Shadow x Singer!fem!Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst
w.c: 6.2k
Song ref: All Eyes On Me - OR3O
A/N: Good lord this one took me a bit but I’m nothing but thorough in making my fics as accurate as possible lololol. This fic is set in the 1920s/prohibition era (for those from outside the states, it is when alcohol was made illegal). I have also posted a glossary of the terms used during that time period.
You take a deep breath as you stare at yourself in the mirror.
No matter how many shows you perform, the pre-show jitters always claws at you. That one wrong move, and you're done for.
But tonight, it feels different and you know why that it is different.
"Knock knock Angel, ya decent?" A familiar speaks from outside your dressing room.
Briskly entering your room, your manager grins widely showing his sharp teeth, "There's my little oyster fruit! How are ya feeling?"
You give a smile in return, "I got no kick. What's it looking like outside?"
Scourge plops himself onto your couch, he angles his head toward you, not bothering to conceal his smug expression, "Packed."
"I had to make sure Rouge got capable brunos out there. I ain't taking any chances." He pats down on his pinstripe suit and grimaces, "Damn. Butt me, Angel."
You teasingly smile as you pluck a cigar from a nearby drawer to hand to him, "Careful there, Scrouge, it's beginning to sound like you care. "
The green quilled mobian lights up the cigar before taking it from you and letting it settle on his lips, matching your teasing smile with his own, "Says you."
You softly giggle as you retreat back to your vanity, "Sorry, you just 'protect what's yours'."
Scrouge lets out a puff of smoke, "Damn straight." As he looks back to you, he narrows his eyes slightly, "Seriously, you okay, Angel? Ya seem cold."
You internally cringe. For everything Scrouge is, one of those (at your detriment at the moment) is being very aware of the energy wherever he is.
You look back at the mirror, eyes flitting over your lightly done makeup, "It's just been a long time since I have been back here."
Immediately Scrouge knew why.
His next exhale of smoke comes out with a annoyed grunt, "Still thinking about those dumb doras?"
You furrow your brow as you both make eye contact through the mirror, "Kind of hard to forget the people that made you feel like you and your dreams were nothing."
"And ya proved them wrong."
You press your lips into a thin line, remaining silent.
When Scrouge agreed to having you perform here, he understood what emotions could arise.
This was the city he met you in a year and half ago.
You were working at a low-cut hostel with low pay and given even lower respect from your boss and coworkers. He was there for a business meeting and initially paid you no mind, but later on in the day he overheard you singing to yourself as you were cleaning and instantly knew he had found a true diamond in the rough.
So it didn't matter how many connections he had to pull to have you properly trained, how many times you crawled back into yourself because of memories that clung on too deeply, or how many times his fists had to get bloodied towards leering eyes.
He worked with you to get you polished, so by heaven or hell, he won't let you do anything but shine.
Placing the cigar on the nearby ashtray, he makes his way behind you, "Tell me again, why choose the stage name 'Angel'?"
You can't help but give an amused huff, "Because I want my voice to make them feel like they are in heaven."
You meet his eyes in the mirror just as his smirk slightly softens, "And last time I checked, there is a crowd of Tom, Dicks and Harrys waiting to be spelled by that same voice of yours. That hasn't changed from any of the other drums and cities we've been to, so why would it now?"
He placed a gloved hand on your shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze, "Those who did ya wrong can go to blazes for all I care. You're the real deal, [y/n], so don't let anyone try an' tell ya otherwise."
Scrouge usually doesn't use your actual name unless the situation calls for it, so you know that he is being completely serious. You reach out and place your hand on top of his, "Thank you, for everything. "
With his smug grin returning, he turns back to the couch, "Course, doll. I need to make sure my money maker stays working. "
You can't help but giggle. You're relationship with Scrouge started off as manager and client, but the more time went on, you began to form a sort of sibling-like bond.
To those who meet him, the rough and money hungry Scrouge is very present; But when it's the two of you, that act becomes a joke for you to play up.
You like to think that the universe chose to not have you be raised together because you'd be an unstoppable duo.
You look at yourself again, the worry on your face ever decreasing. However, at the corner of your eye amongst your makeup area you spot your lipsticks.
