An endless ocean of desire

In bed he was completely naked. Always. Giving you a perfect opportunity to busy your awoken brain with studying the fascinating contrast between Ari's thick, sturdy body - all muscles and power - and your growing, pregnant belly.

You laid on your side, snuggled close to Ari, who was sprawled on his back; one arm beneath your head and curled around your back. The covers were kicked down, tangled somewhere around your feet.

Lately, you often watched your own reflection from all angles. Despite knowing how pregnancy looks, it was something different to experience it within your own body.

Part of the unexpected was how quickly your belly rounded forward, giving you a little surge of anxiety over the number of pups that might be wiggling inside. According to the doctor it was one, but it felt as if there were three at least.

With Ari's infuriating Alpha seed, who knew if he didn't go all wolf on the human side of you and really knocked you up with a litter.

Fully awake - because your pregnancy was a rollercoaster of sleeping all day long to not needing a second of sleep at all - you inched forward, softly bumping Ari's side with your distended belly.

"Need me to wake up?” Ari’s low, sleepy voice paired with a gentle twitch of his fingers against your spine. 

That he sensed you being away wasn’t a surprise. Not anymore. 

Ari slept well and deep, but was always alert to the minor shifts and changes. He didn’t abruptly rise to them, just used his senses to scan the surroundings and assess what was going on. An Alpha always in vigil. Always ready to defend. 

He sensed when you slipped out of bed to use the bathroom, greeting you with a low murmur when you returned to bed. His eyes stayed closed, his posture relaxed in slumber, yet his consciousness was aware of you. 

“No,” you replied quietly.

“You sure? The way you’re pressing against me has already stirred a certain part of my body.”

Ari didn’t need to voice it more directly, your gaze instantly followed where he implied. No exaggeration on his part: his thick cock really twitched in response. 

You licked your lips with a quick flick of your tongue, but stopped yourself from reaching your hand to touch him. It was still so very early, and you were basking in the toasty comfort of being in bed with your mate. You weren’t going to succumb to needs that wouldn’t even ignite in your mind if it wasn’t for Ari. 

“I’m not awake because I’m horny.” You huffed. “I’m awake because I’m very pregnant. And pregnancy is switching buttons in my brain.”

“Mhmm.” Ari’s hum vibrated deep in his chest, resonating with your inner wolf and luring her to attention. 

“Keep talking about how I knocked you up, it’s making me really hard.”

“Ari!” You squeaked when he pulled you even closer. 

Your thigh pressed against his leg. It was hard fighting the instinct to drape your leg over his, but if you did that then you’d feel the press of his hardening cock against your skin, and you knew that made you wet instantly. 

Instead, you wrapped an arm across his torso. Your belly now fully pressed to his side. Inside, you felt a tickling swoop. It wasn’t a kick, not yet, but a movement enough to astonish you once again. 

“It’s moving.” You tilted your head back to look at Ari’s face.

His eyes remained closed, but his lips twitched in a smile. His hand settled on the side of your belly, a warm spread of protection and possessiveness. 

“ ‘M gonna have to install solid locks on the bedroom door.” 

You frowned, both at his unexpected statement and the smirk curving the corner of his lips. 

“Our pup appears to be a restless, bouncy one, with strong disregard for boundaries. Have to make sure they won’t bust inside when we’re busy making them some siblings.”

A wave of hot flush washed over you. Tingling in all the spots that you knew Ari sensed. There was no hiding, or denying to your mate, that your nipples hardened, and a drip of slick trickled between your folds. He sensed all of that.

Undoubtedly, judging by the flare of his nostrils, and the broadening of his smirk. 

“Can’t we have a soft, normal morning?” You grumbled. 

“Ah, but we are having that, Omega.” Ari’s eyes slowly opened, his blue irises peering right at you. “If I didn’t respect you wanting to snuggle and process the deep growth of our bond, and our future, I’d already have you stretched on my cock.” 

“I’d either move you on top of me, so I could watch your round belly and heavy breasts. Or roll you to your other side and slide into your sweet, wet pussy from behind… have that lazy early morning intimacy, before fucking you like on the cusp of your heat.”

With each word Ari’s eyes darkened, his gaze sharpening to full awakeness. And your body roused further, climbing in its need to recreate all that. 

