whalien net

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 

His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.

Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 

You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.

“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”

“Want you…”

“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.

“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.

“I want you.”

Truth.

You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.

“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”

If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.

He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.

“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”

“You were drinking.”

“I’m not drunk. I promise.”

Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.

He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.

You haven’t seen him like this in so long.

Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.

He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.

Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.

Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.

“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 

“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.

Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.

His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.

“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”

You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”

Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.

He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 

“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”

You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 

His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 

Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.

This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.

No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.

Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.

“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.

He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.

The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.

He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.

Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.

But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.

“Are you clean?” you ask.

It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.

“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”

He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.

“How long has it been?”

Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 

“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.

For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.

Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”

“Give me a minute.”

“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.

“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.

He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.

His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 

You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.

“You can move,” you say after a while.

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 

“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”

He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.

You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.

No, this is something else entirely.

I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.

“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Did you think about me?”

“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.

“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”

“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.

You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.

He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.

How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.

“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.

“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.

He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.

“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”

Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.

You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”

The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”

“Mean it.”

“I do mean it. I love you.”

Truth.

For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.

Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.

“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.

You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.

But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.

You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.

“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”

Jungkook groans at your answer. 

He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 

He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 

Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.

You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 

When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.

He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.

The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.

Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.

When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.

It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”

You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.

“Anything.”

You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.

“Tell me you can’t live without me.”

He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”

Truth. You know it’s the truth.

Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”

His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”

The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.

But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.

He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 

He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.

It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.

The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.

You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.

“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.

“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”

“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.

He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.

Are you gone forever?

Come back quietly.

“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.

The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.

“What?”

“How old are you?” you repeat.

It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”

"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."

His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.

No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.

“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”

Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.

He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 

You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.

There’s more to it, and you need to know.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.

You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.

A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.

What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.

Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.

He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.

He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.

Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.

When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.

Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?

Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.

It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.

It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.

She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.

“If you love her, you would let her go.”

Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.

He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.

She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.

Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.

The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.

Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.

He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 

She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.

That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.

He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.

July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.

You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.

You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.

“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.

Again with the apologies.

Fuck this.

It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.

You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.

He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?

“Y/N, wait-”

“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”

He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”

You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.

“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

“What?”

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”

Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.

It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.

“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 

He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.

He might bruise in the morning.

You hope he bruises in the morning.

The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.

You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.

But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.

Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.

This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.

The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.

You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?

“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”

You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.

You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.

“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”

It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.

“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...

In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.

“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”

up next...

our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter

You let your hands wander across your quilt, feeling the stitching one last time, memories of your mother’s laughter as she sat by the windowsill threading together the patterned squares. Echoes of a simpler time.

You notice your palms are sweaty despite the coolness of the night and quickly wipe them off on your ragged clothes, pushing off the ground with the utmost stealth. You can’t risk waking anyone.

Your mother looks so calm under the flicker of moonlight seeping through the threadbare curtains. The lines of her face fade and you see the beauty she has always been and forever will be. You hope she can forgive you.

You glance a few steps behind her and see your younger brother, still as night itself, and you wonder if he is truly asleep. You don’t have time to check. He will keep this secret as he has kept all others. You whisper goodbye and hope his heart hears you.

Pressing a gentle kiss into your mother’s disheveled hair, you slip a note into her outstretched hand. She should know why the floor is empty when she awakens. You just hope she reads it before she wanders into the forest looking for you.

You’ll be long gone by then.

The forest looms ahead of you like a crouching dragon, dark and eery in the dead of night.

A chill snakes its way up your spine as you stare down at the vastness. The endless trees hiding terrors you have faced before, the pangs of hunger pushing you to find solace in its desolate depths. What lies beyond the outlines of the forest is beyond your imagination, however, having never set foot outside the grounds of Sector 17.

And if the folktales passed from one campfire to the next are true at all, those terrors are nothing compared to the terrors you will face at The Campaign.

You pull your cape tighter around your shoulders as you remember your mother’s muffled screams that night, her face buried into the topsoil after The City’s men discovered shortages in your harvest yield.

Let her go, you remember yelling with such intensity fire erupted in your lungs. Let her go, let her go, a chant you screamed until it was only noise. It was a frenzy in your mind. Nothing could stop you from tearing them apart, you thought. But you could only claw at their stone face armour before they pinned you down, too.

They threatened to take your younger brother to The Harvest as payment but your mother was crafty, hiding him away in a cellar you helped dig out two years ago.

But it is only a matter of time. They will be back for him soon.

You swore that night, and every night since then, that you will find a way out of this nightmare, even if it takes your last breath.

And The Campaign will do just that.

Like others in town, you have only heard rumours of what happens at The Campaign.

They say beautiful winged creatures roam the grounds and pick off combatants to devour whole. Giants hold you by your throat while the ground turns to lava beneath your feet. And one look into the eyes of a monster turns you to stone.

But these are obviously children’s tales, made up to deter others from joining The Campaign, a battle that promises the greatest riches to the survivor.

But you are not deterred. You need to be that survivor.

To pull your family out of poverty.

To protect your brother from The Harvest.

And to make sure you never have to bow down to The City ever again.

The air feels warmer within the confines of the forest.

A wistfulness falls over you as you look around. Even in the darkness you sense familiarity. These trees were good to you. Hiding you from the creatures. Teaching you how to defend yourself. And forcing you to grow up.

You spot a wild deer peeking from behind a tree. A low, dull whisper draws the deer closer.

Animals have always sensed your gentleness. If only they could sense your violence too.

The deer approaches you hesitantly.

You reach into your pocket, hand grazing the pocket knife gifted from your late grandfather. The sharpest blade, he said, is the most merciful.

When the deer nuzzles your side, you pull your hand from your pocket, revealing browse, consisting of a few stems and leaves you had picked from the ground.

A sound of a branch breaking sends the deer off and you replace the browse with the knife, glancing around the vicinity for any natural predators.

Or worse.

You are in the centre of a clearing and mentally kick yourself for being so exposed. Slinking to the side you survey the area. If anyone is around, they hide well.

Moments pass and when nothing happens you covertly snake your way through the forest. If you can leave the forest line, your journey to The Campaign grounds will begin.

You finally see the edge of the tree line. The very beginnings of light filter through the trees under the glow of twilight.

The last few hours passed quite quickly in complete silence. But you couldn’t help feeling an unmistakeable, lurking presence. Shaking off the feeling you pass through the tree line and look out into the lands beyond the forest.

Stretches of mountains line the horizon. This will be a longer journey than you thought.

You pass a quiet town on your way to The Campaign, taking extra care to avoid any and all eye contact. Only a few homes dot the mountain line and you were able to sneak by them mostly undetected.

You had pilfered a copy of the sectors map a few weeks ago and judging from its coordinates you only need to pass a couple more towns to get to The Campaign. The towns are arranged in a star shaped pattern and The Campaign falls at the northern vertex.

The folktales say The Campaign grounds start at the edge of the castle where the mountains kiss the Emerald Sea, a sea of demons littered with the souls of those stupid enough to traverse it. The map seems to confirm it.

You heard the stories. The sea with sparkling waters so clear you could see into its beautiful depths. But with one touch of the water your skin mottled on the spot, the poison finding its way into your veins and luring you in. Before long, you’re diving into the sea of your own volition, letting the creatures who live within swallow you whole.

Another shiver runs down your spine, but you shake it off. You need to stay alert. One step at a time.

You reach into your satchel for your flask and let your knees fall to the dirt, dipping the metallic container into the murky still waters at your feet, headwater ripe and free from the bright orange strings that plague the river near your house. These waters are safe, you reassure yourself.

Reaching into your satchel again, you dig around for some nourishment and groan when you feel the empty edges. Judging by the increasing drops of greenery along the mountain line, you are certain the sea is not too far now. But you need something to keep your energy up.

Slinking down into the limits of what you believe to be Sector 14, you notice patches of field far more arable than yours. A man stands in the distance, blue fabric hanging off his torso.

“Dania! Give me a—“

The man is interrupted by the cries of a woman. He runs towards the sound and you approach closer, ducking behind a barrel.

“Where are you taking him,” the man’s shouts come through and in the distance you see two heavily armed men in black combat gear dragging a boy barely older than your brother away in handcuffs. “Please! We are working overtime. You will get your grain!”

The City men pay no heed until the man throws himself on them. With a swift connection with the back of their gun, the man falls back.

Your mouth falls open. Your legs start to move towards the men without thinking and you make it a few metres before something tugs at your sleeve. Dazed, you look down to see a little girl, barely five or six.

Her eyes are round and frightened, and then a look much older than her age crosses her face. “They will hurt you,” she whispers.

You’re too bewildered to answer, your eyes darting from her face to the scene in the distance, your heart breaking when you see The City men shove the boy into a large black truck.

You want to run after them but the tug at your sleeve holds you back.

Then shouts come from a different direction.

“Briseis! Briseis!”

The girl gestures at a nearby house and you slowly back away to hide behind the barrel as she walks towards the sound of the voice.

An older woman leaves the nearby house and spots the little girl, running to her. The woman’s hands immediately cup the girl’s face and then pull her in for a hug. “You’re ok? You’re ok.” She holds her close to her chest but the little girl pulls away to look at you.

Slowly bringing your forefinger to your mouth, you pray she does not alert the woman to your presence.

Funny enough, you have made it this far mostly undetected. Now, your safety rests in the hands of a girl barely old enough to speak.

But you trust her. Why else would she stop you from running after The City’s men?

It takes you a moment to realize how reckless it would have been to intervene. Surreptitious travel is necessary. No one beyond Sector 10 has ever left their town limits without The City’s express orders. Those beyond Sector 10 are meant for The Harvest. And certainly not expected to join The Campaign.

How The City will allow you to join The Campaign is a matter for future you. Present you just needs to focus on getting there.

The girl’s eyes are still on you but the woman is oblivious, patting her head and speaking to her. The girl nods at her and lets the woman kiss her once more before turning to leave.

The girl is now walking towards you.

You freeze, staring as she approaches, her head twisting behind her momentarily to watch the woman enter the house.

She is more hesitant as she comes closer.

“Your name?”

Bending down, you smile at the child, hands falling to your knees as you nervously glance at the house again.

“My name is… Y/N,” you say, deciding that the truth is better than a lie. “Thank you for saving me.”

She smiles at this. She reaches into her pocket and takes something out of it.

Stunned, you grasp the piece of bread she holds out to you.

“Here,” she says, a seriousness settling into her dark eyes once again. “They said you will be hungry.”

Before you can say anything else, she interjects. “Go now.”

You watch her walk away, turning towards you for a split second to gesture you to leave. You swallow, sliding the bread into your satchel and running back up the side of the mountain.

You don’t have time to think about what the girl said or who they is. Time is running out; you need to make it to The Campaign grounds before the midday bell rings.

You’re very close to The Campaign judging from the map. Just one town left.

There are two options. You can either climb higher through the mountain or you can take a shortcut through Sector 10. You gaze into the sky and notice the sun inching nearer to the midway point.

Sector 10 it is.

You run down the side of the mountain and immediately see the very outlines of the town.

This town feels strange.

The path from the mountain twists into a road leading through trees, revealing large windowed buildings on the other side with signs aglow with the buzz of hope and electricity. Bright stone walkways open before them and people dressed in neon fabric traverse the streets with practised ease.

The colours are dizzying. The promises they hold, moreso. Places like this exist?

You hear honking and bells ringing. Small rickshaws weave through the bodies and you stare in amazement, having only heard about such motorized vehicles in folktales.

The stink of sweat mixed with a sickly sweetness wafts to your nose and you nearly gag. You pull up your cape around your shoulders and continue forward.

A cart nearly hits a man and a commotion breaks out. You approach the scene, hoping you can cut through the confusion unnoticed. A couple of uniformed men approach the scene at the same moment and you steal behind a large sign to avoid detection.

“What happened here?”

As the two involved argue over the occurrence, you take the opportunity to dash past.

“You there!”

The sound comes loud and clear and you know the uniformed men have spotted you. You slide under another boardwalk sign and bolt into an alleyway.

Sprinting through the dark, urine-stained concrete enclosure you trip over an empty bottle, a sharp sting in your shin nearly toppling you over. But it’s the dead end that stops you.

You scan the area. A ten foot high fence ahead. A dumpster to the left. And bricks to the right.

“Halt, Unauthorized,” they shout in the distance. You can see them pulling out their weapons. You don’t have much time.

You back up a few steps then sprint forward, hitting the edge of the dumpster with all your force. It springs you to the top edge of the barbed fence. Your hands ache under the sharp edges but with one leap you’re on top of the roof.

You glance down and notice the two armed men look from the dumpster to the fence and then to you. There is no way you should have been able to make that jump.

They point their weapons at you but you’re already running, sliding over a roof gable and rushing towards the far edge. They’ll be calling in reinforcements. You need to beat them.

From what you’ve memorized of the map, you can cut across the town area and reach the town’s edge in only a few minutes. You should be safe then - well, as safe as you can be now that The City is alerted to an Unauthorized venturing through town.

As the sun bears down angrily, you can’t help wonder if your mother has read your note by now.

“Can we eat yet, Mother?”

Your mother stirs as your brother’s voice grows louder. Eyes still closed, her fingers wraps around a paper in her grasp.

“I will see, son. Give me one—“

She gazes at the note at her fingertips, her chest seizing as she realizes what you intend to do.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

But it’s too late now. You’re almost at The Campaign.

Dear Mother,

When you awake, I will be gone. Please do not try to find me. I will come back to you both very soon. I promise. And I will bring with me riches greater than any we ever imagined.

Please stay safe. And please forgive me if I fail.

With all the love in my heart,

Y/N

“Get the Unauthorized! There!”

You can hear shouts over your shoulder as you dart from one rooftop to another.

Your foot slips and you slide roughly down a set of connected shingles, landing with a thud in a patch of greasy water, the vile liquid stinging your eyes.

Jumping up, you bound through another alleyway, shoulder brushing against the rocky wall. Your boots slap across the dirty puddled road, your pace almost as quick as your hammering heartbeat. 

You feel for the map, considering whether you could stop for a few seconds to gather your bearings, but you decide to continue running, catching a left at the end of the road. 

You come out into the town’s outer limits and come to an abrupt halt.

In the distance you see dots moving in one direction and you no longer need the map.

Looking to the far left, you see the mountains rise majestically to touch the orange sun now nearing its zenith and you become acutely aware of the impending mid-day bell. The stroke of the end. 

“Catch the Unauthorized!”

Glimpses of the armed men appear over your shoulder and you break into a run. Unfortunately, with your muddy rags and bruised legs, you are not quite as fast as you should be. 

Joints stiff and skin dripping wet, you narrowly avoid colliding into a group of men. The shouts of the armed men behind you grow louder as you skid to a stop before a glimmering blue sea. 

The Emerald Sea. 

A being hovers above the sea dressed all in black. The steely cold eyes catch you staring and a feeling of dread reverberates through your body. 

“There! There!”

As if snapped out of a trance, you twist your head and catch sight of the entry gates.

But these aren’t ordinary gates.

Metal rises out of the ground in a series of spikes like the bars of a jail cell. Beside the gates stands the ruins of a towering castle, glimmers of a beauty that once held all the riches of the world.

But what catches your attention is not the castle nor the gate itself. It’s the line of heavily armed men dressed all in black, their guns at the ready.

You swallow.

Glancing back you choose the rock over the hard place, and this decision propels you forward, your legs pumping as fast as you can go.

But you aren’t fast enough.

A set of rough hands clasp around your shoulders. 

Onlookers stop and crowd around as you struggle against their grasp.

“Stop! I’m here for The Campaign!”

Your words are drowned out in the rumble of the crowd as more onlookers gather around. 

A voice booms behind the crowd and it falls silent.

“Who dares disrupt the peace?”

You continue to struggle in the men’s grasp as the crowd parts down the middle.

A very large man emerges between them. His beard is long and white, his face full and round. He has a cloak of gold and boots of silver.

The armed men start to speak, one letting go to provide the man a warrant for your arrest. “Mayor Danaus, we will take away this Unauthorized and leave your tournament to begin without delay. Here is the warrant.”

Mayor Danaus.

The leader of the City. The one who is responsible for your family’s woes, the one who seeks to bring children of poor families to The Harvest where they will waste away for the benefit of the City. 

Cold seeps deeper into your bones and you stop struggling, instead letting your knees sag as you contemplate what they will now do to you. 

“Enough,” Danaus says, raising one hand in the air. The City men stop speaking. “Rise to your feet, Unauthorized. Why are you here?”

As the hands around your arms loosen, you drop to the ground with a thud. Eyes blinking open, you place one unsteady hand on the wet soil before rising to your feet. 

Your voice squeaks out a lot quieter than you’d hoped as you struggle to push words out through your parched throat. “I.. I am here to join the Campaign.”

When you look up at the large man, a gleam catches your eyes. There is someone behind him that sparkles brighter than all the chaos around you.

You blink again, wondering if you are simply imagining things, a mere hallucination like that hovering lady must have been. 

“Funny child, do you wish to die?”

“I am not a child.” Those words bounce out a lot more easily.

His laugh bellows out unexpectedly and with it, more laughter joins in chorus. It’s raucous.

You wish to put your hands over your ears, but instead you focus on the wet cloth sticking to your skin. It’s much too loud in your head anyways.

“Alright, not a child, I will consider letting you join if you answer one question,” Danaus says, and you look up at him, watching his chubby cheeks peek out from beneath his beard. “What will you do with the prize money if you survive?”

Laughter breaks out once again, as if such an outcome is so unlikely to obviously be some kind of cruel joke. A mere mortal like you could never even hope to survive.

He, however, eyes you very closely. 

Inhaling deeply, you look Danaus in the coal of his irises, defiance budding in your chest.

“I will make sure you and your men can never harm my family again.”

It’s suddenly quiet.

Too quiet.

And then the murmurs start.

Like buzzing bees you can hear words upon words exchanging between mouths as they circle you both.

Insubordination. The City can never let a mere Unauthorized speak to the Mayor with such blatant disregard for his position.

You half expect a slap across your face. 

You most definitely did not expect his smile.

“Regardless of your years, you are indeed still a child. Only a child would speak with such insolence.” He claps his hands and the guards grab you again.

You start to struggle but then he speaks. “Take the Unauthorized to the entry gate. Such misplaced bravery needs an outlet,” he says, rubbing his beard, “and I like a show.”

He breaks off a gold bracelet from his belt and grabs your hand, which you attempt to draw back. He is stronger.

You watch as he slips on the bracelet carefully, his eyes never leaving your face. “Don’t forget why you came here.”

The guard’s eyebrow flicks up momentarily but when Danaus turns on his heel to head to the gate, the guard follows, dragging you to the grounds wordlessly. 

It’s only when you’ve crossed the threshold that you realize the vastness of the Campaign grounds.

And the emptiness.

As if transformed by the gates, the land is suddenly barren, dotted only by a few straggly weeping willows that seemingly erupt from the ground. At the horizon, a forest looms wide and large, partially hidden by an expanse of fog.

The Emerald Sea mercifully only extends along one border with the ruin of a castle sagging at its edge. The rest of the land seems to be caged in by some type of metal.

Are they keeping you in — or something else?

Your mind quickly turns from the grounds themselves to the bodies traversing them.

They look… strong. And healthy.

Of course that’s not unexpected but standing among them, you realize now just how much famine can put you at a disadvantage. And how different a life these competitors must have lived compared to you.

Why do they even compete?

You watch them stride with the confidence you’ve never even dreamed of, clothed in shiny fabric and even shinier smiles.

They do not need the prize money.

“Uh—”

You feel the wind knocked out of you as you fall to the ground, glancing up to catch a cruel sneer.

“Watch where you’re going, filthy creature.”

It’s suddenly dark as a grotesquely large body eclipses the entire mid-day sun. You’re pretty sure giants no longer exist but this man must be a direct descendant.

His sneer breaks into a laugh as he walks away, muttering something under his breath you can’t even repeat to yourself.

You sit up, dusting off your clothes when a brilliant light in the distance catches your eye. That light transforms into a being as he emerges through a parting in the crowd, with skin the colour of honey, all aglow under a tunic that barely covers his torso. A being so beautiful he must have been sculpted with a practised hand. You look away, scared if you stared long enough you might catch fire.

As you stand, others seem to take notice of this sun incarnate and a buzzing ensues, suddenly consuming the grounds. Words float all around you as the man (for what other word could you use to describe him?) approaches.

“… that’s him…”

“Jungkook…”

“…bestowed with super strength by the heavens…”

You take a step back as he cuts the distance between you in half with only a few strides.

“…wait, isn’t he…?”

“That’s the Mayor’s son…?”

“…he is…”

He is Danaus’ son?

You turn away in disgust, arms crossing over your chest as you consider whether the universe really had to unleash the worst of bad luck for you.

The son of Danaus.

The one who has the strength of the world at his fingertips.

The assumed favourite to win any fight.

And he is surely to win this one too. The City will make sure of it.

The mirage you had built in your mind dissipates with this revelation as you expel both hope and breath.

You have no chance of survival.

Perhaps you could better serve your family another way. Surely, you are better alive…

You start walking towards the gates, turning his name over and over in your mind with despair.

Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook.

Danaus’ son.

You wish terrible things strike him down. For why should a man with so much already at his disposal have this opportunity too.

Greed. Men like him live on greed.

