Wylde's Bariatric Journey

I’m 42. I weigh over 270 lbs. I’m not really sure of the exact weight because I’ve refused to weigh myself in the last few months. 

Ya know, I used to be that person (like last week I was that person) who said that signing up for weight loss surgery was the easy way out. It makes me a failure. It means I don’t have the will power or the fortitude or the willingness to do the work. Then I started to research and I talked to a doctor and realized all my assumptions were wrong. 

Did you know that most insurance companies require you to lose weight to get the surgery? Some require months of meeting with a physical trainer, psychologist and/or a dietician. There is no “easy fix” for weight loss. I would actually argue that the surgery is more difficult than conventional weight loss options. 

Why did I finally decide to do this? 

I’ve struggled with being overweight since I had my first child. Since then, I’ve steadily gained weight and fought my body for over 20 years now. I don’t eat massive amounts of food but I give into sweets when I shouldn’t and I have hypothyroidism that went undiagnosed until I was over 240 lbs. Once it was diagnosed, I could finally lose weight and that started the yoyo process. Up...down....up... down..If I worked really hard, I could get down to 220 which is where I was when I found out I was on borrowed time.

Five years ago, I was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease which means my kidneys will eventually shut down. Since that time, I’ve gained another 50lbs. 

My obesity will literally kill me if I don’t get it under control. The longer I’m overweight, the more stress it puts on my kidneys and the sooner they will fail. If I’m obese when they fail, no transplant center will take me. Weight loss surgery is the drastic life change I need to get this under control. 

I’m scared. I’m afraid I’m making the wrong choice. I’m scared something could go wrong. I won’t let that fear stand in the way of the life I could have. 

3/19/21

My insurance requires my primary care physician to approve my bariatric surgery so I had an appointment this week.

It was relatively easy but he treated me like I hadn't done any research even though my bariatric institute sent him the paperwork. I had to sit through the condescending tone, the same lecture on eating healthy and making the right choices. Fat does not equal stupid.

Why don't people realize this is a hard choice. It's not like I woke up one morning and decided I needed this. It's a lifelong battle and, so far, I'm losing. I've weighed the pros and cons. I've done the research. I know how hard this will be and I have no illusions about what will change.

I asked my fiance if I should tell people before. He said "Are you set on doing this?" "Yes" "Then their opinion doesn't matter and I don't want them filling you with negative thoughts so, no."

I didn't understand at first but now even my doctor's condescending attitude and assumptions are enough to make me angry. I'm definitely not telling anyone other than close family for now.

279.2 lbs

I spoke to my nephrologist yesterday and she won't approve my surgery yet. 😞

I'm starting a new medication for my kidneys so she wants me to wait a month so she can run labs and make sure everything is good with the new meds.

I have my appointment next week with my PCP to get a sign off from him and my psych evaluation is scheduled the week after that. Hopefully I can get approved for surgery by mid-April.

I started this journey by complete accident, really. My son is also obese and I wanted to get him help so I started to look into medically assisted weight loss. That led me to a bariatric medical facility near me that offered both solutions. I agreed to see the doctor with my son to help motivate him and because I needed to lose weight as well. Once I talked to the doctor about the seriousness of my weight plus my medical conditions, I realized that surgery wasn't the magic pill but it was my best option for changing my life and successfully keeping the weight off. After the consultation with the doctor (telehealth, thanks covid) I received three more calls that day. 

First was the physical trainer. She asked me what my exercise routine was like (walking from one room of my house to the other?) and then talked to me about the requirements before surgery. So what do I have to do? 30 - 45 minutes of heart beat increasing activity and daily abdominal exercises to prepare the muscles for surgery. So much for this being easy! 

My second call was from the dietician. We discussed what the requirements would be for before the surgery as well as after the surgery. I need to start a food diary and look through the documents she sent on the diet plan before and after. This is where things get crazy. I have to go on a liquid diet two weeks before the surgery to shrink the liver. Two weeks......of liquids.....BEFORE the surgery. Again, this is going to be difficult but well worth the effort in the long run. 

The third call was from the insurance coordinator who had the information on what my insurance required prior to the surgery. Come to find out, most insurances have a set of guidelines and hoops you have to jump through before they'll approve your surgery. Thankfully mine wasn't all that bad but I've joined a facebook support group and heard the stories from other patients who had to go through months of therapy, exercise and dieting before they were qualified for the surgery. My requirements were simple. I have to have a psychiatric evaluation, medical records from my primary care physician, approval from my primary care physician and documentation of my previous weight loss attempts. 

So now that I've made the decision to go through with this, I decided to talk to people close to me about it. Oof. 

First was my fiance. He knows, as I do, that he has been a big hindrance to my weight loss attempts in the past five years. He loves to show his love through food by taking me out to new restaurants and eating rich food while spending time together. He'll bring me home treats or if he hears me say something about a craving, he goes and gets what I'm craving. Thomas (my fiance) and I are very honest with each other. We're in a polyamourous relationship (that's a whole different blog I might write someday) which requires us to be totally honest about our feelings and our thoughts even when it's hard. We had a long talk about why he feels that love is tied to food and how we can change that. We talked about his fears of me changing or things between us changing as I lose weight. No matter what, he wants me to be healthy and to live longer so we'll work through those issues together. I think it's important for me and him to remember that this whole process isn't just about me but those around me as well. 

I talked to my mother about it. She lives with us and she was very supportive. She understands where I'm coming from because she's been overweight her whole life. She now has type 2 diabetes and she worries that I'll end up with the same problems she has on top of my own health problems. Ultimately she is probably the most supportive in this.