“But I’m just laying here, holding my mate and sharing a hushed morning.” His hand on your belly moved slightly; chasing the fluttering heartbeat within it. “Then I’m going to make you breakfast. And maybe eat your sweet pussy for dessert, to sate it a little before I leave for my daily duties.” 

“You’re so full of it,” you snorted, rolling your eyes. 

You dropped your head to rest on Ari’s shoulder, shifting your gaze to where his big hand spanned the curve of your belly. 

“So you don’t want breakfast? Or my tongue?” Ari teased.

“I want waffles.” You demanded.

Pause.

“And your cock.” 

“Buck,” Steve says.

“Steve.”

“This is—” he pauses. “She’s mine.”

Not your name. Not your role. Just ownership.

The man nods once. “Got it.”

Steve turns to you, “Bucky’s going to be here while I’m gone. He’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”

Taken care of.

“You follow the rules,” Steve continues quietly. “Nothing changes.”

“And if I don’t?” you ask.

Steve’s expression doesn’t shift.

“You will.”

He leans in, presses a kiss to your temple, then straightens, already turning away.

“I’ll see you soon.”

The door closes behind him. The penthouse feels larger immediately. Emptier. The air shifts, like something essential has been removed.

“I’ll be in the other room,” Bucky says. “If you need anything.”

You nod.

He leaves you standing there, alone in the quiet, surrounded by glass and luxury and rules you didn’t help write. And for the first time since New Year’s Eve, it isn’t Steve’s presence that unsettles you. It’s the certainty that he doesn’t need to be here to keep you exactly where he wants you.

Morning stretches thin without Steve.

The penthouse feels different in daylight—too open, too quiet, all glass and sharp edges with nowhere to hide. The city glints beneath you, distant and unreachable, like a life you’re no longer part of.

You try to read. The book rests open in your lap, but the words won’t stick. You keep losing your place, your thoughts circling the same question you’ve been avoiding since Steve walked out the door.

What am I allowed to do when he isn’t here?

You try to nap. Sleep never comes. Your body stays alert, like it’s waiting for permission to rest. Eventually, you give up. You wander.

You don’t mean to go down that hall. You just drift that way. Bare feet on soft carpet. The penthouse stretching long and quiet around you. The door waits at the end of the hallway. You stop a few feet from it, heart picking up speed. Steve’s voice echoes in your head.

Not there. You take another step.

The handle is cool beneath your fingers. Proof that the line exists for a reason. You don’t turn it. You just let your hand linger, testing how long is too long.

“You’re pushing it.”

You startle, dropping your hand and turning around. Bucky leans against the wall a few feet back, arms crossed. He doesn’t look angry. If anything, he looks thoughtful.

“I wasn’t opening it,” you say.

Bucky nods once. “I know.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

He straightens, taking a step closer. “The problem is that you’re standing here instead of anywhere else.”

You huff out a quiet laugh. “So I’m not even allowed to wonder?”

He considers that. Really considers it.

“You can wonder,” he says. “You just don’t get to act on it.”

“Steve send you out here to say that?”

“No.” A pause. “He trusts me to handle it.”

There’s something different in his tone than Steve ever allows himself. Less absolute. More human.

“What’s in there?” you ask.

Bucky’s mouth tightens, but he doesn’t shut you down. “Things that don’t concern you.”

“Yet.”

A corner of his mouth almost twitches. “Careful.”

“And what happens if I keep standing here?”

He meets your gaze steadily. “Then I remind you why you don’t.”

You hesitate, then ask quietly, “Does he ever stop being like this?”

Bucky exhales slowly. “Steve’s not a bad guy. But he is a decided one. Once he decides something matters, he builds his whole world around keeping it intact.”

“And me?”

His eyes soften just a fraction. “You’re not one of the ugly parts.”

He steps aside, opening the hallway back toward the rest of the penthouse.

“He’s not trying to break you,” Bucky says. “He’s trying to keep you.”

Then, firmer: “But that door stays closed.”

You turn away. And as you walk back toward the open space you’re allowed to occupy, one truth settles in, heavy and unavoidable:

Steve doesn’t see himself as your captor. He sees himself as your savior.

By late afternoon, everything feels heavier. The light shifts, sliding low across the glass. You haven’t gone near the hallway again. You haven’t needed to. Your phone buzzes. You answer on the first ring.

