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they're just jealous that my body has already completely rotted inside and will decompose faster when it dies

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

july being tomorrow for the love of god this cant be happening.

weather authorities reportedly issuing a severe "wednesday alert" for tomorrow

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.

Genuinely I just don't think people younger than 35 know how good they have it. I distinctly remember the year in my childhood that it became illegal to smoke in restaurants, I remember what it was like when people used to smoke indoors everywhere, you all think it's cool because it's this illicit fun thing people are doing drunk outside bars now, you don't remember what it was like when fucking everything reeked all the time and you couldn't get away from it and how life changing it was when you could suddenly go out to eat and everything didn't taste like ash and all your clothes and hair didn't stink for days when you got home.

Just insane to me how much of Europe thinks a/c is some wasteful luxury and not a growing safety concern.

Europeans, don't do it for comfort or safety or minimization of heat stroke deaths: do it to prevent giving Noah Smith or Matt Yglesias easy comparisons on European vs American quality of life. They're already dunking on you for not having dryers.

Admittedly this is never going to stop until Europe realizes they can put ice in drinks, an impossible gap for them to close, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - might as well start with AC!