it's too cliche

Oh! Are you alright?

Only thing hurt is my pride, doll face. Let's hope you were the only one to catch that fall, I don't think my pride'll be able to handle a hit like that again.

“Ugh, Americans do not know food at all.”

Expecting an American to know cuisine is like expecting a sorority girl to read Voltaire. They're a diamond in the rough. Practically nonexistent. 

"Alright, I took the quiz, and as it turns out, I do put my career before men."

Bravo, bravo. A strong independent woman like yourself is a rare find.

I know that you’ve missed me, but if you continue to stare at me, I’m going to find it a little odd. 

Who says that either of those apply?

Now, now, that all depends. What's in it for me?

Why not both?

What the fuck happened to you?

I doubt they'll come back for seconds, if that's what you're worried about.

“Oh dear—are you alright?”

Do I look alright to you?

"Damn. Who got to you? Should I see the other guy?"

No one of interest, sadly. And I guess that all depends on if you like seeing grown men cry.

“Woah—please tell me you did a number on the other guy.”

I guess that depends on your definition of "did a number," doesn't it?

I don't speak farm hick, sorry. You'll have to repeat yourself in English.

What the fuck happened to you?

And you care because?