Depression forcemasc where he finds me laying in bed, stomach turning, world slipping away from me and he grabs my shoulders and pulls me to look at him.
“We have to do something now,” he almost whispers. He grabs my coat and puts my shoes on my feet and pulls me up to drag me to the door.
I mutter something about my hair being messy and he dismisses it, “nobody will give a fuck where we’re going.” I try to find something in me to be excited, but it’s still just noise.
He parks the car at the park and gets out before coming up to me with a bandana, a goofy grin on his face. “When I was a kid, my guy friend did this to me. It was so awesome. I wanna do it for your now.” I flush a little, he reads my face, “No, dude, it’s not like that, just c’mere.”
He puts the bandana over my eyes and leads me away from the car. I trip over the rocks a little but it’s nothing more than a skinned knee. He leads me through twists and turns and up hills until we stop. I hear him laughing, and I feel my heart pumping and something is melting in me, something letting this joy peak through.
“Okay, man, take the blindfold off.” I do and I look at him, golden light across his face and a huge smile. “Ta-dah!” He gestures toward the light and I turn to see a beautiful sunset. The sun peaks through the clouds, turning them many colors. I feel some tears on my face and quickly move my hand to wipe them.
“Hey it’s alright bro, that’s the point of this.” He looks soft in the glowy light, “look, you’re a man, always have been. You’ve gone through so much to get here, fought so many ignorant shitheads. But men shouldn’t hold it all in.
“And when I was a kid, my friend and his mom brought me here because I was getting bullied by some assholes for my cleft lip. He told me his grandpa used to bring him. His grandpa said when you’re here, there’s no reason to keep those feelings down. It’s just you and the sun. Man to man. So I cried and felt a lot better. Something about the majesty of a sunset, or whatever.”
So I look back at the sun and I cry a bit. I left myself let go of some of the baggage. I reach for his hand and he gives it to me. The sun disappears, the sky turning that deep blue. I breathe in the sweet air of summer.
