I think some people need money. I think many are scammers. I think some have convinced themselves they can't work but can. I think some don't want to work and use labels/intersections to guilt people into giving money

"Mutual aid", to me as a defined term, means aiding someone mutually. It's reciprocal. It isn't a donation. It's a part of community. The community sees a member with a problem and rallies to help that person. Not to just put a band aid on an issue but enact change in their life. This means setting boundaries, this means being compassionate, and this means the thing that's forgotten: letting people learn for themselves

Sometimes supporting people means telling them to take responsibility for themselves. To take action and direction in their lives. If they can't see this for themselves, then one has to distance oneself

I didn't have these views until I moved to New England and saw an entire city filled to the brim with affluent, adult queer people who've failed to launch and refuse to try to better themselves. I grew up in a place filled with poverty and oppression they've never seen and can't imagine. And I was middle class! I just had poor relatives&friends!

The people I see here, adults, my peers- they're unable to take care of themselves. I both pity them and am enraged by them. If my people back home had access to even one half of the resources they did, can you imagine how much suffering would be relieved? If whole communities had access to these opportunities and didn't have to spend time and energy creating *actual* grassroots mutual aid networks to fill the gaps?

Sometimes people offer to pay in exchange for help with something I'm skilled in. I think about that a lot. It would be transactional the whole way. I was taught to help your neighbor because it's good and your neighbor helps you. This is a foundation that society runs on. But I could help someone here, be praised for kindness, and that same person would want compensation in return if I asked for help. Even my Yankee *friends* ask to pay me for helping them, which is sacrilegious to me