You are merely steps from the gate when you hear a boom. Followed by the staccato vibrations of the carillon.

The mid-day bell.

Loud gears screech and you watch as the large metal gates start to close. Bodies emerge in between and suddenly you hear screaming —is it your own?— as you shove them out of the way, a sea of large barriers of flesh to wade through.

A loud speaker crackles, but you don’t turn. Otherwise you would have seen a slender man adjust himself at the helm, his blood red hair glistening as he smiles at your desperation.

You finally make it past the entrants and launch yourself at the small, quickly disappearing partition left between the metal prongs.

“Welcome participants.” A clear and bright voice emits with a sickly sweetness as your face hits the metal gate. “You were free to come. But that is where your freedom ends. If you’re still breathing, that is. Welcome to the Campaign.”

When you told Seokjin you were going alone, he grimaced. Apparently the linked location is nestled behind an abandoned warehouse. Not the safest place.

Be careful, you can almost hear Jungkook say. You know he will scold you for following this tip on your own, like every other time you go off on your own.

But you don’t want to risk Minwoo and Nate tagging along. They’ve been acting really weird lately.

And Kelson has been incommunicado since that day you nearly fell from the cliff behind Central Bank.

He still doesn’t know Park Jimin saved you that day. And you have no intention of telling him.

Spotting the warehouse, you signal the taxi to slow and slip him a twenty.

It’s raining now. You find this out quickly as you step out the vehicle, eyeing the area around you.

It’s noisier than you expected, with food stands littering the road.

Slipping past a couple holding an umbrella, you find yourself at the precipice of the address.

You sneak around the corner, hand hovering over your gun. The sound of men talking throws you off guard. None of them sound like the twinkling voice of Park Jimin.

They are far gruffer. More violent.

You inhale before peering around the corner.

There are three men just beyond the dumpster. None of them fit the description you have in your mind of what Park Jimin likely looks like.

Your shoulders slump a little at this disappointment but you hope the tip hasn’t lead you too far astray. One of them may be Jimin … or they may have some information on where to find him. But you need to find a way to get them to talk first.

You’re much too impatient to seek an arrest warrant for crimes you know they’ve already committed.

Heck, you can spot three Mercedes-Benz hub caps and a shiny new catalytic converter by the bald man’s feet. If you wanted to, you could scrounge together probable cause to bring them in.

But in your five years as a field agent, you have learned one thing. Doing things ‘by the book’ takes far too long. And bureaucratic red tape cost more lives than you can count.

You unhook the safety on your holster and step forward, watching a red haired man spot you and come forward.

“Who are you?”

Fair question, you think. But not one you want to answer truthfully.

“I’m August. Looking for a Park Jimin. I have business with him and my buddy said you knew where to find him.”

His head tilts as he eyes you up and down.

“Business?”

The amused tone of his voice isn’t lost on you.

“Yes. That asshole promised me money and I intend to get it,” you say, rolling your shoulder and cracking your knuckles, “by whatever means necessary.”

The scar on the man’s face twists into an obscene shape as he attempts to smile, although he looks far more like a caricature than a real person.

“Pretty suit. But it’ll need more than a wash if you wanna threaten anybody on our turf.”

“My turf.”

Another man with much darker, long hair speaks, his hand brandishing a blade. He has a shadow of a smile on his face and you stare at him, trying to see if you can place him. Why does he look so familiar?

“Ok, your turf. Wanna tell me where I can find Park? That’ll make it easier for everyone,” you say, and then glance down at your suit momentarily, “and everything involved.”

The dark haired man smiles. It takes a split second for you to realize he is running at you full speed, blade drawn. Your words fall out without warning. “No one ever picks the easy way.”

With a roll of your eyes you rip off your jacket and stand firm, ready for his attack. It comes moments later and you slide to the right, letting his blade pierce air.

You grab his left arm and twist, kneeing him in the ribs. With a yelp he is on the ground.

The red haired man jumps at you and you duck.

The bald man grabs a large crate and hurls it at you. Sliding to the left, you let the crate hit the dark haired man on the ground.

The red haired man tries again and you jump back, kicking him straight in the face.

The bald man grabs you from behind and you jump back, grabbing his arm and twisting away from him. You knee him in the chest and watch him fall to the ground.

With an exhale, you turn around to face them with your pistol in your hand, surveying the crumpled bodies on the ground.

“Ok, now that the formalities are over, how about you tell me what you know about Park?”

Nothing, apparently.

Those hoodlums had no idea whether you were asking about a person or how to park a car.

Just a red herring.

And you’ve locked yourself in your office ever since to figure out anything you can about Park’s whereabouts.

“You’ve been at it all day. Wanna come up for air?”

Jungkook’s leaning against the door, sandwich in hand as he watches you zoom in on a street corner.

You glance back and smile at the dumb look on his face. Seokjin kept his promise. Jungkook has no idea you followed a tip without him.

“Just a few more minutes. I need to figure out which way he went that day behind the bank.”

“Are you really going to go through all that cctv footage. I’m sure Seokjin has a far more efficient—“

“He’s out. Someone took his sandwich and he’s pissed.”

He stares at the sandwich in his hand, gulping hard, and then catches you grinning at him.

“Seriously…? When are you going to stop messing with me,” he asks, rolling his eyes.

You send him a wink before returning your gaze to the screen. “Actually, Jin’s busy helping Yoongi with the Jung case and won’t be able to help me for a few days. A pity, since he’s really the only help I get around here.”

You look at him just in time to catch the kicked puppy look on his face.

You turn away and pinch the bridge of your nose. “This case is driving me nuts. None of the victims want to talk to me, none of the cameras seem to have caught any trace of Park Jimin, and to top it all off, Kelson says I’m stupid for thinking every victim is somehow connected. I mean, I know there is a link there. I can feel it.”

“Since when do you care what Kelson thinks?”

You hum. He’s right, of course. Kelson’s opposition to your various ideas has never stopped you before. But then the words friendly crossfire bring on an uneasiness you can’t explain. You need Kelson onside.

“You remember Park’s warning? I think it’s good to be… careful.”

He nearly spits out his bite. “You’re still thinking about that? I thought we agreed he’s just trying to scare you…” You wonder how he can form those words with his tongue piercing his cheek.

You give him an absentminded nod, realizing you should probably change the subject before he burns a hole in his cheek.

You grab your mug of coffee and take a sip, far too cold by now but you don’t care. “You know what’s weird? Park’s choice of victims all have something big going for them right now. For example, Ahn Heemin. He just won the election for his district, right?”

He just shrugs, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“And then there’s Lee Arin. She won’t answer my calls,” you say, sighing, “but I heard she just got the go ahead to expand her restaurant chain.”

The look on Jungkook’s face tells you you’re losing him.

“You see,” you start, zooming out on your computer and drawing a circle that spreads out within the city limits. “There were far easier and more fruitful targets, but he chose these people,” you continue, setting your cup down and grabbing your binder, the one you always use for your field notes.

Flipping through it, you bring up the page with a list of all the victims. “They’re not even the richest in the city. So why them?”

Jungkook brings his hand to his mouth as he replies between chews, “Maybe these were the easiest targets for him? Didn’t you say he grew up in an orphanage nearby?”

“Kelson said the same the first time I brought this to his attention,” you sigh, putting your face in your hands, “He told me to drop it and focus on finding Park, but I can’t help feeling there’s something else going on.”

“What else could there be… Wait, you don’t mean something going on with Kelson?”

You inhale slowly, and bring up your gaze to meet his. He looks dumbfounded. You sigh, carefully choosing the next few words. “I found out… that Mr. Ahn made a rather large donation to our precinct.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “And?”

“Nothing. I’m not saying anything at all. It just seemed strange… and Kelson was absolutely livid when he found out I was searching Mr. Ahn’s name in our database.”

“But that donation… that could mean anything, right? I mean, he could just be a generous guy?”

You scoff, leaning back in your chair as you stare him down. “Politician and generous don’t usually go together.”

“Don’t tell me you think this is what Park was talking about?”

“I really don’t know… I don’t even know what this means, but I’m going to keep looking into it. I just know it will help me figure out how to track down Park.”

“I’m with you, whatever it is.”

“Thanks man. I just need to make sure Kelson doesn’t notice.”

“Notice what?”

Kelson’s voice booms in the corridor next to your office and within seconds he is rounding the corner. You gulp, shutting your binder while Jungkook leans back in his chair. 

“Uh… how much we drink at Friday night’s gala,” Jungkook replies nonchalantly, and you give him a small smile.

Kelson’s forehead crinkles and his eyes fall on you. “I don’t want you going to the gala, Y/N. Nor you, Jungkook. We need to keep our men to a low number.”

“What—? There’s no way I’m sitting out the gala, sir,” you reply angrily, hands balling up into fists before Jungkook kicks you under your desk. You throw him an angry look before turning back to Kelson, “I have to go to the gala, sir.”

“I need you here, Y/N. That’s my final decision.”

You attempt to stand and confront him but feel Jungkook pull on your shirt. You sit back down as Kelson turns on his heel, leaving your office as quickly as he entered it.

“I’m going,” you whisper and Jungkook nods. “Ms. Lee will be there. Mr. Ahn too. With some wine in them I might be able to ply some information out of them.”

“You really think they’ll talk?”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure they’ll tell me to talk to their lawyer… again,” you say, sighing. “I don’t get it. What are they hiding?”

“Even Mr. Kim? Isn’t he a family friend or something?”

Your head falls onto your folded arms across the table. Barely audible, you reply, “Yeah… After the first few times, he stopped answering my calls. All of them did.” You sigh into your sleeves.

“Well,” Jungkook hums, setting down his sandwich and wiping his mouth. “They’re all really wealthy business people and politicians. They’re always hiding something.”

Raising your head, you bite your lip. You hate to admit it, but he might be right. Maybe they are hiding something. Like Mr. Kim, he should have no reason to feel uncomfortable giving you information. So why is he holding back?

Your mind wanders to Park’s words that night when he held you at knife-point. More and more, you start to wonder if something weird is going on.

“I think you might be on to something,” you reply, reaching for your binder again. “I did think it was strange Park asked them to set a password for the wire transfers, and more than that, the choice of password was so… odd… hmm, let me just pull up his ransom call so you can see what I mean.”

As you click through the folders on your computer, Jungkook shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The sound draws your attention and you look at him, noticing his leg bouncing up and down. His voice startles you.

“You must be tired of that prick’s voice,” he says finally. When he sees your eyebrow quirk up, he clears his throat, “I can hear you listening to his stupid voice all the way from my own office. Ever heard of headphones?” The way his voice raises at the end makes you laugh and he just pouts at you.

Jeon Jungkook is not the most subtle man in your unit. Hell he’s a bit of an open book but that’s a quality you’ve come to admire. You like knowing where you stand with people. 

Staring at his profile, his teeth running over his lip ring, his poorly veiled insult swirling in your head, you can’t help think of the first time you ever heard Park Jimin’s voice.

“Did you have fun ransacking my place? I thought you’d at least take your shoes off first.”

The familiarity with which he says this surprises you more than anything else. He may be mocking you, but there’s something else there.

You had traced this unnamed culprit to a run down apartment building down by the west side of town, an apartment under an obvious alias littered with undone laundry and half eaten pizza. And a few childhood photos. Luckily, you found a somewhat unsteady (and definitely inebriated) man who happened to know the identity of the man living in that apartment: Park Jimin. 

Officers are still surveilling his home, ready to alert you if he steps one foot inside the place. But you have received zero alerts on your phone… so how does he already know you searched his place?

“Park Jimin?”

It’s your voice. It’s you. 

Perfect.

“So you know my name. Wanna tell me yours, beautiful?”

The word “beautiful” catches you off guard but you try not to show it, glancing to the right to see if Seokjin has traced the call yet. He shakes his head and you swallow, pressing the receiver closer to your ear. Biting back the angry retort that reaches your throat, you take a breath and reply as calmly as you can.

“Agent Y/L/N. And, Mr. Park, I can promise if you turn yourself in along with that diamond necklace we can arrange for a lighter sentence tha—“

“Are you saying you want to cut a deal with me?”

You stop mid sentence and look over at Seokjin, who grins, his hand rising to show you an ok signal. They have his location. With a flick of your wrist, your counterparts are on their feet, rushing to the door on their way to Park Jimin.

You just need to keep him on the phone long enough for them to reach him.

“Yes, I would like to do that, Mr. Park. Tell me wha—“

“Good to know. I hope you have the same mindset in the future. Until next time, Agent.”

When the officers make it to the source of the call, the building is vacant, an old abandoned warehouse with a single phone and a note taped to the receiver: “Better luck next time.”

You clear your throat and turn your attention back to Jungkook, noticing him adjusting his sleeves, rolling them up just enough to catch the outlines of his tattoos. When did he get the snake tattoo? 

He catches you staring and smiles. Actually, it looks more like a grin. You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling yourself before you clear your throat again.

“In Park’s call to Ms. Lee,” you start but are promptly interrupted by Kelson’s assistant.

“Sorry, it’ll just be a minute,” she whispers, and then points at Jungkook, making a “come here” motion with her finger with a smile. Jungkook looks puzzled, vaguely gesturing to himself. She nods and smiles when he slowly rises to his feet.

“Is it Kelson? Does he—“

She grabs his wrist and laughs, whispering something in his ear. At that moment your phone dings, and instead of being annoyed by the interruption, your focus shifts to the message blinking on your phone.

[unknown 3:41] you won’t get anywhere at your desk

Huh? Who would message that?

You look up and see your door slightly ajar. If it’s a practical joke, they’re not doing a very good job.

Maybe it’s a wrong number.

[You 3:42] Who is this?

You’re not one to rely on maybes.

But it dings again.

[unknown 3:43] kelson’s office has what you need. find the red folder

You peer out your door and it’s clear. All you see is Jungkook sitting at his desk with Kelson’s assistant sitting on top of it, playing with his shirt collar. They seem a lot closer than you had thought. Funny, you’ve never really seen them interact much before.

[unknown 3:44] this is the last time. you need to know

Your heart is beating fast. It feels like it might take off.

[You 3:44] Park Jimin?

You stare at the screen, waiting for his message. Or hers. Whoever is on the other end. Seconds turn to minutes and you realize he’s not going to respond.

Seokjin should be able to trace the number quickly enough, no matter how busy he is. You leave your office, glancing once again in Jungkook’s direction. When Jungkook catches you, he straightens up and pushes Nia’s hand from his chest. 

“Ah, I’ll be there in a minute, Y/N.”

“Don’t worry about it, I need to talk to Seokjin anyway.”

After leaving your phone with Seokjin you return, only to see Jungkook sitting in your office. He’s playing with the ring on his right hand. When you walk in, he stands up.

“Sorry about earlier, I don’t know—“

You wave your hand dismissively. “I’ve been meaning to pay Kim Taehyung a visit. Wanna join me, Jeon?”

Something doesn’t sit right with you. And one thing you’ve come to learn over the last few years - your instincts are never wrong.

“What are you plan—“ Before he can finish his sentence, you’re already on your phone, the sound of Taehyung’s voice coming through on the other end. 

“Perfect. I’ll be over in a few minutes, Tae.”

To Jungkook’s chagrin, you two were now on your way to Jungkook’s second least favourite person’s house.

“I thought you were ignoring me, Y/N. You haven’t been answering any of my texts or calls. You looked so shaken up that day…”

Taehyung reaches for your shoulder but retracts his hand after he notices you flinch slightly. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“I’m fine, Tae,” you quickly reply, “Don’t worry about me. Actually, I just wanted to see how you and your family are doing since the robbery.”

Taehyung bends a little so he’s eye level, giving you his signature smile that does little to put you at ease. He then peers around you, meeting the gaze of the man hovering behind you.

Jungkook gives him a little wave before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“And him?”

You glance at Jungkook and then back at Taehyung. “Um, you know Jungkook, my partner…” When Taehyung raises his brow you clear your throat, adding, “Work partner… we work on a lot of cases together.”

“Hmm, I remember. So this is an official visit?”

“I want to talk to your dad. Is he in?”

“Actually,” Taehyung replies, scratching the back of his neck, “he’s in the back meeting with a business associate I think. He shouldn’t be too long though.”

“Good.”

He leads you inside his spacious home, Monets and Basquiats interspersed between a mix of minimalist columns and giant windows. To say his family is rich would be an understatement.

After exchanging pleasantries with Taehyung and his mom, you excuse yourself to use the washroom. 

You and Jungkook planned it all out in the car. You just need a few minutes alone in Mr. Kim’s study. And thanks to the years you spent in the Kims’ home as a side effect of your parents’ close friendship with them, you knew exactly where everything was, all the way down to the snug bookcase turned secret corridor where you used to hide whenever your parents had too much to drink and forgot to take you home.

It’s funny how much Taehyung used to terrify you growing up. He was the typical intimidating, rich guy who didn’t seem to want much to do with you. But ever since he came back from his overseas studies, he seems like a new person. Someone much kinder.

You listen for the start of Jungkook’s exaggerated retelling of his first ever arrest and know he should be able to distract Taehyung and his mom just long enough for you to take a quick look around.

While you’re not proud of searching without a warrant, you can’t bring yourself to put Mr. Kim through such a potentially embarrassing ordeal. He’s a kind man and you know he won’t mind if you verify that he doesn’t know more about Park than he’s letting on. If you can find anything that relates to the weird password, that much the better.

Taking a left at the end of the hallway instead of the right, you reach Mr Kim’s study. It’s unlocked as usual.

Sneaking in, you feel a cool breeze hit you. You pull your hair into a bun and start with the desk. 

Drat, the drawer is locked.

You feel across some of the ridges underneath, hopeful he, like many others, stores his key beneath a sliver of tape on the underside of the desk. As you reach below, the sound of a familiar voice catches you off guard.

“I appreciate your patience, Sangwoo. You see…”

You pause your ministrations, holding your breath when you recognize the voice. 

“… we’re pretty close to nailing him down. No need to worry about—“

“I trusted you to keep him in check, Rick, but I just got another one of those notes. If you can’t handle it I will need to get someone else.”

You recognize the two voices. The first belongs to Kelson. The second to Mr. Kim.

“Sangwoo, please understand. This is a sticky situation for us both. It wouldn’t be helpful for either of us…” Kelson pauses, and you hear some shuffling before he continues in a hushed tone, “to let any of this get out. It won’t be very pleasant either.”

Another scraping sound before you hear Mr. Kim’s booming voice reverberate across the walls. “You… you are not threatening me, are you? Ha,” he scoffs, and the next words send a chill down your spine. “Unpleasant? I see you haven’t been able to make things unpleasant enough. Maybe I’ll do it myself.”

You hear his words echo against your skull. What did he mean by that?

“I do have it under control, Sangwoo. She won’t be in the picture for much longer.”

From the corner of your eye, you notice a flutter at the door but the thought slips away just as quickly as it came while you desperately strain to hear the rest of the conversation. 

“We need your cooperation to get—“

You press your ear further against the paper thin wall but soon your vision is clouded by a pair of dark brown trousers.

Caught, you slowly follow the lean line up and nearly flinch when you catch the stern, frowning face of Kim Taehyung, the same intimidating, icy glare you recognize from so many years ago.

“What do you think you’re doing, Y/N?”

You’re zipping up your bag when Namjoon walks into your office, your run-in with Taehyung still buzzing in your head. You need to make sure he doesn’t tell his father about your snooping - and you’re hoping you gave him enough incentive.

“Kelson rejected your search request.”

You look up with a frown.

“Really?”

He nods. “Not enough grounds to search their bank records officially. Sorry,” he says, pushing up his glasses to get a better look at you.

You shrug. It was a long shot anyway.

“Is Seokjin done for the day?”

Namjoon hums, a tiny grin on his lips. “It depends on what you mean by “done”.

When you quirk a brow he laughs. “Never mind, I’m going to head out before Kelson finds something else for me to do.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Has he not left for the day yet?” You were hoping to take a shot at that phantom red folder, assuming it exists.

“Nope. I think he might be in there all night tracking something he won’t tell me about. Every time I try to enter, he just barks at me.”

He grins but you’re too irritated, only managing a half smile.

When he leaves your office, you sigh and check your phone. Seokjin didn’t have any luck tracing the mysterious texts unfortunately.

Jungkook’s text blinks angrily at you.

[Jungkook 7:13] You better show up. I WILL watch this episode without you. Not kidding this time

You can’t help but smile. He’s been trying to cheer you up ever since that day behind the bank.

Now that you think about it, you don’t know how Jungkook figured out you needed cheering up. On the outside, you look perfectly fine. You made sure of it.

But inside, something about that moment triggered something within you that you can’t quite pinpoint.

“Hey, Y/N, I almost forgot...”

You look up to see Namjoon peering into your office, his deep dimple popping as he smiles at you sheepishly.

“I hope you don’t feel down about Kelson re-assigning you to the Jung case. I know you’ve worked so hard on the Park case but they can really use you with Jung—“

“What?”

Namjoon looks puzzled.

“Kelson is re-assigning the Park case to Nate…” When your jaw drops, he scratches his head. “Did he really not talk to you about this?”

You shake your head slowly.

“I’m sure he will tomorrow. I meant to come by earlier to take the file from you but I’ve been busy with these stupid admin things. Oh, like this anonymous tip I got. They’re saying there’s some kind of contraband at this abandoned warehouse.”

