Stay Raaaaad.

You have to start noticing things. The direction of the rays of sunshine, how it touches and warms your skin; the sway of a leaf in a mild breeze; the simple beauty of the flowers; the strong smell of your morning coffee; the wind in your hair and on your face; the liveliness of the city; the calm of your soul. You have to start noticing this and start living for it.

If smoking cigarettes made you gain weight instead of causing cancer a lot more people would never have started.

Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets

Sometimes I Open the Fridge For Me - the thrilling sequel

yo how much dirt you gotta throw in the ocean to make a new country

It’s pretty amazing how many Ouija board ghosts are fluent and literate in English.

I thought she was gonna comment on the mask, but I guess we’re past that.