this is for the sillies

"I’m a cancer survivor abt to lose housing. My last ask ever for communal support is for 3k, if folks wouldn’t mind chipping in to help w the transition out of my apt, moving costs of my life upending, & losing my home b4 surgery. Thanks everyone! I (we) tried.

P/V: nubulagalaxie"

Please help me go into remission from Type II diabetes

Hello everyone, I am so sorry to remake this post, but I am very scared. I am experiencing embarassing and vulnerable symptoms- my type II diabetes is becoming progressive, and I am desperate to go into remission. It has affected my liver and my heart, and neuropathy has made me partially incontinent. On April I was hospitalized twice. I have no thyroid, and without medication, it will put me into a myxedema coma and will kill me within days. Hypothyroidism and type II diabetes is making it very difficult for me to find work, as I am from the global south (the Philippines), with government aid only covering 20,000 pesos (around 326 usd) a year. I am the only person in my family who can work; my mother is paralyzed from a brain injury, and my sister is autistic with a very low frustration threshold. I need help covering for my new medication, as I now take metformin twice a day, and phosphates to help with my liver and kidneys, and b complex to help bolster my immune system. Im sorry I keep remaking this post, I am alone and desperate. Community is all I have. Thank you so much for your endless grace and compassion.

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happy pride edition of this post lol. wont bog down the post explaining our situation, but we still need consistent help affording all our living expenses. my wife works but her job pays shit and i am trying to find work to no avail. i have the usual pay apps, as does my wife. we also have other options (like our patreon for monthly bills) and our registry if u wanna support that way. please consider helping make two struggling black queer folks' lives easier this pride month 🩷

$538.04/$1240.13 (2 days past due)

☁️The sky, just for us☁️

Francesca & Michaela

The lead up to John’s death goes like this:

Francesca, Michael and John spend time together exchanging conversation —> Francesca, Michaela and John spend time together doing their puzzle and give us the cute final piece foreshadowing

John has a headache and retires for a nap. Same in both.

Michael/Michaela and Francesca spend time alone together. In the book, they go for a walk and chat. In the show, they make another puzzle offscreen.

Francesca goes to wake John up. She screams.

Now here’s the difference: in both show and movie, Michael and Michaela hear the scream and react. But. BUT! We don’t see Michaela go up to Fran and John’s room like we see in the book. There, Michael sees Francesca sobbing and knows upon seeing John’s body that he is gone. We see that grief and that immense, unbearable loss through his eyes.

In the show, we see Michaela react to the scream. We see her walk off camera, stunned and even frightened… and the episode ends. The next time we see Michaela, she’s curled up and quiet and the stillest we’ve ever seen her on the floor of the sitting room, dressed for her dearest cousin’s funeral and completely unprepared.

And I just find that so odd because on every other aspect of the scene they recreated the beats even if not the exact circumstances (puzzle vs walk, for example), so it stands out that we didn’t get that Michaela scene equivalent. From a filmmaker standpoint, it’s a good point to end the episode on. It’s not their season. It’s good drama and good character work to get right to Fran’s processing grief, which is the centerpoing to ep7.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? We haven’t yet seen Michaela through her own lens yet, we haven’t had glimpses at her full interiority as a character. Almost all of her scenes are viewed through either Fran or John’s lens. The only time she’s Alone and Unobserved that we see is when she hears Fran’s argument with Violet. The bulk of her character work is definitely coming in season 5, which will center her as a proper lead.

So my theory is that they’re saving this scene. That we will see this in flashback during s5 as we explore Michaela’s character. This is Michaela’s greatest loss. It’s her dearest cousin. It’s looking at his body and knowing that’s not John anymore. It’s the crushing, sudden weight of losing him and her world going upside down as a result. Look, it’s material that could be right up there with Anthony’s flashbacks to his mother’s “Edmund should be here!” speech when Hyacinth was born.

I’m really hoping for flashbacks and this is one of the ones I’d like most. I want to see her confide in John, a memory of their laughter, a flashback to their time in Scotland, maybe the catalyst for Michaela’s “chaos,” so when we see the loss we know everything she feels behind it.

You make such a good point with Anthony’s flashback. Michaela’s “Edmund should be here!” is “Wake him up, Michaela! Now! Wake him up!” 😭 (I was working on this scene in my fic and gah my heart 💔)

Look. Look. In my heart of hearts, the “I have nothing!” Violet and Francesca scene (with Michaela listening) is essentially the Fran equivalent to Anthony’s “Do not ask me about family dinner” in s2. Season 4 did a lot of parallels to the previous seasons and Queen Charlotte, so I think we could get some more s2 flavored grief in here!!!