We Are The Weirdos Mister

Too pretty to eat! Also, much more impressive than the inedible fondant stuff!

I have never heard anyone, regardless of age, say “my phone’s battery has gone”

My dad says “I’m almost out of juice”. So Gen X has some sayings no one understands

Fixed

bring back the habits that made you happy as a child. there’s no reason you should ever have to give up harmless things that bring you joy. you don’t have to age out of having fun. finger paint. write mediocre fanfiction and questionable poetry. put chocolate chips in your waffles. sing in the bath, and while working in the yard, and while washing your hands. hammer tunelessly on a piano. spin in circles until you fall down. climb a tree. just because you’re now in charge of your life doesn’t mean you’re expected to give up on the things that make life feel worth living

Damnit mortimers back at it again

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

this is all accurate and i hate it

My Best Friend reblogged this.

“how stoned are you?” “about 10% fossilized.”