Make Believe

He watched her everyday as she walk in to class, She was mature but had a dark edge to her. For some reason he felt like he had to know more. He knew that simply asking her out for coffee was out of the question this girl was 16 not a 22 year old and it was way inappropriate he could risk his job. So of course he made up an excuse to keep her after class, whatever it was he'd made up it worked it was complete irrelevant for he had know intention of bringing it up after class. Luckily the class he taught was the very last period and so he had the whole afternoon to figure out this beautiful young creature. He left a note on her desk reminding her of they're "after class meeting" . When the bell rang and everyone left the room she slowly walked over to his desk before he could say anything he looked her over......Those sparkling green eyes so wide and innocent that long blond hair in ringlets bouncing with every step, her perky tits were braless covered with a tight band t-shirt she was hot when she approached him he could smell dove hairspray and sugar free bubble gum. He knew he shouldn't be looking at her like this but he couldn't help it, He started buy asking how she was followed by other small questions to make her feel comfortable she seemed reluctant at first but became much more comfortable. He could tell she was attracted him by the way she held herself around him and how she twisted her hair between her fingers. "So do you have a boyfriend?" he asked "Hahaha yeah....right...No I don't" she giggled and suddenly looked at him seriously "Do you have a wife?" he looked at her and smiled "Nope I actually don't believe in marriage, But really I'd figure a beautiful girl like yourself would rule the halls." He quickly redirected the subject back to her but now she was hooked " You don't believe in marriage? Well there must be allot of broken hearts out there." He looked up and noticed she was was staring at her feet nervous "You don't need to be nervous.....you really are beautiful." He gently titled her head upward and kissed her bottom lip shocked she froze and he tensed , she gave in and kissed back. They kissed a few time and then she stopped and ran to the door "This is wrong what we're doing." She looked upset and so did he "Everything happens for a reason, maybe it's not wrong." And just as she about to walk out the door she turns around...

happy chicken

Now I realize that maybe it's okay that I'm not as experienced as all my friends. It's okay I haven't really had a serious relationship even though I am 17, who cares? I did for awhile until I realized how am I suppose to be in a relationship with someone when I can't even take care of myself completely I don't even fully know who I am yet. All I know is that yes I do want a boyfriend I do want that typical love story with a happy ending....What girl doesn't? But that's just not my top priority, I need to focus on myself because if I'm some crazy confused girl that can't figure out anything and is completely at a loss that wouldn't make for a sturdy relationship. I want to be able to take care of myself be self reliant then find someone who can make me happy as well :) Out of all my experiences nothing has matured me in any way shape or form so I need to stop looking for relations to fix things. I am the only one who can help myself grow physically and mentally.

Whenever I'm upset all I need to do is listen to them favorite band forever <3

The most beautiful thing in life is ruined for me.

I'll meet you there soon

It helped her realize she wasn't alone 

One who does not try is a lost artist

Tomorrow shall be better

-Erin Bilstein