A specific lipstick given to you by a specific person.
You huff to yourself. Why do you even still have it? You really should've thrown it away by now, it'd save you the heartache everytime you look at the black tube.
The known mobster picks up and relights his cigar, his eyes watching over you with thinly veiled annoyance, "You still stuck on that hedgehog?"
The small audible 'eep' that you let out does not escape his ears.
He grumbles, "Shoulda popped him when I had the chance." You whip your head towards him, irritation filling your tone, "Don't you dare."
Scrouge snickers smugly, "Getting sore? I must be right."
Your fluffy robe bunches within your clenched fists. You hate it. You hate that he's right. You hate that you still hold something for him, even how many months later. You hate that a part of you even hopes he'll show up tonight.
Seeing your face contort with vexed expressions, his protective instincts began to flare, "He must think himself a real sheik, that one. Sees a fine tomato an' decides to play around until he had his fill, damn bastard."
Scrouge leans back into the couch, "Is that also what's been eating you?"
You groan into your gloved hands, "I wish he wasn't."
A spark that started between the two of you that proceeded to engulf you wholly, leaving seemingly no part of you untouched.
Scrouge takes another puff, "All that necking must have really gotten to you."
Your face immediately becomes very warm, "Scrouge-!"
He simply shrugs, "I ain't calling ya a chippy; Hell, I'd be a damn hypocrite if I said ya couldn't get some if ya wanted. Just maybe it clouded your better judgement."
"Gaia above, Scrouge!" You whisper screeched.
Continuing on with little care, Scourge surged on, "But clearly any good he was means jack with how he treated ya at the end."
You shrink into yourself a bit. Your blush slightly deepening not just cause of Scrouge's crassness but also embarrassment at your stupidity, "I just..hoped he wasn't just some wrong number, what a fool I ended up being."
The sound of Scrouge's sharp snap brings your attention back up, "Uh-uh, no more pity party. When ya slop, ya do it with your whole heart. If that bastard decided to give ya the icy mitten, that's his own damn problem."
Another plume of smoke, "Ya ain't a weak sister no more, don't let even the thought of him drag you back."
You eye the tube of lipstick with a flare of boldness, 'He's right, I've grown too much. Even if it hurts like sam hill, I shouldn't let it consume me.'
With decisiveness, you pluck the lipstick from its place and began applying the crimson paint, "Scrouge, be a dear and tell our jazzy friends that we're going to switch up the opening song."
Scrouge grins widely, "Now you're on the trolley, Angel. Finally ready to sing your special song?"
You make your way to your standing dresser, "Seems fitting, don't you think?"
A song that you wrote during a spur of the moment bout of vanity; Writing lyrics of your deepest desires, a vocal flipping the bird to those that have belittled you, mocked you.
A song that you withheld due to fear of coming across as 'too much', that that level of confidence was unbecoming. To condemnatory eyes, you were supposed to be small, quiet, self-depreciatingly humble, and subservient.
You grab onto one of your dresses, it was one that you always have on hand in case you ever feel like singing the song.
Whether because of your voice or that dress....
‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹ ˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹
The Gem is absolutely packed that night. It gets to the point that Rouge has to instruct the bouncers to turn folks away. Of course, she had expected this to happen; The divine Angel was performing there tonight, and that was enough for a large amount of patrons to flow in.
She makes her way through the crowd but alters her course once she sees a welcome face, "My my, Blue. Didn't take you to be part of the congregation."
Sonic grins, "Is it really being part of the congregation to see an old friend perform?" Amy joins the two, setting down a couple glasses of water, "Wow, the drum is really packed tonight. I'm really glad her dreams are coming to life."
Rouge fans herself with an exaggerated exasperated look, "At the cost of my weekly supply." Amy giggles, "As if the sharpest snake charmer in the entire area didn't plan ahead for something like this."
Rouge winks at her friend, "Just for that, hon, you earned yourself a free drink," then loudly ordered a drink towards one of the bartenders.
Sonic rolls his eyes with a smile before switching his tone to be a bit more hushed, "Going to be honest, when you first told us that you were trying to bring Angel to The Gem, I thought she would've said no even with your polished banana oil."
