WRAP Whispering softly into the digital void

I have just been food shopping and I am now thinking that I may need to take out another mortgage. A week’s shop a few years ago was under fifty pounds and now it is nearly double that. I should mention at this point that the expenditure on this occassion does not include any wines or spirits; it's not Christmas yet!

Back in my early days when I first started work, I was on the princely sum of seven pounds fifteen shillings. That was not bad when petrol was two shillings a gallon; yes a gallon. I asked my computer what the equivalent would be today and, after much whirring and banging, it tells me that it is just under 3p a litre; although admittedly that doesn't take inflation into account.

Talking about inflation, the sneaky thing I also noticed, as I unpacked my shopping, is that not only has the price of everything gone up but many of the items have become smaller. I believe the term they use for this is shrinkflation. For example, my ice cream used to come in 2 litre tubs but now they are 1.75 litres but the price has actually increased! If you are wondering what inflation is, you may wish to see the answer from the people who should really know:

One of the other ways, besides inflation, that affects my enjoyment is around the little treats that I slipped into the shopping trolley while my significant other was looking the other way.  One of these is my favourite orange flavoured chocolate covered biscuit that apparently made me part of some unnamed club. But wait, I am shocked to find that the coating is no longer chocolate as apparently the cocoa content is now too low. Oh well, it still tasted good.

The one thing I can rely on is my favourite soap that I use in the bath along with my rubber duck and loofah. The packaging doesn't seem to change, it smells the same and the width of the bar is still the same. However, just as I was mentally thanking the manufacturer for maintaining standards, I picked it up and something didn't feel quite right. With trembling hands I extracted the soap from its wrapping and subjected it to serious scrutiny. It took me some time to notice and then it came to me, the depth is different. The top and bottom of the bar used to be raised on both. Now I find that although the top is still raised the bottom is now slightly hollowed out. Yet another sneaky change!

It seems, from my forays into daytime TV, that it is not just the cost of living going up but also the cost of the final send off that is suffering the same fate. I am advised from several sources that I should make arrangements for my demise and pay up front so I don't lumber my nearest and dearest with this cost. The question is, should I do the right thing, or take the world cruise I have always dreamed about? I think I need to shop around to find the best deal on both options before I answer my own question and, of course, before the cruise prices increase yet again.

I have an interest in all things space and astronomical and had an occasion that caused me to look into one specific item associated with these lofty, pun intended, subjects. 

So it began one day while I was enjoying, if that is the right word, daytime TV. I must have been studying the inside of my eyelids for a few minutes because I found that the programme had unexpectedly changed to an American comedy called The Big Bang Theory. I admit that I found it fairly amusing so I thought I should boost my limited knowledge and look into this theory in more detail.

On reading the introduction I quickly found that the theory involves a whole bunch of complicated mathematics and is, scientifically speaking, known as the Lambda CDM model; for what it's worth even the overview was all Greek to me. Apparently, these mathematical equations and ideas are supposed to explain how the astronomer’s theory matches their real life observations. 

(See https://math.uchicago.edu/~may/REU2013/REUPapers/Older.pdf if you feel brave enough)

At the outset I must apologise to all those knowledgeable physicians and mathematicians who must be tearing their hair out at my ramblings. However there are some aspects in all this that, to my aging mind, don't always gel or at least could have problems. So maybe, just maybe, with these issues it should be renamed The Damp Squib Theory and we should await the arrival of the greater minds of the future.

As I understand it, the current theory says that a long time ago, before I was even born, there was nothing. It was not just nothing in a massive volume of empty space but absolutely nothing at all, not even the universe that we all live in or indeed time itself. Then suddenly for no known reason there appeared what I think they term a singularity and then a bang. (Not sure how they knew it made a bang because there was no one around to hear it.  The old question along the lines of a tree falling in the woods comes to mind.)

This singularity then expanded, in a similar manner to my waistline, getting bigger and bigger until it evolved into the universe we know today. For a more informative explanation I can  refer you to:

https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/space-science/what-was-before-big-bang

I know that the great minds who developed this theory should be correct in their conjectures,  but remember there were times when the greatest minds knew that the earth was flat and that the heavens rotated around it.  So from my limited understanding, when reading about the theory, it starts to raise questions as even these current crop of  great minds have had to employ a few wiggles to make the sums for their theoretical model match the realities of their observations.

If I may digress for a moment; back in my school days, maths was one subject that I quite liked although I can't claim it actually liked me back . I had a concept that I called the Variable Coefficient of Adjustment (VCA), something which I had to employ on many occasions. This useful variable for any maths question always represented the difference between the value that I arrived at from my calculations and that of the correct answer. To provide some meager assistance in resolving the issues about the big bang theory, and on behalf of the great minds, I will therefore be presenting to you the WRAP Equation that employs this useful variable.

To make their model meet observations, the current theory seems to employ not one but two variables that they refer to as dark matter and dark energy. As an aside, I discovered that the great minds themselves do not seem to have much of an idea what either of these are in reality. So, for the sake of the WRAP equation I am going to assign these as variables Vm and Ve respectively.

There is yet another little wriggle in that the great mind's observation values depend on certain assumptions. These include such things as the speed of light has been constant over the lifetime of the universe and that the strength of dark matter is consistent across the vastness of space. I read at least one, if not both, of these assumptions are subject to a degree of uncertainty. Again for the sake of the WRAP equation I am going to assign this as a variable Vo.

