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if i look back, i am lost
izzy's playlists!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@whysnobodytalking
has anyone here left home at 16?
i want to but idk any of the logistics of it, idk how it would work or how i could pay for myself to live. also idk how my family would react, any advice ??
I did it y'all. I escaped. I survived.
I left at fifteen and I have now been homeless for the last 6 months.
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I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn rewards by taking polls
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
how to avoid a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major
how to avoid a hangover
how to interview for a job
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to knit
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
how to stop avoiding asking for help
how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Apps for Asshats
Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
what to do if your pet gets lost
removing stains from your carpet
how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
throwing a dinner party
i’m pregnant, now what?
first aid tools to keep in your house
how to keep a clean kitchen
learning how to become independent from your parents
job interview tips
opening your first bank account
what to do if you lose your wallet
tips for cheap furniture
easy ways to cut your spending
selecting the right tires for your car
taking out your first loan
picking out the right credit card
how to get out of parking tickets
how to fix a leaky faucet
get all of your news in one place
getting rid of mice & rats in your house
when to go to the e.r.
buying your first home
how to buy your first stocks
guide to brewing coffee
first apartment essentials checklist
coping with a job you hate
30 books to read before you’re 30
what’s the deal with retirement?
difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Where to get help
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
(source)
Keep me updated? xx
Reblogging for myself
reblogging for those that follow me that may be starting to move out
for anyone who needs it in the foster system, i know some parents can be arses - if you need to escape and start living independently early this could help
ily, stay safe <33
can hand sanitiser kill you? like i drank a shot of it last night and it did get me drunk lol and im not dead yet so idk.
why is the law there but nobody actually follows through??
i am told that every action taken from when i reported abuse shouldve been in my best interest.
news flash:
it really fucking hasnt
its given me more mental illnesses, more problems, its increased the severity of my previous illnesses, its given me a physical disability and my life is now some really fucked up form of psychological torture.
idk its so confusing to me, like the law is there.
this isnt my best interest, this is destroying whatever the fuck is left of me.
just because im abused and worn down and sick doesnt make me any less of a person and just because the people who are in power are all so fucking privelidged they cant/refuse to see how much people are suffering does not mean that i deserve to be trapped in a house with my abusers.
it doesnt mean anyone deserves to be trapped in a house with their abusers.
the law states that everyone has the right to live free from abuse and neglect and being forced to live with your abusers breaches that right.
it is not my fault the childcare system hasnt got enough funding, its not your fault.
its the governments fault and i need them to hear that.
they wont - i am fully aware - but people are killing themselves, people are dying and they dont care, nobody cares. if i could tell you how much it hurts to be stuck in such a cold house which holds so much trauma and pain i would, but there are no words to describe that.
its a nightmare you cant wake up from, its a living hell. its torturous, its cruel, its dehumanising and it hurts so fucking much.
how to leave abusive households
please note - there is no one way to do this, this is just the way im going to do it, i can inform you how it goes but that will be any time in the next 3 years so like this is the best way my research has found idk how it will be in reality.
get a job, get a job, get a job - you WILL need the finances
prearrange a more or less permanent and stable place to stay at a friends - try not to sofa surf. someone i know did that and it did not end well
start moving your shit out a couple of months earlier so you dont have to carry it all at once, give it to trusted friends
if you want/need to tell your parents write them a note and leave it for them when you leave. literally just leave it on the table before you walk out the door
if your leaving age 16 and are from the uk then dm me because its A LOT more complicated and a complete pain up the arse
if you cant drive then find a safe way to get from your house to where ever it is youre staying
there are lots of charities you can use if you need help
remember that found families are genuinely so important especially if youre cutting contact with your birth family
prearrange a way youre going to access food/water
bring as many clothes as you can, you may not have the finances to buy new ones
remember why youre leaving, ik it might seem strange but remember the reason. youre not being impulsive youre escaping abuse and thats a very valid reason to leave
dm me if you have any specific questions
ily, stay safe <33
L.J.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
5 ways i parent myself
parenting is hard enough at the best of times let alone if your trying to parent yourself/younger siblings
here's 5 ways i parent myself for anyone who needs them:
when i wake up and sometimes randomly throughout the day, i check in with myself: 'hey sweetheart, are you okay? how are we feeling? what's your body telling us we need today?' then if i need something i make myself go get it. if i need something to eat i go eat it, if i need something to drink i go fucking drink it. theres no point checking in with your body if youre not going to listen to what it needs.