Rouge scoffs, "That manager of hers is ruthless, I tell you. Why do I have to be collateral damage for Shadow's hokums?"
Amy gives out a nervous smile, "I mean, he did break her heart. If that happened to me, I wouldn't even bother coming back!"
Taking a swig from the newly arrived drink, Sonic let's out a breathless laugh, "And now he's reaping what he sowed. That piker's mood seems to have been worse these past few months, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it lines up with when she first left."
Rouge rolls her eyes, "All because he couldn't articulate his feelings properly."
But a devious smile creeps up, "But maybe tonight that could change. "
Amy and Sonic's eyes look towards each other.
Amy leans forward, "Mind filling a couple of friends in on your little scheme?"
"I don't know what you could be referring to," Rouge said with that little mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
Rouge's eyes darts up towards the entrance and what she saw made her grin widen, "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."
The two hedgehogs whip themselves around to see infamous Shadow the Hedgehog making his way towards the group.
Sonic smiles at the additional hedgehog, "Fancy seeing you here, Shadow."
Shadow narrows his eyes at Sonic, his patience seeming to be already waning.
Rouge links her arm around Shadow's, "It's a welcome surprise, honestly."
"Yeah," Sonic says with a shit-eating grin, "Usually places like this aren't your scene, so what brings you over tonight?"
Amy gives him a swift kick to the calf, though she is already having difficulty stopping her laughter from coming out.
"You're a real pill, hedgehog." Shadow growls lowly.
Rouge lays her head on his shoulder with a coo, "This is a special moment that must be thoroughly enjoyed. Drinks for you three are on the house tonight."
As Rouge leaned into Shadow, he could hear the sound of paper crinkling from her bosom.
Thinking nothing of it, he huffs, "This place is too crowded. Knuckles had to be the one to let me in."
"Oh? I guess I outta thank him for letting you through later~"
Amy giggles into her hand, "You're always looking for a reason to thank him."
"What can I say? I'm a charitable woman."
Sonic notices an figure approaching them and his smile loses a bit of its glimmer, "And someone who's the opposite is called a..."
The speakeasy owner turns around to face your arriving manager, "Scrouge, darling, you need something? I believe we agreed to talk after the show."
Scrouge eyes momentarily darts towards the now deeply scowling hedgehog, his smugness not waning, "I ain't here to talk, dollface. I'm jus' out to watch my little Angel sing her heart out."
Rouge could feel Shadow's arm tense up as if he was trying to restrain himself from socking him. She gives Shadow a couple of reassuring arm squeezes.
Amy gives Scrouge a slightly strained smile, "It's been so long, we're all itching to hear her again."
Your manager chuckles as he sits himself at the table, taking a sip of the drink in his gloved hands, "Well, sometimes you have to go through the mill to fuel you and damn did this town give her that fuel."
The temptation to move tables is very strong between three of the friends, but that thought gets scrubbed once Shadow takes a seat right across from Scrouge with a look that screamed 'challenge accepted', "And if that fuel's source was from a misstep?"
Scrouge meets his gaze, "Fuel burns the same, don' it?"
The two hedgehogs stare at each other with contempt before Sonic motions to the stage, "The band is slowing their piece, I think she's coming out."
As the lights in the speakeasy began to dim and a spotlight aimed for the middle of the stage appeared, a hushed buzz falls over the stimulated crowd.
Scrouge turns his attention to the stage, a genuine smile falls on his lips, "Send 'em to the pearly gates, Angel."
Three taps from the drums, then from behind the velvet curtain you begin to sing.
"Long, long time ago
I had my own little show.
Was a beautiful, a lovable angel."
Hearing your singing, Shadow is already entranced. Oh how he has missed your voice.
"But he took the spotlight, shining so bright
Left me to fade away.
But honey, now the turn is mine."
With a flare, the instrumentalists softness is replaced with a crescendo, breathing an electric vibe to the area.
The crowd cheers as the curtain opens to reveal you.
Now fully seeing you, some of the cheers turn into hungry whistles of approval.
Your short dress, black and fitted, going down to your hips before loosening up, with a silk white ribbon tied into a bow on your chest. Paired along, elbow length black gloves, sheer stockings with black embroidery that hugs plushily against your thighs and small black heels.
