’ve been caught.

And it twists something in you that your accusation barely did any damage on him.

"You re-posted it to your story." Jeno scoffs then it clicked.

You remember Giselle tagging you in that random selfie she took at the said house party earlier this month. In it, Heeseung was all over you, wearing the identical shirt and arm belt your ex boyfriend is clad in tonight.

“Then you decided to wear a similar fit to what? Taunt me?” Your voice rises in response to his contempt. Honestly, you don’t know where he’s going with this. You're already frustrated, your mixed emotions slowly piling up and he's still getting to the point. It didn’t help that his simple goading already provoked this much from you. 

Maybe that’s what he wants. His plan all along.

“Is he the one you’re dating?” 

So he's choosing to ignore your interrogation with another question as he walks towards his motorbike. He unloads the picnic basket to the ground while waiting for your answer. 

“I wouldn’t be here if I already am, Jeno” you reply with resignation, wanting to give up this conversation already.

This is not the yearly catch up that you’ve been looking forward to.

Jeno’s never this adamant to know of your dating life as you are to his. It’s one of the conditions you’ve discussed after promising to stay in touch. No bringing up of people you’re seeing unless it’s official.

Because only then, it'll matter.

“Thought you’d end it once you arrived.” 

The simple comment almost offended you but you forced yourself to calm down. You don't want to be overwhelmed this early on and Jeno's not letting you breathe with his rapid assumptions. The way he said the words however is too calm. Nevertheless, you can feel the anger lingering around even if he’s not facing you.

“Again, I’m not dating anyone...just playing around...you?"

Skirting around the question stirs an embarrassment inside your chest. You're fully aware that your ex boyfriend does the same as you. The fact that you sounded unsure despite your indignation pushes you to stay quiet when he hasn't answered. There's a slight hesitation on his face that you caught briefly, but you tried to ignore it. You're no better if you pointed it out.

"Here and there." He says quietly after almost a minute of silence.

You fight to keep your face neutral. 

It stings to hear him confirm it and you feel like a hypocrite for feeling it this way. If it weren't for his best friend you wouldn’t have known. You unexpectedly bumped into Jaemin at a party in freshman year and there he accidentally spilled how Jeno's been doing. You knew how Jaemin was and you refused to be affected by such news.

But it did sparked your willingness to try with others, resolving the guilt that you once had for considering it after the break up.

You wouldn't lie that it didn't affect you. He's your first and only boyfriend, the first relationship—your first love. That's not something you can just erase especially when your break up was mutual.

On your first meetup since breaking up, you were anxious that Jeno wouldn’t show up but he did and even reassured you that he always will unless of course, things change. It's the reason you never brought it up since then. There was no need to and you didn’t want to waste the limited time you have together for something that shouldn’t matter.

However, the anxiety lingered since you found out and it magnifies whenever this time of year arrives.

Jaemin may have discreetly clarified that Jeno tends to cut off anyone he’s seeing when this time comes around. You’ve merely retorted that it’s the typical “spring cleaning” everyone does before the school year ends but the truth was, it never erased your worry.

It's like a waiting game between you and Jeno. Just like the previous years, you’ve tried your best to not care and not ask about any girls in Jeno’s life. And you've adapted his method, entertaining boys occasionally, until recently. This year, you haven’t cut off ties with any of them yet and you have no idea why.

Jeno wasn’t annoyed that you’re late—maybe a little but he’s used to it. He's mostly anxious but that absolutely doesn't mean he was stalking you either. He thrifted that top combo before he saw your story so why not put it to good use? Won't you be delighted to see that he and your newest fling are twinning?

The timing’s too perfect for him to not wear it for you.

And it's so fun watching you try so hard to look unaffected when he can read through you.

Right now, he's watching your gaze on the pavement after hearing his answer, contemplating whether to confront you further or not. You were already late and the confrontation went longer than he expected but as much as he didn’t want to find out why, he had to ask or else it’ll never leave his mind. 

Not that anything about you ever did really.

“Last question and be honest with me on this one. You forgot didn’t you?” he asks, noticing your eyes fixated on the grass this time.

"I didn't. I'm literally here” you lamely respond and the guilt in your voice tells him enough.

“Don’t lie to me.” He seethes, looking away from you.

“I'm not, what reason would I have?”

To not hurt his feelings? 

Again, Jeno couldn't find any suitable answer. The best possible answer he could muster is only his assumptions. He knows that's nowhere near the truth because you’ve always been so considerate, one of the qualities he’s admired about you.

He hears your steps and turns to you. He probably has been quiet for a while because you're watching him intently. He sends a challenging stare and watches you close the distance between you.

The motorbike wobbles when you lean against the space beside him. 

Jeno should say something—anything but sometimes silence is also an answer. He waits for you to say anything but you remain quiet—your form of retaliation.

This won't do.

He takes a deep breath and faces you.

"Did you fuck him at that time?"

“You said the last question was the final one.” You pointed out with a little whine, still trying to find a way to end this conversation but he’s not having it.

This is truly Jeno's last question, for his peace of mind.

“Answer me.”

You pondered playing with him a little, a small yes to get back at all the accusations he’d thrown at your way earlier. A part of you wants to know how he'll react if you lie because he already knows the answer. The nerve of him to ask you this "last" question when he’s the one who broke your no contact rule that night.

A part of your rules before breaking up is to not communicate unless it's necessary, like when your yearly meet up is near in case of emergencies. Birthdays and special occasions are optional but then out of nowhere, you received a text from Jeno after a few months.

Your mood soured as soon as you did and it remained for the rest of the night. You couldn't even enjoy the party anymore, the shots you've taken only made you overthink about everything more than usual.

Thankfully, none of your friends noticed but you still felt bad how occupied you were. Your latest fling had been all over you but you didn't end up fucking him. Heeseung understood without you having to explain which was a relief on your part. He even offered to drop you home but you declined, opting to walk instead to clear your head.

It didn't work at all. Sleep didn’t come easy that night. Neither were the following days.

“Almost. It never happened.” 

You whisper the words Jeno's been raring to hear. He doesn't know why but he likes to torture himself this way, prying you about things that annoy him.

The confirmation made him smirk.

“Sure didn’t? How about the other ones?”

His eyes drop on your bare thighs, the skirt and knee-high boots you're wearing doing just enough to not let the cold air affect you that much. You didn’t answer right away, the stubborn side of you resisting to respond but that's also because you were waiting for his next move.

Jeno senses this and rests his fingerless-gloved hand on your thigh, the leather skin of the glove making your body squirm the moment it brushes your skin.

So this is how he’ll pluck the answer from you this time.

You watch him stand up fully, his hand still on your thigh while the other lifts your face, forcing you to meet his eyes. Yours flit to the small mole below his left eye, your throat closing up in nervousness. Jeno's looking for something you already knew so you brave yourself to finally meet his intense stare.

His dark brown eyes lures you to spill the words he wanted to hear. 

“No, I haven’t.” 

There it is. This is why you avoid looking into Jeno’s pretty eyes. They always compel you to do stupid things and now you're spreading your legs willingly without him asking, causing your skirt to ride up.

“Yeah, I can tell.” He chuckles a little, his tone not giving away if he believes what you said.

Your ex boyfriend moves closer to your body, standing in between your legs until your chests are mere centimetres apart. The proximity made your heart flutter, and instead of looking at his face, your eyes shifted to his permed hair. You reach up to part them a little and the gesture startles him a bit. But he recovers immediately, leaning in for a quick kiss. He's been on a quest to distract you but it's not enough, targeting your neck next after a couple of more inviting kisses. 

Jeno doesn’t give you time to process. His lips trail your jaw up to your mouth, biting your lips down to ask for entrance. You did after through a sharp gasp that you couldn’t hold anymore. He sneaks a hand inside your leather jacket, to the bare skin below your top, to hold your waist down on his motorbike seat. Your body reacts immediately, shuddering from the warm touch of his palm against your shivering skin. His other hand starts pulling off the collar of your jacket, not fully peeling it off yet, just enough to keep you warm from the breeze.

Your ex-boyfriend is still painfully sweet, making sure you wouldn’t fall off his bike and your stupid heart flutters at that. But how can you not when his gentle hold contrasts the way he’s nipping your skin harshly, determined to leave prominent marks on your neck.  

“J-Jeno..”

“Look up.” He instructs and you do, tilting your neck to encourage him.

It wasn’t hard for Jeno to find that sweet spot of yours, pulling out that delicious sound from you that his ears missed. Having known your body for years, it’s the first thing he learned when you first dated back in your senior year of high school.

It delights him that you’re struggling to focus on the pretty sky above you, the mix of your quiet whines and gasps with your heavy breathing sounds melodious to his ears.

There are no clouds on sight so you’re trying your best, your eyes desperately hunting prominent stars to start with or familiar patterns because Jeno’s going to ask you about constellations again later. It’s a habit he developed way before you started dating, asking you randomly when the sky is clear, and it stayed even after you both called it quits. 

Right now, you’re having a hard time recognizing any of them thanks to Jeno's bolder ministrations. He's definitely doing this on purpose, making it difficult for you as punishment. You wouldn’t rule that out, knowing your ex's petty nature. But none of that matters because you didn’t even want to focus on them anymore.

Jeno will have to bear with your possible mistakes later because all you want right now is for him to touch you where you need it the most. Aside from the catch ups and wanting to see him in person, you’ve always looked forward to sleeping with him, to check if he still wants you the way you want him—that no matter how many girls he’s fucked in the last year, he still wants you.

Maybe then it’ll also convince him to believe you. That you're telling the truth.

“Jeno please,” You’ve widened your legs when his hands stayed where they are, hoping he’ll get the hint.

He already did. He'll always know what you wanted but he’s enjoying your squirming body under his touch too much. You’re never not needy when you fuck but not often like this, so he’s got to prolong it as much as he can. 

"Why are you this needy, hmm? You certainly were fucking others this week."

Jeno teases his question. His voice sounds more like goading, his hands are barely touching your bare thighs.

And you want to break down. 

You were right. He is doing this on purpose. You're starting to panic at the possibility that he might not fuck you in the end. Because of it, you almost missed another accusation he's throwing at you. To your luck, the panic helped sharpen your focus.

Your ex might have the upper hand this whole time but there’s always a way to fight back. He’s not the only one with leverage. You know each other in and out after all. 

"I'm always needy for you..." 

Jeno's hands stop immediately. Your voice is breathy, almost to a whisper and paired with the neediest eyes you could muster, he didn’t stand a chance. The way your pretty eyelashes are batting at him, there's no other way but to give in. You pulled up that "innocent" look that has always worked on him in the past.

He doesn't even care whether you’re getting back at him or not, it always will.

“Mhmm, yeah, you always are. That didn’t change at least.” He grins down at you, his gloved hand now moving from your inner thighs to your damp core. Feeling your slick made him almost forget that you technically didn't answer his question. But nevermind that, he’d make sure this year’s catch up would be memorable for you. 

Jeno’s fingertips continued tracing your clothed pussy lips that've been getting puffier the more he presses on them. He parts your panties to the side the same time his lips return to yours, swallowing the little gasp that escaped your mouth as soon as his pads meet your glistening core.

He starts in with a finger and then another, moving them right away before adding a third one. Your brows furrow when he doesn’t go all the way, stopping right before the edge of his gloves touches your pussy lips.  

“Jeno—,” you cry, mouth gaping after realizing what he’s doing. You can take his punishment but not this time. There’s no way he’ll finger you like this. Yes, he can make you cum by playing with your clit alone but you've missed those thick fingers of his. The ache to be filled with them rises in you, your eyes welling at the frustration.

“Not enough,” you whine, your hips bucking desperately to have his fingers knuckle deep.

“I can’t stain my gloves baby,” he explains, his patronizing tone almost reviving your irritation from earlier. He can’t possibly be serious can he? You're contemplating your next move, thinking of actually getting back at him but the silent threat that he won’t fuck you continues to hang in the air. 

“Not even for me?” you tried again, dismissing your initial idea, the worry overriding after that reminder. 

Weren’t you desperate enough? It’s not enough for him?

Jeno was taken aback when you pulled his neck down to kiss him feverishly. You’re bolder than before, the desperation showing through your kisses and should’ve made him glad but it's the opposite. He isn't sure what to feel about it. On one hand, he’s glad you’re like this with him. Between the two of you, he was the bolder one and with this side of you coming out, it brings his own insecurities to the surface. 

Being each other’s first, you’ve explored sex together until the day you decided to part ways. It’s inevitable; entering college fresh from breakup so you’re bound to learn more with other guys instead. Jeno would be a hypocrite if he judges you for it. He certainly tried to distract himself as his friends have advised him, the possibility that you could be doing the same thing drove him to consider it.

Jeno just didn’t think the whole thing would bother him this much. Seeing this new side of you stirs that small regret from the back of his mind.

He’s the one you should’ve learned this with.

Determination fires up in him to prove that he’s way better, that he’s still the best. Without answering your question, he pushes his fingers all the way, coaxing a sharp moan out of you. 

“Shit, you’re gonna drench my bike at this rate,” he comments, pretty surprised. His teasing only spurs you to get off his bike, allowing his fingers to reach you all the way. You didn’t waste any more time and grabbed his wrist to move it at your own pace while he’s still stunned.

“Mmmm, it’s what you prefer, right?”

You let out a giggle after, clearly enjoying how your ex is struggling to keep his face neutral at the little show you're putting up for him. He’s very much affected by you still, if his tightening grip around your waist is to be considered.

But that didn’t last.

His free hand moved up to your neck after he recovered, his large palm wrapping around your throat. You feel the ring on his index finger, the scratch from the metal pulling you to meet his eyes. His pupils are blown out making you gulp, expecting another taunt but underneath his hardened gaze, the hunger is palpable. 

“Nervous?”

“No.” 

