Nayutski

Warning: While this might seem romantic, this is no doubt a heavy topic.

This story is not a part of any dad!NCT series. It’s an adaptation of Modern Love’s podcast ‘you may want to marry my husband’. Sentences I quoted from the original essay is written in italic.

I’ve been meaning to write this since a century ago, but well… as Ten “The Procrastination King”, I kept saying “I’ll do it tomorrow” as if I know these lungs are still gonna work tomorrow. So yeah, long story short, I procrastinated and suddenly they had to put me under sedation.

(Please check out the trailer for a little backstory)

Your boyfriend was the biggest fan of Mark Lee’s side project, Late Night Plans. As your third anniversary’s surprise, you got yourself two tickets to LNP’s first concert; hoping that you’d get to experience being kissed in the middle of the crowd, with Mark Lee’s voice as the theme song.

And a plan is just a plan. You’re not the only one in his heart. Not the first, and surely not his last. But thank God, Mark Lee invited you to come up to the stage and share your pain with other audiences. 

All lights from the venue were turned down completely, leaving a soft, white spotlight pointing right Mark Lee’s direction. From where you were standing, his dream-like silhouette was the only thing you could see while he's singing. His voice… God, his voice was a warm and intimate tune to your ears. It played with your emotions as you were standing between all cables and music gears behind the curtain. 

“Get ready,” a crew told you when Mark’s song was approaching the end. “Smile! Don’t be scared!” said her as she watched you squeezing the hem of your skirt so tightly until your knuckles went white. 

Title: May I Taste You? Genre: Romance, Smut (Oral - Female receiving) Word Count: 3522 words Previous Parts:  Please read the previous part to give yourself an idea about ____, Harin, and Doyoung’s relationship. Synopsis: The most intimate action you’ve ever done with Doyoung during your 8-months old relationship was kissing— well, with tongue involved. Oh, wait. Well, he often touches your breast with his hand (And sometimes mouth) too. But it never goes beyond that.

You’re waiting for Doyoung to return to the bed while watching a variety show on TV. Considering the time he spends in the bathroom, he’s definitely doing his big business in there and you’re going to be lonely for some time.

There are times when you’re glad that you have a queen-sized bed instead of king-sized ones. First, it’s when Harin refused to sleep in your room because, quoting what she said, There’s no freedom for me and my plushies in here. Second, when you have more space in your room to put a refrigerator filled with beers and snacks inside your room. Third, and the most important ones, when Doyoung has no other choice but to sleep closer to you. He hates sleeping on the bed’s edge, he said, he prefers sleeping towards the center of the bed where the mattress is softer and bouncier.  “…and it’s easier to hug you when the room gets colder,” he once said.

Attention. You've been craving for one since the first time you realized that you're alive but not loved. You had tried seeking for attention by doing your best in everything, but your parents took you for granted. Do I have to praise you? Fuck no. That's what a daughter is supposed to do even when we don't ask you, they said. Hurt? Yes. But you didn't give up. You kept trying to live a life that, as you assumed, they wanted you to have— even if it means you're gonna lose yourself in the process.

At some point, you had had enough. For the first time in your life, you took the opposite path from what they wanted you to take. You took your guitar and left the comfort of your room. You didn't look back when your father screamed at you, you felt nothing when your mother's hand landed on your cheek, and you weren't afraid when they threatened to stop supporting you— in any way possible. You were just couldn't care less. You're ready to show off your talents. You're ready to be found by thousands of people who are gonna love you as you.

But for three weeks, you're just an entity no one cared to see and hear. They threw coins inside your case, and moved on. No one actually listened to your song.

Until three days ago, you noticed someone's watching you from afar while you're playing Casimir Pulaski Day. You then watched his head subtly followed the rythm of your guitar before he disappeared inside the moving bus.

Two days ago, that someone's there again. A he. A beautiful 'he' with his lean body, pointy nose, and cat-like eyes. You played Sufjan Steven's Chicago to catch his attention, and you made it. He turned his head to you upon hearing the first verse. "Hey! Come here! I can play any song you wanna dance to!" You took the courage to scream and wave at him. He waved back at you and smiled while entering the blue bus he took everyday at the same time.

So yesterday, you waited for him. Your hands skillfully tuning your guitar, preparing yourself to play the song you thought he'd like: Mystery of Love.

And there he was. Walking from the building where, you supposed, he's working in. But that day, he's not walking towards the bus stop. He's walking towards you; his left hand loosening up his neck tie and his right hand gesturing you to start singing.

"Good song choice by the way," He said as he's pouring coins out of his small pouch to your guitar case. You smiled, thanking him for giving you a chance to eat a warm meal tonight and, most importantly, a chance to be seen.

