xthepenguin

I need to be held for 4 hours but that's my business I don't need to post about that

if I fought 50 badgers at once I would lose

if I fought 60 badgers at once I would do even worse

I would win easily but it's only because I'm a country

India cleans 60 badger matchup hands down

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him

well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement

redstonedust AND biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist are aromantic??? are all the famous tumblrinas aromantic??

@teaboot

Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown

BREAKFAST

Welcome to the gang. I'll give you your new gang name. Baby Beebo. That's your new gang name. We work hard but we play harder.

I drank a shitload of honey last night and slept for 12 hours

Stop calling me bear

I invented a new trend called “drink sleepy tea and go to bed”

It's just a fad, it'll pass.

Think again. China has been doing this trend I just invented for over 4,000 years.

whose dumb ass idiot fuck idea was it to make medicine cost money

go to triple hell

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

folks im not gonna lie to you. ive looked at this conversation like 20 times and ive only just now realized he tried to lie to me about not eating for days within a few seconds of seeing i had a big bowl of soup

its my new rule. U arent allowed to reblog this post no more if you dont know who pjackk is

pjackk is the guy who wanting your soup right

hes the permanent wine stain on the metaphorical carpet of my brain.

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".