I have a crush on this bartender bear daddy from this bar where I live and I think he knows but it’s like so hard knowing if someone would be okay with a trans guy or not

I got really triggered last night and I’ve been experiencing sad ptsd all day and can’t seem to get myself out of it and I’ve walked, slept, showered, listened to music etc and even lied there and tried to cry / “feel” so maybe it would get ungucked but it didn’t work I’m still fucked up and I just resisted the urge to go buy takeout and ice cream (yay) so I just binged on everything I could find in my house and yes I feel terrible but the physical pain is so relieving to the dread and loneliness of having a day of cycling through ptsd