Everything's Better With Ice Cream

He hasn't been the same since saying good night. He's since been laying there for hours in the dark, not looking or hearing... Sometimes I hear him shuffle slightly.

its kind of wild how you meet people and then like a month passes and they're your friends. literally how did that happen. i feel like ive known you forever but there was a time where you had to ask me my name

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

i’m having an edging party but none of you can come

this email could have been a threesome

i have a bunch of disgusting ideas if anyone's interested

Unfortunately I am yearning.

Are you muppet jokering me right now

Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook