random angsty widow au thought: reader having really severe postpartum depression after babygirl is born, made even worse by the fact that she’s grieving baelor. she loves her daughter more than anything, but babygirl is colicky and cries constantly and reader is exhausted. she keeps feeding her, rocking her, soothing her, doing everything she can think of, and nothing seems to work. then she gets frustrated because she’s tired and overwhelmed, which immediately makes her feel guilty because what kind of mother gets frustrated with her baby?
and then dunk comes in and somehow gets babygirl to calm down almost instantly. and instead of being relieved, reader just starts crying because what is she doing wrong? why does he understand her own child better than she does? and in the middle of all that she ends up saying something awful like you aren’t even her dad, or baelor should be here, and then immediately starts apologizing because she doesn’t mean it. meanwhile dunk is not angry in the slightest, he’s just worried about her.
he just sits down beside her and holds her while she cries. when she starts apologizing he keeps telling her it’s okay and that she doesn’t need to apologize. he makes her something to drink, gets her to eat a little, convinces her to go lie down for a few hours, and practically has to pry babygirl out of her arms because she feels guilty leaving her. then he spends the rest of the afternoon taking care of the baby while reader finally gets some sleep. also dunk is constantly worried about her. he’s reading everything he can get his hands on about postpartum depression, asking people for advice, keeping an eye on whether she’s eating and sleeping, and arranging for rowan to watch babygirl for a day so he can get reader out of the house.
they spend the day wandering around the city, stopping for food, chatting about random things, and slowly falling back into the easy rhythm they used to have before everything happened. and reader slowly realizing how much she loves him and thinking that maybe, just maybe, everything is going to be okay.
YUP! reader struggling because she doesn't really have a great blueprint for motherhood in the first place, and she thought she'd have baelor to rely on and now he's gone. and dunk's perfect and natural with babygirl which should make her feel better, but if he can handle a baby with zero experience then why can't she?
and why can't she get her own daughter to stop crying? why does it seem like babygirl hates her? why can't she manage to sleep even though she's viscerally exhausted, because she keeps hovering in the nursery watching babygirl's breathing, paranoid that something bad will happen if she walks away? why does every day feel like a losing battle?
actually and this leads me to this concept from @elviraghoul which i've been sitting on bc it's so fucking juicy and i think there's a trajectory here
anyways tldr reader's gonna funnel months of ppd rage at maekar who lowkey still loves her and thought that maybe there was a chance they could be together and he could atone for baelor's death by loving her and babygirl enough
also i know i know widow au is angst central but i'm an angst lover at my core, i'm giving tloyl a happy ending so can we call that a fair exchange pls
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