“Prove it then. Move, babe.”

He challenges you and flicks your hand out of his wrist. You whimper at that but Jeno didn't pay you no mind. Though his eyes are full of lust, he's staring you down with a quirked brow and your pussy clenched around his fingers, pulling another smirk from his chiseled face.

You don’t know what he’s playing at but you move your hips anyway. The edges of the leather skin of the glove rubs deliciously along your pussy lips, brushing your swollen clit. Your hips roll faster to chase the friction, your whole body assisted by a hand leaning on Jeno’s bike for extra support. The other claws at his bare arm, your nails digging in his pale skin when you think he’s about to squeeze your throat.

But Jeno doesn’t. His hand is perfectly still, but still in control, rooting your upper body. The anticipation has been killing you but his stare didn’t falter. He could be teasing you again so you swivel your hips more, afraid he’ll change his mind any minute. He’s giving you the full control on your pace but whose to say he won’t punish you for it later?

It’s what Jeno loves the most—watching you like this.

Almost half dressed with your askewed top, your face flushed from his ministrations, mouth gaping at his fingers scissoring you. Your dazed eyes are pleading for him to do more, your pussy has been clamping around his fingers when he stopped moving his gloved hand.

But Jeno’s attention’s not even on that.

His eyes are on the red lines adorning his pale arm, the result of your endless scratching. Not that he’s complaining. He’s actually hooked—to the pain from your nails, to the way your body unravels under his fingers without much effort from him and how beautiful your face contorts from pleasure to shock of betrayal when he suddenly pulls them off.

"J-Jeno?” 

One second you were about to cum, the next, you were feeling empty that you almost screamed. You didn't get to react much, too confused and shocked at what your ex-boyfriend did. He didn't answer you, only stepping back from your shaking form. He’s got that wild look in his eyes as he eyes you down, the smug smile returning to his chiseled face, making your knees buckle. Your legs are wobbling, your hand clutching the leather motorseat as panic rises again in you when you realize that Jeno removed himself completely from your body. The instinct to reach for him is there but your body’s convulsing from the impending orgasm he just denied you.

And he’s out here wiping his slicked gloved fingers over his denim pants instead.

As a last resort, you peeled your jacket off and fling it over the seat, immediately reaching under your top to unhook your strapless bra hoping you’ll convince Jeno. He gives you an impassive stare and turns away, like you’re a mere nuisance that was too needy for him to take care of. You watch him in horror as he proceeds to pick up the basket with his clean hand, ready to head towards the field. 

The indifference almost made you cry but you bravely tried again.

“Wait,” you blurted out, chest heaving. “Why?”

The resentment is evident in your voice but Jeno only gives you a sly smile. He's aware how cruel he's being but there’s a sick part of him that wants to test your limits. He wanted to see if he can still break you down like before—a reminder that your body is still his. There’s nothing he hates more than labelling you as his mere ex, something his friends love to remind him whenever they find him moping about you. 

"You don't want to eat? Chenle helped me prepare these." He raises the basket in front of you, treating this like another normal conversation. You definitely don't want what he's offering even if Chenle's dear to you. Shifting his attention to the food supposedly made for you escalates the betrayal in your chest.

He’s acting like his fingers weren’t in you a few minutes ago.

If he thinks this faux concern will excuse him from his behaviour, he’s wrong. The game’s not over and he’s tested you to the brim already. All your mind can think about is how to convince him to let you cum. Undressing’s not even gonna work at this point but you still have a chance. Being bratty will only push Jeno to continue punishing you and that's the last thing you want so you let the frustration fizzle, knowing you’d have to play along if you want him to fuck you. 

Shaking your head at him, you turn to his precious bike to refocus. It's one of your favourites to be fucked on which was probably why he’s acting this way. He treats it about as equally as you and he's fully aware how much you love riding it with him.  

"Later..fuck me here first, please.."

You managed to stop Jeno from walking further, pulling him back to you. He returns but doesn't answer, just looking at you intently. You didn't waste any more time and loop your arm round his muscled one. You cling to him, pressing your whole body in desperation, letting him feel your chest.

You hear the hitch in his breath and you smile triumphantly, resting your head on his broad shoulders to nuzzle yourself on him even more.

It took Jeno a moment to realize that you’ve removed your bra, feeling your soft breasts rubbing against his arm. He looks down at your needy face, then to your chest, noticing your nipples getting perky at the friction through your thin top. He couldn't tear his gaze away from them until your other hand reached out for his belt, your hands tugging the loop which pulled another chuckle from him.

He was right. It is only a matter of time.

"You could've just told me you wanted to be fucked on my bike."

Jeno scoffs as he drops the picnic basket back to the ground. He has a knack of keeping his voice too leveled that you couldn't tell if he's mocking you or just amused unless he wants it to be. But it doesn't deter you. Instead of letting the sting from earlier linger, you give him your most seductive smile and press yourself on him more, your eyes flitting up to his lips.

"Thought you'd figure it out by now." 

The clap back slips from your mouth before you can stop it. But instead of worrying at Jeno's retaliation, you feel a little pride in you as you whisper them into his lips. You’d have to at least clap back a little at him a little and this might be your best one so far.

Plus, it doesn't take much to get into your ex's skin.

Jeno’s eyes darkened at your remark and before you know it, he spins you around, bending your body over his motorbike. You can't see him but his focus is solely on you, his hands roaming around your body while you're grappling to hold yourself and his bike steady. Your pulse quickens, the excitement coursing through your veins at the way he’s maneuvering your body. 

"You're saying I don't?"

Rage erupted in Jeno along with his insecurities at your implication. That he doesn’t know you anymore. His voice lacked that usual neutral tone, the frustration’s bleeding into him and it only excites you more. Jeno prides being patient among his friends, being the calmest when everything’s in chaos around him.

Not when it comes to you though. A few words or a gesture is enough to break his composure. 

"N-No! That's not what I meant—fuck" 

Jeno cuts you off with his palm meeting your backside, earning that loud moan from you. He flips your skirt after, exposing your damp core to the cold breeze. 

“Then what did you mean hmm? That you’re still my slut?” 

“Y-Yes! Yes I am!”

You were hoping the admission would make him touch you but to no avail. He's still not touching you, letting the silence swallow you as he contemplates what to do. Humiliation starts creeping in but you were far too desperate to give up now. You push your hips back and you swear you heard a stifled groan from him.

Another plea threatens to leave your mouth but his hands move to your clutch your waist. 

“Really?” 

His voice is low, as if he didn't hear you clearly. You badly want to turn around to see his handsome face but you don't want to risk another delayed orgasm.

“Yeah. I want it, want your cock in my slutty pussy,” you emphasize with another wiggle of your hips. That should be desperate enough for him to finally fuck you.

But Jeno's hands remained. Only when you try looking back at your ex do you feel his hold tighten. He’s prolonging this for whatever reason, not even letting you look at him. His firm grip keeps you still and you're tearing up again.

“Of course you do…” he mused and began unbuttoning his pants. He stares down at your enticing body displayed in front of him, admiring how pliant you are.

Shit. His hard cock twitches at the view.

“You let any guy have this while I’m away..” he pauses, hands spreading your cheeks to see more of your sopping pussy. You feel the blunt of his tip, tracing along your wet folds, slightly dipping in then out again. “Do I even need to fuck you?”

You wanted to cry in frustration.

“Not bare..never, please Jeno, I only do that with you. Please fuck me.”

Your admission pushes Jeno to finally enter you, the both of you emitting a loud moan, the stretch from his cock knocking out your breath. Oh how you’ve missed his cock. Despite having good fucks with other guys, no one can reach you this deep aside from him. Exploring has been good but Jeno just does it differently. He’s had years learning your body that no other guys have and won’t ever have.

“Damn, still so tight,” He groans, both hands returning on your waist. Once he reached the hilt, he stayed still. "Big—Jen..fuck" you cry and Jeno couldn't help but draw his hips back slowly until the tip of his cock almost leaves your pussy then pushes back again.

Being the good ex-boyfriend that he is, he waits until your hips begin moving. He starts off slowly at first to let you adjust, that sick part of him resurfacing watching your pussy struggle in taking him in.

Good. It’ll always be a reminder for you and your pussy that he’s the biggest you’ll ever have. 

Despite being sensitive from your ruined orgasm, you've been responding to his thrusts, your hips meeting his with every stroke. Jeno’s trying to be careful but you’re making it too hard with the way your walls are clamping around his dick. Your breathy whines only spurs him to fuck you harder, his pace gradually increasing. 

Something’s different this year. You and Jeno had fucked many times during your catch ups but tonight, he feels like he has to prove something. It’s odd but a small pride booms inside your chest. No matter how many girls he fucked since you broke up, he still cares about how he fucks you.

Jeno's always been confident. Not the flashy kind but the quiet one because he knows his skills and the efforts he puts in to developing them. He’s excellent at many things, particularly in satisfying women’s needs. It's why many of them return, begging for another chance and Jeno sometimes does, depending on what he feels at that time. But most of the time, he's too occupied to entertain them.

Then there's you.

He knows you well enough that whenever you meet, you’d still count on him, at least for a good fuck. That should be enough to appease his insecurities but that nagging thought continues to irk him; that there could be another man who can match the standards you’ve set; that soon, someone else will be able to replace him. 

The scenario made him pour out his frustrations on you—in rapid snaps of his hips. 

“Oh, so good, baby..” you moan the words with sharp gasps, snapping Jeno out of his thoughts. His thrusts almost paused, his mind reeling if heard the last word correctly. After your break up, you never once called him again with those pet names that he loves to call on you. You’d only call him his name or nickname, nothing else even if you’re fucking.

Until now. Jeno's regaining all that privilege, while you’re fucking back at him.

“Yeah? Bet you miss me fucking you like this,” he grunts, delivering another hard thrust. You nod profusely, struggling to breath with how fast he’s going at it. “Yeah, I do, fuck—miss you…ah” 

Jeno’s heart swells to know that you miss him even if he only hears it when you’re fucking. He doesn't mind any of that though but hearing it straight from your mouth is different. Don't get him wrong, he does know you miss him. Even if you don’t outright tell him, your body language is enough. The longing looks and lingering touches when he's around; the way your tone changes when talking to him unless you want to be a brat. They haunt him every time your yearly meet up is over and he misses you even more. He’s always fighting for his life to not text or call you until that slip up.

Jeno never regretted sending those texts. In fact, he was fucking happy that he slipped. That him texting you bothered you enough to the point that you flaked on your fling that night. Small things are always a big deal for Jeno when you’re involved. He couldn’t afford to be choosy when he agreed to break up with you. 

It wasn't like he really wanted it but again, it's for the best.

“You’re taking my cock well.” He muses, pounding into you more. Jeno's hands move up to cup your breasts, massaging them through your top. He's tempted to pull off your top but you're determined tonight.

Jeno’s not sure if he’ll get used to this although he should be. A part of him is glad that he’s able to bring this side out of you but another part doesn’t want any man to see you like this. The mere thought of others having this view prompts Jeno to grab your shoulder blade for him to raise your upper body, arching your spine more in the process.

The instant change knocks you out of your breath, pushing you to lock your elbows straight. Jeno reaches you deeper at this angle, his cock hitting that soft spot inside you that had you seeing stars. All the taunting he threw at you loops in your mind too, that desire to please him magnifying with each roll of your hips.

“Jeno—I’m close, nngh..” 

You tried. You really did, to not cum this quickly but you’re too sensitive and he denied it to you already. 

“Me too, babe..fuck” 

A moan of relief leaves your lips at his words but that didn’t last long. Your laboured breathing and Jeno's groans join in the series of skin slapping that echoes through the dark but neither of you care. No one passes here around this time of night anyway, more privacy for you and Jeno although it's far from it.

You've been too focused to keep everything in, your legs shaking from the intensity but then your ex sneaks his hand around to rub your pebbled clit. 

“In me, Jeno, please!” you managed to mutter when you feel him pulling out. Your ex-boyfriend pushes back in, pressing his muscled body against yours. “Fuck, fuck—okay, shit..” he rasps against the shell of your ear, punctuating each word with a thrust and the dam breaks. Your body collapses over the leather seat as your pussy milks him dry. 

Jeno follows your suit, pumping all his cum inside you like you asked, his pace eventually slowing down as you both ride your highs. He peppers your bare shoulders with open mouth kisses, his palms caressing your waist to offer some comfort. As sweaty as you both are from the intense fucking, Jeno couldn’t stay apart from you yet, enveloping you in with his whole body, careful not to put his weight on you nor on this bike.

“You did so well baby.”

He whispers against your temple, kissing your flushed skin as he gently delivers his final thrust.

“Am I forgiven?”

Shock hits Jeno in the face at your question. Your voice sounded so small that the remaining lust coursing through his body dissipates. He freezes, his attention fully on your body’s current state. He badly wants to turn you to face him but he's noticed the tight grip of your hands on the motor seat. Although you tried to hide your hiccups from crying, they still slip out and his chest tightens. 

“What? For what?”

You didn't answer.

Jeno did this to you.

He gives you time before pulling out slowly, gently squeezing your waist, hoping you'll finally face him. Fear joins the worry he already feels, scared of what he’ll find when you do. Your body turns around right away, offering him a meek smile but he wasn't convinced. He scours your face and you turn away, clearly afraid to show him what you feel but he catches your chin.

Jeno lifts your head and there he notices the tears streaking your flushed face. The urge to ask you again strikes him but you look like you’re on the verge of crying. So instead, he kisses you; hesitant but soft, he waits for you to reciprocate which you instantly did, clutching his muscled arm for support. 

