Jamie

Like yes, teenagers write embarrassing, cringey stuff and post it to some fanfic website all the time, thats fine, normal, good for you!!

I took it one step further, I stepped over the irreversible line, and forever doomed myself to secondhand humiliation.

When I was 15/16 I got a 3 on my English midterms (Norwegian school system: graded 1-6, 1 is fail, 6 is best) and i was disappointed as English was one of my best subjects (never a top student, but average around 4-5 grade).

I, bless my soul, didn’t want my English teacher to think I was that bad of an English writer, so what did I do?

I went home filled with determination, picked out one of my «best» works, and printed out 7 PAGES (or ca. 2200 words) WORTH OF EMBARRASSINGLY WRITTEN GAY FLUFF of merthur from bbc Merlin.

I proudly gave it my English teacher and made her promise to read it and come back to me after the holidays.

Let me pint the picture. Me, the quiet weird kid in class dressed in hoodie and sweatpants, basically threatening my teacher (30’s) with gay fanfic. Her looking like this😀 because this was obviously not how she wanted to spend her holidays, but she also didn’t want to hurt my feelings. (She ended up reading it while on skiing holiday with her boyfriend in the mountain ffs😭)

Let me remind you, that this was a gay merthur fic that ended with a very awkward kiss.

She hadnt watched bbc Merlin before (I asked) and I can guarantee you that in her experience, Merlin is an old silly wizard and Arthur a lanky child. And while I did say it was from the setting bbc Merlin, this still had to be a weird experience.

I don’t remember what she said when she returned the 7 pages of embarrassment, but I know it it was short and that she tried to be polite. I do however remember her expression. 🙂.

I die everytime I think about this.

If it helps in another merthur related “incident”

One of my closest friends only trusts my opinion on fanfiction and makes me send her things (in pdf form) from time to time.

So i downloaded a ton, and sent her one, without looking at it.

I get a call minutes after sending it.

She’s in tears. Tells me not to open the fic.

I open the fic. It’s porn. There’s men fucking everywhere. So me, a women leaning unlabeled and my lesbian friend are both crying to the porn on a merthur fic.

Half of the hate i receive is telling me I suck (i certainly suck something) and the other half is like this, telling me to not be French.

Like yes, teenagers write embarrassing, cringey stuff and post it to some fanfic website all the time, thats fine, normal, good for you!!

I took it one step further, I stepped over the irreversible line, and forever doomed myself to secondhand humiliation.

When I was 15/16 I got a 3 on my English midterms (Norwegian school system: graded 1-6, 1 is fail, 6 is best) and i was disappointed as English was one of my best subjects (never a top student, but average around 4-5 grade).

I, bless my soul, didn’t want my English teacher to think I was that bad of an English writer, so what did I do?

I went home filled with determination, picked out one of my «best» works, and printed out 7 PAGES (or ca. 2200 words) WORTH OF EMBARRASSINGLY WRITTEN GAY FLUFF of merthur from bbc Merlin.

I proudly gave it my English teacher and made her promise to read it and come back to me after the holidays.

Let me pint the picture. Me, the quiet weird kid in class dressed in hoodie and sweatpants, basically threatening my teacher (30’s) with gay fanfic. Her looking like this😀 because this was obviously not how she wanted to spend her holidays, but she also didn’t want to hurt my feelings. (She ended up reading it while on skiing holiday with her boyfriend in the mountain ffs😭)

Let me remind you, that this was a gay merthur fic that ended with a very awkward kiss.

She hadnt watched bbc Merlin before (I asked) and I can guarantee you that in her experience, Merlin is an old silly wizard and Arthur a lanky child. And while I did say it was from the setting bbc Merlin, this still had to be a weird experience.

I don’t remember what she said when she returned the 7 pages of embarrassment, but I know it it was short and that she tried to be polite. I do however remember her expression. 🙂.

I die everytime I think about this.