You’re only half listening to Namjoon as you try to calm yourself, knowing you are this close to bursting into Kelson’s office to smack him. Then your brain catches on one of Namjoon’s words.

“… something about it being an inside job and the words friendly fire. It’s just the most bizarre thing. I wanted to chuck it but Kelson specifically asked for all—“

“What did you say? What about friendly fire?”

Namjoon scratches his head again. “The tip asks us to check this abandoned warehouse because they believe an underground ring infiltrated the agency or something. They say we should be prepared for friendly fire. Honestly, it seems like someone off their—”

You remember your exchange with Jimin that day at the museum.

“You’re not… Are you suggesting friendly fire?”

“Oh, there’s nothing friendly about it. You’ve caught onto something, something much bigger than me. And I don’t think even you realize it. But Agent Kelson does. And so do your higher ups.”

Namjoon stares at you as the gears turn in your head. It’s a long shot but it’s better than nothing.

You slip your bag over your shoulder and face Namjoon, who is still leaning against your door. “Ok, Joon. Where is the warehouse?”

To your amazement, the coordinates match up with those the anonymous tipster gave you this morning, the ones you thought were meant to send you on a wild goose chase.

But this goose has laid eggs.

“Just give me one hour,” you whisper into your phone as Namjoon groans on the other end. “Let me and Jungkook check it out first, ok?”

He grudgingly agrees, mostly because he would rather go home than face any more barking from Kelson.

Jungkook is pulling on a hoodie as you glance down at the one you’re wearing. Your outfits look nothing like the coveralls the men inside the warehouse are wearing but they will have to do.

“I better get ice cream after this,” Jungkook whispers, pulling the zipper up.

“Anything you want. Just shush.”

“Did you just shush m—“

You put your finger over his lip as you gesture towards the warehouse’s back door.

The area is brightly lit for an abandoned warehouse. Something you didn’t notice this morning.

Truthfully, you expected at least the appearance of neglect but if anything, the road must have been cleared within the last week and the red dots neatly lining up at each entrance indicate a well-tended and highly protected area.

You walk up closer then stop abruptly.

“Ugh, sor—“

Jungkook bumps into you when you stop short but your hand immediately comes up to block the rest of his apology. You sense movement.

You nod towards the far entrance and Jungkook gets the message.

You two double back and out of view. A large man emerges, directing a truck towards the far loading dock door.

A flood light flashes on as the truck enters its proximity. Two more trucks follow it.

You share a wordless look with Jungkook and he seems to understand.

You’ll need to enter along with the next truck.

Slinking along the perimeter, you quickly reach the far end of the warehouse. You watch as another larger truck appears. Now is your chance.

But a flood light flashes on and you two jump back against the fence. A shout erupts from the other side of the truck and you pull Jungkook into you. Hard. His body lands on yours with full force as you two hit the fence. “Y/N, what are yo—“

Grabbing his hoodie collar, his eyes widen as he realizes what you’re about to do. Your lips land on his and your hands tighten as Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut. Any shock melts from his body as he leans into you, his hands cupping your face now.

Your eyes are squinting at this point and when you notice the man walk away with a disgusted expression, you let Jungkook’s collar go.

He’s still kissing you, though.

Politely, you tap on his chest and his eyes snap open, a shy smile on his face as he pulls away. Wiping the corner of lip, he asks quietly, “Did you really think kissing me would help us blend in?”

You bite your lip, gazing over his shoulder.

“I think that’s the last truck. We need to go. Now.”

With another nod, you both rush towards the blindspot of the vehicle and pass in simultaneously.

Inside, you both back into the shadows, noticing the lack of lighting at the edges of the warehouse. There is a very clear focal point.

At the centre of the warehouse, men load large crates onto the trucks that enter. Those must contain the contraband the tip was referring to.

Jungkook points towards the truck near the front. It looks like it has been filled and awaiting final inspection.

Then you spot a bin with coveralls matching those the men are wearing. Jungkook has already noticed it and he is sneaking towards it with the utmost stealth. Within 30 seconds, he is back with two sets.

Slipping into them, you two appear far less conspicuous.

As casually as two undercover agents can manage in the middle of a brightly lit warehouse, you two start strolling towards the truck.

A man nearby glances towards you and you simply nod, pulling your hat lower down. He looks away.

Inhaling relief, you keep walking. Jungkook is following in step.

As you reach the truck, you pull off the cover.

Wow.

There is enough artillery in here to stage a revolt of some sort. But shockwaves reverberate through your body when you pick up one of the pistols.

It’s government issue. And you recognize the bar code prefix.

This is from your unit.

“Look at this, Jungkook,” you whisper, still surveying the pistols.

When you get no response, you whisper a bit louder, glancing over your shoulder.

But his response is much, much louder.

“I’m a little busy here.”

When you turn towards his voice, you see he is indeed busy, having been surrounded by several armed men. All of whom have their guns drawn and faces covered.

Shit.

The blinds are now being drawn and on any other day you would have stayed, delighted with the possibility of finally making their acquaintance. However on this day, you are not in much of a mood to pretend you are something you’re not. 

Slinking indoors, you decide to make yourself some warm tea to console yourself. It has only been a few days but Jimin’s absence is felt so strongly you wonder what would happen if he never speaks to you again. That is why you’ve been feeling so blue lately. There is no other reason that comes to mind to explain the gaping hole in your chest. 

Your kitchen light flicks on and you reach into the cupboard, grabbing the first mug that comes to hand.

And then freeze.

The familiar inscription brings a strange feeling to the pit of your stomach. And a memory you thought you had long forgotten. 

“My whole heart?” You giggle, tracing the inscription across the mug with your fingertip. Slowly looking up at him, you smile, “I never pictured you as the cheesy type, Yoongi.” 

A lopsided grin is his initial response, but then he kicks a nonexistent rock on your carpet, avoiding your gaze while he whispers under his breath, “Well, I couldn’t put ‘sex kitten’, could I?”

You snort, replying, “Because that would be you, silly.” 

At that, he pounces on you, grabbing your hand in his and biting your lip. “Naughty thing,” he growls.

“What? Are you going to prove it now?” You are breathing shallow, mesmerized by the mischief sparkling in his eyes.

Shallower still when he catches your chin between his thumb and index finger. “Oh, I will get to that, but there is so much I want to do to you first.” 

You try to push him away giggling so much you can hardly breathe as he plants kisses all over your face. “Enough, enough! I surrender,” you say finally, hands in the air as he sits back on the couch, surveying you with delight. 

“I love you.”

Those three words hung in the air and at first you didn’t know who said them. But by the look on his face, it becomes painfully clear. 

You did.

It was as if he just saw a ghost. He grew as pale as the wall behind him and to ease whatever strange discomfort arose you try to laugh it off. A couch cushion is thrown in his direction and soon it was as if nothing had happened. 

The sound of knocking on your door rouses you from your daydream. 

It takes a few seconds to register what is happening as you stare at the mug in your hands.

“Coming!” You throw in their direction as you walk over to the trash can, letting the mug hover over the bin. Sighing, you quickly place it back in the cupboard before yelling out, “I’m coming!”

Wiping your hands, you press up against the door. 

Odd. You don’t see anyone through the peephole. 

Slowly opening the door, you check. The coast is clear. 

Closing the door behind you, your back hits the solid wood with a thud. Things like this have been happening a lot lately. This isn’t the first time you’ve heard knocking at your door without any visitors. And just last night, you could have sworn you heard your name being called out.

Shaking your head, you suddenly realize you will be late for work and start getting ready. 

You’re mindlessly inputting inventory when your phone lights up. The sound of the storm outside must have drowned out the ding but there is a new notification. A message, surely.

You know you shouldn’t have your phone on the shop counter (it’s against store policy or whatever) but you can’t help it. You have a pretty good hunch one of these days (any moment now!) Jimin will come to his senses and call you back.

Or at least send a text.

Maybe a noncommittal ‘hey’.

Any acknowledgment would be nice, really. Anything to show he is close to forgiving you for scaring the life out of him during your drunken blackout.

You haven’t even told him that Yoongi brought you home that night… not that he gave you a chance. A ‘You ok?’ ‘Yes’ and he hung up. Just like that. And radio silence ever since.

“Are you trying to telekinetically vaporize your phone or something?” Taeyeon’s voice drifts into your consciousness. You didn’t even notice her enter from the backroom.

You give her a small smile and grab your phone, noting the junk email notification before quickly slipping it into your pocket while she comes around the corner to inspect your work.

“Finished with the inventory check yet?”

“Not yet.”

The storm grows louder and you catch a flash of lightening outside.

You can feel Taeyeon peering over your shoulder, a small click of her tongue punctuating some thought you can almost hear as her brows furrow. She then inhales slowly, her words coming out even slower, as if she’s measuring them carefully. “Are you feeling ok?”

You glance back at her with a puzzled expression, “Yes?” There is a searching look in her eyes. You know that look. Your mother used to give you that look every time you said you were fine when you really weren’t.

“Ok, I’ll take your word for it,” she replies, hands falling to her hips, “but you need to get your act together. This isn’t like you.” You follow her finger to the screen and notice a ‘daffy duck’ where ‘daffodils’ ought to be. Face heating up, you correct the mistake and chirp out a “sorry” as she clicks her tongue again.

“Business has been good lately, but we need to draw in more high end customers.” When your blank expression doesn’t change, she pulls out her phone, pointing to some article in Forbes magazine. “We need those rich heiresses who’ll spend a grand on a few special centrepieces. Or their gold digger husbands.”

You bite your lip. The business side of things has always felt a little bit daunting. But you are determined to do well… if nothing else, simply to prove to yourself you can do it. You nod and she gives you a small smile. Then her face lights up. “Ah, I almost forgot, the company is throwing a…” Taeyeon’s voice fades out as the front door chimes.

With a quick clear of your throat, you glance towards the front door. “Welcome to Stay Gold Marigolds,” you sing out in your best customer service voice. The one that’s a bit too high, an iteration that still needs a bit of work admittedly.

A yellow umbrella folds up and out from behind it appears a rain-soaked but unmistakably luminous face.

He looks up and smiles.

You recognize that face.

“… scary pregnant friend!” You’re now pointing at him with a smile. When you notice your hand, you quickly bring it down.

He nods, grinning back.

“That’s my alias,” he replies, casually glancing at Taeyeon with a polite smile. “But most people just call me Seokjin.” He’s fixing his tie with one hand as the now folded umbrella dangles languidly from his other. Even slightly drenched, he looks immaculate. The universe really has favourites.

Then you realize you just called him “scary pregnant friend”.

Oops.

“Ah, of course,” you reply, grimacing slightly. “Seokjin. Always happy to see a returning customer.”

Something flashes across his face, but you’re too busy fending yourself from Taeyeon’s elbow to notice.

“Um, Seokjin. This is Taeyeon, the store manager.”

She sends him a dazzling smile before straightening her blouse. Seokjin glances at you momentarily before approaching with a rather quick pace, extending his hand out to Taeyeon. Taeyeon’s mouth opens slightly but Seokjin doesn’t seem to notice as his attention immediately fixes back onto you.

“I’m glad you’re working today, Y/N,” he comments, hand leaving Taeyeon’s to rest on the shop counter. “I owe you my life.”

“Your life…?” You can feel Taeyeon’s eyes burning a hole in the side of your head. “For what?”

“For getting me out of trouble. My scary pregnant friend,” he pauses, his unexpected wink earning a knowing smile from you, “loved the flowers. She wants another bouquet for her birthday.” He glances down and adds, “and this tremendous umbrella, thank you for saving me from the downpour.”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome.” Your reply comes out a bit stilted as Taeyeon catches your eye, her smile seemingly plastered on as her eyes dart between yours and Seokjin’s. You respond with a slight tilt of your head as if to ask ‘what is it?’ You’re clearly lost.

Frustrated, she clears her throat. “You know, we have quite a selection of other arrangements. Perhaps you… or your wife… would—“

Seokjin’s eyes widen at Taeyeon’s insinuation. “Oh, I’m not married—“

You watch him scramble to switch the umbrella to his right hand and if it weren’t for the shrill sound of a phone cutting him off you’re sure he would have shown you his empty fourth finger. Confusion spreads across Taeyeon’s face before she realizes it’s her office phone. As she runs off, you smile at Seokjin.

“Ok, so no funeral, then?”

Seokjin laughs, and with a little prompting he starts telling you about his face off with the scary pregnant friend. Before long you’re giggling at his dramatic retelling, amused by how believably he re-enacts the scene for you. He even does her pregnant waddle, and smiles extra big when you laugh so hard a snort escapes. You’re positively red but he finds it endearing.

You laugh freely, he thinks, a trait he doesn’t see as often as he likes.

But then your focus shifts. Not that he notices, though. Not yet at least.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, a soft ding drawing only your attention.

It would be rude to look at your phone now, you think to yourself as you bite your nail, eyes still locked on Seokjin but mind now on your phone.

The possibility that Jimin—

No, he definitely hasn’t texted you back.

But then again, you did send him a special something in the hopes of guilting him into forgiving you.

It wouldn’t have gotten there yet, though… would it?

Wait, Seokjin is still talking.

You clear your throat and smile, trying your best to look interested in whatever Seokjin is saying. But suddenly it’s silent and it looks like he might have asked you a question.

“What do you think?”

He did. He asked you a question.

Shit.

You inhale, considering your options: You could fess up; or take a stab at an answer.

Swallowing your pride, you decide to come clean about zoning out for a few seconds.

But those aren’t the words that fall out.

“Sounds good,” you choke out, clearing your throat again.

Stupid.

Stupid stupid stupid. Why would you say that? What did he even ask?

It must have been a good response because he is positively radiating with happiness. His smile is so big it’s infectious and soon you’re smiling too. But you have no idea why.

“It’s only a few minutes walk from here, actually,” he continues, but the sparkle in his eye slowly fades as yours does.

“Walk…to?” You’re biting your lip now. 

His eyes narrow and you know he’s caught you redhanded. But then he chuckles, responding with a sweetness you didn’t expect.

“Well, I was just… I mean if you have time, maybe you could join me at my coffee shop,” he starts, and you notice the tips of his ears turning red. When the expression on your face starts to shift, he quickly adds, “I need to completely revamp it. I would love if you could drop by to help me choose decorations.”

Taeyeon enters at this last part and excitedly starts pushing you towards the door before you can even reply. “Of course, she would. Go on, Y/N. Help him choose.” And then she whispers, only for your ears, “This is it. Go get ‘em”

Seokjin wasn’t lying about the distance. It really was but 5 minutes from your flower shop. And the rain had let up thankfully. 

However, the small cozy coffee shop you were expecting isn’t at all how he described it. 

It’s not a tiny, out of the way place. It’s a beautiful place attached to an even more beautiful restaurant. 

He opens the glass door and you put one hesitant step in front of the other, taking in the marble tiles and spacious set up, with exquisitely decorated tables and a front desk with a glorious bouquet.

You catch Seokjin waving behind you and when you look ahead, the hostess quickly pulls the bouquet down. You can’t help the quirk of your lip at this gesture. 

His hand at the small of your back gently ushers you towards a table at the glass corner outlooking the park outside. Gesturing to the seat, you sit down and look up at him with orbs for eyes. 

This can’t be his. Maybe he is renting the coffee shop from the owner of the restaurant?

“So, this place needs a remodel. Have a look around and let me know your thoughts. I’m just going to get us a coffee, hmm?” You nod and get up to survey the area. 

A hostess walks towards you with a very broad smile. “You must be Mr. Kim’s girlfriend,” she immediately says as she comes within earshot. “Nice to meet you! I’m Anya.”

You gasp, quickly shaking your head. “No, no, I’m just here to help him with decorating. I work at the flower shop nearby.”

She looks at you closely, finger coming up to her cheek. “I’ve never seen Mr. Kim look at anyone the way he looks at you. He is clearly smitten.”

That is ludicrous, you think to yourself.

But her tone doesn’t give even a hint of sarcasm. She sounds dead serious.

“And if I were you,” she continues, “I would make a move. He is quite the catch.”

You smile politely. “I’m sure he is. A very handsome man with a … coffee shop like this. I’m sure whoever his girlfriend is, she is very lucky.”

Anya laughs. “He owns the whole restaurant chain, coffee shop and all. His mother passed down the ownership last year and he has been doing wonders to make the name even more well known than ever.”

Her eyes sparkle as she continues to tell you more and more about Seokjin, and you notice Seokjin speaking with a waiter over her shoulder. He turns slightly and catches your eye, giving you a sweet smile. 

“So many people come to this location to see him. I mean, look at him. Even I took this job to have the chance of meeting him, thinking maybe he might fall… oh, I sound delusional.” She laughs again. 

There’s no way someone like him is interested in me, you think to yourself. 

“He is so focused on work like it is the only thing that matters in the world. So I was surprised to see him looking at you like—“

Lips pulling into a straight line, you decide you’ve heard enough. “I’m sorry, I really think I should take a look around now. Thank you, though!”

She nods but you don’t wait for another word as you turn away to look at the rest of the place. You run your fingertips across the sparkling glass countertops. He really doesn’t need a remodel. It already looks so perfect. 

“Any ideas, yet?”

Seokjin’s voice startles you. He then extends a mug towards you as he takes a sip of his.

“Ah, I’ll need to mull it over, but I’m thinking we could add some more bold pieces. Most of your decorations and flower pieces are quite understated, but I think you need something louder, something that stands out…”

The more you say, the more his smile grows. He doesn’t say anything though, and just keeps smiling at you. When you finish, you look at him, expecting a response. But his sunny silence remains.

“And you have quite a few windows, Seokjin, but I think you could use some more lighting by this corner here.” You walk over to the edge that is blocked by the counter. 

His smile turns lopsided, and you come up to him with your hands on your hips. “Are you not going to say anything?”

“It’s just that… when you stood in that dark corner, it lit up immediately. I think all I need is you… for this place to brighten up.”

Your jaw drops. “Mr. Kim Seokjin, are you flirting with me?”

“Depends. Did you like it?”

“Seokjin!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

If you didn’t know better, you would think he was about to kiss you with that look in his eye. Your heart is suddenly beating really hard as you try to avoid Seokjin’s rather intense gaze. 

“Right. Well, the lighting is not our department. Just a friendly suggestion,” you reply, clearing your throat. You can feel his gaze follow you as you walk towards the centre aisle. 

“For the flowers, I think we can arrange some samples for you. Maybe some lovely arrangements of peonies, carnations and crown imperials in vibrant colours? Or even a colourful mixture of rumex, parrot-beak and larkspur…” Your finger comes to your chin as you consider the options. 

“You’re amazing, Y/N,” Seokjin says, hand lightly touching your arm to get your attention. He’s still smiling. “I was wondering if maybe you…” When you look up at him, there is a look in his eyes that has you swallowing hard. “Maybe you…”

“Mr. Kim, your twelve o’clock has arrived.”

The moment breaks and Seokjin excuses himself with the most apologetic look on his face. 

When he returns, you’re done with taking measurements and pictures. 

“I have all I need, Seokjin. So unless there’s anything else, I should get going.”

“Let me walk you.”

“It’s pouring!” You’re holding your hand out, watching the splashes on the palm of your hand. 

Seokjin opens up the umbrella in an instant and steps out onto the sidewalk. “Your umbrella is going to save us again,” he shouts over the storm. He slowly steps back in towards you and holds out his hand. “Join me,” he asks with a twinkle in his eyes. 

You put your hand in his, and suddenly he starts running, pulling you closer to him. You’re both dashing towards your flower shop, gliding out of the way of an older couple with an even bigger umbrella, and you both laugh with childish glee as you look at each other, relishing the angry curses they throw your way. 

You’re nearly out of breath when you reach your shop. He looks at you with a glow.

The umbrella has not saved either of you as drops glisten on his sparkling skin, his dark strands damp. And the left side of his beautiful Italian suit is soaked through.

He looks at you and notices similar twinkling droplets on your flushed cheek, and gently wipes them away, eyes shifting up to meet yours. With a furrowed brow, he moves a few wet strands from your eyes. “Probably should have brought you in the car, huh?”

“What? No way,” you exclaim, finally catching your breath. “This was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” You look up into his eyes and see a sparkle you recognize as his pretty, full lips pull into an even bigger smile. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. I used to love running in the rain back in my hometown. This brought back so many memories.” You shake your head when an old memory tries to resurface. Not now, you think to yourself. You don’t want to be reminded of an old flame when soothing water stands right before you. 

“Then, can I ask if maybe you would—“

Before Seokjin can finish his question, his attention shifts past you, followed by a quick apology on his lips for being in the doorway for so long. He slowly pulls you aside and you meet a set of brown eyes as they walk past you. 

Yoongi’s eyes shift from yours to Seokjin’s and back to yours again and you see something flicker in them momentarily before he’s walking away from you. 

“Hey, isn’t that Min Yoongi?” Seokjin asks, astounded by the sudden run in. But you’re not really paying attention, a slow nod being your only response. Why was he in your flower shop?

Seokjin is oblivious, of course. When you look at him, he still has his sunny smile as if nothing has happened. 

You give him a slightly dimmer smile in return.

Taeyeon’s head pops out the front door as she starts to call out, but then she notices you and Seokjin. “Hey, you two. Come in, will you? You’ll get…even more drenched than you are.”

Inside, your mind is still on Yoongi when Taeyeon drops another piece of news. 

“We’re going to a charity ball next Friday, Y/N. So let me know if you need a shopping buddy? I need a dress myself.”

