a throwaway

I fucking hate you. I wish I could love the version of you that should have existed.

I want it to be winter again

it hurts. it should hurt more.

head hurts :(

One thing I did not wish to wake up to at 8 in the morning is all three of my cats around the fireplace, with a bird trapped inside of it. Again. This is like the tenth bird to have done this. These birds are so goddamn stupid why do they keep falling down my chimney istg

I wanna do things that would probably make people worry about me

something so nice about overcast days. maybe it’s the melancholic feeling I get from them.

yay I finished something for once

I wonder if any of them would notice

I don’t want to get better because if I do get better I’ll start to fear mortality and death. And I don’t know if I can handle that anxiety for the rest of my life

I never know what to do with myself after I finish a short term project. Like I just finished a painting and I genuinely don’t know what to do next, I’m just sitting here. It’s too early for bed and too late to start another project.

I like having a blog with no following or interaction because it’s like posting into the void and then I get spooked whenever someone interacts with my posts like wow. forgot this is real and public lmao

Feels like it’s just been day after day. not necessarily bad days. just very tiring ones.

What’s with parents of teenagers wanting their kid to have a social life and then get upset when they have to drive their kid to the social events because their teen doesn’t have a drivers license and can’t walk there.