Do you think about me too?

“This place has the best Bulgogi, Samgyeopsal, and Japchae in all of Seoul.” 

Hendery does this every so often while he walks you to the restaurant you were supposed to meet your friends at, pointing out different sites he liked as the two of you passed through the streets. You were keen on typing into your notes every shopping center, park, or restaurant he’d suggest, only because of how enthusiastic Hendery was as he talked about them. 

He’d tell you about intimate or extravagant memories he’s had at those places, face set in a permanent smile the entire time. He seemed to be on a high exploring and reminiscing about good times he’s had, it made you feel blanketed in nothing but pure, unadulterated happiness.

“Hendery, are you from Seoul? Or, well, anywhere in Korea?” You ask with a shy smile as he turns to you with a raised brow, irresistibly bright laughter following after. 

“No, love,” Hendery grins at you with that smile that makes you feel warmth spread throughout your body in the brisk February air. “I’m from Macau. I’ve just lived in Seoul for half my life so I know it pretty well, it’s one of my favorite cities in the world.” 

“You’re so passionate about what you do, it makes me want to go to all these places I’ve never been to.” 

You watch him beam at you from your words, catching how strangers crossing the two of you would stare a little longer at him. It was almost refreshing to hear the way Hendery’s voice raised a pitch or two whenever he talked about being close with some owners of local restaurants or family-owned boutiques. 

“I love exploring and finding new places or things, I’m a tour guide in Macau, too. One day I’ll show you around the places I grew up.” The both of you make eye contact and you feel a rush of adrenaline cruise through you when his chocolate iris’ meet yours, a lopsided and intoxicating smile on Hendery’s face making the second you saw it feel like hours. He chuckles breathlessly, cheeks red and eyes twinkling. 

“If I can brighten up someone’s day just by showing them through some of my favorite places, I don’t mind not doing anything else for the rest of my life.”

The two of you go back and forth like old friends, catching each other up on important current and childhood moments. You learned about his three older sisters and about the way his sentences would sometimes end abruptly when he sees someone needing any form of help, apologizing to you before going over to offer any form of aid. 

The constant grin on his face is infectious, the tops of your cheeks starting to sting as the two of you weave through the streets of Downtown Seoul. The sun is just starting to peek through the clouds, and it’s as if the previously cold, gloomy atmosphere of the densely packed city brightens. 

But even as the cold, dry air picked up some warmth, your cheeks stayed a permanent pink the whole time. 

“Y/N,” Hendery comes a little closer to your right as the crosswalk gets heavier foot traffic, and when you look up at his face, the same rosy pink is painted across his face. “How long did you say you were saying in Seoul?” 

“Only two more days, I really want to stay longer, though.” You hope you don’t sound as sad as you feel, wishing you could extend your stay long before bumping into the handsome tour guide. Seoul felt like home to you, the mere week spent in the city awakening something deep in you that you’ve never felt before. 

“We should exchange numbers then! I mean, only if you want to! I could tell you more places to see-” 

“Y/N? Y/N, over here!” You turn your head with both annoyance and curiosity at the voice shouting your name over a crowd, only to see your best friend Annie leaning out of a Jeep window waving at you in the middle of traffic. “Come on, the lights going to turn green any moment!” 

You gulp, turning back to Hendery with a sadness that solidifies and sinks to the bottom of your stomach. He looks at you with that godforsaken grin, tinged with a badly covered up hint of sadness that fades when you reach out to hold his hand. He quickly wraps both hands around yours, enveloping it with warmth and promise, before reaching up to gingerly kiss the skin of your knuckles. 

“Until the next time, soulmate.” 

You quickly learn it’s hard to keep track of time with Wong Hendery’s touches. 

It all happens so fast, everything that comes after those few ending words. Annie yells your name again and instinctively, you lean forward to plant a short and sweet kiss on the startled boys cheek. Grinning one last time, you squeeze Hendery’s warm hands before letting go and sprinting towards the Jeep, mind empty with only the image of Hendery and his twinkling brown eyes there. 

“Who was that? Did you get his number?” Annie asks as you scoot into the car, greeting all of your friends in it with a larger than life grin. You shake your head at her, smile still wide on your face. 

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll find a way.” 

Current Day

Rolling your lips into your mouth, you cross your arms when you stand in front of the random park you accidentally strolled into. You were definitely lost, but at least now you knew you were in Yeouido Hangang Park.

Chuckling under your breath, you walk over to a bench and sit down with a loud sigh from walking so much; closing your eyes behind massive black sunglasses to fully relax against the wooden pew. Seoul in April was definitely your favorite time of the year from the short week you’ve been here, the sun shining brightly and the breeze-- airy and the perfect counterbalance. 

But even as the heat felt good against your skin, the memory of a cold day in February two years ago has never been able to leave your mind. 

A gentle, masculine voice ends all thought in your mind, asking if the seat next to you on the bench was taken in Korean. You quickly open your eyes, shaking your head and uttering no in not-so-confident Korean. 

After the last time you were in Seoul, you chose to give learning Korean a go, deciding that one day you would definitely live here and wanting to know the language. 

You’re about to scoot over more on the bench until you look up at the man and your eyes instantly go wide behind the dark shades.

“Hendery?”

The second those same, sparkly brown eyes meet yours, you instantly take off your sunglasses and bask in the widest, most exultant smile you’ve ever seen. He looks like he’d just won the lottery, a cocktail of disbelief and elation clear on his face. 

“The universe is definitely rooting for us.” Hendery bites down on his bottom lip with a wide grin, sitting close beside you to take you in for a warm hug. It takes you a moment to realize what’s happening, forgetting how comforting it was to be around him and never having been hugged by him at all. His arms felt secure and firm, your skin feeling cold the instant Hendery pulls away beaming. “You aren’t lost this time, though, I’m guessing?”

You chuckle shyly, reluctantly pulling away from the comfort of his chest and unable to stop the broadening of your smile when you take in his features. “I’m one hundred percent lost but just been walking a while so I needed to sit and relax.” 

“You didn’t look lost at all, I thought you were just a regular person chilling at the park.” He doesn’t take his eyes off of you as he speaks, laugh matching yours in pitch and brightness. “And when did you start learning Korean?”

“Learned from someone that being lost doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” Your cheeks are flushed, looking away from Hendery’s piercing brown eyes completely bashful, with the nervous giggle to prove it. “I know I’m terrible at it, I started learning right after the last time I visited but I’m pretty slow at it.” 

He’s quiet for a handful of seconds and when you hesitantly look over, you catch the way Hendery looks at you as if in awe before a shy grin replaces his previously slack jaw. “Please tell me you don’t have to be anywhere soon.” He inches closer to you on the bench, leaning over to tuck a stray strand of hair off your face. “My favorite place in Seoul’s a fifteen minute walk.” 

Hendery hasn’t changed in the two years you haven’t talked, conversation flowing as if you’ve known each other for years. He asks you questions about your hometown and about what the last two years brought you, if you preferred tea over coffee. It makes you feel special, answering questions you’ve never been asked before, how Hendery nods and beams after every sentence that comes from you. 

You almost forget Hendery’s supposed to be taking you to his favorite place, far too caught up in the presence of the boy beside you to notice the wash of falling bubblegum pink petals in front of you. 

You have to do a double take once you first see the cherry blossoms, looking at Hendery in complete disbelief before looking back at the falling petals with tears almost rising to the tops of your eyes. Cherry blossoms were your favorite flowers and you’ve never seen them in person before, not even knowing they bloomed in Korea. 

After a few moments of watching the flowers fall from the dark brown branches, the both of you utter how ‘cherry blossoms are your favorite flower’ before blushing feverishly and giggling as you walked through the handful of people that crossed the same path. 

Hendery’s explaining to you how his grandmother used to take him to a cherry blossom field when he was younger before he gets a call and groans, uttering a quick sorry before pulling out his phone. He turns to you with an apologetic frown, “I’m really sorry but I really have to take this.”

You quickly give him a reassuring smile, not minding in the slightest. You look back at the cherry blossom trees when Hendery talks in quick and lucid Cantonese into his phone. Even if you didn’t understand the language, it was always nice to listen to, the sentences flowing in an almost poetic manner. 

Hendery, however, looks slightly downcasted as he ends the call, a small smile slowly growing on his face as he lightly tugs on your elbow to get your attention. “Sorry about that, I forgot that I’m supposed to be somewhere in five minutes. Today’s my eldest sisters birthday and it’s the first time she’s holding a party.” 

You chuckle lightly, taking in his shy smile and handsome features, never wanting to look away. “Don’t apologize, Hendery! You should go soon then.”

“Yeah, I should.” He mutters, eyes scanning yours before gulping thickly and  inching closer towards you and kissing you, hands cupping your jaw as pretty pink petals falling around the both of you. 

Your arms circle around him, wanting him impossibly closer, as his lips press and move against yours. There’s a tangible magic that rushes through your veins, pumping nothing but adrenaline and endorphins. Hendery kisses you with nothing but certainty, hands cradling your face with nothing but promise. 

You’re the first to pull away, knowing that if you didn’t, you might never at all. You catch him pout when you do, the look of Hendery’s bottom lip jutting out too cute not to kiss. You peck the perked out lip, holding his hands that were still on your face with a bittersweet smile. 

You realize the both of you hadn’t exchanged numbers again, but Hendery needed to leave and you wouldn’t be the one to stop him. 

“You need to be somewhere, mister international tour guide.”

Hendery chuckles lowly, a smile making its way onto his face when his eyes do some laps around your face. He lets go of your face but holds your hands for a moment or two before kissing them and letting go. 

“I’ll see you around, soulmate.” 

A Year Later

“Y/N, we’re definitely lost, how are you not freaking out?” Annie grumbles, trudging beside you alongside the Zhujiang River. You shrug in response, keeping your gaze focused on the pink and bright orange hues of the sky right after the sun fell through the horizon. 

The past year was dedicated to traveling to new countries you’ve never been before, already visiting cities like Singapore, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and now, Macau. 

“Freaking out won’t help, that’s why.” You stick your tongue out at Annie when she rolls her eyes. “Plus look at how pretty the sky is! This is the prettiest sunset I’ve seen yet.” 

You skip over to the railing overlooking the river, smiling almost lovingly at the departing sun, taking in the way the pink of the sky quickly turns into a pastel purple. 

Out of all the places you’ve been, Macau was the quickest to fall in love with. 

Of course, there was a very big bias to come along, but after arriving at night and being surrounded by completely lit up streets in every color -- you felt like you were in a dream. The weather was just right, just as he’d recommended it would be, and after only being in Macau Island for half a day, you’ve eaten some of the best food you’ve had in your life.

Everything almost screamed Wong Hendery. 

“Y/N? Where are you?” 

Jaehyun’s voice follows the sound of your front door opening and closing, the gentleness and worry obvious and made your chest tighten slightly. 

Seokmin’s voice was booming and eyes wild just before he left your apartment, the complete opposite to your best friend’s cautious footsteps. 

Mumbling just loud enough for him to catch that you were currently curled up in your bed, you huddle closer into the hoodie you wore and sit up on the pillows when you hear Jae’s footsteps quicken towards you. 

When he sees you slouched against your pillows, there’s a sigh full of sadness and always a hint of awe whenever he sees the curl of your eyelashes against your cheeks. Jae slows when he approaches your bed, a soft smile fitting his face when you look up at him. “Hey, fruitcake. Cute hoodie.” 

Jaehyun didn’t point out the stuffiness and red tinge your nose took or the puffy state to your glossy eyes, his eyes taking you in with the usual warmth they always did. Your nose scrunches at the nickname, Jae’s favorite dessert but your most hated. 

“I didn’t want to wear any of his, I don’t even know where this came from.” You mutter into the very large but very comfortable hoodie, one you found hanging in your closet in the farthest corner to the right. 

“Because it’s mine.” He chuckles a little breathlessly, looking away from you with pink to his cheeks and ears, tugging at the blankets that you were wrapped around. “Scoot over and give me some of the blanket, you always steal all of it.” 

