$

God i just hated my life so bad. It didn't feel like there was a point in doing anything other than rotting and cutting myself. Healthy relationship got codependent and then got weird and resentful and then I just hated myself for feeling any of it. My mood is so intrinsically linked to the seasons... I didn't see a way out of any of it until the weather started getting warmer and I decided I wanted to keep going again .. i hate this shit so bad. I hate how my life feels like a cycle, it's never good for more than two weeks at a time. I hate how I treated people and I hate how I feel about certain parts of that time and i hate all the resentment i still hold because it was such a fucking nightmare