When you thought he's just gonna listen to your song, you're wrong. Once he took of his shoes, he then started dancing and effortlesly conveying his raw emotions through his movement. His shape was so graceful as if you can read lyrics through his lines and curves. It felt like the world around you was dark, and the only spotlight is illuminating him.

He stopped abruptly as the blue bus was approaching. He carelessly put on his shoes, took his clutch out of your guitar case, and started running to the bus stop. He turned around for awhile, shouting "I'm coming back next week! Prepare good songs for me!"

"What's your name?"

"Ten!" He entered the bus and went out of your sight completely.

You smiled. You thought you needed attention from 1000 people to make yourself feel appreciated, needed, and important.

After days of preparation; days of crews and equipments flooding into Mark’s house, finally the day has come. Cameras that were set on every part of his house are now blinking their red lights. Each small tent that was built in every corner of his house is now occupied with one adult and his camera; ready to follow every movement of the princess.

"Mark and Myla Lee, Scene one, take one, action." Once the director's assistant clap the slate, Mark reads the question in front of him inside his head. Tell us about yourself, your wife, your marriage, and your daughter.

"Hello, Everyone." He bows in front of the camera to greet his audiences, "My name is Mark Lee from the group NCT 127, but in this house, I'm famous as 'Papa Lee' because apparently, Mark isn’t an easy word to be pronounced by a 2,5 year-old toddler.”

Until today, he still couldn’t believe that he’s starring  at his favorite variety show with his own daughter. Even before he met you, it’s always been Mark’s dream to join Superman Returns’ families because, as someone who’s too lazy in documenting moments, he thought it’d be very helpful if there is a professional team that could record every milestone of his child and sharing them to his fans. Also, it’d be very cool if he, despite all of his carelessness, can be seen as a superhero in the eyes of his fans and his daughter.

The director’s assistant then pointing at the word wife on the question paper; signaling Mark to start talking about you.

"I got married to my wife five years ago. She used to be a radio announcer before she quit to be a full-time mom when Myla was born.” He takes a deep breath while trying to gather words he needs to elaborate a perfect story about you, “Honestly, her decision to quit her career to take care of Myla deeply moved me. It wasn't an easy decision to do, especially when she's at the peak of her career.” He stops again to make sure he’s not talking too much, “But that's when I knew that the love a mother has for a child— even when she's not born yet— can overcome everything. She inspires me to be a better dad for Myla, and at the same time, she encourages me to become a better artist."

A new paper shows up. What changes in you after Myla's born?

"It's like my second life has started. I mean, I still have in me the old mark; the same Mark with his strong ambition to fulfill his dreams and also the same Mark with a bunch of regrets. But when Myla came, she brought me a whole new world. " A wide smile formed in Mark's face before he continues, "Although I still have the same dreams and regrets, she leads me to walk another path in life. She teaches me to be mindful about everything I do. She teaches me to appreciate and be thankful for small things. She reshapes me to be a better, although not perfect, me."

The director and the other staff seem bewitched by Mark's words to the point they don't realize that Mark has done talking and waiting for a new question— or maybe a cue that tells this interview has ended. The moment he wakes up from his daydream, the assistant quickly write down the final question for Mark. How close are you with Myla?

"Well, that's a hard question. When you ask Myla who she loves more, she'll definitely say that she loves her mom more." He laughs his signature laughter where he laughs and claps like a seal, " But on the scale 1 to 10, I'll give myself an eight. Although she spends most of her time with her mom, but whenever I'm home, she'll 100% forget her mom and sticks to me like a chewing gum. But if you ask me whether I know her or not, that's where I'm not sure. Myla is a mystery. I think I know her today, but the next day I have to learn another new thing about her. She's—" 

"Papaaaaaaa!" Through the opened door, Myla's scream creeps into the room. Although her scream sounds coming from somewhere far away, but everyone can hear that she's really screaming on top of her lungs.

"Could you please excuse me for a moment?" Mark gets out of the room to follow the sound of a crying Myla that eventually leads him to the bathroom near Myla's room. 

When he enters the bathroom, Mark finds you crouching down in front of the toilet with one hand caressing Myla's back. He can sense  confusion and helplessness radiating through your gestures expression while you're looking at the sweaty Myla, "I know it's painful, Myla. I know." 

For the past two days, Myla’s bowel doesn’t want to cooperate. On the first day she missed her ‘morning routine’, you weren’t worry that much. You thought that it’s something normal, and she’ll get it out on the next day. But on the next day, Myla started feeling the urge to get it out, but that’s when the vicious cycle started. 

She felt hurt when she started pushing, and then she stopped trying. Traumatized by the pain, she avoided going to the bathroom when the time came. The more she held back, the more constipated she got. The more constipated she was, the more painful it was. It’s repeating again and again to the point she’s losing her appetite and become a lot more cranky.

