pious, devout and charmingâ your knight is hopelessly in love more than ever when you are expecting your first child! however, not everything is smooth sailing...
genre/warnings:
suggestive, pregnancy, lots of romance, arguments, hurt/comfort, brief description of childbirth, sunshine!gwayne and grumpy!reader, targaryen!reader (reader is rhaenyra's younger sister), spoilers! from house of the dragon season 1 and 3
notes:
gif by @/baelcrtargaryen. just gwayne being a protective husband <3 sigh he's so delectable i want to eat him
Despite how your marital bed was rarely cold and the frequency of your nightly activities, it had actually taken you years to conceive a child.
It had come as a blessing because you adored children and Gwayne, who was so fond of his nephew Daeron and had watched him grow up, had hoped for the day you would bear a child of his own to love wholeheartedlyâ
âYou are... truly? A childâŠ?â
And now, that day is finally here.
The brilliant blue of his eyes shone the moment the words left your lips, unblinking, afraid if he had misheard.
But when sweet, ethereal you nodded with the brightest of smiles, he himself was come undone, a breathless, boyish smile breaking across his face then.
âThis isâ oh, most splendid newsâ!â
Gwayne couldnât help himselfâ he pulled you into his arms and into a searing kiss. It was full of pure, unfiltered giddiness, the kind that had him laughing softly against your lips, tasting of boundless joy.
âOh, Gwayne...â you sighed into him, relief washed over you at how elated he was. You were so blessed to have a man as kind as he was as a husband.
He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing your cheeks as his eyes bored into yours.
âI love you. I love you. I swear to you and the Seven above, I will do everything in my power to protect both you and our child.â
If he had loved you deeply before, he was entirely besotted now. In the moons that followed, everything blurred into pure bliss.
To Gwayne, you were akin to a Valyrian goddess, and he was nothing less than your sworn swordâ you could do no wrong, and your word was his absolute law.
And mayhaps those old midwivesâ tales held truth, or you were just taking immaculate care of yourself. Then again, chances were higher that he was a simple fool blinded by love, but Gwayne could have sworn... ever since then, you were glowing.
Your smile seemed sweeter now, and the way you would place a hand on your growing belly out of instinct was adorable. The fact that you carried his child, and the radiant joy it brought to your eyes never failed to leave him weak in the kneesâ
âbecause even the Gods know he loves you so damned much.
âThe Princess⊠she is absolutely radiant, is she not?â
And as it turned out, he wasnât the only one who had noticed.
The rank-and-file soldiers were in the middle of their daily drills when you passed by the courtyard. A sudden breeze swept through, catching the silk of your gown and sending a few stray locks of your hair dancing across your face. It was a picture of effortless graceâ and, to a yard full of sweat-drenched men, an absolute sight for sore eyes.
A pair of low-ranking footmen at the back of the line completely forgot their footwork, utterly spellbound.
âAye,â the second one murmured, his eyes wide and completely glazed over as he watched you walk. âLike a maiden stepping right out of a tapestry...â
Gwayneâs head snapped toward them, the warm smile he had been wearing just a heartbeat prior vanishing in an instant.
âYou there!â he barked, his voice ringing across the cobblestones.
The two footmen jumped and turned to him, faces instantly draining of color. Gwayne strode toward them, his chest puffed out, putting on the airs of a proud and arrogant knight.
âUnless you expect the Princess to wield a blade in your stead, I suggest you keep your eyes on your opponent.â
âY-Yes, sireââ
Hmph. Now they were cowering before him. How did they forget whose wife they had been ogling just now?
âTen more laps around the yard,â Gwayne commanded to their dismay, his eyes cold as he lifted his chin up. âAnd if I catch your eyes wandering from your duties again, I will personally pluck your eyes out and ensure you spend your next rotation cleaning Ormundâs chambers... Now move!â
As the panicked footmen scrambled to begin their laps, Gwayne threw them a dirty look, bridled with utter satisfaction.
He turned back toward where you stood, expecting to find you continuing on your way, blissfully unaware. Instead, he found you standing still, watching the entire exchange with an amused sparkle in your eyesâ a delicate hand to your lips to hide your giggle.
Gwayneâs haughty expression crumbled. A flustered flush crept rapidly up his neck, staining his cheeks a dusty pink. Suddenly acutely self-conscious of how loud he had been, he cleared his throat and blinked several times, shifting his weight from one boot to the other.
He offered you a sheepish frown, his eyes pleading for you not to tease him too much when you were finally behind closed doors.
. . .
âWhat has displeased you, hm, husband?â
Gwayne had just stepped out of the bath, his dark hair still damp and curling against his neck, sleepiness softening his usually sharp features as he took his side of the bed. He wore only a loose, simple linen robe, tied haphazardly at his waist.
âHm...?â he mumbled, mid-yawn, as he turned to you.
However, his sleep-addled mind was entirely unprepared for the sight of you.
Seven save me, he thought, his throat suddenly dry. There you were, a gorgeous temptress intent to ruin him in your... what was that? An almost see-through loose night gown?
You didnât wait for him to answer. Instead, you slithered onto his lap, straddling his thighs. Gwayneâs hands instinctively flew to your waist to steady you, his touch warm as you draped both of your hands over his broad shoulders.
âI only ask,â you murmured teasingly, leaning in close enough that your breath fanned over his lips, âbecause you looked ready to torment two perfectly well-behaved footmen today. Over a harmless glance.â
Gwayne let out a low, rumbling groan, his eyelids fluttering half-closed as he looked up at you.
âThey were staring,â he replied in defense. His gaze drifted down your form, lingering on the widening of your hips where his child now grew. âRather boldly, Iâd say. They should use their ungrateful eyes to look at their targets, not at my wife. Not when you are... like this.â
You tilted your head in a mock cluelessness. âLike what?â
âRavishing,â he breathed, his bright blue eyes meeting yours as his grip tightening on your hips. âBreathtaking. Mine.â
The possessiveness in his voice sent a thrill through you. Leaning up, he captured you mouth in a slow, deeply sensual kiss. You parted your lips instantly to welcome himâ and he tasted of mint and warm water.
âMmhm... ah...â The kiss deepened, growing heavier and more desperate by the second. Your hands slid from his shoulders to wrap around the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his damp hair.
Unable to help yourself, you shifted your weight, slowly and deliberately grinding your hips against his lap.
Gwayne let out a ragged gasp against your mouth. The friction of your body against his through the thin linen of his robe sent a shiver through his spine, his hands clenching tightly onto your hips to guide the rhythm. His skin was a feverish contrast to the cool night air of the room, as he hardened rapidly against you, consumed by the weight of your warmth pressing so directly into his groinâ
âDamn...â He kissed you fiercely now, his tongue tangling with yours as you continued to pressed him, humping him with an intoxicating persistence that had him trembling beneath you.
But just as the heat in the room threatened to boil over, Gwayne suddenly stilled you, gently but firmly halting your movements.
He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours as his chest heaved, his breathing shallow and labored. His blue eyes, dark with heavy desire, searched your face.
âNo, darling, we must stop,â he panted, his voice thick. He swallowed, his thumbs brushing soothingly against the side of your abdomen. âI love you more than my own life, but I will not risk the babe. As much as this tortures me... this is as far as I am willing to indulge us tonight.â
You let out a soft whine, resting your chin on his shoulder. You knew he was only acting out of a protective love for you and the child you carried, but the warmth of him was far too addictive to let go of just yet.
âVery well,â you murmured against his neck, nipping softly at his pulse point. âBut I have one request.â
Gwayne let out a breathless chuckle, his hands tracing the curve of your spine. âAnything. You know you have only to ask.â
âTake off your robe,â you petulantly poked his chest. âI want to feel your skin against mine while we sleep.â
âA wanton through and though,â he snorted.
âThe babe demands it.â
A hopelessly devoted smile broke across Gwayneâs face. âA punishment and a reward all at once, then.â
Without another word, he obliged. Untying the sash, he shrugged the linen robe off his shoulders. He pulled you back down against him, tucking you securely under the velvet blankets. His toned body was solid, warm, and his skin was surprisingly soft to the touchâ a comforting weight you could never tire of.
Pressing a tender kiss to the crown of your head, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, his bare chest warm against your back, his hand resting protectively over your stomach as you both drifted off to sleep.
Days and weeks drifted by, and soon, the weight of your belly could no longer be hidden beneath your dresses.
By all accounts, your life was a blissful one. You had a husband who worshipped the ground you walked on, and you were counting the days until you could finally hold the child you had been waiting for. Even for a princess of the Seven Kingdoms, it was the kind of fairy tale most could only dream of.
Still, even the most beautiful tapestries have frayed edges, do they not?
Though Gwayneâs devotion was sweeter than words could say, his constant hovering these days had begun to feel like... a suffocation.
The tipping point had come on a morning when a sharp, fleeting cramp had made you wince. He had been the one who went pale, immediately ushering you back toward the bed.
âYou must lie down,â he had insisted, his voice tight with worry. âI will have the maester brew something. No more walking today.â
âGwayne, it was a momentary ache, nothing more,â you had sighed. âI cannot spend the next two moons staring at the canopy of this bed.â
But he would frown and your heart would lurch, seeing his pure concern for you.
âFor my own peace of mind and for the babe, please?â
His fretfulness felt like a velvet cage, even when you knew it came from a place of pure love.
. . .
In a rare event in which you finally managed to slip away while he was distracted with other things, you retreated to the sanctuary of the gardens, the cool breeze a welcome relief against your skin.
But your quiet peace was short-lived.
As you rounded a stone archway, you caught sight of a figure cowering behind a massive marble pillar, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
âDaeron...?â you murmured in surprise, stepping closer.
The youngest of Alicentâs three sons and a ward of Oldtown, the young prince was unlike his misguided brothers, and you had known him to be a gentle and sensitive soul, even as a child. Now five and ten, he was thrust into the grueling world of knighthood, all under the watchful eye of your husbandâs cousin.
The young boy gasped, hastily wiping his tear-streaked cheeks with the back of his sleeve as he stood.
âY-Your Grace,â he stammered, his voice thick as he tried to put on a brave face. âForgive me. I... I did not hear you approach.â
âWhat is it, sweet boy? Why are you crying?â you gently took his hands, feeling your heart twinge at the sight of his tears.
A skepticism settled in your chest. You had seen how Ormund Hightower conducted himselfâ and you highly doubted his patience with a sensitive young boy.
âHas he been too harsh with you during your lessons?â you asked gently.
Daeron vigorously shook his head, his eyes wide with fear of causing trouble. âNo! No, my lord is... he is only doing what is right. It is my fault for I have failed to meet his expectations.â
That arrogant, demanding windbag, you thought bitterly. To place such crushing weight on a childâs shoulders was reprehensible, and you fully intended to have a very pointed, very unpleasant word with Ormund Hightower later.
But for now, your only concern was the boy before you. Taking Daeronâs hand in yours, you offered him a warm, reassuring smile.
âVery well, if you said so... Now, come with me. Let me show you your uncleâs new collection of swords. He truly can never have too many, or so he claims.â
Your attempt to cheer him up was working. Daeronâs frown was replaced with pure joy as you showed him around Gwayneâs hidden stash of blades, and by the end of the day, he was laughing along with you.
âWhen will the babe come, Auntie?â he asked, looking up at you with a genuine smile. It slipped out so naturally he didnât even notice he had reverted to that fond title he used to call you years ago.
âSoon. Mayhaps in six weeks or so.â You patted your swollen belly, and the young princeâs eyes followed your hand, before cautiously placing his palm over the curve.
In that very moment, the child gave him a firm kick, and he gasped, his blue eyes widened in wonder.
âIn awe, are you?â you laughed softly, gently ruffling his hair. âTruthfully, sometimes I still wonder how there is a whole living human inside me, too.â
But he didnât laugh, nor did he pull his hand away. Instead, he looked up at you, his features settling into an earnestness.
âIf it is a girl... I promise I will protect her,â he declared solemnly. âI will grow strong enough so that no one can ever hurt her. I will be her champion.â
Your heart swelled at his words, a lump forming in your throat at the purity of his devotion. In certain lights, he did look like Gwayne.
âI have no doubt you will be the finest champion a girl could ever ask for, Daeron.â
. . .
âWhere were you?â
You had only just returned to your bedchambers after quietly escorting Daeron back to his quarters, and the very first thing that greeted you was your husbandâs scathing tone.
Gwayne stood near the hearth, his jaw tight and his shoulders rigid. His usually warm eyes were clouded with a coldness you rarely saw in him.
âI have been searching everywhere for you,â he stated, his voice thick with suppressed irritation. âYou vanished without even telling any of your maidsââ
âI was just in the gardensââ you said, your voice already tight with exhaustion, but he cared not of what you had to say in defense.
âDo you have any idea what went through my head? You are weeks away from labor, youâve been having cramps, andââ
This had been going on for a while, and honestly, a headache was forming in the back of your head. The accusation, piled on top of days of feeling watched and managed, finally broke the last dam of your patienceâ
âCan you just... not?!â
You followed the impulse in your chest to yell, the volume of your voice echoing sharply.
âI am sick and tired of being treated as if I am an invalid!â you cried, your chest heaving as tears of pure frustration pricked the corners of your eyes. âI cannot take a single step, look out a window, or even have a quiet moment to myself without you hovering over me like a warden!â
It felt satisfying to let this go, but then you looked at him, andâ
Immediately you regretted raising your voice. Gwayne looked as though you had struck him across the face.
The worry in his eyes shattered into heartbreak, his shoulder slumping. His lips wobbled, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before he forced himself to look back up at you.
âI...â his voice cracked. âI am sorry. I did notâ I never wished to make you feel like a prisoner. Or to make you feel sick.â
You parted your lips, immense guilt overwhelming you at the sight of him. âGwayne, Iââ
âYou are right, I have been way overbearing as of late,â he nodded somberly, his eyes kept drifting from your formâ forcing the words out.
âI selfishly thought that since itâs our first child, I have to do everything to ensure your comfort... but in my own misguided sense of... righteousnessâ I failed to consider how you might feel.â
He offered you a small, bittersweet smileâone that didnât quite reach his eyes, which were shining with unshed tears.
âTonight, I will leave you to your peace and not disturb you, I promise.â
Your heart clenched when he backtracked towards the door. Just before he reached for the latch, he paused, his eyes softening at you with that same, hopeless devotion.
âBut if you should ever need anythingâ a glass of water, a blanket, or... or if the pain returns... please, tell me. Let me do that much for you.â
Gwayne had stood by his word. Ever since then, there was a subtle distance between the two of you.
True to his promise, he no longer invaded your privacy, but his frequent absences made you incredibly antsy. The irony of the situation wasnât lost on youâ for weeks, you had begged for space, but now that you had it, you found yourself restlessly searching the corridors for a glimpse of him.
You craved his warmth. You wanted his solid, comforting embrace, because an unsettling gut feeling had taken root in your chestâa dark intuition that something was amiss, though you couldnât put your finger on it.
Seeking a distraction to soothe yourself, you decided to spend the afternoon in the gardens, but the the summer heat only drained your strength, leaving you uncomfortable.
Deciding you had pushed yourself far too much, you turned to your handmaiden.
âAccompany me back to my chambers,â you instructed softly. âI think I need to lie down.â
As you made your way back, your path took you past the oak doors of Ormund Hightowerâs private study.
You would have walked right past it, had a certain voice not drifted through the slightly ajar door, freezing the blood in your veins.
âSo the King is truly poor in health?â Ormundâs voice echoed from within, entirely devoid of any grief. âI would wager he will soon perish from whatever ailment he is suffering. We must ensure our pieces are perfectly placed on the board the moment he does.â
Your breath hitched. You stood entirely paralyzed, the maid stopping beside you with wide, frightened eyes.
The King. Your father.
You knew Viserys had not been in best health since the last you saw him, but to hear Ormund speak of his imminent death with such casual certainty sent a jolt of panic straight to your heart.
If he died, this fragile peace would shatter. The greens and the blacks would tear the realm apartâ
âand both you and Gwayne would be caught right in the center of the storm.
Panic clawing at your throat, you didnât wait to hear another word. You gathered your skirts and hurried down the hall as fast as your body would allow. Your heart hammered violently against your ribs as the sheer weight of what this meant crashing down on youâ
But just as you were about to reach your bedchamber, a sudden spasm of pain ripped through your lower abdomen, so intense it stole the air straight from your lungsâ
âYour Grace!â your handmaiden cried.
It wasnât the fleeting, mild cramps from beforeâ this was a white-hot, tearing contraction that buckled your knees. A cry of agony escaped your lips as you leaned sideways, your hands clutching the curve of your belly as you sank onto the cold floor.
You gasped for breath, but another wave of agonizing pressure rolled over you. The hallway began to tilt precariously, and trembling, you reached blindly down inside your dress when you felt warmth trickling down your thighsâ and the sight made your heart stop.
Your fingers were stained a slick crimson. Blood.
A cold dread seized you as your head spun. No, you thought desperately, not the babe. Please, not the babe.
Your vision swam violently, but just as you were losing the last threads of your consciousness, you heard shouts of your name and a strong pair of arms hauled you into his embrace.
Gwayne Hightower. The man who had your heart since you were but a young girl. The man who was besotted enough to court you despite your rejections of him.
He always, always managed to be your knight in shining armor.
He was on his knees beside you, his face completely drained of color, his blue eyes wide with a frantic terror you had never seen in him before.
You could no longer hear the words tearing from his throat, but as the world faded entirely to black, a profound comfort washed over youâ
If he is here, then I am safe.
âHow did this happen...?â
Your consciousness faded in and out, but you heard bits and pieces.
Gwayne was questioning the maester with his voice cracking more times than not. You knew he was near you as you could feel the constant warmth of his hands gripping yours, trying to pull you back to the surface.
âOh, my darling,â he whispered against your ear at one point, almost in tears. âIâm sorry. Iâm so, so sorry... I should have been there. I should have never left your side.â
When you finally managed to flutter your eyelids open hours later, the morning sun was filtering through the curtains of your bedchamber. The blinding pain in your abdomen had ebbed into a dull ache.
You tried to shift, a faint groan escaping your dry throat, and immediately felt a weight resting against the edge of the mattress.
Turning your head slowly, you found Gwayne.
He was collapsed in a miserable position on a small wooden stool right beside your bed. His legs were awkwardly bent, one of his arms slung over the mattress to keep his fingers intertwined with yours, while his forehead rested against the edge of the sheets. He was still wearing the same doublet from yesterday, now wrinkled, and his hair was a mess.
Even in sleep, his brow furrowed as though he was having a bad dreamâ the very sight of a man who had spent the night burning himself alive with worry.
Your heart squeezed with a aching tenderness at the sight of him. Ignoring the dull throb in your body, you weakly squeezed his hand, your thumb gently brushing over his knuckles to wake him.
At your touch, he was roused awake. Gwayne sat up instantly, his head snapping up as a ragged breath caught in his throat. His eyesâbloodshotâscanned the bed frantically until they locked onto your open eyes.
âDarling...?â he asked in a hoarse voice, and when you offered him a tired smile, the wall of defense crumbled completely.
He slid off the stool and onto his knees by the bedside as he pressed a kiss on your hand. His broad shoulders shook as a choked, breathless sob escaped him.
âYouâre awake,â he breathed against your skin, peppering your hand with trembling kisses. âGods, youâre awake. I thought... when I saw the blood, I thought I had lost youâ I thought I lost both of you.â
âIsââ you croaked, âour babeââ
âYou are both fine. For now,â he supplied, pressing one last kiss on the back of your hand before he straightened himself. He let go of you to sit on the edge of the mattress, slipping his strong arm behind your back to gently lift you so you could drink.
Once you swallowed the cool water and sat comfortably, he set the cup down and placed his large hand gently over your belly. A bitter smile broke through his exhaustion when he felt his child kick him.
âCan you just... let me stay near?â he asked then, his blue eyes shone with tears. âI canât survive a repeat of what I just went through yesterday. If something were to happen to you and I wasnât there, it would tear the soul right out of me.â
Despite everything, he had all rights to be furious at you. And yet, here he wasâ humbly asking for your permission to stay by your side.
Your eyes welled with tears, and you reached out for him blindly. You buried your face into his chest, your hands desperately clutching at the fabric of his wrinkled doublet. He pulled you in instantly, wrapping his strong arms around you and rocking you gently, murmuring soothing sounds against your hair.
âIâm... Iâm sorry,â you choked out, your entire frame trembling with the force of your sobs. âI... I was carelessââ
âShh, donât be,â he shushed, tightening his embrace on you, and you cried harder.
You wept until you had no tears to spare, and when you finally pulled away, you looked up at him through swollen, heavy eyelids.
You love him so, so much. You adored this kind man and his blue eyes and red hair, and you really wished your child would take after him.
âWhy are you... not angry with me?â you questioned softly, feeling incredibly silly and weighed down by your own guilt.
But Gwayne, as always, only smiled at you, his features softening into that warmth he reserved only for you at your lowest moments. He gently cupped your face, his thumbs wiping away the damp tracks on your cheeks.
âI have told you so many times already, how is it that you always forget it?â
His smile grew incredibly tender as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead.
And with his familiar next words, once again, you were reminded once again of what kind of man you had married, and you know exactly how good a father he would be.
âBecause to the end of my days... all that I am is yours.â
Your time had come barely five weeks later.
It was a grueling, agonizing ordeal that seemed to stretch on for eternity. Your cries of pain echoed and bled out of your birthing chambersâ and anyone who passed by would have their heart broken at the sheer anguish in your voice.
Outside in the corridor, Gwayne was, needless to say, beside himself.
Thoroughly banned from the birthing chambers by the stern midwifes and the head maester, he was a man possessed by helpless terror. His hair a disheveled mess from where his frantic fingers had clawed through it, and his knuckles white and raw from being clenched so tightly in either prayers or an attempt to calm himself.
He had been pacing the length of the hallway since the crack of dawn two days ago, and every time one of your strangled screams echoed, Gwayne flinched, his own eyes burning.
He had faced deaths, had stared down charging knights without a tremor in his hand, but thisâlistening to the woman he loved scream in agony while he could do absolutely nothingâwas a torture that was slowly tearing him apart.
Hours bled into one another. The silence that occasionally fell was almost worse than the screams, leaving him breathless with a suffocating dread.
âShe has been in labor for almost two days,â Gwayne rasped, turning to Daeron as if he could soothe his worries. His nephew, though visibly unsettled by your screams, had stayed by his side to offer moral support.
âTwo days, and I cannot even hold her hand.â
Ormund paid a brief visit later that afternoon. His cousin had one look at him and patronizingly suggested he go pray in the Starry Sept to calm his nerves. Gwayneâs temper had flared and was about to throw a punch at Ormundâs face if it werenât for Daeron scrambling to beg him to stand down.
And then, just as he felt he might genuinely lose his mind, a new sound cut through the heavy quiet.
It was a sharp, high-pitched wail. Not yours, but the cry of a newborn babe.
. . .
You thought you would die from the pain alone.
Ever since the terrifying rush of your water breaking, it felt as though your body were being ripped apart from the inside out as you strained and fought to bring forth your child into the world.
And after that one final push that almost had you passed out, the agonizing pressure vanished, replaced by a sudden, hollow lightness and the sweetest of wails.
âIt is a girl!â the midwife announced. âCongratulations, Your Graceâ you have delivered a healthy, beautiful girl!â
When the midwives placed the tiny, weeping newborn onto your chest, your hands instinctively wrapped around her, shielding her from the cold air of the room. You were entirely spent, your skin slick with sweat and your muscles aching and trembling from the afterbirth, yet you couldnât take your eyes off her.
This miracle has just come out of you.
As you gently wiped away a stray smudge from her crown, your heart swelled to the point of bursting.
Her little nose and mouth were endearing and closely resembled yours, however there was no trace of silver hair to be seen. Instead, catching the warm candlelight, were soft tufts of red.
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, thanking the Mother, deeply grateful for how she would not look like a Targaryen.
She is, in every way, Gwayneâs daughterâ a perfect piece of him and yours to keep.
âBloody hellâ just let me in already!â
You heard his voice then, and the smile on your face grew wider. He would be beyond pleased to see this child.
True to your prediction, Gwayne stormed into the room without ceremony a moment later, his eyes instantly locking onto yours. You were in no state to be seenâsweat-drenched, pale, and thoroughly disheveledâand you instinctively wanted to shrink back from his gaze.
Yet, in his eyes, you had never looked more breathtakingly beautiful.
Cradled securely in your trembling arms was a tiny, squirming bundle wrapped in soft linen. And the sight was enough to make him drop to his knees right at the edge of your mattress.
