whiskeypoweredmayhem

If you're a good mother, I hope you have a great day. My daughter is here hanging out in her room working on some art and listening to music. She doesn't want to see or talk to her mother and neither I or her grandparents are going to make her do that. Her mom did reach out, through the grandparents to ask if she could see her today. Didn't call me directly, had them do it. My daughter said no.

I'm sure my ex blames me in some way for this, but I'm not the one who went and got strung out, I'm not the one who brought abusive men into the house where my children lived, I'm not the one who lost that house because I spent the money my family gave me for bills supporting a dope habit (actually two habits, hers and whatever loser she was with at the time) I'm not the one who was physically and emotionally abusive TO A CHILD, HER OWN CHILD WHO LOVED HER, FROM THE TIME SHE WAS THREE YEARS OLD UNTIL SHE WAS NINE. Who now, on Mothers Day, just before her tenth birthday, doesn't even want to talk to her on the phone.

I tried my best to help her, gave her a place to live, gave her all I had to give. She claimed to want to start over with me but it was just manipulation and she lied, stole from me, cheated, hurt our child and her little brother, (he's got a different father who is a complete junkie deadbeat) and actually spit in my face, not metaphorically, actual spit, because I told her she needed to get her shit together and be a mother even if we weren't going to be together. Now she's with a slack jawed mouthbreather pillhead, a fucking loser, and honestly I hope her day fucking sucks. I hope it's miserable enough that maybe reality begins to take hold and break through the narcissism and she can begin to see how badly she's fucked this all up. But she'll play victim and tell sob stories to all the shitbag junkies she hangs out with and bask in the sympathy as she flushes her life down the toilet.

What's sad is even after all the pain she caused me, I still love her and I still want to see her have the best life. I just don't want to see her face, read her words or hear her voice for a while and I don't know how long it'll be that way