Managing to draw a little laughter out of you, you move aside to let him crawl into your bed with minimal sniffling. You watch Jaehyun get comfortable under the covers on his side with an arm under the pillows and his head. Pouting slightly, you inch closer to the toasty and cozy looking boy. “Can I have a hug?” 

“You don’t have to ask, loser. Come here.” He lifts up a free hand to draw you closer to his chest with a blinding smile. Wrapping your arms around Jae and pressing your right cheek against his warm chest, everyone including you knew him to be the source for the best hugs. 

His left hand rubs up and down your spine and you sigh at the feeling, attempting to pull Jaehyun impossibly closer. “I don’t want this to end.” 

His chest rumbles slightly with deep laughter that makes a small smile slip on your face then fade as quick as it came. You frown against his shoulder, nuzzling in it for a moment before pulling away with a sigh. 

“I saw Seok talking to his ex, Mina, and when I asked him about it, he completely flipped out on me. He started yelling at me and cursing then just stormed out. He... he said I changed and I’m always too suspicious of him now.” 

Jaehyun is quiet for a while and telling by his face, very mad. His brown eyes were narrowed and jaw set, a look you’ve seen far too often on him at the mentioning of your boyfriend. After a handful of seconds, he sits up to cross his arms tightly across his chest. “Do you know where he is now?” 

You shake your head no, frowning deeply when you thought about it. The last you heard from him was an hour ago and it was almost one in the morning now. 

“Dickhead. I’ve always hated that guy.” 

“He isn’t that bad, you’ve never really hung out with him.”

Jaehyun has a frown etched deeply onto his face and the brightness in his eyes dim when you look back at him. He looks at you for a handful of moments, eyes taking in your features before sighing. Running a hand through his hair, he looks away from you with steely eyes. 

“You deserve so much more than that piece of shit, Y/N, I hope you realize that soon.” 

A week later

You grip the notecards tightly, counting to 10 slowly back and forth. 

Today was probably the most important day of your life so far, presenting a full 20 minute presentation on solutions for deforestation in the Amazon, with potential job scouts in the audience. Nervous could barely explain how you felt standing off-stage as your professor talked to the audience. 

“Please welcome our next presenter to the stage, Y/N Y/L/N!”

Blinking harshly one last time, you put on a smile as you step on stage and face the large crowd of a good 150-200 people. They all clap as you shake hands with your professor and walk up to the podium with a toothy grin. 

“Thank you, everyone! My name is Y/N and my presentation handles the challenge of deforestation within the Amazon rainforest and how methods used in Japan can combat these problems in South America.” 

You quickly take in the faces in the audience, looking for Seokmin when he wasn’t in his seat. He texted you earlier that he would be missing the first presentation but would definitely be there for the second, meaning just before you would go. A small frown is about to reach your face until you eyes go a couple seats farther back and onto Jaehyun’s contagiously wide grin. 

He holds up two thumbs up when your eyes connect, a smile easily growing on your lips when they do. 

You quickly continue with the presentation, keeping in a giggle and feeling much less nervous than you were at before going on stage. 

“Y/N!” 

You stand on your tiptoes over the crowd hearing Jaehyun’s voice cut through the loud chatter like glass, as a feeling close to a mix of adrenaline and euphoria coursing through you after finishing the presentation without a hitch. 

“You killed it, fruitcake!” Jae’s smile is as bright as the sun, even gaining attention from people around the two of you, but he still never looks away from you. “You’re definitely getting that internship at Greenpeace! Come here, I’m so proud of you!” 

Reaching his outstretched arms, you sigh happily feeling Jae’s warmth through the white button down he wore. “Jae, thank you so much. You look so good in a suit and I forget every time that you actually are a ladykiller.” 

You pull away just in time to catch a red tinge make its way to his ears before Jaehyun ruffles his hair, effectively covering them with how long his hair had gotten recently. “Please, Y/N, you definitely deserve all the compliments tonight. You look beautiful. Stunning.” 

Scoffing, you smack his chest with a blush harshly attacking your cheeks. This was something Jae loved doing for years now, relentlessly teasing you. You cover up the blush by looking around the crowd. “Have you seen Seokmin?” 

You can hear Jaehyun groan under his breath, pulling at his collar whilst looking at you sternly. His voice completely changes after you ask, the bubbly tone replaced with one of aggravation. “Don’t tell me he didn’t come today, Y/N.” 

“I just didn’t see him at the beginning of my presentation, Jae. He knows not to miss today, it’s fine. Seok showed up, I just can’t find him.” 

Frowning, you keep looking through the crowd until your eyes catch onto the straight, jet black locks of your boyfriend. You turn to Jaehyun with a smile, nodding over to where Seok stood by the food. “I found him! I’ll talk to you in a bit, okay?” 

Piercing brown eyes bore into yours, a wave of something a little deeper than sadness eating at you with the way Jaehyun looked at you. But then your best friend blinks, looking away from you with a clenched jaw and raising a flute of champagne closer to his lips. 

“I’ll be here.” 

You squeeze through the wrath of people without another word, excusing past people until you finally got Seok’s attention. A smile grows on your face, your boyfriends sharp features and cheshire cat eyes always accentuated in a suit and making him look ever so endearing. 

“Babe, I was looking for you. You look so pretty.” He reaches out a hand for your waist and you sigh silently when Seok comes closer to press his lips to your forehead. “My princess always looks so pretty.”

You play with your fingers, eyes nervously fluttering up to meet his as you nibbled on your bottom lip. “Thanks, babe. Hey, I didn’t see you during my presentation, where were you?” 

You feel Seok’s hand on your waist tighten for a second, the softness fading. “Bathroom, Y/N.” 

His eyes scan across the room and you frown at him. “For the whole 20 minutes? I couldn’t even find you after during intermission.” 

Seokmin’s dark irises snap to yours with a steeliness that makes you swallow thickly and slowly take steps away from him. 

“I don’t remember, I’m feeling a little tired, honestly. Do you have to do anything else or can we leave?” 

You feel your heart tug a little, you’ve had more fun at the exposition than you’ve had in a while and you felt so good about your presentation; but Seokmin and you haven’t been doing well until a few days ago. And going back to the constant state of fighting was something you didn’t want to do. 

“No, we can leave.” 

He holds your hand as he passes through the crowd, and it isn’t until Jaehyun’s face pops into your head that you tug at your boyfriends suit sleeve. “Wait, I need to tell Jae I’m leaving.” 

“Is Jaehyun your boyfriend or am I?” Seokmin scoffs as you pull your hand away from his with narrowed eyes. 

“Seok.” You utter, frowning as you watch his expression turn more sour by the second. “Don’t be like that, he only came here for me. I won’t take long.” 

Your boyfriend, however, doesn’t look fazed by your honey-smooth voice; jaw still clenched and lips set in a firm line. 

“Don’t bother, take your time. Have lover boy drop you off later. Or not, I don’t really care.” 

Your mouth opens in instant protest but Seokmin turns and walks away regardless, leaving you to stare dumbly at your boyfriends departing back. 

Two weeks later 

“Do you believe in multiple universes?” 

You purse your lips, the alcohol in your system making it hard to figure out if you did or didn’t. 

“I don’t think so.” You say a little shakily, Starry Eyes by Cigarettes After Sex playing lowly in the background. Your intoxicated mind playing tricks with you and making the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling seemingly twinkle. “Infinite possibilities, infinite versions of us? That’s a scary thought.” 

In Jaehyun’s drunken state, you always noticed that his laugh always got impossibly deeper, sending a static buzz to your skin every time you heard it. He laughs dreamily, his socked foot accidentally nudges yours under the blanket. 

“I think that would be so cool.” Even with the absence of a sober mind, you could still pick up on the yearning tone in his voice, how it changed from amusement to a tangible sadness. “It’s almost miserable how often I think about these things. A different life, different circumstances. I would give anything for it.” 

Turning to him in the darkness of your room, the moon barely illuminating Jae’s delicate features, but it’s enough to make tears rise to the surface of your eyes. Never have you seen your best friend look so sad, an empty and distant look in his brown irises that looked so unfamiliar on Jaehyun, he was almost unrecognizable. 

“There’s nothing more painful than longing for something that’ll never be.” 

Four days later

Biting your lip, you hold up your phone and take another picture of the sunset, aggravated the camera could not pick up on the fuchsia of the sky against blue clouds. Deleting it with a pout, you put away your phone and decide to appreciate the sky with just your eyes until a camera sound goes off. Your head snaps to your right where Jaehyun stood, smiling down at his phone. 

“What’s with the frown? You look so cute, Y/N.” 

He’s still looking down at the picture he took of you, eyes stuck on how your cheeks puff in the cutest way whenever you pouted. But when you utter under your breath and attempt to grab Jae’s phone out of his hands roughly, his eyes snap to yours instantly. 

“Delete that, I look so bad.” 

“That’s not true at all.” He says a little defensively, can’t believing you were saying anything bad about yourself. His brows bunch together and lips set in a long frown. “You’re never like this, what’s wrong?” 

A furthering dip in the corners of your lips tug at Jaehyun’s attention, the boy taking hesitant steps closer towards you on the park bench. “I just don’t like the picture.” You murmur, instantly knowing it was not enough for your best friend who knew you all too well. He sits next to you, his blue jeans softly rubbing against yours as he does. 

“It’s because of him, isn’t it? Seokmin’s said something to you?” 

There’s a tense silence for a couple of seconds, your eyes set on the way the sun just touched the horizon of the river while his is focused on yours. Even without confirmation, Jae knows he’s right, the twitch of your nose all the answer he needs. 

“Do you think I’m not as pretty as I used to be?” 

Your best friend knows the exact tone of your voice, knows the exact way it cracks in the middle like a reoccurring nightmare. He knows it all too well because it’s never changed since kindergarten, ugly memories of you crying against his chest because of bullies and shitty boyfriends. 

The thought of Seokmin doing anything less than reminding you how beautiful you were every day made Jaehyun’s blood boil and throat close up. 

“I think sunsets can never stand a chance against you. I think pretty is too weak to describe you and nothing will ever be enough. I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you, and this is something I know.” Starting out quiet and uneasy, a strength builds in Jaehyun’s voice that forces your eyes to his and all air knocked out of your system. He’s already looking at you, a soft, dream-like grin forming watching your eyes go animatedly wide. 

“How you always want everyone around you to be happy, how smart you are - it shows and it makes you breathtaking. I’ve known you our whole lives, Y/N, there’s never been a day where I’m not in awe just looking at you.”

The sun slips past the horizon between the two of you, eyes locked and unblinking; the only thing you can hear is the thrashing of the Han River beneath you and the erratic beating of your heart. 

Your mouth opens to say something, anything to get rid of your dumbstruckness but Jaehyun shakes his head, mumbling about how he wanted to get everything off his chest. He swallows thickly, closing his eyes shut harshly for a millisecond before pulling at his bottom lip. 

You could point out all of Jaehyun’s expressions from a mile away, but nervousness was always a rare one; his habit of tugging and playing with his bottom lip not the typical sight on a guy as usually confident as Jaehyun. But there it was, paired with the rosiness to his cheeks and ears, you couldn’t help but feel a little breathless just looking at him. 

“I’m not sure when I realized I liked you, I have a feeling it’s just always been that way.” The calculation was obvious in the way he chose his words, you knew your best friends ‘rehearsal voice’ and knew he must have practiced this countless of times in his bathroom mirror. Jaehyun’s eyes roam your face over and over again as if it was something he could never get tired of. 

“How can I not? You’re the best person I know. I look at you and I see nothing but good, strength, and... and love. I love you. I have and I always will, with all of me. I know it’s not my place to be saying any of this but you deserve to hear this every day and I can bet Seokmin does not tell you that enough. I don’t think he deserves even a quarter of you. But if he makes you happy then I’m happy, only as long as you are. Always. And even if you’re never mine, I’ll always be yours.” 

A month later 

You watch him from behind a bookshelf, his brown eyes caught in a daze and staring blankly outside the university library windows. The golden rays of sun hitting Jaehyun’s face like that was its sole purpose, the honey-like hue it left his skin setting butterflies free to flutter against your ribs.