He climbed onto the edge of the bed to pull you gently but firmly into his arms. Hovering over the child he had been eagerly waiting for, Gwayne leaned down and captured your lips in a deep, trembling kiss that tasted of relief and absolute devotion.
âYou did it,â he whispered against your lips, his forehead resting against yours as his breath hitched. âGods...â
Slowly, his gaze drifted downward to the bundle in your arms. The breath left him and he was completely awestruck, his conceit evaporating into nothingness at the sight of this impossibly tiny babe he helped to create.
With a hand that usually swung a steel, Gwayne reached out with unimaginable gentleness. He extended his pinky finger, touching her tiny, flailing handâ
And almost instantly, as if recognizing her protector, the babeâs palm wrapped around his finger, gripping it with everything she had.
âShe, ohââ Gwayne froze, shuddering. He stared at her tiny fingers, and then up at the soft crown of her head, his eyes widening as he registered the tufts of copper-red hair just like his.
Seeing how deeply touched he was, your own eyes welled with happy tears. You nudged him softly, whispering the name you had kept locked in your heart:
âAlyrie. Lady Alyrie of House Hightower.â
His motherâs name. The tears Gwayne had tried so hard to hold back during those agonizing hours of your labor finally spilled over as he turned to you. He let out a wet, choked laugh, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he held both you and Alyrie close to his chest.
âThank you,â he choked out before kissing your temple, then pressing his lips to his daughterâs tiny forehead. âOur sweet Alyrie... She is perfect. You are both so perfect.â
As you looked at the other halves of your soul, the fragile peace of your bedchamber felt like a beautiful dream. Outside these stone walls, the realm was already fracturing as shadow of the dance of the dragons loomed closeâ a tempest of fire, blood, and greed that threatened to consume everyone you held dear.
One thing is sure though... both you and him would lay down your very lives to ensure this precious little girl remained untouched by the ash.
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ser gwayne cannot work out for the life of him why you're acting so strange. you're suddenly too busy for him these days, how you're now very close with his cousin ormund and why even criston cole has been found whispering at your side. alt. reader just wants to throw her husband a surprise name day celebration but gwayne is too nosy, its a good thing he's very pretty and can make up for it.
husband! gwayne x wife! princess! reader, platonic! ormund and cole x reader, daeron x reader (love my boy), jealousy, accusation of cheating (strictly no cheating!), angst. fluff! hurt to comfort! suggestive. sassy! gwayne (i love my king.) bit of a long fic- oopsy sorry! :)
it's been four days since the two of you went to bed together.
every single night gwayne finds himself tangled in your arms, your leg thrown over his hip and your face smushed against his bare chest. he holds you, rocking you gently till your soft snores fill the chamber and only then does he relax and fall asleep himself. its not uncommon for gwayne to arrive at your shared chambers and find you already tucked in, long gone and disorientated. if not for the guard stationed at your door, gwayne wonders how you've even made it alive this long for in this state you could probably sleep through the war and not stir the slightest.
it is however uncommon for it to have been four days since he has last touched your skin, to have you so unraveled beneath his body and set ablaze. he's not complaining exactly, he'd have you in any way, shape or form, however you'd have him. he's at your service for now and for life. it's just so peculiar, he wonders. he tried initiating it on half the nights but you shrugged him off with a peck to his lips and a claim you were fatigued from the day. on the second half, he arrived in the night to find you already plastered and drooling on his half of the bed. it was so endearing that he almost forgot that you've been avoiding him.
the first sign something was so obviously wrong was when his cousin ormund knocked at his door early morning. too early in the morning for you to be awake but yet there you were. gwayne had groaned at the sudden pound at his door and rolled over, trying to reach out to you on instinct. to bury his nose into the nook of your neck and ignore what the world would have in store for him today. yet he was met with rumpled sheets and the faint heat of where your body had lain.
the knocking continued, louder and quicker and gwayne with a grimace curled into his thin pink lips opened the door with pure annoyance, "what?" his snarl comes and the sight of his cousin smirking irritates him further. "what could you possibly want from me at this time, ormund?" he gets out. his arm leans against the door frame opened a fraction, elbow taking the brunt of the solid wood at a right angle as the cool draft from the hallway bites at his bare chest.
"from you, cousin?" ormund grins, "absolutely nothing," and he's all bright teeth and sunshine at this ungodly hour. gwayne's gaze narrows in on him dangerously.
"ormund," he grits out, the free hand not gripping the door to death, runs through his already tousled orange strands, "i'm going to slam this door in hopes it'll take off your nose and i'll never have to see your face whole again," he swears sincerely and ormund knows full well his cousin is capable of it. gwayne has led battles and armies, a little teasing between cousins might as well have ormund at death's door.
"i'm here for the princess," ormund smiles, the ghost of a giggle gracing his lips in a taunt, "we have important matters to discuss."
"what matters?" gwayne straightens.
"none which concern you," ormund instantly deflects, crossing his arms across his broad chest. gwayne wants to reach out and grab him by his lapel but restrains himself with a tired rage.
"i know the concept of a loyal loving marriage may be unfamiliar to you ormind but, she is my wife," gwayne's voice drops to a dangerous level, "any matters concerning her concern me," and at the vibrating timbre of your husband's growl you emerge from the bathroom. freshly bathed, the scent of floral and lemon dancing around your skin as you are dressed in a green gown.
your hands come and creep up on gwayne's back, fingers running across the cool skin with a gracious warmth gently till they tug at the back of his hair. the ends of your hair at still damp, soft waves falling against his skin when he nestles and buries himself into your touch.
"wife," he murmurs, completely disregarding the unwanted visitor at his door and turns in your embrace. arms wrapping around your torso in a bone crushing hug, he sways you as you melt, "i didn't know you graced your company with the likes of idiots," and as ormund scoffs, he presses a kiss to your ear. you roll your eyes and gwayne brings a hand to your neck, cupping your jaw. "come," he mumbles against your mouth, "come back to bed." its a soft order that burns you alive to deny.
"i cannot gwayne," you whisper, running your hands through his hair, "i have some matter of business to sort."
"yes," he murmurs, "it seems i also have some matter of business to conduct as well," and he tries to walk you backwards into your chambers again, his bare feet scuffling as he tries to navigate you whilst half blinded in your lazy kisses.
your hands plant themselves firmly on his chest and pause. "husband, we have a visitor," you press. and gwayne rolls his eyes.
"it is only ormund, you say it as if i'm supposed to have a care if it was the king himself at the door. he is visiting. and now as visitors must do, he must leave," he stresses and ormund chuckles.
"princess," he calls out, "we either leave now or cannot make this happen today," its a warning from ormund, as much as he likes to wind his cousin up, its really time to get moving. ormund hightower is a busy body and you're relieved he had even gotten aboard with your plans, it took much pleading and convincing and in the end, you used your power of the crown to hold him tight in a promise.
you hold gwayne at arms length, hands braced at his mid arms and gaze into his deep sea eyes. theres a brutal mix of annoyance and longing swirling deep and you press a kiss to his cheek softly. your lips linger and hover as he closes his eyes sleepily, savouring your touch. he's distracted for a moment and that's when you press a hasty almost sloppy kiss to the corner of his mouth and step aside before his tired brain can register what's happening.
"have a good day, my love!" you call out, ormund already offering you his arm politely.
"but breakfast?" gwayne almost whines.
"i'll make sure she eats," ormund promises, "in a while, cousin," and the door slams shut. gwayne's brain speeds up and registers whats happening, he's marching over to the door and swings it open but by then you and ormund are long gone.
"what on earth," he mumbles, brows knitted tightly. your stationed guard clears his throat at the sight of near naked gwayne in the biting cold. gwayne has the slightest shame and dips his head awkwardly before shutting the door and making his way back to the covers. its useless, he won't get any sleep without you by his side and in his sight, he sits there waiting for morning to fully make its appearance before he gets ready for the day.
his thoughts occupy him senselessly, if he hadn't opened the door to ormund would you have just left without saying anything? just what could you be hiding from him?
gwayne has a plan, he has to corner and catch you because avoiding him is one thing? sneaking off with ormund before daylight? his cousin ormund who you've frequently voiced your dislike for?
gwayne's plan has a fault of its own. how can he corner you when he has no idea where you are?
he tries to subtlely question daeron during a friendly game of chess. the younger has such a soft spot for you that he halts like a deer in headlights at the mention of your name.
"daeron?" gwayne's brows lift in curiosity, the reaction pausing his thoughts, yes. this is good he thinks, "whatever is the matter?"
"nothing," he mumbles out, boyish grin plastered on his face in a smooth recovery, "i have no idea what you're talking about," he shrugs.
"i see," gwayne slowly stretches out in the silence, trying a different tactic of being upfront with it "say, do you notice anything different about the princess?" daeron doesn't even try to think, he shakes his head abruptly and stands before his uncle, their game of chess drawn to a sudden end.
"no uncle, if you excuse me i have to go somewhere."
gwayne stands immediately, "where?"
"somewhere," he whispers, heat rushing up his neck. daeron has never been a great liar and you've never raised him to be one, its almost soul crushing how in love and in awe gwayne is of you and your presence.
"daeron if you know something," he drawls out, "it'd best to be honest, thats a kingly virtue you know to be true." and its almost like a gentle threat the way he nudges towards his nephew.
"i'm sorry ser, but i know nothing," daeron whispers, his face pooling with an obscene amount of guilt. disappointing gwayne is a thing he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy, but the thought of disappointing you? thats an idea that daeron cannot even stomach and with a slight bow he all but races out the room, once again leaving gwayne hightower in the dust.
"what is wrong with everyone in this house?" he shouts into the silence, rubbing the frown lines gathering between his brows. he stretches his hand across his whole face, wiping away the lingering doubt and sighs heavily. this game must stop, and it must stop tonight.
he tries to catch you during the rest of the day to entice you but you were engaged with other ladies of the court, whispering and giggling. it all silenced when your group had spotted gwayne walking past, a wave at your fingertips and a knowing smirk resting on theirs. it was unsettling, but gwayne didnt let his demeanour drop. no, he was noble and knightly and dipped into a gentle bow of recognition before continuing his walk. a walk you were supposed to join him on but cancelled last minute.
something ugly grows inside of him when he decides after a few minutes of failing to clear his head in nature that he's had enough. he turns and makes his way to stalk in your direction, he'll take you to the side and the two of you will talk this nonsense out. he just can't make any sense of it.
in the time it takes gwayne to reach your chair in the gardens your ladies in waiting have all but disappeared and have been replaced by a certain dark brunette that has gwayne seething through his nostrils. but its not just the hand of the king that has gwayne irrational, its the fond look in your eyes as you beam up at him in delight. he halts, breath heavy and shoulders bouncing because that smile? that light bending, life altering, heart stopping smile is reserved for him. it has gwayne's name all over it and he hates it.
"ser cole," he doesn't bother to acknowledge the other, his gaze firmly planted on you. criston has half the decency to look ashamed but that only heightens gwayne's inner turmoil. "i see you make it a habit of preening with my family, and here i thought one was enough," gwayne's remark slides right over cole and there's heaviness landed in the air. cole narrows his eyes into icy slits but gwayne refuses to budge.
"gwayne," you gasp, mouth falling as you make way to stand before your husband, "that was not nice," you pause attempting to break the tension with a hand to his shoulder. it hurts more when gwayne refuses to budge, almost as if your touch is weightless despite it being days of being starved of it. he's not being fair, he knows it but how could he be given slivers of your attention when you've been serving it on the platter for the likes of ormund hightower and criston cole? its beyond him, no, thats even more unfair.
cole lets out a dark chuckle and shakes his head at gwayne then throws you a knowing look, "i'll see to it tomorrow," he promises you and bows respectfully. he makes it a point that when he passes gwayne he lets his shoulder knock into his slender frame and despite cole's slightly wider frame and taut muscle, gwayne holds his ground.
"you won't be seeing to anything tomorrow," he turns, pushing you behind him, almost protectively, like an animal protecting its own. you scoff at his silliness and try to reach around him but he shuffles at your every move, matching it with a blockade.
"gwayne," you huff into his back, "must you be so difficult?" you complain. and the second the words land, they slice straight into his chest, ripping open the chambers he's allocated just for loving you and he bleeds.
"what?" he faults, the stutter on his lips. you stop, hand flying to your mouth agape.
"that's not what i meant," you start, but gwayne has taken a step back. the two of you have never really argued much in your marriage, you've always moved in harmony. a perfect tandem. he's never been difficult because your love has always come easy, its natural, its the air he breathes and the life he lives. he's always tried to be the dutiful son, the dependable one, difficult? it stings, it burns and it swallows him whole.
"that was unkind of me and if you'll allow me to explain," you try and reach out to him but a force washes over him of steel. he's trying to be patient gwayne, compassionate gwayne, gentle gwayne, noble gwayne but he's just hurt at your words and deflection of your absence. god you have no idea what you're doing to him.
"not here," he quietly retreats and you're left to follow his footsteps back to your shared chambers. he's offered you his arm but your footsteps are a beat slower likened to your nervous heart and gwayne in his fury does not slow down till hes met with silence and reclusivity of your space. the door is a reminder of your secrets with ormund and now he imagines cole's taunting face and he grimaces, blood heating in his veins and he tries to steady his breathing.
he still holds the door open for you, waits for you to be safely inside before kicking it shut and facing you.
"what is going on?" he tries a steady approach, keeps his voice calm and level but the innocence in your eyes and the fact hes met with silence has him groaning and throwing his weight against the door in impatience.
"wife," he stalks over to you till youre barely atoms apart from each other and at this position hes a full head taller peering down at you. "this ends now, whatever stupid game where you have replaced me with the likes of ormund and cole? it is cruel and i want an explanation," he's seething and he can see the gears in your head turning, cogs sliding and locking to find some sort of reason.
"gwayne, i," you start and then you stop. revealing this now will only spoil what tomorrow brings and you've worked so hard on this you're willing to let him sulk. "it's nothing, i needed help with something and ormund and criston offered their services."
"their services?" he laughs, and your eyes widen at the insinuation, maybe it was the wrong choice of words but no. you'd never. he knows that right? "deny me and take them," he scoffs, "i understand."
"no gwayne wait, i think you're misunderstanding," you try and cup his jaw, bring his attention back to you hoping you'll see the earnest in your eyes and but he shrugs you off and puts the distance back between you.
"misunderstanding?" its outrageous the way his voice does not even raise once at you. "you havent sought me out in four days, i wake to a cold lonely bed, i do not hear from you all day but i find you with ormund then with cole- both whom of you you detest? tell me wife, were your feelings then just a misunderstanding? are they clarified now?"
it hurts the way hes questioning you, questioning your faithfulness and your bottom lip wobbles. "gwayne, i am your wife," you release in exasperation. "i am loyal to you- i would never-"
"you are my wife," he nods his head, "and yet you do not offer me honesty. what has happened? what has changed? do you not wish to love me anymore?" his voice breaks and it almost shoots straight to your knees, unsteadying you in a heartbeat.
"gwayne, my heart. that's absurd and you know it. i love you, i am yours, i am here?" you get out.
"but you are not here," he whispers and the air stands still. "you are not here in the way you have always been and i just, i don't understand why and you will not offer me the mercy of understanding why," he breathes, his eyes boring into yours. "i think," he pauses, "we ought to have some space between us, some room to think and reflect and remember why our marriage works so well."
you shake your head in defiance immediately, "no, i don't want to," you try to cross the distance but are met with his palm in the air. the slender fingers like a barrier.
"i think we need to," and its final in the way he says it. you lower your head, the tears creeping in the corners of your eyes. this is spiralling and you have the power to stop it but you also just wish your husband would trust you enough to leave it alone.
he sighs quietly, footsteps light as they make their way over to you and he tilts your chin to look up at him, wiping away the free tear that has fallen. you feel a sense of hope fill you, tired optimism that he's surrendering this silliness, a petty arguement harbouring into something messier. but then his words land a heavy blow and it feels oh so real "after dinner i'll move my things," and you step out of his hold.
"if thats what you wish," you whisper, the words betraying you and bitter on your tongue. "if you mean to question my loyalty then very well, ser gwayne," you bring his nobility and rank, ridding yourself of the familiarity. "when you are ready to be my husband again then you may join me," and with that, you walk away from the chamber and away from gwayne.
this time when he's left alone for the fourth time today he feels nothing but loneliness and regret swirling in his throat till he feels he can no longer breathe.
oh how something dreadful has truly happened.
dinner comes with a heavy blanket of quiet. its tense and for good reason. the hightowers look to each other in quiet concern. gwayne sits at the centre of the table, solemn and silent- he's hardly uttered a word all night. and you? you are not in your designated seat next to him. you are three seats away at the end of the table with daeron tucked at your side.
its rare for the two of you to be separated, meal times arw usually spent with the two of you sharing knowing looks, whispering sweet nothings and eventually, you'll lean your head tiredly against his shoulder and he'd find an excuse for the two of you to escape. its oh so homely and you are set in motion, moving as one.
however, tonight the distance is noticed and felt. ormund's eyes dart between the two of you but gwayne braves a steely look ahead.
"we are quiet tonight?" ormund questions, carefully scratching his fork against the plate, filling the silence.
"i wish you were also," gwayne nods, "say, what did you get up to this morning?" ormund pauses, glances in your direction and you just shrug, the fight leaving your body before its even began.
"am i intruding on anything?" ormund furrows his brows and gwayne looks at him with tired indifference.
"i am both sure and unsure," he nods solemnly, "but enlighten me, what did you get up to?" and theres no malice in his tone, nothing but careful curiosity.
"i headed to some merchants, picked up a few things, nothing too interesting," ormund replies and gwayne just nods throughout, not caring to pay further attention to any story that ormund dives into. instead he focuses sharply onto you. "that is nice, very nice."
he hears your sweet mumbles to daeron. how its so different to the words you shared earlier and how the world sets a little softer around you. he loves how you are with daeron, you're good to him, good for him. good for everyone but most importantly, youre perfect for gwayne. he hates fighting with you, its so passive, so reductive, so annoyingly easy it is for the silent treatment to get under his skin.
he watches as you carefully cut remenants of meat that you dislike and then you pause, you look over at him in his direction and you immediately look down to your lap.
gwayne's heart lurches in his throat, he knows you usually like to make swaps, its gwaynes favourite thing to do where he'll take on anything that brings you the slightest distaste and he'll make it right for you. except now, he can't find it in him to move an inch. daeron spots your hesitation and gingerly reaches out, eager to be the peace maker, "aunt, would you mind me having that piece?" and you look to him, a shadow of upset crossing your features and you try so hard to let it slip and front a smile but its too late. gwayne has seen the edges of that frown and lets out a noise likened to a strangled animal.
all attention diverts to him and he mumbles under his breath, "daeron it is impolite to watch over other people's plate," he then looks down at his own and without even thinking, he makes a move to stand with his plate in his own hand and walks in your direction.
"but uncle gwayne?" daeron questions confused.
"but nothing, daeron. keep eating, you'll need your strength to grow strong," he pats his head softly and waits patiently. you gingerly move the meat onto his plate and he shovels a portion of potatoes you love onto yours. its a temporary truce, you've never been great at disagreements so you're grateful for the moment of relief. gwayne then retreats back to his seat and the table continues eating.
"gwayne is right, daeron," ormund lifts a glass to him, "you'll be the strongest amongst us," and he watches as you pat daeron's shoulder affectionately in encouragment. dinner continues with clutter and clatter of dishes, of faint laughter and longing looks and gwayne wishes more than anything it was you by his side.
when everyone gears up to make a move and call it quits for the night, gwayne finds himself in the pensive mood to right a few wrongs, "ser cole," he calls out. you're long gone in the direction of the chambers, escorted by daeron and criston turns to gwayne.
"ah," he clicks his tongue, "have you come to hurl more insults ser gwayne?" and gwayne shakes his head slowly.
"to apologise, more like. i am sorry for earlier, it was unnecessary and unkind," he speaks with earnest and upmost genuineness. cole nods, a knowing look in his eyes and gwayne has the tiniest thought gnawing at his temples to immediately take it back and walk away.
"you know," cole punches his shoulder lightly, "i think there's someone more important and deserving of an apology," he raises his brow and gwayne lets out a heavy exhale.
"i know," he looks in your departed direction, the ghost of your figure haunting him, "what is truly going on? what madness am i being subjected to?" and cole can see the nerves in his brain stretching to make room.
"i can't say it is my place ser," he breathes, "but whatever you're thinking? it is the furthest thing you've known and actually? it's quite simple really, its a little humourous watching you work in circles over something so simple," and with a laugh he bids and leaves a confused gwayne to the night.
sleep does not come gracefully to gwayne.
its a lonesome stranger, the cold bites at his sides, the mattress has lumps that gwayne's sure is just in his head and no matter what he does, how tight his eyes squeeze shut all he can picture is the sorrowful look on your face and he hates himself.
he thinks he should go to you. its your first night apart since being married and nothing about it feels right at all. so he gets up throws on the shirt hes already worn the life out of today and with steel determination he sets foot outside the door and makes his way across the hall to the opposite direction where your shared rooms are located.
he almost flies through, the way he paces with eager urgency that he doesn't register how he must look like an absolute madman. his breath halts unevenly when a force is barricaded into his chest and his hands reach out to steady you instantly.
"love?" he whispers incredously, and your head whips up in a rapid reaction. he moves his hands from your waist and up to your shoulders as he checks you thoroughly for any injury. the force at which you two tumbled was enough to almost knock him clean off his feet, "are you alright?" and you nod tightly.
he takes in your appearance, your nightgown slipping down your right shoulder and your hair free from its usual weave of braids, just how he likes, likely tousled from endless turning in a bid to gain some sense of slumber. you shiver in the dead of the night, the moon casting a subtle glow over your features and he brings you closer to him, hoping some of his body heat will extend to yours and youre grateful for it immensely. he focuses on you completely and his heart soars at the realisarion. you had also come looking for him the way he longed to reach for you.
"gwayne i need to talk to you," you pull back an inch, "you were right, i haven't been truthful and i'm sorry. the sneaking around was excessive but it was the only way i could get it done," you breathe out, the words rushing before you can stop yourself. this might ruin everything but nothing could be worse than a minute more of silence and restraint from your lover.
"get what done, darling?" and you decide its better to show him then just tell him. you take his hand and walk him to the main hall thats been cordoned off the last few days- not that hes noticed, hes been too busy chasing after you to pay any attention to the changes of the house. its silent when you walk, the gentle pitter patter of your heart guiding the rhythm for your footsteps as you move at the same pace. gwayne doesnt offer any more questions, he doesnt say anything, hes patient this time and he's more than willing to wait for you to explain.
the hall opens with a soft thud as your palm pushes it open and gwayne pauses, tentative at the sight and he wants the ground to swallow him whole. all he can feel is shame as he stares ahead.
"you can come in," you say, letting go of his hand and he immediately steps forward to regain the heat of it, winding the interlocking fingers across to his chest where his heart rests.
"this is ... for me? truly?" and your heart swells, with pride or sympathy you are ensure of but tininess of his voice has you in shambles, completely undone. you've never heard the great gwayne hightower so unsure of himself and you decide that you never really want to again.
"of course," you draw out, gauging in his reaction. how his eyes turn and marvel at the side of banners, streamers, a portrait of him hanging in the centre, a banquet table yet to be set up and a pile of gifts right at the corner. he makes his way over to them, carefully as if even taking the wrong step might wake him up from this dream. "i know you don't usually like to make such a fuss but i wanted to do something special," you murmur and he turns completely to you. he marches across the inches with great fierceness and joins his lips to yours.
you let out a little oomf as his hand splays across your back steadying you and morphing your body into his. he kisses you so deeply, so intimately that youre sure his soul has conjoined with yours and all you can think, hear, see and feel is just all gwayne. he melts into you and youre floating and for the first time all week you feel at peace. there's no running around, no planning, no sneaking around your husband theres nothing.
you draw back just a milimeter and its not enough, he chases after your lips in an instance, absorbing every molecule of you with a burning intensity he's not sure he can control. he tries to slow himself down, to steady and ground himself but he's swarmed with all your love and attention its blinding.
"so this is what you've been up to?" he presses a kiss to your forehead, its soft and featherlike before he brings his own to yours, your noses touching in a teasing dance. a giggle bursts from your lips and you nod, stealing a look into his eyes and relax entirely.