“How are you?” Steve asks.

“I didn’t open it.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“You stopped there,” he says gently. “Longer than usual.”

“You’re watching me?”

“Not like that.” A pause. “You’re learning where the edges are. I expected it.” He draws in a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” he asks, unexpectedly.

“I think so.”

“I don’t want you hurting when I’m not there.”

“Then why leave?”

“Because you need to learn that I don't disappear when I’m gone.” Then, firmer: “Don’t go back there.”

“I understand.”

“Eat dinner. Try to sleep.”

Softer now: “I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m doing this so nothing else ever can.”

The call ends.

And the worst part is… you’re starting to believe him.

The call should have settled you. Instead, it needles. Your stomach growls interrupting your thoughts. In the kitchen, everything is already prepared. Approved. Controlled. You stare at the fruit. The hummus. The careful portions.

Then you open the freezer.

Cookies. Ice cream. You take both.

“That’s not on the list,” Bucky says mildly.

“I know.”

“You want to rethink that?”

You take a bite anyway. Cold. Sweet. Yours.

“It’s a snack.”

“It’s not about the food.”

“It’s about choice.”

Bucky studies you. “Careful. He minds testing.”

“Then maybe he shouldn’t make everything a test.”

“So you want me to tell him?” Bucky asks.

You meet his gaze. “Go ahead. Tell Steve.”

The challenge hangs there.

Bucky shakes his head once. “This one’s yours.”

As you walk away, sweetness on your tongue, something sharper settles beneath it.

For the first time since Steve left, you aren’t obeying out of fear. You’re doing it to see what happens next. And that feels like the beginning of something Steve didn’t plan for.

By the time dinner rolls around, you’re irritable in the way only hunger can sharpen.

Not starving—just uncomfortable. The kind of hunger that makes every small thing feel personal. You’d barely made a dent in the ice cream before Bucky’s warning had lodged itself under your skin, souring the sweetness. You hadn’t finished it on purpose.

You sit at the long dining table, posture stiff, already bracing yourself. You expect the usual, something plated carefully, nutritionally sound, approved. Protein. Vegetables. Balance. Control.

The cloche lifts. You blink. Burgers.

Real ones. Thick patties, glossy buns, cheese melting down the sides. A pile of fries still steaming. And beside your plate—a tall glass, chocolate shake crowned with whipped cream, a cherry skewered neatly on top like punctuation.

You stare.

Bucky lets out a low huff, something close to a laugh. “Well,” he says, pulling out his chair, “that answers that.”

You look up. “Steve ordered this?”

“Yeah,” Bucky replies, already sitting. “Called it in himself.”

Your fingers curl slowly against the edge of the table. “After I—”

“After the snack,” Bucky finishes, casual but observant. “Yeah.”

You don’t know what to feel. Vindicated. Seen. Played.

You pick up the burger anyway. Your hands hesitate for half a second before biting in, and the taste—salt, grease, comfort—hits you harder than it should. You chew slowly, eyes down, letting yourself have it.

Bucky eats in silence for a few minutes, giving you space. No commentary. No looks.

Finally, you say, “So this was… what. A reward?”

Bucky shrugs. “I wouldn’t call it that.”

“Then what?”

“A reminder,” he says. “That he notices more than you think.”

You glance up. “He notices when I’m hungry?”

He meets your gaze, steady. “He notices when you’re restless. When you’re pushing. When you’re about to dig your heels in just to prove you still can.”

You swallow, take another bite. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”

Bucky’s mouth quirks, not quite a smile. “Didn’t say it was.”

You sip the shake, whipped cream smearing briefly at the corner of your mouth before you wipe it away. “So he lets me think I’m being defiant. Then hands me exactly what I wanted.”

“Not exactly,” Bucky says.

You pause. “What do you mean?”

He leans back slightly, studying you—not like Steve does. “Steve doesn’t just want you to be comfortable,” Bucky says carefully. “And it’s not just about keeping you where he can see you.”

“Then what is it about?”

Bucky considers his answer longer than you expect.

“He sees patterns,” he finally says. “In people. In behavior. In how they cope when control gets taken away.”

Your stomach tightens. “And what does he see in me?”