This was the first time you were seeing him since he’d confessed to you a month ago, Jaehyun driving you back to your house with crush, Kehlani, and Daniel Ceasar softly playing from the speakers into the afterglow sky. The two of you agree that some time apart would be better, too many thoughts in the way to manage a proper conversation.

Now, more than ever, you learn about how many things can change in a month. 

You force yourself to walk towards the table Jae currently sat in, sitting in the chair across from his and failing to ignore his stare on you judging by the intense red on your cheeks. 

“I broke up with Seokmin two weeks ago.” 

Your eyes catch the slight lift in the right corner of his lip, Jaehyun unable to stop a small smile from making it onto his face. “Better late than never. Are you okay?” 

Watching worry swim in his eyes, gentleness in his voice, and how he inches forward towards you; you realize this was everything you’ve been missing. 

“I didn’t realize how much it was hurting me to be with him until I ended things and didn’t cry because of that.” You shake your head with a small chuckle, looking away from Jaehyun with your cheeks still rosy. “I cried because all I ever needed was my best friend and it’s taken me a very long time to realize that.” 

“You’ve never needed me, Y/N. You don’t need anyone.” Jaehyun murmurs just above a whisper, reaching forward to hold your hand and making your heart race in your throat. “I’ll always be here for you, you know that.” 

“But all these years, I never knew your feelings -” 

“It’s fun to keep a secret from you.” He shrugs and smirks at you when you raise a brow at him. Grasping onto your hand with both of his, a bright smile on Jaehyun’s face. “I almost wish I didn’t tell you.” 

Rolling your eyes, you bite down on your bottom lip and tug his hands closer to you so your faces were mere inches away across the table. Watching the way Jae’s smile widens makes endorphins rush through your veins, never going to be able to get used to him smiling at you like that. “But then I wouldn’t be able to tell you about my revelations regarding my feelings towards you.”

“Oh?” His eyes flicker down to your lips every few seconds with excitement in copious amounts, a cocky smirk sprayed on his face. “Do tell, fruitcake.” 

“No, it’s okay.” You pull your hand away from his in a flash and get up with a innocent smirk. “I’ll just keep it from you for a couple years, heard it’s pretty fun keeping secrets from your best friend.” 

Jaehyun’s eyes widen at your careless shrug, his smirk dropping for a second before it’s on his face again with a happiness that you can feel in the air. You get up from the seat and nod towards the library exit, eyes never missing how content your best friend looked. 

“Take me out on a date and I might tell you.” 

He sits there for a few moments staring at you with this dumbfounded smile that makes you giggle and blush, his brown eyes looking at you with nothing but pure warmth. Jaehyun shakes his head to himself, getting up and grabbing his backpack with one hand, using the other to slip to the back of your head and softly tug you closer to him until your chests touched. “Can I kiss you first? I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.” 

“In the middle of the library? There’s a kid studying literally right behind you.” 

“I don’t even care if Seokmin was here.” His voice is octaves lower and it stops any possibility of a response from you, never hearing Jaehyun’s already deep voice like that. “That jackass never looked like he could kiss you properly, anyway.” 

You’re about to retort with a sassy ‘and you can?’ until it’s cut off with Jaehyun showing you that, yes, he definitely can. 

As if the library disappears and it’s only the two of you and the sun, a bright light and warmth surrounding you the moment your eyes shut and Jaehyun’s cushion lips land on yours. The firmness from his palm on the back of your neck clashes against the gentleness of his lips, his other hand unable not to reach out to your waist. 

Your fingers instinctively go to Jaehyun’s jaw, hands cradling his face in a way that slants his lips in just the perfect way against yours to make you never want to pull away. Jae sighs contently against your mouth, hand moving from the back of your head to under your jaw, nose nuzzling against yours. 

Theres a long silence and you attempt cover it up by forcing more of the acrid alcohol into your system, squeezing your eyes shut at the burn. 

“You can’t call me like this, Y/N, you know this.” Yukhei says with a weary tone that has you grip the glass of vodka tight. “How much have you had to drink?”

“You keep saying my name like that and tell me not to call you, thats like giving someone cake and telling them not to eat it.” 

You laugh to yourself as if it was the funniest thing in the world. And right now, in a deeply painful and ironic way, it sort of was. 

Because your name was your favorite sound to come out of his lips, gentleness coaxing every letter like no one ever has. But the drunkenness of your mind didn’t let you pick up the sinful pity that traced the syllables, twisting your name so beautifully cruel. When you feel yourself picking up on the heart-rending tone, you down the rest of the bitter drink.

“I’m at her parents house, Y/N.” Yukhei’s words come out in a slight whine and he sighs again. “What if she saw you calling me?” 

Her, she: the girl you could never be. A couple days ago you made Yukhei promise to never utter her name around or to you, and in this moment even the mere mentioning of a girl with him who was not you left a taste in your mouth more bitter than the cranberry vodka mix. 

You imagine him running a hand down his face, voice enveloped in tiredness, and it makes tears whelm up in your eyes. “I don’t care, Yukhei.” Your throat burns but nothing like the burn in the back of your eyes. “I miss you, your voice. I miss your warmth, I miss seeing you. I miss you so much.” 

“Y/N, please. Please.” You hear the desperation in his voice, despair seeping through the phone and ringing in your ears, clouding your thoughts and throat until it was all you could feel. “I need to go, Y/N.” 

Yukhei’s voice was tense and words forced, as if his throat was closing up and you can almost feel the tears he refused to let fall. You can feel yourself crumble inside and out at his words, tears falling subconsciously. The empty glass grasped painfully tight against your chest, a weak attempt to stop the gut-wrenching agony your heart pumped out. 

“Please don’t go, Yukhei. Please stay with me.” You croak out, voice breaking and taking all your resolve with it leaving you with nothing but desperation and pain throughout your body. 

“I can’t.” He says with a finality that forces a deep sob out of you, the sound bouncing against the walls of your room and bringing your roommate Sicheng to knock on your door in worry. But you couldn’t hear the frantic knocking and your best friend yelling your name or the pitiful cries that left your mouth; the heavy thumping of your heart and Yukhei’s words being the only thing echoing in your ears. “Don’t call me again, okay?” 

Before you can refuse, the line cuts off with three beeps but you keep your phone clutched against your ear with trembling hands, refusing to accept not hearing Yukhei’s soothing voice on the other end. A sort of deafness takes over you, mouth falling open and the inhumane noises being released never fully reaching your ears. By now, you don’t even feel the deep agony that builds in your chest, covered up by the most painful of numbness. 

Your hands shake so much you drop your phone and the glass, crystal falling against the wooden floors and breaking around you, coercing Sicheng to burst open your door without waiting for your permission. 

Behind blurry eyes you barely make out him saying something to you, seeing your crouched and broken figure on the floor of your room surrounded by shattered glass. 

Behind blurry eyes you barely make out him pushing away the glass with his foot and grabbing a hold of you on the floor, clutching you against his chest. 

Behind blurry eyes you barely make out the tears that flow from your usually collected best friend, his secure arms rocking you back and forth. 

“You're going to be okay, Y/N. You will be okay.” Sicheng chants into the mewl filled room, having it all but fall on deaf ears. All you could hear was Yukhei’s words echoing in your head.

Nothing hurt more than this, nothing ever brought you so much pain and love than Wong Yukhei. 

You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Yukhei, but you never really cared. You knew the risks and didn’t care, the reward of having Yukhei all to yourself too overpowering to let any logical thought come into play.

“It has to be a secret, baby,” he told you, arms wrapped around you and lips finding yours after every spoken word. “My parents can’t find out.”

But you never thought too much of it, finding a rush in knowing something so precious that no one else knew. Eventually, you told your roommate and best friend Sicheng, unable to keep all that love for someone like Wong Yukhei to yourself. More apprehensive than normal, Sicheng’s voice only conveyed worry about Yukhei and who his family was.

Of course, you knew about it all. The Wong family was an important figure in the upper class, Yukhei’s dad being a prominent member in the National People’s Congress and his mom a heiress of a major trading company. But even with all the wealth and prominence, Yukhei never acted like it, accepting and loving you and your whole middle-class self.

The thought of his parents never accepting you left a hole in your chest but Yukhei always managed to fill it back up, adoration always covering his touch and words behind closed doors.

However at the end of the day, you knew deep down that the most valuable thing to you could never progress into anything more.

You could still remember everything about that day. The most dreadful, damning, cruelest day of your life.

Yukhei didn’t respond to any of your texts that morning and afternoon, leaving an uneasy feeling to pool in your stomach. When a knock on your apartments front door comes around 6pm, you pull it open to immediately be surrounded by lemon and mint, warmth and coldness; Yukhei’s wet lips on yours, wet with overflowing tears.

You try to pry his strong arms off of your waist and neck, knowing the camera in the hallway would be filming every second of your embrace but Yukhei refused to pull away. Only shaking his head and keeping his lips on yours with a deep sense of need and urgency you could practically taste on his mouth.

“Yukhei,” your voice hoarse from the forcefulness of his mouth on yours. The warmth from his lips often making you feel weightless and in the clouds, but now felt desperate and uneasy. “The camera.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care.” He says, tone low and so sad, you cover his wet cheeks with your hands and force him to stop the relentless kisses and to just look at you. When you finally take in the broken state of your boyfriend, anxiety makes your hands and arms shake and eyes whelm up without any explanation. “Fuck, Y/N, don’t make me stop. I don’t want to stop.”

You shake your head and you pull him inside, closing the door behind him only to have him shove you against it, obviously not caring if Sicheng or anyone else was in the apartment. Yukhei’s face is against the crook of your neck, going between peppering kisses all over the soft skin to sobbing against it. You could only make out the countless curses he utters under his breath, mind overflowing in unease to feel the slightest amount of pleasure in his lips against your skin.

“Yukhei, talk to me.” You say into the empty apartment, attempting to pull his face away from your neck. “What’s wrong, Yukhei?”

You’ve never seen him like that before, always the one to light up every room he was in. You only ever saw him tear up in anger from his parents ordering him around and forcing him to be someone he wasn’t, but never like this. Never so broken and distraught.

“Please, Y/N, don’t let me go. I love you, only ever you.” Yukhei’s tone was filled with desperation as he kept shaking his head. His hands squeezed and gripped you tightly against his chest, as if he was trying to keep you against him forever. “I don’t want to say it out loud. I can’t accept it.”

If there was one thing you knew about Wong Yukhei, it was his dedication to the family name. Even if his parents failed to treat his son with all the care and devotion he deserved, Yukhei never looked down at the Wong name and all the history and legacy that came with it. You always looked up to that, seeing his commitment and responsibility as one of Yukhei’s most attractive features.

The last thing you thought it would lead to was putting an end to everything you held most dear to you.

“My parents, they arranged something without my consent. Without any of my knowledge, Y/N. I don’t know what to do.” He says with a shaky voice, your own caught in your throat and a painful silence filled with Yukhei’s soft weeping enveloping the two of you. “Chen Biyu.” He utters the name of a well-known heiress in your university with all the disgust in the world, red and glassy eyes finally reaching yours. “I’m arranged to marry Chen Biyu in two months.” 

And like fire touching gasoline, water filling an empty space, darkness following the turning off of a light switch, numbness set throughout your body in milliseconds. Static, white noise filling your ears and an odd prickling sensation spreading throughout your skin as if blood was replaced by pure unadulterated pain. 

You hear and feel nothing as Yukhei’s face drops instantly at the sight of yours, watching all the color fade from your eyes and skin, mouth opening to release wails that never reached your ears. His hands grip your arms and waist tightly once you feel your legs give out, vision gone black and ears deaf to the gut-wrenching sobs leaving you. 

The both of you collapse in the middle of your living room, the cold floor and Yukhei’s warmth contradicting each other and making you feel the intense need to throw up. Instantly, you get up and run to the guest bathroom, retching into the toilet and sobbing all at once. Yukhei follows you with teary eyes and shaky hands, holding up your hair and rubbing your back. 

However, his usual comforting presence now filling you with nothing but desperation. 

Weeks go by since the drunken phone call and the last time you heard his voice. 

In those weeks you realize how cruel it was to be heartbroken by Wong Yukhei. You’ve heard stories of other girls and how some refused to leave their house for months and how others left the country completely, and what you used to think was an exaggeration was nothing but the cruel and honest truth. 

