most animals that start adapting to live more of their lives in water:
"i must grow my bones lighter and less dense so that i don't get trapped on the bottom and may float easier in this new environment"
hippos:
"denser. heavier bones. MOAR dense. Make sink the most."
mother nature:
but how will you get off the bottom when you sink?
hippos:
Make muscles more too, give all muscle.
mother nature:
and to stay warm in the water? a big layer of fat?
hippos:
no! no fat only muscle.
mother nature:
o....kay. And, you eat aquatic plants, that's why you spend so much time in the water?
hippos:
lol no. eat land grass, like cow.
mother nature:
i see. right. You eat mostly grass, so, flat grinding teeth?
hippos:
hell no. big spike teeth. sharp big teeth. Biggest
mother nature:
what, like lions? 3 inch fangs?
hippos:
course not. giant fuck-off teeth, 18 inches. Also, not just one pair, three pairs of giant sharp teeth. give
mother nature:
but you eat... grass?
hippos:
yeah. lol. Sometimes eat a zebra tho. Or a antelope. Maybe eat a crocodile, you don't know. Give all teeth, giant fuck-off teeth. Most bone! most muscle! most teeth! Me.
mother nature:
y'know what? fuck it, sure, here you go
hippo:
i'm very angry now
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