hold on 'til may

yesterday i was helping a friend w her crystal booth at a farmers market and i started feeling extremely sick and anxious, like woozy, low blood pressure, no clue why, (it wasn't overly hot out or anything) so i decided to go sit inside for a bit across the street and as soon as i left, she texted me that i just missed my ex best friend who cut me off for unexplained reasons during the lowest point of my life walking up, and i felt so insane...

like im glad the universe is protecting me, but im also so tired of the pain of this situation, i'm still so hurt by what she did and afraid that my other friends will drop me as soon as i become hard to deal with, it's agony and being confronted w it sucks

my friend i was helping mentioned my name to see what she would say, and apparently she just stone walled her when she tried to talk abt me lol but was like oh we'll come back around and say hi, but i knew that was bs lol, and i was right, we didn't see them again