Because when Wong Yukhei loved and left, it was like being filled with all the freshest oxygen in the world then being drowned. 

Sadness did not come and go like waves in the ocean, but surrounded you like it was something in the air. 

You often sat in your room in the middle of the night wondering if he missed you just as much as you did. If he missed the Studio Ghibli movie nights and Thai takeout, naps in your fluffy blankets instead of his silk covered bed, if he missed any ounce of you. 

Because thats what left the deepest ache in your chest, missing the smallest things about Yukhei like the crinkle of his nose at something he found cute or the way he had to be touching you at all times, unable to go a minute without feeling your skin. 

Your throat tightens at the thought and you squeeze your eyes shut tightly, forcing yourself to stop thinking about him and not cry. You refused to let today be filled with tears and sorrow like it has everyday the past month. 

Instead you pour yourself a cup of coffee and blast one of your playlists, taking advantage of the empty apartment. You set up your old easel and paints in the living room, deciding today was the day you would immerse yourself in the hobby you stopped years ago. 

It must have been half an hour into painting, the canvas filled with dark red and blue not really knowing where you were going with it, when your phone rings. You pause the song and look at the screen, seeing a random set of numbers you’ve never seen before. With furrowed brows, you pick up with a hesitant ‘hello’. 

The other end of the call is quiet, with a low static hum in the background. Your brows pull together even tighter and when you’re about to ask if there was anyone there, you hear a door shut on the other end. 

For some reason the sound makes your heart rate fasten, finding something familiar in the sound of the doors creaking and close shut. You feel your knees go weak and you slump against the sofa, using both hands to clutch the phone closer to your ear. 

“Yukhei?” 

Your voice is wobbly and quiet, saying his name for the first time in a month and hearing it outside of the cage of your head, filled with nothing but memories of him. The desperation and need to evident in the two syllables, your head shakes for a whole minute. 

The other end of the call is still silent and half a minute passes until the line ends with three beeps. Your mouth feels dry when you take your phone away from your ear and stare at the list of answered and unanswered calls, vision blurring until a single drop falls on the screen. 

Your heart feels heavy, as if someone filled it to the brim with concrete, still staring at the now dim screen with tears falling from your eyes but cries silent. You cover your mouth with a hand, closing your eyes when you feel the first sob choke out of your throat and out into the silent apartment. 

You couldn’t believe you were crying, tears flowing continuously as if the drunken call happened just yesterday. You keep crying on the sofa, both hands eventually making its way to your face. Your thoughts consumed with Yukhei and everything related to him, suffocating you in the most beautifully cruel way.

Three days later, you’re laying on the couch, on the brink of falling asleep when your phone rings and Sicheng’s face pops up on the screen. Once you answer and before you can utter a hello, his frantic voice interrupts you. 

“Y/N, turn on the TV and go on the news channel, right now.” 

You sit up quickly, balancing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you turn the screen on. You flip through the channels and gulp loudly. “What’s going on?” 

“Quickly, Y/N!” He says in a rushed voice. “I’m on the way home but it’ll take me at least an hour, I was at Yuta’s house.” 

However you don’t hear the end of his sentence as you finally reach the national news channel and Yukhei’s face is plastered on it. 

“...Biyu and Wong Yukhei have called an abrupt end to their fast-paced romance. The wedding initially scheduled to happen next month is no longer happening...”

You swallow the lump in the back of your throat and your grip on your phone tightens. The more you stare at the screen, the bigger your headache gets as you try to process everything happening within your fingertips. When you remember the silent phone call three days ago, your free hand clenches into a tight fist. 

“Sicheng, he called me. That phone call three days ago, it was Yukhei. It has to be--” 

A soft knocking on the door cuts off your sentence and you get up too quickly, heart pounding in your chest and eyes locked on the front door. Your feet move on their own accord, opening the door with your heart fluttering at the chance of seeing him again. 

But when you pull the door open, it isn’t Yukhei standing there, but the other face on the TV screen next to his. 

“Biyu?” 

In your ear, you can practically hear Sicheng screech on the phone and you wince, forgetting he was still on the phone. You quickly hang up, reminding yourself to text him later and face the girl at the front door, twisting the rings on your fingers.

You weren’t surprised to see that Chen Biyu was as pretty in person as she was in all the pictures. Even if she attended the same university as you, you never bumped into her seeing as she was considered a VIP and never roamed the university halls for fun. 

And as much as you wanted to hate her for taking Yukhei away from you in the first place, the only thing you felt seeing her on your doorstep was jealousy for ever getting to publicly call him hers in the first place. 

“Y/N, right?” Her voice is hesitant and soft, questioning eyes all too gentle. You nod and a small smile fits onto her pretty face. “Thank God, I thought I got the wrong address for a second.” 

You rub at the back of your neck, confused but stepping aside to let her in anyway. “Do you want to come in?” She gives you a thankful smile and walks in, looking around the small but cozy apartment. “I don’t want to sound rude, but why are you here?”

Biyu’s eyes are focused on the TV screen where the reporters went back and forth on the latest topic: her and Yukhei ending their engagement. 

You quickly turn off the TV and Biyu chuckles lightly under her breath. “You didn’t have to do that, Y/N. That’s why I’m here actually.” 

“I don’t follow.” You nibble on your bottom lip as you sit on the couch and she follows suit. She offers you another gentle smile and you realize the last thing on her agenda was anything related to anger or violence. 

“Yukhei is one of the sweetest people I’d ever met.” She begins, eyes watching you wearily. “That’s why I ended things with him. For the past month, I would always catch him zoning out or staring at your number on his phone for hours. I never wanted to get married in the first place and I initially thought since he was a good guy I could go through with it but I realized I never truly saw him happy in that month. And I can’t be in a relationship with someone who will never love me.” 

Your mouth felt dry and every time you wanted to swallow, it felt as if you were swallowing cotton. Biyu chuckles, looking down at her hands with a sad smile. “I called you three days ago, I’m not sure why exactly. I dialed the number Yukhei was always staring at and when you answered and called out to him, I guess thats when I finally decided to call it quits. I heard something in your voice and it made me cry for hours, I felt like I betrayed you and I don’t even know you.” 

You continue to stare at her, thoughts racing through your mind at 200 miles per hour, trying to process everything she was saying. Your fingers continue to play with the cold rings, a little speechless. When she looks up at you and holds one of your hands on your lap. “He loves no one but you, Y/N. When you said his name on the phone, I knew from that moment that you still love him. I want to see him happy for once and I know the only way for that to happen is with you.” 

In your chest, your heart beats so frantically you thought it could explode on the spot. When Biyu squeezes your hand, you squeeze back and lips finally fall into a teary grin. “I don’t-I don’t know what to say, Biyu.” 

She shakes her head and stands up, pulling you up with her. “You don’t have to say anything to me, Y/N. Come on, I’ll take you to him.” 

“Take me to him?” Your voice quivers at the thought and at how she pulls you towards the door with a wide smile and a quick nod. “Right now?” 

“I texted him to meet me at the park by the river to talk about why I ended things. He still doesn’t know.” Biyu talks quickly as the two of you race down the halls, not even contemplating the fact that you were in one of Yukhei’s large hoodies that nearly hid the cotton shorts underneath. “But instead of seeing me, he’ll see you.” 

The entire drive to the park, music from the radio plays between the two of you but the lack of communication far from awkward. So many thoughts were popping up in your head, you were thankful for Biyu not initiating any conversation. Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel to whatever song was playing and you couldn’t help but finally feel as though you were going to be okay. 

When the park comes into view, you sit up a little straighter and feel so many emotions rush through you, your hands squeezing into fists in an attempt to subdue them. 

“Are you ready?” Biyu asks with a quirk in her voice. She pulls into the curb and faces you with a big smile. “Don’t look so nervous, Y/N, I can assure you that he misses you as much if not more than you do.” 

“Thank you, Biyu, for everything.” You hold both her hands and give her an equally big smile. “I hope we can be friends even after all this.” 

She nods and agrees before forcing you out and to look for the boy on the bench overlooking the river. You feel giddy as you feel the sun on your skin for the first time since the day Yukhei showed up on your doorstep. You don’t feel the heaviness that made its home in your chest for the month, your lungs taking in all the fresh air as if it was the first in years. 

Your eyes frantically scan the vast but mostly empty park, going deeper into it once you find the sidewalk leading towards the riverside. When your eyes land on a figure sitting on a bench with his head down and dark brown hair covering his face, your palms start to sweat the closer you get to him, knowing exactly who it was. 

“Yukhei?” 

Your voice is quiet but immediately makes the boys head snap up and once he sees you, Yukhei stands to his full height with wide and tired eyes. He looks at you as if he doesn’t truly believe you’re in front of him, taking hesitant steps towards you. “Y/N?”

A laugh comes out of you and you feel surprised at the unfamiliar sound, not having heard it in so long. You nod at him with a small smile growing on your face. “Its too long to explain right now.” 

“God,” Yukhei says with relief filling his voice as his steps quicken towards you. You catch his eyes twinkle and tears fill the honey brown irises before his arms are wrapped around you so tight and so right you knew this is exactly where you had to be. His voice echoed in your mind, the relief and desperation filling up your brain and making your skin heat up. “God. I’m never letting you go, Y/N.” 

  The little girl opens her mouth to answer but only to get cut off by a deep, masculine sigh. “Xiaoli, angel, I told you to never let go of papa.” 

  A tall, dark haired man comes through the isle and catches you off guard big time. He was out of this world beautiful. Big, brown eyes were completely focused on the little girl in front of you. “Are you okay, baobei? Come here, let me see you.” 

  “Yes, papa, I’m okay.” The little girl walks towards him and you watch as he crouches down with strong, protective arms reaching out towards her, his concerned eyes scan across Xiaoli’s face and frame. You stand up with a gulp. 

  “She wanted me to get the, uh-” you turn and grab a box of Froot Loops, “- cereal she couldn’t reach.” 

  This was the first time the guy looks at you, and it really made your throat go dry. He stands up at his full height, towering over you and the little girl clutching his hand. Looking at him head on, he really was a sight you would never forget. You could already catching yourself get up in the warmth from his doe eyes. His tan skin almost glowed and damn, you thought to yourself, this really is the most gorgeous guy in the world. You watch his eyes widen slightly and the left side of his lip to flutter up. 

  “Yeah, Froot Loops’ her favorite.” He holds one of her hands and stands back up. He holds out his free hand towards you with a breathtaking smile. “I’m Yu-” 

  “My papa! This is my papa. Papa, this is Y/N!” Xiaoli cheers and dances a bit. He can’t help but blush lightly at Xiaoli and smile sheepishly at you. 

  “Sorry, she’s a pretty hyperactive kid, kinda took that from me, I’m afraid.” He licks his lip, and you mentally die at the sight. “My names Yukhei.”

  You can’t help but laugh a bit and shake his hand. “Don’t apologize, she’s the cutest girl I’ve ever met.” 

  When your hands meet, a shy smile falls on your face when Yukhei looks back at you with a warm smile that makes his eyes squint at the ends. Theres an unexplainable type of comfort that comes from his holding his hand, and it makes waves of electricity rush through your veins. Letting go was exactly the last thing you wanted to do. 

  “I like her papa. Her shirt is pink!” Xiaoli tugs on Yukhei’s free arm and smiles up at you. 

  Yukhei beams down at her with a loving look in his eyes that makes your heart melt at the sight. “And pinks’ her favorite color. Your names Y/N, right?” 

  “Yeah.” Your cheeks redden on their own at the scene in front of you. “Its nice to meet the both of you.” 

  Its just then that you notice the both of your hands were still enveloped and you blush even harder. Yukhei catches on and laughs a bit after pulling away with pink cheeks. “The pleasures ours.” 

  The two of you smile at each other for a second (or five) then look away when Xiaoli tugs on Yukhei’s arm and mutters ‘papa’. He looks down at her with a raised eyebrow then his lips form an ‘o’. 

  “We are kind of on a tight schedule, it’s almost her nap time.” 

