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@whoneedsthereality-blog

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love poets die too. love poets die as well. love poets die especially.
The Teacher part II.
He watched her everyday as she walk in to class, She was mature but had a dark edge to her. For some reason he felt like he had to know more. He knew that simply asking her out for coffee was out of the question this girl was 16 not a 22 year old and it was way inappropriate he could risk his job. So of course he made up an excuse to keep her after class, whatever it was he'd made up it worked it was complete irrelevant for he had know intention of bringing it up after class. Luckily the class he taught was the very last period and so he had the whole afternoon to figure out this beautiful young creature. He left a note on her desk reminding her of they're "after class meeting" . When the bell rang and everyone left the room she slowly walked over to his desk before he could say anything he looked her over......Those sparkling green eyes so wide and innocent that long blond hair in ringlets bouncing with every step, her perky tits were braless covered with a tight band t-shirt she was hot when she approached him he could smell dove hairspray and sugar free bubble gum. He knew he shouldn't be looking at her like this but he couldn't help it, He started buy asking how she was followed by other small questions to make her feel comfortable she seemed reluctant at first but became much more comfortable. He could tell she was attracted him by the way she held herself around him and how she twisted her hair between her fingers. "So do you have a boyfriend?" he asked "Hahaha yeah....right...No I don't" she giggled and suddenly looked at him seriously "Do you have a wife?" he looked at her and smiled "Nope I actually don't believe in marriage, But really I'd figure a beautiful girl like yourself would rule the halls." He quickly redirected the subject back to her but now she was hooked " You don't believe in marriage? Well there must be allot of broken hearts out there." He looked up and noticed she was was staring at her feet nervous "You don't need to be nervous.....you really are beautiful." He gently titled her head upward and kissed her bottom lip shocked she froze and he tensed , she gave in and kissed back. They kissed a few time and then she stopped and ran to the door "This is wrong what we're doing." She looked upset and so did he "Everything happens for a reason, maybe it's not wrong." And just as she about to walk out the door she turns around...
Randoem.
moose
kitten
leo
el tigre
doggy
buckster
happy chicken
Finding myself
Now I realize that maybe it's okay that I'm not as experienced as all my friends. It's okay I haven't really had a serious relationship even though I am 17, who cares? I did for awhile until I realized how am I suppose to be in a relationship with someone when I can't even take care of myself completely I don't even fully know who I am yet. All I know is that yes I do want a boyfriend I do want that typical love story with a happy ending....What girl doesn't? But that's just not my top priority, I need to focus on myself because if I'm some crazy confused girl that can't figure out anything and is completely at a loss that wouldn't make for a sturdy relationship. I want to be able to take care of myself be self reliant then find someone who can make me happy as well :) Out of all my experiences nothing has matured me in any way shape or form so I need to stop looking for relations to fix things. I am the only one who can help myself grow physically and mentally.

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Just listen to Fleetwood Mac.
Whenever I'm upset all I need to do is listen to them favorite band forever <3
He said I love you...
I tried to love you
Because you loved me
But you gave up before anything could even start
Why are you making feel this way
Afraid to love
I guess that was already down the drain
But I could have tried
But you never contacting me
How is this suppose to work
I'm scared of love
Terrified
Mortified
I told you I loved you back
And that was that
that was it?
The most beautiful thing in life is ruined for me.

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She died today..
I usually don't post personal things on here but one of my dear friends past today and in memory of her I wrote a poem. She was very young and funny and beautiful this was a terrible day for me and her family :(
Today she passed away
But I still remember that day
She came in screaming
Butt naked
I still remember the drunken nights
The sweet sound of fights
The intelligence that no one else saw
The sweet sweet smell of maryjane
The way she drove boys insane
She was a whisk of fresh air
And a breathe of young
Rest In paradise baby
I'll meet you there soon
Not Alone -Erin Bilstein
She ran out the door with tears in her eyes
She ran for blocks and blocks
Until she couldn't breathe
And her tears were just broken dry sobs
She sat on the sidewalk
Right smack in the middle
She put her head phone on and turns her ipod on full volume
The sweet sounds of Kurt Cobain fill her ears
"I'm so happy cus today I found a friend in my head"
She needed an escape
Her dad a complete drunk was angry about something
She never knew the source of his anger was
Probably the alcohol he wasn't a jolly drunk
Her mother died last year and it's only gotten worse
But she was strong
But it got to be to much sometimes
So she'd run as far as she could
and watch the people walk by
Happy Sad angry
Everyone was different it helped her
It helped her realize she wasn't alone
smoke signals. cars spitting up smoke signals. the dead girl’s body spitting up smoke signals.
i can’t read the sky unless it’s bound and its spine is cracked. crack my spine in the river. press our bodies together in the river.
lovely.
Being. -Erin Bilstein
One who does not believe in something is a lost soul
One who is looking for someone is a lost heart
One who does not try is a lost artist

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Tomorrow shall be better.
Even though today I'm alone
I'm upset
And tired
Tomorrow shall bring happiness
Tomorrow I'll be stronger
Tomorrow shall be better
......Infatuation from a distance
Truthfully I've fallen
A millions times
over him
over her
them
the simplicity in they're speech
the magnetic force in his smile
the kill yourself now smoldering eyes she bares
the way they walk
as if there isn't a care in the world
while myself I stare
beneath the dirty stare case
Obsessive
Compulsive
Chewing down on my already scarred bloody nubbs
Now and then I sketch they're beautiful figures adding myself to the portraits
Because in an alternate universe they need me more than anything.
-Erin Bilstein