"ormund helped massively, he headed with me to the merchant stalls this morning to retrieve your nameday gifts, and one of the cooks has a soft spot for you it didnt take much to entice them with the idea of preparing your favourites and cole? he helped set this place up, he's organised for your sister to safely join us and he's prepared a tourney in your favour. daeron was supposed to keep you preoccupied in the morrow till we had everything sorted and you husband," you sigh, "you were supposed to be surprised," and you swat his chest in disappointment. "it was supposed to be perfect."
"it is perfect, you are perfect" he returns to you and finds it harder to hide his growing smile by the minute, "and i am surprised, greatly, you really did all this for me?" he asks again and you hold his innocent gaze.
"of course?" you repeat, "gwayne you are the love of my life, in every life," you stress, "everything is for you, don't you see?" your palm finds its way to the side of his face.
"i'm sorry, my heart," he apologises, and he turns his head to the inwards of your palm, placing a soft fleeting kiss there. he had been so caught up in the confusion and his jealousy that he had completely forgotten tomorrow was technically his name-day celebration and he feels so damn stupid. "the accusations i held against you earlier were uncalled for. i was angry, i was mad and i was wrong," he tells you sincerely, "and i shall make up for it for the rest of my life."
you meet his swear with a tired eye and deep understanding, "i hate fighting with you gwayne, nor do i think we are good at it," he lets out a deep chuckle, the rumble landing between your bones.
"no," another laugh comes and its yours this time that joins him, "i don't think we are." he looks across the room once more and his blood warms to a liquid jelly. in all his years alive hes never paid much attention to having a name day, the two of you usually spent it together and alone but to see all this effort, all this attention and recognition for him? he truly is in awe.
"you love me," he whispers into the stillness of the hall.
"now you're being ridiculous, husband," you roll your eyes, "of course i do."
"and i love you," he reaffirms, "it was unkind and uncalled for to doubt your loyalty."
"you know, i could have you beheaded for treason," and there's a mischievious glint in your eyes.
"but then who would kiss you," his own sea eyes glisten back, "who would make you laugh? who would lay you down and love you all over," he teases, his fingers running along the bare skin peeking out from your gown. he presses just above your collarbone, then finds your pulse and lays a soft kiss to rest there.
"gwayne," you breathe and he hums a faint yes against your skin. you hardly hear it over the roar in your bloodstream but you lean in closer than ever. "come," you whisper to him, an echo of the morning, "come back to bed," and he smiles, his teeth against your jaw.
"always, my sweetheart," and he hooks his arm under your back and one under your knees, hoisting you up as he carries you back to your chambers. your laughter rings in the hallway and as much as hed like to bottle the sound of it and store it for an eternity he knows the rest of the house to be sleeping and tries to silence you with a few more hasty kisses.
when tomorrow comes he feigns surprise, the hall is alight, filled with food and music and all the people he loves. as he talks with alicent, laughs with ormund and teases daeron he keeps you by his side all afternoon and evening long, extending praise and gratitude to you at all times.
"this has got to be the best celebration you've ever had," ormund claps him on the back, "your exclamations of gratitude are ready for me now, please do not hold back," he grins but gwayne shakes his head and as you lean into his side.
"i think the best celebration has to be my wedding," he grins to you, a knowing tease swirling in his eyes singing you home. "but yeah, this does come pretty close."
You arrived at Oldtown to finally meet your betrothed, you were pleasantly surprised to find a handsome man waiting for you.
Gwayne Hightower was renowned across the realm to be quite the catch, despite being the eldest of the second son. He did not lack for the affections from ladies of noble birth, and even those of the smallfolk.
"I heard she has a big nose that is filled with snot from how frozen its up in the North" servants whispered in hush tones, as their hands neatly removed any crease from the bed they were preparing.
The small whispers between servants, circled around oldtown like a noose ready to be pulled on his neck. Gwayne was raised better than to listen to the petty gossip of common folks, he was a knight raised under the light of the Sevenâ yet he could not help but kneel before the statue of maiden.
Begging for what? His betrothed to be a beauty? To be able to look at her face and not want to feel disappointment?
He was pulled from his prayer by the arrival of older cousin Ormund, accompanied by his wife.
âAhâ there you are!â Ormundâs loud voice cuts through the quiet prayers of Gwayne. He looks up and finds his older cousin, standing before him, his lady wife smiling apologetically âWe do not wish to intrude, but we have received news that your betrothed is nearing Oldtownâ She quietly explains.
Gwayne nods in understanding, offering his cousins wife a thankful smile before getting on his feet with a heavy sigh.
âWe must keep our heads up cousin, lest we seem ungrateful to what the gods have planned for usâ Ormund offers his cousin a pat on his shoulder, an almost patronizing smile gracing the lord of Oldtowns face.
You arrived in Oldtown, and the first thing that hit you was the salty smell in the air. It was nothing like the north, nor the Riverlands you sometimes would accompany your older brother with. The air felt warmer, so much so you feel sticky despite wearing the thinnest and lightest clothes you have.
Your hair tied into a braid, as you tried to wipe the feeling of sweat from your neck and face.
âIt is my first meeting with my betrothed, yet I look so horridâ you huffed, letting the two servants who travelled with you fuss over your dress and hair. You may have lived in the north, but gossip and tales of the oldest son of the hand of the king reached even to the ladies up in the north.
So when you heard your brother had arrange for your betrothal to the young knight, a man who is the fancy of many women in the south and in the north, you could not help but have your heart skip a beat. It is no secret to you all the gossip that comes with being the sickly sister of the warden of the north, one could say that people grow to underestimate your ability to hear and understand the words that come from their mouths.
Yet you hold unto the hope, that your betrothed is as gentle and kind as he is in person. The carriage comes to a stop with a jolt, youâve arrive.
A deep breath, and you carefully lifted the curtain. Your breath catches in your throat, Handsome you thought to yourself. His hands lift to guide you down your carriage, you smiled grateful for his thoughtfulness as you grabbed his hand.
It was warmer than the hands of a man from the north, you couldnât help but note. Once your feet were firmly on the ground, the man takes a few steps back. âThank youâ you whispered, though you were not certain if he heard you.
Looking ahead, you weâre met with an imposing man, with a woman on his side. âThe lord of Oldtown, Lord Ormund Hightower, with his wife, Lady Samanthaâ the man who helped you down introduced.
And finally, âSer Gwayne HighTowerâ Eldest son of the Hand of the King, and brother to the Queen of the seven kingdomsâ
Your felt your heart flutter in your chest, you take it back- your betrothed is far more handsome than the knight who helped you down.
Gwayne takes a step closer to you, you couldnât help but notice how kind his eyes were, such a warm blue colour. âI hope your travel was fair my ladyâ and oh- You could easily melt with just the sound of his voice.
Feeling your cheeks flush, as you lowered you gaze in an attempt to hide you embarrassment âIt was fair my lord- â
âGwayne, you may call me Gwayne my lady⊠After all, you will be my wife soonâ
You tried to stop the smile from blooming across your face âI do not wish to imposeâ You muttered, trying to drown out the small giddy giggles from your two servants behind you.
âYou would never my ladyâ He assures, before finally offering me his arm âShall we?â
I happily took hold of his arm, feeling the warmth of his body despite the heavy doublet he wears. And how thick his arms are-
âI heard Old Town is home to the faith of the sevenâ you murmured, eyes flittering between making sure you do not fall on your face, and your betrotheds face. Which you happily note of the small freckles that litter across his cheeks.
âYes, if you mean by the starry sept- I can bring you there if you wish to join me for prayer?â You could feel the small hope in his voice.
Your steps falter a little at the invite, though you tried not to show it. You felt Gwayne tense beside you, slowing in his tracks âApologies my lady- It had slipped my mind that the north worship-â
âI do not mind!â
Gwayne halted in his steps, and you flushed at the realization you just raised your voice and now had servants and other knights staring at you. You lowered your face in embarrassment, your arm already pulling away from Gwayne.
When you felt him chuckle and ever so gently touch your cheeks âYou do not mind what my lady?â he asked, voice low and gentle. As if he was scared if his voice were any louder, you would grow scared and run back home to the north. He isnât wrong.
âIâŠdo not mind- If you took me to see the starry septâ You huffed, embarrassment fueling not just your anxiety but your pride. You came here to be wed, not to make a fool of yourself.
You saw Gwayneâs eyes widen, before breaking into an understanding smile âI would be more than honoured to accompany you my ladyâ
Making a turn at a corridor, you no longer saw the various nobles walking around, and only servants fluttering around. Seeming to notice your confusion, âwe are no longer at the main hall of the castle my lady, this side of the castle is where Iâ we will reside once we are wedâ He explains softly, eyes wandering to see my reaction.
It would be a lie for Gwayne to say he was not enamored when he first saw you get off the carriage. You were truly nothing like the rumours, especially now as he sees your eyes light up looking around what is to be your new home.
âWe are here, my ladyâ At last, you arrived at the door of what is to be your chambers. One of your servants hurriedly opened it, and what greeted you was something far different than what you had in the north.
Silks and tapestries of the mother and maiden hung the wall, the bedframe had wooden carvings of vines and flowers on each poster. The windows were open, letting in the cool sea breeze inside the room.
âYou may change it to your likingâ I had asked my cousins wife, lady Hightower and my sister for help howeverââ
âIt is lovely! TheâŠroom is lovelyâ You cut him off, smiling at him so beautifully how could he possibly find his words to respond back to you.
Nodding awkwardly, Gwayne nodded to your servants âyour remaining items will be delivered soon, please take the moment to rest after such an arduous journey my ladyâ his eyes darting between you and your servants. Before turning on his heel to leave your room to give you privacy for rest.
âI hope to see you for supper?â
âof course my lady, I would not want to miss itâ
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summary: you're wed to ser gwayne hightower in one last desperate attempt to unite the realm; but when the war tears the two of you apart, you're taken prisoner by his cousin, lord ormund hightower, where the line between duty and desire begins to blur. (12k)
contents: targ!reader (no physical descriptions), love triangle, enemies to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, forbidden love, infidelity, canon divergence, cw for brief mentions of attempted assault and smut 18+ (MDNI): fem receiving oral, unprotected sex, ormund has a scent kink
( NAVIGATION ) | ( MASTERLIST ) | ( AO3 )
i. DUTY & HONOR
Your last name was, perhaps, your greatest burden. It was the very walls of your prison; the unseen chain cinched perpetually around your throat. You had inherited the dragonâs blood, it seems, but not the dragonâs freedom â and when Rhaenyraâs fleet sailed across the Narrow Sea to wage war over a throne of swords, it forgot to take you with it. The only home youâd ever known was soon filled with ghosts donned in Hightower green and whispers of your leaving.
You were going to die here. That is a truth you learned long ago. Your only wish was that theyâd hurry up and get it over with.Â
They gave you a husband instead.
Your marriage to Ser Gwayne Hightower was heralded as an act of wisdom, the proof that wounds carved by old grievances could yet be stitched together, with silk ribbons tied around the wrists and a few spoken vows declared before the Sept. It was to be the very bridge that united the green and black. But the bridge burned anyway, and left the two of you behind.
âThey wed us to prevent a war that had already begun,â youâd scoffed, already deep into your cups at the feasting table, when Maester Orwyle called the fight to come inevitable.
âNoâŠâ Gwayne hummed from beside you, still perfectly temperate, though his blue eyes were heavy with a burden too old for a man of his years. âThey wed us so that, when the histories of this moment are written, someone might say that they tried.â
Youâd laughed then, loud enough to gain the attention of the rest of the courtiers at the long table â because Ser Gwayne was not entirely wrong, to be sure, but he was far too generous for his own good; generous enough to believe that the effort of your marriage actually meant something in the grand scheme of things.
Gwayne Hightower was a sensible man. He was not outwardly affectionate, maybe, but he was no less kind. There was no great love in your union â not like all the songs and fairytales insist, at least â but there was safety. Security. Stability. His presence often found you like the thick walls of an ancient keep, steadfast against the howling winds of a summer storm. You would find no certainty of your future in war, but being Gwayneâs wife meant, at the very least, that you were still alive today.
That unsaid assurance is perhaps a greater gift than any truly loving marriage couldâve been for you. And, perhaps, it was with that unsaid assurance that you came to admire him, without ever realizing you were doing so â always searching for his face in crowds, waiting every night for the familiar sound of his footsteps to walk outside your chamber doors, constantly watching him from a distance (which has become a most embarrassing habit of yours).
You find him now on the western balcony overlooking Blackwater Bay, where the moon climbs high over shimmering midnight waters. The salty breeze mixes with the scent of damp stone and dying fires from the lantern light glittering in the city below. Gwayne stands alone with his forearms propped on the pale stone balustrade, having exchanged his armor for a forest-green doublet embroidered with winding gold vines. The fading torchlights gild his silken auburn hair, stirred loose by the sea breeze.
You linger just beneath the archway, hidden in the place where the torchlight turns to shadow, studying the slope of his strong shoulders and how they rise and fall with each breath. He looks lonely; lonely enough for your chest to tighten with the want to close the distance between you and slip in beside him. But your feet refuse to move. And whatever affection was warming in your chest before pierces through you like a sword.
âYouâre staring.â The suddenness of his voice startles you.
ââŠYouâre supposed to be watching the sea,â you respond, half-shy. He doesnât look back at you when you emerge finally from the shadows; slippers scuffing the cobblestones, black skirts fluttering at your feet.
âI was,â Gwayne nods.
âThen how could you possibly notice I was standing there?â
He turns to face you then, as you settle on the balcony just beside him, keeping a few feet of careful distance between you like you always did â as if, in your union, an invisible line had been wedged between you and could not be crossed.Â
The corner of his mouth lifts slowly into a crooked smile. âBecause I notice everything about you,â he answers like itâs simple, like he hadnât just stolen the breath from your lungs.
Heat crawls up the low neckline of your dress, speckling across your cheeks and the very tip of your ears. You turn away, face screwed in a feigned disgust, and busy your hands with an imaginary wrinkle on your sleeve.Â
âThat,â you murmur. âIs a terrifying thought.â
âWell, it ought to terrify you,â Gwayne quips knowingly, bending softly at the waist to fold his arms along the stone railing. âIâve seen the way you steal the candied slices off of all your lemon cakes just to leave the sponge untouched, you know? Like an utter madwoman.âÂ
âWellâŠâ you huff, face flaring hot at the acknowledgment of being so openly seen by another. âIt seems I made the dreadful mistake of marrying the observant man in the Seven Kingdoms.â
âAnd here I thought that distinction belonged to my cousin,â Gwayne jokes lowly, brows raised to his hairline. âI shall write to Lord Ormund at once and relieve him of the title.â
You laugh quietly through your nose and turn away again. Silence settles comfortably over you once more, filled only by the distant clanging of metal as guards change their shift and the far-off crowing of a caged raven. The night feels impossibly dark, emptier than usual. It feels like an omen of sorts.
âIt grows worse, does it not?â you wonder aloud through the breath that catches in your chest, as if you were half scared to even ask.
Gwayneâs thin smile slowly fades. His adamâs apple bobs in his throat. âAye,â he nods. âI fear it does.â
âI keep⊠hoping thatâŠâ You swallow around the invisible hand tightening around your throat. âThat theyâll remember I am your wife before they remember whose blood I carry. I feel itâs the only reason theyâve yet to take my head.â
âOf course, they remember,â he assures you.
âIt feels less and less so these days.â
âTheyâre only frightenedââ
âIâm frightened,â you remind him.
The admission lingers between you like the salt water scent hanging in the air. Gwayne studies you for a long moment â he sees the flicker of sincerity flashing across your face right before you turn away from him again, and the way your jaw clenches a second later in regret of saying the words aloud.Â
He leans an elbow along the parapet to face you fully. And, as if to soothe you, he asks, âIf there were no war⊠No thrones, no dragonsââ
âNo Hightowers?â you add.
ââIf the Stranger himself appeared before you now and offered you another life,â the auburn-haired man continues with a hint of a smile gracing his lips. âWhat would you do?â
You ponder the question for a moment, eyes zeroed on the navy black horizon ahead as your fingers fidget on the stony barricade. âI should like a farm,â you answer, mouth twitching into an absentminded grin. âSomewhere far away from here. So I could raise chickensââ
âChickens?â he scoffs a dry laugh, then softens a second later at the sincere look you give him. He swallows hard and nods supportively. âMost ladies wouldâve said children, is allâŠâ
âWell, I am not most ladiesâŠâ you tell him. âI would have a field of apple trees, and a hundred dogs to protect all my chickens and horses and fluffy cowsâ you know, the ones that live down in the Reach?â
âWellâŠâ Gwayne croons. âYouâve certainly thought about this, havenât you?â
âEvery day,â you confess. The honesty in your answer strikes him down like a blade; the sorrowful look that heavies your face even more so. The reality of your situation returns to you then, settling over you like gravityâs inevitable weight. You swallow hard before you confess, âI fear theyâll kill me if matters grow worse at Dragonstone.â
âThey wonât.â
âYou cannot know that.â
âI do,â Gwayne assures you and takes a slow step closer, until the inherent warmth of his skin dulls the bite of the bitter sea wind. He ducks his chin to his chest to chase your gaze, peering down at you with glittering blue eyes. âI swore a vow before gods and men, did I not?â
âSo do most menââ
âWell, I am not most men,â he lilts with an air of amusement hanging on the edge of his words. âI actually meant my vows.â
Your eyes soften as they search his face, looking for any hint of hesitation or doubt in his handsome features. You find no uncertainty there; just the maddening, immovable confidence that seems to be stitched into the very fiber of his making.
âIf this castle should fall tomorrowâŠâ you whisper to him, eyes narrowing in skepticism. âOr if your family decides that I have become too great a burden to keep here⊠What happens then?â
âThen I shall stand in the doorway,â he shrugs.
A shocked laugh sputters from your mouth at his boyish conviction. âAnd if they mean to come through it?â
âThenâŠâ His lips jut softly. âThey shall first have to make a corpse of me.â
âYou are a valiant knight, Ser Gwayne, but you cannot fight an entire army.â
âPerhaps not,â he replies with a sad sort of smile. âBut armies are made of men. And every man who wishes to reach you will first have to face me... As I said⊠I meant my vows.â
Something in his words strikes a deep sadness within you. No one had ever spoken of your being like it possessed any value worth defending, and now the words come from the very family you were meant to despise.
But even still, for the first time since the ravens brought the tidings of war and the dragons took wing against dragon, you believed him. You believed that, should the whole realm come crashing down around you, Ser Gwayne would likely be the only one left standing at your side when the last stone fell.
And, gods, how stupid you were to do so.
ii. OATHS & ASHES
The news of your husbandâs leaving came not from your husband himself.Â
It came, rather, in whispers at court, slithering through the Red Keep like snakes beneath rushes â passing from Gold Cloak to stable boy to serving girl to scullion. âThey say Ser Criston and his knights are marching for Harrenhal on the morrow,â says a thick-accented handmaiden. âLord Hand means to smoke Daemon from the castle. Itâll be Prince Aemondâs before the next moon, no doubt.â
Your stomach dropped so harshly at the whispers that you nearly retched upon the marble. It was not Gwayneâs leaving that frightened you so, but rather what his absence would represent â he might as well throw you to the hounds himself before he goes, because you were as good as dead with him gone.
Your slippers strike the ancient stone in a frantic rhythm as you turn on your heel to storm back the way you came. The harsh echo of the soles catches the attention of surrounding servants, who flatten themselves against the walls as you hurry suddenly past. Your heartbeat pounds like thunder in your ears, far louder than the bells of the Great Sept that toll the evening hour â the combination of both feels like an ominous funeral knell.
You rush up the winding stone staircase with your crimson skirts gathering in your fists. Gwayneâs chambers sit directly opposite yours, and you find the heavy wooden door is cracked ajar. The hinges screechbeneath your palm when you shove it the rest of the way open without warning. The sight you find on the other side hollows you from the inside out â a travel satchel, laid open along the emerald sheets. Inside, a whetstone, riding gloves, a leather-bound prayer book, a sword belt, a flask.Â
The careful order of it all feels almost cruel. Chaos, at the very least, would suggest some air of hesitation from the man; a faint pause at leaving you behind. This, however, feels far too final.
Gwayne stands at the head of the bed with his back facing you. His pale hands work with a quiet precision to roll a Hightower-green cloak into his bag. He did not need to turn at the sudden intrusion. He learned the sound of your footsteps long ago.
âI wondered how long it might take,â the man croons distantly. The calmness of his voice, the indifference, sets you entirely aflame.
âWhy would you not tell me?â you bite in response.
Gwayne glances over his shoulder at you then. The flickering candlelight turns his hair a more golden shade of Hightower-red, and carves the soft edges of his face out in shadow. He was still every inch the striking knight that the whispers purported him to be â broad as an oak tree, handsome as a saint carved into an altar â but thereâs a foreign weariness etched into his features now. It darkens the skin beneath his eyes, turns his gaze a duller shade of icy blue.
âWell, I was going to, of course.â
âWhen?â The sharpness in your voice could draw blood.Â
ââŠTomorrow.â
âTomorrow?â Your laugh splinters the otherwise silent room, sharper than broken glass. You shut the door behind you with an aggressive hand and close the distance between you, dress skirts billowing wildly at your ankles. âWhen you ride at dawn? And you meant to tell me when your horses were already saddled?â
âYes,â Gwayne sighs, lowering the folded doublet into its place. âI thought I might spare you one nightâs griefââ
âYouâre abandoning me,â you tell him then, as if to translate the manâs words back to himself. You linger at his side, eyes darting wildly over his profile when he fails to meet your gaze. âJust like all the rest of them. You do realize that, right?â
âThe king has given ordersââ
âWell, it wasnât the king who stood beside me at Blackwater Bay not even a week ago, was it?â Your voice lowers into a faux-masculine tone, trying and failing to mock him. âIf anyone comes for you, I shall stand in the doorwayââ
Gwayne scoffs. âSurely, I do not sound like that.â
ââThey shall first have to make a corpse of me.â
âYes⊠I remember,â he answers through a slow huff of annoyance, stepping back from his travel bag to drag a pair of weary hands down his face. âI wasâ well into my cups by then, as you well knowââ
âOh, do not cheapen those words now,â you spit, shoving hard at his shoulder. Gwayneâs features twist in offense as his wide eyes glance down at the hand youâd pushed him with, though he doesnât move an inch. âDonât dishonor yourself with a cowardâs excuse just to make up for the fact that you lied.â
Gwayneâs composure fractures at that. He had spent too much of his life trying to be a good knight, a good man â one that maybe his callous father could be proud of â so he refuses to stomach accusations of otherwise from you.Â
His icy blue eyes harden into a glacial sort of look, more hurt than truly angry. He lays his cloak into place to face you fully.
âDo you not see that I am leaving to keep the fight from coming here?â
âDo not you see that by leaving me here that Iâm as good as dead?â you retort through a jaw clenched tight. âIf you do not take me with you, thenââ
âOf course Iâm not taking you with me!â he scoffs with a crooked smile, like itâs funny to him. âYouâd be dead before we made it to the Godâs Eyeââ
âAnd I will be dead before this war is won if you leave!â you shout, voice wet and fragile with the unshed tears burning the backs of your eyes. âThe fight is already here! The people who wish me dead are in these walls! They pour my wine, they wash my hair, they cook my food, they bow when I walk by and whisper when my back is turned! And if you arenât here, thenâŠâÂ
You trail off with a ragged breath. Your corset feels suddenly tight against your ribs. You choke back the sob that strangles your throat and blink rapidly to clear the haze of tears blurring at your waterline. You peer up at the man with the sternest gaze you can muster.
âI am⊠frightened,â you tell him, though your voice cracks into a fragile whisper halfway through.
The anger disappears from Gwayneâs face as quickly as it arrived. His shoulders deflate with a slow huff through his nose as he takes a slow step towards you. His hands release their clenched fists to reach hesitantly for your face. His palms are warm and softly calloused when they cup your cheeks, caressing you with a tenderness he hasnât shown since your bedding ceremony six or more moons ago.
The quiet half-smile he gives you, then, is weighed down by a palpable sadness.
