me: intently watching hosea get onto the ground to sleep
what makes me happy is knowing that hosea sleeps in the same position i do. on his belly with that one leg hiked up for optimal comfort with an arm under his head
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me: intently watching hosea get onto the ground to sleep
what makes me happy is knowing that hosea sleeps in the same position i do. on his belly with that one leg hiked up for optimal comfort with an arm under his head

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based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!
â  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  â â  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but iâm made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  â â  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  â â  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  â â  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  â â  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  â â  donât you dare abandon me.  â â  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  â â  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  â â  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  â â  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i canât stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why canât i ever stop?  â â  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  â â  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  â â  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  â â  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  â â  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  â â  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  â â  i am fucking divine.  â â  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  â â  i am not a good person.  donât pretend i am.  â â  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  â â  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  â â  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  â â  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  â â  i bow to no man.  â â  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  iâm sorry.  â â  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  â â  i cannot be saved.  â â  i canât ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  â â  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  â â  i crave affection in the simplest way.  â â  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  â â  i didnât ask for any of this so donât you dare blame this on me.  â â  i donât care if you say my name like itâs poison or like itâs a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  â â  i donât fight for you anymore.  â â  i donât want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  â â  i donât want to talk about it.  i donât want to remember.  i donât want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  â â  i donât want you to touch me.  please donât touch me,  just go away.  â â  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  â â  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  â â  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  â â  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  â â  i have no home anymore.  â â  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  â â  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  â â  i should never have fallen in love with you.  â â  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know itâs because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  â â  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  â â  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  â â  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  â â  if thatâs what a hero is iâm glad iâm not one anymore.  â â  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  itâs all for you.  â â  is it my fault?  itâs my fault.  itâs always my fault.  â â  itâs not murder if they deserved it,  right?  â â  iâm drowning in emotions that donât belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  â â  iâm in love with everything that hurts me.  â â  iâm okay.  iâm alright.  this is all in my mind.  â â  iâm ready to give up everything iâve ever had if it means someone will love me.  â â  iâm so cold  &  i canât stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  â â  iâm so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  â â  iâm tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  â â  iâm tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  â â  iâm too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  iâm sure someday iâll realize i deserved it.  â â  jealousy burns within me.  â â  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  â â  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  â â  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  â â  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  â â  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  â â  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  â â  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  â â  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  â â  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  â â  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  â â  rise up.  you canât keep being small when you were made for so much more.  â â  say my name like itâs the only one thatâs ever been on your tongue.  â â  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  â â  so youâll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  â â  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  â â  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  â â  stop treating me like iâm an idiot.  you arenât better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  â â  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  â â  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  â â  to love them is my divine right.  â â  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  â â  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  â â  what is the point of power if iâm not supposed to use it?  â â  who the fuck do you think you are?  â â  why canât i ever fucking stop crying?  â â  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  letâs try to make the most out of it.  â â  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  â â  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  â â  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  â â  you canât hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  â â  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  â â  you never fucking cared about me.  donât fucking lie about it.  not to me.  â â  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  â â  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  â â  you should fear me,  but you donât.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  â â  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  â
finally have time to write and be here again! can expect a smol revamp come tomorrow. big smooches @ all of u
ANYWAY i love 1 man
Walt + smiling (s6) requested by @crazymaryt

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when am i gonna get a dutch
you ever stop and think that maybe hosea was grateful it all stopped suddenly then and there
his face
What I said the other day, you looking like me, that ainât true. You ainât ugly like me, itâs just that we both have got scars. Unforgiven (1992) dir. Clint Eastwood

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The Last Unicorn (1982) starters.