Your eyes quickly scan the packed speakeasy, 'This is your redeeming moment, Angel.' With a discreet grounding breath, you continue your euphoniousness.
Everyone but Scrouge listened in utter stupefaction. This is the new Angel?? At this point none of them could differentiate if they are listening to an angel or a siren.
To play into the new atmosphere, you hold onto an edge of your black dress, giving the audience an innocent curtsy with a sly wink.
"We’ve got lots to do little errand boy
Come to me at cloud nine.
To be the perfect angel, some sin must be done."
Faces of those who doubted and ridiculed you quickly blur in your vision as you continue what you liken to lyrical therapy.
"You...
told me what to do and what to say,
I couldn’t escape.
You...
got to choose the ending of my fate.
You put me astray."
You put more power into your voice, channel your long hidden frustration as you belt out the chorus.
"But not anymore!
I’m in control!
I have the stage, You can’t turn the page.
Now all eyes on me!"
Rouge turns to Scrouge, her expression a mix between astonishment and awe, "No wonder you're not a soft snap."
Scrouge merely glances at Rouge with pride before returning his attention back to you.
"You....
Said I wasn’t good enough to stay, you put me away."
Shadow's outburst at you that night as you tried to share your fears and frustration. You just wanted to confine in your beloved, to be reminded that your dreams weren't just poppycock.
"You....
took away my future and my fame,"
His words joined the cacophony, words that have morphed into invisible shackles that kept you muted for so long.
"But now that will change."
You look back up into the crowd with a tempting grin,
"Focus on me!
I’ll be all that they see!
I’ll make them sway, No, can’t run away
Now all eyes on me!"
By this point, the crowd is completely entranced. Between the swinging on the dancefloor and the hearty cheers, there is not a single one not under your spell.
And as you do a little dance with your bandmates, your smile nearly falters as your eyes catches onto scarlet ones across the space.
Any feeling of unease morphs into indignation. Your true step forward toward this new you and here he is with the gall to show up?
You turn to lift the head of the mic off its stand and make your way to the piano. You hop to sit on top as the instrumentals slow down for the bridge.
"You don’t know what it’s like to drown away,
in a puddle of shame."
You close your eyes and bring the mic to your chest, hands clasp as if in prayer
You cross your legs and slowly lay yourself onto the piano,
You turn your head toward the crowd; And even with the volumed approval, you make sure that the only eye contact you make is with Shadow. A message for him, of course what he takes from it is his own battle.
As the instrumentals wind back up towards the chorus, you spot Scrouge at the same table. You don't think you've ever seen him look this proud.
You return his smile with your own as you plop yourself back down onto your feet.
"But not anymore!
I’m in control!
I’m have the stage
You can’t turn the page
So do as you’re told!"
You glide across the stage with eloquence and as you play up the atmosphere. You don't think you've ever felt so sure of yourself before, you want to bask in it for however long it remains.
"I’ll make them sway
No, can’t run away.
Now all eyes on me!
Now all eyes on, All eyes on me!"
The crowd is boisterous as you land your final note. Sonic is the first to break the comatose spell at the table by letting out a series of whoops and whistles, followed shortly by Amy. Even Rouge, who is not known for giving public explicit congratulations, felt compelled to join the rounds of applause.
"Still think she's a ditzy dame that'll wash up without a dollar to her name?"
Shadow turns to look at Scrouge, not even hiding his cringe hearing his own hurtful words repeated. Scrouge stands up and sneers, "Ya nearly broke my little orchid with those words."
He downs the rest of his drink and sets his cup down with a thud, "Yer lucky that tonight is her night, otherwise I wouldn't hesitate to pop ya up."
"I'm so glad you all enjoyed my little number so much. Keep that energy up for me, won't you?" You blow a kiss at the audience. Shadow could've sworn he saw a couple of patrons frothing at the mouth.
The green hedgehog turns his attention to the rest of the crew, his previous expression given way for his usual arrogance, "I gotta make some rounds, but I certainly hope you enjoyed the show. "
Once he was out of earshot, Sonic let out a whistle, "Now I may be plunging, but I think he doesn't like you very much."
