Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

fill my bed put some liquor in it

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

If a man would walk 500 miles for you, that's cute and he's being romantic. If he would walk 500 more, he probably just likes walking long distances

alcohol has no known effects

these pictures are so loose and lacking in detail that it’s making my brain force images onto them that aren’t actually there

is that wrinkly kong

[after doing whatever i want] That was a demonstration of masculine virtue