“A charity ball next Friday! It’s not the one at the Palisades, is it?” Seokjin asks excitedly.

“It is,” Taeyeon replies, “Are you going, too?”

“I am, but I don’t have a date unfortunately.” At this, he glances at you but you’re still lost in thought. 

Taeyeon picks up on it, though. 

“Y/N doesn’t have a date either! Why don’t you two go together?”

Seokjin turns to you for your answer, but you’re not paying any attention to him.

He watches as you fish out your now ringing phone from your pocket and notices how your face lights up tenfold. From this angle, he can make out a big ‘JIMINIE’ splashed across your phone screen.

If you had been paying any attention to him, you would have noticed his shoulders slump a little and the corner of his mouth falter a degree before he sits back up, smiling pleasantly while you excuse yourself to take the call.

What you mean is, Yoongi's career is taking off.

You don't want to sound like a bitter ex, but you don't particularly enjoy reading his name on news articles, hearing his music come on the radio, watching his face start to appear on fashion magazines more frequently.

You're happy for him, you truly are. You just resent the reminder that this is what he chose over you.

What he left you behind for.

Okay, that might be a little unfair.

You know that it was a decision that you both agreed to in the end, but every time you're intoxicated, you can't help the thought.

You left me.

You left me.

You left me.

Flagging down the bartender, you ask for a refill. He complies, though he still shoots you an unsubtle look when he goes to pour more rosé into your shot glass.

The shot glass makes it fun, and makes you forget that you really don't like the taste of wine of any kind.

But Yoongi does.

You're sitting in Yoongi's favorite bar, drinking an alcohol that Yoongi likes but you can barely tolerate, while he's out there somewhere singing at yet another sold out venue. After the gig is finished, he'll probably have a companion for the night too.

He doesn't know that you miss him. You miss him so much that it feels like you've forgotten how to breathe. Just the mere thought of him is enough to bring tears to your eyes.

It's been three months since you last saw him, since he packed up his things and moved out of your shared apartment. He told you that it was for the best, and you believed him. You still do, because Yoongi was always the logical one.

You couldn't follow him on tour, and he convinced you that it was better to end things on your own terms than to let the inevitable distance end it for you. He was probably right, but that doesn't mean that you haven't been going through hell since he made his swift exit.

Maybe you were stupid, or unlucky, or a disastrous combination of both. You knew that this was his dream for as long as he could remember. He worked his ass off his entire life to get where he is now, to have all of the things that he has accomplished along the way. You knew it. You were even his biggest supporter during the two years that you were together, rooting for him at every turn, holding him up whenever he wanted to fall down.

Yes, it was what he wanted ever since he laid eyes on a guitar for the first time. It was his dream before he met you, and it will still be his dream long after you. Even though he loved you, this would always be his destination. You both realized this when it was already too late.

You down your last shot of the night, wincing when the unpleasant taste tickles the back of your throat. As you make your way to the door, there's a silhouette in a corner booth that makes you stop. You think you might know who it is, but when the man turns his face toward the light, your heart immediately drops.

You blink, then chuckle to yourself. It's a laughable offense, to even think for a split second that this stranger bears any resemblance to your Yoongi.

Well, not yours anymore.

On the cab ride home, disappointment occupies the seat next to you. You don't know what you would've done if it did turn out to be Yoongi at the bar. Pretend that you didn't see him and run away maybe? That seems like the most plausible scenario.

He must have moved on already, and you wouldn't even blame him if he has. He isn't the sentimental type, isn't one to have moments of weakness and look for comfort at the bottom of a glass. Yoongi isn't the type to get drunk and be hit with an overwhelming need to call you up late at night to tell you that he's thinking about you. It's only you that wishes for him to go through the motions the same way you do.

You wish you weren't so easy to let go of.

You wish he loved you more than you loved him.

You wish you weren't meant to always be just second best.

Too bad there isn't a shooting star.

There's not a lot to be done whenever you get like this. This being falling down the rabbit hole of missing Yoongi until he's all you can think about. You just have to wait for the feeling to pass, maybe cry a little, fight the twitch in your fingers when they threaten to take your phone hostage and text him, repeat the process a couple of weeks later.

Disappointment follows you out of the car when you arrive at your building. It walks up four flights of stairs with you, then down the hallway. You expect it to wait patiently next to you as you fetch your keys and welcome it into your home like you always do.

But when you reach your door, you notice that disappointment is nowhere to be found. That it suddenly vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind at all.

Instead, you find Yoongi, who sits on the floor in front of your home.

Yoongi, whose eyes light up when he hears your familiar footsteps and looks up at you standing right before him. Yoongi, who scrambles to his feet instantaneously, a little clumsy in his movement.

Yoongi, who has a slight flush on his face, painting his cheeks rosy as if he's been drinking. Yoongi, whose pupils still dilate as he takes in the sight of you.

Yoongi, who is usually confident and callous, but is now speaking in a timid tone that you suspect would be similar to yours if you ever call to tell him you miss him.

"Hi."

He laid on his bed in this dingy apartment that he pays for with money he conjures. Being a demon has its perks. But, to remain under the guise of a regular human, he works at a local mechanics shop. 

He lives life as a typical low level human being. He has a backstory and everything. His parents passed away when he was little and his great aunt cared for him until he was old enough to move out on his own. While away she passed and he’s been alone ever since. This small village had accepted him, unfortunately for them. 

Now, Jungkook was a demon, but that didn’t mean he was wasteful. Nor was he ruthless and bloodthirsty. No, he was nothing of the sort. He was far too old for childish nonsense like that. His temper had almost fizzled out with the will to change his fate for the better. At this point? He’d rather disappear and be done with it all. Constantly looking for new souls to take, it had been exhausting in the beginning, and now? Now he didn’t care really one way or the other. 

He had one year before it all went away. 

One year before he dies.

The reason? Jungkook had betrayed his brethren. His fellow demons sentenced him to a life on Earth until he could fulfill a quota of ten thousand souls. Specifically, ten thousand souls of those who are the victims of the painful fate of unrequited love. As that was his crime.

He loved a human woman, and so? He was forced to kill the poor saps that had fallen into his own trap. 

A painful irony, but Jungkook had quit feeling pain a long while ago. Five thousand years to complete his task, to take ten thousand souls that were suffering the same pain as himself all those years ago. And finally, after far too many years, his task would be ending. And him along with it all. 

He couldn’t find it in himself to care much about himself. He was far too tired.

There was, however, one Earthly pleasure that he’d found himself enjoying. 

You. 

A witch in your own right, a member of the coven in the area. You’d moved in a few years back and noticed Jungkook immediately. He was handsome, he was dark and mysterious. How were you supposed to resist?

Jungkook initially hadn’t taken that much of a liking to you. But you were persistent and perhaps even a little desperate for a friend that knew at least some of your true identity. Jungkook had finally relented on his reluctance and had let you in. Not much, there were things you were certain he would never tell you. Perhaps some things you wouldn’t want to know in the first place. But, it didn’t take long for you two to start fucking after that. 

He was weak for very few things. However, cheap spicy ramen from the convenience store down the street, cigarettes and sex had proven to be nicely distracting.

You were pretty and nice enough, although Jungkook didn’t particularly care for you at first, once you two fucked a few times he could see himself forgiving your little nuisances. They didn’t really matter on the large scale anyways. 

Nothing did, actually.

A knock at the door brought him from his stupor. He didn’t have to work today, he’d be pissed if Hoseok came to ask him to cover again. He’d already done it five times in the past month. He put out his cigarette and moved towards the entrance. With a scowl on his face he answered the door to see your frame standing in the doorway. 

Jungkook raised a brow at you before looking down to see you dressed in your work uniform. You also had a regular job, but you worked as a bartender at the local joint in town. You took notice of his scowl and gave him a playful pout. 

“Aw baby, you look so much cuter when you smile,” you said with a pat to his cheek. Jungkook rolled his eyes but let you in as he saw you carrying his favorite booze in your hand. You set the bottle on the table and went to take your shoes off when Jungkook saw a flash of your panties up your skirt. 

It was Saturday. You and Jungkook usually fucked during the week as it worked best with both of your schedules. It was rare to see you on the weekends, as this was when the most tips came from the bar's patrons. 

“It’s Saturday,” he said, eyes trailing back to your face. 

You’d noticed his staring, but you didn’t care-this is usually what happened when he hadn’t seen you in a while. 

“Does that mean we can’t fuck on a Saturday?” you asked, head tilting to the side. 

Jungkook lit another cigarette. “Why aren’t you working?” he asked, taking a deep drag off the tobacco stick. You smiled at him and Jungkook sighed deeply.

You only smiled like that when you were up to no good. 

“I’m trying to set Sana and Alex up,” you said with that same damned smile. 

“Why the fuck do you want to do that?” he asked, tapping some of the ash off his vice into a glass. 

“Because they love each other, they just need a push to figure it out for themselves. So I asked to take an earlier shift today because we had a date,” you said, walking closer. Jungkook watched the sway in your hips and felt the stirring in his lower stomach. He wouldn’t mind fucking you tonight. It was better than forgetting what time it was. Again. “Plus a few of my sisters from the coven are coming over tonight.”

Jungkook sighed, decidedly ignoring the mention of your coven. “A date, huh?” 

You pouted and he smirked at your disappointment. “What? Can’t I say that’s what it is? Got something against dating me?” 

He inhaled deeply. “Not particularly, but demons and witches don’t mesh well.” 

A sharp jab to your heart, but Jungkook was great at those. Without realizing it, he broke your heart day after day. It was ridiculous honestly, you shouldn’t have fallen for him in the first place. Really, you shouldn’t have. You knew it was wrong. Jungkook wasn’t incorrect when he said witches and demons don’t get along well. Some witches had a strong moral code and demons could go against all of them without even a second glance. 

Jungkook technically could get you kicked out of your coven. 

But he was too enthralled with the fact you put out on the regular and you were too enthralled with him in general.

Overall, it wasn’t the best situation, but Jungkook had done you some favors in the past. Acquiring materials for your coven’s spells, summoning a few extra hundred dollars when you’re short on rent, and giving you an equally satisfying sex life. 

Hopefully, tonight was going to prove no different. 

“You seem to mesh just fine with me,” you said, voice teasing and obviously hinting. 

His eyes flashed a deep crimson at the thought of being able to fuck you. He’d been wound up and needing something besides cigarettes recently. Your body would be a welcomed distraction.

 “I do, don’t I?” he said, voice turning smoother.

Jungkook was an attentive lover, always making sure you came multiple times. As a demon he had good refraction period and was able to fuck you after cumming-sometimes multiple times a day. Especially if you hadn’t been able to come over often enough.

You hadn’t seen him in probably two weeks, you had to travel for a coven meeting. But it seems those two weeks left him needing you. 

He crowded your space, hands winding around your body and squeezing your ass. He rested his head against your collarbone, hiding his face in your neck. Jungkook did this sometimes, almost as if he could shrink his world and thoughts down to just this moment. This space. This breath happening between the two of you. 

You were about to ask if he was alright when he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You responded, letting him back you up towards the wall. Your thighs clenched at the attention. Jungkook had to be the best sexual partner you’d ever had in your almost one hundred years of life. Being a witch had its perks as well.

He was desperate against your mouth, panting and eagerly licking in between your lips, parting them so he could tangle his tongue with yours. His hands wound up your lower back. 

“Jungkook, baby,” you whined softly, as he swallowed your lips once more. “I gotta be quick today,” you frowned.

“That’s fine, I won’t last long anyways,” he said, already painfully hard in his jeans.

He turned you around, having your palms flat against the wall. “Think you can stand while I fuck you?” He asked, licking his lips at the sight of your ass presented nicely to him in your short skirt.

“Yes-I can,” you bit your lip, mind reeling with the fact you were about to have him again. You and Jungkook fucked fairly often, probably three times a month, sometimes more if he could swing it. And this had been your arrangement for almost a year now.

People at work knew Jungkook, he was a regular at the bar and people often referred to him as your boyfriend. In their minds you two were just young adults figuring out life and it would all work in the end. You two cared for each other-right?

“Hey,” Jungkook said, voice softer. “You there?”

Ah, you slipped into your thoughts again. 

“I’m here, it’s fine-please,” you whimpered, looking over your shoulder at him, the burning in between your thighs causing you pain. Jungkook nodded before flipping your skirt up and tugging your panties down your legs. You were soaked, wetness pulling away with your panties that had Jungkook hissing between his teeth.

“Fuck, do I have time to eat you out? Just a bit? Fuck please,” he begged, kneeling behind you and kissing your ass hungrily. “Let me, I need it baby, please?”

You really did have to be quick, members of your coven were coming over tonight and you’d have to scrub yourself stupid in the shower to not smell like demon. But fuck-when he begged like that?

“Whatever you want,” you said, voice breathless at his eagerness. 

He was so good at getting what he wanted. It always worked with you, and it always would unfortunately.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned, placing his mouth on you in needy kisses. Jungkook’s tongue threaded between your lips and found your clit almost immediately. You cried out and gripped the wall as he ate your pussy like a starved man. 

He liked it.

He liked eating your pussy so much. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the flavor, the amount of slick you produced for him, the way you rutted your hips back against him whenever he did it. You made the sweetest noises when he had his mouth on your cunt and now was proving no different. Jungkook almost felt high at the feeling of your wetness collecting on his face.

Maybe it was that part he was addicted to. Or maybe it was worse than that. In times like this, he really could forget. He could forget he was a demon, not many people willingly share this much of themselves with a demon and know the consequences. But as a witch, you knew what would happen if your coven found out. You knew and yet? You still let him in. You let him touch you and fuck you. All of it.

“Kook~” you cried out, head pressing against the wall. “Please, gonna cum,” you whimpered out. 

Damn, he was hoping to get a little more than that. The next time you came over he was going to want to eat your pussy for hours.

“Then cum for me, baby, get yourself nice and wet for my cock,” he said.

You didn’t need much today, you were just as needy as he was. Probably more so. A few more heady sucks of his lips and you were cumming.

“Jungkook-fuck,” you gasped. He smirked and stood up, licking his lips as he undid his jeans. You panted harshly against the wall, mind whirling in pleasure.

“That’s it, pretty thing,” he cooed, approaching with his now crimson eyes. You knew he must be needing this if he’s so worked up already. 

“Please baby, give me your cock?” you asked, reaching behind you to grab the front of his undone jeans. Jungkook followed easily when you tugged, your hand dipping underneath the fabric to grasp his cock. He sighed in pleasure, pushing his pants down further and head tilting back just a touch. He pushed his boxers down as well, freeing his cock entirely before you smiled back at him and taking him in your hand once more. 

“Fuck, yes,” he said, voice turning raspy and dark. 

You winked and pumped him a few times before lining him up with your dripping core. He hadn’t stretched you but you wanted the burn today. “Fuck me then,” you said, inviting him inside you once more. 

Jungkook held your hip as he started to lead his cock between your lips. “You wet enough?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

Such a smug bastard. But his cock was big enough he needed to ask-because he didn’t want to hurt you. His demonic nature was there, but honestly hurting someone that had continuously done him favors didn’t seem that important.

“Y-Yeah,” you whimpered, rubbing against him. “Please put it in, want your thick cock in me so bad Jungkook!”

He nodded, finally pushing in just a touch. You whined, head falling back as you felt the full sensation begin. Jungkook growled out at your tightness gripping his cock just right, giving him the rush of tingles down his spine. He gave gentle thrusts into your heat to ease you open, although you were really squeezing him today and his eyes rolled back in his head at the sensation of your sweet cunt letting him in inch by inch. 

“Fuck I love your pussy,” he groaned, rolling his hips into yours fully. 

“Love your cock,” you cried, walls clenching down on him harshly. Jungkook couldn’t stop his reaction of bucking into you roughly. You let out a sharp cry at his cock hitting deeper than usual.

“Sorry baby, m’sorry,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your neck and shoulder. Moments like that were the ones you remembered with pain in your chest. The way he easily apologized for the slightest harm to you. All except the harm to your heart.

You shook your head. “It’s okay, don’t worry-just, oh! G-give me more!” 

He didn’t need to be told twice, holding your hips he started thrusting inside of you with firm pushes. He huffed in his own pleasure, watching your puffy pussy swallowing his cock with each rut forward. “Look so good like this, take my cock so well,” he sighed, the sweet sensations of your warm, wet walls sucking him in had shivers rocketing down his spine and pooling heat in his stomach. 

“Cock so good, made to take it baby, love having you inside me like this,” you mewled. Jungkook smirked at your pleasure cries reaching his ears. 

“Made to take me huh?” he asked, giving harsher thrusts inside of you and watching as your face morphed into shocked pleasure. 

“J-Jungkook!” you sobbed out.

He was panting against your skin, thrusting inside you with eager pushes of his hips against your ass. The sound of skin slapping echoed through his apartment.

Jungkook could barely think at this point in sex. He was driven by your high pitched cries and the boiling need in his stomach. “Cum baby, cum all over my cock. Gonna let me cum inside today baby?” He teased, huffing sex driven laughter across your throat while he bit down.

“Mmm~ah! Y-Yeah, it’s fine, I have the potion for it,” you cried, grabbing his hand that was gripping one of your hips. He wound the other around your front to start playing with your clit to get you there faster.

“Then I’m gonna fill you up baby, feel it dripping inside of you huh? Wanna cum baby, fuck I really want it, say I can have it,” he groaned.

He loved hearing you beg for his cum. It did something to him, made his high that much sweeter because you pleaded for it. You wanted him that badly. There was something hot about having your watery eyes beg with his to finally let you cum. 

“You can, you always can baby,” you promised, holding his wrist while he pounded inside you brutally. 

Jungkook smiled against your skin before husking permission to cum against your jaw. With a deep gasp you came, Jungkook following not too shortly after. Your pussy milking him with each pulse of your afterglow. 

“Thank you-fuck, oh baby,” you shivered against him, leaning into the kisses he trailed along your shoulder. 

“Fuck give me a second, I came so hard,” he said, slumping against you while he pressed you against the wall with him still inside of you. But soon enough you felt him soften and with a deep sigh he pulled from you.

You shivered as his cum trickled down your thigh. 

“Ah shit, sorry baby,” he said, running to grab a few tissues. You panted softly against the wall, keeping yourself steady so as not to make a mess. He came back and helped you clean up a bit and offered you his shower. 

“Can’t, got sisters coming over tonight, if I shower here they’ll smell demon on me from a mile away,” you stated. “But thanks,” you said with a smile. 

He nodded, sitting at his tiny coffee table smoking a cigarette. 

Jokingly, you teased him. “Those’ll kill you one day,” you said, pulling on your shoes. 

Jungkook’s face didn’t smile like you were hoping. Although it rarely did, you felt the difference. He was… upset?

“No, I’ll be dead by next year regardless,” he whispered. 

The room went eerily quiet. Your heart was hammering in your chest. What did he mean he would be dead by next year?

“What the fuck does that mean?” You said, walking towards him in concern. “The fuck do you mean you’ll be dead by next year?”

Jungkook wasn’t phased by your anger. You hardly knew his story and he preferred to keep it that way. Because he knew this would be your reaction. And he hated fighting with you. It never made any difference. 

“Didn’t you find a demon, on its own-no contracts or groups or general mayhem happening-a little odd?” He asked, putting out his cigarette.

You swallowed thickly. It was odd. But you weren’t going to argue with a good thing and, perhaps you’d hoped that there was maybe just a happy coincidence, for once.

Of course you were wrong.

Naïveté hadn’t served you well in the past and it seemed to stomp your heart once again in this long life of yours…

“I never found you odd, Jungkook,” you said. 

“You should’ve.”

Your heart was racing making your next words slightly frantic. “What’s wrong with you, huh? What’s going on? Are you finally gonna tell me?”

He sighed deeply. He hated the sound of your voice right now. You sounded like you were going to cry, and he didn’t want to make you upset. Watching you cry was painful. 

“I have a quota of souls to collect. If I don’t collect all of them by the time set-I disappear,” he said. “The souls of those who know unrequited love.”

Your throat felt dry at his statement. What could you say to that? Was there anything to be said? It’s not like you two were dating, it’s also not like you ever could with you being in the coven.

“How many souls do you have left?” You asked, voice sad. 

“Ten,” he breathed.

Ten. Ten souls before next year didn’t seem crazily difficult. But the specificity did complicate things.

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll help you,” you said. 

Jungkook’s head snapped to you, and he stood quickly. “Don’t fucking say that,” he said, voice shaking with anger. 

“But why not? Why can’t I help you? I have the ability to find souls like that, we can travel and you can collect.” You explained. 

“We?” He asked, raising a brow. “You really think I trust you enough to let you do that? How do I know you wouldn’t take me right to that coven of yours?”

You felt your heart break. “Is that what you think I would do?” You said, voice sad and in disbelief. Jungkook knew it was a low blow, but he had to get you to leave if this is where this conversation was going.

He didn’t like hurting you, or your feelings. It usually wasn’t necessary but sometimes you dug too deep, and he had to back you off somehow.

“The fuck is your problem you asshole,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes. “All I did was ask to help you, is it so wrong that I actually want you around? That I actually like hanging out with your crabby ass… call me when you’re not being a massive dickhead” you said, grabbing your bag but intentionally leaving the booze. All it would do was make you think of him anyway. Jungkook was about to call out your name but you slammed the door right in the middle of his sentence.

