here’s the truth: you’re a sloppy bitch

star wars: prequels incorrect quotes (2/?)

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

time and time again y’all have dunked on jonah hill for being “too fat”, for being “too private”, for having his own needs for his health, and now you’re gonna sit there and photograph him and poke fun at and comment on has body now that he’s lost weight???

shame on all of you cocksuckers.

whether through illness, exercise, dietary changes, or surgery, extreme weight loss changes your body in ways that are hard enough to grapple with on a PERSONAL level - none of you need to be doing it for anyone else.

and i know there’s the whole “he’s probably not gonna see it” thing - that’s not the point. the point is that i’m tired of seeing y’all talk about famous people - and people in general - as if you’re privy to the entirety of their personal lives, subjective experiences and motivations.

maybe i’m projecting, but let’s also not forget about chadwick boseman and how y’all who feel like commenting on other peoples bodies dropped the fucking ball on that one.

time and time again y’all have dunked on jonah hill for being “too fat”, for being “too private”, for having his own needs for his health, and now you’re gonna sit there and photograph him and poke fun at and comment on has body now that he’s lost weight???

shame on all of you cocksuckers.

whether through illness, exercise, dietary changes, or surgery, extreme weight loss changes your body in ways that are hard enough to grapple with on a PERSONAL level - none of you need to be doing it for anyone else.

and i know there’s the whole “he’s probably not gonna see it” thing - that’s not the point. the point is that i’m tired of seeing y’all talk about famous people - and people in general - as if you’re privy to the entirety of their personal lives, subjective experiences and motivations.

maybe i’m projecting, but let’s also not forget about chadwick boseman and how y’all who feel like commenting on other peoples bodies dropped the fucking ball on that one.

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.