Professional Mess

I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU

Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs

IN A SCARY WAY

Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!

I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gift shopping for younger cousins is so scary like I want to be cool. but not seem clingy. or seem distant. but I want them to know that I care about them so so much and I am always here if they need someone to talk to. and also we only see each other like once a year. but I held them when they were babies and saw them grow up and I Want Them To Know I Care So So Much,

how do I let this middle schooler know id die for them on a $20 budget

they're mine

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

interesting dates on this post

those aren’t dates, they are explicitly stated to be cranberries

i talk about transitioning and all anyone ever says is "I hope you don't regret it" what if instead we said I hope you love it. I hope it's everything you ever wanted. I hope you live the rest of your life in utter bliss. etc etc.

I hope you transition and I hope it's the best thing you ever did and I hope you never look back and I hope you finally feel comfortable in your own skin

having your own money is fucking dangerous because the only person stopping me from buying whatever I want is myself. and myself has bad judgment sometimes

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

The problem with having OCs is that sometimes you wanna read about your little guy being in situations but unfortunately he is YOUR little guy and no one is gonna put him in that situation but you. Tragic.