âTo tell you the truth⊠I have never been more afraid than I am right now,â he confesses in a low murmur, swiping his thumb over the warm apple of your cheek. The softness in his voice threatens to undo you entirely.Â
âSo then donât go,â you plead in a small voice, grasping at the front of his emerald doublet until the golden vines wrinkle under your grip. âPlease.â
âIf Harrenhal remains in Rhaenyraâs hold, and if Daemon rallies the Riverland armies, then the war will come here,â Gwayne continues in a painfully steady voice. âI fear I donât have a choice in the matter.â
âEveryone has a choice,â you tell him, filled with a girlish sort of rage once more. âBut, I suppose youâve already made yours.â
The man meets your scowl with a tired, slightly heartbroken smile. âPlease do not make me spend my last night with my wife quarreling with her,â Gwayne jokes quietly, swiping an eyelash from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. âAt least leave me with something to hold onto until my return.â
Your tight chest deflates with a slow sigh from your nose. The rage ebbs evenly into grief. âAnd what shall I have, hm? Considering tonight is very likely my last one alive and allâŠâ
Gwayne laughs. âYou are being⊠catastrophically dramatic.â
Your chest burns with a mixture of rage and desire. He could never possibly understand you, but somehow, he is the only one with the walls of the Keep who ever has. The contrast is dizzying.
âI hate you,â you hear yourself say.
âPerhaps...â Gwayne hums, warm breath fanning across your cheek. âBut not nearly as much as you love me.â
Your first instinct is to strike him for the sarcasm in his words; your second is to weep at the truth of them. He kisses you before you can do either.
He ducks down to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss, a mere brushing of your lips. The last time he had done so was beneath the glowing candles of the Sept, following the declaration of your wedding vows. But that was an obligation, a political victory of sorts.
This kiss is far sweeter in comparison. You feel the man heavying against you as he falls deeper into your touch. He opens your mouth with his and flicks the pad of his tongue against yours, like velvet brushing velvet. Your hands tremble as they leave the chest of his doublet to rake through his auburn locks, like silk between your fingers. You sigh against his open mouth at the taste of him â like wine and mint and oranges â sweet enough to get drunk on.
It takes you a long moment to realize his hands have snaked around your waist accordingly. You donât realize his deft fingers are loosening the tie in your corset until the discomfort in your ribs disappears entirely. Your body acts before your mind, and your arms slither from their sleeves to curl once more around Gwayneâs broad shoulders.
The man folds the top of your dress down until your bare chest is revealed to him. A grumbled moan sounds in the back of his throat as he pulls you back into him with two wide palms along your bare back, pressing your breasts flush against his chest. He thinks, if he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the steady thundering of your heart like this.
âGwayneââ you whisper against his mouth when you feel something hardening against your hip. Your hands drop from his hair to slide between your bodies, headed for the tie in his trousers to release the stiffness growing there.Â
He twists you round in the meanwhile, shoes scuffing the cobbles, until the bend of your knees meets the edge of the mattress behind you. He lays you down without once taking his mouth off of yours, with one wide palm splayed along your ribcage and his other cradling the back of your neck.
He pulls off of you with a quiet smack to catch his breath. A small whimper sounds in the back of your throat when his warm body leaves yours, rising to reach down for your skirts. Your bare chest heaves as you sit up on your elbows to watch him fumble with your dress. âGods above, how many skirts are you wearing?â you hear him complain under his breath. âIâve faced hedge knights with fewer defenses than this.â
You giggle when he finally pushes the layers of your dress up to your hips. Your thighs spread on instinct, exposing yourself to him. Gwayneâs mouth waters at the sight of your silken folds, already glittering in anticipation. Your chest tightens when he falls to his knees before you.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you ask on bated breath.
Gwayne flashes you a love-drunk grin and a pair of glassy blue eyes. His warm palms smooth along the velvety skin of your inner thighs to spread them further. âCall it a knightâs act of service, shall we?â he quips.
His auburn head disappears beneath your bunched-up skirts a second later. Your face twists momentarily in confusion before you feel his tongue slotting in the silk folds of your cunt. He licks a fat stripe up the length of it, until his tongue finds something that makes your hips twitch despite yourself. His mouth closes around the sensitive button, suckling at it with a grumbled moan in the back of his throat.
Your head tips back at the feeling. Your lips part as if to moan, but the electric shock in the pit of your stomach knocks all the available air from your lungs. You feel him laughing against you when your thighs clench suddenly around his head, tighter than you realize.
Gwayne pulls off of you with a quick smacking sound. He wears your slick down to his chin as he flashes you a teasing, glassy-eyed look. âIâd quite like to keep my head, dear wifeââ
You say nothing in response to his quip. You just dart a head to the crown of his skull and shove his face back between your thighs.
 Gwayne complies without complaint, lapping at the honey you leak for him, until the wet sounds of his mouth fill the quiet chambers. You rock your hips against his face, bracing yourself with the auburn locks you clench in your fist.
His nose nudges the swollen bud that makes you keen, right before he takes it in his mouth again. Your skin buzzes at the foreign feeling.
âGwayneââ you gasp. A tight feeling settles deep in your stomach, like a fraying knot about to snap. Your back arches off the mattress. Your hand tightens in his hair. Your features screw in a pain look, half-scared at the pleasure welling within you. âI canâtââ
âMmâŠâ he just keeps moaning against you, letting the vibrations deepen your pleasure. His wide hands smooth up and down your outer thighs when they tremble on either side of his head, clenching around him as your orgasm hits you with a pleasured whine. He laps up every ounce of honey you leak for him, and sighs hard through his nose at the salty-sweet taste of you.
Only when your legs grow finally lax around his jaw does he pull back from your thighs. A smile curls lazily at his rosier, more swollen mouth. The bottom half of his face glitters in the candlelight with a mixture of saliva and cum â you lift your head in time to watch him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.
âIf this truly is my final night aliveâŠâ you say through panted breaths, eyes still wide from the shock of your simmering pleasure. âI feel I could finally die a happy woman.â
âIâm glad I could be of service, princessâŠâ Gwayne smiles lazily, grimacing slightly at the ache in his knees as he rises from the unforgiving cobbles. He leans down to lay his warmth back over you. You stop him with a firm hand on his chest.
âI want to be on top this time,â you confess in a breathless whisper, eyes darting back and forth between his.
Gwayneâs brows raise slowly in shock at your sudden display of dominance. The corner of his lip twitches into a smile the same way his cock twitches in his boxers. He nods until the words catch up to him. âAs you wishâŠâ
iii. CROWNS & CAGES
You did not weep when they came for you, scarcely a fortnight after your lord husbandâs leaving.
Gwayne was gone by first light, perhaps already a league or more away before you stirred awake that morning to the chill of an empty bed. He parted with nothing but a folded scrap of parchment resting where his head had been the night before. In his scrawled handwriting, half-smudged from where his wrist had dragged the ink in haste, he wrote: âWrite to me. Donât die. Iâll build the form for you myself.â
You keep the note tucked safely inside the chest of your corset now, folded so many times that the edges have already begun to soften. You keep it close to your heart like a holy relic, or perhaps, a threat to whatever unlucky son of a bitch kills you first â something to discover on your corpse after they slit your throat, so theyâll know who to answer to upon your husbandâs return.
Eventually, the servants ceased asking whether you needed anything, and all your meals came cold. Conversations ceased the moment you entered a room, and doors slammed shut before you could reach them. And then, when word spread that a wild dragon had taken wing not far from here, all eyes of suspicion turned to you â to whom a dragon had never belonged, though the blood in your veins wearied the courtiers all the same. Rhaenyra had already added three new riders to her fleet; she certainly did not need another.
You were no longer a bride, but a prisoner in pretty gowns â it was the Queen Dowager, and your sister by law, who confirmed as much to you.
âI had hopedâŠâ Alicent started slowly, bathed half in sunshine and half in shadow from where she stood before the window in your quarters, watching the distant storm clouds blow in over Blackwater. âThat I might never have to ask this of you.â
Her auburn curls swept over her pale shoulder when she turned to face you. Something heavy sat in her round green eyes, as if she wanted you to finish the rest of it for her. But you remained as stoic and silent as ever from where you sat at the small dining table just across from her. Your hands wrung into knots over your skirts, hidden beneath the surface, as you waited for the words of your fate to fall from her lips.
âThe council believes thatâ Should the opportunity present itself, you would attempt to reach the wild beast. The Cannibal, I believe itâs called,â Alicent said. âAnd through him, Rhaenyra.â
âSoâŠâ You sighed, making no attempt to argue the subject. It did not matter whether or not it was true; the possibility was enough to make you a criminal. âThe Black Cells, then?â
âNo,â Alicent shook her head, half-offended by the suggestion. âOf course not. My cousin, Lord Ormund, he commands the Hightower host. He has agreed to keep you under his⊠protection for the time being.â
âProtection?â you echoed through a scoff. The word tasted foreign and bitter in your mouth. âWhat a pleasant name for captivity.â
Alicentâs face flickered with a motherâs sort of sympathy. Her hands wrang together beneath the draping sleeves of her emerald dress.âYou will be treated with every courtesy your station deserves, I assure you.â
âIf your council means to bargain with me, Your GraceâŠâ you started with a sad smile. âThey mistake me for something worth bartering for. Rhaenyra already abandoned eâ keeping me hostage will not make her respond to your offered terms.â
âEven still⊠You would be far safer there than you would be here, whether or not you believe thatâs true,â Alicent said. âI know what my brother would wish of me. And Gwayne would never forgive me if I didnât do everything I could to keep you safe.â
The long journey south smells of wet earth and horse dung. By the time you reach the Hightower encampment â which sprawls across the rolling fields like a second city â your fine silk gown has long surrendered to the dust of the road, and your hands now bear the tenderness of a week spent in the saddle.Â
Your broad-shouldered escort guides you through the avenue of canvas tents billowing wildly beneath snapping green banners. The air smells of woodsmoke, cooked venison, and salty sweat â the soft breeze carries with it the sound of laughter, barking hounds, clanking chainmail, and shouted commands.
A pair of guards draw back the heavy canvas of the biggest pavilion in the camp. âMy lord,â one says to announce your arrival inside, right before the entrance flap closes heavily behind you.
Inside, candles burn despite the lingering daylight, filling the enclosed tent with the smell of beeswax and parchment from the large map covering the long oak table. Pieces carved from ivory and oak mark castles and armies across the whole of Westeros, waiting to be won or maybe burned.Â
A strange man stands over them with his broad hands planted along the edge, visibly built beneath his ornately decorated armor, and standing several inches taller than the rest of the knights in the room.
Lord Ormund was not pretty like Gwayne, but he was his own kind of handsome, made of sharp edges and strong features. His Hightower-auburn curls are less vivid in color and sheared short. He has his familyâs pair of striking blue eyes, too, which feel a little like theyâre piercing you when he glances up from his map.Â
âLeave us,â he commands his guards in a low, melodic voice, keeping his eyes on you as his knights filter out of the tent. Their armor clatters faintly as they go. The man doesnât say another word until theyâre gone.Â
âSoâŠâ he hums, one corner of his mouth lifting upwards. âThe infamous dragon bride.â
Your brows bounce at the title. It feels like another chain around your neck. âI suppose Iâve been called worseâŠâ you sigh, studying him with the same curiosity. âYou must be Lord Ormund.â
âI must,â the man nods as he rounds the war table at an unhurried pace.Â
His boots sink into the woven rungs laid across the hard earth with each step. He towers several inches over your head when he plants himself in front of you. He smells of steel and sweat and strongly of incense.
âI expected someone⊠older.â
His brows raise in amusement. âAnd here I expected someone taller.â
âWell,â you deadpan, eyes narrowing up at him as your hands clasp behind your back. âIâm sorry for disappointing you, Ser.â
âOh, Iâve endured far worse disappointments, my lady, I assure you.â A ghost of a smile graces his pink lips as his eyes soften slightly around the edges. âI give you my word. While you remain beneath my banners, no harm will come to you.â
You sigh hard through your nose. âYes⊠People keep promising me that.â
âIâm sure they have⊠But I intend to honor it.â The certainty of the manâs words unsettles you. Itâs strange, you find, to be looked at like you were something worth protecting. âAnd if you require anythingâ anything at all. You need only ask.â
You nod slowly with a deep exhale, considering the offer. âA quill,â you conclude firmly.
Ormund blinks. âA⊠A quill?â
âYes,â you say. âAnd parchment.â
âFor⊠What purpose?â he laughs.
You glance over your shoulder towards the tentâs fluttering entrance, where the last light of the early evening burns gold against a sea of green banners. You wonder, briefly, how many soldiers outside this pavilion would celebrate if they found you dead on the morrow â how many would mourn, how many would care enough to do anything at all.Â
You think, perhaps, that in the whole of the Seven Kingdoms, there is only one person who would weep for you. And he was a hundred leagues away.
âSo that I may write to my lord husband,â you answer finally. âAnd tell him that I was right⊠And that he still owes me a farm.â
Lord Ormund allows you to write to Gwayne that night, and every seventh day after. It was the only thing you could look forward to, since there was little else to do at camp. He had been gracious enough to give you your own pavilion at the edge of the command encampment, close enough for the sentries to watch but far enough away to force you into solitude.Â
It was clean and moderately comfortable â with a narrow cot draped in a single wool blanket, a traveling chest for the few dresses you were allowed to bring, a wash basin, and a small writing table tucked beneath the only slit in the canvas that permitted daylight. Inside smelled of candle wax, pressed linen, and lavender soap.
Outside smelled of war â of pressed metal from the blacksmiths, of men cursing over burnt porridge, of stableboys tending to horses who fouled the earth faster than they could shovel it. It was cruel, how the world went on while you could go scarcely a step without an escort. Eventually, you became accustomed to feeling a hundred eyes upon your back â most curious, others suspicious, some outright hateful.
The letters you wrote to Gwayne, at least, gave you the illusion of escape. You tended to each with careful precision â melting the wax, stamping it shut, then tying it off with a ribbon â and watched from afar as one of Ormundâs knights carried them toward the rookery. It was not until the twentieth day at camp, when you wandered further than you were typically allowed, that you noticed that none of your messages had been sent. You watched the knight toss the letter into the fire, flinching slightly when the flames sparked beneath the fresh kindling.
It had been four days since then.Â
And you havenât eaten once in protest.
It took roughly half that time for Lord Ormundâs patience to run thin. Heâs suffered the endless whispers of your attempts to starve to death with an increasing displeasure. He commands thousands of knights beneath his banners, serves as the leader of his house with grace, and yet â he still cannot seem to manage to command one lady to supper. It was absurd. Humiliating. And worse, it invited doubt. What army will follow a man whom they believe incapable of governing his own household?
On the fifth evening, after your breakfast tray went untouched that morning, Ormund opts to bring you your supper himself. He marches through the crowded camp with his jaw clenched tight like a soldier headed into battle. His chainmail clanks with every step. Avoiding the stares he gets from surrounding knights feels borderline impossible.
He throws open the entrance of your tent without ceremony. The canvas snaps sharply beneath his aggressive hand as he ducks suddenly underneath it. The light of the golden evening pours suddenly inside around his towering silhouette before the flap falls shut behind him once more, trapping the two of you inside.
There, he finds you lying on your cot, staring upward at the slit in the pavilion where one lonely shaft of sunlight spills through. Your fingers drift lazily through the rays, as if you were trying to catch it somehow.Â
Your head snaps suddenly to the side at the sudden intrusion â your hair is loose and unkempt, because no one ever taught you how to do it yourself, and all of your dresses are now wrinkled and stained with dirt. The thin white nightgown you wear makes you look more sunken, more lifeless.Â
Ormund grasps your tray with one hand and reaches for your small writing desk with the other. He lectures you through the distant pang of sympathy in his chest.
âI have commanded men twice your sizeââ His boots are heavy on the thin rug as he carries the desk over to you. âI have started sieges, I have broken sieges. And yetââ He slams the table in front of you with a dull thump. You try not to cower under the icy blue glare he gives you. âI cannot seem to persuade one prisonerâ a lady, no lessâ to eat her supper. And I confess, it does very little for confidence in my command. So eat.â
Ormund slams the tray onto the desk. The broth steaming in a small wooden bowl sloshes over. Next to it, strips of leftover venison and a broken loaf of stale bread. Your empty stomach twists painfully with a mixture of nausea and hunger.
âSoâŠâ you start lowly, clearing your throat when your voice comes gravelly. You rise from your supine position on weak limbs. The fabric of your nightgown rides up your thighs as you turn to place your bare feet on the ground â eyes dull when you peer up at the man from beneath your lashes. âYou admit it, then? That I am your prisoner here?â
His jaw clenches tight. His nostrils flare through a sharp breath. He no longer finds amusement in your banter. âYour status here depends entirely on your pliancy,â he spits, ripping off a piece of the stale loaf. âNow eat.â
You flinch when his fist rears suddenly towards your face, holding the broken bread just in front of your mouth. You blink wildly up at him, features screwed in offense. ââŠExcuse me?â
âEat.â
You swat his hand away; it moves scarcely an inch. âIâm not a childââ
âWell, at present, you are behaving remarkably like one,â Ormund argues through a tight jaw. âNow open your mouth.â
You respond with only a glare.
Fury rages through the manâs chest. He wishes wordlessly for the strength of the Mother and the Warrior engraved upon his armor as he offers bitterly, âOr shall I make you?â
You spend a long moment staring up at him with eyes cold enough to freeze wine. You hold his gaze as your mouth parts slowly to accept the chunk of bread he pinches between his thumb and forefinger. He places it upon your tongue with a surprising gentleness, considering the wrath heâd had moments ago.
âChew,â he commands, glaring down the bridge of his nose at you. Your jaw moves slowly. Ormund nods in approval. âSwallow.âÂ
Your heart lurches into your throat at his order. But you do as youâre told, throat bobbing as the piece of bread goes down. Another piece follows soon after; this time, your lips part before he asks you to do so. Relief crosses over his strong features as he places the food onto your tongue. His shoulders sag with the exhaled breath that it feels like heâs been holding for days.
He looks almost worried for you; relieved, almost, to have fed you. A warm, foreign feeling settles in your chest accordingly.
âI am trying⊠Very hard to be kind to you,â Ormund confesses, scarred hands twitching at his sides. âSo I cannot, for the life of me, understand why you insist on making this so difficult.â
âMy letters,â you tell him. âWhy arenât they being sent?â
âThe rookery master feared they could be intercepted,â he answers plainly. âI could not risk one falling into enemy hands. I⊠meant to tell you.â
âWhen?â you spit.
âWhen I found a safer way to deliver them.â
A bitter laugh sputters from your mouth. âWhat curious men you Hightowers are,â you quip with narrowed eyes. âSo fond of deciding what sorrows I ought to be spared.â
His brows lower in confusion. âIs that not a kindness?âÂ
His answer lingers between you for several long moments. There was no cleverness in his words, only an honesty that strikes you like a fist to the stomach.
âAye. I suppose it is,â you answer, clearing your throat when your voice catches.Â
A strange emotion strangles you, and burns at the back of your eyes as you look down at your dress. Your dull nails pick at a smudge of mud on the fabric that will likely never come off. An embarrassed sort of laugh tumbles from your mouth.Â
âPerhaps I⊠I spent so long waiting for someone to hurt me that I no longer remember what kindness is supposed to feel like.â
Ormund nods through a slow exhale from his nose. He glances to the side and walks the short distance to the stool that the table had knocked over in his rage. Your wet eyes follow his form as he walks away and then back to you, setting the chair on the other side of the table. You can feel the warmth radiating from his body, even in the scarce distance between you.
âIâll admitâ A man spends enough time at war, they start to forget that mornings are not meant to begin with fear,â he says, reaching again for the loaf of bread, but this time breaking it in half. âI forget myself, at times, but⊠if youâll allow me⊠Iâd very much like to prove to you that I can be kind.â
Your weary features soften around the edges. âWell, I donât have much of a choice in the matter, do I?â you tell him, with a more sincere smile hinting at the corners of your lips. âI am your prisoner, after all.â
âSo you keep insisting,â Ormund quips with his own quiet grin. âBut I should rather you thought of yourself as my⊠responsibility.â
Your heart stumbles a beat. Responsibility felt much safer than hostage, or bargaining piece, or burden. It felt, youâll admit, like a kindness.
iv. SILK & SWORDS
You fall into a steady routine at the Hightower encampment by the fifth moon of your captivity.
Each morning arrives with the same mournful groan of a warhorn that rolls across the grass green hills before the sun has even broken the horizon. You wake to the distant ringing of hammers against anvils, hounds barking for gristles off the cookfires, and knights shouting for their squires. The first hours were reserved for armorers; the afternoons for drilling knights whose swords cracked together until you could feel them ringing in your skull; and the evenings for songs, laughter, and ale.
Your days, however, remained painfully empty.
Lord Ormund had been kind enough to provide you with greater comforts as the weeks went by â cushioned pillows and heavier woolen blankets for when the nights got colder; sprigs of lavender for your bedside to keep out the stench of man; more parchment and colored ink to busy your hands when the days were especially long. And all of them were especially long. Heâd given you his leather-bound prayer book, too, and even though you were not an entirely pious woman, youâd read through it enough times to recite each passage from memory.
The camp has since grown accustomed to your being there, ever since Ormund slackened his metaphorical leash on you â âYouâve had more than ample opportunity to run,â heâd said beneath the scratching of his quill. âBesides, where exactly would you go? No one else would take you.â No one bats an eye when you leave your tent, after three days of relentless rain had finally broken, to pick fresh berries from the brushes along the treeline.
Your crimson silk dress scrubs the dewy evening grass as you collect wild raspberries into a small wooden bowl. The juices stain your fingertips the color of red wine. The sweet scent mixes with the smell of wet earth and mint leaves crushed beneath your slippers. You bend at the waist to parse through tangled brambles, searching for the ripest berries. For the first time in months â years, maybe â you feel almost peaceful.
âIs that a love letterâ?â
The voice cuts through the quiet like a blade. Your heart lurches into your throat as you jerk to full height again. The small bowl of berries slips from your grasp and rolls through the wet clover like so many drops of scattered blood. Behind you, you find a vaguely familiar hedgeknight, scarcely ten paces away â made of broad shoulders, broken teeth, and greasy hair that falls to his shoulders.
It takes you an embarrassingly long moment to catch your breath.
âIâm sorry,â you say through a tightening chest. âYou⊠You startled me.â
âDid I?â he hums gruffly, in a voice that borders on amusement.
You cower into the hedgerow behind you as he approaches you, reaching you quickly on much longer limbs. He looms close enough for you to smell the sweat and ale and horse piss on his chainmail, close enough for you to lift your chin to meet his gaze.
His eyes never quite reach yours. They linger, instead, on your chest. âLetter from your lord husband, is it?â he asks, motioning with his head.
Your chin ducks to follow his eyes, where the rough edges of parchment nestled against your chest peek out from your corset. Your hands lift to cover it instinctively. âYes. Itâs a⊠a letter. From home.â
âMind if I take a look at it?â he asks, taking another daring step closer. You wince at the sour smell of him. âWhat does Ser Gwayne write his pretty wife, hm?â
âPlease, donâtââ
His hand shoots out. Thick, filthy fingers hook beneath the neckline of your gown, hard enough to stretch the fine silk with an audible crack. You react on pure instinct accordingly, lifting your own hand to strike him before your mind could forbid it.
The sound of your palm colliding with his bearded jaw cracks through the hedgerow like a whip.
His head turns slightly under the blow.
Your breath catches in surprise at yourself.
The back of his hand catches you across the cheek before you can blink. A red-hot pain explodes from your ear to your jaw as your world lurches suddenly sideways. You hit the unforgiving earth below with a huff when the air rushes from your lungs. Coppery blood pools thick on your tongue from where your teeth had cut the inside of your cheek.
âYou little cuntââ you hear the man say, right before he catches a fistful of your skirts to pull you back towards him. The fabric screams beneath his hand. The cool evening air strikes your legs all at once when the silk rips up to your thighs.
You kick wildly at the man. Your slipper strikes uselessly against his shoulder. Your fingernails claw muddy furrows through the soaked earth.
âI amâ Gwayne Hightowerâs wifeââ You tell him through panted, fearful breaths. He flips you onto your back by your ankle. Your foot burns beneath his grip. Your head strikes the soaked earth. Through the lack of air in your lungs, you heave, âHe will have your head for thisââ
âOh, will he?â the hedge knight laughs with a brown-tooth grin. ââCause he ainât hereââ
The hand not holding your squirming ankle reaches for the tie in his trousers.
Then, in a blink, steel sings with a clean rasping sound. Warm blood splashes from your right jaw up to your left temple. For a flicker of a moment, you canât quite comprehend why â not until the hedge knight kneels suddenly before you, with open eyes that have gone strangely distant. He topples suddenly sideways with his neck bent at an awkward angle, head half cut off and spouting bright red blood.
You blink wildly through the haze of death until you find Ormund standing just behind the corpse, chest rising and falling beneath his heavy armor. His longsword drips crimson onto the grass where your raspberries lie.
