hey what would happen if Joe Biden just straight up died rn. like that isn't even meant to be a joke or funny like what would happen. what would the DNC do. can you even imagine the fucking chaos? the insanity of that? would they back Bernie? they wouldn't, right? they'd probably accuse him of a warcrime. or of killing Biden. how long would it take for people to start thinking Bernie had him taken out? he would have a giant funeral and everyone would be like "he was such a hero he was a true martyr..." and a few people would be like "hey remember when he was against racial desegragation" and those people would be burned at the stake. meanwhile a twitter campaign would go around trying to elevate Joe Biden to sainthood and it would get so much attention that they would actually manage to get in contact with the actual Pope, only for him to be like "uh... no" and people would start a fucking riot. people would travel to the vatican and throw garbage and riot. eventually these protestors realize there is strength in numbers and they manage to convince a large population of the vatican-area in Italy to abandon Catholicism in favor of a new Christian sect, Bidenism. some of the religious guidelines include Liberated Baptism, which means you can baptize someone in any fluid you like, Competitive Bible Eating (which helps you internalize the Word of God better), and mild incest. the sect loses much popularity after 7 years but actually dies out after a surprisingly-long 440 years, give-or-take. future archeologists only get reminents of the church's beliefs, and they are mistakingly believed to be the originators of an ancient social justice movement known as "White Feminism". Liberated Baptism is still practiced in other sects
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