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when someone at my 4th of july barbeque tries to stop me from fitting another firecracker into my ass

Tumblr I need everyone to log in rn because the most important, quotable, instantly iconic celebrity post of the century just dropped

A ship — a magnificent ship — full of gay men. And me.

All computer safety ever for the past 30 odd years: "if you go on the internet — especially if you're under 18 — lie about everything. Lie about your name. Lie about your age. Give as little information away about yourself as you possibly can. Obfuscate, falsify, and omit anything and everything as otherwise They Will Get Your Ass. Actually, avoid it in the first place if you can altogether."