Although the kiss erases Jeno’s worries, it also shows him that you need a little break. Your reluctance to answer his question cracked his heart into pieces. He doesn’t know what you mean by this, the only assurance he got was you not pushing him back when he initiated the kiss. Clearly, it's not the time to have this conversation here. You’re still recovering from the oversensitivity and he didn't wanna push you emotionally too. The talk needs to be handled with care and he wants you to be comfortable when the time comes.

When you both separate to catch your breath, you share a warm smile with your ex-boyfriend before he moves to open the underseat storage. Immediately, your chest tightened at the sight of a very familiar helmet. When your eyes landed on the intricate design circling the visor, memories flashed at once. Not just when you were wearing it but also designing it when Jeno first got his bike.

“Do you want it back?”

“I don’t have a motorbike, Jeno.”

“For decorative purposes.” 

You didn't know what to respond to that so you chose not to. The lump in your throat that you were hoping to disappear after the kiss stayed and you don't know why. You never worry when it happens because your ex-boyfriend never pushes you to answer. In both times, Jeno merely waits for you which you'll always be grateful to him for.

He takes a glance at you before pulling down the seat to close it. You lean back on it right away to rest and Jeno’s hand reaches for your thighs. He spreads them with his gloved hand and you widen your legs for him to kneel in between them. Like clockwork, you crumpled up your skirt to assist him. 

Your ex-boyfriend takes his time wiping down your pussy and inner thighs in silence. Jeno's brows furrow in focus and it reminds you of how meticulous he is with everything he does. Watching him like this flutters your heart, to see the both of you naturally swinging back to your habits with one another. 

After pulling your skirt back down, Jeno opens his palm for you to take. You grab it and give him a squeeze, a small form of reassurance that you're okay. He gives you that soft smile then proceeds to retrieve the picnic basket from the grass. You both walk hand in hand towards the area near the cliff, in silence while admiring what's around you.

Jeno lets you be once you dropped his hand the moment the skyline was visible. Your face brightens as excitement immediately fills you up, running off weakly to the fence without looking back at him. He watches you fondly although the urge to remind you to slow down bubbles up. But then, he doesn’t want to kill the fascination on your face while breathing in the view.

The plain field offers enough space that you’re surprised how no one really comes here except you and Jeno. Maybe they do when you're not around but in a way, you’re grateful because this became a special place for you and him. Jeno found this secluded area from your hiking date before you started dating. Right before the sun sets, he asked you to be officially his. Since then, it has become your favourite place to relax, returning there from time to time whenever you both feel like hiking.

It's also the reason why you both chose to catch up here after your breakup. 

The view has always taken your breath away on each visit. You can see the entire city from here, the sprawled tapestry of lights from the buildings contrasting the darkness around you. It’s only once a year that you get to experience this beauty because you refuse to come here without Jeno. It feels weird coming here alone, you’ll just miss him and will try to contact him which is against the rules.

It took you almost a minute before realizing that Jeno didn’t follow you. Usually he does and that’s how your catch up begins. The worry resurfaces until you turn around and find him laying out the contents from the basket. You head towards where he is and immediately notice the snacks you’re going to devour tonight. Watermelon slices, glazed doughnuts, a pack of jellies and gummies and some almond bites—his favourites.

Now you feel a little bad for not bringing anything. You could've brought yours to share with him too but you both never plan your meet up though. You and Jeno preferred your catch up to flow naturally to avoid stress on you both.

However, it still did. This year’s meet up does, like the first time.

The heavy tension lingers in the air and the silence has been stressing you. 

Your ex-boyfriend hasn’t talked since you joined him. He hasn’t even looked at you and the silence, once comforting to you, is starting to eat you up. Even if Jeno brought out some of your favourites too, your eyes stayed on him, waiting while your heartbeats’ gradually became faster. You want to start talking like usual but at the same time, you're afraid to break the silence. It’s peaceful right now, a perfect time for you to also recover from the intense fucking earlier.

The moon above is shining just right tonight—the ideal atmosphere to ease a conversation and yet Jeno’s fighting to maintain his composure. He’d been feeling the weight of your stares since you returned and for some reason, he couldn’t open his mouth to say anything. Thankfully, you didn’t catch him earlier as you were too enthralled with the view to notice he stayed back to watch you instead.

Jeno lets out a quiet sigh after emptying the basket. He lies on his side on the picnic mat, looking up at the sky to gather his thoughts carefully. He knows you’ve been waiting for him to say something. Perhaps he was too but he couldn’t even look at you yet.

The nerves are kicking in.

He’s fucking up again and you’re already hurt. Your last question replays in his head and right now, he can’t believe he’s begging the stars to give him some direction like how they did to humans since the beginning of time. 

You noticed. Of course you do, you always do. Your eyes have never missed any subtle changes in Jeno's body language. You wonder what’s on his mind this time. When you saw the guilt in his eyes earlier, you didn’t understand it right away, your brain still high from the rush of orgasm. When he doesn't follow you to the edge of the cliff, you remember that there are many things you need to talk about tonight.

You mimic his position, your bare legs fully on display, hoping it’ll get his back his attention. It worked. Jeno’s eyes went straight on them but to your dismay, he still hasn’t said a word.

This night can’t go on like this.

You're giving him the time but maybe he’d been waiting for you too. A talk about the constellation would surely break the tension and divert both your attention to it.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Your body freezes at his words. You couldn’t believe you’re hearing his words right when you were gonna talk. 

“What?”

The turmoil inside you got worse, multiple emotions surging at once but mainly the shock and panic are getting you overwhelmed again. Jeno’s confession pulled one of your biggest fears. 

Losing him for good. 

Is this it? Will this be the final time you’ll ever see him? Does he not love you anymore? Is there a new girl in his life that he’s about to tell you about and this meetup's for a closure?

All those questions must've shown on your face but Jeno's too nervous to notice which is better for your part. You brace yourself for his next words when he shifts his anxious eyes back on you.

"Pretending that I'm okay with this setup when all I've ever wanted is you." 

“Oh.” 

It is a closure but not the kind you have in mind. You reacted so soon and Jeno has caught on now that he's looking at you, his eyes shifting from nervous to worry. You've been speechless for a close to a minute but you were just surprised. Between the two of you, you didn’t think he’d be the one to admit first, fully expecting him to skirt around the topic at least.

“But aren't you mad?”

"No baby. I was jealous and scared I lost you for good." He quietly admits, his voice shaking a little. This is so atypical of Jeno and you would've teased him if you weren't still overwhelmed.

"We had an agreement, remember? Plus, you literally just fucked me."

"I know but I can't help it, I'm sorry."

The slight whine in his apology should've melted you. Instead, you’re struggling with how to react. You were ready to adjust like always but why is he confessing now? You thought you’ve calmed down from the simultaneous emotions but confusion, in particular is eating you up. On one hand, you’re happy at his honesty and apology but the uncertainty is still there. Yes, he wants you but how?

“Let’s eat Jen, I'm starving.” You smile awkwardly at him when you can't find the right words to answer. Jeno looks away with a rueful smile and a nod, then hands you a tupperware of fruits to start off. It’s both annoying and endearing how attuned you and your ex boyfriend are. Confusion aside, he understood that you’re still not ready and had been patient with you.

The one trait he had that made you fall for him in the first place.

“Are they good?” He asks hesitantly, pertaining to the dumplings he made with Chenle.

“Yeah, surprisingly. Thank Lele for me.” You muse, munching another one. Jeno chuckles before taking a quick picture of you and the remaining pieces, knowing he’ll get an earful from his friend if he doesn’t document your reactions to it. 

For a while, the two of you have gone back to silence. The mood now is different, the heaviness easing up a little. It’s comfortable like this, enjoying your favourites while watching each other discreetly. The awkwardness gradually dissipated which you’re grateful for. You thought the night was already ruined and you’d have to end this catch up sooner.

What a relief that the tables have semi-turned.

A snicker escapes you while Jeno's munching a pack of gummies. You find him fixated on your legs again as he chews each gummy bear absentmindedly. With your giggly outburst, his eyes averted back to you instantly, blinking slowly that made your smile wider.  

Like he’d been caught. Cute.

You can sense his impending protest and immediately lean closer, still giggling but your attention’s fully on his lips now. He meets you halfway, pressing his sugar coated lips from the glazed doughnut he just devoured. You savour the sweetness in between kisses, biting his plump lower lip to ask for entrance, which he did with a groan. 

Jeno can not only taste the saccharine in your mouth but on your actions too. You’re holding his face, fingers tracing his sharp jaw with delicate a touch that tugs his heartstrings more than he likes to admit. In return, he tugs your body, his palm finding your waist to pull you closer. 

The emotions he’d been caging in starts to spill out and any hesitation vanishes the moment he meets your longing stare. He wants more of you and he’s frankly tired of holding himself back anymore.

"I still love you,” he whispers before diving in for another kiss. ”I don’t think it ever stopped." 

"I love you too."

You’re tearing up as you say the words. It’s been years since you’ve spoken the phrase out loud, at least to another guy. One made it close to that and if this yearly meetup you have with your ex hadn’t existed, there’s a chance that you'll say the phrase again sooner but not to Jeno. You even remembered the last time you said it, on your last date before your break up. 

Thinking about the phrase made you recoil ever since.

Jeno beams at your response. The corners of his eyes crinkle up into half-moons that have always lightened up your mood. Watching him intently, you notice the relief creeping up to the slight nervousness in his eyes. He looks like he wants to say more, and with an encouraging nod from you, he starts.

Jeno then reaches out to your thigh, finally touching the bare skin he’d been eyeing the whole night. His touch feels warm despite his hand shaking but you didn’t bother to point it out. He never does when you’re nervous around him. 

“If you're done here, I would want you to come with me.” 

He looks away after saying it, kneading the meat of your thigh while waiting for you to answer. 

So this was why he’s nervous, unsure.

"You won't mind if I say goodbye?” you test it out with a hint, see if he’ll let you. “To wrap up things here…properly." 

You watch his nose scrunch as you drop another hint but instead of confronting you with it, he nods with another firm squeeze of your thigh.

Jeno truly surprised you tonight.

"Go ahead, I'm not in the position to stop you. I have no right, not yet."

Your ex boyfriend didn’t argue like you expected. He didn't try to convince you to change your mind, to demand reasons why you couldn’t just leave with him right away. The Jeno from years ago would've vehemently opposed the idea. He would question you the details until you’re left to tell him everything but now…he truly did change for the better. 

So did you. 

“You’re really fine with it?” 

“I can wait. I was able to wait for years. This is nothing.”

He pretended to sound offended and you merely chuckled. Jeno has been waiting this whole time—like you did. Honestly, you find the whole situation funny enough.

“We’re both so stupid.” you shake your head, sighing out loud. "We wasted so much time when we still love each other." You deadpanned but Jeno shakes his head.

“You and I needed to grow separately and we’re still growing babe,” he squeezes your thigh for comfort. You raise a brow at him, that mischievous smile returning on your lips before grabbing a piece of almond bites to throw his way. He annoyingly caught it with his mouth, smirking at you as if to ask for more.

How dare he use his sharp jawline to distract you.

“Definitely more mature than before.” You chuckle and take the last piece for yourself, much to his faux disappointment. “Enough to try again?” He queries, his smirk turning into a hopeful smile. “I, too, am tired babe.”

“We’ll be better, baby. We’ll communicate better.”

“And we don’t need to rush Jen, we’ll get there, together.”

Jeno’s truly happy with your decision. His main dilemma was finally resolved. Still, he hates how the nerves linger despite the result he was hoping for. He was unsure if you’ll say yes earlier and even if you just did, the fear of fucking up again looms over him and will probably stay for a while. That's something he'll definitely work on with you.

Trusting himself more that is.

Now that you’re both a little bit older, you finally feel ready to rekindle what you had, frontal lobe developing and all. You’re clearly still in love with one another so going back and forth is no use anymore. This time around, it’s going to be better and you both promised to take things slow, not repeat your old habits that prompted your break up.

It would never happen again. He’ll never let you go unless you want to.

That’s how much Jeno loves you.

“Oh.”

Diapers. Snotty noses. Looking after someone other than yourself. These were not things you were used to.

Jeno’s lips stretched into an awkward smile.

“I should have told you earlier. I understand if you don’t want to-”

“I still want to.”

The truth was, after a long string of disappointing dates, Jeno was the first man in a while who actually made you feel excited.

You gestured for your door. “Shall we…”

Jeno shook his head. “I’ve got go home and dismiss the baby sitter.”

You sighed. “Oh, right. Silly me.”

“But… I only live a few streets down. Maybe you could come with me?”

His dark eyes crinkled into half moons. You swear you saw his cheeks flush.

You smiled. “Lead the way.”

—

Jeno’s bedroom was impeccably neat and organised. All of the bedding and decor was various shades of grey and black. The only thing that stood out was one bright pink strawberry plushie in the middle of the bed.

You absentmindedly squished the plushie as you waited for Jeno to pay the babysitter.

You felt like your heart was beating out of your chest, which was strange, because this wasn’t the first time you’d slept with someone on the first date.

You weren’t quite sure what you should do. Should you strip and wait for him naked, like they did in the movies? You decided that was too much, so you just sat there.

The door opened, and Jeno walked in.

“Thanks for waiting. Miyu took a while to settle down.”

The mattress dipped as he sat down beside you. His smell, clear and citrus, filled your senses.

“I take it this is hers?”

You held out the strawberry plushie.

Jeno chuckled and gently took it from your hands.

“You know… six year olds and their passions.”

He rolled the plushie into the corner of the room, and then turned back to face you.

You sucked in a breath.

The only light in the room came from an orange lamp on the nightstand. It cast a warm glow on Jeno’s face, and stretched his lashes into long shadows.

He was looking at you with deep, unreadable eyes. It made you feel naked despite you being fully clothed. He stayed absolutely still.

You touched his hand.

“Is everything alright?”

“Y/n. It’s been a long time since I… with someone… I mean I- I’m not-”

You leaned forwards and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, quietening him.