Sweat from the long day clings to his dark curls, wetting them against his temples and forehead. Flecks of blood dot his jaw like crimson stars. His blue eyes burn with something fierce, but his voice remains remarkably soft.
âMy ladyâŠâ
You open your mouth to answer him, but nothing comes out.
Only then do you notice how violently your body is shaking, buzzing with a white-hot fear, as you scan the scene surrounding you â your torn skirts, the blood staining your chest, the dead body at your feet. You stare at the hedge knightâs gushing throat without fully understanding the sight of it.
Ormund reaches you in three long strides. He sheaths his sword without a word before dropping carefully to one knee. He slides one arm under your leg and his other behind your back, hoisting you upward with a pair of strong arms. The scent of blood and earth gives way to the smell of leather, incense, and bathing oils as he cradles you to the broad wall of his chest.
Your trembling hands clench a fistful of the green velvet cape draped along his shoulder.
âYouâre safe, my lady,â Ormund murmurs as he carries you back to camp. âYouâre safe.â
Your face finds the hollow space between his jaw and collarbone. Youâre not entirely sure if you believe the words he speaks, but you know now that you do believe in the man who speaks them.
v. SANCTUARY & SIN
The weeks that followed could be divided into two â the days before the attack and all the days after.
For a time, you startled far too easily. A dropped shield sent you into a panic. A knight laughing too loudly made your pulse skyrocket. And if a pair of bootsteps walked too closely behind you, you lost all your breath before your mind had time to remind your body that no one meant you any harm.Â
Nights proved harder still. You dreamt of nothing but rough hands and torn silk and crushed berries that smelled so sweet the thought alone made you sick. One moment you were suffocating beneath the sweaty body of a hedge knight, and the next, your canvas door was thrown open while you were choking on a scream.
Ormund stood silhouetted before you, barefoot, with a sword in his naked hand. Heâd reached you with haste, after having your pavilion packed up and pitched again not quite twenty paces from his following the attack â âItâll be easier that way,â he assured you. âIf another fool decides to trouble you, Iâd rather not have to cross half of Westeros to remove his head.âÂ
His curls were flattened from slumber, his linen shirt unlaced to reveal his broad chest heaving with panic. His sleep-swollen eyes swept every corner of the empty pavilion before they settled finally on you. His steel lowered as he crossed the tent to settle beside you, smoothing a hand up and down your back despite the way your nightgown clung uncomfortably to your sweaty skin.
âWeâll move your bed into my tent,â heâd said. âYouâll sleep there for the time being.âÂ
It was concern disguised as a command. One you could not refuse if you wanted to.
Ormundâs tent was large enough to pass for a modest hall â maps and banners occupied one half, while the other had become something half-resembling living quarters. Your smaller cot was placed opposite his beneath the same sloping canvas roof, separated by little more than a table crowded with candles and books. You would wake occasionally to find Ormund already seated beside the brazier in nothing but a linen shirt, reading dispatches by firelight while occasionally glancing over to see whether you were sleeping soundly.
You pretended that you were, if only to keep on watching him.
But then the late summer storms arrived; and the unforgiving deluge washed over the camp with enough violence to shake the pavilion you slept beneath. Thunder cracked like an explosion closely overhead, and you woke with another frightened gasp before remembering where you were.
Ormund was already awake, as if stirred in knowing that you were scared.
âIf youâre frightenedâŠâ he murmured from across the darkness. A flash of lightning revealed his blanketed body, and his face half-smushed into his pillow. âI imagine my bed could accommodate two people without either touching the other."
You crossed the space between your cots and climbed beneath his blankets without another word. Â
You havenât left his bed since.
The days soon settle into something almost resembling normalcy. Ormund, you find, possesses an absurd fondness for taking care of you â always making sure that youâve eaten breakfast before heâs started his mornings; delivering his wool blankets to you before you can complain that youâre cold, warming your hands between his calloused palms when he does so; and escorting you through camp with a protective hand splayed along the small of your back.
No one ever cared for you with such deliberate attention before â even Gwayne, as gentle as he was, could only love you from a respectful distance before the war had sent him off. Your husband washed away into memory, into the note left abandoned somewhere on the forest floor.Â
You did not know whether he still rode beneath banners or if his corpse had been picked clean by crows. You did know, at the very least, that Ormund was here â he was there in the mornings when you woke and each night when old fears crept back into your skin. It was a dangerous thing, you soon realized, to mistake safety for love. Or more dangerous still, to suspect that the two were any different at all.
You watch from Ormundâs bed â freshly bathed beneath your thin ivory slip, with your legs kicking lazily from where you lie on your stomach â as his squire removes pieces of his armor. A sketchbook lies open before you, alongside a collection of colored inks.
âThis is what you get for tightening the straps so much,â Ormund hums as Daeron struggles with the final buckle across the manâs broad shoulders.Â
âWell, youâd like them to remain attached, wouldnât you?â the boy quips back.
The man smiles despite himself. âYou complain more than any squire I've ever met, do you know that?â
âI learned everything from you, did I not?â
When the final piece of armor comes finally free, Ormund dismisses the boy back to his tent. The entrance cover opens and shuts behind the boy, letting in a rush of cool evening air before it closes again. Silence returns to the expansive pavilion, filled only by the crackling of burning candles.
Ormund, left only in his loose dark breeches and a linen undertunic, walks to the round table to pour himself a goblet of wine. âWhat is occupying you so completely over there?â
âIâm hard at work,â you answer vaguely.
âSo I see.â He eyes you carefully over the glugging of the flagon. A faint, unreadable flicker crosses his face. âWriting to Gwayne, are you?â
âNo,â you sigh. âIâm drawing you.â
You set the quill into the inkpot and lift the sketchbook to face the man with a girlish grin, which seems to be becoming more and more frequent as the days go by. Ormundâs light eyes squint to study the page. It was unmistakably him drawn in the ink, though perhaps only if one was exceedingly charitable. The proportions are all wrong: his nose is too large, his mouth is too small, one eye sits higher than the other, and heâs missing his left brow.
His eyes flick to meet yours again. ââŠIs that intended to be me?â he asks, motioning with the goblet in his fist.
âOf course,â you shrug like itâs obvious.
âWell,â he sighs, raising the cup to his mouth. âI had no idea that I resembled that of a rotting turnip.â
You gasp in faux-offense thatâs soon overcome by a fit of laughter. âIt is not that bad!â
âMy ladyâŠâ Ormund huffs sympathetically, abandoning his ale to saunter slowly towards the bed. âThis could be considered treasonâ I should confiscate this immediately."
âYou shall do no such thing,â you tease.
âOh really?â he croons, brows raised in amusement.
He lunges for you in an instant. You jerk back onto your haunches with a squeal, cradling the sketchbook to your chest. You dodge each of his attempts to take it with a girlish gracelessness, laughing harder with each of his failed attempts. Ormund smiles at the sound without realizing it, dropping the table of ink to the rug below before clambering onto the bed to follow you.Â
One final tug sends the book flying across the bed, and the two of you go to reach for it at the same time. The momentum carries you forward until you land clumsily against his chest, knocking the breath out of him as his back hits the mattress, with you squarely on top of him.
It takes you a long moment to realize your precarious position â your chest brushing his beneath your thin slip, noses nearly touching, breaths nearly entwining. Your laughter fades first, but you still do not move. Ormundâs smile flickers, but his hands lift to rest lightly along the arms you use to prop up your weight on top of him.
You can feel each of his warm breaths fan against your chin. You could get drunk on the ale stained on his mouth from the proximity between you alone. Closer by an inch or two and you would taste it on his lips.
âWe ought not,â Ormund murmurs lowly, as if he can read your mind.
âOught what?â
âThis,â he answers. His blue eyes flick briefly in the space separating your mouths. âYou are another manâs wife. My cousinâs wife.â
You swallow hard at the mention of Gwayne. It had been far easier to forget him, in truth. âI have not seen my husband in nearly a year,â you reply in a small voice. âI do not even know whether he yet livesâŠâ
Pain etches in Ormund's strong features before disappearing behind his usual practiced restraint. His hands tremble with the urge to smooth away the frown between your brows, but he does not allow himself the satisfaction.Â
âI swore on oath to protect you,â he says. âTo serve you in my cousinâs absence.â
You, without possessing a similar self-control, lift a hand to brush a wild curl from his temple. âAnd do you intend to keep that promise, Lord Ormund?â
He nods against the mattress. âOf course I do.â
âOkay thenâŠâ you hum as a smile tugs slowly at one corner of your mouth. âThen serve me.â
You duck down to close the distance between you without a second thought. The tip of your nose grazes the strong bridge of his as you press your lips to his chapped ones, nothing more than an experimental brushing of your mouths. You go to pull away just as quickly as you came, and whatever restraint Ormund had had before vanishes in an instant.
He lifts his head from the tousled blankets to chase your mouth, cradling your neck with a wide hide to draw you back into him again. The second kiss lands with none of the careful uncertainty of the first. This one is slower, deeper, and far more languid. His tongue licks into your mouth, tasting of wine and the mint leaves he always chews after supper. You sigh through your nose to savor it, melting further into his chest.
Your mouths move together with an awkward sort of tenderness, learning one another by the second. Ormund kisses you far rougher than Gwayne ever did â itâs all tongue and teeth and spit, as if he were committing the taste of you to memory: the meat from your supper, the berry from your tea; the guilt from your broken vows, the relief of being found after believing yourself long abandoned.
Your breath catches in your throat when Ormund suddenly takes charge, urging you onto your back with his mouth still on yours. He pulls off you with a quiet smack, wearing your spit on his rosy mouth like gloss.Â
âDo you want me to stop?â he asks with heavy eyes that dart back and forth between your glassy ones.
You shake your head against the cushions beneath you, features twisting with a pained look at the thought of stopping now.
âDo you understand what will follow? What⊠vows both of us will be breaking?â
Your eyes glisten as they dance between his blue ones. âThe war broke those vows,â you tell him, half-breathless. âNot us.â
Ormund nods wordlessly for a moment, pleased with your answer. âThen open,â he says.
Your mouth parts for him on instinct. He lifts his middle and pointer finger to your lips, wetting them on your tongue, before sliding them in between your bodies. His hand disappears beneath the skirt of your slip. Your head tips back when you feel his fingertips sliding between your velvety folds, brushing your clit before sinking into your waiting cunt.
Your sigh fills the quiet tent, accompanied by the low groan in the back of Ormundâs throat.
âYouâre softer than I imaginedâŠâ he confesses, almost to himself.
âImagining me a lot, are you?â you tease on bated breath.
âYes,â he answers without missing a beat. âI dreamt of how your cunt would wrap around me⊠of how youâd soak the sheets⊠of what noise youâd make when I moved my fingers like thisââ
A whine catches in your throat when he crooks his fingers just so, nestling the fatty part of his palm flat against your clit. Your hips buck into his hand despite yourself. Your exhaled whine is half-drowned beneath his breathy chuckle.
âThere it isâŠâ he praises.
âFuck me,â you plead, face crumpling under the weight of your need. One hand twists in his hair, while your other fists in his thin white tunic to keep him close. You only vaguely realize how little you sound like yourself as you plead: âI need it so bad, Ormund, please, fuck meââ
The man goes dizzy at the sound of your begging, as if he brought you into his camp, his tent, his bed, to do anything other than serve you.Â
His fingers glitter with your slick when he drags them out of your cunt. He brings them to his nose, nostrils flaring slightly as he inhales the scent of your musk upon them. You whine at the sight of it â half-disgusted, half-intrigued. You watch with heavy eyes when he brings the same hand into his trousers to fist his half-hard cock fully stiff for you.
Itâs a mess of tangled limbs for a moment, as you drag his shirt gracefully from his torso while he attempts to free himself from his breeches. Heâs made of tanned skin, toned muscles, and a dusting of auburn hair from his sternum to his stomach. It grows more dense at the root of his cock â which is not quite as long as Gwayneâs, but thicker still and adorned with more prominent veins.Â
Ormund works himself hard with his fist; the reddened head of his cock leaks pearly drops every time his hand moves upwards. Your mouth waters for a taste. You let him smear it along the folds of your cunt instead.
You curl your arms under his broad arms to splay your hands along his shoulder blades. They flex slightly under your touch as he leans down over you. You tense on instinct when he pierces you with the tip of his cock. âShh, shh, shh,â he soothes lowly, fighting back his own grunt as you spread so perfectly around him.
He sinks slowly into you, slow enough for you to feel every vein and ridge of his cock as he mounts you until his hips are flush with yours. Your mouth parts. He ducks down to kiss you before a moan tumbles out, swallowing the pretty sound with his mouth.Â
He stays still against you for several long, agonizing moments. Your hips buck against his in anticipation. âPlease move,â you whine, digging crescent shapes into his shoulders with your nails. âI need you so much, pleaseââ
Ormundâs jaw clenches tight. âDo you have any idea how long itâs been since Iâve been inside another woman?â
Your face screws. âIâd rather not hear about your previous exploits at the momentââ
âDonât,â Ormund spits, shuddering on top of you when you roll your hips into his once more. He grasps your thigh hard enough to dig bruises into the plush skin with the hand not holding himself up beside your head. His light eyes turn glacial in an instant, darting wildly between both of yours. âI wonât⊠I wonât lastâŠâ he confesses.
Your eyes soften around the edges with a faux innocence. âThis isnât going to be the last time you fuck me, is it?â
The crude word falls so effortlessly from your pristine mouth that it makes his cock jerk within your drooling confines. âI donât want it to be. No,â he answers, half-shy.
âThen I donât care how long you last,â you assure him with a lazy grin. âYou have kept me hostage for nearly a yearâ Surely, Iâm entitled to make some use of my captor while the realm delays the war, am I not?â
Ormundâs resolve crumbles under your permission. He rolls his hips forward and back again, never quite pulling all the way out of you. He groans quietly when you clench around the sensitive head of his cock; and you swallow down a whimper when the coarse hair below his stomach rubs mercilessly along your sensitive clit.Â
Your head tips back. He falls to the hollow space between your neck and shoulder.
Ormundâs open-mouthed breaths fan warm along your burning skin as he stumbles into a graceless rhythm, thrusting hard enough to make the wooden frame of his bed squeak quietly beneath you.Â
The pressure on your clit is relentless. You squirm underneath his sweat-slick body, chasing and running from the pleasure all at once. âI know. I know. Itâs okay,â you hear him slur against your skin. âJust take it. Just fuckinâ take itâ Fuckââ His voice breaks like splintered glass.Â
He tenses suddenly above you, taut muscles trembling. You hear his breath catch for a moment, right before a foreign warmth pools in the very pit of your stomach. He groans in time with his release, heavying his weight further against you.Â
You arenât far behind.
He grinds his hips lazily to ride out his high, smothering your sensitive clit as the warm, wet, sticky feeling continues to bloom inside of you. âOrmundââ you gasp, tensing beneath him.
âThere it isâŠâthe man praises as you tremble underneath him, smearing his lips against your jaw until they reach your parted mouth. âThere it isâ Fuck, thatâs it,look at me.â
Your eyes snap open at his command, bleary and heavy-lidded. You ride out the rest of your orgasm with your gaze locked with his glassy one.Â
The honeyed moment doesnât last nearly as long as either of you wouldâve liked.
âMy lord?â
The two of you sober in a flash as the spell between you shatters. Ormund stills suddenly above you, as if pierced by steel. The warmth flees from his features at once, replaced by the hard composure of the commander of House Hightower. You, too, freeze where you lay beneath him â pulse thrumming hard in your throat as the muffled voice drifts once more through the pavilion.
âMy lordââ
âYes, Daeron,â Ormund spits through gritted teeth, nostrils flaring as he breathes through the rage searing in his chest. âWhat is it?â
The squire hesitates at his uncleâs harsh tone. âForgive me for the intrusion, my lordâŠâ the boy says carefully, hidden behind the covered entrance. âBut a messenger arrived from the river road. He bears urgent word from Ser Cristonâs camp.â
You feel your stomach sink â or, perhaps, itâs only the mixture of cum seeping out of your still fluttering confines, soaking the sheets beneath you. You feel unspeakably dirty now, and the lack of regret only deepens the feeling.
Ormund remains motionless above you for a moment before sitting back on his haunches. You shiver at the absence of his warmth, and wince slightly when his softening cock slips out of you. âA letter?â he calls to the entrance, brows lowered. âWhat news?â
âIt is sealed, my lord,â Daeron says. âThe messenger said it was to be opened by our hand alone.â
Ormundâs confusion deepens. âAnd who sends it?â
After another brief hesitation, the voice answers solemnly: âSer Gwayne, my lord.â
a princess wed to a dashing knight should be living a fairytaleâbut gwayne hightower is also the son of the schemer who would soon plunge the realm into civil war. how long can you resist his charms... when he proves time and again that his affection is as genuine as his honor?
genre/warnings:
arranged marriage, unrequited love, hurt/comfort, yearning, jealousy, mentions of injury & blood, fluff and lots of kissing afterwards, sunshine!gwayne and grumpy!reader, political drama, targaryen!reader (reader is rhaenyra's younger sister), spoilers! takes place in season 1 of house of the dragon
notes:
gif by @/bladeofdreadfort. wc. 4.5k ! hotd s3 is finally here and so does my man gwayne <3 i really loved writing this so i hope youâll enjoy it!
For the longest time, Gwayne had known that the matter of his marriage were not his to ponder. As the son of the Hand of the King, his future was a tapestry woven by him in a series of cunning, calculated moves.
Yet, he had never truly expected to be betrothed to youâa princess of the realm.
The young princess for the queenâs brother. By every measure, it was a masterful stroke of politics and his father had once again outdone himself. After binding his sister to the king, it was now his turn to seek the heart of the realmâs most coveted maiden after the Princess Rhaenyra.
However, to Gwayne, you were more than just a political alliance. You were a paragon of beauty, the girl haunting his dreams, the princess who has stolen his heartâ
But seven hells, were you also one hard lady to entice.
Every charming smile he threw your way was met with an arched, unimpressed brow. Every poetic compliment he rehearsed tasted like ash and shattered against your coldness. You didnât swoon like the ladies at the tourney grounds, nor did you soften at his obvious attempts to woo you.
Instead, you looked at him as if you could see right through the nervous man underneath.
Your assessing gaze was currently fixed on him from the shade of the courtyard gallery. Down in the dirt, Gwayne was sweating through his padded doublet, trying his absolute best to look formidable as his sword clashed against his squireâs shieldâbecause he knew you were watching.
He has to look good. Your wedding was in three weeks, so he was fighting to impressâdetermined to give you a show of how your betrothed was as dashing as the realm claimed him to be.
With theatrical flair, he executed an aggressive sequence before driving his squire back with a heavy strike, deftly sweeping the poor ladâs legs out from under him, and sending him sprawling into the dirt with a breathless thud.
Breathing heavily, Gwayne smoothly rested the point of his sword near the fallen boyâs chest in a classic pose of victory.
âYou are just dead,â he declared with his signature grin, before turning to where you were.
You leaned against the stone balustrade, looking down at him with an expression of mild, patronizing amusement. He flashed you a hopeful, boyish grin that begged for even a shred of your approval.
And as if deciding to grace him with your presence, you descended down the stone stairs. Gwayneâs smile widened, and he met you halfway as you reached the bottom.
Ignoring the staring stableboys, he dipped his head and took your hand, placing a kiss on it.
âPrincess,â he greeted, his dark blue eyes meeting yours with an excited crinkle.
âAn impressive display, Ser Gwayne,â you replied, smoothly pulling your hand back from his grasp. He was giddy, about to thank you for the compliment, whenâ
âI must commend your passion. It takes a truly remarkable knight to exert such effort against a boy half his size who is actively paid to lose to him.â
Gwayne winced slightly, but the grin quickly returned to his face, refusing to let your sharp tongue deter him.
âA knight, no matter the age, must practice for all manner of foes. It shall be a good lesson for my squire to learn,â he countered softly. He had always been a naturally courteous man, but he had been practicing an extra measure of gentleness ever since the betrothal was announced, even when you remained frosty.
He hoped that you would recognize itâthat you would see he was willing to bend his pride just for you.
However, you merely lifted your chin higher, your eyes flashing with a challenge.
âIs that so? My, what a chivalrous soul you are. I suppose I shall sleep soundly knowing you are defending the realm with your immense prowess and formidable army of squires.â
One thing he could never truly understand, though... he hadnât asked for this match any more than you had, yet why did you look at him as you would a liar?
And it hurts because... he remembers how the more innocent, younger you, who had wiped blood from his face, hadnât looked at him as you do now.
âWe are to be married in no less than a moon,â he reminded you, still with a smile. âTell me, Princess... what must a man do to earn a genuine compliment from his bride?â
You held his gaze for a beat, letting the silence stretch just long enough to watch the slight twitch in his jaw. Then, a devastatingly sweet smile graced your lips as you tilted your head.
âCompliments are but wind, my good ser. If we are to marry soon anyways, what use would flattering you with empty words do?â
Gwayne let out a defeated chuckle. âI shall just continue striving to become a man worthy of your hand, then.â
You had just insulted him and mocked his swordsmanship in the same breath, and yet, somehow, he still found himself tethered to you still.
What a fool he was.
He didnât give up just like that, of course. Gifts was also Gwayneâs language of affection.
He had commissioned a seven-pointed star necklace for you in Oldtown, crafted from the finest silver and diamond. He had watched his late mother and sister find such profound comfort in it, and so he had believed it would make a fine gift for you.
Yet, now that he presented the gleaming jewelry to you, you were rendered silent.
âYou do not like it,â he realized, a note of disappointment building through his usual confidence.
âIt is exquisite. Truly,â you started, your voice gentle but lacking the reverence he had anticipated. âBut... you must not expect me to wear it often.â
âIs it the design? If it offends your sensibilities, I can have it redone, orââ
âI assure you, I know your intentions are kind,â you looked at him, a certain sternness in your eyes. âIt is just a matter of preference, is all. I treasure this necklace from my mother rather greatly, and wearing it is how I keep her close to me.â
The tragic death of Queen Aemma was not so easily forgotten, least of all when you resembled her so much. Gwayneâs smile faltered, the enthusiasm in his eyes dimming when his gaze found the sapphire necklace of Arryn falcon on your neck, a heirloom passed down.
He looked down at the silver star resting in the wooden box, suddenly finding it so plain, before forcing himself to meet your gaze again.
âI just want you to know that... you are in my thoughts, constantly,â he murmured, his gaze rising to meet yours again. âWhenever I see something I consider beautiful, I think of you. I want you to have it. You should know I have no underlying intentions other than that.â
You gave him an appreciative nod, pursing your lips together. âYour kind thoughts are much appreciated.â
So he had failed, again. Sigh.
What better way to impress your betrothed and prove to the entire realm that you were worthy of her hand than by claiming victory at the Kingâs nameday tourney?
Even you would at least bestow a real smile upon him. That was what Gwayne was after.
Or at least, it was until his gaze drifted to the edge of the battlement grounds where the knights were assembling. There, he saw you.
With Criston Cole.
The sight struck him. You, who usually looked at him with indifference, were attentive, your eyes bright in a way Gwayne had never managed to make them. Cole, in turn, had a reserved smile, his attention entirely locked onto you.
It could have been anyone but Cristonâthe Dornishman!âCole. Why him?!
A sharp spike of resentment flared in his chest. He decided right then and there that this cannot stand, and marched towards you both.
âGood day, Ser Criston,â Gwayne greeted with a forced smile, his voice dripping with a courtly cheer that didnât quite reach his eyes.
Cole returned his greeting, and he turned to you then. âMy betrothed, fancy to have found you here. You shouldnât have to sully yourself with the dirt.â
âI was merely wishing Ser Criston luck in the lists.â As always, the corners of your lips curled into that faux smile whenever facing him. âThe competition looks fierce today.â
What about him? You hadnât thought of wishing him, your own groom, luck?
âFierce for some, mayhaps,â Gwayne nodded, his smile sharpening as he took another step forward, deliberately cutting off Criston Coleâs line of sight to you. He reached out, his gauntleted hand gently but firmly taking yours.
âBut I sure do not fear a crowd of knights of modest beginnings and second sons. And I have hoped that I might find you in the stands later, and you would bestow upon me your favor to assure me of my victory.â
He looked down at you, the forced arrogance in his eyes momentarily cracked. He wanted you to look at him the way you had just looked at Cole, really.
But cruel, relentless you never granted it so easily.
âYour romantic sensibilities are commendable, ser.â You let out a soft sigh, as if lamenting, âbut victory is still guaranteed by skill and the favor of the Seven, and not merely from a scrap of silk.â
The rejection was subtle, but in the presence of Criston Cole, it felt like a public execution.