i try and reduce the amount of negative self talk. if you know any young children and wouldnt talk to them like you talk to yourself then try and stop it, if you wouldnt tell your friends what you tell yourself then try and stop it. negative self talk is a big one, good parents dont talk to their kids like shit. (the same with self harm, good parents dont hurt their children)
if i get stressed out in the middle of the day i try and take some time out to do some deep breathing, if possible i remove myself from the environment. i try to journal, do some exercise and reassure myself.
i make sure i eat enough, drink enough and take care of basic hygiene. i try and always prioritise my mental health , find ways of relaxing and find the positives in negative situations. obviously its not all positive and sometimes its really damn hard to keep looking at the bright sides but in the midst of some seriously horrific abuse if i let myself internally giggle because my abuser messed up their wording then it keeps me sane. optimism cushions the fall when things get real shitty
if im having a shit time, i try to stop what im doing, breath deeply and reassure myself that i will be okay. i make sure i allow myself to feel my emotions and that i allow myself to cry if i need to. its okay not to be okay.
these are just a few, i hope its useful
ily, stay safe
L.J.
FUCK
This is a difficult one to read, but it’s important to be aware of how deeply harmful and destructive anti-fat bias is. This happened this month in West Sussex. CW: Extreme fatphobia
Family court judge says parents failed to help severely overweight children and did not understand worry of West Sussex social services
Some words from Tracy Cox:
“Teenagers, removed from a loving home for being fat. Removed from a loving home for not using their social services-ordered fitbits or consistently attending weight watchers meetings.
Abuse and love has been completely conflated by the fear-mongering of anti-fat bias. Horrific set of priorities.”
My love and condolences to this family.
The world needs change. Now.
what in the FUCK
youre telling me my literally ABUSIVE parents are fine, thats completely acceptable, the fact i go home and feel like shit is ok, the fact theyve literally disabled me is ok, the fact that theyve ruined my fucking life is ok, the fact that my life is a living motherfuckin nightmare is so completely and absolutely fucking fine and YET they remove kids from their home for some shit like this ???? i literally wanna kms to get out of here but the government doesnt care about that yet theyre so fatphobic theyll do THIS ???
s3lf h@rm
TW// s3lf h@rm will be uncensored from now on
what is self harm?
the dictionary definition is:
deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a manifestation of a psychological or psychiatric disorder.
why do people self harm?
people self harm for many reasons and some of those include:
they feel numb and it makes them feel something
its a distraction to any mental pain/abuse/suffering
so that people pay attention to them (and yes that's a valid reason stop demonising attention seeking)
they believe that they deserve the pain
they've become addicted to pain
who self harms?
anyone can self harm but some of the ones at increased risk are:
people who have been abused
people with any form or past trauma (especially childhood trauma)
people with mental health issues
people who have suicidal tendencies
people of colour, people who are part of the lgbtqia+ community or any other person of a minority group
how to stop self harm
as i haven't had much experience with self harm i went to a friend who has and this is how they stopped it may not work for everyone, its hard, you really have to want it but its possible - dont lose hope.
when you want to sh then set a timer for one minute, when its finished prick yourself LIGHTLY with a safety pin. feel the pain but dont hurt yourself bad, okay?
do that for max 1 minute
once that minute is over set a timer for 5 minutes at the end of that 5 minutes flick elastic bands over your wrists
do that for max 5 minutes
after you've done that set a timer for 7 minutes after thats done then suck on ice
do that for max 7 minutes
then set a timer for 10minutes, after thats finished have a cold shower
do that for max 10 minutes
then set a timer for 12 minutes, after that 12 minutes is up punch a pillow, rip up newspaper, scribble on a page whatever it is you need to get out express it let yourself go you need to feel that to get it out let it go
do that for 12 mins but if you need more then go for it
once you've felt all you need to feel go for a run, do some cardio or some really fuckin vigorous exersize (make sure you eat well before and after though), get some endorphins going
after youve done that if you still want to sh then call a friend, watch a movie, make a hot drink, read a good book, have a nap, do some journalling, make some art, play some music - look after yourself.
during the time when the timer is going do some deep breathing/meditation
-------
this is just an idea you dont have to follow that exact structure, i hope its helpful
ily, stay safe <3
L.J.
