D Hoffman wrangler

my specialty is liking the same movies that 50-year-old dads like but in a way that would instantly send those dads into cardiac arrest if they heard me talk about them

You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn't even say 'murder is bad' at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can't believe you condone murder, I can't believe you're pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I'm calling the cops, what the fuck, I'm shaking and crying.

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

Victor Frankenstein be like:

people act like 20-22 year olds are adults who should be fully responsible and knowledgeable and with it and it’s like have you ever been 20, 21, 22? i knew nothing, i woke up every day dumb as rocks and made every bad choice possible until i went to bed

May have been your experience but i only make the right choice and will never die

that’s exactly what it’s like to be 20-22

i could find gay subtext in absolutely anything i could find gay subtext in the straightest thing ever created. im like those medieval scholars who insisted on finding christian interpretations of pagan ideas n text but. for gay ppl

I hope celebs can feel it when im rpf speculating about them. Like a shiver running down their spine like someone walked over their grave.

something that never gets old to me is when a saw fic manages to squeeze in an “epic bad luck” when you least expect it. I hoot and holler every time