christopher

To Catholic lgbt people, I want to remind you that you are valid and that God made you this way for a purpose.

and while im on the bathroom scene ilya was trying to be cruel to protect himself from intimacy + ruin shanes ability to have expectations of him AND IT DOESNT WORK!!!!!!!!! FOR EITHER OF THEM!!!! shane is literally looking at him like he hung the stars like ilya just showed him that he still wants him + still likes him + shane is treating it like theyve shared something sacred and ilya realizes hes literally Right. He isnt crafting that kind of cruelty for anyone else . he isnt pushing anyone else like that . Having shane value that part of him turns it into DEEEEEEP intimacy for Both of them

and hes trying to punish shane by giving him mean mean instructions but hes also soaking up shanes relief and giving him explicit orders <- something hes done purposefully over and over To Calm Shane Down . Which he enjoys partially because HE gets to be the one calming shane down!!! like hes fooling himself!! hes trying to congratulate himself on holding back from letting shane see him but he is doing all his favorite stuff to shane and soaking in all of shanes beautiful reactions + shane is seeing him the whole time