#nolove

Don't start making your assumptions, I am not a pessimist I don't hate love i could never. But I know myself I know how I think how i function. Love requires you to let yourself, to say I am yours. And I can't do that, i can't look at someone and be completely lost in them, don't hate me. The truth is I have become apathetic I don't feel things anymore,if a person is does dies in front of me I won't even flinch i don't care anymore and that is very scary. Because I used to but I can't anymore it's too much, understanding everyone's perspective and them not even thinking if they hurt you, that's true that how people are , don't pity me i have become one of them.

I remember I looked at someone who I had a huge crush on and genuine wanted them as my partner but all I could think about how I wouldn't even think twice about leaving them if they start fighting or start being annoying. (Fault mujhme me hai) But I genuinely can't just think i wouldn't get hurt if I start getting attached and this has started spreading its root in my non romantic relationships too.

I completely believe that nobody will ever fall in love me, maybe that's my insecurity speaking I don't know. All i know is I will never fall in love. People ask me about my teenage romance and when I say nothing they personally get offended, how do I explain I am literally fighting myself. I can't trust people anymore and that is very sad way too sad.

I still believe in love stories, I do image my non existent husband while listening to romantic songs, but I also always remind myself that he will always be non existent. I still want a relationship like paravti maa and shiv ji.

I feel I am hurt just by seeing the news and slowly i have also turned toxic and i don't want to return to normal cause being toxic has protected my peace much more than being understanding ever did.

Thank you

would you feel love for another human? honestly, I don’t - I just don’t find that connection between a phrase and a feeling. I can love things - but not a person. saying „I love you“ feels wrong. like a lie. I wouldn’t express. it’s not in my mind. there’s nothing to find inside. though, I love ice cream. and I love that song below.

Ooh it's so good, it's so good

It's so good, it's so good

It's so good

Ooh I'm in love, I'm in love

I'm in love, I'm in love

I'm in love

Ooh I feel love, I feel love

I feel love, I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

Ooh fall and free, fall and free

Fall and free, fall and free

Fall and free

Ooh you and me, you and me

You and me, you and me

You and me

Ooh I feel love, I feel love

I feel love, I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

Ooh, I got you, I got you

I got you, I got you

I got you

Ooh, What you do, what you do

What you do, what you do

What you do

Ooh, I feel love, I feel love

I feel love, I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

I feel love

why do we fall in love?

is it out of need, out of connection, or that quiet fear of walking through the world alone?

sometimes we think love is just a beautiful accident — a glance crossing another, someone showing up right when your soul is tired of getting lost.

and yeah, sometimes it does feel like coincidence.

but other times, love grows out of emptiness, out of wounds — from that broken part of you that’s not looking for someone to complete it, but to remind it that it can still feel.

love doesn’t always come when we’re ready.

sometimes it shows up when we need it the most, or when we mistake it for hope, for shelter, for something that’ll save us.

it just walks in, unannounced, uninvited, and settles in the places we thought were already dead.

loving someone isn’t just about feeling — it’s about choosing to stay.

it’s looking at someone and silently saying: i’m not here because i need you to fill something in me. i’m here because with you, i feel more like myself.

but we live in a time where everything moves fast.

people get replaced like moments.

and feeling deeply? that scares people.

because loving for real means dropping your armor, risking your heart with no guarantees, giving yourself without knowing if that hand will still be there tomorrow.

sometimes we don’t fall in love with a person, but with who we become around them —

the calm they bring, the light they spark, the way life starts breathing inside us again.

and yeah, we don’t always love who we choose.

sometimes it just happens — without warning, without logic, without a plan.

but if that love changed you, if it made you more honest, stronger, more human…

even if it hurt — it wasn’t a mistake.

maybe it was exactly what you needed.

to grow. to see yourself differently.

to understand that some loves aren’t meant to stay…

They pulled the curtain

and the world kept movin’.

I could hear it

shoes on linoleum,

voices,

laughter even,

the squeak of a cart

goin’ somewhere

that wasn’t here.

I counted the minutes

on a ceilin’ I didn’t choose.

Eyed the curtain breathe

from the air conditionin’

like it was more alive than I was.

They knew I was here.

They walked past.

Again.

And besides.

And furthermore.

I called them.

I trusted them.

I paid for them

every April,

each check,

every dollar docked

before I ever saw it

for this.

For a curtain.

For a corner.

For the privilege

of being forgotten

in a room full of people

who took an oath.

First they asked for my card.

Insurance.

Coverage.

Plan.

Like I was a transaction

before I was a person.

Like the number in their system

mattered more

than the body in their hallway.

They sedated me.

Tucked me away.

Disposed of me

like somethin’

they didn’t want to deal with

until they had to.

And I lay there

behind that curtain

listenin’ to the world go on

shoes on linoleum,

a cart goin’ somewhere,

laughter

from people who forgot

I existed

and I thought:

I came here to be saved.

This is what your taxes buy.

This is what your trust buys.

A curtain.

A corner.

A ceilin’ you count

because nobody comes.

They are paid enormous checks

to watch us suffer

and look the other way.

And we let them.

We allowed it.

We permitted them to.