EASEMEINTOEMPTY

i’m always like “i can’t wait to feel good and confident and grow into the best, healthiest version of me!!!!!” while doing horrible acts of self sabotage like girl it doesn’t work like that u are pressing the gas and break at the same time stop it

a lot of people in the r/antiwork have renamed it ‘acting your wage’ which is an excellent way to frame it

It hurts, but she's right and I respect her for it

my new favorite chick

i love ignoring things….. people…. problems …. responsibilities……feelings…..

this next cup of coffee will fix me

im worse now

if you work retail long enough i think you should be given license to kill 

addendum: during holiday season they give the entire staff a machete regardless of how long they’ve worked retail and whatever happens, happens

The onion is going to get banned from Twitter

Person with a mullet wearing a muscle shirt in a garage: You might think these are some normal cowboy boots, they ain’t. These are boot scooters. [Takes wheels out of dusty boots and stomps them on the ground] If you ain’t bootin’…You ain’t scootin’. [wheels away and runs into a fridge]

It’s very important to know that when he runs into the fridge, the ceiling light turns on

I ain't taking any risks with no penis curses...

I could give two fucks about a penis course; I’m not missing out on fucking a wizard