You shake your head and sigh to yourself, thinking Yukhei was just going to be another beautiful memory. “That’s completely okay, it was nice meeting you-” 

  “I mean,” Yukhei scratches the back of his neck and motions for the shopping basket he left on the floor. “If you aren’t doing anything, do you mind helping us get the rest of our groceries?” 

  Xiaoli squeals in excitement and jumps around. You watch Yukhei’s grin slowly get wider when you nod. “Yeah, I’d love to! I’m not in a rush or anything.”

  “Great.” Yukhei’s teeth are straight and white, shining at you through a large grin. It feels as though golden hour sunlight was hitting you directly. “That’s great. We just need to get biscuits and pudding.”

  The three of you set off for the aisle, you letting him put his basket in your shopping cart, and him then requesting to push the cart. He puts Xiaoli in the grocery cart’s kiddie seat, and you smile seeing her dance in her seat. 

  “Do you go to Seoul University?” Yukhei grins at you as he asks, taking any and every chance he can to look at you.

  “Yeah, I’m a senior. What about you?” You blush when he’s still looking at you, never having anyones pure and unbothered attention as much as Yukhei was giving you.

  “Same. I’m an athletic training major, you?” Yukhei maneuvers the cart in the biscuits aisle and looks for a specific brand. But when you talk, he immediately turns to face you.

“I’m a linguistics major. What brand are you looking for?”

  You watch his eyes widen at your words before narrowing them with a smirk. “Are you messing with me? Linguistics major? Study of languages, right? That’s so cool!”

  He looks at you with a dumbfounded smile before shaking his head at himself, attempting to get rid of the rosiness on his cheeks. “Um, just any soft baked strawberry bar.” He looks back at you with that same wide smirk. “Do you know any Canto?”

“Yeah, I’m fluent.”

  Your cheeks get progressively more red the longer Yukhei grins at you with a slightly dazed look in his eyes. “Th-That’s insane. That’s the first language I learned properly, my most comfortable. Not a lot of people are fluent in it.” After a few seconds he scratches the back of his neck with a pinkish hue to his cheeks. “That’s really cool. What else do you know?”

  He quickly averts his eyes towards the shelves of cereal bars, cursing at himself for so obviously nervous just talking to you. 

  Yukhei was never like this around girls, and to be honest, he definitely knew his way around them. But hearing himself stutter and feeling the heat crawl up his neck to his cheeks was odd, new. And Yukhei knew entirely too well what that meant. 

  The both of you scan through the shelves and he picks out two different branded soft baked bars. Yukhei looks behind you and sighs in relief when pudding was on the same aisle.

  “Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, Thai, and English. I’m doing an Asian concentration.”

  “Holy shit.” Yukhei utters low enough so Xiaoli doesn’t hear, stopping in his tracks to look at you with his jaw very obviously slacked. “Y/N, that’s insane. You’re officially the most impressive person I’ve met in my life.”

  You know your cheeks were resembling cherries by now and you lightly nudge him. “Oh, stop it, Yukhei. You’re pretty impressive yourself, you know.” He raises his eyebrows at you after looking around the puddings.

“How so?”

  “Well, you know, raising Xiaoli, it must be hard on you and your girlfriend to be doing that in University-“

  “Oh.” Yukhei stops his movements and laughs a bit nervously. He looks at you with a little confusion in his eyes, wondering how you never heard any of the rumors about him. “I’m single, Y/N. It’s just Xiaoli and I.”

  Practically everyone knew about Yukhei and Xiaoli, as he was never shy about being a single parent at such a young age. After his high school girl friend at the time found out she was pregnant, she immediately freaked out and ended the relationship, leaving Yukhei to take care of a little girl on his own. He never regretted it once though, seeing Xiaoli as more of a gift than anything else. 

  “Oh, I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t have or anything, Yukhei.” You play with your fingers, a nervous habit, and sigh. But to your surprise, you feel Yukhei lightly put his left hand on your right shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  He gives you a sunshine grin, something so bright and wonderful it made you feel warm on the inside. You smile back at him and giggle a little, unable to formulate a normal sentence while having this beautiful man look at you with his twinkling eyes. He bites his bottom lip in a big grin before giving your shoulder one last squeeze and letting go.

  And you know that feeling of something warm and hot touching you for a while then letting go and that spot feels instantly freezing cold for a second before going back to normal? Thats what it felt like when his hand left your shoulder. You shiver.

  “Now, I just need to get a cake mix.” Xiaoli claps excitedly with a large grin, hearing the words cake.

“Vanilla cake! Vanilla cake!”

  Yukhei squeezes her cheeks lightly and coos at her. “Only the best vanilla cake for my princess.”

  You swoon at the sight. This man was definitely out of this world. “Is it someones birthday coming up?”

Xiaoli nods enthusiastically and throws her hands up. “I’m gonna be 5!”

  “Her birthday in four days.” Yukhei gives her a warm smile then turns back to you with a quieter voice. “And as excited as she is, today’s the first year I’m baking the cake, so I’m not even sure we’re going to have one.”

  You giggle as the three of you set off for the baking aisle. “I can help with that, if you want. I love baking.”

  “Really?” He has a dazzling smile on his face that leaves you breathless and you nod a little too dazed. “You’re honestly a lifesaver, Y/N, I was planning on baking the cake in three days so its still nice and fresh for her birthday.”

“I don’t mind at all.” You give Xiaoli a smile. “Anything for this little angel.”

  Xiaoli’s grin just gets wider and she pulls you in for a hug. She turns her face so she’s facing Yukhei, left cheek squished against your arm. “I like her, papa.”

  Yukhei feels his heart do something weird the more he looks at the sight in front of him. He knew his daughter always gave everyone she meets the benefit of the doubt, liking them all instantly. So he knew exactly when his daughter took a special liking to someone. Watching her tiny legs try to reach out beyond the kiddie seat and wrap around your hips, it was the first time Yukhei felt his heart flip. “I can see that, baobei.”

  This was all very foreign for a usually in control guy like Yukhei. He rarely put himself in a situation where he didn’t know what was going to happen, and right now, that’s exactly how he felt.

  “I think your papa’s a little jealous, honeybun.” He watched you say to the little girl with a smirk directed at him. Yukhei immediately felt his own smirk grow.

  “How did you know, Y/N?! Oh, no! My secrets out!” He playfully throws his hands up and groans exaggeratedly.

  Xiaoli, with all her innocence, falls for it and wiggles out of your touch and whines for the touch of her dad. 

Yukhei immediately feels warmth all over.

  It was crazy what Xiaoli’s birth did to him. Every year of his life since has been the best years and he’s never felt a love so deep, cemented, powerful.

He immediately takes her in for a hug and kisses the top of her head.

  You quickly turn away with your heart beating at the speed of light. You felt like you were watching something private; a surreal, different moment that you’ve never seen anything like before. With your strict, workaholic parents, you’re childhood was always spent in a big house all by yourself. They substituted feelings with gifts and many missed birthdays and graduations. 

  Seeing such a devoted parent and obvious moment of love struck something deep inside you. 

  You clear your throat and turn to all the different brands and flavors of cake mixes in front of you. Scanning the shelves, you pick out the vanilla Betty Crocker cake mix, a good amount of pink icing, as well as white and pink sprinkles.

  You turn back to Yukhei and Xiaoli with your hands full. “I picked out the best brands I know. And put the icing in the fridge when you get back home.”

  Yukhei grins at you and laughs a little seeing your hands all full. “You’re so cute, Y/N. Thank you, I appreciate this all a lot, really.”

  You giggle a little breathlessly watching him motion you over to your shopping cart. You blush and walk over, Yukhei immediately taking everything one by one out of you arms and into his basket.

“Its no problem, Yukhei. Anything I can do to help.” He grins at you and when he looks into your eyes, he feels his heart squeeze. He’s never fallen so hard, so fast for anyone before, it made him feel a little helpless.

  “I think we’re done now.” He quickly turns to Xiaoli and bops her nose lightly. “How’re you feeling, angel?”

  “A little sleepy but okay.” She gives him a cute toothy grin and wiggled her legs. “How are you, Y/N?”

  “I’m great, sweetheart. Thank you for asking!” She grins and reaches out towards the frays of your sweater again. You laugh and move closer to her so she could be able to play with them.

  “If you don’t mind,” you don’t even realize how close Yukhei and you are, your feet just inches away. “Can I have your number? To plan out when to bake the cake and everything.”

  You feel your heart beating at 200bpm. His eyes twinkled under the grocery store lights and your mind was permanently in dream state.

  “Yeah, Yukhei, of course.” A flush fills your cheeks. “Here, give me your phone.”

  He grins at you for a second before nodding and getting out his phone. You internally squeal when you see his background to be a baby picture of Xiaoli. The two of you exchange phones and put in each others numbers, with shy grins exchanged back and forth.

  “Do you want to walk to check out together?” You put your own phone in your pocket and Yukhei does the same. He grins at you and you nod with a shy smile.

“Y/N, whats your favorite color?”

You turn to Xiaoli with a smile. “I like the color blue, angel.”

“Papa likes blue, too!”

  Yukhei grins down at her while he pushes the cart. You walk beside them with a grin of your own. “That’s right, baobei, you remembered!”

“Of course, papa!” She gives him a toothy grin and you giggle at the sight. 

“She has the exact same smile as you.”

  Yukhei turns to you with a warm smile and pink cheeks. “You think? It looks much better on her, I think.”

  You shake your head and laugh, nudging him with your shoulder. “She really is adorable.”

  “I know.” He looks at her with so much warmth in his eyes, you thought you were going to melt on the spot. “She’s my guardian angel.”

  You feel your heart almost stop in that second, not even beginning to understand how much Yukhei really did love Xiaoli. It was so different than anything you’ve ever experience, in a parental figure and male figures in general. The sweetness in Yukhei’s voice every time he talked to her, the gentleness in his eyes; you were so caught up in awe. 

  “Registers 2 and 3 are free.” He turns to you with a side grin, taking small steps towards you. “It was really nice meeting you, Y/N.”

  You bite your lip and nod, giggling to yourself. “You too, Yukhei. I’ll text you today so we can plan out Xiaoli’s cake-“

  Yukhei takes you in for a hug and you’re frozen for a second until his warmth spreads everywhere through your body. You’re a little shellshocked at the moment, your heart beating so rapidly, you were certain he could feel it. You move your arms up around his neck after a few seconds. This felt good, way too comfortable for a first-time-encounter. His arms wrapped around your torso and yours around his neck felt like it was made to be there.

Everywhere he touched left goosebumps on your skin, and it was addicting. 

“I want a hug!”

  Yukhei pulls away quickly, looking at you with a shy grin. “Sorry, I didn’t really know what I was think-“

  “Don’t apologize, Yukhei.” Your arms are still resting on his shoulders and you smile up at him, ears very red. You pull away slightly and move closer to Xiaoli and take her in for a hug with Yukhei. “Big hug!”

  Yukhei’s chest rumbles in a deep laugh that makes your cheeks redden, and especially more when you realize the three of you were in a tight, tight embrace.

“The two of you are the cutest people I know.”

  You feel so complete at the moment, you couldn’t believe you just met this guy. It was like something internal, and it definitely made your insides tingle.

⇝⇝⇝

  You had just finished all your classes, opening the front door to your apartment when you feel your phone buzz from a call. When you take out your phone and see Yukhei’s name flash across the screen, you couldn’t help the butterflies that flew around your stomach. The two of you just met yesterday and the thought of him already made butterflies spring in your chest. 

  “Hey Y/N!” Yukhei sounded rushed on the other end of the call, like he was doing something else while talking to you. You grin to yourself as you listen to him. “What’re you up to in the next hour?”

  You shrug off your backpack and walk into the kitchen. “Yukhei, hey. I just got back to my apartment, finished all my classes. Why, whats up?”

 The boy on the other end sighs and clears his throat. “Well, I was hoping you could do me a huge favor. If you can’t, though, its totally fine. I just have an exam in, like, 20 minutes and my neighbor, Yuta, can’t look over Xiaoli last minute and none of my friends are free-“

 “Of course I’ll look after her.” You shake your head, giggling at his rambling. “Its no big deal.”

 “I owe you so much, Y/N.” You hear a set of keys jingle on Yukhei’s end with a slight groan. “I have to leave now, please tell me you live close to campus?”

