Can't I Do Whatever I Want?

this blog is a museum of my heart

Late January 2021: Reddit collapses the stock market Late March 2021: Big fat boat disrupts international trade Late May 2021: ‘Minions’ meme leads to universal healthcare Late July 2021: Sentient drones unionize, bankrupting Amazon Late September 2021: The blue man group eradicates coronavirus

Likes charge, reblogs cast

my activeness on tumblr directly correlates to how much i should not be on tumblr in this moment

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

you know that gag where there’s a character who’s falling off a ledge to their death and they’re all teary and the music swells as their hand slips and then the shot zooms out to show they fell like. two feet. that’s what answering important emails feels like.

i hope that people who leave rants in their tags, people who leave descriptions for their playlists, people who have funny titles for their essays, people who read aloud to themselves, people who giggle at their own jokes, and people who smile when they make eye contact with strangers are all having excellent days

i would like to ask the universe to please get to the point

Mutuals please be aware I am walking between your desks and dropping lolly pops and small cards in your cardboard mailboxes as I go around

I have to admit. I am not living la vida loca