My five year old: why are there so many tall ones
Me: those are all her kids buddy. She had all those kids.
Him: why?
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@wintertidechild
My five year old: why are there so many tall ones
Me: those are all her kids buddy. She had all those kids.
Him: why?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
January - June 2020:
July - December 2020:
LGBT+ PRIDE (â´â˝`â)*â˛ďž*
yâall whoâs this (wrong answers only)
Nedâs Declassified: School Survival Guide

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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âInstead of seeing yourself as an empty vessel who is filled up, drop by drop, with your achievements, you need to begin to recognize your intrinsic worth as a human being. This means that you begin to entertain the idea that you are already enough just the way you are. You do not need to achieve anything in order to be of value. Your inner critic would have you believe that you have no intrinsic value, that we are born empty with only the potential for becoming someone worthwhile. But you were born with a tremendous amount of goodness, wisdom, and strength.â
â Beverly Engel. Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame (via weltenwellen)
Now I be like âoh fuck i forgot my maskâ like im spiderman or something
âHow beautiful to find a heart that loves you, without asking you for anything, but to be okay.â
â Khalil Gibran (via bnmxfld)
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aww. missing this đĽ°
we rlly went from 20gayteen to 20biteen to 20quarantine
fun fact: the word quarantine comes from quarantena, meaning âforty daysâ, used in 14th-15th-century Venetian language (the period that all ships were required to be isolated before passengers and crew could go ashore during the Black Death plague)
so 2020, or 20 + 20 = quarantine
dammit, we shouldâve seen this coming
well you know what they say about hindsight

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the internet is so cursed, when people look back on the history of covid-19 it's going to look so different from the history of the plague because we will have left a trace of quarantine playlists all featuring toxic by brittany spears
That is why Toxic becomes an ancient earth ballad.
#walk into the club like âwhat up i got a big...crush on you please like me backâ
Tell me if I got this right

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jaskier: Can I get a âheck yeahâ?
geralt: fuck no
jaskier: Close enough!
going back to option 5
Jaskier: hey Geralt do you dare me to drink this random potion I found in this ruined castle
Geralt: no.
Jaskier, uncorking the bottle: haha this is so fucked up I canât believe youâre daring me to do this
Geralt: do not drink that
Jaskier: *chugging it*
Geralt: do you have a death wish
Jaskier: *finishes the potion* âŚ
Geralt: âŚ
Jaskier: eh, didnât do anything. I guess itâs expired.
*like 50 years later*
Yennefer: how the fuck are you still alive and also still thirty
Jaskier: what
*after ruling out every ââânormalâââ reason a person might stop again*
Jaskier: oh, hereâs a thought. remember that time you dared me to drink that potion I found?
Geralt: I didnât dare you to drink it
Jaskier: maybe this is what it did!
Geralt: âŚâŚ..plausible
Yennefer: what kind of potion was it?
Jaskier: no idea. no label on the bottle.
Yennefer: then why did you drink it??
Jaskier: Geralt dared me to
Geralt: not only did I not dare you to drink it, I specifically told you not to
Jaskier: well evidently you and I remember this incident very differently
Geralt: Iâm right.
Yennefer: where did you get it?
Jaskier: found it lying around in a ruined castle
Yennefer: do you have a death wish???
Geralt: thatâs what I said
Yennefer: what did it taste like
Jaskier: gross.
Yennefer: that doesnât narrow it down
Jaskier: didnât expect it to
Geralt: anyway this shows why you shouldnât drink random potions you find in ruined castles
Jaskier: hmmm does it though? I think it shows the opposite actually
Jaskier: on account of Iâd be really old or dead now if I hadnât :)
Yennefer: he has a point
Geralt: no he doesnât