shampoo doesn't expire, baby!

as someone who grew up in an interfaith family it’s time to take a stance on christmas/hannukah cards. the best ones are for sure the ones where santa is gay married to a hasidic man

“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive

to increase steel production 300%

☝️

i gave an 8 year old trick or treater a delta 8 gummy and he called me a pussy that ‘doesn’t even have real weed’

I think I’ve said this before but people really underestimate how many mexicans are emo or punk.

people are mentioning the “mexican emo wars” in the tags, and yeah. real thing that happened I shit you not

wouldn't you like to know, brunch boy? you sandwich-eating so-and-so.

won 15 spider points by taking a spider out of the house and letting it outside. that i can cash in for rewards and prizes at the spider points store

you want your city to be walkable and bikeable? what's next? suckable? fuckable?