the heart beats in threes just like a waltz

i’m not the prettiest on tumblr at all but i can do twenty pull ups 

Cool i am the prettiest and i can do twenty one

Aaaaand they will disbar a lawyer QUICK but these cops get paid vacation.

All I’m saying is you need a master’s to be a social worker, but you can be a cop with a high school diploma. Like, on what fucking planet do that make sense?

Hair stylists go through a longer period of education and stricter licensing with violations in the state of California than cops do.

[leans in to whisper in your ear mid-sex] bobby newport’s never had a real job, in his life

THEY LITERALLY HANG THEM UP TO DRY IN CRYING OH MY GOD

sabahelnoorr omg please watch

i don’t understand sloths at all