Fading From Reality

sorry if i disappear. i don’t wanna be here anymore.

my ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy life instead of making me feel like i'm at gunpoint over every tiny inconvenience.

I’m not “battling mental illness” or “fighting bpd” they are in fact, beating the ever living fuck out of me

i have to stop saying "it can't get any worse" cause life is taking it as a challenge

Nobody apologized for how they treated me they just blamed me for how I reacted

i hate how ugly i am. inside and out. it's all rotten.

I miss being able to crash out like I did when I was a teenager. Like, hell yeah I'll go to the psych ward, I can get out of school for a week! Now when I go crazy, I have to rein in all back in before the next business day so I don't become homeless. 🙃

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

everything is ruined. nothing is getting better.