Amy glances over at Shadow as his face contorts into one of deep contemplation, "What are you going to do?"
Shadow tightens his fist.
He deserves this. He hurt you when all you were doing was being the same self that he had grown to adore. He knew it wasn't going to be easy to talk to you tonight, much less try and make things right, but he also knew that he would never forgive himself if he didn't try.
He missed you, emphatically. He just hopes that this time apart, you still held even a sliver of what he feels for you.
‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹ ˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹
Your discography for the night is actually pretty small, a total of 7 songs (you suspect that Scrouge negotiated for it so you can have more time in between to decompress), but any time you are not singing, you are out with Scrouge forming more connections.
You've seen Scrouge in action before but he never fails to impress you with how easily he can navigate a conversation in his favor. Sticking with Scrouge has the added benefit of deterring any unwelcomed bodies that clearly have less than honorable intentions with getting close to you.
"Angel, you were amazing out there!" A vibrant pink hedgehog praises you as she pulls you into a hug.
You stiffen for a moment but quickly return the hug (mainly before Scrouge thinks it better to get a bouncer involved), "Thank you, Amy."
Her blue blurred companion ambles over with a wide grin, "You really showed us how it's done."
You let out a nervous chuckle, your previous feeling of safety waning a bit.
It wasn't so much that the two of them made you uncomfortable by themselves, rather the person they are associated with. But you weren't going to be rude to them, they haven't done anything to wrong you.
And you couldn't lie, you did miss their company; they're the ones that had helped you feel more acclimated to the city when you first started your journey.
"I appreciate your support, really." You share. Amy takes ahold of your hand and looks at you with such sincerity that makes your heart clench, "Of course and no matter what, we believe in you."
Whether it was the words you always wished to hear, reaching your 'being around your ex's friends' quota, or perhaps a mixture of both, you start to feel a little turbulent. Best to excuse yourself before things get worse.
You give an award winning smile at them both, "Thank you. I have to freshen up a bit, but thank you again for your support." Before briskly slipping away, making your way back to your dressing room.
Once you are safe in your fluffy, velvety confines you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, "Now's not the time to get balled up, Angel.."
You make your way to your vanity, ready to fix-up what being in an packed speakeasy can do to one's makeup when you notice several letters on top.
There lay a tented note on top of the pile that reads:
A little present ~xoxo Rouge'
You narrow your eyes a bit before picking up the smaller stack of letters, "I thought Scrouge said no fan letters.."
The fact that the envelopes are not addressed doesn't help your hesitancy, but curiosity brings you to open and read the first formally crumpled letter.
The first letter just has the date written with a few words scribbled out. Once you squint and bring the letter to the light, you can see that the few legible words are 'Dear Angel' and 'My soul Angel'.
Your heart picks up at the latter phrase. Only one person has called you that.
You move on to the second formally crumpled letter, this one having a bit more written plus the scribbling attempt was just being a squiggly line, leaving the words very readable:
'My dearest Angel,
you left with your manager earlier this month and not a day goes by where I do not think of you.'
'It has been 2 months since I last saw you, and even with this letter being my tenth attempt to write to you, nothing I wri-'.
Fourth letter dated a couple of weeks after:
'If these letters reach you, would you still give me the time of day? Could you still look at me with those alluring eyes and speak sweetly to me with your heavenly voice?'
By the fifth letter, you can feel your eyes becoming misty. This had to be some cruel joke...It just had to be..
You flip through the other letters, barely skimming through when you reach the last one that was dated from last week that just read:
Your tears are freely flowing, tears that symbolize the level of ache this break up has caused. "I was so close. So damn close.." You mutter as the letters are slammed onto the vanity.
Disordered is a good way to describe your state of emotions at the moment. You loved him, it was obvious to anyone that saw you two together. You thought you had found someone that was stern enough to be objective but caring enough to rid any physical or emotional aches with soft kiss and hands that were only gentle with you.
He was seared into your being and you happily basked in the heat, believing that that was what he was experiencing too. But you were wrong.
The day after your argument, you tried going back to his apartment to try and smooth things over but Rouge told you he had gone out last night and hadn't come back to their place.