You wipe the tears that are streaming down Myla's face after trying to push the stubborn poop out of her. "Let's try again later, okay?" Myla nods to your question. You try to clean her up, but then you find a blood stain on the tissue you're using. 

Mark knows you're too brokenhearted to do your 'job' correctly when he realizes that you're staring at the blood stain for way too long, "I'll do it," he squats down before the toilet and continue the cleaning himself. In his head, Mark is trying to formulate a way to make going to the bathroom is less traumatizing for Myla. 

"Later when you need to poopoo again, you can pinch my arm like this," He pinches his own arms to give an example to Myla, "So you can share the pain with me because I really, reeeeeaally, hate to see you hurting alone. Okay, Love?" And although she hesitated at first, Myla eventually nods.

“Can you promise me that you’ll drink a lot of water and eat your fruits and veggies, Myla?” And she shakes her head with all of her might.

“Mark, can I stay for today?” Your heart feels really heavy upon remembering that you need to leave the house while they’re shooting the show.

“Don’t worry, Babe. I know how to motivate her eating her veggies and moving her body,” He winks at you before continuing, “Myla, if I promise you that I’ll invite Kaito Oppa to our house, can you promise me to eat your fruits and veggies today?” And without much thought, Myla agrees to Mark’s condition.

You smile after hearing Mark’s plan in motivating Myla to do what she hates doing. Damn, Mark Lee. I admit that you're smart sometimes. You praise him in your head.

It’s no longer a secret that, if Caesar Milan is a dog whisperer, Kaito is a myla whisperer. Just by talking to Kaito on a video-call, the dark cloud above Myla’s head will disappear suddenly. Just by shaking his head, Kaito can stop Myla from doing whatever she’s doing. Kaito’s power over Myla’s heart is something that no other person can have; not Minki, not Yoojae, not Haein— and sometimes not even Mark.

“Have you called Yuta though?” You whispered in Mark’s ears, making sure he’s not giving Myla a false hope so you can leave the house peacefully.

The clock in the living room rings nine times; marking the end of the twins' bed-time routine. No more chit-chat, no more storytelling, and no more light. They have to start closing their eyes and begin their sheep counting session right away— well, in the twins' case, it's actually called  Hippopotamus counting instead of sheep counting because the twins have an unexplainable grudge against sheeps.

"Sleep tight, Loves." You vaguely hear Jaehyun bids goodbye to the twins and closes their door softly. You then close your eyes and start counting Jaehyun's steps in your mind. The louder Jaehyun's step is, the harder you try pretending to be asleep because you don't know what and how to talk to Jaehyun after what he did in the morning. You can't even understand what emotion is now dominating your mind— Is it anger, sadness, confusion, acceptance, or disappointment; you can't choose because they're all overpowering each other.

The door is opened. Even though your face is facing the wall, you can clearly sense the awkwardness coming from behind you. The room suddenly turns cold and quiet; almost too quiet so you can only hear your breath.

After standing still in front of the door for a few minutes, you can feel Jaehyun gets closer to you. The bed is shaking a little when he carefully tries to get on it, "Babe?" Jaehyun whispers in your ear; his thumb caressing your shoulder. You try really hard to keep pretending, but your body betrays you by getting goosebumps over his touch. "I know you're still up. Can we—" he inhales a deep sigh before exhaling it heavily, "Can we… talk?"

You give up pretending. Still, your heart hasn't been in the right place to talk to him. Just thinking about the expression he made while saying I need some sleep is already making your heart racing and your blood boiling, "Let's talk about it tomorrow, Jae." No matter how hard it would be to talk to Jaehyun tomorrow, you still believe that things need to be talked through. Talk, don't dwell in assumptions is even written in your pre-wedding "contract" with Jaehyun.

"O-okay." He moves away from you slowly, "May I sleep here tonight?"

"Okay," You flatly say, trying not to laugh at Jaehyun's biggest concern of the night.

—

You open your eyes upon feeling the bed is shaking a little. Unlike when you started sleeping, you're now facing Jaehyun's broad back in front of you. But even with the dimmed light, you can clearly see his shoulder shaking and not long after, your ears catch sobbing sound coming from Jaehyun's side.

You then sit yourself up on the bed, trying to wake Jaehyun up from his bad dream. Jaehyun crying at night while sleeping is not something new, because he often gets bad dream when he's too exhausted. All you need to do is waking him up, and let him snuggles his head onto your chest. "Jae, bad dream ag—" You don't finish your question because you find Jaehyun really cries; hands hugging his dark-green notebook in his chest.

