Lies are Just UnTrue Facts

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

You know, there's this cliché that teenage boys always eat massive amounts, but teenage girls really aren't that different if they're not suppressed by diet culture and body shaming. Like, I was a teenage girl who frankly just stopped bothering to fit into mainstream beauty ideals at some point, and I would regularly make myself just one big massive pot of pasta and devour it completely. This wasn't even stress eating or anything, I just genuinely needed the energy because you know, I was a teenager and my body was developing. I feel like so many teenage girls think they need to eat as little as possible to be petite and pretty, but the truth is that your body is developing just as intensely as teenage boys' bodies. Eat more, please, your body needs it.

i think everyone who's ever been fucked over by the slow, bureaucratic, cruel, and expensive usa healthcare system should be allowed to beat one (1) hospital administrator with a pool noodle in public while the administrator tries to navigate an automated phone tree in order to make it stop

welcome to the public pool noodle beating helpline. if this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911. please keep in mind being beaten over the head and about the body with a pool noodle in public, while demeaning and certainly disruptive, is not really an emergency. nothing in fact is an emergency. until it is, in which case, you should have called us ages ago. you must take more care in future. our regular office hours are mondays through thursdays, nine am to four pm. if you'd like more pool noodles beating you about the face and body press 1. if you're a pool noodle wielder press 2. if you'd like to hear about our frequent beating program press 3. if you

oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE

Takes a guy who's obsessed with saving people even if it risks his life and a guy who is literally allergic to asking for help in any situation and puts them in My stew puts them in my fucking stew and stirs it

choosing to ignore my weirdly symbolic dream because i have a lot going on rn already