“Fuck…”

He knew that wasn’t fair, he knew that he shouldn’t have snapped at you like that but… sometimes you did get too close. Jungkook knew what his end would be, and there wasn’t anything you or he could do about it.

At least, nothing he wanted to do about it…

—

You hadn’t spoken to Jungkook in a week or two now. He hadn’t reached out and you weren’t particularly interested in fighting with him again, not right now. He really did hurt your feelings… He could trust you, you wondered briefly what it would take for him to listen. To hear that you wanted him to collect those souls. 

You were just as damned as he was, you knew that. Even more so if your coven discovered what you were up to in your bedroom. And heart…

Just as you were about to suck it up and call him, your phone rang. It was a number you didn’t immediately recognize, but the area code was local.

“Hello?” You answered. 

“Hey, Y/N?” Hoseok’s voice echoed through the phone. Hoseok was a fellow mechanic at the shop Jungkook worked at. 

But what would he be calling for?

“Yeah? What’s up Hoseok?” You asked.

“Um… Jungkook, he collapsed at work, he might need to go to the doctor but we’re slammed. You’re his emergency contact so I’m calling you to let you know what’s going on?” His voice sounded worried and confused. Jungkook never got sick, he was a demon, but they didn’t know that. They just knew he was a healthy young guy. 

But this was odd. 

“I’ll be right there,” you said, hanging up and grabbing your keys.

The drive through town was relatively quiet, but when you got to the shop you could see that there were several people waiting for their usual tune ups and repair work.

You walked in and Ashley, the receptionist, smiled at you. “Hey Y/N, thanks for coming. Jungkook’s in the office with Namjoon,” she said softly.

With a nod you headed back towards the office. You heard Namjoon speaking to Jungkook, but it seemed like he was either not responsive or just choosing to ignore him. The latter seemed more probable. Namjoon was the head mechanic at the shop and ran it for his friend Chen who owned a couple different car places throughout the area. 

You opened the door and Jungkook’s head turned towards you. “Baby,” he called. You tried to keep the smirk off your face but you crossed your arms and leaned back against the door.

“Oh, so now I’m your baby?” You said, running your tongue along your teeth with an unimpressed look on your face. Jungkook sighed heavily, knowing that you were going to be pissed with him, he was lucky you came at all. Especially after how he treated you the last time you two saw each other. 

Namjoon sighed, used to the bickering and sour looks shared between the two of you here and there. “I don’t know what caused it Y/N, but he seems pretty sick. He might need to go to the doctor.”

Jungkook was about to protest when you nodded. “I’ll take him,” you said. His eyes flashed red in annoyance but it was brief. 

“Chen’s already given him the rest of today and tomorrow off,” Namjoon said. “So hopefully that’ll give him some time to recoup, but if he needs more just have him give us a call.”

You nodded, reaching for Jungkook’s hand. He took it, sitting up slowly. You read his energy and found yourself immediately concerned. He seemed to notice your worry and sighed deeply before standing and leaning against you. Without much more ceremony you ledhim to your car.

Neither of you said much as you got him in and started off towards his place. You would have to do an energy transfer for him tonight, luckily it would just take a few potions or a spell to replenish his energy, sex worked as well but ultimately the cause had you concerned. 

His human body was starting to deteriorate.

When you arrived you grabbed him and helped get him inside his house.

He was panting softly and laid back on his bed in a huff.

“You need energy,” you whispered, leaning forward to give him some of yours to ease some of his pain. Jungkook turned his head to keep your lips from connecting in the way he needed. “You’re being a shit, either let me help you or delete my number.”

Jungkook frowned, swallowing hard before turning his head so your lips could connect. He breathed deeply in relief as your energy flowed through him softly. Your energy had always been soothing to him, but right now it seemed to help immensely.

He’d missed you.

When you moved to pull away he grabbed you by the back of your neck and connected your lips again. You kissed him with a gentleness that he wasn’t used to, your lips gliding over his softly and with a warmth that was addictive. 

He loved your bites and eager kisses but this… This had things stirring in his stomach that frightened him.

Jungkook was afraid of very few things. But your genuine care for him scared him most of all. Because he knew he didn’t deserve it. Jungkook wasold and angry and yet, more exhausted than anything.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and settled in his lap. Kissing him a bit more to relax him. The energy would settle soon enough and he would at least be able to tell you what happened. 

“Baby,” he called, voice raspy and tired.

“Yes, Kook, what’s wrong?” You cooed, running your hands through his hair to ease him into accepting your energy. The more he fought it the less it would work. “Relax baby, I can’t help if you don’t let me.”

He nodded, head dropping into your neck as he simply tried to feel you. It had been a long time since he’d needed a transfer from you but each time he always forgot how easy you made it. 

“Good job, sweet boy,” you praised, kissing his cheek and temple.

Jungkook sighed heavily against your skin, placing tender kisses there as well. “Can I have more energy baby… please?”

You smirked. “Do you want the potions? I know they taste bad but they work, or we can do a direct transfer through sex-”

“Yes,” he said quickly. 

You chuckled softly before nodding. “That’s fine then, lay back baby,” you said, undoing his belt and getting his pants unbuttoned. 

“Fuck,” he sighed, head tipping back in bliss as you touched him. He felt encompassed by you and your soothing energy.

Your hand slipped in his pants and squeezed his cock gently to encourage him to harden. Your kisses on his jaw and neck stayed sweet but they were firmer, something told you he needed to be babied today. And even though it was rare, you adored it every time. You pushed his pants down further so they wouldn’t be in your way, sending him a look as you spat on his cock. You wrapped your hand around the shaft and pumped slowly, watching the pleasure write across his features. 

“F-Fuck, yeah-ah,” he whimpered, eyes shut and brow furrowed in ecstasy.

“Getting so hard so fast, gonna feel so good in my pussy baby,” you cooed, taking his hand and leading it under your skirt. 

Jungkook’s eyes practically sparkled at the fact you were so wet. “Soaked-you’re soaked angel,” he moaned, touching your core carefully.

You hiccuped a soft sigh of pleasure before leaning down and taking his cock in your mouth. Jungkook’s breathing stammered at your hot and wet throat swallowing his cock.

You’d always done it so well, and Jungkook could say he would die happily if you were sucking his dick. “F-Fuck, angel, please-mmm,” he groaned, his other hand gently caressing the back of your head. “Sweet tongue, feels so fucking good.

You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock before eagerly swallowing it again. Jungkook’s submissive whines had you clenching your thighs together as his fingers snuck inside your panties.

“O-Open your legs-please, wanna touch your pussy, need to feel you,” he whimpered.

Without much ceremony you did as he asked, opening your legs to let him touch you. Jungkook moaned at the feeling of your slick heat against his fingers, he plunged two inside of you causing your throat to tighten around his cock, giving him a rush of heady pleasure down his spine. He could feel you everywhere. Your energy coursing through him, your hot mouth on his dick and your juicy pussy dripping down his fingers. He was quickly getting overwhelmed in the best way. He wanted more of you, more and more until there was nothing left to give. He wanted to give you more too.

He desperately wished he could sometimes.

“Koo~” you moaned on his cock, rutting your hips gently to remind him you were currently soaking his hand and needed some stimulation or you were going to lose your mind. 

“Yeah angel baby, soaking pussy feels so good...”

You whimpered on his cock, using the vibrations to pleasure him that much more. But his fingers were working so much slick from your core you knew you needed to have him inside or you were going to go insane. He cried out when you pulled away, eyes wide with need. You kissed him then, giving him a touch more energy to help ease his frantic breathing. He shivered when you climbed on top of him, your warmth and wetness seemingly everywhere. 

“Ready baby? Want me to put you in?” you asked, tugging your panties off and slipping your skirt down and off of your legs. 

Jungkook nodded quickly. “Please, please baby let me feel you,” he said, reaching for you as you crawled back into his bed. You smiled and rubbed yourself against his cock teasingly for a moment before Jungkook looked about ready to cry. 

“Alright sweetie, I’ll stop teasing now, take what you need,” you said, easing yourself down on him. Jungkook’s hands settled at your hips, huffing out desperate breaths of pleasure as your tight heat swallowed his sensitive cock. 

“Yes! Yes fuck, feels so fucking good angel, oh baby,” he cried, sounding wrecked already. 

You had a feeling you would be doing most of the work today, so you started gingerly bouncing on his cock. Jungkook’s eyes were sparkling, turning a soft purple color as your magic intertwined with him. You had been training for years to have this level of mana and Jungkook knew he’d only scratched the surface of your abilities on days like this.

Sometimes he wondered how strong you really were. You handled him like you weren’t afraid of him or his powers. Albeit his strength was significantly less than it was back in hell.

Even then though, he was curious.

“Fuck~ Jungkook!” you whined, grinding your clit on his lower stomach. “Please, please baby, wanna make you cum,” you pleaded. “Cum inside me baby, please? Give me your cum and I’ll take it like such a good girl. Your good girl Kook,” you said, reaching down to play with yourself.

Jungkook groaned in pleasure. “So close baby, so close-ah fuck!” he gritted out through his teeth.

“Gonna fill me up? Please give it to me, Jungkook. Wanna have your cum so deep inside.”

He couldn’t hold it back anymore, Jungkook sat up and pulled you close as he rutted deeply in your pussy for a few quick thrusts before he shivered in release. You felt your core pulsing at his whimpers and whines from the pleasure your body gave him. His head was flush against your chest as he panted.

You smiled, running your fingers through his hair to soothe him. Your energy was mellowing nicely with his giving him more color in his face that eased your own heart. “Kook,” you said softly. “D’you feel okay?” you asked, hips and thighs burning from the effort to fuck him, but the pleased look on his face made everything worth it in your mind. 

“You didn’t cum,” he said, reaching down to touch your sensitive clit. He was still decently hard inside of you, but you knew he didn’t have long. “Wanna make you cum angel,” he said, rolling his hips up into your gingerly.

“Mmm, baby,” you called in a pitched tone. “Won’t take much, I’m so close,” you hiccuped, resting your head on his shoulder. 

Jungkook grunted, his cock was sensitive but your sweet moans kept him up long enough to feel that tight squeeze from your pussy and the rush of slick that soaked his cock in response. “Fuck, yes, yes give it to me,” he begged. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly. You scanned his energy quickly and felt relieved to know it was almost back to normal. “Thank you baby,” you said, patting his cheek with a dizzying smile. 

“It’s not as good if you don’t cum, love feeling you squeeze me,” he sighed in bliss, your warmth still holding his cock nicely. 

Sometimes he liked this. He liked just feeling your body against his, his cock inside you for a few moments after you both came. You got wetter and slicker and your walls felt so nice on his cock he thought it would make him cum again some days. 

You smoothed your hands down his back, holding him close as your energy finally settled and his eyes changed back to their regular brown color. 

With wobbly knees you got up and headed towards his bathroom. 

Jungkook laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. He wanted a cigarette but he’d run out the night before.

You came back and stood before him. Jungkook could see up your skirt and he was trying not to focus on that as you stood there with a waiting expression.

He inhaled deeply. “I know you read my energy. You know what’s happening to me,” he said.

“I want to hear you say it to me,” you stated.

Jungkook nodded, agreeing with your demands of honesty. Finally.

“Not all demons are without humanity. Some have more than others, yet I always seemed to stray towards more rather than less… there was a woman, I slowly found things I liked about her. Then things I enjoyed… then things I found myself smiling about on my own. I was endeared to this woman… I loved her in a sense,” he said, staring at the ceiling.

“And yet, it wasn’t enough,” he breathed. “My fellow knights laughed at me, then berated me for genuinely showing care towards a human. As one of the high knights of hell I was expected to have higher standards than disgusting humans. So they bound me in a human body, locking most of my powers away, so I would no longer be able to communicate with the human I once cared for. And then I was given the quota I told you about… and five thousand years to make it happen. If I didn’t collect a thousand souls then I cease to exist, it’s starting. My timer is running out.”

You swallowed thickly. “How do I help you stop it? How do I help you?”

Jungkook gave you a tired smile. “Baby, I don’t want to ask that of you. I’m so old now, this life doesn’t matter to me anymore.”

You felt a few tears well up in your eyes despite yourself. “It fucking matters to me…” you whimpered. “You matter to me.”

Jungkook was stunned. “Y/N,” he said, reaching for you.

You sat on the bed next to him. “I don’t want you to disappear. What will happen if you collect all one thousand souls?”

“I will be reinstated in Hell,” he murmured. “I won’t disappear and I will be back to full strength once more.”

You swallowed hard, nodding your head. Either way you’d lose him, but at least one way he’d still be alive… “Then let me help you, I don’t want to see you die like this.”

Jungkook sighed deeply. He’d never had many friends. He had people he kept around for convenience, but overall he’d kept to himself throughout the years. You were the only one in recent history that he’d told anything to. Perhaps he could truly do this. He could be reborn in hell once more.

And when he got back to hell… he could rip those knights apart for what they put him through…

He nodded. “I’ll need your help,” he said.

“You have it,” the words fell easily from your lips. “I won’t let you die like this.”

“Then I won’t.”

—

Jungkook hadn’t expected you to take this so seriously. And yet, here you were in his apartment. You had your glasses on and were gazing at your spellbook as a potion boiled on the stove. Jungkook alway thought you used a cauldron.

‘You think my tiny ass apartment could fit a cauldron?!’ You’d cried in annoyance at his teasing.

So here it bubbled and boiled and no doubt would cause trouble for Jungkook when he would ultimately have to clean it later.

“Baby,” he called, moving closer to you with your cup of coffee.

You’d stayed the night last night-Jungkook may have fucked you stupid enough he was worried about you driving. There weren’t any sisters of the coven stopping by soon so you could spend the night wrapped in his sheets. And you did exactly that.

You had ten months and twelve days to complete the task Jungkook had been given.

Ten more souls in ten months.

You’d already gotten a list together of possible cities you could look into. Once you had your potion perfected, Jungkook could go out and find his prey with minimal difficulty.

You took the cup from him, setting your spellbook aside as he sat across from you on the couch. You sighed and removed your glasses, rubbing your sleepy features before taking a sip of the hot coffee.

Jungkook watched you and gave your knee a squeeze. “Don’t use up too much energy baby. I’ve got ten months,” he said.

“Ten months isn’t a long time for a witch, nor is it for a demon, we need to work quickly before your condition progresses,” you said, drinking more of your coffee.

Jungkook crawled forward, taking your coffee from you which caused a pout to befall your features. He set your coffee down and crawled on top of you, laying his head right under your chest. He’d crawled between your thighs and was lying entirely over you.

“Need more energy?” You asked, running your fingers through his hair. 

“No, I’m fine,” he said, resting against you.

You chuckled before resting back, hand still playing with the hair on his head. Recently, Jungkook had been craving these more than his cigarettes. Simple touches, soft kisses and conversations. Jungkook had never felt so at ease before. Even in his life as a knight of hell.

Jungkook rested heavily against your stomach, laying in between your legs. You knew this could be a side effect of your energy transfer-but it had been a while since he’d needed one. Usually the clinging from your energy would dissipate in a day or two.

It had been at least a week at this point. So what made Jungkook so snuggly? You didn’t want to complain about a sweet thing however.

Jungkook leaned into you more, curling around you as you kept rubbing his scalp. He seemed happy to just stay like this for a while. And you wondered what was causing such a change in him. Was this what he was like with those he trusted?

Sweet and softer?

Or was this purely for you-

No.

You couldn’t think that way, not about Jungkook. Either way this ended with him leaving you… you had to keep focused, you were doing this for your friend.

Your truest friend.

Jungkook snoozed on your belly, content to laze about while you did the hard work. But your heart broke a little more that day.

As you slowly started to fall for a man without a soul.

--

You’d been stressed today. 

Jungkook could tell that you were just by the cute frown on your face, it seemed to have a permanent place on your pretty features today. It always appeared when you were frustrated or angry. He’d seen it directed at him several times, but right now it was at the potion you were working on. 

There was a new ingredient you were sampling in it or something to that effect, Jungkook didn’t really understand much of what you were doing to be honest. But it was clear you were stumped for now. It was almost two o’clock in the morning.

“Y/N...” he trailed off, approaching as you sighed deeply.

Jungkook rarely said your name, so to hear it come out you knew whatever he said next he either was serious. 

“Time to take a break,” he whispered, standing behind you in his kitchen. There were bags of ingredients all over the kitchen and it would no doubt be left there until later when you two woke up. You’d been staying at his place more and more lately and he couldn’t find it in himself to complain. He had access to your sweet lips and body daily, but it seemed rare that he wanted sex recently. Not that he wasn’t attracted or he was disinterested, it was merely there were other things about you that he was finding more and more interesting. Sex would always be one of his favorite activities with you, but right now he felt that he was learning new things about you everyday. It had him excited in ways he hadn’t been in centuries. 

It also had him concerned. 

Jungkook was a demon, he shouldn’t be having feelings like this. It almost shouldn’t be possible. It was not in his design to care much about people or have interest in them other than striking deals and killing them to collect their souls. 

But Jungkook pushed all of those worries and thoughts to the back of his head. 

Because your frown had appeared again, and that sweet pout he wanted to kiss. 

“I’ve almost got it,” you said, voice soft and sleepy. 

“I’m sure you do baby, but you’re tired and you won’t work well when you’re falling asleep,” he said, kissing your shoulder. “Come to bed...”

You leaned back heavily against him, looking up at his face while you sighed. With a tired smile you patted his cheek. 

“I don’t want to give up for the night yet, you go to bed, I’ll join you in a bit...”

Jungkook wasn’t going to take that for his answer. So he turned the burner on his stove off and lifted you into his arms deftly. You didn’t have it in you to fight him, you expected this result anyways. 

He laid you in bed and crawled in next to you. He pulled you into his embrace and sighed heavily as you snuggled in. He wrapped you up in his arms and you looked at his expression and gave him a smile. A real one. In reward he returned it, kissing your lips before laying back on the pillow. 

“Sleep baby, we can try again in the morning.”

His words soothed something inside of you, the desperate thirst to have this potion done so you didn’t waste any more precious time. 

You could waste a little time though, right?

Here in his arms you thought you could waste a lot more time than you had...

—

A weekend trip to the city was easy to conceal from your coworkers and sisters. You claimed you wanted a weekend away from coven activities-which was a bold-faced lie as you would be using magic in public which was almost exclusively forbidden. And doing it to help a demon. 

Needless to say you hoped no one in your coven ever found out about this.

Jungkook grabbed his bag and tossed it into the back of his car as he got your stuff in too. “Got my keys baby?”

You tossed them across his car and he caught them, moving into the drivers side and opening your door for you. You climbed in and buckled up and shortly thereafter you were on the road.

You and Jungkook turned on a playlist and drove out of the town's limits and made it to the highway. Jungkook changed the playlist and you two settled in for a while.

After a bit, Jungkook reached over and grabbed your thigh, driving with one hand on the wheel. You looked down at his hand before gazing back at him.

“What?” You asked softly.

Ten months and three days. That’s how long you had left.

“Just wanted to.” 

Your mouth curved into a shy smile before you placed your hand on his, afterwards your fingers intertwined in your lap.

Soon, you rolled into the city. Jungkook had gotten a decent hotel room for a few days for you two to have a home base. You’d find sections of the city where the next soul was and Jungkook could go out at night and collect.

His powers made it discrete however. Usually the attack was made to look like a natural cause. Rarely did it arouse suspicion. All by design.

When you two made it to your hotel room, Jungkook was quick to attach himself to you. He’d been less interested in solely gaining sex from you recently. However it had been a while since your last romp.

His lips found your neck as you tried to get your stuff out of your bag.

“Kook, what do you want?” You huffed as his hard length brushed against your ass. An aroused shiver rushed through you, sex being a little less frequent between the two of you had you more sensitive to his touch than usual.

“Wanna fuck baby, please?” He asked, rutting against your core softly.

You rolled back against him, unable to help yourself in this instant. His body felt so good and you were more than willing to have him between your legs.

“Yes, fuck me, Kook,” you breathed.

Jungkook didn’t waste much time, he hooked his fingers in your pants and pulled them down quickly. Your panties were damp and Jungkook purred at the sight. “You’re so wet baby,” he smiled, his hand dipping in your panties while he kissed your jaw.

You couldn’t help the soft juts of your hips into the cup of his pelvis, causing your ass to grind against his cock. “Fuck… Jungkook,” you whined, head rolling back on his chest. A soft chuckle escaped him at your needy tone.

“Yeah, m’gonna fuck you so hard baby,” he said. His fingers found your wet folds, sinking two inside your entrance shallowly, causing you to clench desperately.

You held his wrist, whimpering in need. “Please, please,” you panted. “Need something inside. Need you inside me, Kook.”

Jungkook kissed your jaw, a smile on his face. “Want my cock baby? Want it in that sweet little pussy?”

“Yeah~” you pleaded. 

With a deep sigh Jungkook took his hand from inside your panties, tasting your slick and moaning. 

“I need to eat your pussy first,” he said, turning you around and laying you on the bed. You laid back on the bed, peeling your legs open so that he could lay between them. Jungkook grabbed your panties and tossed them away. He breathed out in an eager pant. His eyes were locked on your core and then he looked at you. 

“Wanna eat it baby?” you asked, smiling at his hungry eyes. 

