I got John Lucovichās book āThe Instinctual Drives and the Enneagramā a few weeks ago and read it, but it was a lot of information to absorb at once, so Iām rereading it in slower chunks this time to retain more of it. First, itās an excellent book so I recommend buying and reading it. Second, rereading his extensive explanations of each social variant had certain people popping into my head, both characters and from my life that I could see correlate with each dominant. (It surprises me, but one of my friends appears to be a so/sx. I expected sx/so.) I can also see how accurately (at least, based on what I observe of these people) his blind-spot descriptions are.
Third, I do think Iām sp/so. I have a lot of social, but my main focus appears to be on self-pres and this has caused some conflict with social dominants in the past, where they couldnāt understand my casual detachment in that area (oh well) and I thought their over-focus on appearances was a bit much. I also want to pull away from people and be autonomous, where social dominants seem to want more of a constant connection. (Them: Wouldnāt us living together be incredible? I could see you all the time! Me: *looks on them with horror*)
One thing I really liked that brought my entire approach into context was this quote from the self-preservation section in general:
āSelf Preservation types have a strong capacity for working and putting effort in a focused direction. They usually donāt have ambition for status so much as a drive for material or creative accomplishment, or for a place where their energy can be channeled into something practical and meaningful. Self Preservation builds a quality of persistent, useful energy thatās useful to building toward long-term aims.ā
Thatā¦ explains a lot about me, and my work process. How despite being an ENFP and having an overload of my ideas, I identify and focus on doing one massive project at a time, rather than flitting my attention between them. I stay focused. Work on things until theyāre done. It demands enormous amounts of mental energy that soon deplete me and cause me to withdraw, feel tired, or just want to cozy up at home. This is why Iām not social or extroverted in a traditional sense. SP-doms are aware of energy expenditure and worn out by socializing. I can also tell where having inferior Si undermines being an sp-dom to some extent. I often work myself mentally into exhaustion, as John L. would call it, āoverdoing itā rather than āunder-doing it.ā
My happiest and most mentally well times are when I allow myself to admit I am tired and quit work for the day, even if itās not finished yet. When I push away my need for completion (low Te) in the knowledge that my mind and body needs down time to rejuvenate, and a one or two day delay at the cost of mental exhaustion isnāt worth it. Sensors and stronger Si types seem to be better at recognizing a need for rest than me.
Iāve been pushing myself too hard recently, unfortunatelyā¦ but the bonus thing is, I am almost done with book rewrites! Just two more sections to go. :)
I took some notes on the things the types focus on under stress (this really brought to mind certain characters) to show you other useful things his book provides:
Enneagram types under stress:
Ā Self-pres: fear of scarcity and harm
Ā Social: fear of being ostracized, excluded, or abandoned
Ā Sexual: fear of being undesirable and sexually overlooked
SP 1: reacts to hang-ups and imperfections in oneās lifestyle and environment as an affront to their idealistic sense of rightness and perfection.
SOC 1: becomes an impeccable exemplar of the values they wish their peers reflected, a āreformerā in the social realm.
SX 1: holds themselves, partners, and all relational dynamics to intense standards, to ward off sexual rejection through their own rejection of those who canāt measure up.
SP 2: projects scarcity onto others and acts as a caretaker at the neglect of themselves, running into exhaustion in hopes of reciprocation.
SOC 2: positions themselves as indispensable to loved ones by offering support, mentorship, or granting them access to important people.
SX 2: projects fears of undesirability onto others and then fills those needs to make them feel desirable or sexy. Makes themselves over to represent the ācomplete packageā or āideal lover.ā
SP 3: works to excess to stave off scarcity while also performing their best version of abundance and success in a chosen lifestyle.
SOC 3: competes for status and embraces the best traits of their environment to be outstanding, inspiring, and invaluable.
SX 3: competes to the be the most attention-grabbing, majestic, and fascinating sexual partner around, and embody idealized traits.
SP 4: takes scarcity personally, as fuel for despair or something to rebel against.
SOC 4: represents their unique, edgy, mysterious side, while being aloof, keeping others desirous and fascinated y their presence.
SX 4: amplifies their intense personal āflavor,ā mystique or talents to occupy a desired loverās attention while trying to undermine any rivals.
SP 5: minimizes their dependence on any needs to give more energy over to concentration.
SOC 5: become āthe expert,ā offering their specialized understanding and insight to be an indispensable recognized expert, while trying simultaneously to distinguish and separate themselves from others.
SX 5: provides intense penetrating, captivating insight and focus, but abruptly withdraws when they feel insufficient energy to engage with a lover or that emotional demands are being placed on them.
SP 6: invests in and worries about the things that ensure their resources, and feel conflicted about upholding their obligations to others versus self-care.
SOC 6: defend friends, relationships, and values against harmful influences, and upkeep social agreements and structures as essential.
SX 6: exaggerates sexual characteristics and tests othersā levels of attraction by acting out to prove theyāre exciting and desirable.
SP 7: launches into plans and backup plans of how to acquire a lifestyle that gives them the freedom to pursue what they like, and indulge in rewards in the meantime.
SOC 7: form many different connections, friends, and talents, to be able to contribute without giving themselves over to any one thing.
SX 7: use high energy, over the top spectacles to dazzle or entertain prospective lovers, but quickly move on if they fear rejection or boredom.
SP 8: hardens themselves, becomes overly intense and energized about securing necessary resources for their well being, ātaking whatās mine.ā
SOC 8: take charge of the social realm, be the galvanizing force.
SX 8: attempt to dominate their desired loverās attention and energy, while using provocation to be ātoo much to handle.ā
SP 9: uses comforts, work and exercise to āget by on little,ā settling for small habits and comforts at the expense of finding and pursuing what they really want for their lives.
SOC 9: over-adapt to others in relationships and resign themselves too quickly into social roles.
SX 9: use sexuality to disassociate, hiding behind sexuality or attraction and over-adapting to their partnersā preferences.