"Hey, why are you crying?" The moment you realize that he's crying, you forget every anger you have throughout the day. For someone who rarely cries and angry, something really bad must've happened to him last night— and you should've realized it from the start. "Wanna talk about it, Jae?"

"I'm ashamed of myself, _____." He hides his face onto the pillow; this behaviour is so unlike Jaehyun. 

You caress his hair lovingly, trying to tell him that you still got his back, "Something happened to you in the studio, Jae?"

"I wish I have more power over my… dream." He gets up and you automatically pulls him into your arms, "The song I wrote about Mina and Minki…"

"Your title track?"

"...not anymore." His head falls onto your shoulder the moment he said that, as if his soul and energy have completely left his body. "I can't use it as my title track, can't even include it into the album." He starts sobbing again, and your heart is breaking with every sobs you hear, "What should I do, ___? It's supposed to be Mina and Minki's birthday gift."

Now you completely understand why he's so emotional this morning. As a family guy, he had spent so many hours away from his family for the sake of recording and practicing for his first album. The thought of giving Mina and Minki a song about them was the only thing that kept him going; the only thing that made him could forgive himself for not being there for the twins.

But then, they took it out from the album suddenly; without any conversation to begin with. To Jaehyun, It's like amputating all of his limbs without any reason at all. Sure he's still alive, but he can't be functioning 'normally' again after that.

"I'm the worst father in the world, isn't it? I can't even fight for them, and now I hurt them. I really don't deserve—"

"Sshh, you're not the worst father, Jae. You're just having the worst day."

—

You have no idea that the relationship you started with Doyoung would progressed into something you deeply cherish and enjoy. If a year ago you always hated Sunday because it pushed Saturday away and brought Monday closer, now Sunday is the only day of the week you're looking forward to. 

These days, Sunday no longer means staying in bed the whole day to recharge your forever-low energy. Sunday no longer means feeding Harin with foods your mom sent you on Friday. Ever since Doyoung came into your life, Sunday means family time. Sunday means Doyoung.

Unlike the other days when you have to think of different ways to wake Harin up, only on Sunday, she'll wake up on her own. She'll jump off the bed to run into the bathroom, and cheerfully brushes her teeth while singing NCT 127's Switch— no matter how much you love hearing Doyoung's voice in the song, you can't avoid getting sick of hearing it since Harin literally plays the song on repeat 24/7; it's her morning anthem and also her lullaby. Not only she can sing the song perfectly, she has also memorized the choreography. At this point, you're sure you won't be surprised if one day Harin says that she want to be an idol like Doyoung.

After brushing her teeth, the next thing Harin usually does on Sunday is going through all clothes in her closet to find the prettiest pair that makes her looks perfect in front of Doyoung. Most of the time, it'll seem like Harin is the one who's actually dating Doyoung, not you.

Ding dong. 

Swooosh. You can feel something so fast passing you as you're trying to open the door for Doyoung. That 'something' is Harin. She wants to be the first person Doyoung sees and kisses when the door is opened.

"Harin!" Doyoung gets down on his knees to kiss her cheeks, "How are you, Darling? Still having cold?" 

You can feel your legs turning into jelly whenever hearing Doyoung calls Harin with 'Darling'. No one, other than you and your family, ever called her that way. Everybody calls her by her name; even her 'dad' calls her a mistake.

"I'm great, Uncle. I'm just a little bit hungry," She rubs her stomach while staring meaningfully at Doyoung's eyes.

"Don't worry, Darling. I've bought these for you!" Doyoung shows Harin a plastic bag filled with potato, sausage, chicken, and broccoli a.k.a Harin's worst nightmare. "You love broccoli, right?" Doyoung asked.

She heaves a sigh before saying, "Y-yes, Uncle." A bitter smile clearly formed on her face; making you and Doyoung try really hard not to laugh.

Actually, Doyoung know that Harin hates everything green on her plate. He knows you've given up trying to feed her vegetables, so then Harin has to take vegetable supplements to make up for vitamin deficiency in her body. 

But Doyoung also knows how to play with Harin's ego. He knows that Harin will always try to be a good girl in front of him. And in her mind, 'being a good girl' also means 'being a girl who loves eating vegetables'.

*

Doyoung is a cure for Harin's youtube addiction. Today's Harin enjoys watching Doyoung cooks more than she enjoys  watching Pororo. She also opens up a lot more about herself, because her mind is no longer occupied by videos after videos that are recommended by Youtube. She now has room in her mind that can be filled with dreams and imagination she makes by and for herself.

"Harin, your mama told me that you're now friend with Hyunwoo. What happened?" That's the question you don't even know the answer. Hyunwoo used to be the one who often made Harin cried at school after being told things like Harin's father hates her, Harin's father dumped her, and many other horrible things. 