  You can’t contain your laughter at the sound of his rushing, telling him your apartment address.

  “Come on, angel, you’re gonna stay with Y/N for a bit.” You hear Xiaoli squeal in the background and you grin to yourself. “We’ll catch ya’ in a sec, Y/N. I’ll text you when I’m down.”

“I’ll be waiting! See you in a bit.”

  You clutch your phone to your chest with a dreamy sigh and a childlike squeal. Last night, the two of you texted like high school crushes all night, talking about random things and details about each other. When you learned that he had to wake up at 8am every morning to drop Xiaoli at her daycare, you immediately forced him to sleep (much to his discontent) when the clock hit 2am.

  You cleaned up the place and got as many of your toys into a basket in the living room for Xiaoli, which wasn’t a lot but would have to do. 

  Your phone goes off and you throw on an oversized jumper before grabbing your keys.

Yukhei: We’re out :) @4:22pm

Y/N: Coming!! @4:23pm

  You race down the hall and into the elevator, twiddling your fingers together all the way down. You blush once you see Yukhei and Xiaoli leaning against a car. Yukhei sees you and waves at you with the widest grin, making you feel like you were at the center of the universe. You walk over with rosy cheeks and face set in a permanent smile.

  “Y/N!” Xiaoli jumps when she sees you and immediately runs over, meeting you half way. You’re crouched down to her height when you take her in your arms and let her wrap around you, all the while grinning from ear to ear. 

“Hi sweet angel, I missed you!”

  “I missed you too, Y/N!” She takes your face in her small hands and kisses the center of your forehead. You coo at her, kissing her cheeks and muttering thank you a hundred times.

Yukhei dies at the sight. As if his day old crush couldn’t get any stronger. 

  He looks between the two of you with powerful emotions being sought out from inside him, watching his daughter and you getting along so well.

“I owe you, again, Y/N. I’ll only be an hour and a half, two hours max-“

  “Take your time, Yukhei, really. I’ve got this.” You wink playfully at him. “The only reason I’m talking to you is to see Xiaoli anyway.”

  Yukhei feels his heart do the thing again -- another flip. He wants to reach out hold you tightly against him, feeling so overwhelmingly grateful. As much as he wants to, Yukhei still felt the embarrassment of the giant hug he gave you yesterday and holds back the yearning. Get a grip, Yukhei, you’re so whipped.

  “You know, I actually really don’t mind that.” Yukhei smirks softly at you and the two of you are grinning at each other hopelessly until you remember the time.

  “You can come over and chill after you finish, if you want to.” You blush, was that too straightforward? “I have cookies upstairs.”

  You watch both Yukhei’s and Xiaoli’s identical eyes go identically wide and you feel a little speechless at the sight.

  “That’s the key to my heart, Y/N.” Yukhei grins at you and holds a hand against his chest with an exaggerated swoon. “I’ll definitely come over for a cookie or five.”

  Before he leaves, Yukhei takes a few steps closer to you and you feel your throat close up when he leans down towards you. He’s so close and he’s just getting closer, the air between the two of you almost electric.

  You snap out of it when all he does is kiss the top of Xiaoli’s head, who is still clung onto you. But before you could release the breath you were holding, Yukhei pulls away but only slightly so the two of you were face to face.

  Seeing him this close with the sunlight hitting him in all the right angles, God was definitely playing tricks on you. The way his eyes scanned across your face and stuck on your lips for a few seconds too long made your heart do batshit crazy and unexplainable things in your chest.

  “Your exam, Yukhei.” You wanted to smack yourself, sounding so breathless and out of it.

  He looks at you, with sparkles in his eyes and doesn’t move for a millisecond before he nods to himself with a small grin. “Right. My exam.”

  Yukhei shakes his head, embarrassed at how lost he got looking at you like that. He felt like he could look at you forever and never get bored. He rests a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it. “I’ll text you.”

  Then he’s off, sprinting to his car and waving at you and Xiaoli before driving to campus.

  You look down at Xiaoli with a sneaky grin. “Now, who wants some homemade cookies?”

She grins happily and claps her hands. “I do! I do!”

  “Lets go before the cookie monster gets them all!” You playfully speed walk towards the elevators, making the little girl in your arms giggle the whole way up.

  The two of you spend the next hour and forty-five minutes over episodes of Dora the Explorer, cookies, toys, and many bursts of laughter. Xiaoli and you talked a lot more than you thought you would, it was crazy how similar the little girl and her dad was. She was probably the funniest kid you’ve met, managing to make you laugh at even the smallest things. 

  Before you bumped into Yukhei and Xiaoli, having a kid was something you never saw for yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t like them, you just never thought of yourself finding a partner and being able to really settle down to have kids. Maybe it was your cynicism or lonely childhood, you just never thought you would be a good enough parent to raise a child. But being around Xiaoli and a real father figure who loved his daughter so strongly woke up the most basic human desire in you.

For the first time in a while, you wanted a real, loving family for yourself.

  Your phone buzzes and you catch yourself smiling dumbly when Yukhei’s name pops up.

  “Hey Y/N, I just finished my exam!” You could hear the happiness in his voice and it made you feel all giddy and warm inside. You move ever so slightly on the couch to get a bit more comfortable while Xiaoli snoozed on your chest.

  “Hey Yukhei! That’s great, how do you feel about it?” Your whispered voice makes Yukhei laugh for a second on the other end.

  “It was hard as shit to be honest.” Yukhei whispers back, and you can hear him fumbling with his keys on the other end. “Why’re we whispering?”

“Xiaoli’s asleep, loser.” You chuckle when you hear him gasp on the other end.

“You’re so mean to someone who just went through a lot of ass-whooping.”

  “You curse a lot more on the phone.” Xiaoli gets more comfortable against you and you grin.

  “I don’t like cursing around Xiaoli, but I’m a young adult, I like to drop a shit or fuck here and there.”

  Hearing a guy curse never seemed like something insanely hot or anything to you, but suddenly hearing Yukhei utter such crude words made you blush heavily.

  “I can’t believe you’re graduating senior.” You whisper with barely held in laughter. “Hurry back soon, theres one last cookie left and I’m a little hungry.”

  “So mean.” You can feel his smirk through the phone. “I’ll be home soon, honey!”

  The phone call ends and just like that, you feel like you’re living in a different world, a world where you called Yukhei yours. With Xiaoli sleeping so peacefully on you and Yukhei’s playful flirting, you felt like this was all so unusually familiar to you, so strangely comfortable. You felt like this was something you could do for the rest of your life, being around Yukhei and Xiaoli. 

  You text him your floor and door number, along with where the second key was (under the cactus pot), stating that Xiaoli looked so cute and peaceful asleep, you didn’t want to wake her up. Yukhei didn’t mind at all obviously, happy his little angel got to sleep more.

  You’re so concentrated on Dora and Boots on the TV screen that you missed Yukhei’s text that he was outside and almost didn’t hear the front door open and close. That was until you see Yukhei in the corner of your eye, his casual black hoodie and sweats paired with a new backwards cap. His eyes scan your living room with a warm smile.

  “Nice place, Y/N, lots of light.” He looks at each and every piece in your living room, the sparse but organized furniture contrasting to the spread of toys on your couch. Eyes roaming around every nook and cranny, but when your hushed voice reaches his ears, his attention is all on you.

  “Thank you, decorated it all myself.” You go to give him a goofy smile but the way he looks at you and Xiaoli makes you freeze up, he looks at the both of you so warm and whole, you feel complete inside and out.

  “Planning to steal my daughter, Y/N?” The way he says it with his deep voice sent shivers down your spine. He looks at you with a playful and wholly content smile, you felt like you don’t even need the sun anymore.

  “That’s been my plan since I met you, Yukhei.” You drop your head against a pillow and smile up at him. “How was your exam?”

  Yukhei lets his backpack fall off his shoulder and sprawls out opposite of you on the sectional couch, careful not to wake Xiaoli up. He sighs and relaxes against the velvety pillows.

  “I think I did good, definitely passed it.” He rolls his eyes at you. “You’re lucky you don’t have to take advanced human biology.”

  You let out a breathy laugh then motion for the cookie plate on the coffee table. “Xiao and I left you congratulatory cookies.”

  Most of the time Yukhei would instantly look over at food, but he doesn’t move and stays looking at you. He smiles instead, caught up in the name you gave his daughter. “Xiao?”

“A nickname.” Your cheeks turn pink. “She wanted a nickname.”

  Yukhei’s eyes seem to soften more and more until he clears his throat and turns so that he was laying on his side and looking at you. “I want a nickname.”

  You rack your thoughts and try to set your focus on anything other than the way Yukhei was grinning and toying with his bottom lip at you. You groan lightly. “I don’t know you well enough, I can only give nicknames to people I’m close to.”

  “Oh?” The tall boys eyes twinkle, his smile never leaving. “So the two of you are besties now?”

  You nod and look down at her with a warm gaze. “I honestly feel like she knows me. I’ve never felt so much love from someone.”

  Yukhei’s brows furrow at how you look at Xiao like she was the most precious thing to you. “What about your parents?”

  He catches the way the corners of your lips dip slightly. His hands stutter in their movement as he holds them up. “I’m so sorry for asking such a personal question, you don’t have to answer that-”

  Your quiet laugh stops his sentence. Shaking your head, you offer him a small smile. “Its fine, Yukhei. They were good parents but not there... Emotionally.”

Yukhei’s silent for a second. “You don’t have any siblings?”

“Nope.” You shake your head and swallow thickly. “Just me.”

  The sprawled out boy stays quiet, watching how you would rock Xiaoli lightly, Yukhei couldn’t help but think to himself that you had a natural motherly instinct.

  He couldn’t begin to think about a family that wasn’t one filled with constant love and care. Yukhei grew up in a tight-knit family that showered him and his younger brother with endless love. Xiaoli often spent time with his parents, and was a kid filled with all the love he’s gotten from his family and not just him.

  But then he thinks of a younger you, picking up and putting together the little pieces of your childhood you told him about. A little you memorizing and teaching yourself foreign languages to fill up the silence left from your parents.

“We’re your family now.” 

  Yukhei’s eyes widen when he realizes he said that out loud. He knew your childhood was a bleak one, and most of the love you’ve received coming from your friends rather than your parents. He wanted to help you in any way he could, and if it was just spending time with you and Xiao, he would trade everything in the world for it. “I mean, looks like Xiao already thinks you are even if we just met yesterday.”

  You’re too caught up in your thoughts to really think about his words, lightly brushing strands of hair off of Xiaoli’s face. “I feel like I’ve known her forever.”

  Yukhei feels his breath get stuck in his throat, your voice dripping with sweetness, adoration, honey. He takes the time to really take in the both of you on the couch, wondering if he’s ever seen his daughter so smitten with anyone other than him. He laughs to himself, head shaking and voice deep.

  “I don’t think Xiao’s ever slept on anyone except me. She’s so comfortable with you already.”

  His laughter is what snaps you out of your thoughts, grinning from ear to ear at his words. You keep looking at her, unable to get enough of her cuteness. “Thats one of the nicest things anyones ever told me.”

  Yukhei’s grin grows to the size of yours as he keeps his gaze set on the two of you. He doesn’t look away the whole time, doesn’t even want to blink, cementing this part of his life forever. In that point, he’s never felt so full.

  “Papa?” Xiaoli’s hands are balled up in fists when she rubs her eyes to wake up.

  Yukhei’s eyes drag from you to the little girl in your arms. A dazzling, gentle smile set on his face. “Hello there sleeping beauty.” He pats his chest and opens his arms for her to come to him. “What did you dream about?”

  You watch Xiaoli stumble across the couch to get from you to Yukhei, collapsing onto his broad chest. Your heart rate picks up watching her sit criss-cross on him, and he doesn’t look uncomfortable in the slightest.

“Unicorns, papa! So many unicorns. And I was a queen!”

  Yukhei’s smile is tender as he looks up at Xiaoli. He pinches her cheeks. “Thats not a dream! You’re a queen here, too!”

  The little girl giggles and puts her hands on his baseball cap. “I don’t have a crown. Can I take yours?”