“Is this okay?”

Jeno didn’t answer. Instead, he placed a hand behind your head and pulled your mouth onto him. His lips were hesitant at first, but soon, he matched your pace, kissing you deeply. Every time his tongue brushed yours, you felt a sparkle in your core.

You kissed down his neck, running your tongue across his prominent collarbones. Jeno moaned.

“Take this off,” you said, tugging at his grey woollen jumper.

Jeno leant back slightly and pulled the jumper over his head.

When you got a look at his body, your mouth dropped open.

Jeno’s broad shoulders and long chest tapered into a deliciously narrow waist. His skin was impossibly smooth, and each ridge of muscle looked like it had been carved out of marble. You imagined what it would be like to kiss him all the way down.

“Oh my god, Jeno. Your body is insane. I had no idea you were hiding all of,” you gestured at his muscles, “that under there.”

A red, splotchy blush rose up Jeno’s neck.

“I guess I work out,” he said, peeking at you through his lashes.

You ran your fingers down the firm plane of his chest. When you brushed his nipple, a low sound escaped his throat. He grabbed your wrist on instinct, but didn't tell you to stop.

You grinned. “Understatement of the century.”

You reached forwards and wrapped your hands around Jeno, desperate to feel him. You pressed your body against his, your hands sliding down his warm back. His heart was rapid, thumping against your chest.

You were acutely aware that you were fully clothed and he was naked.

Jeno reached round to the back of your dress, his fingers fumbling with the zip. After a few tries, he managed to get the zip all the way down. You shrugged the dress off your shoulders and let it slide down your body.

Jeno’s eyes went wide when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra underneath.

“You’re so… hot,” he whispered, looking at your breasts.

He leant forwards and sucked one nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirled around your nipple. He cupped your other breast with his hand, kneading it gently.

You felt yourself grow wet.

Instinctively you reached your hand into his lap, squeezing the stiff bulge beneath his jeans.

Jeno gasped and pulled away from you.

“If you do that, I’m going to-” His black glassy eyes met yours. “It really has been so long since I even thought about sex. Having Miyu around means that all I think about is pick up and homework and when her next shots are due-”

You put a finger over his lips.

“Can you not talk about your daughter right now?”

Jeno nodded. “Right. Yes, you’re right. Sorry, did I ruin the moment?’

He let out a shaky breath. His fingers twitched, like he didn’t know what to do with them.

“You didn’t ruin anything. Why don’t you go and get a condom?”

“That I can do.”

Whilst Jeno left the room, you shimmied out of your panties, and lay down on the bed. You reached between your legs, and were not surprised to feel that you were soaking wet.

Jeno came back into the room, groaning when he saw you playing with yourself.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and watched whilst he undressed. Jeno pulled down his jeans, and then his boxers.

Your gaze ran up his muscled thighs and over his lean hips. His cock, wide and flushed, was stiffening under your gaze. You were dazed at the sight of him.

“I’m not sure that’s going to fit.” It was hard to keep the excitement out of your voice.

Jeno’s hand slipped down to his cock. He stroked himself, the veins in his forearms bulging with the effort.

You shuffled so that you were sitting on the edge of the bed. Jeno stood between your spread legs, brows furrowed in concentration.

His fingers were too shaky to rip open the foil of the condom wrapper, so you did it for him. You rolled the condom onto him, hearing him hiss when your hands came into contact with his cock.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

Jeno slid his cock across your wet lips, sliding over your clit and making you jolt. He rubbed himself up and down over you, gathering your wetness.

He jerked his hips forwards. You felt the tip of his cock, heavy and warm, squeeze against your pussy.

He pushed it in, just an inch.

You felt a pleasurable burn as his cock slowly entered you. He inched forwards, with a slow but constant force. The uncomfortable stretch slowly turned into a delicious friction.

“More,” you whispered.

Jeno pushed all the way into you with one long, slow thrust. You both let out a groan.

You looked at Jeno’s face. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his mouth hung half open.

Jeno began to thrust properly, his sharp hips slapping against yours at a rapid pace. One of his large hands came down to caress the curve of your ass as he fucked into you.

Each thrust knocked the air out of your lungs. You had never felt so full.

“I won’t last long,” Jeno said, his head dipping down to your neck. He kissed your sensitive skin.

You reached your hand between your legs and started to rub tight circles around your clit, desperate to reach your climax at the same time as him.

Jeno’s thrusts turned sloppy.

“Y/n, I’m going to-”

He pushed himself in, deep, deeper than he’d been before, and then stilled. He let out a long, low groan, and slumped onto you.

The weight of him on top of you surprised you. You were completely trapped between his muscled body and the bed, his cock still buried to the brim in your pussy.

You squeezed his arm.

“Jeno- too heavy!”

He rolled to the side, groaning as he pulled himself out of you. He quickly removed the condom and lay down beside you.

“Did you finish?” His dark eyes watched you curiously.

You smiled. “Almost.”

Jeno’s gaze followed your fingers as they skirted down your stomach and hips, and dipped down to your pussy.

You felt a flood of wetness as you rubbed yourself. Goosebumps rippled over your body. It was so hot to be watched.

Jeno was watching you intently, like he was memorising your every move. You let your eyes fall shut as your instincts took over.

You pushed two fingers deep into your pussy. The second you did, your orgasm washed over you. It was so strong that you started to shake.

You opened your eyes, sighing. You looked down to see that Jeno was growing hard again.

“You’re so amazing,” he said.

You felt your cheeks warm, suddenly shy.

“So… wanna go on a second date?”

Jeno laughed. He grasped you by your waist and pulled you on top of him.

“Fuck yes.”

—

Jeno Masterlist ⭐️

MAIN MASTERLIST

Your life was simple. Work, sleep, eat. Rinse and repeat. Day after day, it was the same unchanging cycle, and strangely, you didn’t mind. There was a comfort in the predictability, a sense of stability that kept everything steady. This routine might have been repetitive, but it was reliable and safe. For as long as you could remember, you had lived by a quiet motto: Simplicity is security.

You didn’t go out much, only if absolutely necessary. Your hobbies were mostly indoor activities like reading, drawing, playing video games, or sewing small projects. The only thing that kept you from the comfort of your home most days was your job, but even that was about to change. You had recently been hired for a  work from home position that paid more than your previous job. When you found out that the new role would require you to move to a different town, you didn’t feel even a flicker of hesitation. Some might have called you a shut-in, but you saw it differently. To you, it was about protecting your peace

The day you moved in the neighborhood was quiet. Your apartment was tucked away on a cozy corner of the street. It was within walking distance of a small shopping center just a few blocks away, making errands convenient without the hustle and bustle. The apartment was a massive building that looked like it had seen better days. It resembled an old dormitory, its brick walls are weathered and moss creeps into the cracks. Despite its worn exterior, there was a certain character to the building. There was something warm and inviting about it.

The weather was dreary, gray clouds hung heavy in the sky threatening a light drizzle. Despite the gloom, you found yourself surprisingly upbeat.  Maybe it was the excitement of a fresh start, or perhaps it was the comfort of knowing you’d be in a familiar routine soon enough. Whatever it was, you clung to that small flicker of optimism as you carried your boxes inside.

The air inside smells faintly of old wood and dust. The wear and tear were evident. The paint on the wooden trim was peeling, and in some spots, the stairs bore dents and scratches where footsteps had worn down the wood over the years. 

You sat the last box from the U-Haul down with a satisfying thud. your arms aching from the day's work.The building had no elevators. Instead it just had a large, winding staircase that spiraled from the ground floor up to the upper levels. When you first received the keys to your apartment, you’d immediately complained about the lack of an elevator. The landlord had simply shrugged and explained that the old elevators had been deemed a hazard. The maintenance team had decided they were too risky to repair, so they’d been walled off and left untouched.

You breathe out a sigh, wiping your brow as you toss your keys onto the small table near the door. Your shoulders slump as you peel off your jacket, letting it fall to the floor. “I’ll return the U-Haul tomorrow,” you think with a quiet resignation. You have done enough today.

You settle onto the cool wooden planks of your walkway, stretching out on your back to cool down after the long day. Your eyelids flutter as fatigue sinks in. Just as you're about to drift off, faint voices drift through the open window. It sounded like playful bickering and laughter. You try to ignore it, but curiosity nudges you. You’re nosy by nature, Besides, nothing much ever happens in your quiet life. A bit of drama never hurt, especially when it’s not your own. You sit up slowly and glance outside. Through the window, you see a moving truck parked next to yours. Standing on the sidewalk is a broad-shouldered figure, patiently waiting as his smaller friend hurriedly loads boxes into his arms. You can’t see their faces, your window’s too high and the boxes obscure most of your view. You catch snippets of their voices. There is some teasing, some frustration, but mostly playful banter. You watch as they come and go, tossing boxes off the truck and joking around. Their laughter echoes softly in the quiet street.

After a few moments, you yawn and decide it’s time to retreat. You pull the blinds shut, feeling the tired ache in your feet. A long soak in the tub sounds perfect.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

It’s been a month since you moved in. Your days have once again settled into a predictable rhythm. Work, errands, sleep, repeat. Nothing much changes, and that's exactly how you like it. 

Early the next morning, your alarm buzzes insistently on your bedside table. You reach out and swipe it silent. You sit up and stretch before you toss on something comfortable. You settle on leggings and a loose top. Today’s plan was to beat the crowd to the farmers market by getting there right when it opens.

As you lock the door behind you, a sudden sound of footsteps makes your shoulders tense. You hate small talk with a passion. The idea of awkwardly exchanging greetings with neighbors feels like an unnecessary burden. The thought of having to stand there, forcing a polite smile and exchanging meaningless greetings, makes you start to retreat. Just as you finish unlocking the door a cheerful voice calls out, stopping you in your tracks before you can slip back inside.

“Oh! Hi! I don’t think I’ve had the chance to properly introduce myself.”

 You freeze mid step and turn toward the voice

Standing there is a tall figure, someone around your age. His smile is charming,  the kind that looks like it comes easy. His eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he regards you with friendly curiosity and extends a hand.

“I’m Jeno,” he says confidently. "I just moved in down the hall."

You blink, caught off guard by his charm. For a moment, words evade you as you meet his gaze. Your grip is light and tentative as you shake his hand. You mutter out your own greeting and you think you’re speaking loud enough, but Jeno has to lean in slightly to hear you better.

“Sorry, one more time,” he says.

You chuckle nervously, clearing your throat. “Sorry, I don’t talk to people very often,” you admit, raising your voice just a bit. “I’m Y/N” 

“It’s nice to meet you. I think I’ve seen you a few times. You’re kind of hard to come by,” Jeno jokes.

“I don’t leave the house much,” you reply with a small smile, crossing your arms and shrugging. “But unfortunately, I need to go to the grocery store today.”

“Really? Same here,” Jeno says, his eyes lighting up. “I just came back upstairs to grab my wallet. Do you want to go together? I usually hit the little farmers market around the corner. What about you?”

“Me too,” you say, forcing a smile. Inside, you’re practically melting down. You’ve never talked this long to any neighbor, especially not someone as charming as him. You want to run in the opposite direction, but your not sure how to politely decline.

You walk down the stairs together, and Jeno keeps talking, but you can’t even meet his eyes. This was probably your worse nightmare come true, trapped in conversation with a really attractive guy.

“Thanks,” you murmur softly as he holds the door open for you.

Jeno nods with a warm smile and follows behind you as you step outside. The morning sun casts a gentle glow on his features. 

“So,” he begins casually.  “How long have you been living here?”

You fiddle with your keys as you walk. “It’s been about a month now,” you reply. “Not too long. I guess I’m still getting familiar with the neighborhood.”

He nods thoughtfully, glancing around. “Yeah, it’s a pretty quiet spot. Not much happens around here, but I like that. It’s a nice change of pace from where I come from.”

Curious, you glance over. “Oh, really? Where'd you move from?”

He smiles. “A bigger city. It was always so loud and crowded. When I was younger, I loved it. I was always getting into trouble. But now… I need something calmer. This neighborhood seemed like the perfect place to start fresh.”

“You’ll have to tell me some of those stories.” You say.

You were curious about Jeno, he had such a sweet face that you didn't take him as a trouble maker. The conversation flows more smoothly now that you’ve warmed up to each other. You learn that it was mainly Jeno’s friends who dragged him into trouble. They sound like a fun group they way that Jeno describes them. You can't help but laugh through most of his stories.

As you approach the corner of the next street, the distant chatter from the farmers' market grows louder. When you finally arrive at the market, you both share a small smile.

“Thanks for walking with me,” you say softly. “It was nice talking to you.”

Jeno grins. “Same here. Hopefully we’ll bump into each other again.”

You turn to head toward your own shopping. The world feels a little less ordinary today.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

Later, you’re almost finished with your shopping, checking off the last item on your list. You put the carton of eggs in your basket when a familiar face catches your attention. Turning slightly, you see Jeno standing in the dairy aisle, examining a block of cheese. He catches your gaze with a gentle smile. ”Hey Stranger.” 

You find yourself smiling back.  Without thinking, your lips curl up into a genuine smile.

“Hi,” you reply and start fiddling with the handle of your shopping basket.

He closes the distance between you. “Are you done shopping?” he asks casually.

“Yup,” you say, glancing down at your list. “What about you?”

He nods. "Me too. How about we walk back together? I can carry all your bags, make it easier for you."

You let out a sigh, feeling a sense apprehension. The first walk wasn’t terrible, he was surprisingly pleasant company. But the thought of being alone with him again makes your stomach twist nervously. Still, you remind yourself that carrying all these groceries home alone isn’t exactly ideal either.

“Okay, let’s check out,” you decide.