âIt is said even a scrap of favor from oneâs bride can turn the tide of many battles,â Gwayne replied, his voice dropping an octave as the last traces of courtly cheer evaporated. âUnless, of course, your favor has already been promised to someone else?â
His eyes flicked towards Cole, searching for a reason to draw steel before the tourney even began. And that Dornish wretch had the gall to look at him in the eyes and retorted:
âMay the best knight win, ser.â
Your betrothed had become terribly displeased and you knew it. Your hollow smile deepened, you stepped forward and smoothly slid your hand into the crook of his arm.
âNo, no. You are free to ask me for it later, of course, my dear.â
Gwayne knew better that the honeyed words held no real affection. Yet, like a moth drawn to a flame, he couldnât help but fall for it each and every time.
You held his leash, and you knew exactly how far you could play with and stretch it. But as he looked at you, a quiet ache settled in his soul.
Is it truly so wrong of him to seek your heart? How much longer would he have to endure this torment, giving everything while his affections remained completely unreturned?
âFrom today to the day we breathe our last, all that I am is yours.â
That was the first thing he told you when the betrothal was announced. In a den of vipers, Gwayne Hightower was entirely his own man.
He didnât possess the calculating ambition of his father, who viewed every living soul as a piece in his game of thrones. Nor was he prudent like his sister, Queen Alicent, whose motto in life was duty and sacrifice.
You know that. You really knew that your chosen betrothed was everything but unkind. He was everything the songs promised a knight should beâ genuine, posh, with a touch of arrogance that made him charming. He held you in high regard, and his attempts to make an impression on you were sweet.
Despite how you behaved around him, the truth was... it took everything in you not to fall for Ser Gwayne Hightower.
But he is still Ottoâs son. You hated the Lord Hand with every fiber of your beingâthe manâs thirst for power had already forced your childhood companion Alicent into your fatherâs bed, turned your sister Rhaenyra into a scheming cynic, and your own betrothal to Gwayne was just another piece of his grand design.
However, watching the tourney unfold from the royal box, your thoughts swirled with guilt and anxiety. In the end, he hadnât asked for your favor at all. Ironically, his sudden silence unsettled you far more than his persistence ever had.
Looking back on your interactions, the weight of your biting marks pressed heavily against your chest. You had rejected him so many times, using your faux smiles and sharp wit as shields. Every time you remembered the look of hurt that crossed his face before he masked it with a patient smile, a fresh wave of guilt washed over you.
Did he deserve to be punished just for pursuing you? Was it fair to make him pay for his fatherâs sins?
Down in the dirt, Gwayne rode beautifully, unseating two seasoned knights from the Reach and splitting lances with a Lannister to thunderous applause from the crowd. For a moment, watching his silver and green armor gleam in the sunlight, a spark of pride flared in your chest.
Then, Ser Criston Cole rode onto the field.
The tension between the two men was palpable even from the high stands. They chargedâ one lance shattered, then a second. By the third pass, it was clear it was a matter of pride.
And on the fourth pass, the collision was catastrophic.
With a terrifying crack that echoed across the grounds, Coleâs lance struck dead center. Gwayne was violently unseated, flung from his saddle to hit the earth with a sickening crash.
A collective gasp sucked the air from the stands. Through the rising dust, you saw your betrothed lying completely still. Coleâs lance hadnât just brokenâ it had compromised his armor. His steel breastplate was shattered to pieces, the shards visibly lodged into his chest, dark blood already pooling through the fractures.
Your breath hitched, your hand flying to your mouth in horror.
Six years ago, a similar scene had paralyzed your heart the very same way. Blind to the rules of propriety, you bolted from the royal box. Pushing past lords and ladies, you sprinted down into the arenaâdesperate to reach him.
The maesters and several squires had already swarmed him, unbuckling the undamaged pieces of his armor with hurried hands. Gwayne was propped up against a wooden barrier, half-conscious, his head lolling to the side as his eyes struggled to hold focus.
âWill he be alright?â your voice cracked, almost shrill, the composed facade of a princess shattered as you hovered over the maesters working on him. âTell me he will be alright.â
âThe steel hasnât pierced the heart, Princess, but we must move him to immediately to extract the shards,â one of them mumbled, wrapping a temporary cloth around the wound to stem the bleeding.
Gwayne let out a low, guttural groan at the pressure, his eyelids fluttering. Through the haze of pain, he recognized your voice. He knew you were there.
Driven by a sudden, overwhelming surge to comfort him, you dropped to your knees beside him. Your hands were trembling as you reached out, using the hem of your sleeve to wipe away the grime and blood that smeared his pale cheek.
But before your fingers could trace his jawline, Gwayneâs gauntleted hand came up. With a sudden burst of remaining strength, he swatted your hand awayâ
âDo not touch me,â he rasped.
The words were raw and bitter, dripping with an icy venom you had never heard from him before.
. . .
Gwayne refused to meet your gaze. He pressed his eyes shut, his jaw clenched so tightly the bone practically strained against his skin.
It wasnât just the physical agony tearing him apart. It was the suffocating, absolute humiliation.
He had lost. He had been unseated and laid low in the dirt in front of the entire realmâand worse, in front of Criston Cole. He couldnât bear to see the pity in your eyes. He couldnât bear to look at the woman he loved and see confirmation that he was exactly what you always thought of him: unworthy.
âIâmâ fine,â he choked out then. âSo... go back to the Keep.â
It was funny how this was the same thing that had happened to him six years ago, during the Heirâs Tourney. He had been brutally unseated by Daemon Targaryen then, and just like now, you had come running to him, wiping the blood from his broken nose with your kerchief.
He fell in love with you then... and he has been in love with you ever since.
The girl holding his heart was a princess, and he had never dared to hope for more, never dreaming his conniving father would actually arrange your hand for him. He had thought it a blessing.
But his pursuit of you the past three moons had yielded nothing but a bitter truthâ you despised him.
So he preferred to choke on the blinding pain, to let it consume him entirely, rather than suffer the indignity of your comfort.
You are in love with him.
You had spent weeks trying to resent the circumstances that led to your marriage with Otto Hightowerâs son, reminding yourself over and over that he had fractured your family, sowing seeds of rebellion that would break once Alicentâs son came to age, and it would spell disaster upon you allâ
But the wounded knight with broken nose six years ago had long since owned a part of your heart, and one week without Gwayne Hightower persistent on your heel, you had found yourself... sad.
âMrawgh...â
âIâm not lonely,â you mumbled petulantly, brushing a hand against Grey Ghostâs silver scales as the dragon curled up, blinking his golden eyes shut to rest.
To occupy yourself, you spent the days with your dragon in the Dragonpit. Tending to Grey Ghost made the long hours pass fasterâ he was a recluse and not keen on flying often, but his quiet presence matched your somber mood.
Leaving him to his slumber, you walked away lost in your thoughts, entirely failing to notice how slippery the stone ledge had become.
Your foot caught on a heavy iron ring embedded in the floor. The world tilted as you stumbled backwards, losing your footing entirely. You braced for a painful impact against the stone floor, but a pair of strong arms wrapped securely around your waist, arresting your descent.
A sharp, ragged gasp left your saviorâs lips. As you stabilized, you realized your hands had instinctively braced against his chestâpressing right over the bandages of the fresh wound.
âSteady there,â the redhead managed, a strained smile tight on his lips as he gently set you back on your feet. His green tunic made you realize who he wasâ
âGwayne!â you breathed. Your hands hovered over him, trembling, almost terrified to touch him again. âWhy are youâyour wound! I didnât mean toââ
âI am fine, truly,â he assured you, his voice softening as he offered a warm, comforting smile. âIt is but a scratch, Princess. It takes more than a clumsy tumble from you to injure me.â
Just like a hundred times before, Gwayne Hightower sought you out. You could see the sheen of sweat on his forehead and how he looked pale stillâ
From today to the day we breathe our last, all that I am is yours.
âYou are supposed to be resting!â Your voice rose despite yourself. âWhy are you here?!â
This wasnât what you wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell him a lot of other things! Like he was a fool, and that you would forbid him to enter the lists once you two were wed, that you couldnât bear the thought of losing himâ
His blue eyes crinkled with that familiar kindness as he reached out, softly tucking a stray strand of your loose hair behind your ear.
âIf I wasnât here, then you would take a fall.â His voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. âI canât very well let my betrothed hurt herself before our big day, can I?â
This was the first time since King Viserys announced your betrothal three moons ago that you looked genuinely worried for him. It made something inside him burst with joy, even if it was tinged with a bitter aftertaste.
Gwayneâs thumb gently brushed across the back of your hand that was still pressed against his chest.
âTell me... Is this the only way I could truly have your attention? Must I be grievously injured, a step away from Deathâs door, for you to look at me like this?â
Your eyes widened by a fraction. Precious, precious girl. He chuckled softly, a teasing glint brightened his eyes.
Just this once, could he be allowed to be just a little bit cruel?
âEven if you keep looking at me with those beautiful eyes...â he whispered, his smile turning a little wistful, â...my heart might just run out, one of these days.â
He gave you one last, kind smileâa look of affection that no longer held expectations, or reeked of the politics that bound your families. Then, he gently gripped your hand, pulling it away from him before turning on his heel to leave you to your own devices.
When your fingers fell limp into the cold air, a stinging realization pierced through you like a dagger:
Is this how he feels? Is this what he endures every time I evade him? How has he survived it over and over?
As his warmth retreated into the shadows of the Dragonpit, something sharp tore deep inside your chest.
You didnât want him to go. The walls you had spent weeks building to protect your heart against the Hightower name crumbled into dust. Your eyes burned with tears that blurred his retreating figure.
He was nearly out of the pit when you gathered your skirts, abandoning your pride, and ran after him.
âSer Gwayne!â
Before he could turn back, you lunged, throwing your pride and your fears to the wind. You crashed into his back, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist, burying your face against his spine. He stiffened, almost flinchingâ
But then he heard you sob.
âPrincess...?â he asked softly. His tone shifted, turning from startled confusion to a protective concern as he carefully turned around within your embrace. He reached up, gently tilting your chin up, only to find your cheeks flushed and wet with tears.
Realizing you were truly, genuinely weeping, Gwayneâs breath hitched in his throat.
He didnât think. He didnât let past rejections dictate him. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his uninjured side.
âShh, please do not weep,â he said in your ear, his own voice suddenly thick with emotion as he rocked you slightly. âDarling... please.â
Darling. Why did the word sound so devastatingly sweet in your ears? As you clung to him, you realized with absolute certainty that you wanted him to call you that for the rest of your days.
As he held you, feeling the warmth of your hands anchoring yourself to him, the pieces finally fell into place:
Has she... returned my feelings?
When your sobs finally quieted and your breathing turned calmer, you gently pulled back just enough to look up at him. Your eyes met his, and an ache settled in your chest.
He was such a beautiful man. Red hair, blue eyes, with ghost of dimplesâ still the very same wounded knight you had secretly harbored affections for with all those years ago.
Driven by a clear wave of clarity, you didnât wait for him to speak. Reaching up, you stood on your toes and pulled him down by his collarâ
âand pressed your lips to his.
Gwayne went rigid at your sudden boldness. But as your fingers tangled into his soft hair, any lingering shock vanished. With a low groan, he leaned into you, capturing your mouth in a kiss that felt like the bursting of a dam.
He drank in your sighs, his lips moving against yours with a desperate longing, as if he were trying to memorize the taste of you. He pulled you closer, his hands tilting your head back, anchoring you to him.
âYou really areââ he growled against your mouth, his breath hot and ragged, âmy utter undoing, Princess.â
Before the words could even fully register, you gasped as he gathered you up and hoisted you backwards, setting you down onto the broad stone railing.
Gwayne stepped between your thighs, pinning you to the ledge as his mouth descended on yours once more, even more ravenous than before. The kiss became a blur of lips, tongues, and breathless gaspsâ
His hands left your face to map the lines of your body, his palm sliding down the column of your throat to the curve of your shoulders. In his mindâs eye, he was already stripping away the heavy, suffocating layers of your gown, picturing the soft, aching swell of your breasts and the intoxicating dip of your waist.
In less than a week... as soon as you swear your oaths before the Seven, he would be graced by that sight.
Gwayne dragged his lips down from your mouth, leaving a trail of scorching kisses along your jawline before burying his face in the crook of your neck.
âSer Gwayneââ your voice came hitched, and that what brought him back to reality.
He bit softly at the sensitive skin there, swallowing the fire that was about to consume him. When he finally pulled away to breathe, his lips lingered against yours.
âWell, you did kiss me first, Princess,â Gwayne murmured, his eyes twinkling, voice delightfully raspy as his arms settled loosely around your waist. âIf I had known a broken rib would finally get you to kiss me, I would have marched up to Grey Ghost and asked him to toss me by the tail weeks ago.â
âPlease donât,â you giggled, circling your arms around his neck.
âAh, but think of the romanceâ a dashing knight, battered and bruised, crawling back from the Dragonpit just to collapse into his brideâs arms.â
A breathless laugh escaped your lips, giving way to a very sweet, genuine smile. To Gwayne Hightower, this was the prettiest you had ever been, and his heart throbbed.
Oh, so she does, he realized, a quiet reverence settling into his soul. She does return my affections.
Gwayne leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, finally certain that his heart was safe in your hands.
âYou might not know it,â he whispered, âbut I have been in love with you for a very long time.â
You looked up at him, your eyes bright with unshed tears, and he met your gaze with a look of such devotion it stole the breath from your lungs.
âSo let me say this once again. From before, now and until the day we breathe our last, all that I am... is yours.â
In that moment, you couldnât have known that the realm would soon be plunged into a senseless civil war, pitting your sister against his in a dance of dragons and blood. You couldnât have foreseen the ashes, the betrayals, or the heavy price the Hightower green and the Targaryen black would have to pay.
None of that matters right now. All you wanted was to lose yourself in his embrace and savor the fragile perfection of your wedding to the man of your dreams... for as long as it would last.
- ser gwayne hightower x rhaenyraâs daughter!reader
synopsis. Ser Gwayne Hightower is tasked with escorting you, the sole daughter of the newly anointed Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, across the Reach and into the Crownlands as part of a deal securing amnesty for House Hightower. Along the way, you realize you do not hate him as much as you thought.
contents. smut, angst, slowburnish, reader is rhaenyraâs eldest daughter (around the same age as aegon) and silverwingâs rider and is so spoiled that she has never seen a baby chick before, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, grief, show elements but also canon divergence, sex pollen, oral (f recieving), fingering, p in v, loss of virginity, multiple orgasms, cum eating, bath sex, reader is comically oblivious at some points, gwayne needs you so bad
a/n. 13.5k words wow big day for me, spoilers for the show?, inspired by a request i got (thank you very much anon wherever you are), inspired by the film lady chatterlyâs lover at some points, takes place directly after jace dies and rhaenyra takes the throne
It was a glum day, the day you were told your brother was dead, and you were alone with the usurperâs uncle. The dreadâthat feeling that something was just wrongâsettled deep in your stomach before the words came out of his mouth.
The Hightower army had found you many months prior, nearly deceased following an attack on your dragon, Silverwing. You had told her to fly home to Dragonstone, to leave you, and you have lived off of the hope that she made it back safe.
They took you as prisoner that day, and in spite of all you thought of them, they did not treat you too horribly. You believed it was like preparing a pig for slaughter, though, so you never wavered in your loyalty to your mother. You would die as a Black. It was not going to take the threat of death to let a word of the Green agenda come from your mouth.
Surprisingly, it was your cousin, Daeron, who offered you the most kindness. He was the only person you could yield to in the entire Hightower base. You could only pray he wasnât relaying every conversation youâd had back to the Lord Ormund Hightower.
Everyone else treated you like you were common. Specifically Ser Gwayne Hightower.
He was rudeâand vainâand arrogant. He was irritating. When he would try to make conversation, you would always end up in a fight. And it was just your luck for him to be the one instructed to take you on a multiple-week-long journey from the Reach and back to your rightful home in the Red Keep.
He was the one to tell you that your mother had taken Kingâs Landing back. You assume your mother saw it fit to have the Queen Dowagerâs brother be the one to accompany you, because maybe she has something in store for him when you make it there. Perhaps a beheading? He could do without the ability to speak.
Then he was the one to tell you that you would join her in Kingâs Landing. That you were finally going home. It was the only thing to come from his mouth that made you joyful.
You overheard chatter that by you departing the Reach as soon as the letter was received, and by you making it back unharmed, House Hightower would be granted something close to immunity for their role in the war. You knew it was something a lie. Your mother and stepfather would never let the Green beasts live with what they had doneânot only to you, but to her son too. To your mother herself.
The thought of what your mother might be doing to the Dowager Queen now gave you anxiety from being excluded. You should expect that theyâll be calling for Daeronâs capture too, though perhaps you will be able to put in a good word for himâget him sent to the Wall instead of hanged.
Speaking of Daeron, he was already somewhere distant when you had finished gathering your belongings, even though the things you owned in the encampment were scarce. You had said your goodbyes to each other not long agoâhe claimed he had to prepare for something with Lord Ormund, and that he would not be available the next morning, for your departure.
You were, as expected, ready to leave. You had wanted to lie down and rest so that the next morning would come sooner, but Ser Gwayne had called you into his tent for one final word.
âThere was something else written in the letter. Something I believe should have been saved for a calm moment, such as this,â he begun, and held up the refolded parchment which illustrated the clemency that would be provided to House Hightower upon your safe return to Kingâs Landing. âWould you prefer to read it, or shall I?â
The glint in his eye was one of compassion. You did not like it.
You shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. âProceed.â
He raised his brows, pressing his lips together before giving a heavy sigh and opening the parchment back again. The fingers that gripped either side of it seemed to waver. His eyes quickly found the line he had so desperately wanted to read.
He inhaled a heavy breath. âThe Prince of Dragonstone and heir to the Iron Throne Jacaerys Velaryon was slain in battle against the Triarchy Fleet. He was struck down by crossbow fire alongside his dragon, Vermax, in the waters off the Gullet.â
Gwayne let his hands drop slowly, and he sealed the parchment back. He looked back up at you.
Your head was shaking back and forth. Denying his words, maybe. The movement had come naturally, and you could not stop it.
âIs this a jest?â you exhaled a small laugh, hoping it would work to quell the distress already coursing through your veins.
You knew it was not a jest.
You knew if the war did not end soon then he would die in some violent, gruesome way, but to hear it confirmed was something entirely different. To hear it confirmed by a Hightower was something worse. The primal need for the man before you dead, perhaps in such a way your own brother was killed, washed over you in an instant.
He remained silent at your question. "It pains me, though your brother's death does not alter our course,â he said instead. âWe shall depart at first light.â
It pains him?
You will show him something that pains him.
There was a lengthy distance between the two of you already, but you quickly closed it as you rushed across to smack him across his cheek.
Your hand stung, yet you did not wait for his reaction. Instead, you turned on your heel and left the tent.
Jace did not hit you until the fresh air did, and you let yourself shed the tears that you had pushed back into your sockets. The tears that you could notâwould notâlet fall in front of the enemy.
day one
You never liked Gwayne. He was arrogant, and he would treat you as if you werenât the daughter of the Queenâor more importantly to them, the granddaughter of King Viserys, and the niece of their usurper.
The ride up the roseroad so far had been silent. He had tried, but you did not speak a word in response. It pains me, he had said, and then he practically told you to get over it and go home! He is moronic, and conceited. It pains you that you have to make this journey with him.
If need be, you could be doing this by yourself. Youâre fierce enough to ride aloneâgods, youâre essentially already riding alone, Gwayneâs useless self.
Your brothers taught you to be fierce, in spite of their age. Jace had always insisted on letting you spar with them in the yard of the Red Keep, and you learned quite well from it. You certainly couldnât beat a knight with your skills, but it had helped you gain a certain confidence that princesses tend not to have.
Aegon had never liked you practicing with them. Neither did Ser Criston. You did beat the usurper onceâcaught him off guard and swept him out from under his feetâwhich must have bruised his ego in the process, as he felt it just to push you to the ground when your back was turned right after. That earned him a clout in the ear from Ser Harwin.
You chuckle to yourself recalling the memoryâspecifically Aegonâs stupid face when he realized who had hit him, and more specifically when Ser Harwin did not get in trouble for itâand you notice Gwayne looking at you in your peripheral. The smile is wiped clean off of your face.
âDoes something amuse you?â he mutters.
When you look over to see him, he is glowering at you, his upper lip lifted with judgment.
âI understand you may not have many fond memories to look back on when times are tiresome, but I do.â You look forward at the road ahead.
He scoffs out a laugh. âI have many fond memories.â
âTell me one,â you counter.
All you can hear is the wind blowing through the trees. Ser Gwayne Hightower, the parentless knight, no recollections to look back on fondly.
Gwayne sucks in a breath. âI do not have to.â
âThat is what I thought.â You smirk to yourself, and lightly kick the side of your horse, forcing it forward and ahead of him.
day two
You were unsure if you should speak the words you did, but they had just slipped out at a certain point.
âI take it you did not care much for Jace.â Your gaze had already been trained on the head of your horse. It seemed hard to look anywhere else.
You and Gwayne had been mindlessly trekking forward all morning, both of your eyes still heavy with the slumber that you had lacked, sleeping in an inn on top of stiff beds.
âWhat makes you say that, princess?â he asks.
âYou are a Hightower. Your sister is the Dowager Queen. Your nephew is the usurper. You kill for themââ you look over to him. He has been staring at you the whole time, and he looks quite furious.
âI believe you will find I do not have much of a choice in the matter,â he interjects sharply.
Your head shakes. âEveryone has a choice.â
He huffs. âWhat do you reckon I do? Desert my army? Get caught and hanged for treason?â
âI would.â You look back at the road ahead. âI should.â
Gwayne sighs, and returns his attention to the road as well. âWe both have duties, my princess. Duties one cannot simply run from once they get to be too demanding.â
âEssos is said to be nice this time of year.â
A short laugh escapes him. âEssos is said to be nice all times of the year.â
You let out a heavy, deflated sigh. âWould it not be nice? Iâm sure they donât care about who we are there. We could be free. You could be a sellsword, and IâŠâ your thought trails off. You cannot think of what you would be somewhere like Essos.
âYou could be a scribe,â Gwayne says sincerely.
You nod. âI could.â
The idea of a life in Essos, perhaps with Gwayne, seems appealing at the very moment. The lack of sleep much be getting to you.
It does seem nice. Abandoning your name, as much as you are loyal to it, could be the best decision that you have made. He seems to want the same, if you convince yourself his words werenât just tactical, some way to earn your empathy so that you will convince your mother to spare him once you reach the Red Keep.
If the war would not come to an end with her taking of the throne, you would have to escape there yourself. And if Gwayne wanted to come with you, if he was still alive by the time you left, you might just be willing to take him with you. Silverwingâwho had surely made it back to Dragonstoneâwas large enough to saddle two.
day three
The inn you would stay in tonight would be much worse than the last. Not only because of the stiff beds, but because of the lack of them too.
Gwayne knew of the ones that would not ask any questions while not costing all the coins in his possession. So far they had been shit, but they had been true to their history of keeping quiet with matters that did not concern them, as far as you both knew.
You would remain outside with your cloak hood pulled tight over your head and your body facing a wall until Gwayne would come fetch you to take you to the room.
He would refer to you as his squire to the innkeepers and guests who questioned your presence. If they had questioned your demeanor, he would call you reserved and paranoid. Nobody had asked anything past that, but if they did, he was prepared to tell them that you had been tormented by some childhood event.
When Gwayne had taken you to your room that night, you had not expected to be faced with a singular bed.
âHave you gotten your own room?â you had asked, not realizing until you had drawn off the cloak from your head that there was only one mattress before you.
Gwayne only shrugged. âIt was all that remained. The innkeeper told me that puppeteers are traveling in town, and all seem to be staying here.â
You could not contain your fury at the thought of sharing a bed with him. Or making him sleep on the floor. âHow many fucking puppeteers are there?â you demanded, body tense with unreasonable anger.
He scoffed out a laugh. âMy princess, it isnât exactly the largest inn.â He had already begun shucking off his armor, as well as ridding himself of his gambeson and chausses. âYou will live. I will sleep on the floor.â
âAre you sure? Canât you speak with the innkeeper?â
âThere is no need to draw any more attention to us. And what, princess, will you be sleeping on the floor in place of me?â he mocked, already in knowledge of the answer. âDo not fret over it. I have slept in worse places.â
You were silenced at that, and had called him for help with undoing your dress. The whole ordeal was strangely impersonal. He had done it the night before, and you felt nothing. Perhaps it be the exhaustion both of you had carried.