“Yeah,” he whined. “Let me have it, please baby let me eat your pretty pussy. Make you cum so nice,” he said, licking his lips.

Jungkook looked at your core, furrowed brows as he seemed as if he was almost in pain. “Please…”

You nodded. “Okay baby,” you said with a grin. “Take it then.”

He captured your lower lips in a hot kiss, moaning deeply as he licked between your folds to gather more of your sweetness that had him addicted. “Fuck… yes,” he groaned, moving to hold your thighs apart so he had better access to your dripping core.

“Kook!” You whined, head falling back on your shoulders as your fingers wound into his hair. “Fuck, fuck your mouth!” You cried.

Jungkook was eager to eat, it seemed that no matter how much time he spent between your legs it wouldn’t be enough. He’d always wish for one more minute, your sweet cunt on his mouth and your wetness gathering on his tongue had his cock pulsing in need. But he didn’t care about that, getting you soaking wet for his cock was all that was on his mind.

He took your clit between his pretty lips and started sucking harshly. He swirled his tongue around your sensitive bud before going back to suck again. You mewled in pleasure, thighs trembling at his heady touches. His middle and pointer fingers rubbed over your core before catching at your entrance. With a soft smirk he pushed his two fingers inside your hot walls. 

“Jungkook!” you cried, grabbing his hair harshly. He just moaned in acknowledgment, happily slurping the wetness you leaked as he thrust his fingers in and out of your pussy slowly. His eyes shimmered at the sight of your slick coating his digits as it always did. 

“I love your pussy so much, fuck,” he growled, lips and chin covered in you. 

“So close, Jungkook,” you begged, the throbbing in your walls a clear sign of your oncoming orgasm. 

He smirked again, before pulling away. You were about to cry for him to keep going when you heard him unbuckling his pants. With eager hands you moved forward to grab at him, pulling him closer as he chuckled at your neediness. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” you scowled.

“Sorry baby,” he cooed, kissing your jaw. “Gonna make you squirt on my cock to make up for it huh?”

You felt the rush of his words tingle down your spine. He rarely didn’t mean what he said. And you were his good girl. If he wanted you to squirt on his cock then so be it.

You two quickly got worked up as Jungkook kissed you breathless and you tugged his pants down his thick thighs. He pulled his shirt off of his body and your eyes always widened. His tattoos were on full display and his toned body moving on top of you had stars forming in your eyes. 

“You’re such a slut for a hot body,” he smirked, eyes dark and swirling with red undertones. 

“I’m a slut for your hot body, yes,” you corrected. His eyes widened at your statement, but you were pumping his dick in your hand and he quickly felt his need for you taking over. 

“Then let me put it in,” he sighed, naked now.

You were pulling your bra off when Jungkook leaned close. You looked at him in bewilderment for a moment before you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. 

There was this... sensation in Jungkook’s chest. Your bright eyes, teasing smile and sweet kiss encasing him and making him feel...

Lighter.

You laid back once you were naked as well and Jungkook moved eagerly to get in position. You giggled as he dragged you closer, adjusting you so his cock was now level with your pussy.

“Gonna put it in now baby,” he said, pushing just the tip of his cock inside before pulling out. You cried in impatience and Jungkook nodded, listening to both of your desires and pushing in further. Your fingers gripped the sheets of the bed and Jungkook rubbed your clit with his thumb to ease any tension from you so you could take him easily. He pulsed inside your cunt, a shiver of bliss running down his spine. It felt like electricity flowing through him. Your pussy was warm and snug around his cock and he could feel your wetness leaking down onto his balls already and he smiled. 

“Jungkook! Please, please move,” you whined, eyes watery and pretty. 

“Yes angel baby,” he agreed, thrusting inside of you with a steady pace. 

The two of you moaned in appreciation of the other. Jungkook’s thick cock filled you in every way you wanted and needed, hitting all the right fucking spots. You’d never had another partner make you feel this way in the over one hundred years of your life. You clenched tightly and Jungkook swore he almost lost his fucking mind. He grabbed your thigh as he ground his pelvis against yours after every other thrust, holding himself up with the other hand. He was rewarded with your decadent cries.

“Fuck! Jungkook, fuck me baby, please, more-I need more,” you begged, grabbing his upper back and shoulders desperately. 

Your wish was his command. He moved your thighs so your knees touched your ribs and started fucking you harder. The sound of your wet pussy swallowing him filled the room and he could hardly think. The only thing driving him was your cries and the pulsing in his lower stomach. 

“Fucking wet pussy, yes-yes!” He sighed, his head tipping back for a moment as the pleasure of the moment overcame him.

“So big-so full!” you whimpered. 

Jungkook smiled at your mewling cries, they coursed through his veins and made his chest tighten. Bringing you to this point was always so exhilarating. He loved pushing you to your limits and watching you shudder and gasp as he forced you to take it over and over again while the sparkle in your eye never faded. You wanted to take it, take him. You loved challenging him and bringing him to his knees just as often as he did to you.

“Yeah, take my big cock, snug little pussy takes my cock so well,” he growled, leaning down to kiss you with dark passion. He sucked on your lower lip before capturing your tongue in between his lips instead. 

“Ahhh~” you whined, his hips pushing harder and harder against yours. He finally released your tongue and pulled you into another deep kiss before giving two more firm thrusts before looking at you, his eyes swirling with their beautiful red hue.

“Wanna fuck you from behind baby,” he purred, pulling from you and encouraging you to roll onto your belly. He spanked your ass, gripping the flesh between his fingers and watching you writhe in need for him.

“Please Kook,” you begged. “Put it back in...” you said, wiggling your hips to entice him. Jungkook spanked you again, causing you to gasp in pleasure. 

“Wait for my cock you needy girl,” he said. “I’ll make it worth it,” he promised, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. You leaned your head to the side and reached up to cradle his neck. Jungkook trailed his hand down to your soaked pussy, throbbing with the need to cum. He slipped his fingers inside of you, reaching his other hand around your throat to tilt your head up. You watched him tower over you while his fingers plunged in and out of your sopping pussy. 

Jungkook bit his lip while watching your eyes glaze over with the desire to cum. He loved bringing you to this point. Needy, eager and pleading for the pleasure he can deliver to you. “Sweet pussy baby, wanna cum? Wanna cum on my fingers?” 

You couldn’t even form words with how good he felt. Your mouth was open as you panted your pleasure out in desperation. 

“Or do you want my thick cock making you cream and squirt?” He teased, curling his fingers to hit that spot inside you that had stars swirling in your vision. “What does my angel want?”

“Kook, p-put your cock in, need it!” You rasped, feeling far too fucked out to handle anymore teasing.

Jungkook honestly couldn’t wait much longer either. His stomach felt tight with desire and he really needed to cum. 

“Okay baby,” he cooed. Honestly, Jungkook was at his limit too. He couldn’t wait to feel the walls of your pussy wrapped around him while he plowed you into the bed and finished inside. Fuck, he wanted it so badly. 

Finally he lined up with your entrance and pushed inside slowly. A soft cry came from your lips that Jungkook shushed, a lazy smile on his face. “Don’t cry at me baby, I’ll fuck you even harder for it.”

Little did Jungkook know, you wanted the rough treatment right now. You wanted more of it. He sighed in bliss when he bottomed out in your tight cunt, a deep seated pleasure boiling in his stomach. He couldn’t wait to feel you cream around his cock. You were flat on your belly, legs together but ass perched slightly up so Jungkook slid all the more easily. 

“Yeah... just like that, good girl angel, that’s my good girl,” he said, starting to pick up pace rather quickly. You didn’t need him to be careful, you needed him to make you cum. 

“Kook-Jungkook!” you cried, gripping the sheets between your fingers as he started pounding you just as he promised. 

He couldn’t help the grin that fell over his features when he saw that ring of your cream forming at the base of his cock. “Fuck, fuck baby you look so good like this. Letting me fucking cream this pussy, ah~” he whined at your clenching walls sucking him in-begging in their own right for his cum. 

“Please kook, so close, let me cum baby, please-I need it, need you Kook!” you cried. Jungkook’s hands found yours as he leveraged his hips so he could go even harder inside you. 

“Gonna make me cum baby, make me cum fuck,” he huffed out, breaths coming in short pants. His brow was sweaty and the muscles in his thighs were trembling from the position he was fucking you in. But he didn’t care. Because your pussy was working him over and his balls were tensing as he waited for you to rut those cute little hips back. 

Like clockwork you did as he expected, one of your tells you would be cumming soon. “Fuck, Jungkook! So close-so close!” you squealed, gripping his hands desperately as he was slamming into you. The wet squelching noises of your pussy were driving him up the wall and the view of your ass while he wreaked havoc on your body.

“M’gonna cum, angel, tell me where you want it,” he said, panting against your ear as he leaned over you. 

“Inside baby, want all your cum inside me,” you whined. 

He growled deeply, kissing your neck and biting down while he rutted inside harshly. “Take it then, cream my cock while I fill you up,” he said, another passionate snarl leaving his lips.

You answered with your own sweet mewls of pleasure, egging him on, whispering more naughty things to make him fuck you that much harder. 

It didn’t take much longer before you both found yourselves thrown into orgasm. You first, walls squeezing him tightly, pulling him over the edge of bliss alongside you. He breathed hard against your shoulder, kissing along your skin to ease both of you through the intense sensations. 

His cum started seeping past his softening cock and Jungkook finally found the ability to move once more. He wandered to the bathroom and got a few washcloths to clean the pair of you up with. Soft kisses were placed along the crown of your head, your cheeks and lips. “Such a good girl, angel baby,” he praised, more words of affection lain across your skin with his mouth. 

Jungkook crawled into bed with you, pulling your frame close. “You alright?” 

A soft chuckle escaped you, curling into him with practiced ease. “Yeah, m’good,” you said, eyes drooping slowly.

He smiled at you then, and you felt an odd pulse go through you. 

The sooner you helped him, the faster he would slip from your grasp. These moments with him were fleeting, each time closer and closer to the last time you’d be entangled like this. Each kiss counting down in big red numbers. Your heart squeezed, and before you knew it, tears started to fall from your eyes. 

Jungkook startled at the sudden change in emotion from you. “Hey, what’s wrong baby? Y/N?” 

For a moment you really thought. 

You really thought that you two could love each other...

--

Jungkook left your room late that evening. He kissed your head as you slept, curled up in the sheets naked. Jungkook almost didn’t want to leave you, he wanted to sleep as well-he wanted to hold your warm frame against him as he did.

These thoughts were starting to concern him. These were the very kinds of thoughts that had damned him to spend five thousand years on Earth. He wasn’t keen on suffering for another five thousand.

As a demon, Jungkook wasn’t sure if he should be able to feel these things. He was starting to care for you. He wanted to spend time with you, he wanted to be around you. But he knew that your time together was limited. Either he died or was sent back to hell, and either way you two would lose each other in the end. 

It made him angry that this was your fate.

He didn’t want his time with you to be on a countdown. But the world is cruel by design and there was nothing Jungkook could do. You would ultimately be ripped from each other. 

As he walked down the streets, Jungkook took your potion you’d made to help him navigate all the different souls at once. Jungkook wasn’t used to hunting like this anymore, it felt like decades since his last hunt. Perhaps it was, he wasn’t sure at this point. One thousand souls is a lot of people to collect from, and five thousand years is a long time to be on Earth. He was always forgetting the time before he met you.

Now, his time had never felt more limited. 

Jungkook weaved through the people of the night, watching with keen eyes that were enhanced with your potion. Your potion also enhanced his other abilities, his strength and allure were heightened as well. 

Everything would increase Jungkook’s likelihood of taking a few souls tonight. 

He slid into a seat at a random dive bar, he charmed the bartender to give him a free drink as he walked through the people. There was a woman here, she was in her early thirties. Jungkook followed her, projecting a different face to lure her in. 

Jungkook approached her cooly, speaking in soft tones and shy smiles to coax her into divulging her name. He handed her the drink and she blushed softly. The poor woman was in love with her boss, who was married. There was no way they’d ever get to be together. He always felt moderately bad for these people, but before he met you he thought they almost deserved it in a sense. That’s what they got for getting their hopes up. But now.... 

He led her outside into an alleyway where he seduced her just a bit more. Jungkook breathed her name out, capturing her lips in a kiss, and soon her soul was traveling from her to him, absorbing into Jungkook as he caught her, laying her down on the ground. It looked like she merely had a heart attack and fell over in the alleyway. 

A sad ending for her. 

Kerri Jesen...

Jungkook walked away from the scene, his old persona melting off and his regular human form, although the feeling of a soul coursing through him had his heart pounding in his chest. It was a rush, almost like getting high. His head was spinning and his mind was reeling, but he knew this was simply due to the fact he hadn’t been collecting souls as frequently. 

Usually demons didn’t get this kind of rush.

Jungkook was wandering the streets towards the hotel when the distinct feeling of being watched fell over him. 

He didn’t stop moving, but he knew it was a witch tracking him. His mind was still a little hazy from the collection but he knew that it wasn’t supposed to last much longer. He didn’t head back to the hotel yet. He didn’t want to lead an angry witch right to you if he had a choice.

Just as he was about to turn another corner, a blade was presented to his throat. Jungkook stopped moving, the witch brandishing her blade scowling at him. 

“Demon,” she spat at him.

“Witch,” he spat back.

“You murdered my sister,” she growled, slicing at him with her knife. He dodged it easily, but he really didn’t want to fight. She wasn’t going to count towards his quota so there was no point in killing her, except to get her off his back. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he answered honestly. 

“I saw you!” she yelled. “You were at the bar! Then you shifted,” she said, taking another deep jab at him. 

He dodged again, but he could tell she was going to cause a scene with the way she was going. He had to get out and fast. When she lunged again, Jungkook took her by the wrist and threw her onto the ground and took off running. He ran towards the hotel, his only instinct was telling him to head for you.

He bolted into the elevator and then took off towards your shared room. It was almost two am, he didn’t want to wake you but he was afraid he wasn’t going to be given an option. 

“Baby,” he called, walking into the room. 

You were asleep on the bed, curled up right where he left you. He moved closer and kissed your shoulder. “Baby, Y/N, we gotta go,” he said, urging you to wake. 

You did so slowly, exhaustion filling your limbs and making them heavier than lead. “What? What’s wrong Kook?” you murmured, reaching for him slowly. 

“Need you to get up, we’ve got trouble,” he said. 

Your eyes cleared and you moved to get dressed quickly. Jungkook was starting to grab your stuff when the window to your room shattered. 

“Fuck!” You screamed, falling back on the floor as the witch jumped through the now broken window. 

“Y/N!”

The witch stood and glared at you. You felt the hostility and rage pouring off her in waves. Whatever Jungkook did, he really really pissed her off. Without much more ceremony you stood and blocked her from Jungkook.

“What are you doing?” you asked, voice firm. “What the fuck is going on?”

“That fucking demon killed my sister-and you... you’re a fucking witch! What the hell are you doing with a demon anyways? Did you summon it?”

“Him,” you corrected. “I didn’t summon him, I’m helping return him to hell,” you stated calmly.

“And helping it return to hell involves fucking it?”

You bristled at her tone.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you warned, feeling your magic swirl in your fingertips. 

“Baby-”

“Don’t Jungkook, you stay behind me right now,” you stated. 

The witch looked at you with curious eyes. “You love this demon?” 

Jungkook’s head snapped to you as you stared straight ahead. This witch was bad news. She wasn’t from your coven, but she was from one in this region you were certain. This was exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Because now she was picking a fight with a different coven. And she knew. She knew you were falling in love with Jungkook and it was her greatest weapon against you in this moment. 

You hardly had time to blink before she made her first attack, a flash of lightning directed for Jungkook. You didn’t even move in order to cast your magic,  you made a ward that protected him entirely without even the lift of a finger. 

“You’re strong, how old are you?” she asked, like the question was an average thing to hear from another person.

“Old enough to know when to pick my battles. I don’t want to fight with you, and Jungkook doesn’t either-”

“That demon killed my sister! I won’t let it live,” she growled. 

“I won’t let him die,” you said with a deep tone. Your eyes flashed purple and you sent magical flames towards her feet. They wouldn’t burn anything but the intended target. She shrieked and jumped onto the bed, rolling and throwing a knife towards you. With a quick flash you stopped the blade in the air and turned it towards her, propelling it forward with your magic. 

Jungkook was stunned to say the least. He’d never seen you use your magic like this before. He didn’t even know you were capable of this much mana manipulation and things of the like. He knew you were strong before because of how much energy you’d always been able to give him, but this was on an entirely different level.

“You’re betraying your sisters for this?!” the witch cried. 

“I am,” you said, a shot of ice towards her. Elemental magic was much more complex than most witches understood, so to have you wielding it so effortlessly had Jungkook impressed all over again. 

She dodged it. 

“What’s your name huh? What coven do you belong to?” you asked, warding against another attack. 

“My name is Maya Tudor, I’m from the Coven of Nyx Rienhardt, and we will not tolerate the murder of one of our own,” she hollered. 

“You’re not supposed to act on your own,” you said, blocking more of her attacks. “You’re meant to report this to Nyx herself. She would then dispose of me how she sees fit,” you said, pushing back against her. “Acting on your own without the thought of your sisters is just as damning. Isn’t that what I’m doing? You’re acting no better than me, little witchling.”

Maya shoved back against your wards, causing you and Jungkook to stumble onto the floor. Jungkook caught you, holding you close as Maya attempted another strike when you snapped back with a whip of ice. 

She cried as the magic burned her skin, causing a blister to form along her arm. “Fucking bitch!” she snarled, standing back as Jungkook pulled you to your feet.

“Come on,” he said, pulling you towards the door. 

The pair of you booked it down the hallway, the sound of Maya hot on your heels made you concerned. People weren’t supposed to know witches and demons or anything in regards to the supernatural. Maya was breaking more rules than you were at this point. 

Jungkook and you made it to the parking garage.

He was just trying to get you to the car so you could gather a bit of your strength to help the pair of you get away. At least for now. 

“Jungkook, slow down!” you cried, stumbling over your feet. 

“Can’t, we gotta get out of here Y/N,” he said, pulling harder. 

“Jungkook she’s gonna hear you-fuck!” 

With a pained whimper, you fell to your knees. The car was just a hundred yards away. “Y/N?!”

You held your side, as a small dagger peaked between your fingers. Jungkook kneeled with you, looking at the damage. You’d survive, he just had to get you in the fucking car. 

Unfortunately, it seemed you had different plans. 

You lifted yourself up onto your feet, wavering slightly as you stared at the brat of a witchling who you knew wouldn’t know any better. But honestly, this was too much. You weren’t going to lose Jungkook to her.

Yourself on the other hand...

“Enough,” you said, pulling the dagger from your side and dropping it to the floor. Maya looked at you with disdain evident in her eyes.

“I will get revenge for my fallen sister,” she growled.

“I won’t let you hurt him,” you declared firmly.

Jungkook swallowed hard. This witch was different then he’d originally anticipated. He was starting to sense a difference in her magic. You were taking most of the hits and he wondered why, up until now. 

She could slay a demon with the blade she’d hit you with. 

Banishing magic. 

No wonder you were being so fiercely protective. One hit with those blades and Jungkook would be killed. Or at the very least, sent back to hell.

But you were already hurt, he didn’t want to see you get injured even more. 

“Baby,” he called softly. 

“Don’t, don’t distract me or she’s going to-”

She sent rapid fire bolts towards you that you had to work hard to dodge, messing with your orientation enough that you stumbled. Jungkook tried to support you but you waved him off. “Go, go baby, get out of here.” 

Jungkook scoffed in shock. You were going to sacrifice yourself... for him?

That’s when he understood what Maya said in the hotel room. 

You loved him...

Jungkook’s throat got tight as he thought about you. However, his heart didn’t race. It couldn’t, he couldn’t love you the way he is now. Even if he was more human than most demons, he was still-ultimately-a creature of chaos. A creature that didn’t have a typical set of emotions. 

Although he knew... He knew deep within himself had he been human, he would love you. He’d love you with everything he was if... if only he could. 

Perhaps he should do this for you. He should make the call and give you the last thing he can.

His life. 

It would always be yours.

You and Maya were going back and forth. You were doing harder work, protecting yourself and Jungkook as Maya made ground with her attacks. The wound on your side was aching, and there was nothing you could do about it. Not without losing more of your energy that could be spent protecting and hopefully getting this bitch to leave you and Jungkook alone.

You were sweating, the magic energy finally starting to drain. However, the witchling didn’t look much better. If you could just hold out a little longer. 

Unfortunately, there was a hidden trump card. 

Maya shouted an incantation before you were surrounded with bright light. The pain hit you first as you thudded to the ground gasping, Maya had slammed you with lightning. You weren’t even able to get a ward up to protect yourself from the exhaustion coursing through your veins. Jungkook moved in front of you.

Maya stalked towards Jungkook with purpose. You whimpered from the ground, looking at him with a pained expression. He just gave you his smile before turning to face the witchling once more. 

“If I let you kill me, will you leave her alone?” Jungkook asked.

“Jungkook, no!” you cried desperately.

Maya considered it for a moment. “Yes, her coven will take care of her.”

You tried to get up, sending a bolt of ice towards her once more. It threw her on her ass for a moment before she was aiming another lightning bolt in your direction. 

“Y/N enough!” Jungkook said, looking back at you. “I’ll do this for you, okay?”

“No, no please don’t do that,” you begged. 