â Â I dislike the feel of these woods. Â â
â Â Unicorns? I thought they only existed in fairytales. Â â
â Â This is a forest like any other. Isnât it ? Â â
â Â Letâs turn around. Hunt somewhere else. Â â
â Â This is no world for you. Â â
â Â Good luck to you, for you are the last. Â â
â Â What do men know ? Â â
â Â We are as old as the sky, old as the moon. Â â
â Â We can be hunted, we can be trapped, we can even be killed but we do not vanish ! Â â
â Â Have you traveled very far ? Â â
â Â Be a little respectful, do you know who I am ? Â â
â Â Your name is a golden bell, hung in my heart. Â â
â Â I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name. Â â
â Â In all your wanderings, have you seen others like me ? Â â
â Â Have you seen the others? Where have they gone? Tell me which way I must go to find them. Â â
â Â No, no, listen ! Donât listen to me, listen ! Â â
â Â You can find the others if you are brave. Â â
â Â What if theyâre waiting for me ? In need of my help ? Â â
â Â Well hello there little one ! Â â
â Â And just who might you belong to ? a pretty little thing like you ? Â â
â Â In my heart I carry such a heavy load. Â â
â Â And here I thought Iâd seen the last of them ! Â â
â Â I know you. If I were blind I would know what you are. Â â
â Â You wouldnât have heard of me. Â â
â Â Itâs not much of a job for a real magician, but Iâve had worse. Â â
â Â Youâre mine. If you kill me, youâre still mine. Â â
â Â Your death sits in that cage and she hears you. Â â
â Â Sheâll kill me one day or another, but she will remember forever that I caught her, that I held her prisoner. So thereâs my immortality. Â â
â Â You were out on the road hunting for your own death ! Â â
â Â Heâll not have you ! You belong to me. Â â
â Â We are two sides of the same magic. Â â
â Â You are safer here. You should thank me for protecting you. Â â
â Â There has never been a spell on me before. Â â
â Â Itâs a very rare person who is taken for what he truly is. Â â
â Â Will you help me ? Â â
â Â Youâre my last chance. Â â
â Â Can you truly set me free ? Â â
â Â I asked him a riddle and it always takes that lout all night to solve riddles. Â â
â Â the spell was wrong but there was true magic in it ! try again. Â â
â Â My dear you deserve the services of a great wizard but Iâm afraid youâll have to be glad of the aide of a second rate pickpocket. Â â
â Â Okay, (name), I give up. Why is a raven like a writing desk ? Â â
â Â Sheâll kill you if you set her free ! Â â
â Â Donât look back, and donât run. Â â
â Â You must never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention. Â â
â Â She chose her death long ago. It was the fate she wanted. Â â
â Â You have no regrets as I do ? Â â
â Â Iâve never seen anyone like you. Not while I was awake, anyway. Â â
â Â Iâm going where they are, to learn whatever they know. Â â
â Â Take me with you ! for luck, for laughs, for the unknown. Â â
â Â You could never have granted my true wish. Â â
â Â I cannot turn you into something you are not. Â â
â Â Hide yourself ! Weâll find each other later. Â â
â Â Mind your heads now, itâs raining ninnies ! Â â
â Â Put me down you fool ! Â â
â Â I donât like the look of him. Â â
â Â Thatâs only (name)âs way, but she has a good heart. Â â
â Â This is not happening. Â â
â Â Weâll both be gentlemen of leisure in a months time. Â â
â Â Oh, I love you. Â â
â Â She shall never have you ! Â â
â Â We will perish together. Â â
â Â Did you see me ? Were you watching ? Â â
â Â Did you see what I made ? Â â
â Â Itâs gone now, but I had it ! Â â
â Â Where have you been ? Where have you been ! ? Â â
â Â Where were you when I was new ? Â â
â Â How dare you come to me now when I am this ! Â â
â Â Itâs alright, I forgive you. Â â
â Â You canât come with us ! weâre on a quest ! Â â
â Â Well, youâre going the wrong way. Â â
â Â You have all the power you need if you dare to look for it. Â â
â Â What have you done ! ? Â â
â Â The power will come to me whenever I need it, and one day! One day it will come to me when I call ! Â â
â Â You are an idiot ! Â â
â Â Donât ! Donât you hurt yourself ! Â â
â Â I can feel this body dying all around me ! Â â
â Â You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous. Â â
â Â I will keep nothing near me that does not make me happy. Â â
â Â How would you know ? Â â
â Â Well, just look at you ! Â â
â Â Come on, Iâll write you a reference. Â â
â Â You have let your doom in by the front door ! Â â
â Â What are you looking at ? Â â
â Â What is the matter with your eyes ? Â â
â Â You may come and go as you please. Â â