I should also mention at this point,  Albert Einstein whose equations must surely be at the core of the foundations underpinning this theory. I am not brave enough to suggest that there could be anything questionable about his work as, after all, he is acknowledged as having one of the greatest minds in recent times! I understand that it is even considered heresy in the scientific community to even have such thoughts. So in terms of the WRAP equations I dare not assign a further variable.

Summing that all up, to get the theoretical model to match observations you simply need to solve this equation for this new value of the VCA by starting at zero and apply the variables as follows:

VCA = O +/-Vo +/-Vm +/-Ve

So, if the relevant Nobel prize committee read this piece of nonsense,  and feel I have actually contributed,  then  I would be prepared to accept the prize for either maths or physics if it is offered. The prize money should be sent directly to Help the Aged.

It is a commonly known fact that as one gets older the memory starts to go. Things from the past can be as clear as day but can  I remember where I put my glasses a few minutes ago? Not a chance. 

I don't think I am at the stage of forgetting because of impending dementia just yet, but I would probably say that wouldn't I even if I were. Having experienced a parent falling prey to that awful disease I would hope to be able to spot the signs; so fairly sure I still have vestiges of my old self.

So I am on the hunt for a solution to help me with the glasses location problem.  My initial  thought was that I could attach one of those sticky note things every time I put something down. A simple glance around the house would clearly show me that there was an object that required attention. I devised a cunning colour scheme, red for glasses, blue for car keys and yellow for pens. Putting that into practice threw up two problems; firstly where the heck  did I put those sticky notes and secondly the house looked a mess; pretty colours but still a mess.

The next thought came to mind while eating my breakfast and watching the morning news when the nice lady on the TV mentioned that there was something called Artificial Intelligence or AI that could solve all the world’s problems. On one hand it might, they considered, put everyone out of work but, on the other hand, there could be positives as people would be free to indulge in whatever made them happy. I foresee one possible negative with the second one in that people would be at home full time which may not please other members of the household.  Retirement with my significant other has brought that point home to me; apparently in the house part time: good, full time: not good. For those that feel brave enough to want to look into this I can point you to this:

It turns out there is more than one AI. In fact there seems to be hundreds of them. I turned on my computer and loaded up my word processing software … and there it was. I sat back to wait for it to automatically write the complaint letter to the post office for failing to deliver my parcel on time. However, it turns out I actually have to type the letter before it would help me put it in words that would not get me arrested. I did find that I could use something called a template but the text it gave me didn't even mention the post office nor anything at all about my parcel; so that was not much use. I looked around for some alternative assistance but found that everytime I started some software or other there was yet another AI.

So with some trepidation I decided that I should go on the Google thing in the interweb and ask it to give me some more information of which of these AIs would be the most appropriate for finding glasses. And yes, as soon as I asked it the question, another AI popped up and offered to help me. 

Unfortunately I didn’t get the response I was looking for. It appears there aren't any AIs that can find my glasses;  not so intelligent after all is it!

When I was young I can remember when the weather was better, the days were longer and there were even hours where I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to do. So what happened to change this into nowadays?

In those earlier days, very few people had even heard of climate change, the summer days sometimes changed hourly between hot and sunny to cold and wet but you could almost guarantee cold snowy winter days leading to slushy walks when there was the occasional slightly warmer one. 

At the risk of being controversial, I must say that climate change has brought some benefits to me now. I don't need to greet the dawn, get out of a warm bed and fight slowly moving traffic to struggle into work.  Instead I can turn to pleasant tasks of tending to a flourishing garden. The warmer drier winters also means that I am not plagued with too many aches and pains in the old bones. 

On the negative side of the equation, although I relish in the increased heat of the summer days, it seems I have less and less time to sit and admire the garden. As soon as my bottom meets the deckchair canvas I spot some plant, shrub or tree demanding my attention and begging for water. 

Of course the lack of rainfall means the water butt is empty and I need to invade the kitchen and fight my way through the washing up to reach the tap. The clatter as the stacked up cups topple when I try to get the watering can under the tap elicits a shout of “Can you just wash up those few things ?” There’s that dreaded word “just”. The word that means a new task has forced its way immediately before my current plan of action and on top of all the others on my already extensive  to-do list. As I put the watering can to one side to engage in my newly allotted activity a further shout of “You haven’t got those muddy shoes on my newly cleaned floor have you?” emanates from the other room. I look down in horror to see a clear line of footprints across the freshly washed tiles. Oh dear, yet another urgent job. Looking out the window I murmur to myself a quiet apology to the wilting plants.

I think it is because of having a whole new and different set of jobs that need doing, in addition to all those house maintenance tasks that used to plague my weekends and evenings in the working week, means I always have things that continually demand my time.  It's true that I also don't have the inclination to get on with some of these tasks; but that is another story.

Just the thought of all the necessary jobs that lie before me seems to shrink the time available to do them and leads to the impression of shorter days and mean there is never an hour that cannot be filled with this or that task. Talking to others of a similarly advanced stage in life it is clear that I am not alone in my concept of accelerating time. Apparently it is a common perception and I can point you to this article that explains it in far better terms than I could ever aspire to.