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noise dept.
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Mike Driver
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shark vs the universe

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Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
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@whereissassy
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so Iâm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my female presenting nipplesâŚ
@TIME
How does this cat do a fucking crossover and I canât figure it out.

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But actuallyâŚ
In Daily Shouts:Â A Foolproof Guide to Achieving Literary Success
*seductively slips into existential melancholy*

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Itâs totally cool how the official White House twitter is pushing white nationalist talking points.
important to note that this isnât even being disguised as anti-illegal immigration.
the white house is taking a stance against LEGAL immigration here. their infographic says âadmitted to the USâ. itâs blatant racism.
HAPPY NEW YEARS YALL LETâS IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT THIS YEAR
Everyone: maturing, becoming adults, functioning
Me:
My bed for literally two weeks now because me, a 27 year old adult, can not be bothered.

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Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
âHe leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.â
âStones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.â
âHe gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.â
âIt looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.â
âIf it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.â
And, of course: âThe ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks donât.â
the one that will always stay with me is âArthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,â i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
Douglas Adams was a man who knew where his towel was.
my bank account to me when Iâm looking at my bank statement after a good weekend