Hyunwoo's image was really bad in your and Doyoung's mind, you both didn't expect to see Harin did a great job helping Hyunwoo finishing his drawing today on her daily report made by her teacher at the kindergarten.

"I'm not her friend, Uncle. I'm just doing what you told me,"

"Which is…" 

"To always give something for someone who needs help," She drinks her water before continuing, "So I gave him the talent he don't have, Uncle. His drawing was so bad, I feel bad for my teacher to see that ugly drawing."

Both you and Doyoung absolutely didn't expect that answer. You were expecting a deep and life-changing explanation behind her kindness, but no.

"Has he stopped teasing you now?" Doyoung asked while serving roasted potato with stir-fried chicken and broccoli on the table.

"I don't know, Uncle. Maybe he'll start teasing me again when—" She stopped talking and hesitantly look at Doyoung's face, "Nevermind,"

"What, Harin? You can tell me."

Harin suddenly turns fidgety. She can't stop shaking her feet and start biting her lips, "There will be a father's day celebration in my school next week," she then checks Doyoung's expression once again before continuing, "Would you come to my school on father's day, Uncle?"

That request hurts you and delights you at the same time. It hurts, because it's almost impossible for Doyoung to attend the celebration because he has to keep the relationship lowkey for the sake of his image. But it's also delightful, because now it's clear that Harin thinks of Doyoung as her father.

"Doyoung we can talk ab—"

"Of course, Harin. I'll empty my schedule for you," you can see Doyoung's face and eyes are getting red while saying that, "I'll celebrate father's day with you, My Love." His voice is shaking when he said father's day. His tears start falling down.

On the first meeting, Mark impressed the whole club with his acting. His expressions were natural, his intonations sounded like a good song in your ears, his words and pronunciations were clear; he made you forget that he was acting.

But his acting got worse the more you practiced. 

Actually, He’s doing a great job with other actors but you. You couldn’t understand the emotions he’s trying to portray, he kept distancing himself from you, and he forgot every lines he had with you.

And last week’s practice was the messiest of it all.

“I think I’m in l-l-love— pffftt,” his laughter burst every time he’s saying that line. No progress for last week’s practice, because all casts had to repeat the same scene over and over again until Mark could be on his right mind— which didn’t happen last week. 

Last week was too exhausting for you. A thought of stepping down from the role even came to your mind as you blamed yourself for not becoming the perfect partner for Mark— maybe, just maybe, Mark could return to his best performance if his partner wasn’t you.

Let’s give this week a try. Everything will get better. You gave yourself a pep talk while keep reading your script. 

And you found a folded paper in between the papers; Mark’s handwriting. Your hand quickly unfolded the letter and then you found your heartbeat stopped at the first sentence he wrote

Dear,____.

I think I’m in love with you.

I think I’m in love with you.

I think I’m in love with you.

I think I’m in love with you.

I can write the same sentence a thousand more times for you if you want. It’s easy, my muscle memory remembers it all.

I’m sorry I messed up a lot earlier. I don’t know why, but your magnetism can always find a way to suck those words out of my mouth. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve rehearsed in front of the mirror, I’ll always be tongue-tied in front of you. 

You once asked me, “What’s so hard about saying those words, Mark? It’s on your script, and it’s only one line.” You’re right, it’s easy to say, we’re only acting anyway.

But you know I’m not a good actor. I still can’t separate myself as Mark from myself as Juno. I always get my real feelings involved, so the thought of being found and not being loved back by you is too scary for a coward like me. 

"Hi, ____! It's been a long time," Without even looking at your record, Jaehyun knew exactly when was the last time you visited his office. March 18th 2019; the day when you came with the biggest smile on your face because you knew that the donations you got could be used to spray and neutral more than three stray cats. It's also the day when Jaehyun couldn't sleep at night, his eyes staring at your phone number that he secretly saved from the patient's record.

One touch on the green icon was all he needed to reach you, but he couldn't. He made a promise to make a move on you on your next monthly visit to his office.

"I know right? It's been... what? Three months?" You took the cat out of the carrier with Jaehyun's help.

"Why's that?"

"I recently moved to a new apartment, so I have zero budget for the cats. Also, the donations were only enough to buy their food." You sighed, "I might need to find a sugar daddy to pay the cats' bills,"

Jaehyun halted his movement and looked at you with an arched brow, "Why you need sugar daddy when you can have a dedicated vet to take care of your cats?"

Jaehyun could feel blood and heat started rushing through his vein to his cheeks and ears. It got crazier when he saw you chew lightly at your bottom lip, resisting a grin that was about to bloom.

"A vet can only take care of my cats, Jaehyun. I too need a care,"

Jaehyun exhaled in relief, knowing that you're actually responding to his flirting "Oh, this vet can do both,____." He smiled cheek-to-cheek, "Wanna try?"