As you approach the checkout line, you steal a glance at Jeno's basket. It's surprisingly empty, considering the length of your shopping trip. You're on the verge of asking where all his groceries are when you catch yourself, unsure if it would come off as rude or nosy. You bite your tongue and keep your thoughts to yourself.

Jeno steps forward, placing his meager items on the conveyor belt. He pays swiftly, then turns to you, his hands outstretched to help with your groceries.

When your turn comes to pay, Jeno beats you to it, his card already halfway through the reader. You reach for your wallet, but it's too late. He's already signed the receipt, a nonchalant smile on his face.

Your eyes widen in disbelief as you realize what he's done. Your jaw drops as you realize how much he had spent. You had put a  month's worth of groceries in your basket. Your hands shake slightly as you protest, "How could you pay for my things? That's too much!"

He waves off your concern, "It's no big deal. I don't mind at all."

"No, I need to pay you back," you insist. You hate the idea of owing anyone, and the thought of getting things for free makes you feel even worse. 

Jeno notices the seriousness in your expression and immediately softens. "Hey, you can just send me the money later," he says.

Relief washes over your shoulders, and you take a deep breath, feeling your tension ease slightly. Your shoulders relax as you nod, grateful but still feeling a bit awkward about the situation.

You make your way back to the apartment together. Once you make it home you ask Jeno for his cash app, venmo, paypal, or anything so that you could pay him back. He pauses for a beat, then pretends not to hear you. He helps you set your groceries down before he turns and walks off down the hall, leaving you standing there stunned. He had tricked you.

Jeno was an anomaly, something that shook up your daily routine. Jeno was unpredictable which made him dangerous in your eyes. Jeno was something you were not prepared for.

You don’t see Jeno for a while, choosing to stay inside most days, avoiding the outside world as much as possible. When it’s finally time to go to the market again, you pray to all the gods above that you won’t run into him. Just as you're about to head downstairs, a familiar voice calls out, “Can I join you?” 

Curse your luck.

He doesn’t even ask where you’re going, as if he already knows that you don’t leave for much other than shopping. You shake your head and keep walking, your steps steady and deliberate. Today, you really don’t want to be bothered. You’re wary of him buying your groceries again and putting you further in debt to him.

About halfway down the staircase, he calls out, confusion clear in his voice. "What’s wrong?"

You glance back at him, offering a small, polite smile. "Nothing, it's just easier to shop for myself if I go alone," you reply softly.

Jeno steps onto the middle landing, catching up to you. The sunlight from the wide window behind the staircase pours in. The window itself is tall and arched, with delicate stained glass details that catch the light and scatter tiny rainbows onto the stairs. He reaches out, his hand hovering near your waist, not touching, just trying to block your path. It's like a scene from one of the romance novels you read. 

"Listen, if it's about the last time, I'm sorry. I won't buy your groceries again if it means—" Jeno stops himself, rambling, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I should have asked. I didn’t think you would mind.”

It did make you uncomfortable. You're not used to this kind of attention, this level of closeness, you barely knew him. You know it was probably something stupid to complain about but the act of someone doing something nice for you just to hold it over your head wasn't a foreign occurrence. You instinctively step back just a little and speak again, your voice remains gentle but firm.

"It's okay," you say quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I just prefer to do things my own way. I appreciate your concern, but I’m used to taking care of myself." 

Your words are kind but clear, signaling that you’re not ready to accept his help or his proximity just yet.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

It doesn’t take a month this time for you to see Jeno. This time, it’s only two weeks.

You were busy playing a puzzle game on your DS when you heard the knock at your door. You groan in annoyance, your focus broken after ten minutes of trying to solve this frustrating puzzle. With a sigh, you shuffle over and crack the door open slightly, peering coldly through the crack.

Jeno stands there, a tentative smile on his face. “Hey, I’m sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie or something?”

There he was again, asking to be in your company, as if it was nothing. He really didn't know when to give up. You’ve never known anyone to take this much interest in you. You haven’t had much experience talking to guys, you didn't really like their attention.

“They just added the new Studio Ghibli movie on Netflix,” he says, biting his lip nervously. “You mentioned it briefly the last time we walked. I thought maybe we could watch it together.”

“I love those movies,” you say, your previous annoyance fading as you think about the new Ghibli film. Your face brightens, and a genuine smile spreads across your lips.

“I just need to finish this puzzle,” you add, glancing back at the DS screen.

“Puzzle? Can I help?” Jeno asks curiously.

You nod determinedly. Two brains are better than one, and as much as you’d like to just Google the answer, you’d rather phone a friend. Without hesitation, you step aside and gesture for him to come in. He slips off his shoes by the door and sets them next to yours.

His eyes scan your quarters as you lead him into the living room. Your apartment feels warm and inviting. Plants hang from the ceiling near the kitchen window, swaying gently. You had a desk set up in the dining room space that Jeno assumed you had made into an office area. The mood lighting in the corners of the living room casts a soft, warm glow over everything. The TV is mounted on the wall opposite a small, cluttered couch with a throw blanket and pillows that leave barely enough room to sit. 

You make space for him on the couch and hand him your Nintendo DS. “Here,” you say quietly. 

He takes the device, eyes flickering between the screen and you. You lean in slightly, hopeful. “So, we have to cross through all nine dots with just four lines,” you explain.

Jeno studies the screen. He fiddles with the controls, trying to find a solution, but he doesn’t have any better luck than you. About twenty minutes pass, and both of you sit there more confused than when you started.

Finally, you sigh and admit defeat. “Let’s just Google it. I give up.”

Jeno shakes his head, determination flickering in his eyes. “No, we can do this. Believe in us. We’re so close.”

“My brain is going to melt. Can we at least try another one? I’ve been stuck on that puzzle forever,” you say, frustration creeping into your voice. The movie has been long forgotten in the back of your mind as you and Jeno sit close on the couch. You’re practically perched on his shoulder, watching him maneuver your character through the game.

Jeno continues on trying to solve the puzzle, determined to not let a game out smart him. You don’t realize how close you’ve become until Jeno finally solves the puzzle and turns to look at you with a triumphant smile on his face. You’re about a breath away but Jeno doesn’t lean away yet. The air around you feels almost magnetic, as if something wants to pull you closer. You can feel the heat crawling up your face, and your heart pounds a little faster. In your embarrassment, you're the first to look away as you shift awkwardly on the couch.

Jeno tries his best to break the tension. “Do you work from home?” Jeno asks, changing the subject. His attention was towards your office space and wondered if that was the reason you never left home.

“I do,” you reply softly, grabbing a nearby pillow to hold in your lap for comfort. “ But lately I think maybe it’s not so good for me.”

Why do you say that?” he asks, turning his body to face you, his tone gentle.

You hesitate for a moment before speaking. “Well…before, at least I was forced to interact with people. But now since I don’t leave…there’s no one. I feel like I’m growing more antisocial by the day.”

Jeno nods in understanding. “You’re not as bad at socializing as you think,” he shrugs casually.

You shake your head and sigh. “You’re just saying that.”

Jeno sets down the DS on your coffee table and scoots closer to you, his expression earnest. “Hey, I mean it. I like you,” he says seriously. His eyes suddenly widen as he realizes what he just said, but he doesn’t take it back.

You blink twice before nodding slowly. “Thank you.”

Jeno offers a nervous smile. For the first time his eyes avoid yours as he awkwardly looks around your living room, trying to find something else to talk about.

“Do you still want to watch that movie?” He asks.

You nod with a shy smile, feeling a little nervous. You’d never watched a movie alone with a guy before, and right now, the setting feels unexpectedly intimate. You were so caught up in trying to solve your puzzles that you hadn’t realized how casual this all was.

“Let me know if it gets too cold,” you say, turning on the TV and settling into the couch.

Jeno nods, and you both focus on the screen. About halfway through, he shifts slightly to get comfortable, and somehow, he ends up even closer. His thigh pressed up against yours. The warmth from his body burns and your heart skips a beat.

You almost don’t hear him when he softly asks for a pillow. You follow his finger to the pillow resting in your lap, and your brow raises in question.

“You want to cuddle with one?” you ask.

He nods, pointing at the pillow in your lap. “I want that one,” he says with a daring smile.

Your eyebrows furrow and Jeno can't help but laugh at your expression. “Come on,” he says between a chuckle. “You have like ten pillows over there.”

“Choose another,” you say stubbornly.

He chuckles, amused by your stubbornness. “So stingy,” he teases. Then, without warning, he adds, “Fine, I'll just use you.”

You’re not sure what he means at first until he lays his head on your lap, looking up at you with a smile.

There’s something quietly domestic about the scene. The way his shoes sit beside yours by the door, him fighting over your favorite pillow and now his head resting in your lap. It feels intimate and unexpectedly comforting. 

Your heart flutters, but you quickly stomp down the feeling. Nothing good ever comes  from feeling things like this. You turn your attention back to the TV and press play on the movie.

You find yourself enjoying his company more than you expected. His warmth that seeps into your skin loosening up the tension in your body. You’re grateful he hadn’t made a move, that he was just content with cuddling and laughing along with you during the funny parts of the movie. It feels safe, but most importantly, it feels right.

When the credits roll, there's a bittersweet taste in your mouth. Your time with Jeno has come to an end.

You glance down, he had taken the pillow from your lap sometime during the movie and had been fidgeting with it. He was mindlessly humming along to the song that played during the credits.

You hesitate, your heart pounding a little. “Are you leaving now?” You finally ask.

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Jeno answers, sitting up and stretching. He stands up from the couch, a gentle smile lingering on his face. “It was nice hanging out with you today.”

You sit up a little too quickly at that. “Can we hang out again?” you blurt out, immediately cringing at how eager you sound. 

Jeno’s expression softens. “Of course we can,” he says.

His hand reaches out toward your face, and for a moment, you think he’s about to pull you into a kiss. Instead, he picks something out of your hair. “Sorry, there was a lint,” he says casually.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and a small, relieved laugh escapes. “Thank you,” you say softly, your voice trembling slightly as you manage a shy smile.

You walk him to the door and bid him farewell.

You stand there for a moment after he leaves. Your heart was pounding with that familiar, annoying flutter in your chest. A flicker of fear rises in you. You couldn’t fall in love with Jeno. Love hurt, and you already carried enough scars to last a lifetime.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

You’re in your apartment’s lobby, checking your mail when you hear the door open and close noisily. You look up, and your heart is immediately stolen. Sitting comfortably in Jeno’s arms is a fluffy white puppy. 

"Aw, how cute," you coo, hurrying closer. In your excitement, you completely forget about checking your mail, leaving your keys in the mailbox and the little door ajar.

Jeno smiles at you, “I prefer handsome, but cute works too,” he says jokingly .

You laugh at the quip before focusing back on the adorable puppy in his arms. “What’s his name?”

“Hayan,” he tells you with a soft smile. “He’s my friend’s dog. I’m just watching him while he’s out of town.” He shrugs. “I'm more of a cat person.”

“Hi, Hayan!” you coo. “What does his name mean? Hayan?” you ask, tilting your head curiously at Jeno.

“Just means ‘white,’” he says with a shrug.

“Very creative,” you tease, grinning.

“I didn’t name him,” he says defensively.

You smile warmly and shake your head. “Well, I don’t want to hold you up. Sorry to keep you,” you say. Your eyes linger on the puppy.

Jeno knows you well enough to sense you’re just giving him an out. “It’s always a pleasure to talk to you, you know that, right?” He chuckles. “Do you want to come over and hang out with him?”

Your face lights up, and you nod enthusiastically, already starting to make your way toward the stairs. Jeno calls out after you, “Your mail!”

You glance down at the mail in your hand and shrug. “What about it?”

He points with a small laugh, “Your keys are still in your mailbox.”

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment, and you quickly walk over to retrieve your keys, locking the mailbox. “Sorry, I got distracted,” you mumble.

Jeno shakes his head, “Come on.” The puppy in his arms yawning cutely as it falls back asleep on his chest.

The juxtaposition of the sight was stirring something deep inside you. Jeno’s strong arms and broad chest surrounding the small puppy. The way he held Hayan so carefully, so protectively, made your stomach flutter. You found yourself yearning for Jeno to be wrapped around you like that. 

You walk up the stairs side by side, your gaze flickering back to the adorable puppy whose peaceful face and tiny yawn make your heart soften. Once you reach the door, Jeno digs into his pocket for his keys, and you wait in anticipation. You had always wondered what Jeno’s place looked like.

“Wanna hold him while I get the door open?” Jeno asks.

You nod happily. You carefully take Hayan from Jeno’s arms, pressing a soft kiss onto the puppy’s fluffy head and petting him gently. Jeno opens the door, and you walk into his living room, placing your mail on the coffee table. Your eyes drift around his apartment, analyzing everything to get a better look into Jeno’s life. Jeno’s home smells of amber and something woody. The layout is identical to yours but the vibe was completely different. There’s a soft, plush rug covering the wooden floor and a comfortable looking couch sits on top of it. A bookshelf lines one wall, filled with a mix of manga, novels, and little trinkets. You look at all of the small souvenirs and photos that hint at his interests and personal life. 

You settle onto the couch. Hayan is still sleepy, and begins to doze off on your lap. His tiny paws and nose twitch adorably as he dreams. You don’t want to disturb his nap, so you sit perfectly still. Jeno just smiles softly before walking into the kitchen.

 “Are you thirsty?” Jeno asks casually as he gets a water bottle from the fridge.

You shake your head. Jeno shrugs, “I’m going to hit the shower. You can stay as long as you want,” he says before heading down the hall.

As he leaves, your eyes drift back around the apartment. You couldn't do much else, your phone was in your back pocket and you didn’t want to risk stirring Hayan. You occupy yourself with committing Jeno’s apartment to memory. Your gaze lands on a photo on his side table. It’s of him with a woman, both of them around the same age. Your heart sinks slightly, and you pick up the photo to get a closer look. You hope it’s his sister as you examine the image. Your eyes are drawn to Jeno first. You study him closely. His full lips, pretty eyes, and that charming mole under his eye have you under spells. 