  “No no no.” Yukhei takes her hands from his hat and kisses them instead. “Papa messed up his hair. If Y/N sees, she won’t like me-“

  Sneakily, Xiaoli slips her tiny hands out of Yukhei’s and she takes the cap off his head, giggling like crazy the whole time. Yukhei gasps loudly and groans comically at how Xiaoli held his hat above her head. “Oh, no! You’re too tall for me!”

  Your apartment is filled up with Xiaoli’s bubbly laughter and so is your heart. Your apartment feels so foreign, it didn’t even feel like just yours anymore. The way Yukhei and Xiaoli play on your couch make you forget all the times you’ve cried in that same place. 

  The Wong’s managed to fill your apartment with so much love, you forget all about your loveless childhood and previously lonely, empty apartment.

⇝⇝⇝

  The next time you have the pleasure of seeing Yukhei and Xiaoli is two days later, when you were supposed to help with baking her birthday cake. That was precisely why you stood in front of their door with a nervous bounce to your step and your bottom lip being gnawed on since you woke up this morning. 

   Of course, Yukhei and you have been texting as much as the two of you could but with you having an exam today and him tending to Xiaoli, it was not much. But you didn’t mind at all, the only problem being your nerves about having to see the Wong’s similarly wide smiles and booming laughter. 

“Oh! Yukhei, someones at the door for you!” 

  You snapped out of your thoughts at the opening of Yukhei’s door and a guy around your age standing in the doorway. He gives you an apologetic smile, picking up the fact that he had completely caught you off guard. “I’m sorry about that, I’m Yuta! Yukhei’s neighbor, you must be Y/N.” 

  You’re about to open your mouth when the man of the hour appears behind the shorter, blonde boy with a wide and toothy grin. Your heart skips a beat, and you instantly feel your cheeks redden. 

  “Y/N, I didn’t hear you knock.” He nudges Yuta to allow you into the apartment and you chuckle shyly, fiddling with your fingers. 

  “I was just about to.” You force yourself to look away from Yukhei’s bright eyes and towards his neighbor with a friendly smile. “Yuta, Its nice to meet you. Seems like someones been talking about me, hm?” 

  Yukhei laughs lowly and a little nervously, making Yuta smirk at you. Before he says anything, the three of you turn to a familiar squeal of a little girl. 

“Y/N!” 

  From around the corner, Xiaoli sees you with a larger than life smile that makes you instantly smile back, already crouching down with your arms open wide for her to run into. “Xiao, angel!” 

  When her small arms wrap around you, you hug back and immediately feel all your anxiety fade. “I missed you, Y/N.” 

“And I missed you, lai fa.” 

  Yukhei feels his all his breath leave him when he hears the tender beautiful flower fall from your lips, making him fall all together. His heart beats erratically and uncontrollably, as if adrenaline was pumped straight through his veins. It isn’t until Yuta pats his shoulder that his gaze snaps away from Xiaoli playing with your hair that he realizes the near heart-eyes his face took shape of. 

  “You, my friend, are done for.” Yuta mutters to the still shellshocked dad, snickering behind his hand. He clears his throat, getting your attention away from the little girl in your arms. “I’m afraid I have a date to get to, but it was nice finally putting a face to the stories, Y/N.”

  You get up with a side grin, Xiaoli clutching onto one of your hands. “Will I be seeing you for Xiao’s birthday party tomorrow?” 

  He nods immediately, beaming down at the little girl. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” 

  Taking for into a hug, you step away from them and stand beside Yukhei with a raised brow and a minuscule smirk. “So, been telling stories about me, Yukhei?”

  “Not me, Xiaoli.” He chuckles nervously again and avoids your gaze, “you know how she is. Loves to talk.” 

“Takes after her papa.” 

  Yukhei’s cheeks and ears are a crimson red, thankful for Yuta getting up and announcing his departure and having you look away with a smirk plastered on your face. ‘Yeah, definitely done for’ the taller boy thought to himself watching you wave bye to his neighbor. 

“Are you going to read me good night?” 

  Yukhei instantly looks away from your dimpled smile and towards his daughter who directed the question to Y/N, with a pout and raised brow. “You don’t want me to read to you?” 

  She giggles and shakes her head, her long dark brown hair whipping around. “No, papa. Y/N tonight.” 

  “I seriously love her so much, Yukhei.” You say without looking at him, eyes and attention completely focused on the angel in front of the both of you. You reach down to fix her bangs with a hand resting on her cheek after. “Of course I’ll read to you, Xiao.” 

  After she grins and dances on the spot, she runs around the corner and presumably to her room. Before you can follow, a hand on yours makes you and your heart stop. 

  “If you don’t stop this immediately,” Yukhei utters with a soft voice and dangerously beautiful grin, “I’m afraid I would not be able to let you leave.” 

  He takes a few steps closer to you, closing the distance between the two of you to just a breath away, and it completely takes your breath away. Your mind is in shambles, unable to think about making any form of intelligent noise, instead being grounded on the spot with an awestruck look. 

“Y/N? Papa? I can’t find Tigger!” 

  Yukhei’s eyes that were previously trained on your lips move up to your eyes with a barely audible tsk. He drops your hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, his palm rest resting on the side of your neck for just a second, making you question how you were still breathing at that point. “I’m coming, angel!” 

He steps away from you with a playful glint in his eye. “You good there, Y/N?”

  You have to blink a couple times to regain any normal human motor function before you nod with a bashful chuckle. “You’re a very dangerous man, Wong Yukhei.” 

  All he does is shrug, nodding to where Xiaoli called for them with a small smirk. “I can’t help it, Xiaoli is almost as smitten with you as I am.” 

  He leaves without another word, making you stay grounded on the spot, playing his words and voice and everything in your head before a disbelieving laugh comes from you. You follow where Yukhei goes through the hallway and into a little girls room, very obviously Xiaoli’s due to the pink walls adorned with flowers decorated here and there. She’s laying in her pink bed with a pout and crossed arms. 

  “What happened to sleeping with Snoopy?” Yukhei asks, rummaging through a pile of toys beside a miniature table and chair set. 

“Tigger was lonely.” 

  You hold back a coo, watching Yukhei hide the tiger toy behind his back as he approached Xiaoli’s bed with an exaggerated frown. You lean against the doorframe, not wanting to interrupt the scene in front of you at all. 

“I can’t seem to find him, baobei.” 

  The sweet girl’s pout only deepens and when her eyes nearly whelm up, Yukhei immediately pulls the Tigger toy from his back and in her line of sight. He crouches down to her bed and pats her head, combing his hands through her hair. “Don’t cry, angel, he was just hiding behind me. He’s here now, see?” 

  When her face lights up, his does as well and it brought back that same yearning you felt deep in your chest when you realized that you wanted a family of your own. It pulled at your heart strings, the way Yukhei gazed at his daughter with so much affection. 

“I want Rainbow Fish tonight, Y/N!” 

  You are brought away from your thoughts with a warm smile as you nod at Xiaoli, coming into the room and kneeling beside Yukhei beside her bed. “Is that your favorite story, lai fa?” 

  She nods a bit tiredly, a small smile still on her face as she cuddles the toy and nestles into her pillows. Yukhei chuckles breathlessly, reaching over you to get the book from her bedside table, handing it to you with an affectionate gaze. He sits beside the small bed, being big enough to lean against it with his head resting on his palm. 

  “A long way out in the deep blue sea there lived a fish...” You started to read softly, turning the page here and there, making sure to follow along with your finger for Xiaoli’s benefit. 

  Pointing the pictures when necessary, you were too focused on the story itself to catch the way Yukhei watched you with all the softness in the world. His chest thumped every time you would look back at Xiaoli, even going as far as quietening your voice when you noticed her eye lids getting heavier. Yukhei could not stop looking at you, feeling so entranced by the gentleness of your tone, the quirk of your lips as you read the children’s book, the love in your eyes whenever you looked at Xiao. 

“Yukhei? She’s asleep now.” 

  Blinking, Yukhei’s daze was cut off by your whispers and raised eyebrow. His cheeks flare up as he quickly leans over to the figure of his daughter peacefully asleep. “Sweet dreams, baobei.” 

  You watch him kiss her cheeks, eyelids, and forehead with a racing heart and clammy palms. The act leaving such an impact on you, you felt your eyes whelm up and you look away once you catch the softest ‘i love you forever’ from the tall, beautiful man in front of you. Getting up, you turn the lights off, leaving her bedside nightlight on after you remember Yukhei telling you she couldn’t stay asleep without it. 

  The two of you carefully walk out her room, Yukhei leaving the door partly open before motioning to follow him. “You didn’t have to do that, Y/N. I appreciate it, really.” 

  You just smile and giggle, nudging the beautiful man as you walk beside him. “Stop thanking me for the smallest things, Yukhei. I’d do anything for her.” 

  His reply doesn’t come in the form of words, instead stopping his tracks and turning to you. Theres a rosy hue to his cheeks that instantly makes you blush too, the look forcing all the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy. Yukhei slowly raises his hands over your cheeks and holds them gently. His smile is almost shy, eyes squinting at the corners as he looked down at you with nothing but adoration. 

“Can I kiss you then? Will you accept that as a thank you?”

  Your throat goes dry and you know your face was fire hydrant red, never feeling your cheeks as hot as they did as that moment. You nod dumbly, not trusting yourself to speak and break the way Yukhei gazed at you like everything you’ve ever wanted in life. 

  His face inches forward ever so slightly and just when his lips brush against yours, theres a phone ringing that makes you jump and Yukhei sigh loudly. Keeping one hand on your cheek, he uses the other to reach in his pocket and pull out his phone, answering without taking his eyes off of you. He gives you an apologetic but cheeky smile. 

“Can I help you, Sicheng?”

  You chuckle quietly when Yukhei sighs and a deep voice talks on the other end, making him roll his eyes. Dropping his hand from your cheek, he looks down at you with a pout, his socked left foot nudging yours from where the two of you stood. Your cheek instantly feels ice cold and you wish that you could feel his warm, big hands on you for as long as possible. “Yeah, it’s tomorrow at 2pm. Isn’t Yuta with you? Why couldn’t you ask him yourself?” 

  You couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation, as Yukhei switched to speaking in Cantonese and it was probably the most attractive thing your ears where blessed with; hearing him speak in his mother tongue. 

“Assholes, both of you. Good bye!” 

  The boy in front of you shakes his head before looking at you with a roll of his eyes and a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that. You ready to bake this cake?” 

  You watch him tread to the kitchen that was at the end of the hall, a skip to his step and whistling lowly under his breath. You tried and tried to push back the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that arose from the near Earth-shattering moment but it just kept coming at you, making you flustered all over again. 

  You’ve had a couple boyfriends in your 21 years of life, but none of them standing out or erupting waves of adrenaline and adoration to come from you. And before you bumped into the Wong’s, you’ve been feeling a slow hole of loneliness grow in your chest. Countless nights spent crying yourself to sleep over the thought of being so emotionally unfulfilled was immediately swept away the moment Yukhei looked at you the way he did with his hands on your cheeks. 

  Yukhei always had a smile on his face around you, but not such a loving and caring twinkle that left you breathless every time you thought about it. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

  You look up to warm hot chocolate brown eyes and your lips impulsively perk up on their own. Nodding, you make your way to him and ignore the feeling of completeness you felt being around Yukhei, putting all your focus on the cake mix that sat on top of the kitchen tables. 

“I may or may not have eaten a few spoons of the frosting.”

  Laughter flows out of you easily and carelessly, the innocence in the tall man’s voice making you shake your head but endlessly thankful for having the chance to meet a guy like Wong Yukhei. Without thinking about it, you lean up on the tips of your toes and place a quick but mind numbing kiss on his soft cheek, the action making him freeze instantly and you turn red all over. “If this cake turns out bad then, I’m putting all the blame on you.” 

  Yukhei, in all his dazed glory, can only nod at you with wide eyes and a slack jaw, not prepared for the flash of confidence that came out of nowhere. You can’t help but chuckle shyly at his state, never leaving a boy speechless, especially leaving a man like Wong Yukhei without the ability to think properly. 