It took two days for Shadow to show back up and everything was just worse after that. When he saw you he just walked by, when you tried to speak with him he'd say 'I'm busy' or 'I don't have time to deal with this'. After a week of this constant heartless rejection, you finally broke down in front of Scrouge during your one of rehearsal.
Once you told Scrouge about everything that had happened, you had to literally hold him back from leaving. Scrouge usually keeps his gun concealed as to not 'frighten his delicate orchid', but it was brought out so fast that you barely had time to register its presence before grabbing at him.
That loving heat that previously kept you warm had transformed into something torturous.
Sonic, Amy, and even Rouge had stopped by your place to try and check on you, but Scrouge was fierce in making sure anyone associated with Shadow was barred from seeing you.
And a couple of weeks later, you and Scrouge left town.
Months of trying to get your voice back, to heal. It sure hasn't been easy but you have been getting better.
Yet, these easily rippable methods of communication seem to shed another light on this whole nonsense that you don't even know if you want to see.
It's tiring being in an emotional cyclone. You just want to feel content, to feel in control again.
You run your thumb across the letters on the page.
You grab a nearby blank sheet of paper and write a message for Rouge to pass along to the hedgehog: 'Tell him to come to my room after the show.'
For you, the first steps of taking back control and your happiness is to face it head on.
‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹ ˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹
Shadow passes by Rouge's staff backstage as makes his way to your dressing room, his usual expression deepened in concentration.
When Rouge whispered in his ear that you called for him, he nearly choked on his drink. He originally thought she was teasing him, but once she showed the note with your handwriting he knew it was the truth.
"Her fire extinguisher and I will be talking business after, so you'll get your chance then." Rouge had added. If tonight went well he'd owe Rouge a jewel for her troubles.
When Shadow stands before your door, he notices how tense has body has become. If that damn Sonic saw how nervous he was, he'd surely never hear the end of it.
He takes a deep breath through his nose before knocking on the door.
There was a couple beats of silence before he heard, "Come in."
As he enters, you are seated at your vanity in your fluffy robe with your back toward him, reading some letters
He gently closes the door behind him as he moved just behind the center table, he had been running through simulations on how the talk could go throughout the night but now that he is here, he feels himself tongue-tied.
There are very few times Shadow has felt unease, but the risk of messing up again has made him the most nervous he has probably ever been.
After a few more seconds of silence, you find your voice, "Why did you come tonight?" Your voice not betraying the churning feelings within.
Pausing to also find his voice, Shadow couldn't bring himself to look directly at you as he starts, "I wanted..to see you."
Your grasp on the letter in your hand tightens slightly, "You wanted to see me. For what?" You refuse to look at him, only taking in the sight of what is in front of you.
Your string of patience is being stressed. You push back, "About what?"
Shadow clamps up, his mind deliberating so intensely that it seems to take up all his focus.
You bite down on your lower lip, unknowingly holding your breath for his answer, 'You wrote It down, so if you really mean it, say it.'
Shadow's grip tightens around his bicep, "About..us."
The string's stress grows.
"What about us?" You nearly hiss out the word 'us'; you are not about to talk this man through this conversation as you would a child.
On the other end of the conversation, Shadow is also kicking himself. He knows he's not the best with his emotions, but Gaia is he messing up hard, "About..where we left off."
You shoot up from your seat, the letter still tightly in your grasp, "Where we left off? If I remember correctly, you were pushing me away and dismissing me when I tried to talk to you, making me feel like I no longer mattered."
You turn back to look at him, indignation radiating from you, "So do tell me, where exactly did we 'leave off'?"
Now making eye contact, this conversation, one that both of you have been yearning to have, feels real. Facing each other, each other's goals unknown to each other.
Shadow swallowed, "I didn't mean to hurt you.."
You roll your eyes as you let out a laugh of disbelief , "Oh tell it to Sweeny. Does near publicly giving someone the mitten really show you didn't mean to hurt them?"
He felt his own voice rising, "You don't understand-" You interject, taking a step forward, "I never seem to 'understand' with you."
You continue forward, "And you know what? I don't! I don't understand why you're so hot and cold! I don't understand how you can kiss me one night and curse me out the next! I don't understand why I was no longer enough to be in your life! Gaia-damn it all, I don't understand why I had to fall in love with you!"