Then your gaze shifts to the woman. She’s pretty. A twinge of jealousy flares in your chest, and you quickly look away, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You tell yourself you have no right to feel this way, but the emotion lingers stubbornly. Your mind creates all sorts of scenarios in your head as it tries to make sense of it all. Your eyes trail back to Jeno’s photo, and just as you wonder how long you’ve been staring, you hear the bathroom door open. Heart pounding, you hurriedly put the photo back where you found it. In your haste, you wake Hayan. He looks up at you with sleepy eyes and lets out a soft yawn.

Jeno walks into the room, laughing softly. “He’s still sleepy? This babysitting gig will be a breeze,” he jokes. He walks closer, crouching down to gently pet the sleeping puppy. “He must have been so tired,” Jeno murmurs, softly stroking Hayan in your lap.

He’s on his knees in front of you, and when he looks up, your eyes lock. His arms rest beside your thighs on the couch, boxing you in. The way his eyes shine as he gazes at you makes your breath catch. His hair is still damp from the shower, slightly dripping, and he smells like honey.

Your eyes drift to his lips. Full and tempting, just like in the photo. You take in each of his features, committing everything to memory. Without thinking, your hand reaches out, and your thumb brushes softly against the mole under his eye.  Your mind is in a haze and you don’t realize how close you’ve gotten. Suddenly you can feel his breath against your lips. Had he moved closer without you noticing? He licked his lips, and the way they shimmered with moisture made your breath hitch unexpectedly. The closer he got the slower time felt, almost like you were trapped in molasses. You felt a shy brush of his lips against yours. 

Hayan sneezes loudly, breaking the moment. He jumps down from your lap and trots off to find somewhere else to nap. Startled, you pull away from Jeno completely. You quickly readjust your position on the couch and avert your, focusing on anything but Jeno. Suddenly, you felt his hand take yours. He wasn’t going to let you run away this time. He carefully brought your fingertips to his lips, kissing each one softly while maintaining eye contact. He looked like he wanted to eat you alive.

You were short-circuiting. Was this real life? Your heart felt like it could leap out of your chest. Jeno noticed the stunned look on your face and held his gaze, a quiet smirk playing on his lips. He was glad you couldn’t look away. He rarely got the chance to see you this close and he was savoring every second of it. You were effortlessly beautiful and he couldn’t get you out of his head. 

He gave you a mischievous smile, one you hadn’t seen from him very often. Deciding to take mercy on you, he slowly stood to his full height and backed off. With a playful glint in his eyes he dropped the wet towel on your head. The dampness made you cringe, and you swiped it off, tossing it back at him. 

“You’re so gross,” you muttered, trying to hide your blush.

“Don’t be dramatic,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “I only used it on my hair.” He settled down next to you on the couch.

You gather your composure, trying your best to act normal. “How long is Hayan going to be here?” you ask nervously, fidgeting with your nails to distract yourself from everything that had just happened.

“Until Friday,” Jeno replies. “You can come over as much as you want. I wouldn’t mind the extra company. Plus it looks like he already likes you.”

A bright smile spreads across your face. “I’d love to help!”

He nods. “I get home around 6 on weekdays. You can come then, if that works.”

“What if I take care of him while you’re at work?”

Jeno pauses, considering it. “That sounds like a good idea, but I hate to get you wrapped up in my responsibilities.”

You shrug. “Well, I work from home and don’t do much all day, so I don’t mind,” you add, eager to sell the idea now that it’s been proposed.

Jeno nods thoughtfully. “I don’t see why not.” After a few beats of silence, a look of curiosity passes over his face. “You seem to really like animals. Why don’t you have any pets?”

“Well, for starters, I live in a pretty small apartment, and I don’t go outside enough to officially get a dog.” Your eyes widen. “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure I take Hayan out!” You reassure him even though he probably didn’t doubt you for a second.

“What about a cat?”

“Hm, I’d still feel bad keeping him cooped up inside all day,” you reply with a shrug.

Jeno grins. “Well, that’s okay. You’ve got me! I’ll be your pet,” he jokes.

Your face flushes, and Jeno smiles back. For a moment, you think he’s doing this on purpose. There’s no way he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.

Feeling a little bolder, you reach out and grab the collar of his shirt in revenge. “Gonna let me walk you too?” you tease, and for once, Jeno is the one caught off guard. His cheeks turn bright red, probably the reddest you’ve ever seen. Satisfaction bubbles up inside you, this was a small victory after the little stunt he pulled earlier.

You laugh softly, and a genuine smile begins to spread across Jeno’s face. A peaceful silence settles between you two for a moment before Jeno speaks again. His eyes search yours. “Do you ever get lonely?”

You pause, thinking deeply before answering. "I'm used to it," you admit, your voice low. "As you could guess, I don't have many real friends. The only other friends I have are online, so...I guess that counts, right?" You let out a small, hollow laugh. "I wish I was more outgoing, but I'm scared. I'm scared of meeting new people, and I'm terrible at socializing. It used to be lonely, but I've gotten used to it."

Jeno reaches out, his expression gentle. You feel a flutter in your chest as his hand brushes against yours. "You shouldn't be," he says softly.

You look down, a soft blush rising to your cheeks as you fidget with your hands. "It's not all bad, I guess," you say glancing up at Jeno. "And yeah, it means a lot that you're here and that you care. It's...it's a big deal for me."

“I’ll always be here.”

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

Jeno knocks on your door early the next morning, before work, and drops off Hayan along with everything you'll need to take care of him. Usually, you’re used to seeing Jeno in his casual clothes with his fluffy hair slightly tousled.  But today, he’s dressed sharply in a sleek black dress shirt tucked into tailored slacks and he has a heavy watch shining on his wrist. His hair is slicked back smoothly, with a few strands curled in softly on his forehead, giving him a charismatic look. 

He’s off to work, but there’s a lingering look in his eyes. You find yourself wishing you could keep him to yourself today, just a little longer. You feel like a doting wife sending her husband off to work, all that’s missing is him leaning in to kiss your cheek before he leaves.

“Have a good day at work,” you call out, watching him turn and head down the hall.

You take Hayan inside and you’re excited to not be alone all day for once. You spend hours taking calls for your job, playing with Hayan in between calls. During lunch, you pause to take Hayan for a walk and to get some fresh air. You capture a few funny videos on your phone, your favorite was of Hayan sitting by a flower bed and a butterfly landing on his nose. He freezes, eyes wide in wonder, before suddenly jumping up, making the butterfly flutter away. You couldn't wait to show Jeno later.

You were in such a great mood that later you decided to take Hayan to the local park. You had to work up the courage but once you saw Hayan having the time of his life it was worth it. 

As the evening settles in, Jeno arrives to pick up Hayan. He settles onto your couch, sleeves rolled up, shoes kicked off and hair a tousled mess. It was a stark contrast to his sharp, polished appearance from earlier that morning. He sits close, and you can smell the remainder of his cologne on him. You would drown in his scent if you could. 

You showed him the funny videos you had taken of Hayan. “He's so cute!” you laugh softly, your heart melting at the sight. “He’s a lot like you, you know.” You add.

Jeno gives you a smug look. "You think I'm cute?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

You’d gotten a little used to his teasing, so you nudge him and roll your eyes. "Not in that way, dork."

Jeno looks playfully disappointed, then tilts his head in confusion. At that moment, you swear you've seen Hayan do the same thing. “Then, how so?” Jeno asks.

“Well, for starters, you kinda act alike,” you explain, reaching over to run your fingers through Jeno’s messy hair absentmindedly. Jeno leans into your touch without hesitation, closing his eyes briefly. “And you sort of look like him. I just can’t quite put my finger on it,” you finish.

Jeno tries to stifle a yawn. Your touch is so soothing, it feels like home. “You think so?” he asks groggily, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you whisper and rest your head against his.

The scene is picture perfect. Hayan is asleep comfortably on your lap and Jeno is resting  against your shoulder. In that moment, you realize just how lonely you’ve been. You don’t think you could go back to that cold emptiness.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

Before, your days would blur together in a never-ending cycle of waking up, going to work, eating, and sleeping. You never realized how lonely it was until you met Jeno. Now, your days are filled with laughter, smiles, games, and a light you’ve never seen in the world before. The sky seems bluer and more vast, the air feels crisper as you breathe it in, and the sun shines brighter. Honestly, it scares you because it could all vanish in the blink of an eye. What if Jeno moves away? Or he gets a girlfriend and can’t spend time with you anymore? What if he only felt sorry for you all along, and you were just too foolish to see it?

You try not to think about it too much, your eyes drifting over the pile of puzzle pieces spread across Jeno’s floor. You had come over after work, and he surprised you with a new puzzle. He usually gives up on them pretty quickly but you loved putting them together. You had been working in silence, your brain deciding to think of fucked up scenarios to torment you. You nervously chew on your bottom lip to try to calm your nerves.

You hadn’t even noticed how tense you were until Jeno came over and kneeled beside you. You pull yourself out of your daze and look up at him. His thumb moved softly, tracing along your lips before he gently pulled your bottom lip free from between your teeth.

He massaged the flesh with his thumb for a moment, then slowly let go. “What’s wrong?”

You sat up and crossed your legs, you could see the worry etched into his expression. You licked your bottom lip and winced, your teeth had bitten into it too deep and split the skin.

“Sorry, it’s just a bad habit I have when I’m focusing,” you whisper.

“Liar,” Jeno says easily, sitting back on his hands. “You think I don’t know you.” There was no questioning in his voice, only certainty. “Something’s bothering you.”

Jeno’s eyes saw everything. They could spot every change in your expression and notice any shift in your behavior. Right now, you weren’t sure if that annoyed you or not. 

“I just really like spending time with you,” you say softly, your eyes drifting back to the pile of puzzle pieces as you continue fitting them together. “And sometimes, I get a little sad.”

“Why does that make you sad?” Jeno asks in confusion. 

You can’t bring yourself to meet his eye. “Because all good things eventually come to an end,” you whisper.

His voice is quiet when he speaks again. “Hey. Look at me.”

You stubbornly keep your focus on the puzzle. You’re afraid to meet his gaze because you know that if you do, your walls will come crashing down, and the tears you've been holding back will spill over.

“Y/N,” he repeats your name softly, as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world, like it’s made of glass. “Please.”

Taking a deep breath, you finally glance up at him. When your eyes meet, you see understanding and compassion. 

“You mean the world to me,” he says softly. “I enjoy spending every single day with you. I can’t imagine my life without you.”  The way he’s looking at you takes your breath away. For a moment, you believe maybe he could love you.

Your heart soars. It’s as if you could fly. Everything he just said matches how you feel about him, how you’ve felt all along. 

“You always know exactly what to say,” you say with a small smile.

“Of course,” Jeno says triumphantly, a proud smile spreading across his face. He’s happy he managed to bring your smile back to its rightful place. “You’re my best friend.”

It shouldn’t hurt when he says that, but it does. Obviously Jeno was your friend, that had been long established but for a second you believed he thought of you as more than that.  The smile on your face wavers just a little. But before Jeno can address it, Hayan suddenly bounds over and jumps onto your puzzle, sending pieces flying everywhere. Both you and Jeno startle, laughing at the chaos. You’re grateful for the distraction, and you’re glad the laugh that escapes is genuine because honestly, you didn’t want to think about the millions of pieces your heart just shattered into.

Once everything settles, and Jeno helps you clean up the puzzle, the room remains quiet. Hayan curls up contently in his dog bed, feeling satisfied after causing a little destruction. 

Jeno is the first to break the silence. “Are you hungry? I can make dinner,” he asks hopefully.

You love Jeno’s cooking, and you always enjoyed playing sous chef while he bustled around the kitchen. But tonight, you needed to be away from him, even if just for a little while. 

“No, I’m kind of tired already,” you lie. “I think I’m going to head back over to my place.”

Jeno’s face falls slightly, and he looks like a kicked puppy. The sight of it twists the knife in your chest even more, but you know if you stayed, things would only become more awkward.  

Jeno nods and walks you to the door. Just before you reach the threshold, he hesitates for a moment. “I forgot to ask but do you want to go to dinner on Friday? I’m inviting some friends, and I think it would be fun if you came.”

You hesitate to answer so Jeno offers you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. It’ll only be a few people, and you don’t have to stay the whole time if you don’t want to.

Let me sleep on it?” you ask.

He nods. “Let me know. I’d really love to see you there.”

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

The music was loud, and the place reeked of stale booze. The bar you were sitting at was sticky, and you were feeling beyond overstimulated. Where was Jeno during all this? You wish you could say you didn't know but your eyes kept drifting to him and you couldn’t look away. For the last thirty minutes you had watched him, he was dancing with the same girl who had his attention since dinner.

The night hadn’t started bad, Jeno had been right, the dinner was fun. You met a lot of his friends, and they were warm, welcoming and a little rambunctious, just as Jeno had described them in his stories. Jaemin, Renjun, Yuna, and Haechan sat around the dinner table, taking turns sharing embarrassing stories about Jeno. You thought it was cute how they teased Jeno. You had never seen him get so flustered. It was enjoyable, until Haechan suggested going bar hopping. Everyone seemed excited by the idea, and you didn’t want to be a downer. When Jeno shot you a hesitant look before answering, you gave him a confident nod. You’d learned over the past few months that sometimes, it was good to step out of your comfort zone. So you put on a brave face and gave it a try.

You all were about to split up in the parking lot, agreeing to meet at the closest bar, until a girl approached your group. After a quick introduction, you realize you have seen her before. She was the girl from the photo, the one Jeno had framed in his living room. Apparently she was one of his childhood friends. She quickly explains that she had been running late and missed dinner. She introduced herself as Sasha. You complimented her outfit and got to know her fairly quickly.  