Bucky looks at you for a moment, then back to his plate.

“He sees someone who fights being cornered,” he says. “But settles fast once they feel understood.”

You still.

“That’s not surface-level,” Bucky continues quietly. “That’s not just wanting to keep you.”

You push a fry around your plate. “Then why tell me any of this?”

Bucky shrugs again, softer this time. “Because you’re not stupid. And because wondering is worse than knowing a little.”

You look back at the burger. At the shake. At the care disguised as indulgence.

“So he planned this,” you say.

“Yes.”

“And he knew I’d read into it.”

Bucky’s gaze flicks back to you. “Also yes.”

You exhale slowly, torn between frustration and something dangerously close to gratitude.

“Finish your dinner,” Bucky says, standing. “He’ll ask.”

You glance up. “What will you tell him?”

Bucky pauses, then answers honestly.

“That you ate,” he says. “And that you’re thinking.”

He leaves you alone with your plate, the city glowing outside the windows, and the unsettling realization settling deep in your chest:

Steve isn’t just shaping your world.

He’s learning you.

And that feels far more dangerous than being kept.

You’re dreaming of him.

Not the version that watches from across a room or stands framed in doorways—this Steve is closer, warmer, his presence pressed into you until the rest of the world fades out. In the dream, his hands are everywhere without ever touching too much, his voice low in your ear, familiar and commanding all at once.

Stay still, he murmurs.

You obey.

A brush of warmth at your jaw makes you sigh, drifting deeper into it, chasing the feeling as it blooms—

—and then it’s real.

Your eyes flutter open to darkness broken by the light of the moon, the house hushed and close around you. Steve is there, leaned over you, one hand braced beside your head, the other cupping your face.

His mouth is at your jaw, pressing slow, deliberate kisses along your skin. Your breath catches. “Steve…?”

“I know,” he murmurs softly, lips moving to the corner of your mouth. “You were dreaming.”

You don’t ask how he knows. You never do anymore.

He kisses you again, gentler this time, coaxing you fully awake, grounding you in the present. You realize then that he smells like night air and travel, like he hasn’t even stopped to change.

“You came back,” you whisper.

“Early,” he admits. His thumb strokes your cheek, slow and familiar. “Couldn’t sleep.”

That’s a lie. Or a truth shaped carefully enough to pass as one.

Your stomach tightens. “I didn’t open it.”

“I know,” he says again, and there’s something like approval threaded through the word. “You stopped yourself.”

His mouth finds yours then, and you melt into it despite yourself, body recognizing him before your mind can catch up.

“And dinner?” he asks quietly, lips brushing yours as he speaks.

“You ordered burgers,” you say. “And a shake.”

A soft sound leaves his chest. Satisfaction. “Did you eat?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” His hand slides to your waist, grounding you to the mattress. “I don’t like you hungry.”

You swallow. “You let me think I was defying you.”

“I let you feel like you still had room to breathe,” Steve corrects gently. “There’s a difference.”

He kisses you again, slower now, like he’s savoring the way you respond, how easily your body gives in, how quickly you soften under his touch.

“You’re doing better than you think,” he murmurs against your skin. “But you don’t need to test me to be seen.”

His lips trail upward, to your temple, your hairline. You feel the weight of him without being pinned, the safety and the danger braided together so tightly you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.

“I came back because you were thinking too hard,” Steve says quietly. “And because I wanted to remind you…”

He presses another kiss to your mouth, lingering just long enough to make your chest ache.

“…that you don’t have to wonder what you mean to me.”

The words sink in slowly as his hand slides from your waist to your back, drawing you closer until there’s no space left to question. His touch isn’t rushed—never is—but it’s unmistakably intent now, as if he’s made a decision and is letting you feel it.

You tilt into him without thinking.

Steve exhales softly against your lips, something like relief threaded through it, before kissing you again—deeper this time, slower, his mouth coaxing rather than taking. He takes his time learning the way you respond, the way your breath stutters when his thumb traces your jaw, the way your body softens when he presses you gently back into the mattress.

“You’re here,” he murmurs, forehead resting against yours. “With me.”

His hands move with purpose now, grounding and sure, skimming warm paths over your skin, never hurried, never careless. Every touch feels like reassurance as much as desire, like he’s reminding you—over and over—that he’s real, that he’s back, that he chose to come home to you.