â Â My secrets guard themselves, may yours do the same. Â â
â Â Please, let me help you. What can I do for you ? Â â
â Â And then she looked at me and I was sorry I had killed the thing. Â â
â Â For her sake Iâve become a hero but my great deeds mean nothing to her ! Â â
â Â I wish to be whatever she has most need of. Â â
â Â You are cruel to him. Â â
â Â He only wishes you to think of him. Â â
â Â Who am I ? Why am I here ? Â â
â Â I knew a moment ago, but I have forgotten. Â â
â Â I was innocent and wise and full of pain. Â â
â Â Now that Iâm a woman, everything has changed. Â â
â Â Why wonât you help me ? Why must you always speak in riddles ? Â â
â Â I would tell you what you want to know if I could. Â â
â Â I am always dreaming, even when I am awake. It is never finished. Â â
â Â I would court you with more grace if I knew how. Â â
â Â Drown out my dreams. Keep me from remembering whatever wants me to remember it. Â â
â Â Words are always getting in my way. Â â
â Â Thatâs all I have to tell you. Thatâs all Iâve got to say. Â â
â Â Iâm not a man of poetry. Music isnât one with me. Â â
â Â As if I didnât have enough troubles. Â â
â Â Well of course youâre of noble birth, anyone could see that. Â â
â Â Love is slowing you down, my lady. Â â
â Â It was pleasant enough at first, but it died quickly. Â â
â Â There is nothing of yours that I desire. Â â
â Â There is no movement of yours that has not betrayed you. Â â
â Â I like to watch them. They fill me with joy. Â â
â Â The first time I felt it, I thought I was going to die. Â â
â Â Do you dare still pretend to be human ? Â â
â Â It makes no difference. The end will be the same. I can wait. Â â
â Â Shut up you pretentious kneecap ! Â â
â Â How would you like a punch in the eye ? Â â
â Â Itâs so nice to have someone to play with. Â â
â Â Try me tomorrow. Maybe Iâll tell you tomorrow. Â â
â Â Give it to me if you donât want it but donât throw it away ! Â â
â Â Give me the wine ! Â â
â Â You would have gone without me ? Â â
â Â No name you could give her would surprise or frighten me. Â â
â Â I love whom I love. Â â
â Â I will go no further. Â â
â Â Everything dies. I want to die when you die. Â â
â Â Yes, that is my wish. Â â
â Â I am a hero, and heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. Â â
â Â A quest may not simply be abandoned. Â â
â Â A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. Â â
â Â What if there isnât a happy ending at all ? Â â
â Â There are no happy endings, because nothing ends. Â â
â Â Do something ! You have the power ! I will kill you if you donât do something ! Â â
â Â Thatâs what heroes are for. Â â
â Â Iâve never had any friends before. Â â
â Â Men donât always know when theyâre happy. Â â
â Â Iâm sorry. I have done you evil and I cannot undo it. Â â
â Â No sorrow will live in me as long as that joy. Â â
â£ïžÂ               SOFT  INTERACTIONS !
send one of these in to see my museâs reaction ( add â +reverseâ for my  muse to do the action to yours ) .
[ crawl ] for your muse to crawl into bed with mine .
[ flower ]  for  your muse to offer my muse their favourite flower .
[ slow dance ]  for  your muse to ask my muse to slow dance .
[ gift ]  for  your muse to surprise my muse with a gift ( & bonus if you add what the fit is ) .
[ homemade gift ]  for  your muse to make my muse a gift   ( & bonus if you add what the fit is ) .
[ serenade ]  for your muse to sing to my muse .
[ embrace ]  for your muse to pull my muse into a tight embrace .
[ caress ]  for your muse to gently run their hand down my museâs face .
[ caught ]  for your muse to catch my muse wearing their shirt .
[ love letter ]  for your muse to give my muse a love letter they wrote for them
[ boop ]  for your muse to boop my muse on the nose .
[ date? ]  for your muse to ask my muse to go on a date .
[ confess ]  for your muse to confess their feelings to my muse .
[ sleepy ]  for your muse to slowly fall alseep on my museâs lap .
and when somebody doesnât lie in this world and you donât lie to them, then together you can achieve great things .
hosea matthews of rdr2, written by kae
âDo you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasnât clever enough, wasnât quick enough, wasnât strong enough, wasnât good enough?â
What do you mean, they hurt you? Where? How? Show me. Tell me. Iâll rip them to pieces.

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when iâm with you the line between âfriendsâ and 'loversâ blurs and i donât care which side i end up on as long as youâll have me.
â â âjackie.â 3:00 am. L.W (via inkwhelmed)