She rode with you and Jeno to the bar, she had taken the passenger seat and left you sitting alone in the back. Jeno and Sasha laughed and rambled on without you. You wanted to join in and not feel so awkward, but they were talking about old memories, ones that you were obviously not a part of. You shrugged it off, telling yourself they were probably eager to catch up.

You finally arrive at the bar and walk beside Jeno. You’re about to reach out and take his hand to avoid getting separated inside when suddenly, someone rammed into you. You stumble to the side and you look up to see Sasha’s apologetic smile as she slips past you. She intertwines her fingers with Jeno’s, pulling him behind her with a confident air around her. Jeno’s eyes widen in surprise before he glances back at you in concern. His brow furrows as he quickly checks if you’re okay. You manage a small smile, offering a shrug and a fake nonchalance, pretending it didn’t bother you even as your chest tightens slightly.

Jeno’s other friends are kind enough to look out for you and offer to stick together inside the bar. Feeling a bit more grounded, you instinctively latch onto a girl named Yuna’s side for support and watch pathetically as Sasha drags Jeno into the crowded bar.

And that’s how you found yourself exactly where you were now.

“You're not going to ask him to dance?” Yuna says after ordering another shot at the bar.

“He seems pretty busy,” you reply sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

Yuna shakes her head with a knowing smile. “You know he’d drop everything to be next to you, right?” she says and you whip around to face her.

“If you’re just trying to make me feel better you don’t have to lie,” you huff, annoyed.

The bartender slides Yuna her shot, and she downs it in one gulp, making a face at the bitter taste before turning her attention back to you.

“Whatever. Sit and mope all you want,” she shrugs, then pushes off the bar and heads toward the dance floor.

You stare daggers at her back, then turn back to the drink you’d been nursing all night. Renjun catches your eye from further down the bar and gives you an apologetic smile as he approaches.  

“People tend to make that face after Yuna talks to them,” he says softly. “I’m usually the one who has to come and fix it. Please tell me she didn’t say anything rude?”

You shrug it off with a small smile. “No, nothing like that. She’s right. I can’t really fault her for it.” You meant it. Yuna was real and confident, she didn’t care if people couldn’t handle it. You admired that about her. You had talked to her a lot during the dinner and she was everything you weren’t. You wanted to be fierce like her someday. 

“From the look on your face, she probably told you to stop with the ‘kicked puppy’ act and go get what you want.”  Renjun chuckles and takes a sip of his drink.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Did everyone know you had feelings for Jeno?

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Unfortunately, yes. But luckily, Jeno’s an idiot and probably hasn’t caught on,” Renjun says with a teasing smile.

Your eyes drift back to the way Jeno dances with Sasha. “They look perfect together.”

“If it’s Sasha you’re worried about, those two broke up a long time ago,” Renjun offers, trying to lift your spirits.

You shoot him a surprised look. “Wait, they dated?” If you didn’t feel like shit before, you definitely felt worse now.

It was obvious he still had feelings for her. The way he danced with her, the way he looked at her. He even still had a picture of them together in his living room. Watching them, you finally chugged the alcohol that had been resting between your palms all night.

Renjun shrugs. “Yeah, but it was a long time ago. They’re just friends now.”

“Well, she seems like she wants to be more than friends again,” you say, signaling to the bartender for another drink. When it arrives, you don’t hesitate, you down it quickly.

“You don’t have to be scared. What’s the worst that could happen if you confess? You know the saying that goes “It's better to have loved and lost than never to love at all’?” Renjun prompts, making you laugh bitterly.

“I can’t risk losing Jeno. I can’t ruin what we have. Besides, I’ll never be brave enough to confess,” you say.

Renjun shakes his head. “Well… then, think of it this way. Would you rather lose Jeno knowing you tried, or lose him to someone else without ever saying a word?” His eyes meet yours. “The choice is yours.”

You swirl the straw in your drink, letting his words sink in as you contemplate them.

“Those who love don’t let themselves be ruled by fear,” Renjun continues softly. “They know it’s scary, and they know it will hurt. But they find the courage to love anyway. You’re scared of getting hurt and that’s okay. Because courage is what comes after fear.”

“Then I guess I’m just a coward,” you say, your voice tinged with bitterness. “Fear’s what’s kept me safe all this time. I’m okay with being scared. I’m used to being alone, and I don’t really need love. I’ve gotten this far without it.”

“But are you really living?” Renjun asks.

You bristle at his words, and suddenly, your mind spirals. He was right, he saw right through you. You'd just been getting by, day by day, nothing more than surviving.

Food, water, and shelter. That’s all you needed to survive.

But love, that’s what you needed to truly live.

You take a long swig of your drink, hoping the burn of alcohol will distract you from the tears that burn behind your eyelids. 

You’ve never gotten this drunk before, and the way the liquor mixes with the chaos of your emotions feels dangerous. You stand from the bar, and Renjun’s hands shoot out to steady you, but you shrug him off.  

“I’m fine,” you insist.

“Maybe I should get Jeno to take you home,” he suggests cautiously.

At his words, your eyes drift back toward the dance floor. A part of you wants to believe Renjun and Yuna. Maybe Jeno could have feelings for you, but the more logical side doubts it.

In the end he’s dancing with her, not you.

You tell Renjun you’re headed to the bathroom, but the truth is, you’re leaving. You don’t know where you’re going, but you can’t be in this dingy bar a second longer.  

Without saying goodbye, you slip out and start walking down the street. It’s probably a forty-minute walk to your place, but the cold, fresh air offers you a strange solace, and the stars above provide silent companionship.

About fifteen minutes into your walk, your phone buzzed loudly in your pocket. You ignored it, sinking deeper into your thoughts and letting everything you’d been feeling toward Jeno over the past few months come bubbling to the surface. Love, then fear, then sadness. It was like a never ending cycle and it was exhausting.

You remembered what Renjun said at the bar and realized he was right. It was pathetic to keep living in fear like this. If you didn’t muster the courage to truly live, you’d just die alone.

You spot a park up ahead off to the side of the road. You had worn heels for the first time in a long time tonight and your feet were killing you. You steady yourself and carefully make your way across the wood chips, trying not to kick up any and get them caught in your heels. 

Finally, you reached the swings and sat down heavily. You were still heavily intoxicated and at first the quiet, rundown park offered a strange comfort. That was until you stared at the playground through your drunken haze, your mind began to distort things. Shadows seemed to hide inside the tunnel slide, ghosts haunted the swingset, and worse, you imagined a killer lurking in the woods behind you.

The longer you sit outside in the middle of the night, the more you regret the idea of walking home. A fresh wave of tears wash over you. You were drunk and alone, and you hadn’t realized how cold it had gotten. The alcohol had kept you warm, but now as the buzz faded, the chill of the night seeped into your bones making you shiver.

You reach into your pocket to grab your phone, but before you can dial Jeno’s number, you're blinded by the headlights of a car. You raise your arm to shield your eyes, squinting through the glare as the car door finally swings open. A figure steps out, and you strain your eyes to discern who it is.  

Are you out of your mind?!” a voice yells out.  

You recognize it as Jeno’s, but the tone is unfamiliar. His tone is sharp and almost angry. For as long as you’ve known him, he’s never raised his voice at you like that before. You hear the wood chips crunch under his feet as he storms toward you, grabbing your forearm and yanking you up from the swing set. You stumble to your feet, caught off guard. 

He does a quick once over of your body from head to toe, searching for any cuts or bruises. When he seems satisfied that you’re unharmed, his shoulders sag in relief. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes briefly, then reopens them but his expression is still tense.  

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks. You could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to stay calm.  

“I was going home,” you respond as if it were obvious. What little alcohol is still in your system makes you unusually fearless. Is this how Yuna feels all the time?

He leans in, inhaling sharply, and smells your breath. “You’re drunk.” he states, disbelief evident.  

You shrug off his grip on your forearm and glare at him. “Of course I’m drunk, Jeno! You took me to a bar! What was I supposed to do?”  

“If you were ready to go home, you should have come to get me,” he snaps, frustration bubbling up.

“And what? Interrupt all the fun you were having? Don’t act like you’re so concerned about me now!”  

“Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? Do you think this is a game? You don’t just wander off like that!”  

“Stop acting like you care! All night has just been you and Sasha. You haven’t said a word to me since we entered the bar!” 

You’re in each other’s faces at this point, and you never thought it would be possible to be this angry with Jeno.

Jeno runs his hands down his face, sighing heavily. “I’m not having this conversation right now. It’s cold, and I need to get you home,” he says exhausted. 

“No! I’m not going with you,” you reply stubbornly, standing your ground.  

You don’t know why you’re acting this way. You were just about to call him before he showed up, but now that he’s here, all the feelings you thought you had under control start to surge to the surface. You couldn’t bear to be near him anymore. You start marching away from the park and head back toward the main road. You were determined to put as much distance as possible between you and everything else

You hear the sound of the passenger car door opening and the last voice you wanted to hear tonight speaks.  

“Where is she going?” Sasha called out.

“Just get back in the car,” Jeno responds, voice tense, as he begins to stalk after you.

Now, you’re mad and embarrassed. Sasha just saw you having a yelling match with Jeno after acting like a wet rag all night. She’s probably happy you’re jealous. The gravel crunches beneath his footsteps as he walks after you, calling your name. You hear Sasha call out again, equally frustrated.

“Y/N, come on! This isn’t funny. What’s your deal?” Sasha barks from her spot next to the car.

“I said wait in the car!” Jeno yells behind you.

You don’t dare look back. Stubbornly, you keep walking, your high heels clacking unsteadily against the narrow shoulder of the road. Cars pass too close for comfort and  their headlights are almost blinding but you don’t care. You’re being reckless but your feet refuse to stop. The embarrassment weighs heavy on your chest, and you’re too humiliated to face Jeno right now.

“No! She’s so annoying. It’s too cold for this,” Sasha mutters from behind in frustration.

You roll your eyes at her words, ignoring the sting they carry.  

Jeno calls out to you again, voice pleading. “Y/N, wait!”  

“Jeno, leave me al—” Suddenly, your knee buckles beneath you and the heel of your shoe snaps with a sharp crack. You try to catch your balance, but you’re a stumbling mess. You fall sideways, tumbling down the ditch beside the road.  

You squeeze your eyes shut tight as you feel yourself rolling down the slope while mud and leaves scrape against your skin. Your body hits the bottom with a dull thud, and everything blurs together. All you could feel was the cold, the dirt, and the sting of pain.  

Above you, muffled curses and hurried footsteps grow louder. Jeno and Sasha rush over, their faces etched with concern.  

“Shit,” Jeno mutters, voice tight.  

“Are you okay?” Sasha asks, her tone a little softer now.

You struggle to get to your feet, but you wince as pain shoots through your ankle.  

“I—I don’t think I can get out on my own,” you admit guiltily, bitterness choking your voice. You berate yourself silently. How stupid, how reckless. Now you’re stuck in this ditch, needing help from Sasha and Jeno to get back up.  

The ditch is deep, with a steep slope that, under normal circumstances, you could have managed to run up. But with your injury, it’s impossible. You watch Sasha unlatch her heels and kick them off with a faint glare.  

“Don’t look at me like that,” she snaps, eyes narrowing. “I may not like you all that much, but I’m not a bitch.”  

Without hesitation, Sasha and Jeno make their way down the hill bickering all the while helping you up. You lean heavily on both of them, one arm around Sasha, the other around Jeno. You finally manage to stand and look between their faces. Sasha's jaw was tense, while Jeno's eyes showed concern.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice trembling. “I should have listened.” Your voice trails off in shame. 

Jeno’s eyes soften, and he shakes his head slowly. “Save it. It was an accident.”  

Sasha remained silent for a moment before she clears her throat. She speaks quietly but firmly. 

“I know I’ve been harsh, but that doesn’t mean I want to see you get hurt. You’re not stupid you’re just drunk and tired. I’ve been there and I've seen Jeno do worse so don't beat yourself up.” Her voice isn’t cold anymore, it's just honest. 

Jeno looks over at her with a small, proud smile. She offers a small smile, but before it can fully develop, it's replaced by her usual guarded expression.  

Once you're back on the pavement, Jeno lifts you into his arms, carrying you bridal style. You instinctively rest your head against his chest, feeling safe in his strong hold. Sasha walks ahead, rubbing her arms for warmth. She was eager to reach the car and escape the cold.

“Are you jealous?” Jeno asks, breaking the silence. His voice is sincere and almost curious. “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous of Sasha?”

You glance away, voice small and uncertain. “I’m not jealous,” you mumble, feeling exposed.

Jeno chuckles softly, "You can't hide it from me. I know you, remember? I know you can't look people in the eye when you lie, and you can't hold your liquor to save your life." He pauses, then adds, "And I know you think I have feelings for Sasha, but you're wrong."

“Then why dance with her all night long? Why ignore me?” Your voice grows stronger, laced with hurt.

"We were just catching up. I didn't mean to leave you alone, especially after I invited you. I'm sorry."

“You know how I feel tho… I was out of my element and you left me alone,” your voice waivers.

Jeno’s face softens. “I’m really sorry.”

 Suddenly, Sasha’s voice interrupts, echoing down the road, “Can we go now?!” Sasha yells impatiently, before rolling up the window and sinking back into the seat.

Jeno laughs fondly, "Sasha's not so bad once you get to know her. She's like a sister to me.”

You raise an eyebrow, "So you dated your sister?" You were too drunk to worry about the fact that technically, you weren’t supposed to know that.

Jeno rolls his eyes, "It's not like that. We didn't date long because our dynamic wasn't suited for a relationship. She's harmless if you give her a chance. I was actually telling her about you."