Your voice shakes in place of your body as you throw the letter in his direction, "To show up when I am set to perform and leaving these notes for me to read, how in blazes could I understand?"
Shadow stares quizzically down at the paper before leaning over to grab it, 'Letters?'
He skims the writing and immediately goes taunt.
He was certain that he had thrown these away, so how could she have possibly gotten ahold of them?
When he looks up and sees your breaking expression....pride be damn.
You find yourself taking a step back as Shadow makes his way towards you, "H-huh?" To be honest, you were preparing to slap him to kingdom come if he tried sneaking a kiss, so the last thing you expect Shadow to do is take hold of your hands and get down his knees before you.
"Angel...no, [y/n], I'm sorry," He can't bring himself to look you in the eyes, "You deserved not even a fragment of the pain I caused you. You did absolutely nothing wrong."
The gates of emotions so carefully crafted to be sealed are bursting, all in the name of and only for you.
"When we first met, you apologized on Scrouge's behalf when he bumped into me and gave him a quick verbal lashing that closed his head right up when he tried biting back." He can feel his voice beginning to tremble slightly, "Most people are not worth grabbing my attention, but at that moment my attention was solely on you and it still persists."
Memories of your laughter, your singing, the quiet confessions of mutual affection stir within his mind, "You're sharp witted, you're committed to your craft, completely and utterly captivating in every essence of the word. It felt like every breath I took whispered for you and every touch from you left me feeling secure in a way I haven't felt in so long."
The energy that had fueled your anger has been doused with the tears that flow without restraint leaving you only able to whisper, "Then why?"
It is then that when he lifts his head, you see the tears threatening to fall as well, "To let someone in so unreservedly...only one other was able to do that,"
You don't even have to guess who. Though if he is bringing her up, then you know without a doubt that he is speaking from his heart.
"The thought of losing you had me feeling increasingly hysterical, it just felt like too much. So I hid. I reverted back to how I used to deal with things, just shutting the feelings out. Even tried convincing myself that you would be happier and safer without being around me."
You don't even realize what you are doing until your hand is already caressing his cheek but still, you do not pull away. Shadow stiffens momentarily before slightly nuzzling against you, this long awaited touch nearly breaks him.
Your voice shudders through your emotions, "You shattered me, Shadow...That is not something I can just immediately look past..."
He shakes his head, "And I wouldn't want you to. If you would allow me, I want to earn back the privilege of loving you. With the pain I've caused, you deserve nothing less."
Within you, a battle rages. Shadow, the one that caused so many tear soaked nights, is begging for your forgiveness. It would've been satisfying to give him a hard rejection that will leave him aching, but you know that you cannot do it. You love him too much.
You both want each other, that much is clear to you, but your previous statement holds true. If you were to jump right back in with no proper plan, you fear that it lead toward another heart wrenching rupture.
You glide your gloved hands from his cheek to tilt his chin so he is only looking at you, "Shadow, on your feet."
Without breaking his gaze, he stands before you.
"I can't say I forgive you yet, but..... I can't say I don't still feel love for you either," You admit with a light blush creeping through your fur, "You will have to put the effort to make things right if you want us to be...us."
Pensively, Shadow nods, "I'll do what I can to prove myself worthy of being called your partner again."
Though Shadow would love nothing more than to kiss you till you are both breathless, he instead asks, "May I..hold you?"
For the first time in what felt like eternity, you softly smile up at him, "You may."
Gingerly, he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his forehead against yours. You allow yourselves to sit in the silence, pacing your healing.
Some time passes before either one of you speaks, the one to break it being Shadow, "I..also wanted to tell you, you did amazing out there."
Your heart warms at the compliment. You've been getting them all throughout the night, but hearing it from Shadow makes you feel skittish, "Thank you. It-" You slightly turn your head at your confession,"...Means..alot coming from you." Shadow chuckles at your expression and you feel your face becoming warmer from hearing his velvety tone.
"You had the crowds attention from the first note." Shadow starts before turning your gaze to meet his own that left you nearly breathless with their intensity.
"But my eyes were already on you, they always have been."
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