The two of you had retired to your respective sleeping areas shortly afterward, both clad in just your smallclothes.
Later that night, you found yourself wide awake, shivering in the relentless cold that seemed to break in past the shut windows.
Gwayne had been sleeping on the floor furthest from where you were lying on the bed. You assumed he was sleeping as well, but it was strangely silent. You had expected to hear the soft breathing of someone consumed by their slumber, though all you heard was the whistling of wind outside.
And your heart still held unpleasant sympathy for where he had been forced to rest. If your thoughts were true, he was not sleeping at all.
âSer?â you whisper.
âIs something wrong?â you hear from below.
You smile at his voice. No, at being right. You do not smile at his presence, you smile because you like being right. You rolled over then, the mattress groaning beneath you, to stare at the dim expanse of the side where he lay.
âAre you comfortable there, on the floor?â you question, smile piercing through your words.
He scoffs. âYou jest, princess, but I have no doubt that this floor is just as soft as the mattress you lay on.â
You were hit with a flurry of breathless laughter at his words. It must be your lack of sleep. You could hear him chuckle too after some point, but both of you had been slowly silenced as the seconds passed until you could only hear the commotion outside again.
Perhaps you should invite him to sleep alongside you. You are not without mercy. Of course, it would be strictly unromantic, not like how a wife and her husband might find one another on restless nights such as this one.
âWould you like to put that to the test?â you say without a second thought.
Gwayne clears his throat. âI would not want to invade on your solace, princess.â
âThere is plenty of room for you.â You crawl across the bed to see him.
Your eyes find him as he thoughtlessly fiddles with the edge of his chemise, and as he freezes once he meets your gaze.
You beam down at him again. âAnd it would bring me solace, knowing you were sleeping the slightest bit easier.â
âAre you sure of it?â
âI am.â You think it is the sleep deprivation deluding you. You would never act like this normally. He can sense it too.
He slowly rises from his position on the ground, and multiple bones crackle once he stands.
You roll back over to your side of the bed, watching as he joins you. He seems tense, especially as you join him under the covers.
The two of you lie in bridled silence, neither one of you able to fall asleep. A chill runs through you from the temperature, and Gwayneâs head swivels to look at you.
You turn over on your side to meet his gaze, expecting him to say something. He does not, and looks back up at the ceiling instead.
Your brain, clouded by the fact that you are simultaneously freezing cold and devastatingly fatigued, opens, then pauses as you search for the words.
âAre you cold as well?â you mumble.
Gwayne shrugs nonchalantly. âSlightly.â
You chuckle mirthlessly. âI am.â The sheets suddenly feel rough against your skin. âMore than slightly.â
âI can ask the innkeeper for another quilt.â
His earlier words flash back to you. âThere is no need to draw any more attention to us,â you repeat.
You see the corner of his lip turn upward. âWhat do you reckon I do, then, princess?â he asks, and you reach out to touch his arm.
The muscle quickly tightens under your hold.
âYouâre warm.â You move closer to him. âIf we lie close together, we might just make it through the night.â
That is how you ended up huddled next to Ser Gwayne Hightower for the rest of the night.
You were unaware of the fact that he was lying frozen next to you, and that he did not get a wink of sleep, especially as you mindlessly slung an arm around his middle in your slumber. And as your nipples, solid from the cool breeze that had seeped in through the windows, brushed up against him as you shifted throughout the night.
day four
Gwayne had stopped to relieve himself when you heard them.
The myriad of chirps from some kind of birds had caught your attention, and you had jumped from your horse in an instant, following the sound.
You found yourself on the edge of an open field, behind some bushes, as you looked down to some small yellow birds that werenât flying away. You deduce that they must like your presence.
It wasnât long before Gwayne anxious voice interrupted your calm, calling your name just moments before stumbling upon you.
âWhat are they?â you whisper.
âChicks,â he responds, in a normal tone. At your silence, he continues, âbaby chickens.â
âTruly?â you question, head cocked to the side, watching them.
Gwayne stares at you. âHave you⊠never seen chicks before?â
âNo, onlyâŠâ you turn your head to him, âchickens.â You shrug.
He shakes his head with a theatrical sort of despair. It would have seemed real if the corners of his lips were not upturned.
âYou truly are a princess,â he mutters, and crouches down to the ground.
You stoop down alongside him, watching as the chicks run past one another, chirping quietly.
âCan I touch one?â you mumble.
He gestures with a chin toward the chirping bunch. âGo on, then.â
You reach down to one of the animals, but you canât quite seem to get a good grip on it. You donât really try to grip it. You do not find the chance to. Instead, your hand just lingers hesitantly above the crowd of them.
Gwayneâs hands come down to meet yours. He grabs one of them, effortlessly and gently, cradling it in his hands.
Your hand is still lingering beside his, still in a motion as if you were going to grab one, as he did, so he brings the chicken in his hands to yours. You bring your free hand to join the other and cup them together.
He lets one hand release the chick into yours, and it comes down below the two of your hands as if to hold it steady. The other covers the chick to prevent it from jumping out of your hold.
The hand that is under yours touches it, and urges it to close. âGently,â he murmurs, and youâre holding the chick on your own now, gently and effortlessly, just like he was.
His hands withdraw from yours. He watches as your lips curl up, a pure joy that he had yet to ever witness fill your face, do exactly that. His own mouth mirrors something similar.
You shudder nervously as the chick twitches around in your grip. It comes out half in the form of small chuckles and half in struggled exhales.
Your brows draw together. It seems impossible to relax them, and you feel a panic settle in at nothing in particular. Perhaps it be that your brothers are dead, maybe because you are with a man that you have such complicated and mind-boggling feelings for, or that you were just held as a prisoner for the Greens, and that man is a Green, he is the Green, the Hightower Green you have been conditioned to hateâ
Gwayne has stopped smiling. You feel tears running down your face. The chick flies out of your grip once you try to see it closer, and you try your hardest to catch onto your breath, to catch it as it runs from you, but you cannot. You are sobbing before you get any sense to stop it.
âMy princess?â he leans closer to you, a wavering hand inching dangerously close, and you push yourself from off the ground. He follows.
âIâm sorry,â you manage through heaving breaths, smoothing down your now wrinkled dress. Why are you apologizing? You do not know why you are apologizing. He is a Green. He should be apologizing to you, for being on the side of the war that killed your brothersâoh, gods, your sweet brothers. Your sweet, young, desperate, dead brothers.
âItâs all right,â he mumbles. His hands, still, are reaching toward your arms, yet not touching. Never touching. Just hovering near yours, always, like he wants to touch you, but he doesnât.
You wipe your eyes, but the tears keep falling. You mutter something again. Sorry, you hear yourself say again, and then your body moves for you. You wrap your arms around his neck in an embrace so tight you might be strangling him.
He stumbles back slightly, arms still hesitating beside you, and then finally you feel it. He folds them gently around your waist. As gentle as he held the chick.
âDonât cry,â he comforts.
You do not obey. You would if you could, but for now, you remain in his hold. You, regrettably, enjoy it.
day five
Gwayne did not like to see you cry.
He had first seen it the moment you realized you were captured by the Hightowers. You hadnât been conscious enough when they found you to care about where you were being taken. He hadnât enjoyed the sight then, not as his belligerents did, and he does not like to see it now.
He was the one to convince his fellow commanders to spare your life and to instead take you as a hostage. He was the one to have you held in a tent next to his own in the encampments with his two most upstanding soldiers posted outside, and not in those grimy cages fit for animals. He was the one to have you ride your horse directly next to his when on the road with the rest of the armyâmuch to your dismayâas to prevent any dishonorable conduct from occurring. He would never tell you these things, of course, but they live with him.
Gwayne would tell himself that he did all of these things because it was right, that he would do it to any other female prisoner-of-war, given the shocking lack of honor among his knights who vowed to defend it. He had done a good job separating the wheat from the chaff when he became a commander, but there were only few he truly trusted to never harm the young, an innocentâand those who cannot protect themselves. Like you.
You liked to put on a front. And it somewhat worked with others, but not with him. He wishes it would, for some odd reason. Maybe he would not see you the way he does, if it did. He would still treat you with mercy, but it would not be to the level it is. He would never have accepted your hug. He thinks he would have pushed you away.
He wouldnât have, but he believes he would have.
Since he had finally felt your touch the afternoon previous, the road to the Red Keep had been as quiet as the first day of your journey together. He suspected you had been embarrassed after letting him see your emotions, as you had been combative toward him every day since you had woken up from your comatose state.
He had expected it to come at some point, the unveiling of your feelings, but not in that way. He had expected to hear you sniffle from beside him while on your horses. He would have stayed silent, and he would have let you cry. He believes he would have let you cry on your own if you hadnât come to him for comfort first.
The fact that you did had brought him joy. It made him hopeful, in some strange way he did not feel himself familiar with.
âYou are betrothed to Lord Samwell Blackwood, are you not?â
You look at him, puzzled. âHe has been with the Stranger since the war begun.â
Gwayne nods curtly. âSo Iâve heard.â
âThen why have you asked?â
He inhales a heavy breath. âI feel it my duty to tell you of this.â He clears his throat. âBefore your mother took the throne, there was word among our commanders to betroth you to your cousin, Prince Aemond.â
âYou jest.â
âI do not.â
You cock your head to the side, wetting your lips. âAnd what did you have to say in the matter?â
âThat is unneeded for you to know.â
âWhy? Because you encouraged them to?â
His voice picks up immediately where you left off. âNo, because I fought against it.â He scoffs a laugh. âThe One-Eyed Prince is⊠he is mad.â At your gawking laugh, he turns his head to you. âYou must know it too. He is simply and utterly mad.â
âYou are his uncle.â You would never tell of his treasonous words to any other, but you feel you must remind him.
âAre you going to betray me and inform my army of the fact?â
âI do not have loyalty to you, though I will not speak of the words to another.â
âGood. Now you tell me something in confidence,â he presses.
You shake your head at the sheer audacity of him. âWhy would I do that, ser?â
âWhat else will we converse about? It is a long and arduous road ahead of us.â His eyes peer into yours, and you feel a sudden urge to tell him everything you have ever kept from him.
âAlright then,â you look to the sky in mock ponder. âWhen I was young, I would pray to the gods each and every night for a gallant and true knight to take me away from the Red Keep and off to some distant land. There was this one knight, he had belonged to our Kingsguard, who I absolutely adored.â You sigh on the memory, oblivious to the fact that a true and gallant knight was riding right alongside you. âI was just a girl then. It was a silly dream. And the gods do not always play in my favor.â
Were you jesting? Or were you truly so oblivious?
âDo you remember his name?â he asks.
âIt has lost me. But I remember his face. He was gorgeous, that one, and very gentle, too. Back then he was the same age as my brother is now.â
He does not let you sit with the fact that you mentioned your brother as if he were alive. âThatâs quite young, isnât it?â
You nod. âIndeed. He was the youngest of every knight in the Keep. Perhaps the youngest in history.â
âWhat happened to him?â
You exhale a breath, and look down to your horseâs head. âHe was in the fire that killed Ser Harwin. I do not know why he had been called to Harrenhal, and I suppose I shall never know. Are you yourself betrothed, or married, ser?â
He huffs. âGods, no. I was, and remain, of little use as a political pawn for House Hightower, my father being the second son.â
âTherefore if you were to wed, you would do so for love,â you state.
âI suppose so.â
day six
The hood of your cloak was pulled tightly over the upper half of your face, seemingly ritual for whenever you made it to inns, and you felt a tap on your shoulder.
You turn, expecting to see Gwayne, but in his place stood a knight in armor, donning a Hightower sigil on his gambeson.
It is your luck to see Gwayne rushing up from behind him to fetch you.
âSquire, let us retire to our room, yes?â he says, and you nod eagerly, pulling the hood further over your face. The two of you attempt to move forward, and you make it past the knightâ
âThat is no squire,â the man interjects, grabbing onto your wrist, stopping you. âThat is a girl.â
Gwayne steps in between you and the knight, forcing him to release your joint from his hold. His gaze flicks down to the manâs gambeson.
He takes a step closer to him and lowers his voice. âIf it pleases you, sheâs my distraction for the night, ser. Not worth your notice.â
The knight clears his throat, and Gwayne steps back.
âBlessings upon King Aegon.â He smiles, turning back to the inn entrance.
His hand guides you forward, lingering on the small of your back, surely for the sight of the knight behind you. And then it trails down, over the curve of your back end, and you feel the slightest grip onto it before the door behind you closes, and his hand immediately falls away.
The walk to your room is silent.
Gwayne swallows painfully once you make it to your room.
âIâm sorryââ he begins.
âHow may I distract you tonight, ser?â you interrupt, smiling stupidly at his lie, and he sighs one of relief at your lack of offense.
He breathes out a laugh, and swiftly moves to shed himself of his armor. He has been struggling on his own each time he has done so. You only noticed it the last night, and offered help, but had been rejected.
You would not ask this time, you would simply do. Your fingers were desperate and untrained in their efforts, but they did the trick in time for him not to deny you, and he was rid of the metal captivity.
You turn as he does, ridding yourself of your heavy cloak and pushing your hair out of the way of the laces of your dress. He pulls them loose without a word, and the warmth of his body behind yours would surely prove the most effective thing of the night, you decide as you gaze at the thin quilt on your bed.
As your gown slides down your body, you can hear the shuffling of Gwayne removing all but his linens behind you. If you took just a step backward, you would be touching him.
âIt is a terrible coincidence, the Hightower army resting here,â you mumble, your hands fiddling with the light cloth around the your wrists.
âIt is,â he agrees solemnly.
You retreat from his warmth and sit on the edge of your bed, your back up straight and your fingers clasped together in your lap. You werenât particularly tired this night. Maybe it be from the surge of adrenaline at the knight outside, and it had already raged through your limbs, rendering them restless the moment the door to the inn had shut behind you.
Gwayneâs hand was close to you then, to an area you regarded as most private among you, a maiden. The memory of it twinged deep in your stomach. It was an unfamiliar feeling.
He had joined you in sitting on the edge of a bed, albeit his own. His own stature had mirrored yours. All tense and surged with the possibility of a fight.
âIt is rather cold this night,â you mutter.
Gwayne nods curtly. âIt is.â
Your gaze lowers to watch your fingers be relentlessly picked on by those of the other hand. âI fear one of those knights will bust through the doorway, and take me away with little fight, you being so far from me,â you whisper. The night was silent enough for him to hear it.
âI fear the same.â
You look up at him. âIf he were to do so, it would certainly raise suspicion if your whore was sleeping in a bed adjacent to yours.â
He takes a turn to meet your eyes. âIf you wish to sleep in the same bed as I, you need only ask.â
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips. âMay I sleep in your bed tonight, Gwayne?â you muster.
âAs you wish, my princess.â
day seven
Your horse stops before you instruct it to.
In the distance lies a field of flowers, pink and purple, some yellow, and all illuminated by sunlight. It was nearly time for it to set.
You cannot still be in the Reach, you think. It has been much too long, but thank the gods if you are. What a sight to see.
You want to see it closer. Gwayne will be okay with it, you declare, and you hop off of your horse and begin walking in the direction of the field.
âNo, princess,â he says, exasperated. âWe cannot go off trail again.â
âThe flowers,â you breathe. âIt is beautiful.â
The scent in the air is intoxicating. It is rather pungent, the closer you get to it, and the air seems more sultry than just moments before.
You remove your cloak from your shoulders, letting it drop behind you as you continue forward. It is the slightest bit relieving from the heat, but your body quickly acclimates to it again, and the sweat begins beading. It is no wonder. The sleeves under your dress are long. It makes you question why you decided to wear such a stupid thing, in this climate.
Once you make it to the field, it envelopes you. The fever. It starts in your lower abdomen in a heavy thrum and travels up the rest of your body.
Where is Gwayne?
You turn around. He is just a few steps behind. He has been trailing behind you the entire time. It was hard to notice, with the pull of the meadow, but now that you are here, he is all you can think about. All you can focus on. You do not like that.
His hair illuminates in the sunlight, much like the flowers. Your skin tingles.
He froze in his movements the moment you did. You continue further into the field. His feet fall in step with yours, and you think you can hear his breathing, all shaky and uncertain.
You make it to an empty patch of the meadow, and stop once again.
âSer?â you turn back to face him. The scorch of the sun worsens with each passing second. Sweat gathers on your brow. âMy dress... please⊠help me get it off.â You raise a timid arm to your back, accepting defeat once you find yourself unable to reach the laces.
Gwayneâs thumb twitches toward you. His forehead glistens. He must be burning too.
You spot the clench of his jaw, and take a wary step toward him.
âStopââ he holds a hand out, body turning away from you. âDo not move. Please. Just stay there.â He avoids your gaze.
âWhat is it?â you ask. You know what it is.
You know what he is feeling, because you feel it too. It presses hard and deep in your abdomen, and it just wants to be relieved. You want to be relieved. And Ser Gwayne Hightower looks rather handsome in this light, surrounded by the pink and purpleâand was it red?âflowers. He seems close to pouncing on you like a wild dog. Gods, may he?
He had always been alluring. May it be your frustration that you could never have him in the way you wanted that made you so combative, or the fact that he is a Greenâit is probably both, but neither seem so important now. Not when you feel the heat of a thousand suns burn through you, all the way to your core, and then all over again.
The man himself looks close to releasing in his braies just by looking at your face. It brings you some ease, yet also further discomfort, to know that he feels the same as you. You had blocked out the idea, seeing yourself as delusional and unrealistic for thinking he would ever show any form of attraction toward you.
âGwayneââ you exhale, though it releases itself in the form of a groan. âIt is sweltering.â You bend over to clutch the end of your dress, and you are close to pulling it off yourself, if fate was willing. Something halts you.
âPlease, donât.â His voice sounds pitiful. It is all low and whiny. âI do not know if I can handle that. Not now. Not when⊠fuck.â
You want to keel over and die.
You release the cloth from your grip and let the dress fall back down. You rise back up, slowly, and flatten down the wrinkled fabric of your middle with your hands.
Your lips tremble. âWhat do you want to do?â
âI am unsure.â He still cannot look you in the eye. âIt is impure, and unchivalrous for me to be thinking of you this way.â
âI am all right with it.â It is then that you realize how you sound. Desperate for a Green, as if you were a common whore, which is probably what he thinks of you as. At least he tries to fight it. You should fight it too. You are fierce enough to fight whatever it is that is welling up inside of you.
Your eyes are squeezed shut, and the shame tries to conquer the hungerâbut the hunger wins in the blink of an eye. The blink of your eye, in fact, as you look back at Gwayne.
âWe cannot,â you mumble. âWe should not. I am a maiden. You are the opposition. We cannot.â You repeat the words to yourself, over and over, like a mantra. If the shame did not prevail, perhaps distraction will. Your eyes shut tight again, and you repeat the words. We cannot. We should not. You are a maiden. He is the opposition.
We cannot, we should not, you are a maiden, Ser Gwayne Hightower is hard by simply standing in your presenceâ
Your eyes snap open, and you find that you are standing directly in front of him. You must have been inching closer to him with each sentence you repeated.
Your gaze flicks down to his crotch. Sure enough, your thoughts did not lie to you. Perhaps your dragon blood has given you the gift of prophecy.
He finds it appropriate to look at you, finally, and you realize how close you are to one another.
In specificâhow close your lips are to one another. So, so close, yet so far. You almost want to give in, and you lean just a little closer. He stays still, though when you stop moving, his head moves closer too, close enough that you can almost feel his breath fanning into your own mouth.
Your noses are touching, that is how close you are. You could just slot your lips right onto his. It would be so easy, so incredibly simple, if you would just move forward, just a littleâ
His hands reach up to cradle your face in his hands, thumbs on either side grazing your cheekbones. They move down your face, down to your lips, and one of the thumbs strokes over the bottom lip. And he closes the gap.
You feel his lips envelope yours first, and then you feel his tongue inch into your mouth. Your lips close over one anotherâs, and he moans. Ser Gwayne Hightower is moaning into your mouth, and it feels like you have been sent to each of the seven heavens and back again. Your head is pushed backwards with the force of his kiss.
Your hand reaches around to brush over his nape. His hands travel further down your body, one finding itself wrapped around your waist, the other petting your breast over your dress. It seems that the true touch of it pacifies him, as it allows you to push deeper into the kiss, letting your tongue slide into his mouth.
You only break away to lower yourself to the ground. He follows, as though the answers to every challenge in his life were held on your lips. He hikes your dress up your legs, your smallclothes with it, until they both pool at your waist.
He lifts two fingers to his mouth, coating them in spit before reaching down to your bare cunt and thrusting them inside. You let out a shrieking moan, letting your head press into the dirt below you and thrashing back and forth in pleasure.
âLook at me,â Gwayne instructs. You let your eyes lock onto his, you try, but the deep press of his fingers inside of you makes it hard to focus. His lips, hanging open, hover just above yours, and he moves forward to bring you and he together again.
It is breathing moans into each otherâs mouths and pathetic, desperate mashing before you finally get the hold onto his lips, or perhaps him onto yours. His fingers cease, and slip out swift enough for it to go unnoticed for a single moment.
He breaks apart from your mouth, and wastes no time in sliding himself down your body. The disappointment at the loss of his fingers does not last long, as his lips lock onto your cunt.
Gwayne snakes his arms under your legs and he yanks your body closer to him. Your fingers curl in his hair, and he only laps harder at you.
âYâyes, serââ you cry, your thighs squeezing his head, clit pulsating under the assault of his tongue.
He breaks away for just a moment, big blue eyes locking onto your weak ones. âNot ser. Gwayne. My name is Gwayne.â
And he dives back into you, gathering your wetness on his tongue in a torturous swipe from bottom to top, one that earns a sweet little whine from the depths of your throat. It reminds him, in that moment, of the sounds you would make when you did not get your way back in Oldtownâthe sounds he would shamefully think of as he fucked his fist late at night, the sounds that he would repent about for thinking and acting on with such humiliating vitality, and more importantly, for not regretting any of it in the slightest.
The sheer relief you get from his mouth onto yours is unlike anything you have felt before, because you have not felt it before. You had heard word of the act in song, and in gossip spread around by your ladies-in-waiting, but to experience it was the greatest decision you ever made. A true, gallant knight between your legs, satiating the hunger that spread in your loins and his alike, yet he is only focused on your release now, latching his tongue on your clit and sucking hard.
His fingers graze your folds and glide around the edges, already slick with your wet. One finger probes, just the slightest bit, and you shudder at the contact.
You let out a loud cry as it presses itself fully inside, without warning. Perfection, you think you hear him say. The words vibrate on your clit, agonizingly so.
His finger pumps in and out of you, and his mouth works on your cunt all the same. The fire in your veins only grows stronger as your climax approaches.
Your fingers tug and pull on his hair, and somewhere in the middle of your gratification a second slim finger of his joins the first, pressing deep into your cunt as they allow him.
The sounds coming from your mouth you do not think you have ever made before. They approach from deep in your lungs and are hoarsely ripped from your throat.
It creeps closer, that unfamiliar thing called release, and your walls tighten around his fingers. Gwayne only sucks harder, and pushes his fingers further into your cunt, his knuckles pressing into your folds.
The feeling floods your body in an instant. It feels prickly, for some odd reason, and it nips your limbs, but blissfully so. Your brain feels fuzzy, and you cannot think of anything but him. It is a way that makes you crave for it immediately once it ebbs.
You let out a little sob once his fingers slip out from inside you. You didnât know you were crying, and a few stray tears fall from your eyes before you realize.
Gwayne licks a stripe up your cunt, collecting whatever fluids he procured down there into his mouth and swallowing them with the gulp of a man who might just be dying of thirst.
He is up your body and has his wet lips on yours by the time you tear yourself away from the sight. It is then that you feel how truly hard he is under his linens. His cock presses against your spent core, and he nearly jerks back at the contact.
âGwayne,â you breathe, and his head shoots up to look at you.
âWhat is it, sweet girl?â he mumbles, suddenly winded by the sweet sound of his name on your tongue.
âI want you to fuck me.â
He is frozen solid at your ask. Your arousal on his mouth glistens with each slight twitch upward. âYouâre sure of it?â
You nod, but it is not enough.
âTell me,â he commands.
âI want you to fuck me, Gwayne, how else must I tell you?â you reply impatiently, and grind your hips up to feel his hardened cock brush against you once more.