Maya approached Jungkook, taking the invitation and slamming a blade into his back. With a grunt Jungkook fell to his knees. 

It hurt like a bitch.

But the look on your face was infinitely worse. You looked so sad. 

“Justice for my sister has been served, I will leave you to your coven.”

With that, the witchling limped off, her powers effectively drained just as much as yours. If not more so. The only reason she won is because you were doing the work of two people. 

It didn’t matter now. 

“Jungkook,” you cried, crawling forwards to grab him. 

He was bleeding black blood, it was pouring out of the deep gash from the knife in his back. The banishing magic made it so he couldn’t heal himself. Not even your energy would save him now, not like you had enough of it to spare. 

“It’s okay,” he said softly, looking up at you. “This should be enough,” he huffed. 

“No, I don’t want you to die please,” you said, voice watery and eyes tearing up. 

Jungkook smiled at you. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry-I hate it,” he said, reaching to wipe your tears with his thumb. “I’m not worth crying over.”

“You are to me!” you sobbed. “Jungkook... I lov-”

“Shhh,” he shushed you. “I don’t deserve to hear those words,” he said, laying back. “I couldn’t even use my powers to protect you because of how far I’ve let myself fall... You had to make me a fuckin potion so I could hunt, baby,” he coughed. “Don’t say those words to me, I want to say them back but I can’t...”

You were crying hard enough for your shoulders to shake. “Please Jungkook, I don’t care if you can’t say them. I don’t care,” you promised.

“I do,” he whispered. “I want to say them to you someday. But not yet, save it for then...”

You nodded, barely able to speak anymore. “Don’t go...”

Jungkook breathed out slowly. “I’ll see you... again... Promise...”

With those words, Jungkook’s human frame disintegrated into ash, his clothes left behind in your lap and the blackened blood from his wound staining your hands. You gripped his shirt and cried desperately. You cried until your head ached.

You’d lost... everything.

--

Jungkook woke up in a forest. He wasn’t familiar with this place. 

Was he wrong? Did he not get sent back to Hell? 

“Nope, you didn’t,” a calm tone called from behind him. Jungkook whipped around to see a shorter man with blonde hair looking at him with peaceful features. 

“Who are you?” he asked, stumbling backwards. Where was he? And what was going on?

“I’m Jimin - and to answer those questions stumbling around in that head of yours - we are currently in purgatory,” he said. 

“How-”

“Can I know what you’re thinking?” he asked, finishing Jungkook’s statement. He rolled his eyes.

“Stop that,” he demanded. “I thought I would end up in Hell, why am I in purgatory?”

Jimin sighed deeply. “It’s complicated. But, I’ll explain it the best I can... You are a demon that is being punished by the Knights of Hell for acting in the interest of a human - is that correct? You’re Jungkook?”

“Yes, I am,” Jungkook confirmed. 

“Very well, then I am here to offer you a wish.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “A-A wish?”

Jimin smiled, eyes disappearing as he chuckled. “Yes, a wish. Just one. You were a demon that sacrificed your life for the life of another. We Angels have deemed that you are entitled to a wish for your acts,” he explained. “Choose wisely,” his voice turned serious. 

Jungkook could hardly believe what he was hearing. A wish? For saving you? The woman he wanted to love. He still had this feeling in his chest that he didn't deserve it. He didn’t deserve you. But, maybe he could. If he tried. If he made his wish and found you again, would you take him back? Would you let him love you properly this time?

There was only one way to find out. 

“It seems you’ve thought of a wish?” Jimin said with kind eyes. 

“A life - with her,” Jungkook breathed. “I wish for a life with her.”

“It will be a human life, you won’t have any magical abilities or powers. I can give you enough money to sustain you for a time but nothing longer than a year. From there you are on your own. If you die or are injured before finding her there is nothing I can do about that,” Jimin said. 

Jungkook nodded. “I want a life with her, that is my wish. As long as I can be with her that is all I want.”

“Then that is how it shall be.”

--

How had three years gone by already? 

You asked yourself this as you wiped down a counter at your job in a local cafe. Your coven had exiled you. You were extremely lucky they didn’t kill you. But they’d taken your magic-giving you enough to leave town and never return.

With that you hadn’t looked back. You only looked ahead, the only person you wanted could be out there right now. Right this very second. You only had enough magic left for a few tracking spells, and they’d led you to the countryside. A smaller town, but big enough to hide in if necessary.

You were hoping he was here. Your magic had never steered you wrong before, you just wanted to see him again. 

Was he alright? Did they hurt him in Hell? Was he still a demon or was he able to become human... 

All these thoughts swirled in your head. You cleaned the counter tops and the other tables and helped your boss, Seokjin, lock up for the evening.

“Alrighty,” he said, wiping his hands off and smiling. “You’re free to head home! Felix comes in tomorrow morning so you can take the day off if you want?” he said, a twinkle in his eye.

You tilted your head but nodded regardless. “Alright...”

What an odd one this guy was, but you decided to let it go-just appreciative of the day off tomorrow as you’d been working doubles the last week. 

Seokjin came closer with a smile. His irises flashed a bright neon green for just a moment. You could’ve sworn it happened but somehow you almost doubted your own eyes.

“Go home safely, Y/N, don’t worry about tomorrow here Felix will cover for you,” he said. “Have a good evening.”

With that, he placed his baseball cap on his head and trotted away.

Your mind clicked for a moment but all you could feel was appreciation.

No wonder Seokjin accepted you so quickly.

One exiled witch helps the other...

A small smile was on your face as you made your way back home to your apartment. It was tiny, but it was home and you honestly rather preferred the small space. You’d worked hard to make it cozy and welcoming and-

What the fuck?

The door wasn’t latched. You’d locked and latched that door when you came home. The only other person who had a key is Seokjin which you gave to him for emergencies only and this-

“Baby?”

Your head snapped up at the voice you thought you heard. But when you finally laid eyes on him, it was hard to believe he was actually here.

You looked at him, unable to process that he was actually there. Right there in front of you and you could just reach out and touch him but... the tears started faster.

“What...?” your voice was weak and breathless.

Jungkook stood before you, looking almost as if he’d never left. His hair was still long and curly. He was dressed in decent enough clothes, nothing fancy but he looked strong and well fed. Your heart was trembling in your chest at the mere thought of him coming back to you.

He was a demon, he didn’t have to do anything like this for a simple witch turned human. But here he was, standing inside your apartment.

“Hi...” he trailed off, looking sheepish.

“How did you...?” you asked, slowly moving closer into the apartment and out of the chill of the night. “How did you find me?”

Jungkook shut the door behind you and you turned to fling your arms around his neck. He caught you easily with a shy smile on his face. 

“I’ll always find you,” he said, like in some cheesy romance movie. But it made your heart throb in longing all over again.

“Are you a demon? You don’t feel like a demon-”

Jungkook snorted at your questions, knowing that you still couldn’t quite believe he was here. He held you close by your waist, kissing your temple as you breathed him in. “Baby... I’m not a demon, I’m human, just like you,” he said. 

It couldn’t be possible. You didn’t just hear those words from him. “H-Human?”

He pulled back from your embrace just enough to look into your eyes. “Look, I don’t have any demonic energy,” he said, his eyes deep brown and there was nothing underneath them but warmth. 

Human.

“How?” you asked, reaching forward to touch his face with a shaky hand. He held your hand against his face and leaned into your touch.

“Because I didn’t want to live without you,” he said. “I wound up in purgatory, and Angel granted me a wish due to me sacrificing my life for yours-I wished for... for a life with you, because my time with you-well... I only got a taste of it and I want more, I want more of those days like the ones at my place. I just want to be with you.”

Tears thatched along your lashes as you pulled him closer again.

“Can I say it now?” you whispered against his chest.

Jungkook laughed softly and kissed your head. “I hope to hear it often,” he said, leaning down and pulling you into a sweet kiss. “But wait just a bit longer,” he said, kissing you again.

You were wrapped up into his embrace as he pulled you back towards the couch. You eagerly followed, letting the moment of your reunion fuel this passion boiling in your stomach. 

Jungkook kept kissing you, almost as if he were trying to remember every inch of your lips. His hands trailed down your body, squeezing and moaning softly at the alluring softness. “Fuck... Fuck baby,” he grit out.

A teasing smile made its way onto your face. “Yeah? What do you want, Kook?” you nudged your nose against his. You sat down on the couch and pulled him closer by his pants. 

He sucked his lower lip between his teeth, watching with hazy eyes as you fished his hardening cock out of his pants. “Please baby, suck my cock for me, missed your pretty mouth so much,” he said, running his thumb from your jaw to your throat and pressing gingerly.

Your lips ran over his cock tantalizingly and Jungkook had to swallow to make sure he didn’t cum on your face. He hadn’t been touched since the last time you two were together and having human stamina now made it a little harder to refrain from his eagerness.

But, Jungkook knew what patience meant, so he calmed himself but his cock was heavy and throbbing in your hands.

“Fuck... must hurt to be this hard,” you said, and before he could growl at you to get started you swallowed his cock with practiced ease. You ran your hands up under his shirt and dragged your nails down his lower stomach while you sucked his cock deeper into your throat. 

Jungkook’s hand made it into your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head to pleasure him. He sighed out harshly through his nose and you knew he was enjoying it. If you could smile you would’ve, his little tells were still the same. He smirked down at you, watching as your pretty eyes locked with his.

“Suck it so well baby, always so good for me my angel,” he groaned, voice turning whiny at the end. “Fuck!”

You took his balls in your hand and palmed them gently. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back in his head, breaths coming out short and stilted at your pleasuring him. You pulled off him for a moment to catch your breath. “Love sucking your cock baby, love it so much,” you smiled.

Jungkook laughed a breath out and ran his thumb over your bottom lip. You bit on it gently causing him to smile. “You wet for me?” he asked, his eyes sparkling. 

You dropped his cock and quickly pulled your pants off as you sat on the couch. Jungkook mirrored your actions, taking his clothes off as you laid yourself on the couch with your knees up, hiding the place he wanted the most right now.

Now, Jungkook wasn’t above begging. In fact, he rather enjoyed it from time to time. He crawled to you, naked and smiling. His hands wound around your calves and squeezed them gently before placing kisses along your shins and ankles. 

“Please baby,” he said, lips trailing along your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Please open your legs?” he asked, voice sweet and pleading. “Gonna let me eat this pussy? Want my tongue on you?”

You smiled and pulled him in for a kiss while opening your legs so he could touch. He kissed you passionately before leaving tender smooches along the soft swells of your skin. Your breasts first, capturing a nipple between his sinfully sweet lips as his hand trailed to your dripping pussy. He let out a desperate breath against your chest when he pushed a finger inside your heat. “Fuck, fuck baby your pussy-fuck,” he said, moving from your chest to your core with deft movements.

Jungkook looked at your core swallowing his fingers and you couldn’t help the mewls falling from your lips. “B-Baby!” you whined softly, running your hand through his hair. 

“Yeah,” he breathed against your core. His eyes flicked up to yours and they swirled with hunger. “What is it baby?”

You swallowed hard, biting your lip. “Eat me baby? Please, so needy for you,” you begged. 

One of your favorite things about sex with Jungkook was he could be in charge one moment, then the next second you could take it from him. It made the intimacy between the two of you spontaneous and alluring. Jungkook knew you just as well as you knew him and that was exciting. It made you cry for him, begging for the pleasure and bliss you knew only he could give you.

“Alright angel, lean back and let me make you cum,” he said, pulling you closer by your thighs so he could eat your pussy the way he wanted. He placed several warm kisses along your inner thighs before running his tongue through your folds with a fat lick to your clit. You cried softly for him to continue, which he did.

Jungkook made each lick on your center hotter than the last, running his tongue over your clit differently each time. Your feet twitched when he sucked on your core with his plush lips. “Fuck, fuck-Jungkook!” you whimpered, pulling his hair back and away from his face so you could see his flushed face between your thighs. 

“Taste so good baby,” he moaned, smiling before licking into your cunt once more. 

“K-Koo,” you said. “Please baby, wanna cum,” you moaned sweetly.

His chest throbbed at the sound of your pleased noises. He really wasn’t sure if what he felt with you before was love, but now? Now he knew it wasn’t, because the feeling in his chest... the one taking home in his heart right now was absolutely love. 

“I’ll get you there baby,” he promised, sucking your clit into his mouth. He pushed two fingers inside you this time, making your stomach clench in bliss. 

“Yeah~ Right there Kook, right there baby please!”

He worked you up further and further, pushing his fingers along with his tongue to create a tension in your belly that had you fit to burst. But just as you would feel yourself cresting to that perfect orgasm waiting for you, he’d slow down or remove his mouth from you entirely.

After the third time you cried at him for it.

“Koo! Baby, please-lemme cum, wan’ it,” you begged, your hairline was sweaty and Jungkook smiled at your desperate sounding voice.

“Tell me one thing baby, then I’ll let you cum,” he said, working you up for the fourth time.

“Anything baby, anything you want.” Your weak tone made him smirk.

“Tell me you love me baby, say you love me and I’ll make you cum,” he said, moving over you to kiss your lips while his fingers still played between your legs.

Your heart stammered in your chest at his request. But it was an easy smile that made it to your face as you answered him after your kiss. “I love you,” you murmured, kissing him with those beautiful words fresh from your lips.

He wanted to kiss those words, he wanted to kiss you and tell you the same... “Baby, Y/N,” he breathed, capturing your lips in a reverent kiss. “I love you,” he said. 

Jungkook was stunned at how simple it was to say, and yet it made his heart quake. “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated.

“Jungkook,” you gasped when he pulled his fingers from you to put them in your mouth. You cleaned them as he seemed to want and he moaned with the need to be inside you. Although you were just as eager. Your hand reached down to pump his woefully neglected cock. Jungkook moaned against your temple, hips rutting slightly at the stimulation.

“Want me to put it in now?” he asked, voice breathless.

“Yes,” you whined. 

Jungkook didn’t make you wait, taking his cock and lining it up with your soaking pussy. He gave you a look and you just nodded, giving him your consent and with that he pushed inside slowly. You both moaned in pleasure. “Fuck... fuck you’re so wet,” he panted. 

“Jungkook!” you cried out. He kissed you desperately then, his mouth searching and hot against your own. 

“M’right here baby, always gonna be right here,” he said, voice tender against your skin.

You mewled at his gentle thrusts to open you up. It was so much and yet not enough. “More,” you pleaded with him, hands finding his back.

A sharper thrust made your eyes roll back. “Right there?” he asked, eyes wild and chest heaving. He’d been holding off really well but now that he was inside of your pussy it was game over. He loved being inside of you like this far too much. “Baby your pussy feels so good. Fuck, fuck please,” he gasped.

You smiled at his frantic features. He didn’t want to cum without you. It was sweet, but he really didn’t need to worry. You had almost cum just from him putting it in. 

“Jungkook, c-close,” you said, eyes watery and pretty in the evening light.

He nodded. “I’m right there too,” he whispered, thrusting harder and harder into you. It had you seeing stars. He kissed you, sucking on your lips and tangling your tongues together. “Yes, yes, fuck...”

The tightening in your stomach was finally on the verge of snapping once more. Jungkook was whispering sweet words into your ears as he pounded you against your couch. “Fuck-fuck!” you sobbed, arms wrapped around his neck as he covered your body. 

You felt a heat in your belly as your orgasm rushed through your body in deep pulses. Jungkook was stunned as you creamed his cock, pulling him along shortly into his own climax as he painted your walls white with his release.

He groaned your name against your neck, shivering and gently coaxing the pair of you through your two highs. You turned your head to kiss him, smiling softly. 

“Holy shit,” he laughed, looking at you with a dizzying smile. “Give me a second baby, your pussy almost killed me.”

You snorted at him, kissing him once more regardless. “I missed you,” you said tenderly, pulling him closer. Even as his cock softened inside of you.

Jungkook kissed you back, cradling your head as he pulled out. His eyes met yours and he gave a sweet smile. “I missed you too, but I’ll be here from now on... I’m yours, if you want me.”

“I’ve always wanted you, Jungkook,” you said, kissing his jaw and relishing in the afterglow that was settling into your warm body.

“Keep me then,” he said with a smile.

Coming home from a day of work, Yoongi closes the door behind him and sighs. It was a good day; he won a race and looks forward to celebrating it with just you. Removing his shirt, he dumps it in the laundry bin before going to the bedroom.

Finding you lying in bed, he watches as you glance away from the tv at him, a smile forming on your face.

“You did amazing today babe,” you say, still managing to look beautiful in an oversized sweater and underwear.

“It was nothing really,” Yoongi replies, trying to be nonchalant as he lies down next to you, feeling the tiredness set in. You roll over, sitting on his lap and look down at him, noting his long and beautiful hair he’s been growing.

“Really, I’m proud. You really deserve something special.”

“Really? What do you have in mind exactly?”

You smirk.

“I can top.”

He looks up at you, stunned.

“Really?! You’d do that?!”

“You seem awfully eager,” you say, gently grinding into him. Yoongi sharply sucks his breath.

“It’s just that… That’s one of my fantasies about us… That’s all.”

“Then let me fulfill your every desire.”

Yoongi eagerly nods and you grind into him again. As you grind, you feel his member grow against you, making you feel wet. Bending down, you suck at his neck, your chest pressing against his. He whimpers as you suck, your lips trailing down to his collarbone, his shoulders, his chest. Your lips mark him up as you grind as you admire his every inch. With one hand gripping your ass, Yoongi’s other hand trails to the back of your scalp, gently tugging at your hair while he mutters a few encouraging words.

Reaching his nipple, you plop your lips on it, sucking harshly. Yoongi whimpers as you suck, biting his lips. His pants feel tight but he can’t get enough as you lick across and nibble against him. Each time his cock grazes your core, you get increasingly wet and needy. You nibble into him, tongue grazing his skin before sucking harshly.

Popping your mouth off of his nipple, your lips trait back up his chest and neck. Reaching his lips, you passionately kiss him. As his lips move against yours, you pry your tongue against his lips, opening them up. Your body buzzes as your tongue traces his mouth and his yours. Once you’re out of breath, you pull away, panting.

“Y/N, please,” he softly begs, giving you irresistibly big eyes. “I want you.”

Sliding down, you undo his pants. Sliding it off, you take his boxers with his, revealing his erect cock. His size is impressive, making you eye him with anticipation. You quickly slide your hoodie and panties off, excited.

Climbing on top of Yoongi, you straddle yourself over his cock. Placing one hand on his toned abs, you grab his member, placing it at your entrance, slowly drop down. You guide it as Yoongi enters you. As you adjust to his girth, Yoongi watches and groans as he sees your pussy fill up with his cock. It is bulging and it is so attractive. Finally, he is fully inside you, his girth bulging out. You put your hand over it, feeling him inside you. You rub it, smiling.

“I want you to put your seed here,” you say. “Fill me up. I want to see my belly full with our fruit.”

The thought of you carrying his child makes Yoongi groan your name. He wants it too, placing his hand over yours. Though there is also something else he wants right now.

“Y/N,” he whimpers. “I want you… I want you to bind me.”

“Huh? How so?”

“M-my wrists… Above my head with the belt.”

You smile. How could you deny such a request? Grabbing his belt from off the drawer, you bind Yoongi’s wrists above him on the headrest. He looks up at you with big, hungry eyes, craving to be undone by you.

Placing your hands on his abs, you admire his toned build beneath your palms for a moment. But only for a moment. You lift up before gliding back down, thrusting at a slow and steady pace. Pleasure shoots through Yoongi, feeling your walls suck around him.

You groan as you gently thrust, slowly becoming needy for more. Picking up the pace, you begin to bounce on his cock. The bed creaks as his member prods your g-spot. You moan at this, pleasure shooting through you. Slamming your hips down, you ram him deep into you again and again.

Yoongi moans, watching as your hips snap up and down.

“Good girl,” Yoongi groans out. “Fuck.”

You smile, slowing your pace and grinding into his cock. You rock your hips back and forth, then swiftly do a circular motion. His cock prods different places, making you both moan. Bending down, you do a long stride up his chest, lips trailing all over once again.

Lifting your hips, you thrust down again. Picking up the thrusts, you bend and bite down his shoulder. You grunt as his cock rams into your g-spot, your teeth nearly breaking skin. But Yoongi likes the pain, groaning from it. Your tits bounce against his chest as you ram down on him, drawing Yoongi’s eyes. You don’t notice this at first, but as you sit up, you catch his eyes following them.

“You like them?” you ask, groping your breasts, feeling your climax nearing.

Without him having to voice his desires, you bend back down, hovering your chest over his face. Tongue technology coming into full swing, he licks at your chest, tongue striding alone towards your tit. Yoongi plops his mouth on it, sucking against your skin. His teeth nibble and twist, tongue following suit with a long lick. Yoongi repeats this process, suck, nibble, lick. Suck, nibble, lick.

Before you know it, you’re cumming all over him, moaning as you do. Sucking your tit harshly, Yoongi gently thrusts into you, riding you through it.

But you surely aren’t done yet. He still needs to cum.

“Remove your mouth,” you demand after regaining yourself.

He complies and you place your hand gently on Yoongi’s throat. Softly pressing, you slowly start to grind against him. You still feel sensitive, but you soon start to feel needy all over again, causing you to grind more aggressively against him.

In ecstasy, Yoongi makes the most lewd facial expressions, all the while your fingers are around his neck.