Your heart warms at his words. "I feel like such a brat," you say, covering your face in embarrassment.

Jeno teases, "You are, but it's cute. I've never seen this side of you."

You groan, knowing he won't let you live it down. Summoning the rest of  your courage, you speak, "Thank you for being there for me. I'm sorry for getting jealous and causing a scene." You finish by placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Jeno stops walking and cups your cheek before you can fully pull away. He seals your apology with a soft kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. When you pull away, you're breathless and he kisses your nose and resumes walking.

When you get in the car, Sasha doesn’t say anything, just mutters a “Finally” under her breath and blasts the heater as Jeno starts the engine. The ride is surprisingly pleasant, Sasha sings along to the songs on the radio and encourages you to join in. You breathe a little easier now that she isn’t sending icy glares through the rearview mirror. You're still not entirely sure how you feel about her, but you're glad whatever beef she had with you has been squashed.

At your apartment door, Jeno hesitates before speaking.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I don’t usually get that worked up, but I really thought something had happened to you,” he says.

“No, I’m sorry, Jeno. I shouldn’t have left. That was dangerous, and I wasn’t thinking. I feel like I ruined the night,” you reply, your voice tinged with regret.

Jeno closes the distance between you in two long strides and wraps his arms around you. “You didn’t ruin anything. I’m just glad you’re okay. Truce?”

You nod and hug him tighter, and he kisses the top of your head.

You pull away, your gaze dropping to your muddy clothes. "Shit, I'm sorry," you mutter, scanning Jeno's shirt for any dirt you might have transferred. His once clean shirt now smudged with dirt and you grimace at the sight.

Jeno chuckles, grasps the hem of his shirt, and with a swift motion he pulls it over his head. You’re too stunned to speak. Your eyes rake over his toned body, his abdominal muscles ripple like waves and a deep V-line draws your eye down to the waistband of his jeans. You swallow hard, feeling your cheeks flush with warmth.

He tilts your chin up and offers a smirk. The expression on his face is a challenge, daring you to make the first move. "Do you want me to help clean you up, or would you rather I go?" His voice is a soft rumble that sends shivers down your spine.

You can't find your voice, so you act. You strip off your muddy clothes until you stand before him in just your underwear. It was the most vulnerable you have ever been with Jeno, but you trust him. His gaze rakes over you, setting your skin ablaze. Both of you seeing a new side of each other, and neither of you could get enough.

He leads you into the bathroom, turning the shower on as steam begins to fill the room. He lifts you onto the counter before positioning himself between your legs. Your heart pounds in your chest as he carefully helps pick all the leaves and sticks from your hair, being gentle to avoid making it even more tangled than it already is. Once he's done, you hop down and stand before him, unsure of what to do next. Jeno decides to take the lead and he watches you with a lazy smile as he reaches for his belt. You can't help but stare at his hands. They are thick, manly, and veined. Your mind races, imagining those hands wrapped around your neck. Jeno likes the way you look at him, his smile turning cocky. He then slides down his jeans, revealing his muscular thighs and the prominent outline of his erection straining against his briefs. You lick your lips, your mouth suddenly dry.

He leans in, his voice barely a whisper over the roar of the shower, "Help me, yeah?"

You step closer, your fingers trembling as you hook them into the waistband of his briefs. He notices your shaking hands and bends down to look you in the eyes. "Hey, we can stop if you want. I can shower at my place, you know that, right?" Jeno would never pressure you into something you weren’t ready for and you appreciate him for taking the time to check in on you.

You shake your head, you were beyond horny at this point. "No, please. I need this. I need you."

He sends you a smile, a slow, sexy curve of his lips that drives you crazy. Then he nods, motioning for you to continue.

You pull his briefs down, and his cock springs free, slapping against his abdomen. You gasp, your eyes wide as you take in his size. He's thick and the head of his cock is pink and weeping. It was like a ripe, juicy fruit and you can't help the way your tongue darts out to lick your lips as you imagine tasting him.

Jeno tilts his head with a cocky smirk. "Your turn, princess. No more hiding."

You take a deep breath, unclipping your bra. It falls away, revealing your breasts to him. You shimmy out of your panties, adding them to the growing pile of clothing on the floor. You stand tall, your shoulders back, and your chin high. Your heart pounds in your chest as you do your best to appear as confident as Jeno.

You watch his eyes glaze over in lust. ““Come here,” he says softly before guiding you into the shower.

You step into the shower and Jeno's eyes never leave yours. He turns the showerhead, letting the water cascade down your body and  washing away the rest of the mud on your skin. You shiver under the intensity of his gaze.

He reaches for the shampoo and his fingers massage your scalp as he works the product into your hair. You close your eyes and your body relaxes under his touch. Once he's done, he rinses your hair.

He grabs the soap and lathers it up in his hands. He starts at your chest and his soapy hands glide over your skin making your breath hitch. Then he cups your breasts, his thumbs circling your nipples until they grow hard. He pinches them and the sensation is new and unexpected, causing you to jump slightly and take a step back. He doesn’t let up though, he follows, pressing you against the cold tile wall so that he can explore your body. His hands roam down your sides, over your waist, until they reach your hips. He massages the skin there, continuously lathering you in soap before he reaches around and grabs the flesh of your ass. You gasp, your eyes fluttering closed as he leans in and  captures your mouth in a searing kiss.

His tongue dips into your mouth and explores every inch of it. Your tongues dance, your teeth clash, and your breaths mingle. You grab onto his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer, deepening the kiss. You want him, all of him. You want to know him in ways you never have before.

Your hands slide down his chest and over his abs until they reach his cock. You wrap your hand around it and run your thumb along the rigid veins. He freezes, his mouth agape and his breath hitches. You tighten your grip, stroking him slowly, your hand slick with water and soap.

You remember all the years worth of fanfics, sex articles, and porn you’ve consumed and you use that knowledge to guide you on what to do next. You had read that guys like a tight grip, so you grip him hard enough for him to really feel it. You twist your wrist as you stroke him and tease the sensitive head of his cock before gliding back down to the base. You watch as the water rains down on him, his hair plastered to his forehead and droplets rolling down his abs. You feel a sense of empowerment, knowing that you're the one driving him to the edge.

Jeno lets out a shaky moan, his brows furrowing as he hides his face in your shoulder. "Fuck, who taught you this?" he asks, genuinely puzzled. He'd assumed you were a virgin, but the way you touched him was anything but innocent.

You feel emboldened by his reaction and lean in to purr in his ear. "Shh, just take it. You deserve it." You can feel his body trembling, his grip on your hips turning bruising as you increase the pace, you add your other hand and they work in tandem to drive him closer to the edge.

He leans into you, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His hips thrust forward, meeting your strokes. You can feel his body tensing, his orgasm building. He lets out a guttural moan before he grips your wrist tight.

Suddenly, he pulls away, taking a clumsy step back. "Wait," he says, his voice rough. "Turn around."

Your stomach clenches in excitement. The look in his eyes promises that you're in for something special. You do as he says and turn to face the wall. You expect to feel his cock, but instead, you feel his warm wet tongue against your folds. He hums at the taste and sucks eagerly at your clit. He needs you ready and wet enough to take him. He slips two thick fingers inside you, stretching you out for him. You can feel your juices dripping down your thighs and your breath comes in short gasps.

Once he has your juices dripping down his face, he finally stands. Leaning over you, he runs the head of his cock along your slit. "You're so fucking wet," he growls. "You have no idea what you do to me, baby. I've jacked off thinking about you, imagining you coming to my door, begging me to eat your pussy." He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a low whisper. "But now, I’m all yours. Whenever you want me, you can have me."

You whimper, your hips wiggling impatiently. You reach back, grabbing his cock, guiding it to your entrance. Testing the waters you dip the fat head of his cock into your cunt again and again until you can't take it anymore.

“All you have to do is ask, baby. Say it.” He grits out as his hand comes up to lightly grip your throat.

"Fuck me," you pant, your voice barely a whisper.

You gasp as Jeno presses his hips forward, stretching you open. It's a new sensation, and your initial instinct is to pull away. You rise onto your tiptoes, but Jeno's grip on your neck tightens, holding you in place. "Stay right there," he breathes, his voice ragged with desire. "Right there…" 

He pushes in deeper, and you can feel every inch of him as he fills you completely. You take a moment to adjust, your body throbbing and pulsing around him. When you start to move back against him, he takes it as a sign to begin thrusting.

He starts slow and shallow, testing the rhythm. "How do you want it?"

"Deeper," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of the shower. "Faster."

He obliges, his grip on your hips tightening as he picks up the pace. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes through the bathroom, drowning out the sound of the shower. He uses his hold on you to move you up and down on his cock, fucking you against him with powerful snaps of his hips.

"You feel so good," he pants, his voice laced with praise. "You're taking it like a champ, baby. You're so fucking wet."

You were delirious and drunk off his words, you wanted more. You can feel your orgasm building and your legs tremble, but you don't want him to stop. "Harder," you beg, your voice barely a whisper. "Fuck me harder."

He growls, his hips moving like a piston as he rams into you., The hand around your neck moves down, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing harsh circles that send you spiraling over the edge.

Your climax hits you like a tidal wave and your body convulses as you scream his name but Jeno doesn't stop. He fucks you through your orgasm, his body tense as he chases his own release. "I'm so close, hold on for me," he grunts. "Make me proud, take it."

You're a whimpering mess in his arms, your legs shaking as he finally pulls out, painting your back with his cum. He strokes himself, ensuring he's spilled every last drop.

Your legs give out and you sink down onto the shower floor. Jeno bends down to your level. "You okay?" he asks.

You laugh weakly, shaking your head. "I'm more than okay," you say. "How are you... not even a little out of breath?"

He chuckles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. "I don't go to the gym for nothing," he says, his voice laced with pride. "Now come on, let me run you a bath." He helps you to your feet, his arm wrapped around your waist, steadying you as you step out of the shower.

𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬 𓅭 𓅮 𓅯𓅰 𓅬

While cleaning around your house, you notice a small piece of paper slipped under your door. Your heart skips a beat as you see the handwritten message:

Meet me on the roof at 9

One of the main amenities you moved into this apartment for was the rooftop lounge. It’s a quiet, tucked away spot with a view of the city skyline. You start getting ready around 8, choosing an outfit that’s cute yet casual since you weren't sure of the exact occasion. You hesitate for a moment in front of the mirror, nerves fluttering in your stomach. You take a final glance over your outfit to make sure you feel confident then head out the door toward the rooftop. When you step outside the cool night air brushes against your skin.

The space isn’t often used, but tonight, it’s transformed. Twinkling fairy lights and lanterns are draped over railings and in the center stands a small, round table covered with a white cloth and a tiny vase holding a single red rose. A soft melody filled the space as a small speaker played a mellow playlist, setting the mood. It’s a cheesy setup but that makes you love it even more.

Jeno is already waiting at the table, leaning slightly forward with a gentle smile. His eyes light up when he sees you, and he stands to greet you.

He’s dressed in a simple white button down shirt and slacks. It's laid-back but with a touch of formality, which makes you feel a little insecure about the outfit you picked.

"You look amazing," Jeno says softly, and any doubts you had wash away in an instant.

Your cheeks heat, and you can’t help but smile. "What did you want to talk about?" your voice is a little tentative.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me,” he says softly, taking a step towards you. His voice is gentle but steady. “And I know you’re afraid to let your walls down, but I promise I won’t hurt you if you let me in.”

His words hang in the cool night air as you think of a way to explain yourself. It’s true, you had been distant lately, unsure of what your relationship really was. You hadn’t talked about labels yet so you weren’t sure where you stood. 

He takes another slow, deliberate step toward you and reaches out to clasp your hand in his. His touch is warm and reassuring. He guides you toward the small, romantic table he’s set up.

As you walk, your eyes are drawn upward. The sky above is a deep blue, speckled faintly with stars struggling to shine through the city’s smog. When you reach the table, you notice a small insulated bag resting beside it. Jeno reaches inside, pulling out plates wrapped in plastic, their steam still rising, trapping the warmth inside. The faint scent of herbs and spices drifts up as he unwraps them, revealing beautifully prepared dishes.

He sets the plates down carefully, placing silverware and a single wine glass in front of you. From his seemingly endless “magic sack,” he retrieves a bottle of wine and he uncorks it. He pours a generous glass for you before doing the same for himself.

You wait until he’s finished, then raise your glass. The two of you sip the wine and the velvety flavor coats your tongue, and you hum softly in content. You offer him a small, thankful smile.

“I’ve been saving this for a special day,” Jeno says happily, his eyes shining. He digs into his food, nodding encouragingly at you to try yours.

You happily take a bite, the flavors bursting in your mouth. You were grateful you had an excuse to remain silent, you were still trying to find the right words. 

“Just relax,” he chuckles softly, breaking the quiet with a gentle laugh.

You hate how attuned he is to you, how he can read your mood with such ease. Sometimes it feels like he’s known you forever.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you whisper, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he replies softly. “We’re fine. We’ve always been fine. Let’s start from here. I’m not looking for an apology. I just missed you. I just want you here with me.”

Your stomach tightens with emotion, and even though you’ve already swallowed your food, the lump in your throat won’t go away. “I’m here. I’ll always be here,” you whisper back.

He offers you a warm, reassuring smile, one that seems to say everything you need to hear. Leaning across the table, he gently wipes away the tears you didn’t realize were falling, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek.

You don’t need him to say the words because he’s already shown you how he feels. His care is evident in every gesture, in the way he listens, in the gentle way he looks at you. He’s never too direct, and you appreciate that. Sometimes you think he’s afraid that being too honest might scare you away. 

Thank you Jeno, for always being the brave one, but I think it's my turn

You take a deep breath and meet his gaze directly. “I love you.” The words come out confident, steady, and unwavering. You don’t dare look away.