I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN OVER AND OVER UNTIL SOMEONE FUCKING HEARS ME.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS JUST AS BAD AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT 'WORSE' THAN PHYSICAL ABUSE.
I DO AND ALWAYS WILL PREFER IT WHEN MY FATHER IS HITTING ME THAN WHEN HE IS SWEARING AND INSULTING ME, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR BEING ALIVE.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE HAS LONGER LASTING PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS THAN PHYSICAL ABUSE AND IT LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE.
WHY EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS LEGAL GROUND FOR DIVORCE AND OFTEN YOU CAN BE FINED FOR IT IF YOURE AN ADULT AND THERE ARE NO LAWS PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM IT IS FUCKING ME UP.
CAN WE SOMEONE WAKE THE FUCK UP AND DO SOMETHING??
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
how to look after yourself if you've never been taught how
a couple of weeks ago i realised that i had never been taught how to properly look after myself. my parents did teach me the very basics - eat, drink, shower, clean ur teeth but they stopped properly checking about 13 years ago and so because baby me knew no better i just sorta stopped.
as u become a teenager your personal hygiene can look different to how it was when you were little so i did some research and i made a list - the ones that are important are in green and the ones that are more optional i put in pink.
keeping your general body clean:
shower once a day/every two days - this depends shower after you workout, shower on very hot days, shower if you go swimming, shower after you do anything that gets you sweaty/grimy/dirty
use deodorant daily
if you want to, use body spray - when i discovered this was a thing i felt very deprived lol
clean your teeth twice a day for about 2 minutes - nobody ever told me it was meant to be for 2 minutes (if you've had shitty dental care for obvious reasons then clean them 3 times a day for a while)
if u have longer hair then brush your hair at least once a day - some people do it more often but the point is to make sure that there aren't any knots
get changed in the morning and again in the evening (i found that buying my first pair of pyjamas helped me do this - i LOVE pyjamas i kinda forgot people wore them)
if u wear any makeup then remove it at night
i know it seems obvious but change ur underwear daily and dont rewear it, wash it in the sink if its a problem
wash your hair once or twice a week, maybe more if your hair needs it - again its just whenever its dirty
eat at least 2 meals every day
drink whenever your thirsty - listen to your body
use mouthwash if you want, a lot of people do but id say especially if dental care hasnt been a priority for you recently it would be a good idea
same goes for flossing
try and move about a little - dance to a good song, go for a walk somewhere pretty, go out of your way to watch a sunset, do a workout
ily, stay safe
L.J
according to the dictionary of cambridge financial abuse is: a situation in which someone harms another person in a close relationship in ways that relate to money, for example by using the other person's money for themselves, or making them spend money by tricking them some examples of financial abuse include:
A family member who repeatedly pressures a parent for money or borrows money, but never repays it
Adult children who use a parent's pension and then makes the parent ask them for money
A person who misuses a power of attorney.
pressure in connection with wills, property or inheritance or financial transactions
the misuse or misappropriation of property, possessions or benefits
examples of financial abuse from parents/guardians to children include:
The guardians refuse to give updates about their financial situation - usually when it directly affects the child
the guardians take whatever money the child has been given/has worked for and keep it for themselves
the guardians lie about their financial situation - i.e. saying they're in debt whilst still having enough money to live comfortably
the guardians blame their (supposed) lack of money on the child
the guardians repeatedly tells the child that they cost so much money to keep and should be grateful for the bare minimum
possible signs that your being financially abused:
Unexplained withdrawals from the bank.
Unusual activity in the bank accounts.
Unpaid bills.
Unexplained shortage of money.
Reluctance on the part of the person with responsibility for the funds to provide basic food and clothes
possible signs that someone you know is being financially abused:
Lack of money to pay for essentials such as rent, bills and food
Inability to access or check bank accounts and bank balance.