“Fuck, you look so hot right now,” you say. “You’re being so good, ah, fuck.”

You start thrusting, bed creaking at the force. Yoongi softly moans, wrists in slight pain from the bondage. Your hand feels so good on his neck, only bringing him closer to his own climax. You sense this, wanting to ride this out a bit longer.

Bending down against him, you remove your hand from his neck, sliding it under the back of his neck and through his luscious hair. Gently gripping his scalp, you pull his head back. You place your lips against his bare neck, hips bouncing on his cock. It hits your cervix as you suck against him, moaning as it does. You nibble against his skin before tugging his head back again, placing your lips above his Adam's apple and sucking harshly.

Feeling your second climax nearing and sensing Yoongi’s is coming soon, you pick up your thrusts, sucking harshly on Yoongi’s neck as you grip his hair. Yoongi’s moans start picking up and you thrust harder and faster, moaning against his neck as yours nears too.

“Fuck!” Yoongi exclaims, cumming into you. You ram down onto him, his cock going straight to your cervix as he cums.

You roughly grind against him and moments later you cum again. You remove your lips off his neck, panting as your orgasm passes. Reaching up, you undo the belt around his wrists, throwing it to the side once you're done.

Sitting up, you take his hand, placing it over your cum filled pussy, his cock still inside.

“God, that’s so hot,” Yoongi mutters. “You’re so damn beautiful, fuck.”

You let your hands remain there for a moment, hoping for a little bundle of joy to be there soon enough. Once you remove your hands, you slide off, plopping down next to Yoongi, feeling the cum dripping out of you.

Yoongi cuddles up next to you, eagerly placing his hand over your stomach.

“Fuck, I want this so much,” he says lowly.

You place yours over his, intertwining your fingers.

But not for long.

“How could you say no?”

You’re quiet, not in the habit of responding to questions he should already know the answer to. And he does know.

“My family was watching. My dad, my mom. Your family, even your boss. How could you say no,” he asks. No, he’s demanding it — you can hear him demand you go back in, say it was all a joke, to say yes this time.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

It’s a whisper. A knock on his door, to see if he’ll open it. He should be saying sorry to you. Not the other way around.

But he’s not home.

“Five years. We’ve been together for five years…”

Your hand tightens. “And yet you don’t know me at all,” you reply through gritted teeth, turning around to meet him with ice in your eyes, your resolve frozen in place.

And he disappears.

Suddenly you don’t know him anymore.

And you’re seven years old asking why daddy was packing a suitcase for himself.

“He’s going on a trip, sweetie.”

But a trip would mean he was coming back.

Taehyung knew.

He knew all of it.

And yet.

The embers in his eyes flicker. When you see him, actually see him, he is burning red. A raging fire.

But fire and ice both burn.

“Let’s end it.”

“What? You… you want to break up?”

You just nod, gaze falling to the dried leaf dancing across the pavement.

“What am I supposed to tell…,” he starts with a quiet fervour, kerosene dripping as he watches your life together start to singe at the edges. A pause before his voice firms. “You’re not breaking up with me.” You’re met with full flames when you look at him. He wants to melt your resolve, you can see it.

But what is a campfire to an iceberg.

“Let’s not kid ourselves anymore, Tae.”

You hear his breath hitch. You see the flicker go out. And you know he wishes more than anything you would hold his hand and say it’s ok.

“You’re really breaking up with me?”

“Yes.”

You rub your arms and wonder why the cold suddenly bothers you when it never did before. He walks towards you as he takes off his sweater. And warmth spreads when the flannel touches your bare skin.

“You know I love you, right?” He says it with a quiver and you wish you could take it back. Take all of it back.

“I know.”

“Isn’t that enough?”

Up close, his eyes aren’t embers. They are pools of longing so warm you feel your ice start to melt.

“It is enough. For me, your love was always enough.” Before he can ask the question, you answer it. “But I am not enough for you. And I never will be.”

“How can you say that? Of course you are enough,” he replies, and a tear falls, though you can’t tell whose.

“I’m not. You… you need more. You need what I can never give you.”

“No I don’t. I don’t need marriage. I don’t need anything else. Just you.” He reaches for your hand and you squeeze it back. But even you can see he is scrambling now, trying to grab onto a life raft before the sea takes him away.

You inhale deeply, steadying your voice just enough to continue. “You need a bride, Taehyung. You need a family. You need to be a dad. I know you.”

A deep sigh is his response.

And it’s quiet while you watch him contemplate your words. He knows you’re right. And he knows you can never give him those things.

You decided long ago that you will never marry nor have kids. And you won’t renege, not even for him.

Because a kid isn’t some achievement to unlock, some milestone you reach, some heirloom to pass down. And you don’t have the heart to bear the burden of ruining another life. For love always leaves scars.

When he finally looks up at you, his eyes are red. “Maybe you’ll change your mind. What if someday you want kids?” His eyes glisten and you wish you could dive in and mend the crackling glass of his heart.

He must have noticed something in your expression because he smiles and your guilty lips smile back.

It’s a lifeline. He can see it. He’s calling out to you now. He’s holding your eyes like he holds your heart. Close. And you can feel him grabbing onto the inch sticking out of your grave.

Then you realize this is how it’s always been. Him pushing while you pull away, only to come back to him. To take another step towards him. Maybe he isn’t the only one who should apologize.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung,” you say, and you feel his grip loosen. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“Wasting my time?”

“I let you fall in love with me knowing I could never—”

“I didn’t fall,” he interjects, cupping your face in his hands, looking into your eyes so you know he means it, “I stepped into love with my eyes wide open.” His hand falls to yours again and you can feel the ice encircling you start to thaw. “I chose to love you. I love you, not some family you can give me. You are my family.”

A tear rolls down and you know it’s yours this time. He wipes it away before continuing. “Thank you for loving me back.”

You do love him. More than life itself. And that’s why you have to do this.

Because he will hold onto that inch forever.

You have to let go first.

“I’m sorry,” you reply, eyes so misty you can barely make him out. “I wish it could have been different.” Letting go of his hand, you wipe away the last of your tears, at least until you can get on the train home.

With a single kiss pressed to your lips, he rises. “I’ll tell our family and friends to go home.”

Our.

A word you’ll never say again.

You smile weakly and he adds, “You don’t need a ride, do you?” He nods towards his gold chevy and when you shake your head, he starts walking away. Then he stops, turning around with a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”

You nod, wiping away another tear as you watch him walk away. Crestfallen, but still the man you fell in love with. To the very end.

“Keep going… keep going, please… Holy fucking shit.”

You’re practically grinding against Taehyung’s face as you cry out his name. His long fingers thrust into you, rubbing your g-spot on every stroke like they’re on a mission, which you suppose they are. He loves it when you’re a mess just for him. Instant ego boost.

He loves it when you make a mess for him too.

And it’s always especially good after he wraps up a show, pumped with so much adrenaline that he has to release some of that energy and you’re the perfect person to help him out. That’s what happened tonight, just fifteen minutes ago or so. You couldn’t even make it through a simple Hey before he was taking you by the hand and dragging you to his dressing room, the one-syllable word dying in your throat while the rest of the boys groaned exasperatedly behind you. They’re used to it at this point, but that doesn’t mean they’ll ever stop teasing you.

Taehyung glances up at you, smirking proudly when he finds your features contorted in pure pleasure. His tongue joins in on the fun, finding your clit instantly as it teases the bud. The pleasure spiking makes a desperate moan fall out of your mouth, one of your hands tugging on his mop of fluffy dark hair while the other grips a nearby cushion on the couch.

Your boyfriend has a bit of an oral fixation.

“Like it?” he asks, slender fingers never relenting. He takes pride in the way the room is filled with your needy voice and the audible wetness that’s like music to his ears as he scissors you open.

“Love it,” you answer breathlessly, even though you didn’t really have to answer. He knows it all too well, knows your body better than the palm of his hand. “Don’t stop, Tae, please… I’m close…”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He sucks your clit into his mouth, then relishes in the subsequent groan as you buck your hips into his face, sounding like you’re actually about to break down in tears from how good it feels. Taehyung presses his fingers harder against the spot that makes you see stars, curling the digit repeatedly all the while his lips kiss your pussy sloppily. He hears someone knock on the door exasperatedly, but it’s quickly drowned out by your moans, getting higher-pitched by the second. Almost there.

You start to clench around him as he fucks you faster and with determination. Your walls suck his fingers in, so warm and wet that the glide is smooth, absolutely no resistance at all. He hums in approval, already thinking of all the ways he’d like to ruin you when he takes you home later.

“Tae,” you pant heavily, your brain effectively turned into mush by how his talented mouth, “I- ah, fuck, I’m gonna come, fuck-”

On either side of his head, your thighs shake as you gush into his mouth, coming with a sharp cry that makes his cock harden almost painfully in his tight leather pants. Your velvet walls convulse around his fingers as he helps you ride out your high. Taehyung happily laps up your juices, licking you until you have to push him away when you feel the onset of oversensitivity.

He crawls his way up your body, grinning like the Cheshire cat. His face is messy, lips glistening with traces of your orgasm, looking so irresistible. When you kiss him, you can taste yourself on the tip of his tongue. You love it, every single time.

“Let’s go home,” Taehyung says. “Wanna do all kinds of bad things to you.”

You nod eagerly, a teasing comment about to be whispered into his ear before you’re interrupted by Jimin on the other side of the door, talking to someone whose voice you can’t decipher.

“I don’t want to share a dressing room with him anymore.”

"That air conditioner was still $300 even with the discount," Namjoon points out. "Besides, it's a rare hot day where we live. We just need to tough it out for two more days and then it will be cooler again. It would just take up unnecessary space! Plus, who knows how much that thing would add to our gas bill?”

Damn him and his logic. It was great most of the time, but for this particular hot evening, you hated it.

“They make one of those energy-saver models. We shouldn’t have to suffer like this,” you pout.

“Baby, we need to lower our carbon footprint. This excessive heat is an effect of climate change,” he opines, rolling over to wrap his arm around your waist. The warmth radiating from his skin makes you recoil.

"Ugh, you’re too hot." You swat his hand away, unable to tolerate his current body temperature. Snuggling up to him was great in the winter but during the summer? Not so much.

Feeling rejected, he gets up to head toward the bathroom. “That’s it! I’m taking a cold shower.” 

“Again?” He’d already taken three today. “What happened to lowering our carbon footprint?”

“It’s just a quick one. Besides, do you have better ideas to cool off?”

You didn’t.

While Namjoon takes a shower, you suddenly notice your shirt and sleep shorts becoming stickier by the second. In a moment of desperation, you get up to open the windows wider, hoping to increase air circulation in the room. Afterward, you return to bed, strip down to your panties, and flop onto your stomach.

Namjoon shuffles out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Then, you feel the mattress dip and his hand landing on your ass cheek with a smack. 

“Woah–what–”

Your head whips around to find a look of hunger in his eyes. “Were you trying to surprise me?”

“Chill,” you reply with a laugh. “It was just too hot. I had to get rid of some layers.”

“Mm-hm,” he hums skeptically. “You should sleep naked more often.” He continues to squeeze your flesh, his voice husky.

You snort. “Doubtful. You know how much I love my pajamas! Besides, sleeping naked is your thing.”

"I know, but this is an unexpected treat," he purrs. He starts kissing the small of your back and then moves up your spine. The feel of his lips on your skin instinctively turns you on, but if there was anything that made you feel un-sexy, it was heat and humidity.

Namjoon didn’t care. The way he touched and kissed your body, he only had one thing in his mind and he was determined to make it happen.

You sigh, turning to face him. “You know I don’t like having sex in this weather.”

He stares at you with deep, dark eyes, already blown out from arousal. “But you don’t even need to do anything. Just lay there and I’ll do all the work,” he offers. “Please?”

In this heat, excessive movement would only make you more hot and sweaty than you already were.

As for his generous offer to pleasure you without the expectation of reciprocation, how could you refuse? The idea of being a pillow princess for the night was enticing. You nod and acquiesce. “Fine. Continue.”

Grinning, he dips down to kiss you. You kiss him back, sliding your tongue along his, savoring him. He moves to place a trail of kisses down your neck and onto your chest, pausing to flick each hard nipple with his tongue.

You’re nearly lost in the moment when you feel him strip your panties off, his mouth watering to taste you. You put your hands over to block him, attempting to cover up.

“No, I’m all gross down there,” you protest.

Now it was his turn to swat your hands away. “I don’t care. I want you like this.”

He lowers his head before you can say another word. With one broad lick, your back arches off the mattress with a gasp. Weather aside, your body can’t help it. He knew how to make you feel good.

The moans and sounds of satisfaction he hums against your flesh make you writhe against his mouth uncontrollably. He flits his tongue over in slow, rhythmic motions. Once your breaths grow ragged, he rubs the pad of his thumb over your clit in rapid circles, making you cum with a harsh cry.

He kisses your inner thigh before rising to capture your lips. You could taste traces of your arousal on him, but he didn't stop there. His fingers delve right back into your cleft, stroking over your clit and skimming the opening. As you groan with your lips pressed to his, you greedily grind your hips in response.

“Want more?” He mumbles against your lips.

“Yes,” you breathe out.

Smirking, he fingers you leisurely, building your need. You shudder as he cups you in his hand, his middle and forefinger sliding lazily into you. His palm rubs against your clit, his fingertips stroking over sensitive tissues above.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he rasps.

Whatever he was doing felt inadequate to you now. You needed to feel all of him. “Joon, please,” you beg.

“Please, what?” He teases.

“I want you now.” You reach between you and palm him through his boxers.

“Do you? I thought you hated fucking in the heat.”

You let out a low growl. "I know what I said! I just...please." You curl your fingers around him, giving him a nice squeeze, hoping he'll submit. He bites down on his lower lip, stifling a moan.

In retaliation, he applies gentle pressure to the roof of your core, causing it to swell and inching you closer to the edge.

“Tell me what you want.”

It took you a moment to come back to your senses before uttering, “I want to ride you.”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. Yes, you didn’t want to be all sweaty but you were turned on to the point of no return. 

“You sure? I don’t mind doing all the work.” He continues to tease that same bundle of flesh in you that he’s so intimately familiar with. You clench your insides in response, not wanting to cum just yet.

You slip your hand past his waistband, thumbing the precum beading on the tip. You needed him inside you, but you wanted to be in control.

“Mm, no. I want to be on top.” You tilt your head up and tug at his lip with your teeth.

He laughs low and huskily. “Whatever my lady wants...”

The moment he pulls away to sit up against the headboard, you spring up and pull his boxers off. You reach for his cock, gripping him firmly, pumping him from root to tip. He tilts his head, eyes rolling back in a groan.

You knew his body well, too; knew what he needed and desired. While you straddle him, he catches your hips and looks up at you.

“Ride me hard, yeah?”

The air in the room was thick and you’d be dripping in sweat by the time you were done with him. Still, your core clenches reflexively at the challenge.

He releases you, spreading his arms wide to grip the sides of the headboard. His biceps bulged with the pose. Seeing his bare chest glistening with sweat, his abdomen tightening in anticipation–it turned you on wildly.

You reach over to the side of his head for balance and wrap your free hand around his cock. A muscle in his neck twitches as you rub the tip against your folds, back and forth, coating him with your slick.

You let the first inch push in, letting it stretch you before slowly bearing down, drawing out a moan as you feel him so deep in you.

“Fuck,” he bit out, shuddering once you take him to the hilt.

You lift again, slowly, making you both feel every nuance of that mind-numbing friction. Then, you slam back down, the fullness, the connection, was too delicious to contain. He shifts restlessly, his hips moving in a tight circle, wanting to feel more of you.

“You feel so good,” you whisper, stroking his cock with your aching cunt. Sliding up and down his length.

“That’s the spot, baby. Make me cum,” he bit out, his knuckles white from his grip on the headboard. You wondered if he was just holding on or physically restraining himself from reaching for you.

Your hands snake up to your chest, cupping your tits and tugging on your nipples to egg him on.

“Gimme,” he demands softly, his mouth hanging open, beckoning you to lean closer. You oblige and watch as his cheeks hollow in suction. His teeth graze your nipple, making your insides clench more tightly around him.

You drop your hips again, putting the weight of your body behind it, surging through with a groan. You loved the feel of him.  His breath puffs out of his lungs with every plunge. You were hot, he was sweltering. Together, you were both radiating heat like a furnace. Up…down…up…down. Your thighs, ass, stomach, and core tightening, burning with every lift, squeezing him from root to tip.

You fucked him with everything you had. His breaths hissing out through clenched teeth once your ass claps against his thighs.

Unable to hold back any longer, he releases his grip on the bed. He grabs you by the waist and restrains your movements, holding himself deep.

He squints his eyes at you. “My turn.”

“Yes,” you gasped, wound up tight with anticipation.

His cock pushes into you. You whimper, your entire body thrumming with excitement. He held your hands down, his thighs between yours, keeping you spread wide so he could sink deep. Over and over. His thrusts were unfaltering, determined.

His jaw clenches, brows furrowing as he inches closer to his climax.

“Harder, Namjoon,” you choke out.

You hold onto him for dear life while he pounds relentlessly into you. You hear his breath catch on every muffled groan while he fucks into you.

“Yes, yes, yes…” You sob helplessly with every slam of his hips.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cum—ahh…” He presses his forehead against yours before finishing his sentence. A long, deep growl rumbles from him as his hips jerk, gasping your name.

His spurting triggers the hypersensitive nerves in you. Next thing you know, your body shivers from another intense orgasm. You let out a long, drawn-out sigh, feeling relief flow out of you.

You collapse in his arms, your flushed cheeks resting on his shoulder. You were both panting and covered in sweat. 

He lifts you gingerly off him, setting you onto the mattress. You lift your head lazily and turn to him. You reach out blindly, suddenly feeling how damp the sheets were beneath you.

“Shit, did we sweat that much?” You sit up to inspect the damage.

“Yes. And you also squirted all over me,” he laughs.

Your hand flies up to your mouth in surprise. “Oh my god, I did? For real?”

He nods, still laughing. “Yeah. I felt it gush out of you.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was fucking hot,” he replies enthusiastically. He reaches for his boxers and moves toward you to clean you up.

You wave him off. “Nah, it’s useless. I’m going to hop in the shower.”

You roll out of bed and walk to to the bathroom in shaky legs. When you stop to grab a towel from the linen closet, you notice him following behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I thought the shower was an invitation,” he smiles michievously.

“Don’t,” you warn, giving him a stern look. Eventually, a laugh slips out.

“I can keep my hands to myself.” He says innocently. “Besides, we’re in a drought. We need to conserve water.”

You roll your eyes at this practicality and shake your head. “You and your water and energy conservation.”

“Hey, if it wasn’t for me not buying that air conditioner, we wouldn’t have had mind-blowing sex tonight…and you wouldn’t have squirted like that,” he chuckles.

Touché.

But instead of giving him the satisfaction, you glower playfully at him and smack him on his bare ass, making him howl in laughter.

Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

The cold was biting into Jungkook’s cheeks as he walked through the streets of his hometown - of their hometown. Memories filled his mind; memories of their times at school, of rushing in between classes, of a warm bed in the chillest of days, of a person who knew him better than himself. Old habits also filled his body; staying in his bed at his parents’ house half the day, a luxury he could not afford anymore.

His feet led him there as he was immersed in recollections. No matter which route he took; his feet, his heart, and his mind always ended up leading Jungkook to Jimin. As he looked through the large fogged up window at the front of the cafe, an ache filled his heart as his eyes met his melancholic gaze. Jungkook took a deep breath and opened the door, each step forward piercing his heart - though not as much as he pierced his heart when he left town and all Jimin did was watch him.

There was no need to state his order. Jimin already had his perfect coffee waiting for him on the counter, as if their souls were connected and he knew Jungkook would make his presence in his father’s cafe that early afternoon. There was no need to fake a smile, to pretend his heart was not painfully beating against his ribcage. This time, though, it was Jimin who spoke first.

“If it is the same to you, it is the same to me.”

There was no need for any other words. He did not know for how much longer Jimin would agree to just… be for the weekend. So he sat and waited for Jimin’s shift to end, ignoring people’s stares as they left together to ride around before going to the warmest bed with an even warmer body. A soft and low babe escaping Jimin’s lips was everything Jungkook wanted to hear this damn season before going back to his life in the capital, before the haze was broken by the same two sentences every time.

“Don’t ask me to stay.”

“Then don’t ask me to wait.”

When they looked at the clock on the phone, they noticed they had lost track of time yet again that evening. Yoongi’s legs were over Namjoon’s, both sitting on the floor at the younger’s studio. They clinked cheap glasses with expensive whiskey, scarlet cheeks under low lights, their most recent finished pieces playing over the speakers. This was something that they had not done in a while; the rush of producing for other people, traveling around, the tour of a solo project, busy visiting parents.

All excuses not to do this. All excuses not to feel this intimacy again after the last time, after the uncertainty and lack of communication. 

That last time, when Namjoon dropped his glass and it stained Yoongi’s white t-shirt. When the moment of rushing with a napkin turned into the rushing of lips pressing into a deep and longful kiss. When there were blushing body parts being discovered for the first time in all these years of knowing each other. When they woke up together the following day, both memories and clothes strewn about the place. When they did not talk afterward. When there were gazes avoided in the hallway. When they lost sight of each other - and their friendship - for a while.