Both of your hands come up and intertwine themselves behind his neck, preventing him from straying any furtherâpulling him down to you, in fact, so you can grind up on him some more.
You lift your head from the ground to try and capture his lips into a somewhat calculating kiss, but his strength prevails, and his head softly twitches back before your mouth can get hold on his.
You fall back, defeated, but his hand comes to hold your wrist, and he comes down to close the gap. He chuckles into your mouth at your desperation, and you only kiss him harder, as if you were trying to become one with him.
His hand rubs up and down your wrist for a moment, before he reaches down to release his lower half from his linens.
You take a hand from off his neck and reach down to meet his own, searching around for his cock. You get a firm grip on it, stroking it up once. He lets out a shuddery moan, and his hand finds your wrist once againânot stopping you, but guiding you, perhaps.
He pumps himself with your hand, and you let him for only a moment, before overpowering his gentleness and guiding his length to your cunt. The tip of it glides on your folds. You could die right here, and it would be okay.
Gwayne pushes into you with a wounded groan, his jaw hanging wide open. You, on the other hand, nearly shriek.
He rocks himself out of you slowly, then back into you almost sluggishly.
âIs this all right?â he manages through strangled breaths, and you nod fervently, using the hand still on his neck to push his head closer to yours.
You mean to kiss him, but his forehead lies on yours instead. Youâll take what you can get.
He presses swift pecks on your cheeks, on your nose, and on your lips as he gains momentum. Your eyes flutter shut, but his hand comes up to press a few light smacks to your cheek.
âI said to look at me,â he grunts. âI want to see your eyesââ
You open them back up at that. Theyâre glossed over again, with tears, and youâre glad that Gwayne does not take it as pain. There was pain, but it is long gone. He kisses the droplets as they fall from the corners of your eyes.
It is utterly intoxicating, the drag of his hips. He seems to lose himself in the feeling too. Wave after wave of constant pleasure washes over you with the somehow gentle slam of him into you.
You babble incomprehensible speech, just as lost as he is as he, slack-jawed as he fucks you. His eyes are focused on your face, your face saturated with sweat, for a single twitch of anything at all, yet he finds nothing. Nothing but rapture, as he believes it should be. He brings his hand back down to your clit and strokes it so delicately, but it brings you sweet relief all the more.
You feel it cresting again. Up your spine, down your legs, dumbing your brain into mush, prickling at the back of your neck. âGods, GwayneâOh, gods, Iâm gonnaââ
You donât finish the sentence. It hits you, you cum again, so hard around his cock, and it isnât long into your perfect bliss before he is pulls out, spilling his seed onto the bunched-up cotton of your dress.
You feel as though you are one with him. It is like your flesh melts into his. Your sweat certainly does, especially as he joins his forehead with yours again, all sticky and damp.
âI am deeply sorryââ he says in between quick kisses, âto have taken your maidenhood.â
You shake your head softly. âIf it shames you so, I can raise a proposition of marriage to my mother once we get back to the Keep.â He laughs at that, unknowing you were not telling a joke.
Still, you breathe out a chuckle.
day nine
The communal bath that you had found yourself in was satisfyingly empty. Since Gwayne had taken your maidenhood two moons previous, you had been desperate for it to happen again, and again, and perhaps a thousand times more, though you resisted the urge to ask outright while in the inns.
Now, though, seemed like the perfect moment to do so. You could clean yourself properly for the first time in weeks, and then dirty yourself all over again with the satisfaction of your mutual sin.
He had already undone the laces of your dress for you, and you stepped out of the gown that dropped to your feet, eager to feel the warmth of the water envelop your skin. And for him to join you. So that you could seeâand feelâhis bare body, properly. You had already shed your linens by the time you made it to the water.
You had retreated to the further side of the bath, so that you could watch as Gwayne undressed himself. It was nicer like this, being able to take in his body for the first time, as he stripped off his gambeson, then his chausses, and then, finally, his smallclothes.
His figure was very unsurprisingly robust. The light of the countless candles surrounding the baths set for quite the intimate atmosphere.
You bit back a smile as he inched closer to the bath, stepping inside with a heavy sigh of relief. The Hightowers did seem to prioritize cleanliness. Perhaps they place it next to godliness. Gwayne certainly does not seem to mind, given how keen he was to eat your cunt until you came undone on his tongue.
He threw his head back with a shuddering sigh once he finally sunk into the water. You watch as the grime expels from the surface of his body in one fell swoop, becoming one with the rest of the stream.
âHave you something to say?â he questions, a brow darted upward at your uncharacteristically blissful expression.
Your cheeks flushed, a harder, content smile crossing over your face. âJust observing.â
âMust you observe so far?â he mutters.
âI must,â you sneer, giving a firm nod.
His eyes flick down to your bare breasts, sat warped on your chest under the soft wave of the water.
He quickly averts his gaze to the center of the bath once you perk them forward with your arms.
âI am truly apologetic,â he starts. âFor taking your maidenhood. âspecially in such an unclean place, where anyone could have seen us if they had simply come to probe into the noise.â
You scoff. âWould you have preferred it happen inside the walls of some dull inn?â
âIâd have preferred you comfortable.â
âI was comfortable. I am comfortable.â
At his silence, you push yourself off of the wall and glide over to him. He sits frozen as your chest brushes against his arm.
âAre you a maid, ser? Wellâwere you a maid?â you question, feigning a look of innocence.
âI havenât been a maid for a long time, princess.â His head hangs low.
He lets you grip his arm and guide it between your legs. âAre you ashamed of the fact?â
âI am ashamed that I am not,â he mutters, seemingly unfazed as you grind your cunt against his wrist. You let out a low moan, your breath wavering before you realize his lament.
So you release his arm from your hold and straddle his hips, placing your hands on each of his shoulders. Your chest is eye level with his face. It seems to be the only thing that can bring his head back up.
You can feel his cock hardening below you as you rock back and forth against him. He watches your face that stares down back at himâboth of your jaws are slack, and you breathe heavy pants into each others mouths, gaining some semblance of pleasure from the act.
But it is not enough, no. It is never enough.
You take a hand from his shoulder and reach down to grip his length, guiding it into your walls at once. You push down unto him with a sweet little cry, one quickly silenced by his lips on your own.
His kiss is just as tender as you remember it being, amorous flowers aside, and you hum into him. A hand cups your cheek and he tilts his head, his tongue breaching the plush of your lips, just exploring.
Your fingers curl around his nape as you thrust, up and down, up and down, and he concurrently rolls his hips back and forth.
âFuckâsweet princessââ he moans once he breaks apart from your mouth.
You gasp and shudder, and he reaches his head up to kiss all over your face. Your eye, the brow bone above it, down to the highest point of your cheek on the side of your face, then to the corner of your lip, and then he cranes his head down to kiss you on your neck. You throw your head back to allow him access.
Once he reaches your sternum, he darts his tongue out first when attaching his lips to it. âOh, gods,â you whimper into his hair.
âSer? Gwayneââ you can't quite speak, the words near dying on your tongue. âAre you mine, Gwayne? Tell meââ your hips slow, and his only speed up. He begins fucking up into you, and another moan rips through your throat.
He nods fervently against your neck, lifting his head back up to see you. âI am yours, princess. Fuckââ his hips stutter, though he relents.
It does not give you solace. If he is yours, how long shall he remain so? Until the gods rip him from your graspâwhich would be soon now, with each tread of your horses closer to the Red Keep.
His hand slides up to your ribs as if to stabilize you, and he wraps it around your middle. His forehead drops to your shoulder, raising with each jolt of your body upward, the constant slam of his cock up into your cunt and then out again.
You know few things now, except for him. Your walls clench around him, and he nearly ceases at that. You continue in his ministrations, rocking back and forth onto him, savoring in the way his length hits you in the spot that makes you feel near the brink of climax.
âI love you.â You think you hear yourself say. And he just watches you, as you chase your peak, so blissfully unaware of the words that just came from your mouth. Your sweet mouth.
Gwayne reaches a hand to cradle your head, and push it closer to his, so that he can take your sweet mouth into his. It is less of a kiss and more of two mouths pressing against each other, but you accept it either way. The two of you pant raggedly against each other, and you feel your core tighten with each deep press of his cock inside of you.
He can feel it too. It is more of threat than satisfying, the idea of spilling his seed inside of you, but you seem to not care. You might just not know. If you were true to your word of your maidenhoodâhe does not care if you were or notâyou must be pitifully unknowledgeable on the subject.
He remembers word of you being betrothed to some high lord widow who had died on the frontlines of battle when the war first broke out, fighting for the side of your mother. Then, once you were captured, there was word of you marrying one of his two younger Targaryen nephews. The thought of you being kept as a prisoner for Aemond sends a shudder through his body, and he rids himself free of the idea as his orgasm approaches closer.
âMy princessââ he tries. You do not notice. You persist in your pursuit of release, and he grips your jaw gently, catching your attention. âLook at me.â
You nod at nothing in particular, mouth hanging open and mewling needy whimpers as you oscillate on his cock.
âI cannotâI cannot cum inside.â He lets out a strangled moan as you begin grinding faster than just moments before, as if encouraging him to do so.
âWhy not?â you breathe.
His head nearly lulls back as he staves off his own release. âYou could get with child.â
You grip his hand and lead it to your breast, and he lets himself fall for your entrancement, kneading it between his fingers. Your nipple is caught between two of them, and he presses them together just the slightest bit too hard, earning a wince from above him. It makes him realize he has been regrettably neglecting them this entire time.
âMy breasts are sore.â You inhale sharply. âI shall bleed soon.â
Ah. In that caseâ
Gwayne dips his hands back into the water, finding your hips to guide them, delighting in the way your moans grow more and more fervent as his cock drags against your walls.
It approaches swift, and you do not have any time nor stamina to warn him of it. You wonder if he can sense it.
Just as quick as it came, it washes over you in an instant. Your muscles clamp down around him, and he moans loud into your shoulderâyou soon feel a warmth deep in your womb, the warmth of his seed. A minuscule part of you hopes it will take.
Shortly afterward, he lifts your bodies from the water, carrying you with your legs wrapped around him. His cock has slipped out of you, but the kiss he places on your lips distracts you from the loss.
You push his chest, separating your mouths, and wrap your arms around his neck. âLet us leave together, Gwayne. Silverwing is large enough to saddle two. You could be a sellsword, and I a scribeâI your wife. I shall give you children, if it is what you desire. We can spend our days in rest and tranquility, like this.â Your breath still hasnât caught.
It is a moment of silence before Gwayne finds the words. The dubious words, though the ones that provide enough hope to settle you. âPerhaps, my princess. Do not worry yourself with eventuality.â And he sets you down on the marble just above the bath. Your calves dip back into the water, and it is then you realize that they are aching.
He kneels down into the water and takes your legs over his shoulders. You feel the stretch in your thighs, equal parts from their growing soreness and the length of his shoulders. His release begins seeping out of your cunt from the pressure of it all.
He presses a kiss to the inside of your knee, then to the inside of your thigh, and then finally to your clit. His head dips down to your opening, and he sucks.
It becomes more like he is kissing, or eating you, at some point. You cannot tell. The pleasure has already gotten to be too much, and you are writhing under him.
His arms wrap around your thighs and he pulls you closer to his mouth, and you loudly and embarrassingly moan, your fingers rake through his hair, gripping it tight when his nose brushes against your clit.
You havenât discovered his objective, but thank the gods for him. It is somewhat relaxing and simultaneously frustrating for him to be lapping away mindlessly at your cunt.
âPlease, Gwayne, let me cumââ you beg, all breathless and crestfallen, and his eyes flick up to you. He finds you are the most spoiled thing he has ever met, yet also the most beautiful. He thinks, in that moment, that he truly should consider being taken as your husband.
He nods once. âAs you wish.â
And his mouth is replaced by his fingers. He pumps them into you, a relentless pace, and his lips find themselves back onto you, but now on your clit.
He laps at you and rocks his fingers further inside, getting your folds all slick and glossy with both your own and his own arousal, as well as his own saliva.
He curls his fingers deep in your cunt, in that spongy spot that once sheathed his cock, and it is enough to bring you to climax before you realize it.
You swear your vision goes black for a moment as you cum, and the bliss fills your body over the irritation. It was embarrassingly fast how quickly he brought you to absolution, but you did not have enough might to let it wash over you the way your orgasm had.
Gwayne looks up at you with those big blue eyes of his, now glossed over. The lower half of his face is sheen with your cumâhis cumâand he pants and lifts himself up to join you on the marble, his strong body glistening with the damp of the bath.
You think you might faint.
day fourteen
Tonightâs inn had been the nicest of all fourteen. You and Gwayne had jointly decided for it to be the last of your stops, and that you would make the journey the rest of the way there without sleeping.
It was not long to Kingâs Landing. As much as you had longed to see your mother, and to be home again, the thought of what would happen to Gwayne in the coming days was a thought too harrowing to bear.
But it had lingered in your mind since the field. Certainly he could not leave you, having taken your maidenhood. Your mother would find a way. She knows what it is like to be infatuated with someone you should not be infatuated with. She knows Gwayne. As a soldier for the opposition, yes, but she knows him all the more.
If she has held mercy for his sister, she would certainly hold mercy for him, especially given the situation at hand. The situation of you being in love with a Hightower, and him having bedded youâwell, fucked you in a field, then in a bath, a few scattered moments along the road of him lapping at your cunt, or sticking his fingers there to cull your nerves the nights you were too tense to sleep. Your mother coddled you enough before you were taken hostage, and she would certainly do more once you are back with her.
Gwayne seems to sense your restlessness. You have resorted to single bed rooms in the inns, given the underestimated lack of coin he decided to bring with him. He has been able to pick up on your behavior for the last few daysânoting to himself how much you lack sleep the closer you get to Kingâs Landingâand he has always been able to get you to talk about it. Tonight, you seem not wanting of his perception.
He turns over to face you. âAre you feeling well?â he asks.
You look to him for a moment. âI feel fine.â
Propping himself up on one arm, he maneuvers himself closer until he is hovering above you, as he stares down at where you lie. âYou mustnât need to lie.â His voice is soft.
Your lungs expand with a heavy breath of air. âI do not wish for you to leave when we return to the Red Keep. You told me that we would talk about it, and we never have.â
He brushes your hair behind your ear with his free hand. âWhat would you like to talk about?â
âI want us to wed.â
Gwayne stares into you. And then hangs his head low with laughter.
âI am serious, Gwayne. If you swore fealty to my mother, the rightful queen, she would show you mercy. I have no doubt she has shown it to your sister, and to your niece and her daughter too.â His smile was wiped from his face sometime as you spoke.
âYou cannot be certain of that, though, can you princess?â he mumbles, raising his head back up to cock it to the side.
âI cannot.â You begin picking at the skin around your fingernails.
Gwayne places a hand over them, stopping you. âThe agreement was for me to bring you, unharmed, to the Red Keep. And then I would leave, or they would have my head.â His hand envelops one of yours.
âMy mother would not let them have it, if I simply tell her.â
âYou speak lightly of a heavy thing, my princess.â He squeezes your hand a bit tighter. âIf you so much as suggest that the Hightowers are anything less than treasonous vipers, your motherâs council will smell a captive who has learned to love her cage. You are her only daughter, yes, and she adores you. Therefore, if she discovers how thoroughly I have failed to keep my distance, amnesty will be the last thing she grants my house. It will be fire and blood, starting with my head on a pike.â
âShe knows what it is like to love someone forbidden to her.â
Gwayne grins at your words. âShe also knows she must satisfy her council,â he says softly.
As much as it pains you, you realize he is right. Yet he still remains as handsome as ever in the dark, and his lips are glossed over, looking so plump and lonely.
âWill you kiss me?â you mutter, and kiss you he does. His mouth is just as soft as you had imagined, and he is still so tender and hesitant in his ministrations you almost feel a want to take over.
Your lips are pliable, though, and part for him almost instantly. The hand that held yours comes up to cradle your cheek, and your legs open up a spot for him to slot himself into.
You are grateful for the loss of layers in spite of the outdoor elementsâwhich have been terribly cold nearly the entire journeyâas they give you easy access to the growing length in Gwayneâs linens.
He breathes a low groan into your mouth when you reach a hand under the fabric cuff of his waist to grip his cock. You pump him in a slow rhythm, and he nearly falters completely, the arm propping him up above you buckling and lowering him to his elbow.
The hand cradling your face moves to your own core, and he hastily hikes your shift up your thighs. His fingers find your cunt, pressing his thumb to your clit and stroking it.
The two of you breath and pant into one anotherâs mouth, the speed of both of your caresses increasing as your moans do.
âWould youââ Gwayne pants, âlike me inside?â
You nod eagerly, and pull your hand from his cock. His own hand ceases motion on you, and he uses both arms to gather your body and flip you onto your stomach. The featherbed mattress bounces with the movement, and you reach your hands behind you to pull your shift up entirely to your middle, perking your ass up toward him.
Gwayne has already rid himself of his smallclothes in the meantime. He places a hand right above your backend, stabilizing both you and himself, and lines himself up with your cunt.
He leans his body over yours and presses soft kisses along your spine, pushing himself inside of you with a long groan. You let out a needy one all the same.
âKeep movingââ you beg, letting the top of your head fall to the pillow below you. He hums in response, and begins thrusting slowly, still hesitant.
It is a stretch, but a welcome one nonetheless. It is easy to lose trail of your thoughts with the drag of his cock in and out and the press of his chest to your back, the song of his pretty little grunts and groans singing in your ear.
He wraps his arms around your middle, one hand gripping a breast through the soft cotton of your shift. You flick your hair away from your neck, and his lips quickly find the spot, tipping you into absolute bliss.
One of his arms, the one not clutching your chest, sneaks down to your core, and he begins rubbing your clit with a seemingly endless vitality.
The other pushes the two of you up so that you are both standing on your knees. Your hands extend to his head behind you, pushing it closer as you awkwardly crane your neck so that you can join your lips with his in what may be the sloppiest way they have ever met each other.
His fingers continue their assault on your pearl, and his hips rock into you, and it all feels so much. So good, yet so much. Your chest rises and falls rapidly with each slam of his cock into your cunt, the strength of which also makes his head bob slightly into your kiss, coating the area above and below and beside your lips with his own spit.
There is little surprisingly little build-up to your release. It comes quick, like the tide coming in to take away a shell from the shore. It seems to tear through you, lighting up every nerve in your body, pulled straight from your breathless lungs and your racing heart and illuminating your frenzied brain with nothing other than euphoria.
He is still pumping in and out of you, seemingly chasing his own release. You feel a warmth deep in your overwhelmed cunt, and you know he has come, his body slowing entirely. He breaks away from your lips with a soft little cry, and you simply look at each other for a moment as your breath returns to the both of you.
In this moment, you think Ser Gwayne Hightower is the most beautiful creature in the world.
âYou are more than a beauty,â he says in turn. You grin at him, still breathless, and join your lips together once more.
day sixteen
When you arrive at the gates of the Red Keep, Syrax and Caraxes are posted on the battlements.
You look over, and Gwayne seems as if he might just curl up and die. You scoff out a laugh at the sight, and he immediately straightens his back.
Open the gates, yells some guard from behind the wall, and the gate begins to part, grinding against the gravel below.
You will see your mother today. For the first time in months, you will see your mother. Will she be different? Is she a different person now that she is on the throne? More importantly, will she be a different person now that her eldest son is dead? You wonder if they have burned the body yet, or perhaps even set it out to sea. He could not become a Targaryen, as he would never become Kingâthe gods would not allow it, so history will remember him as a Velaryon. It would only be fitting for his body to be released into the water.
You should tell her about this. She must be so overwhelmed with all of her recent duties, she may have forgotten about the fact. Is little Joffrey still in the Vale? Surely, mother must have sent for his return by now. He is too vulnerable there on his own, no matter who he is with.
When you blink hard in an attempt to settle yourself, you realize your horse has been guided inside the walls of the Keep, and Gwayne is helping you off of your horse. His hands are on your waist, and you jump down with a grip on his wrists to stabilize you. Yet your eyes are not on himâthey are on any entrance, every door where your mother could come out of.
He sighs, and you finally glance at him. His hands hesitate to leave their spot on your middle. âYou are home, and you are safe, my princess.â And then his arms drop back to his side, as if ashamed he let them linger for a moment too long.
âMust you go?â you breathe out a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood that seems to deepen with each passing moment.
His hand reaches for yours, and his voice is lower now. âIt is the deal.â
For some reason, your heart seems to shatter. It feels odd and disheartening, knowing that he in this moment has a harsher effect on you than anything before.
Your expression has dropped, and Gwayne must be able to see it. His hand grips yours tighter, and he sucks in a breath, his head dropping to avoid your gaze. Your gaze, which quickly wells with tears. You are confused as to how this would have been the outcome of your journey togetherâand you are unsure if you are glad of it, or instead disappointed in yourself for not realizing that this is what would always happen.
You lower your voice too. âI do not want you to go,â you say, and your hand finally reciprocates Gwayneâs affection. You clutch it, tight, hoping it may get through to him.
It does not. His head does not lift, not even a single bit. You think you can see his brows furrow.
âI have done my duty, my princess,â he mumbles.
Hundreds of solutions flow through your mind in an instant. He could stay, swear fealty to your mother, and he could be yours. He could be your sworn shield and protector. He could be yours, if he would only say yes.
You open your mouth to say it, but nothing comes out. The words die on your tongue.
âStay,â is what you can manage. âPlease, Gwayne.â
His head tilts up, but he still averts his gaze from yours. Something else, something in the distance, catches his attention. It catches yours too. Two heads of familiar lengthy silver hairâyour mother and her husbandâinch closer to you and Gwayne.
The hand that held onto his was already back at your side. You must have done it without thought.
âMummy,â you mumble. And she smiles.
She inches closer to you, seemingly dumbfounded that the sight before her is real. âSweet girl,â she says, and you feel close to crumbling.
You want to step closer, to close the gap between the two of you, but you cannot bring yourself to leave his side.
But Gwayne is by your side one moment, and gone the next. He is pulled away by the gold cloaks, and it is with little struggle. He lets himself be pulled away. He lets himself be pushed out of the walls of the Keep, and he watches as you stand and stammer all bewildered and reaching to plead his forgiveness to the queen.
The gate closes on him once his horse is by his side.
day thirty five
You have not found much use for yourself since you have returned to the Red Keep. Neither has anyone else.
The war still rages on. It reminds you of the promise you had made to yourself, to leave if it did not end, to leave with Gwayne to Essos. He would be a sellsword, and you a scribe, under the protection of Silverwing.
It seemed a better life, a freer life, you and he on the road together. Being locked away in your chambers of your own volition, anything seemed better.
But Gwayne had abandoned you that day. He had let himself be carried away, and your mother had ignored your pleas of his fealty. It seemed nobody was on your side.
You had only wished for peace. Whatever had grown in place of it had taken your brothers away from you, and Gwayne, too, in some way.
If the war had not gone on, perhaps you could have met him another way. Perhaps he would have been your betrothed. And you could love him the way you wanted to, the way you should have since you woke up in the encampment with him by your side.
He had protected you all those months ago, you had come to realize. The violence of the men who fought under his command would have harmed you more than the words that came from his mouth when defending himself in your stupid fights, the ones you would feed into when he forced you to ride alongside him as the soldiers would march further into the Reach. The words that you replied with when he would anger you, when he would attempt to get close to you.
You should have let him get close to you when he tried. Your need for survival had prevailed then and you took every attempt as some sort of tactic to manipulate you to his side.
But Gwayne had no side, as you swiftly figured out. He wanted out of his cage seemingly as badly as you did, but he did the intelligent thingâthe thing he warned you he would always doâand returned to his people, to those he swore loyalty to.
These days, it feels you have no people. Your mother is always off attending to her royal duties, your stepfather and cousins assisting her. And you have no brothers left to bond to. Joffrey is still too little, and too shy, to converse with. The others, your half-siblings, are just a few years young.
If the Hightowers had left you for dead that day, you think you would be more comfortable in the arms of the Stranger than you do in this seemingly haunted home. Your maidenhood would be untainted, and your memory would live on as tragic and loyal. You had left to fight for your motherâs cause after all and you would have died for it then, gods willing.
A piece of you wants to hurl yourself from a window for the treasonous thoughts you have had, but you just want peace. You want peace and freedom. Most of all, though, you want Gwayne.
You can only hope he wants you too, wherever he is. You will wait, and you will bide your time until the war is overâif you live until then. And you will take Silverwing and fly to him, and you will be with him, and you will exile yourselves to Essos. You will dream of that outcome until it happens.