Learning the Hard Way

But now boys and girls it’s time for a new and short lived segment I like to call “Mobid Science”!

Have you ever seen a horror movie wherein someone gets a face full of fluid causing them to resemble Arnold Ernst Toht ? Of course you have! Anxious to get your grubby little hands on some of that action? Well sickos here are a few fun candidates for ya should any of you lovelies ever decide to because super villains. 

Hydrofluoric Acid: Has a nasty habit of working it’s way through skin and muscle on down to the bones to your tasty, tasty calcium. Usually by the time people notice the damage the acid has caused (beyond the initial contact burn) the acid is already busy dissolving the surrounding bone and traveling around the blood stream causing serious damage to every vital organ it meets. Oh, and let’s not forget that accidentally taking a gulping breath of it in gaseous form is enough to cause a pulmonary edema.   

Sulfuric Acid: A strong acid with an intense love of water, also known as that thing that makes up ~70% of the human body. Not only does sulfuric acid have an intense exothermic reaction to water (gives out heat) but it is also  hygroscopic, which means it’s going to attract water from areas it wasn’t even in contact with. What this means for you and your squishy bits is that not only are you going to get immediately and SEVERELY burned, but your surviving skin will suffer from dehydration so serious that it could causes the skin to die. While we’re on the topic of sulfur

Sulphur trioxide: Just... watch this. Do I really need to say anymore about it? Didn’t think so. 

Sodium Hydroxide: The most corrosive base and better known by it’s street name “Lye”; you know, the stuff they use to turn fat into soap and what Tyler Durden used to make kiss shaped burns on people. It’s corrosive, burns every tissue it comes into contact with, and it hydrolyzes proteins which is bad news for things like eyes. 

Dimethylmercury: Goes through even nitrile gloves in seconds and exposure to even a few drops for a few seconds is enough to kill a healthy adult within a few weeks due to mercury poisoning. It is EXTREMELY toxic, EXTREMELY potent, EXTREMELY deadly, and just because it felt like being even more dickish, both highly reactive and flammable. You don’t want this shit anywhere near you. 

Sodium cyanide: Releases hydrogen cyanide gas (kills you quickly and almondy) as a reaction byproduct, and it reacts to almost everything, air included.  

Batrachotoxin: A fatal does of this shit is so ridiculously low that it’s measured in micrograms. Micrograms! MICROGRAMS!

For more fun idea on how chemistry can ruin your life, visit the “Things I won’t work with” archive linked here. 

Remember kids: science is like fire; it is your friend and it is beautiful, but if you fuck around with it, it will kill you. 

And now back to the movie! 

The short of it is that a woman inherits a hotel where a man opened up one of the gates of hell decades ago, killed a whole lot of people, and was in turn killed for it. She does some remodeling which somehow reanimates said gatekeeper and unleashes the forces of hell upon her and her construction crew. 

No “maybe you should reconsider”, no “let me give you the name of a good child psychologist and therapist who might be able to help, no “are you sure you’re mentally and physically prepared to take on a special needs and possibly possessed child?”. Just... “Here ya go, good luck, see you in a few weeks when he snaps and tries to murder you.”  

So here’s another movies about how kids are terrifying brought to you by not-best Korea. The spooky kid this time is young Kim Jin-sung an orphan boy whose hobbies include drawing, trees, bugs, staring blankly off into space, making new friends, trees, and getting the short end of the stick. 

He is adopted by a childless couple hounded into parenthood by their parents. However once he’s been adopted, Grandma hates Kim Jin-sung because he’s not biologically related to her, and Grandpa just really couldn’t give less of a fuck. As for the parents themselves, Kim Jin-sung’s mom and dad are pretty decent parents when everything goes well, but as soon as things go poorly or Kim Jin-sung gets distressed about anything they opt for the “look the other way and pretend it’s not happening” parenting style. 

Mom eventually becomes pregnant with a biological child which leads to them ignoring Kim Jin-sung completely and eventually agreeing to return him entirely (at Grandma’s coercion). Distraught by being abandoned by his new family Kim Jin-sung runs off to be “with his real mom”. Do his parents call the police? Nope; Dad won’t let them because it would affect their reputation. Do they make any real effort to look for him? Nope, Dad won’t let them because... fuck if I know, he’s an asshole. 

I’ll give the mom here a little credit here; she does get notably distressed and worried when Kim Jin-sung disappears, but that show of concern might have been a little more touching if she hadn’t been and wasn’t still planning on returning him to the orphanage Honestly though, everyone in the family is an asshole. Maybe not the baby, but that’s only because he hadn’t developed a personality yet. 

Turns out Kim Jin-sung DID find his mom... once he was killed...as an angry ghost... living in the tree out back. She and he join forces and fight the good fight against those who wronged them in the form of splintery, nature related physical and psychological revenge. Grandma goes down first via flower power, Grandpa second via ants, but then BUM BUM BUUUUUUM PLOT TWIST! DRAMATIC MUSIC! 

I’m not going to spoil it because it’s pretty snazzy, so instead I’m going to talk about something interesting I noticed that is utterly unrelated to the plot. Ghosts with mirrors for eyes.