“Tae, look ahead!” Taeyong snapped out of his daydream and found you were already holding on tightly on your seat belt. Sorry, he mumbled. He really didn’t realize he was looking at you all the time instead of the road. He just couldn’t stand it; he wanted to capture the as much memories of you as he could.

He felt a pinch in his chest when you played ‘Hey There Delilah’ on the music player. The song, along with other long distance songs, would be the anthem of his days for the next two years. With the sweet sound of his voice, he followed the song you played,

“A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they’ve got planes and trains and cars—“ he stopped singing all of the sudden, “God, I wish I was portable…”

You raised your eyebrows in confusion, “Portable? Why?”

“Yes, portable, so you can carry me around everywhere.” He turned at you and created sad puppy-face while saying, “Can I just follow you? Our bed will be too big without you by my side.”

He really didn’t want to be that kind of melancholic boyfriend who’s wailing at the thought of being left by his girlfriend. He wanted to be the supportive boyfriend that you need.

But it wasn’t easy.

“Stop it, Tae. Just two years; I’ll be back in two years. Besides, I’ll keep returning every month, Tae. It’s not a big deal, really. I’ll return and I’ll make you forget what is personal space in bedroom.” You pinched his cheek and left a soft peck on it afterwards.

“Promise you’ll come back, yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Every month, yeah?”

“Sure!”

“After two years, you’ll get my last name, yeah?”

You could feel the heat went up from your chest to your cheeks, “Yes. I’ll have your last name and a new academic title in two years.”

“Tae… they’ve found her—“ Taeyong’s mom hesitated to break the news for Taeyong as he was already suffering enough for the past couple of days, “I’m sorry, Tae.” Taeyong’s mom quickly hugged him so she didn’t have to look at Taeyong’s eyes. She’s tired of seeing hopelessness in those eyes, she wanted his sparkling eyes back.

But she knew it won’t happen soon, because your name was all over the internet and news as one of the victims of a plane crash.

Taeyong gritted his teeth as he saw your photo in the frame that he was holding. His thumb caressed your hair in the photo, but all he could feel was the cold and and sleek surface of the paper; not the softness of your curly hair.

“Why are you lying to me?!” Taeyong screamed at your photo he was holding. His mom and the rest of his family quickly gathered around him to calm him down.

Genre: Angst

Length: 1.6k words

Warning: Nothing

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun & Female Reader

Summary: This is the exact same moment from the precious post, but in Jaehyun’s POV. Don’t read this if you haven’t read the previous part.

Soundtrack: Ordinary - Copeland

Download this file to see this part and previous part side-by-side

From: Lee Miso

Jae, Don’t forget ur lunch❤️

To: Lee Miso

Ok.

From: Lee Miso

Where r u now baby? I miss you

To: Lee Miso

Work. Ttyl :)

Work?

Why am I always using work as a reason to run away from women? Stupid.

As he’s insulting himself, Jaehyun quickly put his phone back to his pocket and then ordered his third bottle of water. He needed to cool his body down from the nervousness and slight embarrassment that was flooding in his system. There were thousand reasons he had for not meeting you after that night, but apparently there were also million reasons he had for coming and meeting you.

One of those million reasons was He’s missing you, terribly.

He understood. After all pains he caused you, after all shits he threw at you for the past 8 months, he absolutely had no right to miss you— or even to think about you.

But he still did.

He missed waking up to the sound of your sizzling pan, going to work with a lunch box you made, coming home to the smile you put on your tired face, and sleeping to the lullaby you sang every night.

The past eight months had been so empty.

“Hi, Jae!” A light tap you made on Jaehyun’s shoulder sent an electric-like jolt to all over his body. She’s here. He couldn’t stop staring at your presence, until he forgot to greet you.

But as he tried to stand up, you’re already sitting across of him. He lost his chance to hug you.

Jaehyun’s mind was trying to formulate the right opening for today’s meeting, but he could only come out with, “How are you doing lately?” He smiled, but he himself could feel his smile was insincere.

“Well… as you can see,” You left the answer hanging to his own interpretation.

She looks… Jaehyun really couldn’t read you at all. Physically, you’re looking great. Even greater than the last time he met you. You’re back to using your favorite bright-colored clothing, your face’s looking more shining than ever, but your eyes… Why are your pupils shaking while looking at me? What does it mean?

Jaehyun wasted his time uncovering the meaning behind your shaking pupils, he didn’t realize the food had come and you had already eating your food in silence. He had no other choice than eating his food too, while keep thinking about what he should talk about next. He really wanted you to talk about your days like you used to, so he didn’t have to talk about the reason why he’s meeting you that afternoon.