Changes or deterioration in standards of living e.g. not having items or things they would usually have.
sudden fear of spending money
social withdrawal
i hope this helps, im trying to post more regularly now ily, stay safe
L.J
No child deserves to feel like their existence is a burden.
No child deserves to feel like they shouldn't exist.
No child deserves to hate themself.
No child deserves to live their life in fear of angering their parents.
No child deserves to live their life in fear of disappointing their parents.
Children deserve to be loved. They deserve to feel safe, cared for, and wanted. They deserve to enjoy their life.
It is never the child's fault when the parent fails to provide these things. It is the parents fault.
The child never asked to be born. It is the parent who wanted this, and therefore it is the parent's responsibility.
i often forget im still a child. i havent felt like a child for as long as ive been alive. particularly this last year, this last year has been too much for me to deal with. i lived off of adrenaline i didnt have for 7 months of it, from the start of november until late may my heart rate didnt slow down, i didnt stop wishing i was dead. there's despair and then theres whatever the fuck im supposed to call that. its not something words could describe. no child deserves that and no child should be put through that. children should have support and people should fucking care about them.
i know im really inactive, im trying to change that but im struggling with my mental health.
im an athlete, a student and a musician. i also face abuse daily and my time management skills are on the floor.
i apologise but i am doing my best - i made a new plan so posts are coming soon ig
ily, stay safe <33
I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn rewards by taking polls
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
how to avoid a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major
how to avoid a hangover
how to interview for a job
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to knit
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
how to stop avoiding asking for help
how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Apps for Asshats
Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
what to do if your pet gets lost
removing stains from your carpet
how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
throwing a dinner party
i’m pregnant, now what?
first aid tools to keep in your house
how to keep a clean kitchen
learning how to become independent from your parents
job interview tips
opening your first bank account
what to do if you lose your wallet
tips for cheap furniture
easy ways to cut your spending
selecting the right tires for your car
taking out your first loan
picking out the right credit card
how to get out of parking tickets
how to fix a leaky faucet
get all of your news in one place
getting rid of mice & rats in your house
when to go to the e.r.
buying your first home
how to buy your first stocks
guide to brewing coffee
first apartment essentials checklist
coping with a job you hate
30 books to read before you’re 30
what’s the deal with retirement?
difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Where to get help
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
(source)
Keep me updated? xx
Reblogging for myself
reblogging for those that follow me that may be starting to move out
for anyone who needs it in the foster system, i know some parents can be arses - if you need to escape and start living independently early this could help
ily, stay safe <33
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this post hasn't left my mind since i've first saw it
i havent posted in a while bc im going through some shit but-
Idk if you've seen the childcare system has been in the news recently for 2 reasons that ive seen.
number 1:
it was in the guardian because if a straight couple are getting a divorce and in court the woman reports the man for abuse the woman can lose custody of her children for 'alienating' them from their abusive father.
this means that if a woman reports abuse then, regardless as to whether or not its a true accusation, the case wont be investigated so the alleged abuser wont be prosecuted AND she'll lose her children.
this means, children who have had literally nothing to do with their parents divorce but have lived with their abusive father would be forced to stay with their father and rarely possibly even never see their mother who cares for them.
heres the link -
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jul/21/abused-uk-children-family-courts-parental-alienation?fbclid=IwAR3P6fEYsyPU1qIYFSCpWSLd6hE56LRsIsAN4kvQ3AoeI97MIXkpkfStdjg
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https://gov.wales/sites/default/files/publications/2018-05/review-of-research-and-case-law-on-parental-alienation.pdf
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number 2:
Lambeth council just looked into their carehomes and the abuse reports were 'shocking'.
no. they werent shocking. it didnt surprise me that many kids in care homes were abused and neglected.
if there were so many abuse cases that came into light when ONE council did an inquiry can we imagine how many that would be brought to light if the whole damn country did. its not a one off occurrence - the whole system is broken. its designed to make adults lives easier while our children face the hardships.
heres the links -
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/jul/27/hundreds-of-children-abused-while-in-care-of-lambeth-council-inquiry-finds
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https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/jul/27/like-hell-what-former-lambeth-childrens-home-residents-told-abuse-inquiry
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sorry ive not been posting my brains having a moment - the summer holidays are hell ://
ily, stay safe <33