  The next four hours was dedicated to baking and decorating the vanilla cake, taking almost twice as long due to the presence that was Yukhei and all his laughter and wide-smiled glory. The two of you talked and joked around as if you’ve known each other for years and not a mere few days. It was easy, the way conversation never seemed to seise and moments of silence feeling anything but awkward. 

  From childhood stories and embarrassing teenage phases to revealing hidden talents and the reasons behind visible scars, the two of you were far too engrossed in each other to notice the worsening weather outside until the finished cake sat proudly on a large golden platter. 

“Oh shit, was that lightning?” 

  Yukhei’s words make your eyes go from the amateurly decorated pink and white cake to windows that showcased heavy rain, thunder, and lightning. You look down to your phone that read 11:45pm and muttered a curse. “I completely forgot a storm was coming tonight, and how is it nearly midnight already?” 

  Walking over to his large living room windows, you see the roads below nearly flooding, with cars having to drive extra slowly but still making it look ever daunting. You pout at the sight. 

“Are you going to be able to drive back in this weather?” 

  Yukhei’s deep voice comes from behind you and you jump at the sound, blushing at how close he was to you. Shrugging and looking at the both of your light green socks, the car keys in your back pocket feeling like a 100 lbs. “Probably, I just never have driven in weather this bad.” 

  Theres a moment of silence between the two of you, only filled up by the loud booming of thunder and constant heavy rainfall. 

  “You can stay the night, if you’d like. I would prefer if you did.” Yukhei looks anywhere but your eyes, feeling heat crawl up his neck. “Just to be safe, I mean. I can sleep on the couch and you can take my bed, and I have extra clothes that are small enough and could fit you. I just need to get them for you-”

  His rambling is cut off by your low chuckle and equally as rosy cheeks. You nod without another thought, making the tall man beam at you bashfully. “Your nervous rambling is adorable, by the way.” 

  “I’m not adorable.” He mutters with a pout and blush still heavily evident on his face. Yukhei coughs a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Let me get you some clothes and check on Xiao, she isn’t scared of storms but I just want to make sure she’s still asleep.” 

  During the time spent baking and decorating the cake, the two of you would take turns checking up on the sleeping little girl. She slept soundly the whole time, but you couldn’t blame Yukhei for wanting to make sure she was still asleep and okay. When he excuses himself from the living room, you can’t help but look around the space, taking it all in for the first time. 

  The moderately furnished room was decorated here and there with framed pictures and occasional polaroids of Xiaoli, Yukhei, his family, and friends. Spotting Yuta in a few of them, you smiled as you picked up a particular selfie Yuta took with Yukhei holding and looking down at a younger Xiaoli with the fondest of smiles on his face. With missing teeth and messy bangs, Xiao beamed at the camera and you wanted to combust on the spot, catching each of the similarities the younger girl shared with her dad. 

  “Do you want to watch a movie and order out some food? I’ve only got leftover Mexican in the fridge and I honestly don’t know how long it’s been there.” You set the frame down and turn to the sound of Yukhei’s voice, where he held out a pair of boxer shorts and a large hoodie. He has a sheepish grin when you meet his eyes. “I like sleeping in freezing temperatures. And I didn’t have any smaller shorts or pants, but if you aren’t comfortable in this I can look deeper in my closet for something else-”

  “Yukhei.” Your smile is wide and made your cheeks hurt, finding him so fucking adorable when he nervously rambles, you couldn’t handle it. You take the clothes from his outreached hands. “These work just fine, thank you. And you choose the food, I pick the movie?” 

  He nods excitedly, twisting the rings on his fingers (another habit you found so absurdly cute). “You can change in my room, it’s right beside Xiao’s. Do you prefer Chinese or Vietnamese?” 

  Your stomach makes an audible noise at the sound of Vietnamese and you give him a meek grin. “If you want pho as much as I do right now, I’ll probably cry.” 

  Yukhei bites down on his bottom lip hard, not wanting to smile as freakishly big as he felt like he would. “You’re so cute, Y/N. I’ll order that then.” 

  Nodding and listing what you preferred in the pho, you go down the hall and into his room, laughing at how Yukhei it was. Everything was clean and organized, no clothes on the floor or a single object out of place. Different sports memorabilia and space-related posters were up on the walls and sprawled across his desk. With a picture of a baby Xiaoli on his bedside, your cheeks kept getting progressively redder the more you spent investigating his room. 

  Quickly changing and laughing at your reflection in his mirror, the hoodie long enough to be a dress, with the shorts barely peaking at the bottom, Yukhei’s clothes basically ate you whole. You pitter-patter through the halls, your leggings and shirt clutched against your chest when you reemerge into the living room. 

“I kind of feel like watching a horror movie, do you mind if we do?” 

  Yukhei is chilling on his couch and looks up from his phone once he hears your voice. He does a double take seeing you drowned in his hoodie, nearly choking on air and feeling super flustered. “Um, yeah, I don’t mind.” 

  You raise an eyebrow at his stutter, and grin playfully scooting next to him on the couch. “Like my outfit? It’s new.” 

  “You look adorable.” He stutters out, shaking his head when he just feels his face going crimson all over again. When he chuckles, its deep and makes your legs go numb. “Fuck, keep the whole thing. You look so damn cute, Y/N.” 

  Your cheeks flush and when he doesn’t stop looking at you with that damned side smile, a giggle falls from your lips. “Stop looking at me like that, Yukhei.” 

  Yukhei just shakes his head, inching closer to you with a coy smile. “I can’t help it honestly.”

  With the softness of his voice, his twinkling eyes, and the way he licked his lips once he looked down at yours. You couldn’t hold yourself back anymore, all conscious thoughts flying out of your head the second you leaned forward and closed the distance between the two of you. 

  And fuck, the millisecond your lips met his velvety soft ones, it felt like it was just the two of you, somewhere far out of this world. You pull away for a moment, and when his eyes that were previously closed flutter open, the butterflies erupt in your chest all over again and you don’t hesitate before kissing him again. 

  Kissing Wong Yukhei was like being wrapped in a fluffy blanket straight from the dryer, the warmth spreading like wildfire throughout your whole body and making the tips of your toes tingle. One of his hands are at the back of your neck, tangling itself around your hair as if he wanted to only get closer to you. The other arm engulfing you so tightly onto him, you could feel his heart beating rapidly through the hoodies the both of you wore. Your heart raced at the same pace, the two organs almost syncing up. 

  His lips felt like magic and you were in awe, every crash of your lips feeling just as explosive as the last. Your arms are wrapped so tightly around his neck, you thought there might be marks. 

  Yukhei kissed you so passionately you couldn’t believe kissing could ever feel like this, and how you’ve never experienced anything like it before. It felt invaluable, caught up in the whirlwind of this beautiful mans arms and lips. 

  When the two of you pull away, its all heavy breathing, swollen lips, and glossy eyes. And just when you thought kissing Yukhei couldn’t be any more surreal, you were by far unprepared for what came after. 

  The way his glassy, twinkling eyes scan your face with a slack jaw of pure unadulterated awe. The two of you too caught up in a daze to realize how tightly you still held onto each other. 

  You’ve kissed and been with a good number of men before, but none of them were Wong Yukhei. 

  Yukhei kisses you again and again, before you catch his adam’s apple bob and a slow, captivating smile stretches across his lips. 

Lips you wanted to kiss over and over again. 

“You’re a very dangerous woman, Y/N.” 

  Your throat feels dry, breathless when you laugh. The hand on the back of your head slides to your cheek and your own play with his soft, brown locks. “I couldn’t help it, Yukhei.” 

  A doorbell bursts the bubble around Yukhei and you, bringing you back to Seoul and back to his apartment. He groans under his breath, hands still never leaving you. “That’s our food.” 

  When he still doesn’t move and doesn’t look away from your ever increasing rosy cheeks, you nudge him with a chuckle. “You should probably go get that then.” 

  Yukhei pouts, eyes lingering on your lips before he can’t help but kiss them again. It was terrifying how addictive the softness of his lips were and how well they fit against yours, but you were thankful knowing he was just as obsessed with it as you were. 

  The rest of the night is a blur. Both of you wrapped against each other, arms and legs entangled as if to make up for the years the two of you never met. A random but forgotten horror movie playing in the background and two large bowls of pho between you, it felt like looking away from each other would be committing a sin.

  For the first time that night in many years spent sleeping alone, you fall asleep on a guy’s chest. But as you quickly learned in the mere four days you’ve known Yukhei, he was by far no ordinary guy. 

⇝⇝⇝

  You wake up to the smell of coffee and pancakes, Yukhei’s couch feeling just as comfortable as a bed with the amount of comforters and blankets the two of you nestled yourselves in the night before. 

  You sit up to stretch and immediately burrow back into the thick blankets, the living room nearly freezing. 

“Morning angel, how many sugars do you want in your coffee again?” 

  Yukhei’s voice makes you a double take, the morning blessing him with extra deep vocals that made you flush a crimson red. “Uh,” your croaky throat makes you cringe slightly, “just two please. Morning Yuki, how was your sleep?”

  His head pops out from the kitchen with a bright, surprised smile. “Did you just call me Yuki?” 

Your eyes widen and you laugh nervously. “Maybe. What about it?”

  Walking into the living room stirring a mug of coffee, Yukhei looked like he walked straight out from the gates of heavens. His dark hair fell over his forehead in a messy, curly fashion that instantly brought you back to the events of last night. 

  “I like it, you finally gave me a nickname.” He sits beside you, handing the mug with a slow smile. He leans back on the couch, looking at you fondly as you sipped on the coffee, surprised he made it perfectly like you wanted. “I slept perfectly. What’d you dream about?” 

  Your mind goes crazy, remembering the same question he asked Xiaoli after she napped in your house. You take the mug with both hands, relishing its warmth. “I don’t remember, really. Last night was a dream on its own.” 

  Yukhei’s laugh is as deep as the Mariana’s Trench, holding up a hand to cradle and rub your cheek with his thumb. His cold rings complementing the heat of your cheek and the warmth of his palm. “So cute. I’m glad you stayed last night.” 

  A small yawn breaks the contact between Yukhei and you, both your eyes going to Xiaoli’s small frame in one of Yukhei’s old high school track and field shirts. She rubs her eyes with one fist, the other still holding onto the same Tigger toy from last night. “Good morning.” 

  Yukhei instantly coos, opening his arms wide for the little girl to come into. “Look who’s awake! Its my baobei’s birthday!”

  She hops on his lap, sitting criss-cross with a tired but excited smile, holding her toy to her chest. You pinch her cheeks when she turns to you. “You’re 5 now, thats so exciting, lai fa!” 

  Grinning, she drops the tiger to hold onto your cheeks and gives you a big kiss on your forehead. “I’m happy you’re here, Y/N!” 

  “See, its not just me.” Yukhei says with a gentle, soothing voice that makes your heart flutter. He rubs Xiao’s back with one hand and rests the other on your knee, squeezing it every now and then. “What do you want for breakfast, angel?” 

  “Cake! Birthday cake!” She squeals, clapping wildly. Yukhei laughs, letting go of your knee to fix and comb through her messy bangs and hair, pulling it up to a ponytail. “Did you get a cake?” 

  “Y/N and I baked one just for you, baobei. Its extra special because its your 5th birthday!” 

  When you turn away from Yukhei’s dashing smile to Xiaoli and your facial expression drops when her eyes whelm up. You instantly move closer to the two of them, holding onto her hands. “Why are you crying, Xiao? Do you want a different cake?”

  She pouts and shakes her head, tears slipping from her eyes. “No, I’m happy, Y/N. So happy. This is the best birthday ever.” 

  Yukhei quickly wipes her tears, shushing her from tearing up more with a wispy look of his own. Kissing each cheek, he pulls in the both of you for a hug, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. The previously freezing living room feels almost too warm now, feeling Xiaoli’s arms wrap around the both of you. She giggles when you pinch her cheeks again, leaning more into your chest. 

  He looks down at you with a larger than life smile that makes you want to stay with the Wong’s for as long as you could. Kissing the top of your head, Yukhei mutters under his breath my angels, my angels over and over again, as if trying to cement the complete fulfillment he felt at the moment.