“So, what is this, Jae?” You shoved a piece of meat to your mouth while looking at Jaehyun’s eyes. He observed the emotions in your eyes, but they were emotionless. Why aren’t you sad? You know that…

“I’m getting married next month,” it took a lot of courage to spit out the words he wanted to say throughout those suffocating twenty minutes.

Again, he took his time observing the emotions in your eyes, searching for the emotions he’s waiting for: sadness— even if it’s just a trace of your sadness would be fine for Jaehyun. He just needed a validation.

But he didn’t expect what you said next,

“So this is where I supposed to hug you and congratulate you, huh?” You stood up and walked to his seat to hug him. “Congratulations, Jae.”

He wanted to scream at you so you’d stop hugging him, but he couldn’t. As much as he hated to long for your embrace, he still craved for it. The warmth you radiated was something he had been missing; something he couldn’t find in every sessions of intimacy with her.

How could I exchange you for her? Just thinking about it made Jaehyun’s legs felt weak. He supported himself up by placing his hand on your back and his chin on the crook of your neck. “I’m really sorry for what I’ve done—”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because you pulled yourself from his hug “Oh, don’t say that, Jaehyun. I want you to live in regret for the rest of your life.” The way you spit out the harsh truth sent shiver to Jaehyun’s spine.

I deserve this. He thought. Although deep inside him, he’s still hoping that he can stand another chance with you. Just one last cry from you could validate the feelings he’d been feeling lately— he wanted to return to his home after months of meaningless adventure.

Yes. He just realized that home is you.

“I’m kidding, Jae!” You returned to your seat with the most cheerful expression you had ever made, “Don’t worry, I’ve forgiven you.”

She’s forgiven me? Sounds like she’s given up on me.

He returned to his chair with no other choice than smiling at you and left the past behind. He’s embarrassed by all foolish decisions he made over the past months; all for nothing.

“So who’s the bride?” Jaehyun’s heart stopped at the question. He really didn’t want to answer that question, because he felt dirty for talking about her in front of you. It felt like there were eight deadly sins instead of seven: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, pride, envy, and Lee Miso.

Jaehyun took out the invitation card out of his bag, so he didn’t have to tell you her name.

Jaehyun then saw your finger tracing the card. At some point, you stared blankly at the paper while mouthing Lee Miso and smiled hurtfully. “Why her, Jae?” That question slipped through your mouth out of nowhere. Jaehyun shut his mouth; eyes avoiding your gaze. He hadn’t prepared himself for such question.

“How could you decide to marry her this fast?” The last word came out almost like a whisper, but it sounded like thunder to Jaehyun’s ears.

“I can’t explain that. With her, suddenly everything feels… right.”

He lied. He could easily answer the question with one word: Lust.

Being together for so long with you, made nothing felt interesting anymore to Jaehyun. Your mistakes annoyed him. Listening to your stories made him yawned. Sex was not something he’s looking forward to anymore. You were no longer his priority, his works were.

And everything was exciting with Miso. Everything did felt right. But that was because Jaehyun had been knowing you inside-out for years, while he only knew Miso for months. Of course Miso was more perfect than you; she’s just showing Jaehyun her good sides, never her ugly sides.

At that moment, Jaehyun didn’t know how rude she would be to his parents. Jaehyun didn’t know how lazy she would become. Jaehyun didn’t know how bad their personality clash would be. Jaehyun didn’t know that the right person for him was you.

And those failures are painful to admit.

Jaehyun woke up from his thoughts and found you got lost in your thought as well. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” You smiled, “You can see it yourself.” Again, you left the answer hanging to Jaehyun’s interpretation.

That’s it. She’s putting her distance to me. Jaehyun knew he shouldn’t pressure you to say the real answer. He chose to finish his lunch in sickening quietness.

*

“So, can I expect you to be at my wedding?” Jaehyun asked when you’re about to enter your friend’s car. Although he knew he didn’t stand another chance to be the main actor of your life story, he only needed to be the supporting role. Just a friend is enough.

You turned to face him and said “It’s actually the opposite.” You closed the door again before continuing, “I believe this is gonna be the very last time we’re meeting each other. When we meet in the future, let’s act like we’re never a thing at all, Jae. I wanna learn to forget you the way you forget me.”

“I don’t forge—“ He wanted to tell you how much he wanted to come back to you, but he realized it’s too much to ask from you. “Never mind, I understand,” he finally accepted his defeat.

“Goodbye, Jae.” You kissed his cheek for one last time and entered the car. Jaehyun then waited for your car to disappear completely from his sight.

I guess she didn’t want to give me the supporting role either.

He heaved a sigh before walking to his car with a heavy heart. The sun was still high in the sky, but he really needed to meet his best friend: Alcohol.

