POISONED YOUTH.

Fuck your soft words ; My veins are filled with raging rivers, Not stardust and comet trails. Do not compare me to stars For I am a hurricane, a typhoon And my heart filled with the lightning from a neverending storm. See me not as a fiery beauty for you to admire from afar. See me for the natural disaster I am. Fuck your soft words ; As I am far from soft.

“you are more than your trauma!” stop  i am not more than my trauma my trauma becomes me devours me swallows me empties me i am the cinderella in this story and i have the big bad wolf waiting for me at home i am the panicked bambi who scurries away the huntsman chasing me, telling me to stop stop running, little doe, i’m here to help you the huntsmen is a liar, holding an axe and a smile i am the sleeping snow white who tosses and turns nightmares of a raging beast locking me away, claiming i am nothing that i do not even deserve a home i am every instance of pain in my life i am the words howled at me i am the pain shoved through my chest i am the bruises on my arms and legs stop telling me i’m more than it i am because of my trauma

“The game takes its toll on you,” she whispers to you, long fingers intertwining with yours, the contrast of your hands so stark it almost seems a tragic joke. She, with hands stronger than iron and callouses harder than her weary heart, from holding swords and shields, to take the blows that would have been meant for you. You, with skin hardened by knives slipped under skirts and pulled for the flash of death but still soft to the touch, tips of your fingers calloused by the instruments you once plucked, to accompany the voice you once used to sing. She pauses then, just long enough to press her forehead to yours, to breathe against your lips, to worry, to fret. “I worry about you.” Still you say nothing. She breaks you down, runs you into the ground and you can feel this mask of security slipping, but you clamber to hold onto it, to keep the edges from cracking. You mustn’t let it fall for you would rather feel the bite of a blade between your ribs, pressing into a heart you hope has been steeled through the years, “Are you okay?” No, you’re not okay. You hurt, you bleed. Your heart rips under the steel armour, pouring out and drowning in your pain. But still you smile, leaning up to her again, so lightly brushing your lips upon hers. “Yes.” And so you’ll lie to protect yourself again.

too hard to read too many lines black letters on a white background long lines, small buttons ‘strongly agree’ 'slightly agree’ 'slightly disagree’ 'strongly disagree'  too many lines too many lines too many lines how am i to focus eyes straining, trying to follow the words reread the line reread the line  reread the line it doesn’t make sense 'i prefer animals to humans’ gibberish gibberish gibberish 'i prefer animals to humans’ i don’t understand i don’t understand i don’t understand  'i prefer animals to humans’ what does it mean what does it mean what does it mean repeat repeat repeat eyes straining too bright too dark no in between 'i prefer animals to humans’ it clicks, it clicks once again down the column, back to the top down the column, click the right one  'strongly agree’ now read the next line repeat repeat repeat

mistake her not for a woman; but a dragon for within her heart a fire burns so violently hot it would turn us all to embers she is fire fire fire divine in its creation hellish in her devastation and with the might of her will she will burn us all to the ground kneel before the dragon speak unto her your desires and watch her bow her head and whisper “you would choose me?” for she knows she is a dragon and no one has ever loved a dragon and lived through the scorch of its love

named for the stars bred from his blood with fingers of iron and heart of steel a strength of hers found in watching them kneel a could be life lost in a place among fire named for stars bred of blood run girl run your past will catch up

don't fear your fury, your thrumming heart, how it tears the rocks away, though they remain hellbent in keeping you placate don't fear your fury for you are the sea and the sea itself has the most beautiful rage

running can't ever help you you can't escape the biting winds of disappointment you can't outrace the coldness of their words you can't beat what you already fear boy you know it's true. running can't ever help you but you can be faster than your troubles

i. you're not broken. ii. the winter lives through his bones, and frozen tundras in his veins. you're bred of the same, but within your heart burns the blue flames of a passion that none suspect of you. and your fire spreads and melts away the coldness that touches the tips of your fingers and to his still heart. iii. you love him. iv. you don't doubt that he loves you. he can never say it. but you can feel it in the way he touches your face when you sneak away. you can see it when he tells you to be careful when you come to him. you can hear it in his voice when he whispers your name. you love him. but you never know his name. v. you are not human. vi. you are a clever predator, with sharp teeth and a ribcage of steel. girls like you have sharp teeth. do not forget that, not even when they take him from you. do not forget when they take everything from you. you are a predator, you are made of the hardest steel, and no one should ever underestimate you. vii. he is like you. viii. autumn has come around again, and you have both watched everything that was once yours collapse upon itself and vanish. you have seen regimes fall, he has seen angels fall from their pedestals. together you prepare, with those unspeakable words passing through your lips, truer than all the masks you've ever put on. viiii. "i think i love you." x. your winter is all you have left.

You call me poison But I don't see you Quitting.

Fuck your soft words. Compare me not to stars But to storms, to hurricanes and typhoons. See me not for my beauty and fire See me for the natural disaster I am. Fuck your soft words Because I am not soft.

when i'm with you the line between 'friends' and 'lovers' blurs and i don't care which side i end up on as long as you'll have me.

she's like a ghost lingering in the house. it almost seems natural how unnatural it feels.

i was once a pillar of strength, yet now i am a ruin. for when you look at me, you can see what glory there once was.

sometimes i realise that i am my own universe

the moment he saw her  he said "what a grave mistake i've made"