When his mouth drifts lower, leaving a trail of heat in its wake, your fingers curl into his shirt, anchoring yourself to the moment, to him. He pauses there, just long enough to make you aware of the promise in it, the patience, the control. You feel yourself letting go.

The tension that’s lived in your chest starts to dissolve under the slow certainty of him. Your body softens into the mattress, into his weight, into the steady warmth of his hands as they move over you with quiet confidence.

For a moment, you forget the rules. Forget the waiting. Forget that Steve Rogers never does anything without intention. Your breath catches as you tilt your head back, giving in to the warmth building between you.

And then he stops. He’s just still.

You blink, confused, breath uneven as his hand comes up to cradle your face again. His thumb brushes your cheek, like he’s bringing you gently back from the edge of something.

“Steve…” you whisper.

His mouth curves faintly. “I know,” he murmurs.

He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips, slower now, like he’s settling you instead of urging you forward.

“You were close to forgetting something.”

Your brow furrows slightly. “What?”

“That punishment still stands.”

A small sound of frustration slips from you before you can stop it. Steve exhales softly, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I told you,” he says gently, “I don’t give you everything the moment you want it.”

His hand slides down your back, drawing you closer instead of away. The warmth of him is still there, the promise still hanging in the air, but held just out of reach.

“Tonight,” he murmurs, voice low against your hair, “you get to remember how good it feels to want.”

You sigh against him, half exasperated, half undone. Steve shifts then, pulling the blanket over both of you, settling you against his chest like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“You’ll sleep,” he says softly.

“And tomorrow?” you ask.

His answer comes after a pause.

“Tomorrow,” Steve murmurs, pressing one last kiss to your temple, “we’ll see if you’ve earned the rest.”

Your eyes drift closed despite yourself, the steady rhythm of his breathing beneath your cheek pulling you under.

And somewhere between frustration and comfort, one last thought slips through your mind before sleep takes you:

He didn’t deny you.

He just decided when you’re allowed to have it.

For two agonizing weeks, you’d played a dangerous game, sending him increasingly scandalous photos and videos from the privacy of your home. Each image was more explicit than the last. You knew it would have consequences, but you hadn’t anticipated this exquisite torture. 

“Steve, please,” you beg, arching your back as he teases your entrance with the head of his cock. He’s coated in your arousal, sliding against you without ever pushing inside. “Please, I need it so bad.”  

“Need what? This?” He circles the buzzing tip around your aching nub, never quite making contact. “Or this?” He sinks an inch of his length into you, your pussy greedily trying to draw him deeper before he withdraws completely.

A sob of pure frustration escapes you. “Both! Just… please, let me come. I’ll be so good, I swear.”

He sinks into you slowly and your body sings with relief, only for him to pull out again, leaving you empty and clenching around nothing. He does it again, this time sinking in deeper before retreating. 

You’re crying in desperation now, hot tears rolling down your temples. “Please, just fuck me. I need you inside me.”

“You need me, huh?” he growls, sliding in to the hilt, stretching you gloriously before withdrawing once more. 

He brings the buzzing, slick head of the vibrator to your lips, the scent of your arousal sharp and intoxicating as he smears it across your mouth. “Didn’t look like you needed me when you were fucking this silly little toy on camera.”

Your cheeks flush at the memory—riding the toy with desperate need, moaning uncontrollably, never imagining he’d be using it against you like this.

After one more excruciatingly slow entry and complete withdrawal, he pulls back. Panic claws at your throat as you watch him wrap his hand around his glistening, hard length.

“No! Steve, no!” you protest, tugging at your restraints. “Don’t! Put it in me. I want to feel you when you come. I need your cock, please, I’m begging you!”

He laughs, a low, wicked sound as he begins to stroke himself with long, sure movements, his eyes locked on your trembling, exposed body. “You should’ve been more patient.” 

His breathing quickens, hand moving faster, fist tightening. With a throaty groan, he stiffens as hot ropes of his cum paint your pussy. 

You whimper at the feeling. “Can I please come now?” you ask, your voice a broken, desperate whisper.

Steve looks down at you, at the mess he’s made on your skin, as a slow smirk spreads across his face. “Oh no, baby… we’re just getting started.”