“So you’re now working with your ex-fucking-girlfriend, huh?” Lee Miso, the least person Jaehyun wanted to meet at that moment, was already waiting for him beside his car. She crossed her arms in front of her chest while leaning against his car’s door.

“So you really put tracker on my phone, huh?” Jaehyun walked pass Miso to enter the car, but she stopped Jaehyun midway.

“You lied, Jae.”

Jaehyun forcefully hit the car’s hood with his bare hand until the sound shocked everyone around, “Use your fuckin’ brain, Miso. I cheated in my previous relationship. And I cheated with you.” Jaehyun pointed his forefinger at Miso’s forehead while emphasizing the word you. “And now you’re right here, standing in front of me, thinking that I’ll stay loyal to you? Are you dumb?’

“But we’re getting married, Jae…” Miso started sobbing, but Jaehyun didn’t give a damn.

I never write my NCT contents under different account. Please let me know if you happen to see my works being copied/upoaded/translated in another account. Also, I don’t allow re-production/re-upload/translation of my works.

Currently accepting ideas, but not taking request.

[F] Fluff [A] Angst [G] General [S] Series

[Y.A] Young Adult Romance

[CH] College/High School Romance

Relationship, revealed: Taeyong [G]

"I can't marry someone who cheats": [Here] [F]

Above Our Sheets [YA]

“Why are you lying to me?” [A]

Continuous

Child name: Lee Yura

Continuous: Cost of Recklessness

Awarding Night [F]

Handling Jealous Yura [F]

Dentist Visit [F]

Last Chocolate [G]

Relationship, revealed: Jaehyun [F]

Veterinarian!Jaehyun [F]

Series

(y)our wedding [A]

It’s all started on your 24th birthday

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

Continuous

Child name: Jung Mina & Jung Minki

Pregnancy Announcement [F]

IKEA Date [F]

P.1: "Your kids need their father, Jae!" [A] P.2 : Title Song

Jaehyun’s Diary [F]

Dad!NCT Universe

Child Name: Nakamoto Kaito

A Day Without Mom [G]

A Man Can Be Everything, Kaito. [F]

Dad!NCT Universe

Child Name: Myla Lee

Labor Room Tragedy [F]

Glimpses of mark as a new dad [F]

Uncle Jungwoo [G]

The Uncles [G]

Myla by Mark Lee [G]

Supermark Returns 

“Should We Continue Our Relationship?”: [8:37 pm] [A]

“Let’s Come Here Together Next Winter”: [Here] [F] [A]

Relationship, revealed: Johnny

Dad!NCT Universe

Children Name: Seo Yoonjae, Unnamed Daughter

First time parents [A] [F]

I Don’t Wanna Have A Sister, Dad! [F]

“I’m tired of smiling”: [2:19 pm] [A]

Relationship, revealed: Doyoung [G]

Dad!NCT Universe

Children Name: Kim Harin (Step Daughter)

Harin’s First Date [F]

Father’s Day

May I Taste You? [M]

I never write my NCT contents under different account. Please let me know if you happen to see my works being copied/upoaded/translated in another account. Also, I don’t allow re-production/re-upload/translation of my works.

Currently accepting ideas, but not taking request.

[F] Fluff [A] Angst [G] General [S] Series 

[Y.A] Young Adult Romance

[CH] College/High School Romance

“The Affectionless Guy” : [9:12 am] | [2:05 pm]

Dad!NCT Universe

Child Name: Dong Qinyang

Does she eat a lot?

Best New Actor: Dong Sicheng

“On Your Menstruation Day” [10:12 am] - G

You may want to marry my wife [Fluff but Angst]

Mystery of Love

Dad!NCT Universe

Child Name: Achara Leechaiyapornkul

June’s Art Performance [F] | June’s Poem

June’s New Hair Color

“I can make my own song” : P.1 [3:18 am] | The Song

Series

Disclosure

Journalist!Hendery is willing to do anything for promotion

Coming soon

Now He’s Smiling

“I’ll Teach You about MCU” : [1:45 pm]

Dad!NCT Universe

Money Education

Genre: Angst

Length: 1.2k words

Warning: Nothing

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun & Female Reader

Summary: Someone Like You, That Should Be Me, When The Party’s Over

Backstory: P.1 [11:07 pm] | P.2 [9:40 pm] | P.3 | Epilogue

“We’ll set the under eye concealer and… perfect.” Your best friend, Ara, blew the powder residue from your face and then put back the brush into your makeup pouch. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, Great! No more trace of three nights of non-stop crying.

“Never, ever, cry in front of him!” She cupped your face so you could look at her properly, “Keep those tears for the sad karaoke hour after this, Okay?”

“Of course, Bubs! There’s no pain this girl can’t handle,”

I wish.