the love that remains

to be a programmer. to live in LA. to make things, and often.

things that i am currently doing to get what i want

taking an online course in coding that will review my resume, github profile, etc. i kind of hate it because it’s so fundamental but i know it’ll help me actually start to get a sense of what a portfolio neds to look like.

meanwhile i’m slowly letting my friends+fam know that i’m trying to move. making stuff, alone and with friends. and i’m trying not to go bankrupt.

things that i need to be doing

working on my physical and emotional health. finding a job. actually deciding on what i want this career of mine to look like. defining, at least somewhat, on paper who i am as a professional and where i’d like to go.

and then i need to actually fucking do it. i need to make this portfolio, assert who i am to employers, and work towards a job that i want. and once i’m there i need to fucking work at it.

i spent two years with my fave hobbies being smoking weed and driving on cruise control. i’d like to be done with the coasting part of my life but i’m not. i’ve quit weed, i’ve tried to implement structure, i’ve tried to give myself what i want and room to work.